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"Battler…" Beato practically hissed, glaring at her husband.
That was her cake. Hers. He wasn't allowed to steal it, or look so smug while doing it, and she was going to wrap her hands around this gorgeous man's neck and make him choke on it.
He kept eating it. She tapped her fingers angrily against the table. Yes, they were having a grand afternoon tea outside, so there were plenty of other sweets. But she had put that small slice of chocolate cake onto her plate. It had been the only one left after Battler gobbled down several, and Maria had stopped by and taken some for her and Ange's own picnic elsewhere, and… and…
Battler swallowed his current bite of cake. "When you hiss and pout like this, you really do look like a cat, Beato," he chuckled.
She frowned at him. A cat. Really… Well, she supposed she could see it. "I'd be a cute cat, wouldn't I? At least then you'd give my cake back," she grumbled.
He patted her head, as if to agree with her, and then… "Battler. What are you doing."
He smirked at her, probably enjoying her increasingly bewildered expression. "Scratching your ears."
"My ears are… um… what…" Her voice went increasingly higher and softer, but in her defense, that was because she'd realized what he meant, and also it felt incredibly nice.
His smirk only grew. "Guess you really are a cat, Beato."
She couldn't even argue. The two cute cat ears on top of her head made it pretty much impossible. It was Battler's fault for calling her a cat, and her fault for agreeing, and probably the fact that she'd imagined it for about a second, that had resulted in this. And Battler's fingers felt really, really good, like nice tingly waves of bliss radiating out from each movement, so she barely had the presence of mind to protest.
She tried to speak, not sure if she wanted to ask him to stop or to never stop, and ended up making a noise that amounted to a purr. A purr.
Battler didn't laugh at her, thankfully. "Is it that nice, Beato?"
"Mm…" It really was, and she almost envied cats. She could barely keep her eyes open, and she could barely think.
He leaned over and kissed one fuzzy ear, making her cheeks grow pink. "Adorable," he whispered, and Beato shuddered at the sound.
"Battler, this is your fault…" She pouted, her slightly watery blue eyes meeting his amused gaze.
He sighed. "If I give you the cake, will you forgive me?"
She nodded eagerly, her ears twitching. She could feel them doing it, and it was an odd sensation… even that minor oddness was Battler's fault.
He used his fork to grab a bite of cake. Beato assumed he was stealing one last bite for himself, until he pointed it at her.
"I can feed myself. Just hand over my cake," she whined. ...Her ears went flat. She could tell that this was going to be the most embarrassing and shameful thing Battler had ever done to her, and she was never going to agree with him about a single thing ever again.
He was very obviously trying not to laugh at her. "Aw, but Beato! I won't scratch your ears again if you don't let me~"
That was blatant cheating, and she despised (loved) this man with the entirety of her heart and soul. "Fine," she replied, and it came out as a growl. She was blaming that one on whatever Battler had accidentally done to her.
She opened her mouth wide, and she probably looked like an absurd idiot doing so, but Battler fed her the cake, so. It was delicious, and worth the wait. She wasn't sure it was worth the indignity, but she was letting him do this for… just thinking about it made her blush again.
He fed her another bite. "Is it good, Beato?" He asked. He seemed to be in high spirits. Lucky him. He didn't have cat ears on his head emoting his every mood that absolutely ruined any attempt at composure when touched.
She nodded. "It would be better if you'd let me -"
He didn't cut her off so much as he scratched just one of her ears, and she lost the ability to speak. She bit her lip so that she at least wouldn't say anything else embarrassing. She was going to kill Battler. Absolutely destroy him. Have all seven Stakes of Purgatory pierce him at once.
Battler just smiled gently, seeing her adorable, angry expression waver and melt the longer his fingers moved. "Are you sure you can't keep these ears all the time, Beato?"
She glared at him, just like a cat would. "No," she hissed, but she didn't make any moves to bat his hand away.
So he figured it was fine to keep going. The fur on the ears she'd suddenly sprouted was soft and golden, and the ears themselves were absolutely adorable. They were super expressive, easily broadcasting all of his mercurial wife's moods. But most importantly for petting, they seemed super sensitive.
The way her eyes were half-closed with pleasure, even as she tried to glare at him, attested to that. He really hadn't meant to do this, but he'd just sort of imagined how cute she'd be with cat ears, and, well. It was probably his fault.
Battler was pretty sure she would actually kill him if he tried calling her a kitty, but she was really, really cute. "I'd pet you all the time if you kept them," he argued, not really serious about the suggestion.
She hissed at him again. The cutest thing he'd ever met. Beato even had little fangs in her mouth that he hadn't noticed before… He was hopelessly gone on her, and maybe dogs had been his favorite animal before, but cats were very rapidly supplanting them.
"Fine, fine," he capitulated, chuckling. "Do I really have to fix it right now, though?"
From the way she could barely even attempt to keep up a hostile stance, and how all the tension had drained from her body, he really doubted that she did. But she would definitely try to get back at him later for it if he didn't at least ask.
"No…" she whispered, and then rested her head on his arm. If she was a cat, he'd have said she was nuzzling into it, or snuggling up to him. Her eyes had gone a little unfocused, and she purred again.
...Maybe he'd scratched her ears a little too much. Did most cats get like this if you pet them in the right place for long enough? Battler doubted it; it was probably just Beato. She was clingy and touchy enough as it was.
"Don't stop," she ordered, petulant and demanding and definitely ignorant of how childishly sweet she sounded.
Battler didn't stop. He only had one hand, now, thanks to Beato's choice of napping spot, but that was enough. "What about your cake?" He couldn't help but tease.
She pondered the question with her body draped over his arm, her ears softly being scratched, her breathing slow and relaxed. "Later," she replied drowsily.
She was a cat napping in the sun. Battler had to choke down a laugh upon realizing that. This was one of the best things he'd ever done, and the best part was that he hadn't even intended to do it.
And petting her ears was relaxing for Battler, too. He'd never had a cat before, but as far as he could tell, they were sleepy, adorable, fluffy creatures that demanded love, pets, and your food. He wanted to kiss her ears again, but that would require him to stop petting her, and he didn't want to risk her wrath.
"Uuu? This is…" Maria looked at the two curiously, having stopped by again.
Beato was so out of it that she didn't even move, so it fell to Battler to respond. "Heya, Maria. This is what happens when you do magic without thinking, ihihi."
"The kitty ears look really really cute on Beato, uuu!" Maria said cheerily, happy now that she understood that nothing was wrong. "I want them too!"
That made Beato wake up a little. “Trust me, Maria, you don’t,” she complained, but the way her voice went high when he scratched one of her ears while she spoke definitely didn’t convince Maria of that…
Maria giggled. Just like Beato, who was in her usual black dress, Maria was wearing her cute witch outfit today. She and Ange (“the Mariage Sorciere’s final member and its greatest apostle, uuu!”) were holding a picnic not super far away - just enough to be in the woods, rather than the rose garden. It added to their sense of witch aesthetic, supposedly.
“Uuu, Battler, let’s use the magic, then!” She was pretty close already, but she moved even closer, close enough that he could easily have patted her head. “Um… What’s the incantation?” She blinked cutely, and tilted her head.
This was precisely the kind of magic that Maria would adore, wasn’t it… Well, nothing for it. An incantation wouldn’t be too hard to come up with, right? He put his hand on Maria’s head, making Beato not-so-subtly pout at the loss. “Come, close your eyes, and picture the wonder that you desire,” he recited.
She repeated it after him, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, absolutely serious despite her excitement. “Come, close your eyes, and picture the wonder that you desire!”
He pictured it himself, and he figured that Maria was as well. She was a stellar witch, after all. “And let that wonder be brought into this world.”
“And let that wonder be brought into this world…”
He grinned. “You can open your eyes, Maria.”
She did, then reached up to touch her head. Her eyes lit up. “Uuu! They’re fluffy!” Her cute, tiny brown cat ears twitched.
“They sure are,” Battler replied. Was he starting some kind of weird trend, now…?
Beato dug her nails into his arm, silently reminding him that she was still there. It hurt, but he got the message, and she purred when he started petting her again. He had acquired a cat, it seemed.
“Uuu, I’m gonna go show Ange! Thanks, Battler!” Maria giggled, curtsying a little clumsily before rushing off.
...Ange was going to think he was a weirdo. Not that she didn’t already think he was, so. Maybe it wasn’t such a huge loss? He sighed. “You do realize you’re going to be really embarrassed when this is over, Beato?” He asked the girl currently purring and leaning into his touch, her own cat ears far softer and fluffier, in his humble opinion, than Maria’s.
She glared at him, though it lacked any heat. “I already am,” she retorted. “You should get a real cat, and stop treating me like one.”
Battler chuckled. “I already have a cat.”
“No you don’t!”
He stopped petting her, and kissed both of her fuzzy ears. She made a cute little sound, like a whine. “You’re the cat.”
“You’re the worst husband I’ve ever had,” she shot back.
He tried not to roll his eyes, he really did… “I’m the only one you’ve ever had.”
“Can you undo this now? I’m bored of it,” she sniffed.
Battler knew she could have undone it on her own - Beato was one of the most powerful witches he knew - but he understood why she asked. Because her form belonged to Ushiromiya Battler, and Ushiromiya Battler alone. Even if it was the form she had chosen for herself, it had been with him in mind. He was pretty sure that if he told her that he preferred black hair, he’d have hair black as ebony to run his fingers through within an hour.
So he just smiled gently at her, twirling his finger around one perfect, golden strand of her hair that hadn’t been swept up into her usual braided bun. “Sure, Beato… You’re beautiful just the way you usually are.”
He believed in that absolutely, with a certain determination. That determination became magic, and with a small, subdued display of gold butterflies, his blushing wife was back to normal. Her cheeks were so red that they could have passed for roses in this very garden.
She looked at him with trembling eyes, and he wasn’t sure if she was about to pout and cry, or absolutely destroy him. She did neither, and instead, grabbing onto his tie as leverage and to pull him down, she reached up and kissed him. Her lips were soft, and tasted faintly of the chocolate cake he’d fed her.
Beato didn’t pull away so much as she shuddered and let herself fall onto his shoulder. “Don’t do that again. I’m not going to play along with your weird taste,” she complained.
Battler thought that was unfair, since, well… “You were the one that didn’t want me to stop.”
“I was in an altered state of mind,” she protested.
“...All I did was pet you a little, it’s not my fault you liked it!”
The two may have loved each other deeply. That… did not prevent them from bickering like children and letting their tea grow cold. However, as much as they both sounded frustrated, they were smiling and having fun.
The debate about each other’s kinks, though, would proceed to go on for hours until Ange and Maria broke it up with homemade cookies… shaped like cats, of course.