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It’s just like any other night.
Except that maybe-
No.
This time, she’s doing what she used to do, two years ago.
Pull all nighters for someone working on the military
Except this time, is not Ed anymore. Mr. Mustang called speaking calmly but firmly to Winry on the phone, to explain that three days before to say that one of the man working beneath him - no, Fullmetal, is not my personal time, I’d tell you if any of them would get hurt, he had said when Edward screamed on the other side of the room - needs an emergency leg and she’s the only one he trusts to complete the task.
First, she thought about saying no. She doesn’t own Mustang anything, and in some ways, she barely tolerates him. She still remembers the day he took the boys away only to come back four years later. But then, she thinks about the soldier. Who has nothing to do with them and needs her assistance.
Winry may not be a doctor, she doesn’t have an oath to follow, but she is very much her parents' daughter. She refuses to not help people when it’s in her power. So, this happens.
Winry, spending the night working on the automail, alone in the shed Alphonse and Ed built for her, a few meters from their house. She loves automail, loves working on the mechanics, and the smell of oil. But she has been going for three days straight now.
When Winry tightens the same screw a third time, she knows she needs to stop. Her brain is barely processing images anymore and her lids are too heavy. She turns off the lights, closes the door and drags herself across the yard, barely seeing where she’s going, her body using muscle memory to walk around the house. She steps down the hallway, going to her room when she hears footsteps.
She turns her head a little, not at all surprised. “Why are you always sleeping so lightly?”
Edward finishes pushing his baby blue shirt on top of his head, his feet pressing soundly on the wooden floor. He blinks the sleep away, yawning. He looks so young , like the boy he was before Trisha died.
He gets close enough to place his hands on Winry’s jaw, his thumb caressing her neck. She closes her eyes, leaning on his touch. She’s so tired.
“Did you finish it?”
“Not yet,” she blinks, looking at his golden eyes. “It needs a few adjustments, then is good to go. I’m too tired to finish it today, tho.”
“Hm,” Ed murmurs against the crown of her head, kissing her temple slightly. “Good, you need to rest. Come on, off to bed Rockbell.”
Winry chuckles, but abides. She opens her door, her hand closed on his wrist, pulling him with her. It’s not really usual for them to be in her room, alone, in the middle of the night. But somehow- it feels like it is. Edward moves with ease, removing her clothes and books from her bed, placing another blanket on top of it, while Winry opens her closet and takes her sweatshirt, the overalls and her top. Her pajamas, the oldest shirt she has from her father and her shorts, are the most comfortable ones and not at all flattering over her figure, but she doesn’t care. She grew up with Edward and Alphonse, sleeping together in the living room, toys scattered around them.
Before anything else, Ed is her best friend.
She slips under the covers, making herself comfortable, rubbing her feet together to warm them up.
Edward snuggles her, pressing the covers around her body. “Are you cold?”
“Yeah, I probably should take a shower but the sun is almost up and I just want to sleep.” She looks up, smiling wickedly at him. “You can always come here and warm me up.”
“Don’t push it.” He chuckles.
“Oh, come on. It’d be way more fun.”
“Winry.”
“I’m already half naked, it wouldn’t take too much.”
He groans. She tries not to laugh. It’s so fun to push his buttons, she always did that in some ways. But now, that they are more than just friends, it’s even funnier. To say dirty things in his ear while Al is in the next room, tease him with her leg while having dinner, sneak behind closed doors just to steal a kiss. He always turns bright red, his ears blushing and usually the words come out stuttered.
“Granny is waking up, any minute now.” His voice is low and rough from sleep. He looks so edible, Winry is half tempted to pull him against her and sleep in the crook of his neck.
“So? It's not like she hasn’t figured it out yet.” She shrugs. “If she doesn’t know already, I’m sure she is suspicious.”
“Hm, who knows.” He bends down, pecking her lips slightly. “But I’m not tempted to find out. I’d like to stay alive.”
Winry laughs against his lips. Edward trails kisses along her face, kissing her cheek, the tip of her nose, her eyelids and and lastly her forehead. She breaths his scent, staring at him calmly.
Edward stands back and winks at her. “Night, Win.”
“Morning, Ed.” She says while he closes the door.
***
Winry wakes up when the sun is almost coming down. She walks aimlessly around her room, sniffing all the way until downstairs; the sudden drop in the temperature last night, while she worked on the automail outside, probably gave her a cold. She shivers, bracing herself, until finds her white sweatshirt on top of the couch. She zippers, the sleeves of her sweater covering her hands.
The kitchen is warm when Winry walks in, Alphonse sits on the table, a letter on his hands. Before Winry says anything, Pinako removes a cake from the oven.
“What time is it?” Winry says, staring at Alphonse.
“Five."
Winry scrunches her eyebrows before he adds, “In the afternoon.”
“Oh,” She takes a cup and pours herself tea. “Where is Ed?”
“At the Anderson’s.” Pinako says as she cuts a large piece of the cake and places it in front of Winry. “He’s helping them on the farm. Said he’d be back soon.”
Winry nods, eating. Edward always grunts and pouts whenever Pinako sends him on one of her missions, volunteering the older Elric in any possible work around Resembool. First, he would yell and refuse to do anything, but eventually he gave in because, as she always knew, he had a gentle heart. Edward couldn’t say no to help people, he would argue and say nasty things, but in the end he would do whatever he could.
It also helped when he realized doing chores, especially the ones that required pulling weight and demanded extra energy, were the best ones to keep his temper calm and his demons at bay. He still thought too much about everything. About Alphonse’s thin cheek, the armor that had been left in Central, the smile of a five year old running with her dog, the palm of his hands that no longer could bend materials to his will.
Winry sighs, remembering clearly of that day.
***
It takes a long time.
Not much, but enough.
Winry praised herself for being attentive, perceptive with the people she loves, especially the boys. She always liked to think she knows them in a way no one else does. She knows their flaws, their virtues, the way their smile says more than words. She knows things about them as easily as she knows about mechanics, automail and the weather.
So, it takes time.
More time than she likes to admit.
She doesn’t want to notice at first.
They are here , Ed and Al, sharing the dinner table with her everyday, sleeping on the couch with their tummies out, reading books and being goofies. Winry just enjoys it. Savours it. She doesn’t know how long they’ll stay this time. Edward doesn’t talk, at least not directly, and Alphonse only sleeps, and smiles, and lives his life day by day. Winry fears the day she’ll wake up and they’ll be no longer there.
But also-
The sheep festival is coming in a few months, Al asked Nelly’s mom to make him a special shirt for that day, he asked Winry if she could cut his hair and maybe, just maybe, they’re here for the long run. She wants them safe, happy and fed, right before her eyes. She wants to hold them close to her heart and never let them go. So she stays quiet, she enjoys it. She makes tea for her and Edward whenever they meet each other in the middle of night, she pulls Alphonse to her shop so he can read next to her while she works on the automails.
She bottles every memory she possibly can from them.
So, when Al asks to buy groceries, Winry volunteers herself to help since Edward is out helping a neighbour. They walk alongside the main road, once sunny Saturday, their hands full of bags - Al secretly asked for a peach pie and there’s no way Winry is denying trying a new recipe - when they reach the Kent’s farm and Winry stops shortly, seeing a blond figure kneeling near the shed, hammer in hand.
“Is that Ed?” She asks, pointing with her head. “I told him to come fix Jeremiah’s shed in the morning, why is he still here?”
Al shrugs. “Maybe it is more complicated than you originally thought.”
“Hm,” Winry squeezes her eyes to see Edward fix a nail on the wooden wall. “Why doesn’t he just use alchemy? It’d be quicker.”
“He can’t.”
Winry turns startled to Al. “What do you mean he can’t ?”
Al turns to look at her. Winry stares at him, confused and he must see something in her eyes because immediately he says, “Oh. He-he didn’t tell, did he?”
“Tell me what?”
Alphonse signs, avoiding her eyes for a moment. Almost a month since they came home and still- his thin, cheekbones and deep eyes, they’ve been pilling him up with food but the process of becoming young Al again is not as fast as they liked.
“Do you remember what we told you? That alchemy is based on the law of-”
“Equivalent exchange, yes yes.” Winry breaths, rolling her eyes. “That’s the only thing about alchemy that I actually understand because you guys used to say that five times a day. No way I would forget.”
“Yeah,” he says, voice deep and eyes running from Winry. There’s something about the way his shoulders fall and his eyes won’t meet hers- she knows this is more , there’s something deep in what he’s saying. “That means that he had to pay a price. To give something up in order to bring me back.”
“Okay.” Winry says slowly.
Alphonse just stares at her, raising his eyebrows and not saying anything. Then-
Then, something clicks. Winry’s breath hitch and she feels her pulse beat on her ears, her balance a little bit overturned by the realization of what Edward has done.
“Oh. ”
Alphonse nods, “Yeah, oh.”
Winry gulps, thinking about the young boy in granny’s surgery table, his cracked voice whispering disconnect words but some– some Winry could understand and it was always, what have I done, what I have done, he can’t eat, he can’t sleep and it’s all my fault.
It seems very fitting, although cruel, that Ed would sacrifice the thing he loves the most, in order to save the person he loves the most.
Winry gulps, feeling the tears prick her eyes. “He didn’t tell me.”
Alphonse hums beside her, “That sounds like brother.”
Winry stays there for a few minutes, fighting the urgent tears that want to spill, until Alphonse pokes her and they resume their walk back home. All the way back, she can’t stop feeling angry. And sad. And maybe a little disappointed, that he, Edward, that stupid blonde head, did not tell her.
She is supposedly his best friend. She grew with him and made an arm and a leg for him. How can he not tell her?
Does he not trust her?
Does he-
No.
No.
He’s an idiot.
Stupid, idiot kid.
Who wants to shoulder his sins on his own.
Who does not know how to share his pain, his burden.
For so long, Edward had to be a rock. A safe port in the thunderstorm. Not for him, but for Alphonse. Edward had been forced to grow up, too fast, too painful, in order to survive in this world. In order to fulfill his promises and keep walking, to keep moving.
Winry sighs.
Still.
She hates it.
She hates him, for a very short span of time.
He said nothing.
How can he do that?
How can he not say anything about losing something he loves so much?
Winry stops, halting.
Maybe, a little voice inside her head says, is because he loves alchemy so much he can’t talk about it.
Winry waits awake until he arrives home. It’s late, granny and Al are already in bed when she hears his footsteps, one heavier then the other, on the hallway. She gets up from her bed, yanks the door open and sees him standing there, towel dropped on his shoulder, on his white tank top and dark pants.
He stares at her surprised, his brows raising. He looks around before settling on her again, a smile on his lips, his left hand rubbing his neck, his lips murmuring Hey, Win, did I wake you? I’m sorry, I tried to be quiet, and Winry-
She wants to yell, to talk, even punch him.
But she settles in, striding across the hallway until her face is pressed on his chest. He’s startled for a moment and, why wouldn’t he be? Edward is the one for physical affection, neither is Winry in fact, but she can’t help herself.
She doesn’t have words to say what she wants, to say I know, I know, I understand, I’m here, I’ve always been here, you’re safe, you’re okay, there’s no one to hurt you or Al anymore, and I know it hurts right now, it hurts that your whole world have been changed, but you can rely on me, on us, you can do this, we can do this, don’t walk away, Ed, I’m your best friend, first and foremost–
“Win,” he whispers in her hair.
Winry tightens her arms around his back, pressing their bodies. Edward hesitates for a second, but then hugs her back, wrapping his arms on her torso. She muffles words against his shirt, but when he asks what? Winry steps back and looks at his eyes.
“I said, I’m sorry. For what they took away.”
It must be her outburst. Or the fact she just hugged him without blushing or stuttering. Or maybe, is her eyes. Edward could always read her emotions through her eyes, better than anyone.
He sighs, his face shifting in recognition. “Al told you?”
“Sort of,” Winry sniffs, rubbing her nose. She barely keeps the tears from spilling. “But I kind of found out on my own.”
Edward groans, his shoulder hunching. She still doesn’t know why he didn’t tell her, why he refused to use his own words, but when has Edward been good with words? It gets worse when he notices she can’t blink her tears away and they spill silently on her cheeks. Edward stumbles forward, his elbow knocking hers, his hands hovering inches over the skin of her arms as if he’s trying not to startle her.
It took a while for anger to settle down, when she first realized. And only actually did when she placed herself on his shoes. What if she was the one who lost her ability to build automails? What if she could no longer build machines from scratch, help people walk once again, feel herself proud after conquering another impossible mechanical feat? In some ways, at least in the beginning, Winry thinks she would be broken. She would feel hurt, feel like her heart had been ripped out of her chest.
She’d feel useless.
She doesn’t know how he kept going, without saying anything to anyone.
Winry thinks about the way Al’s shoulder fell and his eyes would meet hers when he talked about Ed. Then, something shifts inside of her.
“You didn’t say anything because of Al?” Her voice shivers a little.
Ed stands up straight. “I didn’t want him to keep thinking about it. Like it was a burden. He feels-”
“Guilty?”
He only looks at her, without answering. Winry feels her heartbeat a little faster, because she knows there’s more to this. The density of feelings behind Ed's decision is too great to be resolved in a conversation, let alone a conversation in the middle of the night.
“Do you miss it?”
Edward gulps, his eyes not meeting hers for a moment. She thinks he won’t answer, that maybe he will tell her that’s none of her business and leave her alone, but he rubs his neck and glares at the floorboard.
“Yes.” He whispers, very softly, as if he’s almost afraid to admit to himself.
She remembers the way he and Al, kids at the age of five, leaning both hands against a circle to make her a doll out a few buckets of sand, rags and water. She remembers the way their eyes sparkled, an excited smile upon their lips. They were so happy it took them a few minutes to understand that she was actually scared and afraid of those energy rays leaving the floor.
She can’t help herself when she asks, “Do you regret it?”
Edward snaps his head, his eyes staring straight at hers. She sees the bite of his jaw, the way he expands his chest, the way his voice leaves no room for doubt. “No.”
Winry rubs her cheeks, cleaning the tears away. These brothers. They always had a bond, different from everyone. Maybe it’s the way they were by themselves since little. Winry doesn’t know. But Ed-losing his alchemy? That’s something she never thought she would see. Ed had changed so much since he joined the military, some for bad but some for good too.
Yeah.
Winry smiles a little, with only the curve of his lips.
Alchemy was everything to Ed once. Alchemy was something very, very, precious to him. Although, she thinks, there’s nothing more precious to Ed than Alphonse.
Edward blinks, his eyes shifting, his face becomes soft. As if he can read her mind, he smiles alongside her. Her heart clicks in place, there’s a shift in the air and she just knows they understand one another. He nods, only a little, raises his hand and wipes the last tear falling from her eyes.
“Try to sleep, okay?”
He turns walks back, his eyes never leaving hers, as she walks towards her room, in the same pace.
"Okay."
***
Sometimes she still sees the way he stares at the palm of his hands, the way his eyes shine whenever Alphonse practices alchemy and sometimes- sometimes she even catches clapping his hands together, but never, never when Al is nearby. It’s been months since that conversation and so, so much has changed between them. He tells her stories now, while laying together on the grass, their shoulders touching each other. He tells her about Briggs, about Liore and about when Al snuck a cat into his armour.
Edward pours his heart in a way Winry would never have thought possible. Usually, she coerces the words out of him with kisses, gentle touches, but sometimes, if they are alone, Winry sits between his legs and Edward talks about Xerxes and Hoenheim and a great civilization lost in time while braiding her hair.
She last saw him twelve hours ago, but already misses him. Even though they live in the same house, Winry’s crazy hours and Ed spending the day out doing chores, they hardly had seen one another in the past week, except for a few glances in the hours of dawn.
Winry devours granny’s food, already thinking about all the work she needs to do if she’s going to deliver that automail by tomorrow. She stands up, placing her bowl on the sink when notices Al looking at her strangely.
“What?’
“Nothing,” he shrugs, “I just.. I don’t know.”
Winry stares at him confused. “Al?”
“It’s a little big, but I like it. Because–thank God, it was about time, right Granny?”
Pinako laughs easily, lighting up her pipe.
“It's not like we didn’t have our suspicions before.” Al drinks his glass of milk. “Or hopes.”
Winry crunches her brows, shaking her head, trying to make sense of his words. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Win, it’s okay. This is a safe space, it is not like we don’t approve.”
“What? ” Winry shakes her head, “You know what, I don’t have time for this. We’ll talk later.”
Winry walks out the door with Alphonse’s laughter behind her. She is still wondering what was that conversation when she sits on her work bench.
She turns on the light, ties her hair leaving all the strands away from her face and dive into her work. She loves doing that, building someone’s arm or leg, sometimes, she’s building them hope. She will always love the smell of oil or the sound of the engine. More often than not, she thinks about Rush Valley, about the phone call with Mr. Garfield a month ago and about how he never gave her job to anyone else; it’s still there waiting for her.
She needs to think this through, what she wants for her life, how she wants it. She keeps pushing this conversation away, but she knows someday it will happen. Ed and Al won’t stay seated for long and neither will she. Changes are bound to happen, it’s only a matter of when.
Winry is almost finishing the arm when she needs to roll up the sleeves, again . It’s the fourth time in less than thirty minutes and she’s losing her patience. It’s so close to finishing, she just needs a little more and it’s done. Only, it’s not just the sleeve that keeps getting in the way; in her fuzzy, recent wake mind, she forgot to notice that her sweatshirt is white and it’s not the logical choice for someone who’s gonna work with oil.
She’s focused on not spilling oil on herself, while connecting the last two remaining nerves to the aluminium plate, when she hears the distinct sound of her workshop door opening. She expects granny with a plate of food since the sun is already down, but is a rough voice that startles her.
“Hey, pretty girl.”
Winry turns, smiling, in time to see Ed close the door behind him. She always blushes when he calls her that. First time he said he was mocking her, but then, he kept saying so much, in so many situations, that Winry never called him out. She’d just enjoy it how the words would fall from his lips.
“Hey, you.” She stands, walking towards him, before pecking his lips briefly. “Everything good?”
She doesn’t get an answer, because apparently he’s much more interested in her mouth. Edward bends down, his body leaning towards her, and presses his salty lips against hers. Winry smiles against his lips, holding his forearms for balance. He’s sticky, his arms shining under the yellow light.
She breaks the kiss, laughing. “You’re all sweaty.”
“I spent the day pulling weights.”
“Couldn’t you shower first?”
He pouts. “Then immediately crash the bed for exhaustion? I wanted to see you first.”
“That’s cute,” She giggles. “But you still stink.”
“Hm,” Ed nods, smiling at her. “Come here, kiss me again.”
“What? No.” Winry steps back from him slowly.
Edward smirks, his eyes shining as he walks towards her at the same pace. “Come on, Win.”
“Ed, stop.” She can barely contain her laugh, before she sprints around the shop, giggling like a little girl.
The shop is not exactly large, it only has enough space for her work bench, her tools, a large chair for her patients and that’s it. So she should’ve thought better, before deciding to run away from him in a constrict space. It takes only three strides for Edward to catch her, his arms around her waist, lifting her from the ground, and rubbing his sweat face on her neck. Winry’s laugh echoes around the small place, Ed’s loud giggles joining her.
She laughs so hard her belly hurts, her cheeks are red and there are tears on her eyes. He settles her on the ground, his face boyish and so so happy. His hair is messy, his face is also red, but his eyes glow in happiness.
Winry loves him so much.
I can’t be true, not really. It’s not physically possible. But Winry swears her heart is almost hurt from all this love.
She steps forwards and leans on the tip of her toes until their lips meet again. This time, Edward circles his arms around her waist under her sweatshirt, slowly. As usual, she has her black top under the hoodie, so it’s easy for goosebumps to run through her body as their skin meets. It’s only been months, but she’s not used to this yet, all this affection he has for her.
Edward touches her lips, hesitant, as if they hadn’t done this multiple times by now. He holds her close, his arms holding her but never caging her. He’s so warm, that Winry feels she’ll melt. She wants nothing more than to run back to the house with him, lay next to his side and spend the night running her fingers through his hair. But there is a house full of people and work she needs to finish.
“Hm, Ed–” Winry mumbles, trying to keep her voice low, when his lips leave hers for a brief moment.
“Yes?” Edward murmurs in the column of her throat, his tongue swiping the expanse of her skin and Winry shivers again. He nuzzles her neck to suck the skin behind her ear.
Winry never thought Edward would be like this, she was usually the one pulling him behind closed doors to kiss him, but he never refused. He only used to get aggressively embarrassed and stutter whatever words would fall from his mouth.
They both had very few ideas of what they were doing in the sexual department, but Winry wasn't afraid. She wasn't because even though it felt good, really good, whenever he kissed her hard, his lips on her neck or even ghosted his hands around her side, Winry only had to say stop one time, for Edward to back down and ask in a hurry voice are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to– we can stop.
She trusted Edward with all her heart. She gave it to him a long time ago in a train station and she never wanted it back.
“Ed, I need to finish this–” He kissed her lips once again, hard, and she just–she couldn't resist. He was so gorgeous, so warm.
Silly boy.
He leaned back, nuzzling the tip of his nose against hers before stepping back. “I know, I just–”
Edward looks at her carefully, his brows scrunched. He takes a step back, eyeing her fully.
"What are you staring at?" She looks down, to her own body, trying to notice something different.
“Is that my hoodie?”
“What? No.” Is her first response, immediately. “It’s not. It’s mine. The old one I have, from my father, remember? It has a whole on the left pocket–”
Edward, with his smug face, raised brows, stares at expectantly until she realizes there’s no whole on the left pocket. It’s complete, the fabric is perfect around it. Winry looks down once again, realizing only now why she found it so annoying earlier. Her own sweatshirt wouldn’t fall around her hands like that, or it wouldn’t be three times her own figure, like Ed is.
Suddenly, the whole conversation with Al made much more sense.
Winry blushes. They can kiss and stuff, but stealing his clothes? That feels a little intimate, maybe one step too ahead for them.
Her voice stutters when she says, “I didn’t mean it, I was looking for mine and I had just woken up–”
“It’s fine, Win.” Ed giggles, kissing her forehead lightly. “You can keep it.”
“Ed,” She blushes even harder now, because–
He looks proud?
Happy?
She doesn’t quite know.
“You’re a better fit than I am, anyway.”
He shrugs, nonchalant. She bites her smile and leans to kiss his cheek.
He turns to leave her shop, stopping briefly at the door. He looks back, only his face, their eyes meeting. A little smile rising on the curve of his lips. He looks so pretty, so calm. Winry feels her heart flutter.
“See you soon, gearhead.”
He leaves not a minute after and Winry tries to hold her smile because–
When did that become a fond nickname?