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Valerie blew out a long sigh as she stared at her reflection in the digital mirror. She stood naked in her bathroom, petulant and shivering from her second cold shower of the day, and assessed the dozen or so cuts she had across her arms and torso. The only job she had managed to snag was another cyberpsycho investigation from Jones. As her luck would have it, this job nearly resulted in Valerie being shredded into messy filets of meat and chrome by a deranged blade-wielding Maelstromer.
Most of her lacerations had stopped bleeding, but blood was still slowly swelling and dripping from the long slice across her chest and shoulder. Valerie pressed her towel against the wound and opened the cabinet above the mirror, grasping with one hand for the first aid kit she knew she had shoved in there at some point. She shook the white box when she finally found it, frowning at how empty the shuffling contents sounded. Sure enough, when she opened the lid, there was only an unraveling roll of bandages and an expired antiseptic spray.
Valerie huffed and dropped the useless kit into the sink, then lifted the towel, taking another peek at the wound. As blood began to pool again, she reapplied the pressure and walked to the NCVM vending unit by her bed. Valerie tapped on the interface to see if anything useful was listed under the drugs category.
All items listed under medical care were dimmed out and labeled unavailable to her rental tier.
"Goddamnit," Valerie mumbled, whacking her fist on the screen.
She checked the time, debating asking Vik to patch her up; it was nearing 22:30. He was probably still in his clinic, and Valerie knew he would never deny her his care, but for a non-life-threatening wound, bothering him this late in the evening felt like taking advantage of his kindness. Instead, she pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top before flopping on her couch, keeping the now blood-striped towel on the cut until it stopped bleeding on its own.
It had been a shitty few days. Valerie had managed to track down Anders Hellman the day before, but it was a bittersweet triumph. With minimal persuasion, he gave her the blueprints to the Relic, and then all but confirmed her fate was sealed: Silverhand's engram had deteriorated her brain to the point of total reliance on the shard. Hellman suggested a clinic in Sweden. To keep her comfortable during her remaining weeks, until her consciousness was wholly wiped and replaced with Johnny fucking Silverhand.
Valerie wasn't willing to abdicate to that fate just yet. If Goro could pull off this batshit crazy plan to confront Hanako Arasaka about the truth of her father's death and grant Valerie access to more doctors than just Hellman, she believed she might still have a chance. But with each voltaic migraine, each visit from Silverhand's glitchy specter, each futile increase of the omega-blockers, Valerie also believed that chance was growing slimmer and slimmer.
Silverhand's increasing rage at her for working with 'Saka scum, as he repeatedly called Goro, only added to her mental burden. It was hard enough to make decisions and think rationally without a resentful brain parasite insisting she was putting her trust in the wrong person. "Still just biz. He's no friend of yours." Silverhand's casual jeer had been rolling over in her mind for the past 24 hours. No, you're not my fucking friend, Valerie thought at him, unsure if the message would be delivered while the blockers were active.
Goro had texted her early that morning after he finished his interrogation of Hellman, informing Valerie that they had come to some arrangement. She hadn't heard from him since, which wasn't unusual exactly, but what was unusual was how his absence made her feel profoundly hollow and alone.
Valerie glanced at her phone, wondering when exactly she started craving his company. Her first impression of Goro Takemura, the disgraced bodyguard, was not far from Silverhand's: he was a rigid, short-sighted asshole who was using her as much as she was using him, so long as their interests aligned. But it didn't take long for that facade to crumble. Somewhere between his heartfelt but unneeded apology for losing his temper and his gentle excitement at the visit from their bakeneko, Valerie saw Goro Takemura, the sincere, passionate man hidden under Arasaka's dark shroud.
Abruptly, she leaned forward and grabbed her phone from the coffee table. Before any little voice, be it her own or Silverhand's, could talk her out of it, Valerie thumbed down to Goro's number and tapped the call icon next to his name. His phone only rang twice before he appeared on her screen.
"Valerie," he answered.
"Hey, Goro." Valerie felt her spontaneous confidence flee as quickly as it arrived. "I, ah. Hadn't heard from you since this morning. I just wanted to... check in."
"Our contact has agreed to remain in the city. He has checked into a local hotel under an alias for the time being." He paused. "I should not say anything else over the phone."
"Right," she agreed. "Good. That's good."
"Was there something else?" Goro asked. It was hard to tell over the small digitized screen, but Valerie was almost certain he was smiling.
"Well," she began slowly, thinking of something to say to keep him on the call. "Only if you want to hear about my day. I wasn't playing chaperone to traitor geniuses, but it was still pretty exciting."
Valerie winced internally. Not her best sales pitch. Pretty damn weak, in fact.
"Calling that man a genius is an exaggeration," Goro sneered, "and being his chaperone was not exciting."
She chuckled and decided to press her luck. "So, does that mean you want to hear about my day?"
"If you would like."
Valerie took that as a yes, and she began recounting the thrilling events of the past 12 hours, starting with the NCPD raid just down the hall, detouring to talk about the worst cup of coffee she'd had later that morning, and ending with her cyberpsycho encounter. Goro said little during her oration, but she caught his little smirks when she said something she knew he would find somewhat amusing.
"She got me pretty good," Valerie continued, remembering the cut over her shoulder. She moved the towel, the fibers sticking slightly in the dried blood, to show him.
Goro frowned. "You should have that properly treated, not just covered with a dirty rag. This city is filthy--You do not want to risk an infection."
"That was the original plan, but I'm a little short on supplies."
"I have a fully stocked emergency kit," he replied. "I could bring it to you."
Valerie lifted her brows at his offer.
"Sure. I mean, only if you want." She was about to tell him she could just wait to visit Vik in the morning for an antibiotic shot and some bandages, but decided she didn't want to deter Goro from seeing her. "I can text you my apartment number."
Goro agreed and told her he'd be there in 20 minutes before hanging up. Valerie sat dumbfounded on her couch, phone in her hand, as she mentally replayed their conversation. Goro was coming to her apartment. To bring her a first aid kit, which she could have reasonably acquired herself, if she had felt like walking the block to Vik's clinic. Surely he knew that, too.
Blinking herself back to reality, she quickly texted him her door number, and then took stock of the state of her home. She kept her place pretty clean, but laundry and garbage had piled up over the past week. Valerie tidied the worst of the clutter and lit a stick of incense Misty had given her. Misty said the aroma was supposed to help Valerie find some inner peace--That seemed a tall order for a smell, of all things, but the fragrance was pleasant.
Goro arrived right on time, as she suspected he would. Valerie waited a few seconds before answering the door, putting on a pretense that she hadn't been pacing near the entrance to her apartment, and then tapped the console to unlock it. He was standing in his usual attire, the white dress shirt and black slacks, but it looked like he'd been able to take a trip to a laundry mat since yesterday. He was holding a small box in both of his hands.
"I have the medical kit," Goro said, joggling the case in his hands.
"Thank you," Valerie replied. She stepped aside from the doorway and gestured to her apartment. "Do you want to come in?"
She saw the flicker of hesitation cross his eyes. Until now, they had only met on neutral ground. Goro erred on the side of caution, bordering on paranoia, and wouldn't even tell her where he had been squatting, always insisting they change their rendezvous points. But he nodded, crossing the threshold and handing her the kit.
"Thanks," Valerie said again. She pointed to her pair of boots near the door. "You can leave your shoes there."
As Goro knelt to untie his shoelaces, Valerie took the kit into her bathroom, assessing the cut once more. It was looking a little inflamed.
"This isn't the nicest place I've ever lived in, but it's not the worst either," she said as she pulled out an antiseptic wipe. Valerie stole a glance out into the living space, watching Goro slowly pace to the large window near her bed, rubbing his hands together.
"It is not that bad," Goro replied warmly.
Valerie laughed. "That might be the most complimentary thing you've said about anything in Night City."
"It is relatively quiet in here. Where I have been staying, I can hear every car, every fight, and every trivial conversation on the street."
"It's one of the nice things about being on the higher floors," she agreed. "Sucks when the elevators go out, though. Which they do. Often."
Valerie returned her focus to treating her injury, applying a few sprays of a liquid bandage to keep the wound from reopening. She heard Goro's quiet footsteps approach and, from the corner of her eye, saw him cross his arms, leaning near the doorway of her bathroom vanity.
"You didn't have to do this, you know," Valerie said, taking another assessment of the scratches on her arms.
"In two days, we will attempt to infiltrate a heavily guarded Arasaka parade. I need you to be at your best." He shifted his weight, his feet shuffling softly against the carpet. "Did you treat the cut on your back?"
She turned around, twisting her neck in a futile effort to see what he was talking about. Valerie thought she had felt a twinge of discomfort along the back of her shoulders, but pain registered differently these days. It could be difficult to determine what was an actual, physical ailment versus a delusion, an ephemeral ache from the Relic forcing one of Silverhand's memories on her.
"I guess that would be a no." Valerie laughed despite herself.
"Would you like assistance?" Goro asked with a warm, teasing smile that lit up his eyes.
"Sure," she said softly.
He uncrossed his arms and stepped into the small vanity area with her, reaching for another wipe from the kit. Valerie suddenly became hyperaware of her body, the way she was standing, her stiff shoulders, where to place her hands. She rested her palms on her thighs and kept her head forward, but glanced into the mirror to steal a glimpse of Goro unwrapping and unfolding the sterile cloth.
"A cyberpsycho did this, you said?" He asked, drawing out the word.
"Mhm."
"You should be more careful." His words could have easily been a sharp admonishment, an order with the implication that he needed her alive for his purposes, but his voice was tender as he cleaned the gash.
"She was in some sort of Maelstrom ritual, got stuck between life and death in the 'Net, and just... lost it," Valerie said. Her vision grew unfocused as she recalled the ghastly scene, metal and flesh strewn everywhere, what she thought was a carcass floating in the ice tub. As horrific as the site was, what unnerved Valerie the most were the parallels between the fucked up ceremony and her own circumstances. Her own soul was also trapped in an ever-shrinking expanse between consciousness and annihilation.
"I'm afraid I'm going to end up like that," she said before she could stop the words. "Just become a mindless, frantic husk of a person. All humanity just gone."
"That will not happen," Goro insisted as he finished his treatment. He placed his hand on her shoulder, silently urging her to turn around. It was the closest they had ever been--Valerie could feel the warmth radiating from him, breathe the sensual musk of his soap and skin. "We will not let it."
Goro removed his hand, his thumb brushing against her skin so briefly Valerie wasn't sure she didn't imagine the subtle affection, and exited the small bathroom.
"Can I ask you a dumb question?" Valerie followed him back into the living space and settled onto her couch.
"You are only now seeking my permission to ask dumb questions?" he replied with a wide smile.
She rolled her eyes in mock offense and grinned back at him. "Not a dumb question, then. A personal question."
His expression sobered slightly as he stepped into the recessed sitting area, leaning against the divider that wrapped around it.
"If you would like."
"Is this," Valerie paused, wiggling her fingers vaguely between them, "Just business to you? Just a means to an end?"
Goro looked at her with such softness she thought her chest would burst.
"Is that how you think I see you? As 'just business'?"
Valerie intertwined her fingers and looked down at her feet, mind and heart racing as she recalled their meetings and conversations over the past few weeks. The way his guarded smiles came easier, his readiness to joke back when she made some smart-ass comment. The influx of casual texts that had nothing to do with their joint interests. The worry in his brow when she'd grimace and hold her head as another Relic malfunction assaulted her entire being. The fact that he was here with her as it neared midnight, helping her with superficial injuries under the guise that he needed her capable for their mission, still days out.
And yet Silverhand still wanted to insist that Goro didn't care about her. He still wanted to propagate that doubt, fueled by his own lust for vengeance against Arasaka.
"No." She shook her head. "But I have a hard time trusting my thoughts these days."
Goro crossed the room and moved one of the throw pillows away from her side so he could sit next to her. He mirrored her stance, leaning forward with his hands locked together.
"Back in that booth, at Tom's Diner, I think we were both desperate and alone, and we both saw one another as a means to an end. Would you agree?"
She nodded. She heard Goro take a breath, deeper than usual, and watched as he moved his hand to reach over to hers. His chrome-lined fingers only barely touched the back of her knuckles, and Valerie swallowed, stifling a gasp at the caress.
"I also think much has changed since that day. Would you agree to that, too?"
Valerie nodded again, unlinking her hands and letting her fingers loosely entwine with his instead.
"Then you should trust your thoughts," he said. She lifted her gaze to meet his. "Valerie, I would not be here right now if you were 'just business' to me."
Hearing Goro confirm what she had desperately hoped was true was almost enough to bring tears to her eyes. She looked down again, biting her lip to keep the waterworks at bay, and focused on his wonderfully warm and gentle touch instead.
"But you look very tired," Goro said. "I should go, so you can rest."
Valerie shook her head vigorously, entirely opposed to the idea of him leaving now.
"Sleeping is hard. I know I need to, but I feel like I'm wasting time. I just toss and turn, thinking about everything I still need to do."
"You speak as if you are already out of time, but soon you will have access to Arasaka's best doctors and medical care." Goro squeezed her hand gently and then removed his grip. "Rest now."
He stood up with the intent to leave, but Valerie grabbed his wrist.
"Goro. Wait. I..." she hesitated, knowing precisely what she wanted to ask, but struggling to let herself speak the words. "Can you stay? Just for tonight, please. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts."
Goro didn't answer right away, his expression unreadable as he considered her request. Valerie felt foolish for a moment, wondering if she had read more into his admission of endearment than he intended, and she opened her mouth to revoke the proposition.
"I will stay as long as you need," he finally agreed and sat back down beside her, a little closer this time.
Valerie linked her fingers with his again before resting her head against his shoulder.
"Tell me one of your grandmother's stories about bakeneko," she said.
"I am not a very good storyteller," Goro replied.
"Doesn't matter."
Valerie closed her eyes and rubbed her thumb against his hand, savoring the warmth and gentle rumble of Goro's voice as he softly recalled one of his childhood tales. She knew in a few hours, the omega-blockers would wear off, and she'd be greeted once more with the harsh reality of her worsening condition. But in that moment, she was at peace.
She was happy.