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“You’re still awake?”
Triss looks up from her songbook. In the dim light of the room, Yennefer’s gold eyes glow.
“Mm,” Triss says, trying not to feel like she got caught doing something bad. “Just have to finish up this song, then I’ll head to bed.”
“Oh?” Yennefer shifts with a huff, the bed creaking beneath her. “What’s this new song of yours even about?”
You and your firefly eyes, Triss very carefully does not say.
“Oh you know,” Triss says, slowly covering the love song in her book just in case Yennefer would come over to read it- not that she ever would, given her general lack of interest, but. Still. “The usual.”
The best, or worst, part of all this is that Triss isn’t lying, not one whit. Yennefer is most of what she writes about these days- it’s easier to write about the strength in her hands and the fire in her eyes than it is to even breathe.
Yennefer raises her eyebrows. “A monster song, then?” she asks, sitting up entirely.
Fuck. Well, Triss has to lie now- it’s not like she could tell Yennefer it was actually a love song, given that Yennefer’s under the impression that her total love song repertoire can be counted on one hand alone. It’s not like she could tell Yennefer that she’s written more love songs about her than there are stars in the sky.
...that’s a bit of an exaggeration, probably. She doesn’t think she’d have enough pages for that.
“Bard?”
Triss blinks, then jumps when she sees Yennefer towering over her.
“Gods,” she breathes, trying to calm her startled heart. “Give a bard some warning, Yennefer!”
“You weren’t answering,” Yennefer says, a tad defensive. “What was I supposed to do, watch you moon off?”
Triss swallows. “You could have gone back to sleep,” she points out, still carefully covering her songbook. “Weren’t you the one saying you needed an early night since you have a hunt tomorrow?”
Yennefer tsks. “It’s not like I can sleep with you awake.”
Triss’ heart skips a beat. “O-oh?”
“Yeah,” Yennefer says, flicking her head to the lamp on the desk. “Can’t sleep with the light on, now can I?”
Ah, there it is. Triss knows better than to hope, really, but she’s always been a bit of an idiot. Especially when it comes to Yennefer.
Swallowing her disappointment, she turns back to her songbook, hand still hiding her foolish words. “I’ll be done soon,” she says as lightly as she can, the little bitter taste of the let-down still lingering in her tongue, her teeth. “Sorry about the light- I can turn it down.”
Yennefer hums. “Don’t bother,” she says, suddenly sitting down on the floor and tugging her pack over.
“What are you doing?” Triss asks, utterly bemused. As much as she loves this witcher, it doesn’t mean she understands her.
Yennefer clicks her tongue. “Sharpening my knives,” she says, pulling out two of her many knives and a whetstone with quick precision. “Obviously.”
Obviously.
“Do you, ah, need your knives tomorrow?” Triss asks delicately. She wasn’t aware that a selkiemore hunt needs knives, especially since Yennefer’s never used any during those kinds of hunts before, but perhaps she’s wrong.
Yennefer tsks again and passes the dagger over the stone. “No, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”
Triss just keeps staring at her. On any other day, she’d probably be staring at the bones and scars at Yennefer’s wrist, or the way her brown skin shines in the dim lamplight, or even the soft movement of her knuckles as she sharpens her dagger in slow, precise strokes. As it is, she’s too muddled with confusion to do anything but just stare at Yennefer as a whole.
“Yennefer,” she says slowly. “Yennefer, the best way you can prepare for tomorrow’s hunt is to go to sleep.”
Yennefer flicks her gaze up at her before turning back to her knife. “Told you,” she says, pressing the stone to the blade once more. “I can’t sleep.”
Triss is… gods ok, she didn’t know this would be that much of a problem. She’s stayed awake before while Yennefer slept, scratching away to the soft sound of her snores. Granted, it’s been a while since she’s done that, since most nights now they go to sleep at the same time- in the same bed even, if only because both of them feel comfortable enough to and are practical enough to admit the coin that’s saved from not having to buy two beds goes a long way for them both. So yes, perhaps this is the first time in a while since Triss has stayed up while Yennefer’s slept on, but it still doesn’t change the fact that they’ve done this before?
So what is the problem now?
She’d love to ask Yennefer, but asking the witcher anything personal goes one of two ways- either she gives the most sarcastic answer on the planet, or she clams up entirely. Triss has no energy to deal with either of those things tonight, so she just sighs and shuts her book.
Yennefer looks up, and for a moment, Triss sees that she looks pleased, happy even. “Done, then?”
“Mm, no,” Triss says. “But I can’t keep you up like this- you’ll be dead on your feet tomorrow otherwise.”
And possibly even dead, Triss very carefully does not think.
“I’m going down to the tavern- I can find a quiet corner and work there until I’m finished. Do you mind if I take the lantern?”
Throughout this speech, Triss has been a flurry of movement, putting her songbook and quills into her pack, so she doesn’t quite see Yennefer’s face again until she looks up. And.
Oh.
Yennefer looks… frustrated? Angry? Mutinous, probably- and for the life of her Triss can’t imagine why.
“Yennefer?” she says, hitching her pack onto her shoulder. “Do you… not want me to take the lantern?”
Yennefer looks at the lantern for a long, silent moment, before finally shutting her eyes and sighing through her nose. “Fine,” she mutters. “Let’s go to the tavern.”
What? “Yennefer, what?” Triss shakes her head, utterly confused. “No, I’m going to the tavern- I need to work, but you need to sleep.”
“I told you,” Yennefer says, a frustrated growl entering her voice. “I can’t sleep while you’re awake.”
“I know!” Triss snaps. She takes a deep breath- this is decidedly not how she wanted to spend her night tonight. She hates arguing with Yennefer, especially when she doesn’t even know what they’re arguing about.
“I know,” she says again, more even this time. “Which is why I’m heading to the tavern- the light will be off, so-”
“It’s not about the light!”
Triss blinks, incredulous. “Yennefer, seriously, what is going on with you?”
Privately, Triss wonders if she should try to get Yennefer to reconsider the hunt tomorrow- it’s quite late, for one, and two, Yennefer seems to have lost the plot probably. Maybe. Growing more and more plausible by the second.
Gods, they’re doomed.
Yennefer scoffs and fiddles with the edge of her dagger. “Don’t play coy, Merigold- you know what I’m talking about.”
No, no Triss very well does not. But she’s never been one to meet fire with fire, so she holds her tongue until the frustration abates just enough for her to speak. “I don’t,” she says simply, fingers skittering over the cloth strap on her pack. “Yennefer, please- you need to sleep. What do you need for that to happen?”
What do you need from me? Triss very carefully does not ask.
Silence. Triss sighs and turns away-
“Wait.”
She stops. “Yes?” she says, turning back around. Yennefer’s biting her lip furiously, eyebrows furrowed to the point where Triss’ forehead aches in sympathy.
“I’ve- I’ve gone about this wrong,” she says finally. “Just- come to bed? Please?”
She never says please, Triss thinks dazedly. It’s too much weakness, too much vulnerability to take advantage of. Triss hates that she wants to push, hates that she needs to push, but…
She puts down her pack and steps closer to Yennefer. She hesitates for a moment, but then she lifts her hand to gently pull Yennefer’s abused lip away from her canines. The movement makes Yennefer’s breath hitch in a way that hooks at Triss’ heart. Gods, she doesn’t want to push this, but she cannot live on hitched breaths and nameless pleas forever.
“Yenna,” she says, heart tugging at the way Yennefer’s breath hitches again. “Yenna, why do you want me to come to bed?”
Yennefer starts to close herself off, but Triss already knew that was going to happen- she won’t let this get in the way. Something will end tonight, and she will see through it to the end herself.
“Yenna,” she says again, “Yenna, please. I’m sorry to push, but I- I really need to know. Please Yenna.”
There’s silence again- this time, Yennefer won’t even look at Triss. As the minutes pass, Triss feels her bold hopes start to wither, and that all-familiar bitter taste comes back, flooding her mouth with a vengeance.
Just as she’s about to take it all back, Yennefer looks up, eyes blazing. “It’s you,” she says, swallowing fiercely. “I can’t fucking sleep without you- happy?”
Happy doesn’t even begin to cover Triss’ mood right now- she’s elated, risen to the clouds with joy, full of so much love that she’s warm, warm, warm all the way through. She just- just-
Without warning, she reaches out and yanks Yennefer into a hug.
“Oi!” Yennefer says, though she doesn’t irritated, only flustered. “Merigold, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“How many times have I told you to call me Triss?” she whispers, too giddy for anything louder. If she tried to speak normally, she’d shout right now. It’s so little, really- she doesn’t even know if Yennefer loves her, feels for Triss the way she feels for Yennefer. But just this little admission, this confession that she wants Triss, needs her even- that’s enough to make her fly.
She doesn’t think Yennefer will ever tell her she loves her, but if she did, Triss is sure she’d die of the happiest heart attack.
Slowly, Yennefer’s hands come to hold her too. “Triss,” she says, and her name on Yennefer’s lips makes Triss want to sing. “Triss, come to bed with me?”
Triss smiles and hugs her tighter. “Of course.”