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JJ knows from the time she’s nine that she’s too big for her hometown. With pigtail braids, baggy overalls, and a heavy radio, she stands on her roof and stares up at the stars, searching for something she can’t articulate with a 3rd grader’s vocabulary. Still, she knows that, one day, she’s going to shine as bright as the North Star.
JJ is a quiet child. She spends her time chasing butterflies through corn fields and reorganizing the books in her bedroom. Her mother makes her take ballet and then piano and then choir before finally just leaving her to her own devices. Mostly, she plays pretend alone in her bedroom, saving princesses from dragons and giving the State of the Union address. JJ wants to be president.
Her sister is her best friend. JJ knows that they’re both going to do great things. Ros plays pretend with her sometimes and they always go horseback riding together at their grandparents’ farm. She wants to be just like her older sister. That’s why she starts taking soccer classes, too. Ros is going to get a scholarship for college, and so is JJ. They’re going to get out of this too-small town.
There isn’t a lot of worry in her life. Her father and her sister fight a lot, but JJ isn’t entirely sure what it’s about. She thinks her father doesn’t like Ros’ boyfriend, but JJ barely knows what a boyfriend is. One day, Andrew McKenzie tells her he’s her boyfriend and tries to kiss her, but she sticks him with a safety pin. He doesn’t want to be her boyfriend after that.
When Ros dies, JJ tries to disappear, too. She sits through the wake, the funeral, the burial, and the reception, and then she runs away from home. She makes it all the way to the edge of town. New dress shoes hurt her feet, her pantyhose are torn and dirty, her dress is stuffy, and her sister’s necklace burns against her skin.
JJ sleeps under the town sign that night. It isn’t as close to the stars as she’d like, but at least there is nothing between her and the sky. In the morning, she trudges back through the cornfields, across the high school’s soccer field, and goes home. Her parents didn’t notice her absence.
After that, she knows with her whole heart that she is too big for this town. East Allegheny chokes her with its bruising grip. She is better than this town, than her family, than the other kids. When she starts 7th grade, she tries out for the soccer team and the debate team. She makes it onto both and she knows that this is how she’s going to get out.
She graduates middle school at the top of her class. It doesn’t mean much, but it gives her confidence. JJ makes it onto the high school soccer team her freshman year, and she takes all AP classes. Her school doesn’t pay for the tests, so, at 14, she starts working at her uncle’s hotel. It’s hard to juggle classes, soccer, and work, but JJ does it. This is how she’s going to get out.
At 15, she’s a far cry from the messy nine year old standing on the roof. She’s learned a few lessons she wishes she hadn’t. Messy braids are convenient, but people treat you better when you wear make-up and curl your hair. Overalls are comfortable, but sundresses open doors and buy more time for homework. So, when she meets the person who changes her life, she looks like any other small town girl with a dusting of freckles and sun-bleached hair.
JJ is working at the hotel after school one random Tuesday when she meets her. She’s at the reception desk, but no one ever checks in on Tuesdays, so she isn’t paying much attention. Instead, she’s doing math homework and preparing herself for her history test tomorrow. JJ is valedictorian, but she’s just a sophomore and that means there’s still a chance someone surpasses her. She can’t let that happen.
“Excuse me?” a smoky voice says, startling the blonde. “Ma’am?”
JJ’s head snaps up to look at the owner of that voice and she meets deep, dark chocolate eyes. The woman in front of her is startlingly beautiful. JJ’s heart thumps in her chest. Coughing into her fist, JJ blushes and closes her math textbook.
“Yes!” she replies with a smile. “How can I help you?”
Her voice gives her age away, and the stranger’s attitude shifts. Her easy smile becomes a distant one. JJ feels like a light went out.
“I just need a room for the night,” the woman says. “Anything will do.”
“Let me see what we have.” JJ takes a step to the side and rifles through the hotel’s room book. She sees that they are almost entirely available. “Well,” she sighs, smiling at the woman, “we only have every room available.”
The woman laughs, and the sound immediately etches itself into JJ’s brain. “I’m really just looking for somewhere to crash.”
“Ok. King bed?”
“Sounds great.” She pulls out her wallet, but frowns. “Oh shit,” she mutters, eyes falling closed, “I only have my school ID.”
JJ shrugs. “That’s not an issue.”
The woman hands it over, and JJ looks down at it, expecting one of the local schools. Instead, it’s a school she’s never heard of before. JJ takes a moment to take in the other woman through her lashes.
Emily Prentiss, as the card reads, is put together. Her clothing is expensive and she’s beautiful in that effortless way that tells everyone it takes a lot of effort. Whatever school she goes to, it must be nice. JJ looks back down at the card.
“Georgetown,” she says quietly before meeting Emily’s eyes again. “Where is that?”
“DC.” Emily smiles thoughtfully. “Have you been to DC?”
JJ snorts. “No. I haven’t been anywhere.” She brushes her thumb over Emily’s name. “Is it hard to get into? If I’m valedictorian, and I’m soccer captain… Could I get in?”
“You want to go to a school you’ve never heard of?”
“I want to get out of this fucking town.”
Emily’s eyebrows shoot up, but she grins. “Okay. Do you have a piece of paper?”
“Yeah.” JJ grabs the small notepad that sits beside the hotel phone and a pencil. Sliding them across the countertop to Emily, she shivers. “Why?”
1. Graduate Valedictorian and Soccer Captain
2. Go to a good school, but nowhere too expensive
3. Graduate with a 4.0 and a few thousands in savings
4. Go to Georgetown for your masters
5. Call me when you graduate
Emily scribbles her phone number at the bottom and hands it back to JJ. “You’re gonna be great, kid. Let me know when you succeed.” They smile at each other for a moment and then Emily blinks. “How much for the room?”
“It’s free,” JJ tells her without thinking. She hands the ID back and turns around to find the room key. “Your advice covers it.”
“I can’t let you do that,” Emily replies. Refusing to take the key JJ offers her, Emily shakes her head. “I have the money to pay for it.”
JJ rolls her eyes and shakes the key. “It’s a $50 hotel room. Buy me dinner when I get my masters.”
Eyes narrowing, Emily nods and holds a hand out. “Alright. It’s a deal.”
JJ drops the key into Emily’s hand. She watches the stranger disappear into the elevator before reading the to-do list again. Before she forgets, JJ writes ‘Emily Prentiss’ at the bottom of the small paper.
When she gets home, JJ tapes the to-do list to her bedroom mirror. It stays there for the next two years until she can cross the first task off. JJ spends all of high school working toward that task. She knows she probably shouldn’t blindly follow a strange woman’s advice, especially because Emily was clearly just a college kid, but everything on the list is something JJ wants to do anyways. It just feels validating to have someone as put together as Emily Prentiss say she can do it.
It isn’t like JJ doesn’t have opportunities to be a kid; she just doesn’t take them. A few boys ask her out over the years, but she ignores them entirely. She’s too busy for boyfriends, and she can’t help remembering what having boyfriends did to Ros. Still, though, when Amanda Quinonez kisses her beneath the bleachers after a soccer game, JJ lets her. She loses her virginity while she’s muddy and sweaty and it feels right.
Once JJ graduates from high school, she vows to never go home. She graduates as valedictorian with an 8.9 weighted GPA. She’s captain of the soccer team, has a full ride to UPitt, and deletes every contact in her phone as soon as she drives past the town sign. Memories of a night under the stars chase her tail lights.
At UPitt, JJ puts her head down and powers through, the thrill of crossing off her second task spurring her onward. She’s getting her degree in Journalism, working part time at a local diner, and helping their soccer team go to Championships. It’s hard and it’s exhausting, but she has a goal and nothing will stop her from getting it.
She does make a little time to date her freshman year. It seems like a normal thing to do, and Scott is in her math class, so it’s convenient. He’s okay company and he’s fine in bed and she isn’t even that upset when she catches him sleeping with her roommate. It’s actually a bit of a relief to have a reason to dump him. She kicks him out, deletes his phone number, and stops pretending that she has time to date.
Four years pass much faster than she expects. Suddenly, she’s 21 and doing shots at a party with the other seniors on the soccer team and she’s thinking about the note taped to her bathroom mirror. Her grades won’t be posted for two more days, but she already has plans to cross the third item off her list.
She gets into Georgetown, and she’s going to get her masters in Media Communications, not that she knows what she’s going to do with it. The woman she met 7 years ago didn’t exactly tell her what to study. Still, she moves into an apartment in DC with ‘a few thousand in savings’ and three roommates. They’re strangers when she moves in and she’s sure they’ll be strangers when she moves out. She's right.
The day before she starts at Georgetown, she pins the wrinkled note to her corkboard. Four of the five tasks are crossed off now. All that’s left is to graduate and call Emily. JJ isn’t sure she will. It seems silly to call a stranger and say, ‘remember me? That girl at that hotel in that small town who asked if she could get into Georgetown? Well, I did! And I graduated!’
JJ laughs at herself and goes to bed early. The next two years bring almost nothing but stress. JJ is lost in the big city, in herself, in her future. Soon, she won’t have a list to follow. She’ll graduate at 24 and have no idea what to do with her life.
Then, David Rossi speaks. She goes to see him, even though she isn’t in any sort of criminology program. It’s just something to do, and she doesn’t have weekend plans anyway, and he hasn’t been speaking much recently. Her whole life changes again.
She leaves knowing that she’s going to join the FBI when she graduates. She’s going to help people. She’s going to use her energy to change lives and make a difference. JJ doesn’t need to be famous or rich or special. She needs to help people, like Emily helped her.
When she graduates with her masters, her parents don’t attend her graduation. Her father has a new family, her mother is still in mourning, and JJ doesn’t invite them anyway. Instead, she stares at the corkboard above her desk and the wrinkled paper with four finished tasks and a scribbled phone number. Is she going to call Emily and complete the last task? Finish the list?
Let me know when you succeed.
That’s what Emily said to her. JJ can’t really remember the woman’s face, or her voice, but she remembers her words. She still has her name and phone number.
Even though it feels stupid, JJ picks up her phone and dials the number. A part of her expects it to be out of service, or for Emily to not answer at all. Instead, it rings twice and then she hears her benefactor’s voice.
“Hello?”
JJ freezes, shocked that Emily had answered. She can’t tell if she recognizes her voice after all these years. Her free hand clutches Ros’ necklace.
“Who is this? How did you get this number?”
“Is this Emily?” JJ asks quickly. “Emily Prentiss?”
There is a sharp intake of breath on the other line. “No. Don’t call this number again.”
The line goes dead and JJ misses Emily immediately. The short reprimand and rejection hurts more than she expects. Emily was so kind 10 years ago. Now, she’s a different person. Of course, she’s always been a stranger. Maybe JJ caught her on a good day back then. Maybe the world changed Emily in their time apart, too.
At the same time, JJ can tell that Emily was just as shocked as she was to have that phone call answered. Emily’s ‘hello’ was laced with suspicion and her sharp ‘don’t call this number again’ was tinged with fear. Letting her hurt go, JJ just hopes that Emily is safe and that she gets to a better place soon.
The FBI academy is amazing. JJ loves using her body again, even if field training is different than soccer. She learns about crisis management, how the FBI handles publicity and media, the best ways to comfort grieving families and victims. When she graduates six months later, she is assigned to the BAU.
She fits in immediately. Even if everyone seems very aware that she’s only 25 and even if no one shares personal information, she can tell that they’re all the same. Derek, Spence, Gideon, Hotch, and Penelope all ended up in the same place and JJ knows that this is where she belongs. She crosses off the last task on Emily’s list, because she may not call her again, but JJ has definitely succeeded.
Her first year with the BAU is stressful, but satisfying. JJ turns out to be the perfect Media Liaison and a huge comfort to families. She gives them the support she wishes she got when Ros died. This is where she is meant to be.
Her second year, Elle joins the team. Elle is rude and rough and incredibly caring. She’s trying to prove herself and act like she isn’t trying to prove herself and JJ sees right through her. They sleep together a few times and then Elle leaves. JJ wonders if she misses her, but then wonders if the fact that she has to wonder means she doesn’t.
When Elle’s replacement shows up, JJ is confused. She meets the woman in person before she learns her name. Their new team mate is beautiful and graceful and so, so familiar. When she enters JJ’s office, the blonde stands and frowns.
“Am I in the wrong place?” the woman asks, ducking back out of the room to look at the nameplate on the door. “I’m looking for Jennifer Jareau?”
“Yes!” JJ replies with a breathy chuckle. She shakes her head, brow furrowed. “I’m sorry. You just look so familiar.”
A shadow passes over the woman’s face, but it disappears behind an easy smile and a casual shrug. “I must have one of those faces. Anyway, I’m the new BAU agent.” She holds a hand out and JJ takes it. “Emily Prentiss.”
The world comes to a crashing halt and JJ’s grip tightens around Emily’s hand. After 12 years, she’s standing in front of the woman who got her here. This is Emily Prentiss from Georgetown. Emily Prentiss who doesn’t like being called. Emily Prentiss who is still just as beautiful and put-together as JJ remembers.
“Are you alright?” Emily asks her, dropping her hand and hurrying around the desk to help JJ sit. She kneels in front of the trembling liaison. “Is something wrong? Can I get you anything?”
“Emily Prentiss?” JJ repeats. She stares into the deep, dark eyes that appear in her dreams. “You’re here?”
Emily’s shadow appears again, and she leans away from JJ, hand twitching toward the gun on her hip. “Do I know you?”
“You gave me a list.” JJ jumps to her feet and hurries to the corkboard on her wall. She takes down the wrinkled, ripped note Emily had written her all those years ago. Laughing at herself, JJ gives it to Emily, who just looks it over, confused. “I was working at a hotel in my hometown when I was 15 and you stopped by.”
“I’m sorry…” Emily glances up at her. “I don’t remember you.”
“I don’t expect you to,” JJ assured her, resting her hip against her desk and crossing her arms. “It was a five minute conversation 12 years ago. To be honest, I only remember your name because I wrote it down. You know, I tried calling you a couple years ago.”
Emily stands slowly, chewing on her lip. “Did you? I was… I wasn’t in a good place to talk.” She brushes her thumb over the note like JJ brushed her thumb over her Georgetown ID. “It looks like you did everything, though.” Emily meets JJ’s eyes, mouth tight with emotion. “Did you get what you wanted?”
“I did,” JJ tells her honestly. She holds a hand out for the note and Emily gives it back, their fingers brushing together. “You kinda saved my life back then. I know it’s stupid to say, but it’s true. I… Well, it was all good advice and it helped me a lot.”
Eyes filling with tears, Emily looks away. “It’s not stupid. I’m glad I could help you.”
“Hey,” JJ murmurs softly, “what is it?” She puts her note down on her desk and takes Emily’s shoulders in her hands. “I know we’re still strangers, but you can talk to me. You helped me, so let me return the favor.”
“I’m just really glad to know I helped someone,” Emily mutters, rolling her eyes. She smiles at JJ. “It’s been a rough few years. I’m relieved to know something good has come from me, I guess. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It does.” JJ shrugs and drops her hands, picking up the tissue box on her desk and giving it to Emily. “You’re about to help a lot more people, too. Why don’t we go over some protocol?”
Emily nods, takes the tissue box, and walks around the desk. “Yeah. Okay.” As she sits, wiping her face, she furrows her brow and looks up at JJ. “Hey. Did I say I’d buy you dinner?”
Chuckling, JJ smooths the back of her skirt and sits down. “Yeah. I gave you the hotel room for free and said you could buy me dinner when I got my masters.”
“And you got it, right?” Emily nods to the note still on the desk. “You crossed it off.”
“Yup,” JJ says, leaning her arms on her desk. “A couple years ago now.”
“Well, I owe you dinner, then.” Taking a deep breath, Emily sets the tissue box down and fixes JJ with a loaded look. “I’d love to get to know you now that we’re both grown-up.”
JJ straightens up, a soft blush spreading over her cheeks. “Yeah. I’d really like that.”
“I know a great place,” Emily continues. “Centrally located, free wine, rooftop table.”
Raising an eyebrow, JJ gets her drift. “Dinner under the stars? Do I need a reservation?”
Emily leans forward conspiratorially and JJ leans in, too. “I think you’ve had one for a long time. So what do you say? Want to have dinner at Chez Prentiss?”
“Oh my god,” JJ laughs, rolling her eyes as Emily blushes. “That’s so cheesy! But yes, Emily, I’ll have dinner with you at your apartment. As long as we can sit under the stars.”
“It’s a deal.”