Chapter Text
Even as a freshman, Bright liked his solace. He didn’t mind that it’s been 3 months since the school year started and he had yet to make any friends from his block.
He didn’t really think that was important. The only 3 things he cared about while on campus was his music, his grades and sleep. Which was why he loved going to his classroom 1 hour earlier than everyone else because that meant he was free to put on his music and sleep in his favorite seat in the room.
His own little world.
To his surprise though, he wasn’t the first one in the room today. The lights were dimmed but he spotted the dark haired boy sitting in the seat right next to his favorite spot in the room. Even with his head down, Bright knew that this was Metawin Opas-iamkajorn or more commonly known as Win. He was one of the more popular kids of his block since he was so friendly and handsome which made him popular with everyone. But Win was also loud as fuck and so were his group of friends. That’s why Bright never really stayed around him. Aside from polite “hi”s and “hello”s, they never really interacted before.
Keeping this in mind, Bright’s first instinct was to choose a different seat opposite of where Win was sitting but when he heard Win’s quiet sniffles, he started to think otherwise.
Umiiyak ba siya?
That didn’t sit well with Bright because he knew Win precisely because he had the brightest smile he had ever seen. Yung ngiti na abot hanggang mata. If he was crying then something must really be wrong right?
Bright is an introvert but he isn’t heartless… He wasn’t quite sure what propelled him but next thing he knew, he was already sitting right next to Win, offering him the full-sized towel he had prepared for his shower after PE class later.
Win looked at the towel questioningly and then met his eyes. Bright was taken aback by them. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the emotion Win held in them or because even if they were rimmed red, they sparkled nonetheless. Win’s lips were sticking out in a small pout and that felt strange to Bright since he was so used to seeing Win smile. He still appeared kind of cute though... Bright had to avert his gaze as he felt shyness wash over him. He pushed the towel closer to Win’s hands.
“Malinis yan. Pwede mo ipamunas sa luha mo.”
“Ah… Salamat, Bright…” Binigyan lang siya ni Win ng tipid na ngiti pero patuloy parin na pumatak ang luha niya.
It took a few minutes and a lot of mental persuasion but Bright finally mustered up the courage to say, “Metawin… Ayos ka lang ba?”
Mas lalong lumakas ang hikbi ni Win nang marinig ang boses ni Bright kaya nataranta naman agad si Bright. “Uy hala! Ba’t ka umiyak lalo?!”
“Si Luke kasi… Huhu! Epal na yon. Akala ko kasi may gusto siya sakin pero nakita ko siya kanina kasama si Joss nung kabilang block. Kaya nagtanong-tanong ako, jowa niya na pala yon nung high school pa!? Nakakainis talaga! Akala ko pa naman MU na kami! Sabi na nga ba dapat nakinig ako kela Kana at nag-check the label muna ako!” Win didn’t even try to hide it as he wiped his tears using the towel Bright gave him and even loudly blew his nose into it.
Bright cringed and made a mental note never to use the towel again. But Win kept on crying and Bright had no idea what to do so he awkwardly reached over and patted Win’s forearm.
Even through his tears, Win looked at him weirdly, “Ano bang ginagawa mo? Kinakalabit mo ba ko o pinapalo?”
Napakamot naman si Bright sa batok niya sa kahihiyan. “Hindi ko kasi alam kung pano mang-comfort ng tao…”
Win huffed at him, took his hand and placed it on his head. “Dyan mo ko i-pat.”
“Ba’t naman parang aso?” Bright snorted.
“Anong parang aso? Ang comforting kaya! Dali na!”
Bright shrugged and patted his head anyway. It felt weirdly intimate to him but if it would make Win stop crying, he probably had no choice but to do it.
After a few seconds of patting Win’s head awkwardly as the other cried into his towel, he cleared his throat. “Wag ka na umiyak. Mukha naman fuckboy yon si Luke eh.”
Win paused and looked at him in disbelief. Bright internally panicked for a second, thinking he said the wrong thing again but he breathed out a sigh of relief when Win started laughing. Hints of his infamous smile were finally returning.
Win nodded his head in agreement, “Oo nga noh? Mukha nga siyang fuckboy.”
They sat in silence for a few more minutes as Win wiped his tears and then suddenly turned towards Bright’s direction. Bright shifted nervously in his seat as Win scrutinized him.
“Alam mo… Those were the most words I’ve ever heard you speak. Di ko alam na funny ka pala.”
Bright only shrugged at him.
“Ayan tignan mo, hindi ka nanaman umiimik! Tsk! Kaya wala kang friends dito eh.”
Bright only shrugged again. Okay na si Win kaya pwede na ulit siyang manahimik at bumalik sa sarili niyang mundo.
“Di bale! Ako na yung first friend mo sa block. At bago ka magreklamo, hindi kita binibigyan ng choice! Okay lang sakin kahit di ka nagsasalita! Madaldal ako, kaya kong dalhin yung conversation mag-isa.”
Bright shook his head as he fought the smile that was threatening to break out on his face.
“Siya nga pala, ba’t naman etong towel ang binigay mo sakin? Wala ka bang panyo? Teka, baka mamaya gamit na ‘to ha? Kadiri ka! Baka pinunas mo to sa ano mo ha!”
“Hoy! Bagong laba yan! At napaka-demanding mo naman? Ikaw na nga ‘to--”
Masaya namang pumalakpak si Win, “Ayan! Napagsalita rin kita!”
Bright rolled his eyes. Para siyang bata.
“Uy pero salamat ah kahit di ka marunong mag-comfort, na-appreciate ko naman.”
Tumango na lang si Bright habang kinukuha niya ang phone at earphones niya sa bag at chaka sinuot ito.
Napasimangot tuloy si Win. “Di mo na talaga ako kakausapin?”
Nang hindi na sumagot si Bright, lumapit na lang siya dito at sinilip ang cellphone ni Bright na tumutugtog na ng music, “Hmp! Sige na nga, bumalik ka na sa sarili mong mundo…”
Bright held his breath as Win suddenly inched closer to him. His hands suddenly felt so clammy at pakiramdam niya nga ay kaunti na lang mahuhulog na siya sa kinauupuan niya. Win took one of the earphones he was wearing and put it on himself.
Mata'y 'di maipikit
Nang 'di ka naiisip
Ang utak nilalaro
Ang hugis ng puso ko
Upuang magkatabi
Meron bang kahulugan?
Kaibigan o pag-ibig
Ano bang nararamdaman?
“Ako na lang ang sasama sa mundo mo.”
Bright kept his eyes on Win as he started to bob his head to the music, a soft smile now gracing his lips.
“Ang ganda pala ng taste mo sa music. Parinig ako ha? Promise, susubukan kong hindi dumaldal.”
Wala na nagawa si Bright kundi hayaan na lang si Win. They stayed that way even as the lights turned on and their blockmates filled the room. Win would only merely wave at every person that walked in but would return right away to what he was doing with Bright. He also lied, by the way, dahil patuloy parin siyang dumaldal kay Bright habang nakikinig sila ng music.
Bright stayed quiet but he didn’t seem to mind Win’s babbling though… And neither did Win care that Bright only occasionally smiled and made snide remarks. Together, they stayed in that moment and in “Bright’s world”.
Kahit nang dumating ang mga kaibigan ni Win, Bright fully expected Win to leave him but Win stayed right where he was. Instead, he beamed at his friends in greeting and said, “Uy, Gun! Kana! Dito na kayo umupo! Tabihan natin si Bright!”
Win’s 2 friends eyed them suspiciously but took Win’s invitation anyway. They proceeded to occupy the 2 seats in front of Bright and Win’s.
“Hoy! Kayo ha! Ano ‘to?” Asar ni Kana as he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Issue ka! Bakit? Friends na kami ni Bright noh! Diba, Bright?”
Bright only exchanged glances with Win and his friends, not really knowing what to say.
“Ay parang ayaw niya, Win?”
“Epal ka, Gun! Silence means yes kaya!”
Bright really wasn’t sure if he wanted to sit with Win’s group but he also didn’t have the heart to say no to Win when he was finally smiling so widely.
Siguro okay lang naman kahit ngayon lang tumabi si Win sa kanya…
But Win sat next to him again the next day… and the day after that… And everyday throughout the whole school year.
At the end of that year, Bright still liked his solace but he discovered that he liked Win more .
Nahuhulog na ako, nahuhulog na sayo
Nahuhulog na ako, nahuhulog na sayo
Now they are mid-way into their 3rd year in university. Since that day in freshman year, Bright and Win had become closer than ever, it even became routine for them to show up early to their classroom and listen to music together.
However, it also became routine for Bright to comfort Win after every heartbreak he experienced. Luckily, Bright had gotten better at comforting him through the years that they’ve gotten to know each other.
The younger kept frowning into his hands making Bright sigh as he patted Win’s head. Sa nagdaan na mga taon, samu’t sari na rin ang mga taong nagpaiyak kay Win. Naka-ilang failed attempts na rin ang binata sa pag-ibig.
Si Bright at ang mga kaibigan lamang nila ang nagsilbing permanente sa buhay niya.
At si Bright lang ang nagsilbing sandalan niya.
“Metawin, ang red flag kasi… warning yon. Hindi yon challenge.” Pangaral ni Gun sa kanya.
“Oo nga. Ikaw kasi para kang toro! Pag nakakita ka ng red flag parang nach-challenge! Sugod agad!” Dugtong pa ni Kana.
Umakma si Win na sasapakin ang mga kaibigan tas nakangusong nagsumbong sa nakahawak sa ulo niya, “Bright! Tignan mo ang sama sama nila Gun sakin!”
“Ayan sige, magsumbong ka sa soulmate mo! Hindi naman namin kasalanan na ang tipo mo ay mga fuckboy at mga babaeng hindi kayang mag-commit!”
And yes, you heard it right. Soulmate ang tawag sa kanya ni Win. That also started mid-sophomore year habang nagiinuman sila sa condo ni Bright.
~ Flashback
“Bright? Tingin mo ba, meron talagang taong pipiliin ako sa araw-araw? Yung tipong tatanggapin parin ako kahit ang daldal ko? Yung di maiinis kahit agawan ko siya ng pagkain? Tas di magsasawang paalalahanan akong maligo kahit malamig yung panahon?”
Mahinang pinitik ni Bright ang noo ni Win. “Ako. Tanga ka ba?”
“Ba’t ikaw?!”
“Ay bakit? Ginagawa ko naman yon lahat. Naalala mo yung isang beses na bumabagyo tapos 3 days ka na di naligo--”
“Hoy! 2 days lang yon! Pati kasi hindi naman kita jowa. You’re my best friend...”
Bright sighed and hinarap si Win. “Exactly. Best friend mo ko at di mo ko jowa. Ang magjowa, naghihiwalay. Ang mag-bestfriend, hindi kasi every time na hindi ka piliin ng mga jinojowa mo. Ako pipiliin kita.”
“Ganon? Eh parang di lang best friend yon eh.”
“Eh ano yon? Bro?”
Win made a face at Bright’s choice of words. “Bro ka dyan?! Parang more like… Hmmm…A soulmate! Ikaw siguro soulmate ko! Kasi tanggap mo ko as I am tas dumating ka sa buhay ko exactly when I needed you!”
“Ang cheesy naman non, Win.”
“Grabe ‘to! Sige nga! Ikaw, what to you is a soulmate?”
“I guess it’s like a best friend but more?”
“O, tignan mo! Soulmate nga kita! Yan na itatawag ko sayo.” Win had declared as he looped his arm around Bright’s neck and pulled him closer. “Soulmate!”
“Bahala ka nga dyan.” Pairap na sagot ni Bright habang inilapit ang bote ng beer sa labi niya. Pakiramdam niya nahihilo na siya pero hindi yata dahil sa alak na iniinom nila. Sa loob loob niya ramdam niya na kay bilis ng tibok ng puso niya pero yung pag-tibok na yon, may halong kirot.
Because even if he was supposedly his soulmate. Through the years, Bright watched as Win fell in love with everyone.
Everyone else but him.
Isang tingin mo lang, tapos na ang usapan
Isang tingin mo lang, nahulog sa upuan
Isang tingin mo lang, tiyak na sa isipang
Isang tingin mo lang, hanggang dun na lang ako
~ End of flashback
Kamay ay nanlalamig
Hindi na mapakali
Madadampian ba ang
Kahit anino mo lang
Nahihilo na ako, saan ba 'to patungo?
Sa upuan bang ito, papalapit sa'yo
Bright leaned down to look at Win’s pouting face as he kept one hand on the top of his head. “Wag ka na nga sumimangot dyan. Lika na, lilibre na lang kita ng fried siomai rice.”
Win’s downcasted eyes suddenly met his, a sparkle now igniting in them. “Totoo?! Sabi mo kahapon wala ka nang budget!”
“Ngayon lang ‘to, dali na. Wag ka na magmaktol dyan.”
Win grinned so brightly at him that he almost forgot how to breathe. “Sabi na kahit buraot ka, mahal mo ko eh! Dalawang order ah!”
“Oo na!”
“Oy pano naman kami?!” Reklamo ni Kana habang pinanood niyang nag-ayos ng gamit ang dalawa.
“Heart broken rin ba kayo?”
“Hindi.” Sabay na sagot ni Kana at Gun.
“Edi wala kayong libre.” Masungit na sagot ni Bright.
Si Win naman ay mapangasar pang napabelat sa dalawang kaibigan niya bago masayang umakbay kay Bright at hinatak paalis. “Nye nye! Ayan, ang sama kasi ng ugali niyo!”
“Tatandaan ko ‘to, Bright! Ganyan ka porket di mo kami soulmate ah!”
“Ang pangit niyong ka-bonding pareho!”
Isang tingin mo lang, tapos na ang usapan
Isang tingin mo lang, nahulog sa upuan
Isang tingin mo lang, tiyak na sa isipang
Isang tingin mo lang, hanggang dun na lang ako
Pinanood ni Win kung paano inihanda ni Bright ang kakainin nila. Napangiti siya dahil kahit bago pa man sila magsimulang kumain, hiniwalay na ni Bright ang tatlong siomai mula sa plato niya at inilipat ito sa plato ni Win. Talagang pinili niya pa yung mukhang mas crispy dahil alam na alam niya na eto ang gusto ni Win at hihingin rin niya ito sa kanya mamaya.
“Alam mo… Kaya siguro wala akong jowa kasi meron akong ikaw.”
“Ha?” Natigilan si Bright sa pagsslice ng siomai ni Win at tumingin sa binata.
“Naisip ko lang. Okay lang pala sakin na wala akong jowa. Meron naman akong ikaw kako.”
“Tigilan mo ko, Metawin. Wala na kong pera.”
“Oy grabe ka! Totoo yung sinasabi ko! Kaya wag mo kong iiwan, soulmate ah?”
“Pinagsasabi mo dyan? Kumain ka na lang.” Sabay niya pang inilapit ang plato ni Win sa kanya.
Nginitian lang siya ni Win at pinisil ang isang pisngi neto. “Sungit naman ng soulmate ko! Pero okay lang! Kaya kong tiisin yon basta nasa tabi lang kita palagi.”
Bright sighed and leaned forward, not removing Win’s hand from his face but instead met his eyes directly.
He looked into Win’s beautiful crescent shaped eyes and said, “Wala naman akong balak umalis, Metawin.”
Unang tingin mo pa lang, sayo na ko… Kahit hanggang dito lang ako.
-
Ang tanging hangad ko lang
Sa t'wing nangangalay ka na
Ay gaya ng upuan
Sa akin ka magpahinga
Sandal ka lang dito
Sandal ka lang dito
Win let out an agitated sigh as he threw the covers off of himself and turned to the man tossing and turning next to him.
“That’s it! You have to tell me what’s wrong!”
Agad na umiwas ng tingin si Bright. “Ha? Wala. Nothing is wrong. Go to sleep, Metawin.”
“Di mo ko maloloko, Bright Chivaaree! Kanina ka pa sa campus hindi kumikibo.”
“Di naman talaga ako kumikibo masyado.”
“...True pero alam ko parin na may mali! Kasi usually masandal ka lang tulog ka na, eh kanina ka pa paikot ikot dyan. Tell me o hindi ako maliligo mamaya!”
“Edi wag ka maligo. Sinong tinakot mo?”
“Soulmate!!”
“I’m fine, Metawin. Don’t worry.”
“I can’t not worry about you, soulmate. Soulmate nga kita eh. It’s innate in me. Now please tell me what’s wrong?”
Bright huffed out a loud breath before shyly meeting Win’s eyes. “May nag-offer samin mag-gig sa Green next Friday.”
Bigla naman napatayo si Win sa pagkakahiga niya. “Hala! Seryoso, soulmate?”
Tumango lang si Bright.
“Gago!?!?!? Hoy ba’t di ka masaya? Diba pangarap mo ‘to?!”
“Masaya naman ako. Kinakabahan lang...Tingin mo ba kaya ko?” Nahihiyang tanong ni Bright.
“Oo naman at sa lahat ng tao, ako ang nakakaalam niyan dahil day one pa lang ng Fiat Lux andon na ko! Number one fan niyo kaya ako!”
Bright rolled his eyes. “Seryoso kasi.”
“Aba, sinong nagsabing hindi ako seryoso? I mean it. Many bands have talent but Fiat Lux has talent, passion, and heart. Only Fiat Lux has you.”
Naramdaman ni Bright na nagiinit na ang batok niya and he hoped to God that Win wouldn’t notice it. “You mean it?”
“I mean it.”
“You’ll be there right?” I need you there. Bright wanted to add.
“Of course! Kahit di mo pa ko iinvite, pupunta talaga ako! Hindi pwedeng matuloy ang gig kung wala ang number one fan!”
“Thanks, Metawin.”
“Wag kang mag-thank you. Ganito naman talaga diba? Sasandalan natin ang isa’t isa. You’ve always got me. Let me do the same for you....Alam mo, we should celebrate! Nood tayo movie bago yung gig mo!”
Isang tingin mo lang, tapos na ang usapan
Isang tingin mo lang, nahulog sa upuan
Isang tingin mo lang, tiyak na sa isipang
Isang tingin mo lang, hanggang dun na lang ba 'ko
Bright tried to hold back a smile as his eyes met Win’s from across the room. Win was already wearing his infamous smile as Bright drew closer. When Win smiled like that, it was like everyone else in the room blurred out. All Bright could see was Win and his smile.
“Bright! Ang aga natapos ng class mo. Kanina ka pa sa labas?”
“Oo. Ready ka na umalis?”
Nanlaki naman agad ang mata ni Win. “Hala, soulmate! Nawala sa isip ko! Sorry pero nakapangako na ko kay Nani na aalis kami ngayong hapon. Diba, Nani?”
Ngayon lang napansin ni Bright na may katabi pala si Win sa kanyang upuan. Tinanguan lang siya ni Nani.
“Nangako ka rin sakin” Ang gusto sanang isagot ni Bright.
“Pero yung gig…”
“Ay wag kang mag alala, soulmate! Hahabol ako don! Di ako mawawala! Promise! Di ka naman magagalit kahit mamiss muna natin yung movie diba?”
Bright eyed the man sitting next to Win. The man who had one arm resting on the back of Win’s chair. Gusto sanang sumagot ni Bright. Gustong gusto niya sanang hingin na sumama na lang si Win sa kanya.
Pero sa isang tingin lang ni Win… Tapos ang usapan at walang pag-aalinlangan.
Bright would let Win do anything he wanted to do. Anything as long as he’s happy.
Even if that meant that it drew the line between them.
Nilunok na lang ni Bright ang sakit at pinilit na lang ngumiti. “Hindi, sige. Okay lang. Next time na lang yung movie natin, Metawin.”
“Yes! The best ka talaga! Babawi ako, soulmate! Sige na, bye na! Kita na lang tayo sa Green mamaya.”
Bright watched Win walk away from him but before Win was too far away, he saw the man turn around. Win threw him another smile accompanied by a small wave.
Bright felt his heart clench.
But he waved back until Win was finally out of sight.
Isang tingin mo lang, walang pag-alinlangan
Lahat nasimulan sa dalawang upuan
Hindi sinasadyang mahulog sa kaibigan
Isang tingin mo lang, at sa'yo na nga ako
Because even if Win wasn’t his. He was Win’s. He’d been Win’s the moment his eyes met his.