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Sakyo fixed his glasses. “Thank you for joining me today.”
Banri tilted his head back and groaned. “Why do you always force us to do the chores? Just because we're in the same troupe doesn’t mean we have to do everything you say, I’m the leader of Autumn.”
Sakyo leveled a scalding look in Banri’s direction.
Banri raised his palms in surrender. “Just saying.”
“The Director and I have decided to implement couponing as a way to cut costs in the company,” Sakyo said as he tapped the huge pile of newspapers at his side. “Unfortunately, with the majority of the company currently enthralled in personal conquests of romance, it has been overwhelmingly difficult to find decent help.”
Juza reached for the bowl of M&Ms on the table. “And you called us here… because…"
Sakyo folded his hands. “I think you might all be able to tell by now. I have chosen the three of you to assist me with this endeavor because I am, frankly, quite confident none of you three will ever be able to date at all.”
“Oh, ouch, okay, that hurts a bit,” Taichi muttered under his breath.
“What the hell, Sakyo?” Banri complained. “Don’t be an asshole.”
Juza grunted and shoved a fistful of M&Ms into his mouth.
“Never before,” Sakyo carried on as though none of them had spoken, “have I met three separate individuals so incapable of finding a partner on this planet. Really, one could say it’s a remarkable phenomenon. Settsu, with his general demeanor.”
“Nah, that's fair,” Banri said.
“Nanao, with his inability to communicate with people at any level the moment he discovers he harbors possible romantic feelings for them.”
Taichi sighed and rested his chin upon the table’s surface. “It’s hard to talk to people when my heart’s going a gajillion miles an hour, sue me.”
“And Hyodo, who honestly is the only one here who might be able to begin a close relationship but chooses not to out of his dedication and diligence for acting.”
Juza said nothing.
“You’re such a dick sometimes, man,” Banri spat as he reached for the first newspaper.
“I’ve heard it all before.” Sakyo stood up. “I’ll go fetch the good scissors. I want those coupons clipped clean, no straggled ends. It would be cruelly ironic to spend all of the money we save on emergency bandaids. Nanao, come with me.”
Taichi shoved some of the M&Ms into his jean pocket and hopped out of his chair to trot after Sakyo down the hall.
Banri slammed his newspaper down and glared at Juza. “How the hell do we tell Sakyo that we’re dating each other.”
Juza shook his head. “He can’t know.”
“Yeah, no fucking kidding.”
“He’d get all weird about us sleeping in the same dorm. You've seen what he's drilled into Azami. He’d put us on opposite sides of the van whenever we go to places. He’d…” Juza winced hard. “Do you think he’d have someone babysit us if we ever went out together again?”
“Holy shit, Hyodo, he definitely would. We’re so fucked. We can’t let him find out.”
Juza frowned deeply at the bowl of M&Ms on the table. A crease appeared in his brow.
“Hey,” Banri said, voice soft. He nudged Juza in his side. “You alright?”
“…Yeah. Sad, though.”
“You’re sad?”
“Yeah.”
“The hell, why?”
Juza sighed quietly. “I dunno. I think it’d be nice to tell other people and be able to… whatever. Hold hands or something more often. It’s fine.”
Banri laughed as his gaze melted into something absurdly gentle. He reached over and smacked his palm over the back of Hyodo’s hand. “You’re such a dumbass.”
“Shut up.”
“No clue how you manage to be adorable when you pout even with that ugly mug,” Banri said, in a way that sweet if you knew who he was despite the contents of the sentence.
Juza flushed. “Stop talking.”
Banri’s sneer grew. “Serious, Hyodo. Not to say you should pout all the time but I think you’re a little cute when you’re like that.”
Juzah hesitated.
He reached a hand out, inch by inch, to touch Banri’s face.
Taichi popped his head back into the room. “Hey, guys, do you know where Sakyo’s good scissors went?”
Juza shoved Banri out of his chair onto the floor. “The hell did you say about my mom, Settsu? Hah?”
“I said she was fat and ugly, motherfucker!” Banri roared, holding his cheek. “And the genetics went right down the apple tree, didn’t it?!"
“Fuck you."
“Fuck YOU, Hyodo, Jesus Christ, you’re the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever met!”
Taichi sighed. “Never mind. I’ll go help him look a little harder.”
He ducked out of sight.
Juza rushed forward to help Banri to his feet. “Shit… I’m sorry.”
“Nah, nah, I get it, it’s chill, I would have done the same thing.” Banri squeezed Juza’s forearm reassuringly. “We’re going to have to do this every Saturday?”
Juza shrugged. “I guess.”
“…Sucks. Kinda miss when we’d spend our Saturdays lounging around the dorm and hugging and shit instead.”
The corners of Juza’s lips rose. “Yeah.” He pulled Banri in a little closer by the waist. “It’s nice spending time together.”
Banri snorted, lightly punching the other's chest. “Whatever.”
“They’re gone… Think they’ll be gone a little longer?”
“What’ve you got in mind?” Banri asked, sneering.
“I dunno. You tell me.” Juza shifted a little closer.
“You really need me to lay out A through Z for you all the time?” Banri breathed.
Juza tilted his head to the side as he moved in even closer. “It’d be nice if you did."
They heard the footsteps returning just in time.
“Found the scissors,” Sakyo said tiredly. “For some reason they were in my sock drawer.”
Banri slammed his face forward and head butted Juza as hard as he could. Juza toppled over, groaning.
“YEAH, FUCK YOU, HYODO,” Banri snarled. “THAT’S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR SAYING THAT ABOUT MY HAIR.”
“Looks like shit, Settsu,” Juza spat right back.
Sakyo’s brow twitched. He slammed the box of good scissors on the table. “Enough. I don’t want to hear another peep out of the two of you for the rest of the afternoon. We are clipping coupons and that is final.”
“Scumbag,” Juza hissed as he took a seat at the table.
“Dipshit,” Banri shot right back.
Sakyo glared at them both. “What did I just say?”
Juza and Banri knocked their knees together beneath the table and didn’t say another word, although they both struggled to hide their small smiles.
Sakyo sighed and slipped the final coupon into the plastic sheet. “That’ll do for the week. I see Nanao’s fallen asleep during the clipping process.”
Taichi drooled as he snored softly, cheek pressed flat against the table.
Sakyo stood up. “That’ll be all for the day. Good work.”
Juza rolled his shoulder and frowned. “…Couponing’s brutal.”
“Get used to it.” Sakyo pointed to the huge pile of paper scraps on the table. “Clean up. Wake Nanao before you leave. I’ll go put the binder away in Fushimi’s room for the next shopping trip.”
“Yeah, yeah, see you, old man,” Banri muttered under his breath as he began to collect the stray scraps around him. He held up one strip of paper and fiddled with it. “Hey, Hyodo, take a look at this article. Headassery.”
Juza shifted a little closer. “What is it?”
“I mean, fold it down here, and here…”
Sakyo disappeared around the corner down the hall.
“And here,” Banri said, voice immediately warmer. He held up the folded heart and chuckled.
Juza shoved his shoulder lightly. “You’re embarrassing.”
“Cute, though, right?”
“Whatever you say.”
Banri slid the folded heart over to Juza. “Yours.”
Juza tried to fight the smile that threatened to grow in size. A glowing sort of fondness he usually reserved for only desserts… although recently, now for Settsu as well. “This supposed to mean something?”
“Whatever. Don’t fish for more than I’m willing to give.”
“You gave me a paper heart,” Juza said as he pinched one of the crisp folds in thought.
Banri leaned his chin on his palm. “Yeah. What of it?”
Juza was silent.
He cleared his throat and forced the words out. “Have I got yours though?”
“And you have the fuckin’ audacity to say that I’m the embarassing one.”
“You are.”
Banri sneered. “You want me to show you embarrassing?”
“Don’t.”
“I’ll do it.”
“You’re the worst.”
“Hyodo, ‘course you’ve got my fuckin’ heart. Not like it doesn’t go insane whenever you’re right there.”
Juza clenched his teeth. “Shut up."
Banri seized Juza’s hand and placed it over his chest. “Nah, I’m serious. You feel it?”
“Settsu…”
Banri grinned and showed all his teeth. “Yeah?”
Juza inched closer. The distance between their lips lessened.
Sakyo poked his head back into the kitchen. “One of the coupons are missing, do you two have any idea where it went?”
Juza twisted his hand until he held a fistful of Banri’s shirt. He jostled the other angrily. “I’LL KILL YOU, SETTSU.”
Banri shot a middle finger into the air between them. “TAKE THE FIRST HIT, PUSSY, YOU WON’T. I KNOW YOU WON’T.”
“You asshole.”
“I’ve heard it all before, bitch, get original."
Sakyo narrowed his eyes at them.
Juza and Banri didn’t dare breathe.
“What have I said about fighting?” Sakyo said at last.
Juza released Banri’s shirt. “…Sorry.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Banri muttered angrily, smoothing the wrinkles out.
Sakyo shook his head as he rummaged through the pile of scraps. “And just when I’d been hoping you two were finally getting along. Shameful. I hope the two of you reflect on this kind of behavior and make sure it doesn’t interfere with the company’s work.”
Banri pulled a sour expression and clicked his tongue.
Sakyo pulled the final coupon from the pile. “Ah. Here it is. I’m off again. Don’t slack off with cleaning.”
“I can’t believe you,” Banri hissed at Juza. “You’re such a fucking idiot. I’ve bought bags of peanuts smarter than you. Can’t fuckin’ believe that—”
Sakyo took his leave once more.
Banri tugged Juza’s arm and forced the other closer. “You still managed to be the only one in the world who makes me feel like everything’s going to end up alright.”
“Shut up,” Juza muttered.
“I’m serious, Hyodo. I don’t even want to think about where I’d be or… who I’d be if I hadn’t gotten to meet you.” Banri took Juza’s hand in his and swiped his thumb over his knuckles. “I… love you, man.”
“Settsu…”
Banri tilted his head to the side for the oncoming kiss.
Taichi suddenly shot up awake with a loud snort. “Whoa. Just had the craziest dream about sentient piñatas.”
Banri slammed his elbow into Juza’s chest.
Juza let out a strangled gag and collapsed to the floor once more.
“Yeah, Hyodo, that’s what I thought!” Banri roared, leaping to his own feet. He glanced at Taichi nervously. “Oh, hey, Nanao. You’re awake.”
Taichi stared at them.
Juza sat back in the chair and rubbed his stomach. “Uh. Mornin’. Dinner’s in a few hours.”
Taichi smiled quietly.
“What,” Banri demanded.
“You guys smell that?”
Juza and Banri exchanged confused looks.
Taichi leaned his chin on folded hands and smirked. “Smells like romance and conspiracy in the air.”
“That’s possible, Sakyo was here like five minutes ago looking at a two-for-one sweet potato deal at the grocery store with more affection than my parents have had for each other in the last decade,” Banri said as he struggled to keep casual.
Taichi waved it off. “Nah, nah… Smells like something secret. I feel it in my bones, you know. I’ve got a PhD in pining after all.”
Banri rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Nanao.”
Taichi got up and strolled around the table, hands in his pockets, looking very lofty. He stopped in-between Juza and Banri, wedging himself in like a human wall. “Listen. You two are my best friends in the whole entire world, you know that?”
Juza coughed into his fist. “Thanks.”
“Yeah. Right back at you, Taichi.”
Taichi grinned at them both and held up two thumbs. “Hope you guys have fun!”
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Banri asked.
“Noooooothing. I’m going to my room.” Taichi waggled his fingers at the two of them. “Don’t let Azami see you two.”
They waited until Taichi disappeared.
Juza frowned at Banri. “Does he… know?”
“No, there’s no way. It’s Nanao,” Banri said firmly, although it sounded awfully like he was trying to convince himself more than Juza. “Not a chance. No one in the company knows.”
“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” Juza jerked his chin towards the dorm. “You… Uh… You wanna… like. Dunno. Go to the room and make out.”
Banri got to his feet and shoveled the small mountain of newspaper scraps into the garbage. “Yes.”
Taichi kicked open the door to his dorm and held out his palm towards Omi, smiling wide. “Pay up.”
Omi shook his head and handed Taichi a coin. “They still don’t know that the entire company knows?”
“I told you. I know Banri and Juza like the back of my hand, when they try that hard to keep a secret, they end up lying to themselves more than anything.” Taichi pocketed the spare change. “Remember, we promised. Every day they don’t know we know and think they’re being slick…”
“You get a hundred yen. Yeah.”
Omi sighed. At this rate, he was going to end up broke by the next month.