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The ring on your finger felt heavy.
Despite the sun shining on the silver band, it appeared dull in your eyes. The promise ring that once meant the world to you now was nothing but a piece of jewelry. You slowly slid the ring from your left hand, replacing it with your wedding ring.
It had been six months since you were forced to marry Jung Hoseok. What felt like a nightmare slowly morphed into a paradise. Your heart beat faster whenever Hoseok beamed his smile towards you. You felt jittery at every graze of his fingers on your skin. He had become your home.
However, there was guilt in your chest. If he were to ever find out about your rendezvous in the middle of the nights, he would not be pleased. Hoseok was a cheerful person, yet you have seen him angry. You did not want to be on the receiving end. Not because he was violent, but because his glare alone would be enough to have your knees buckle.
Though, falling for Hoseok was not the plan. Although your hand was forced, you were determined to find a way out of the marriage for your heart did not belong to Hoseok.
It belonged to one of the guards, Jeon Jungkook.
Jungkook was a handsome man. His body was strong, yet his heart was soft. He was the first person you had noticed when your parents dragged you to Hoseok’s home. He had captured your heart within the few weeks of meeting him. Quick glances towards one another turned into lingering smiles. It wasn’t long until you found yourself hidden in the shadows with his mouth on yours. Your heart swelled at his touches and his sweet words had you swooning. Even though guards were allowed to have romantic partners, you both agreed it wasn’t a smart idea to go public when you were both from different social classes.
Two months into your relationship was when things crumbled around your feet.
Your parents had informed you you were to marry Hoseok, a royal with wealthy pockets. You were never a part of the meetings your parents had with Hoseok’s parents. Only then did you find out your parents were making a deal. A marriage to unite two wealthy homes in exchange for peace, information, and of course, more money.
You were scheduled to meet Jungkook that night in the gardens. He was already there when you had arrived. He had appeared nervous, but you never noticed. Your mind was too clogged with distress at the news.
You had run into his arms, tears swelling in your eyes as you clung to his solid body fr comfort. He shushed you softly. After telling him the news, he had tried to ease you.
“This won’t change things between us,” he had spoken. His hand brushed away the tears sliding down your cheeks.
“W-what do you mean?” You hiccuped, grabbing his hands in fear he would leave you. He smiled at you and slowly kneeled on one knee.
“Jungkook, what-”
He had pulled out a simple black box. Inside was a silver band, both of your initials engraved on the inside. It was minimalistic. It had no diamonds that you were used to, but that didn’t matter.
“I-it’s a promise ring,” Jungkook had said nervously, not wanting to get your hopes up. “I had overheard the Jungs’ conversation before you arrived. I planned to ask you later but now seems like the right time. My love for you has not faltered because of the marriage. I know you love me, too. Your heart belongs to me, Yn. I promise we’ll find a way out of this. I promise I’ll never stop loving you.”
You had wanted to believe him—to trust that his words were factual. That everything was going to be okay and that this marriage wouldn’t break the bond you had with him. So with shaky hands and another hiccup, you had accepted his ring.
Since you had to wear Hoseok’s wedding ring, the promise ring resided on your right hand. To the public, it was just another decorative on your hand, but you and Jungkook knew its true meaning.
It wasn’t until now that you had slipped off Hoseok’s ring and replaced it with Jungkook’s.
But the feeling inside your chest was different than before. Jungkook’s ring made you uneasy. It had your brows furrowing with the thought something wasn’t right. Something about the ring no longer felt joyful.
Something about Jungkook’s ring on your left hand felt wrong.
Three raps on the door had you jump in surprise. You padded your way to the door, unlocking it, and slowly opening it.
A familiar figure hastily slipped inside and shut the door by pushing your back against it.
“Hey baby,” Jungkook whispered, a bunny-esque smile on display as he leaned down to peck your lips. “I missed you. You looked so beautiful today; it took everything in me not to pull you into a storage room.”
He chuckled at his words and kissed you again, this time, he kept his lips on yours. You followed his movements half-heartedly—always one beat behind. The usual smile you greeted him with was absent when he pulled away. The smile you tried to offer was pathetic and it didn’t take long for Jungkook to notice.
“D-did I hurt you when I pushed you? What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes quickly filling with worry as he eased his grip on your hips.
You shook your head. “No. I’m fi- I’m not hurt.”
Jungkook stared at you as he observed your face. You knew he could tell there was something off.
“What’s wrong then? You can talk to me,” he tried to soothe you. Your eyes flickered down to his chest. He was still in his guard’s uniform.
When you didn’t reply, he gently lifted your chin up with his finger. “Baby?” He questioned quietly. You could tell how worried he was from the way his eyes grew, making him appear younger with his Bambi-eyes.
Your throat tightened when you thought about it all. From the way your heart no longer beat for him, to the way his ring no longer brought you comfort. After weeks of brushing it off, you were slowly coming to terms with your new feelings.
Every kiss with Hoseok erupted butterflies in your stomach, while kisses with Jungkook now felt… Lackluster.
His words in the garden haunted you as his stare burned into you.
“You’re scaring me, baby,” he murmured, not sure what to do.
You kept your eyes on his chest when you replied. “S-sorry. I just… I think… We should-”
You broke off your choppy sentence with a sigh. The words were like acid. You knew it was going to break him, which ultimately made you want to back out. You could lie to him. You could pretend everything was fine.
But that was wrong and selfish.
Jungkook has always treated you with the utmost care and devotion. He didn’t deserve to be strung along.
“Yn-”
“You’re so amazing,” you interrupted, eyes raising to his. He looked startled for a moment before a smile formed on his lips. He squeezed your hips and pulled you closer.
“You’re more amazing,” he said and pecked your lips again.
“T-thanks,” you answered awkwardly. You paused to gain courage. “I… I think you’re a great man. A man whose heart is too big for his chest. You’ve always been so supportive and you’ve made me feel so loved.”
Jungkook’s smile was faltering with every word you said. You dropped your eyes again, unable to see what you were doing to the man you once loved. He didn’t reply.
“You’ve taught me things that have made me a better person. You were the first man I ever truly loved and felt loved by. I’ll always appreciate that,” you continued and closed your eyes as you tried to recollect yourself. You could feel yourself on the verge of tears. The speech you had memorized was flashing behind your eyes, yet it did nothing to calm your nerves.
“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” He questioned, voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes met his. They were glossy, but his cheeks were dry. He was forcing himself to hold back his tears. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to make himself feel angry, but they quickly relaxed—replaced with dejection instead.
“You’ve been so good to me,” you answered, avoiding his question. You were hoping he would let it go, but you knew better. He wasn’t going to.
“Why the past tense? I’m going to continue being good to you, baby.” The pet name was said hesitantly. It was as if he could keep you tethered to him if he used the sweet name. If he used the word he was so accustomed to for you, it would make him feel more comfortable. Like nothing was wrong.
“I-I’m sure you would have been,” you said, wincing mentally at having used past tense again.
He stared at you silently. His eyes bounced from your somber face to your rigid body until his eyes caught on your hands. The only ring on your hands was Hoseok’s. Jungkook’s ring was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t on your right hand, where it usually was.
“You took it off,” he stated. If you could hear when a heart broke, you were sure you would’ve heard the sound now.
You tried to hide your hands behind your back, but Jungkook was quick to grab them. He lifted them up to his face as if his eyes were playing tricks with him. Surely it was still there.
“D-did you misplaced it? I won’t be mad if you did. It happens. I can get you anoth-”
“No, Jungkook. I didn’t misplace it.”
He swallowed harshly and slowly released your hands. Silenced loomed over the both of you as he stared at your hands. You involuntarily twisted Hoseok’s ring in nervousness as you waited for him to say something.
Although the huff was quiet, you could hear it loud and clear in the soundless room. “You’re choosing him over me?”
It was as if he had put all the puzzle pieces together. He looked up at your face still bowed. Like before, the flash of fury turned into anguish swiftly. His hands withdrew from your hips and he took a couple of steps away from you.
“You promised me,” he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. “Wh- Was it something I did?”
You finally met his eyes again. This time, his cheeks were wet. Your heart was heavy at the sight. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and rock him until he felt calm, but that wasn’t going to be possible. Not when you were the cause of such sorrow.
“You did nothing wrong, Jungkook,” you reassured. “It’s- I just… I don’t feel the same anymore.”
He quickly wiped a tear falling and he pursed his lips together. His chest was rising and falling faster than before. He tore his gaze from you and shoved his shaky hands into his pockets.
“D-do you still have the ring?” He stuttered, eyes still not meeting yours. You nodded but remembered he wasn’t looking at you.
“Yes.” You started to reach into your pocket where it was hidden since you figured he wanted it back, but your movements were stopped by his reply.
“Keep it.” A sharp sniffle sounded in the room and you watched as he rolled his shoulders back and stood up straighter. His eyes found yours. They were still flooded with woe, but there was something else in his eyes. Something akin to determination.
Before you could reply, he spoke again. “I won’t wait forever, but maybe, if for some miracle you decide to come back to me, I want you to have it with you already.”
He made his way towards you and your heart thumped with the prospect of him touching you again. Despite your fading feelings for Jungkook, something about his words elicited former feelings. However, when he reached past you to grab the door handle, you quickly realized you were simply in his way.
He observed you silently as you moved away. His stare lingered on your eyes, lips tugging into a frown.
“I hope you’re happy,” he said softly before pulling the door open and sliding out. His words held no malice. You knew he truly wanted you to find happiness.
As you watched him walk down the corridor, you couldn’t help but want to call out his name. There was no reason for it. You had nothing left to say and making him stay longer would just be torturing him.
Although your heart was gradually belonging to Hoseok, you couldn’t stop the feeling of Jungkook walking away with a piece of it.