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To Xiao, there is nothing more beautiful than a melody composed by the wind.
His lips pressed firm against the wood of his flute, he plays along.
The gentle sound flows against the breeze like silk. The wind listens and sings along, and Xiao can feel the presence of Mondstadt in his wake.
The smell of wine drifts into his nose and he winces, lifting his flute from his mouth.
Speaking logically, the Anemo Archon has absolutely no reason to interact with any being of Liyue.
Rex Lapis speaks of him from time to time, and Xiao wrinkles his nose in distaste at the stories of the supposed drunkard ruler of Mondstadt. His vision glows brighter mockingly as he scowls. How could such an incompetent being be given the time of day?
But Xiao cherishes the sound of his flute. He cherishes the taste of the wind, the fragrance of cecelias.
The music rinses Xiao of his karmic debt. He is cradled, gently, and told; “You are free. Dance not with demons, but to the sound of my lyre instead.”
He yearns for it. And it is dangerous, he knows, because he cannot have it.
But temptations are not merciful. The wind welcomes him, and he closes his eyes. The breeze’s touch is irresistible, and Xiao feels his resolve breaking as he leans into its gentle hand.
I want you, but I can never have you.
Not even the god of freedom can release Xiao from his chains, and he knows better than to hope for it.
But the wind beckons him still.
Play with me. It whispers. Brave warrior, take my hand and hear my flute, join the stars in their slumber.
“I have duties to perform.” Xiao says.
The presence behind him stills, listening.
“My battle is eternal, Barbatos. I can never be freed. I will fight until I meet my gruesome end. I cannot dance to your music with a mask and a spear; for I am merely a blade amongst olive branches, and I am far from dulling.”
The wind exhales. Xiao stiffens as the presence solidifies into something real, tangible.
Pale hands press against Xiao's cheeks, unharmed by his curse. Beauty lies against him, pristine like a flower even in the presence of his dark blade.
Xiao's eyes close and he leans into the touch, wishing it could stay forever. Alas, he knows even the purest form of beauty and innocence cannot last against his karmic debt.
But for a moment, he lets himself slip and fall into those delicate fingers. He lets himself taste freedom- taste the melodies he’d always wanted to hear.
Barbatos' heart is one of the most precious things in Teyvat, Xiao knows. It is whole and it is filling, and it is open to him.
“Your battle never goes unseen, my warrior.” He speaks. “Your sacrifices never go in vain. When the time comes, I want you to join with me. I will hold your soul dear. You will rest in meadows and starry skies once and for all, finally freed.”
“I will never be pure.”
“Purity is freedom of your demons, not your scars. Your demons will soon fade with the toll of eternity and your scars will heal. That is the natural order of the world.”
“There is nothing natural about the debt I endure.”
“The debt you endure lies profound into your spirit and is imprinted into your wellbeing. Your debt is not natural. Your debt is not pure. Yet your debt is not you. You can be free of debt.”
“Freedom is a dream that I will never reach, and hope for doing so only prolongs my pain.”
Barbatos looks at him sadly.
“There is no being on this earth incapable of freedom.”
“My freedom can only be temporary.”
“Your battle will not last forever.”
“Evil does not die.”
Barbatos brushes his thumb under Xiao's tired eyes.
“There is no reason you have to carry the burden on your own.”
“Who else will take my place? Rex Lapis is dead.”
“New beings will be born.”
“I would rather fight eternally than pass my suffering onto another soul.”
Xiao feels the gentle press of Barbatos' forehead on his own. There is hotness behind his own eyes, but he does not falter.
“Why can’t you just come be with me? Why do you have to be so selfless?”
“Why do you have to be so selfish?” Xiao responds, but there is no bite in his words.
“I miss your touch.”
“My touch will ruin your purity.”
“Do you think yourself so dangerous?”
“I have killed thousands.”
“I am a god.”
“You are something beautiful and tempting I cannot have.”
“Do you want me?”
Xiao doesn’t speak immediately. He knows the answer, from deep in his heart to the tips of his fingers, he knows it. But saying it out loud is dangerous for both of them, and he fears his self restraint will only weaken.
“It does not matter. I cannot have you.”
“I want you.” Barbatos' voice is tinged with desperation. “More than any melody. I want to show you Mondstadt, I want to play you songs. I want to show you freedom.”
I want that more than I've ever wanted anything.
“I am bound to Liyue, Barbatos.” Xiao's eyes are half open as he reciprocates the archon’s touch. There is a part of him that seems to break in pieces when tears start streaming down freckled cheeks.
“Kiss me.” Barbatos cries. “If I truly cannot show you freedom, let me play you a song instead.”
Xiao knows he should not listen to the archon’s wishes, nor does he have to. But his heart still shines beneath the fog of his curse, and it tugs him in the direction of the wind as it always has. Like a string of fate, tied together and impossible to sever.
Xiao presses his lips on the archon’s, and he feels it immediately. Barbatos is pulling his face closer, but nearly all sensations are drowned out by the thrumm of beautiful music threading through his soul, pushing out his karmic debt and filling him with euphoric fullness. Barbatos plays his heartstrings like a lyre, pouring all his emotions and yearning into Xiao like a warm syrupy drink.
Xiao never wants to let go.
And when he is forced to, there is empty space in front of him. He waits for the karmic debt to take over his body like a wave, but it never comes.
Xiao uncurls his fist to a freshly picked cecilia, somehow still in tact. The sight of the white flower causes a feeling of melancholy to stir where euphoria had once been. They would meet again, he knew. Whether or not it would be soon was a question he could not answer. He still feels the wet of Barbatos' tears on his cheeks. The wind stirs, washing over him like a refreshing bath, and for the first time in years;
Xiao smiles.
He has never felt at peace, but he assumed this was the closest he’d ever get. The hum of the music still plays in the back of his mind, and the scent of wine lingers.
I may never be free as you wish for me to be. I may never be able to reside next to you. But I can promise you, Barbatos, with all of the heart and soul I have left, I love you. And I will cherish you even if my debt consumes me whole.
You are a light, and a release in my eternal darkness. Alas, I cannot get accustomed to being around you often. You are beautiful, and I am baneful. You would fade eventually, and if that happens, I will never forgive myself.
I am bound to Rex Lapis, and my body, mind, and spirit will forever be grateful to him. I will serve him until my last breath.
But I will love you until I have no more love to give.
His karmic debt would inevitably push back in later, but Xiao knew he had to cherish these moments of gentleness while they lasted. He already feels the tune Barbatos had played slipping from him.
Taking a deep breath, he lifts his flute to his mouth once again, and begins to play.