Work Text:
Riiggggggght, I see what’s happening here
You’re face-to-face with strangeness and it’s great
That you’d rather fight than accept it
It’s commendable
Who wants this creepy weird stuff on their plate
To set the scene, I’ll begin
Name’s Crowley, yeah, from the original sin
I know the lot, the ghouls, the gods,
And their screwing with you poor sods
What can I say except you’re welcome
To do a better job of it on your own
Hey, it’s okay, go slay, you’re welcome
I’d rather be crashed out at home!
What has two thumbs and fell from the sky
Before you were waddling yay high? This guy
Who let mortals go despite orders from below?
You’re looking at him, yo!
Once I go out, get some sun, you’re welcome
To turn full O.K Corral, have your fun
While I’m off enjoying the breeze, you’re welcome
To do whatever the hell it is you please
So what should I say except you’re welcome
To launch this whole mess straight into the sea
Please don’t pray, it’s okay, you’re welcome
Hey, you can even pin it all on me
Now come to think of it
Man, seriously, this has gone on and on
Such whack supernatural phenomenon
Bunyips, kelpies, hellhounds
And don’t get me started when those can’t be found
Needed a holiday
Energy here’s nuts
Came for a spell, now it’s all ducks
What’s the lesson? What is the takeaway?
Don’t mess with Crowley when he wants to snake away
And the tattoos here on my skin
From when I was thrown in the bin
But I wouldn’t change how anything happened
Look at that mean mini Crowley just snikkity snekking
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, say
Anyway, yee-hey, it’s cliche, but you’re welcome
To stay distracted so this place won’t blow
I’m reversing away, en français, pas de souci,
As traffic wardens would say, I don’t move slow
Enough cabaret, don’t dismay, you’re welcome
Smoothed it out so no one gets smote
I’m swaying away, away, you’re welcome
‘Cause villains are best when they gloat
You’re welcome
And screw you