Archive of Our Own ^beta

Magic Island was, in a sense, a club like any other. Standing near the main boulevard, where the two main roads connected and where hundreds of thousands of people passed every day, it had a huge clientele of young people. Drinks were poured in gallons and served to those with visibly fake IDs, the music was loud enough to drown out all the sounds inappropriate for such public place.

It was a sinful spot that people would turn their heads away from during the day, but it didn’t really matter – as soon as the clock hit 5:53pm, nothing mattered. The beginning of Blue Hour, club’s program, was signalized by the neon sign turning from ashy gray to bright cerulean and just like a regular lamp lures in moths, such glare had the same effect on everyone around.

And one of the everyone – a man. A man who turned the corner, hair too pink with light blue and yellow extensions, boots with high heels that made his legs too long, his overall appearance and voice too striking. That’s who Choi Yeonjun was, always has been. He’s got too many too’s and that’s probably why you’d expect him to be the main character of this story.

But just as Choi Yeonjun reached the door to Magic Island, he stopped in his tracks. Because about ten meters behind him – another man.

“Beomgyu, move your ass a little, the Blue Hour started two minutes ago!”

The significant thing about the club’s program and what made it different from the other night clubs in the city was the main event that lasted only for thirty minutes at most – from the sunset until the sky turned indigo and until the stars came in and so desperately tried and failed to outshine the never leaving smog, a side effect of wild city life. Needless to say, Choi Beomgyu was not impressed.

Choi Beomgyu, the actual main character of this story, was your ordinary college junior majoring in music production, who somewhen in his sophomore year realized just how different studying music theory is from the simple joys of learning how to play a new instrument or getting a guitar riff to Nirvana’s Come As You Are right for the first time. However, since he was already half-way through and the degree seemed just in his reach, he stayed.

So now, at the age of bittersweet twenty-one, Beomgyu spent most of his weekends at the studio working on producing this or that beat for this or that class or at the campus café where he took the night shifts cause really, no one wanted those and college life was expensive – and honestly, it wasn’t bad.

Well, it was bad but as long as Beomgyu didn’t have to think about all the people his age who didn’t have to worry about the number of Italian words in music theory, he could manage, was okay even. Unfortunately for him, Yeonjun was one of the people but also his best friend of six years, so he couldn’t really say no whenever he came to his dorm room on Friday night to pull him out of his blanket cocoon and force him to go out and have fun.

See now – the issue.

The issue was that unlike the music theory where every term had its exact definition, the word fun seemed to be just… just a word, really, a concept everybody saw differently.

In Beomgyu’s eyes – a night spent by pondering about what to make for breakfast the next morning, knowing he’ll wake up well past two in the afternoon anyway.

In Yeonjun’s eyes – Magic Island.

And again, Beomgyu couldn’t say anything as both were a form of escapism in its core. And Yeonjun fit into Magic Island well because there were people who’ve never heard the word ritenuto and people who also had too many too’s. Beomgyu had only one!

Which was too fed up with Yeonjun, actually. “I am coming, god, you’re insufferable.”

“Insufferable… that’s a new one, they usually just call me cute,” he laughed it off, happily ignoring the distrustful expression on Beomgyu’s face. Yeonjun then grabbed him by the sleeve and reaching for the doorknob, he looked over his shoulder to give his companion one last bright smile. “You promised to stay for the main event, so I guess it’d be a waste to spend it outside, right?”

And if the late summer air were hot and if the center of the city were busy – Beomgyu really didn’t know how to describe the atmosphere inside. It wasn’t his first time clubbing but he’s certainly never been to a club like this.

First impression was – it was dark. With no windows and no lighting, it took Beomgyu five blinks to realize that the only source of light were glow stick bracelets everyone wore on their wrists, around their necks and in their hair and the glow in the dark body paint that highlighted the other features such as collar bones, and eyes and oh, Beomgyu definitely saw a man with a neon green dick on his calf just now.

It took Beomgyu another five blinks to realize Yeonjun was no longer holding his forearm and that he was simply gone. That fucker. He was already sending a mental farewell to his friend, the crowd was too big for him to find the older, when he felt a tug on his shirt.

At first, it was subtle, unsure even. And then it was harsh, a person making him turn around and-

There were only about twenty-seven minutes of Blue Hour left when Beomgyu felt his heart skip a beat.

“Play along, please.”

There were only about twenty-six minutes and fifty-seven seconds of Blue Hour left when Beomgyu got dragged forward by his collar and when his lips collided with the lips of a stranger in front of him. It was fast, too fast for Beomgyu to comprehend, but it was there, and it felt like electricity and the oh so needed light in the darkness of the club and he had a question or two but nothing came out of his mouth when he opened it.

And the worst thing was that the guy seemed to be completely unphased, as if it were normal, he looked around anxiously for a long second before his big doe eyes, visibly calmed down, finally laid back on Beomgyu. This time, observant.

Beomgyu squirmed under the gaze, but he didn’t have it in him to ask the stranger to stop staring as he was kind of staring too or tried to stare as much as the darkness allowed him to. Which was actually quite a lot, he noticed, when his eyes stumbled upon the great amount of glowing bracelets and paint all over his body. On his cheeks were two glowing pink hearts that reflected in his eyes beautifully and such glow made Beomgyu see his own self in the eyes of the stranger, dark and only illuminated by the colours of the others around and–

The guy’s hands went straight for his neck, gentle. His fingers, nails covered in neon yellow polish, slowly danced from his jawline to his chin, from his chin to his lips, from his lips to his cheekbones, from his cheekbones to the bridge of his nose and landing on Beomgyu’s temples, the stranger smiled. All teeth, shocking Beomgyu once again with how bright one person can be.

“I knew you were a cutie,” and for such loud exclamation, the tone was too intimate. There it was, exactly what Beomgyu was talking about – Magic Island was filled with people with too many too’s.

Too bright, too bold, too intimate. Beomgyu felt like passing out but knowing he wouldn’t be able to ever recover from such embarrassment, he ignored the feeling for now. He wanted to ignore the compliment too, for good measure, but his brain to mouth filter has never really worked the way he wanted it to.

“You can’t even see me, it’s too dark.”

“I can’t,” the stranger admitted, fingers leaving Beomgyu’s face to reach for something in his pocket, “but I can feel you.”

A small tub with orange paint, Beomgyu realized. There were twenty-four minutes of Blue Hour left when the stranger’s finger dipped in the paint and without any question, he started dragging his now wet finger across his cheeks. Not drawing – writing. “It’s your first time here, isn’t it?”

Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows only for the guy to run his finger all the way up to his forehead, soothing the newly appeared wrinkles. “Am I that obvious?”

“To be honest, quite a bit, yeah,” he hummed. “You see, when you kiss a person during the Blue Hour, you have to give each other one of your bracelets. But since you don’t have any, that leaves just me in the position of giving and not receiving anything. What a cruel world… Well, I’ll let it slide this time, since you’re so pretty.”

Beomgyu scoffed, thanking all the stars in the sky, for the darkness of the club hid his red cheeks and any other signs of flush. “I didn’t ask to be kissed, actually. That’s on you.”

“Hm, right, my fault, sorry about doing it so suddenly. This creepy guy has been following me for a hot minute and I wanted to get rid of him,” he clicked his tongue and satisfied with his work on Beomgyu’s face, he stepped back a little. “There you go. Much better.”

At twenty-two minutes left, Beomgyu smiled. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, and the bracelet, I almost forgot,” reciprocating the smile, the stranger examined his forearms covered in glow sticks, basically hiding any sight of actual skin.

“You’ve kissed that many?” the question slipped unintentionally, Beomgyu didn’t want the stranger to think he cared or anything like that. When he looked up with a slight smirk, Beomgyu waved his hand even though the other would’ve never been able to see. “I mean, just how much time do you spend here?”

“A lot, really,” in that moment, Beomgyu hated himself a bit for wishing it was an answer to the latter question, hated himself for asking in the first place anyway. What was it – don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to? Yeah. “I’m here like… every Friday, sometimes Monday and Wednesday, too. Depends on my time-table.”

Nineteen minutes left. “Oh. You study?”

“Mhm, I do,” without any further elaboration, the man simply unclasped one of the bracelets – same colour he earlier painted Beomgyu’s face with – and reconnected the two ends again, this time around Beomgyu’s wrist. “Alright, we’re even. Kind of.”

“Do you want me to return it to you someday? Or do I just keep it forever?”

Eighteen minutes left. The guy chuckled. “Well, that’s on you, isn’t it? Maybe one day, in one way or another, it’ll come back to me. Who knows. Now, we’ve wasted enough time talking, do you want to dance with me?”

“Ah. I don’t dance.” Which was a lie, clearly a lie, Beomgyu has been taking dance classes for over three years now, but it was getting too much.

“I didn’t ask if you dance or not. I asked if you want to dance. I can lead.”

The big doe eyes pinned him to the floor, to this tiny place of the parquet his feet covered, and he was about to use it as his second excuse – you make my legs too stiff to move anyway – but it was a lucky night for Beomgyu. Just as he looked around, he spotted a mop of familiar pink hair.

“I-I should probably go and get my friend over there,” Beomgyu pointed to where Yeonjun danced with a fluorescent blue drink in his hand, seemingly for nothing – the guy’s eyes never moved from where they glared holes into Beomgyu’s cheeks.

“Alright then.”

“See you?” Beomgyu tried, but the stranger didn’t say anything else. He simply smiled and shrugged. That’s on you – he heard again.

And so, at fifteen minutes left, the guy rejoined the crowd of dancing bodies. Beomgyu watched the blonde head for few more seconds until he completely lost the sight of him and then finally moved forward to where Yeonjun talked to a slightly taller man now.

“ – a microwave! He put the whole pigeon in the microwave, Soobin! I swear, you find all kinds of people at dance camps,” the guy – Soobin, probably – laughed loudly to the point where he had to put his hand on Yeonjun’s shoulder to ground himself.

Which – Beomgyu thought – a bullshit. Yeonjun wasn’t even that funny. Beomgyu rolled his eyes, unimpressed, and finally tugged at his friend’s sleeve. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Yeonjun turned around, his eyes brightening innocently. “Ah, my lovely underclassman! Man, what a night, right? I thought I’d never see you again when you disappeared!” he smiled and reached for Beomgyu’s cheeks, examining the paint before his grin widened. “What happened?”

“Oh, nothing big, you know,” Beomgyu said sarcastically. “As soon as you left me, a dude kissed me, painted my face and I made myself look like a complete idiot. Now, if you and your company excuse me, I’ll be going back to campus and reconsider all my life decisions that led to this moment.”

“Wait, Gyu!” just as he was leaving, Yeonjun wrapped his fingers around his forearm, right above the place where the bracelet shone proudly. The pause afterwards was concerned, apologetic even, and Beomgyu has always been a weak man, feeling his shoulders lose the tension, he gently wriggled out of Yeonjun’s grip. A simple gesture to show he was fine, not mad at anyone in particular.

Still, Yeonjun tilted his head, not 100% convinced. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, it’s okay, I could use some alone time, really. I’ll text you.”

Then, giving Yeonjun no space to raise any more objections, Beomgyu said his goodbyes to both men and dived back into the crowd. Heading towards the door, he didn’t look for the stranger, shut up.

There were twelve minutes of Blue Hour left when Beomgyu pushed the door and, seemingly for the first time in past fifteen minutes, took a breath in.

It was raining so by the time Beomgyu reached the dorm and his room, he was drenched from head to toes, small puddles creating at his feet when he stood in one place for too long. He sighed to himself and taking the key out of his pocket, he unlocked the door.

Fortunately, his roommate Hueningkai, wasn’t there. And so, as soon as he closed the door behind, he let his weary body slide against the hard surface, let his head fall back with a loud thud.

Later that night, when Beomgyu finally found the strength in him to get up, he went to bathroom to wash his face. For the first time since the evening when he was getting ready, he saw his face in the mirror. On his cheeks, in slightly washed-out orange paint, still readable three syllables.

귀여워. Cute. Beomgyu turned off the lights and went straight to his bed.

“Okay, let me sum it up again.”

“Please, don’t. I really don’t want to hear it from you for the fourth time,” Beomgyu groaned. Not for the first time today and obviously not for the last time either, because Yeonjun was clearly enjoying the situation at the table. Scratch that, he was enjoying any type of Beomgyu’s misery. That’s what you get for calling the pink haired boy a best friend. It wasn’t fair.

“No, cause. Really. Last night, I was genuinely worried about you and for what? About what? About a boy clearly showing signs of being into you? Come on,” Yeonjun bit the straw of his boba tea and furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. “I don’t see the issue.”

“The issue is that I am not gay, hyung,” another groan slipped past his lips, it was an involuntary reaction at this point, the Yeonjun effect, as he liked to call it.

“You aren’t?”

“I never said I was in the first place, what the fuck?”

“I just,” Yeonjun picked up the straw, pointing unceremoniously at Beomgyu’s whole being. As if it said enough. It didn’t. Beomgyu raised his eyebrows confusedly, making Yeonjun click his tongue. “I mean, look at you. No straight man should be allowed to look like this.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment before you have the opportunity to turn it into something offensive, so – thanks? But it’s not like I’d say I’m completely this or that, I… I never really thought about it, you know? Dating preferences and all that stuff.”

“That’s fine, you don’t have to use labels. You know your feelings best, in the end.”

“The thing – the thing is, I don’t? Maybe I’m overreacting, but for the first time in my life, I really felt like someone took the breath straight out of my lungs.”

“Well. Did you tell the guy before you kissed him?”

“I wasn’t the one who kissed him, he kissed me! And I didn’t, obviously, I told you already that it just kind of happened,” running a hand through his hair, Beomgyu looked at his own drink. It was easier than looking at Yeonjun’s smug face. “It wasn’t really a kiss, more of a peck if anything. Just a touch.”

“Just a touch,” Yeonjun repeated as he leaned against the table. “Didn’t he mention that he’s in Magic Island often? You could go and see him again and maybe talk some more.”

“Yeah, or I could start playing Animal Crossing since it came in my mail today,” Beomgyu suggested and then smiled as a signal of closing the topic. “What about you though, who was the guy from yesterday?”

Yeonjun blushed! He blushed and if there really were billions of universes, Beomgyu for sure knew that there was none, not one, where he would let it simply slide. The shift of embarrassment, the exchange of roles – Beomgyu was going to thoroughly enjoy this, he smirked. “Oh?”

“Shut up. The guy actually has a name and unlike you and your boy, I know it – Choi Soobin,” Yeonjun scoffed, trying to hide the red tint in his cheeks by brushing his hair more into his face. “I actually found out he goes to our school, he’s in your year. Architecture major.”

“Sounds… fun?”

“No, it’s actually pretty interesting, he knows like, all types of architectural styles like baroque and classicism and stuff and he showed me some pictures of buildings from Europe when he walked me home and– okay, maybe it’s not that interesting, but he looked cute while explaining it to me, so who am I to complain.”

“Walked you home, hm?” Beomgyu wiggled his eyebrow and took a loud sip from his drink. The blush on the other’s face even deepened. Oh, this was good. Too good.

“Excuse me, Soobin is a very polite man,” Yeonjun said dramatically, touching his chest to emphasize the offense at whatever dirty indication the younger was making. Beomgyu couldn’t help the ugly snort, making him choke. “See, serves you right, dumbass. Inhale a tapioca and die for all I care.”

It wasn’t long before Beomgyu started coughing out the contents of his mouth and if he purposely spat one ball of boba, so it hit Yeonjun right in the face – well. It’s not like Yeonjun wouldn’t pay him back as he picked up his straw again and blew his bobas straight through it, made sure all of them landed in Beomgyu’s hair, too.

And so after that, Beomgyu went on about his day as if yesterday didn’t happen. Visited the studio in the afternoon, helped his underclassmen with assignments, cause really, especially freshmen year works have been a pain in the ass to him when he was in their position, then grabbed a dinner at the campus’ Chinese booth and after some thinking, decided to take one more serving, too.

Which proved itself to be a good idea, because when he got back to his dorm room, the door was unlocked, and unmistakeable loud shrieking could be heard along with another voice. Beomgyu sighed, a fond smile on his lips, as he pushed the door and was greeted by the sight of his roommate splayed on bed and dramatically slamming the game console, while the other boy – Beomgyu saw him for the first time – in a contradiction, sat almost comically calm right next to him, barely making any movement other than with his thumbs that skilfully moved around the buttons.

Beomgyu stole a quick glance at the screen. Hueningkai’s character was way behind, his favourite Mario Kart avatar, Peach, occupying the eleventh place while on the other side of the split screen, Morton was already well past the finish line.

“Come on, Kai, at least try to not finish last,” the guy snickered and bumped his knee with Hueningkai’s in encouragement.

And wait, Beomgyu stopped in his tracks as he put the take-out down on the kitchen counter. The voice did sound a bit familiar.

It’s not like Hueningkai didn’t bring his friends to their apartment – the opposite, actually, which was perhaps the reason why Beomgyu had such trouble with remembering all the faces and names of people who occasionally came over. There were too many of them. Beomgyu looked at the screen one more time when Hueningkai finally finished the race with a defeated cry.

Taehyun, read the username of the boy. Taehyun… No, Beomgyu for sure has never met anyone named Taehyun before. Repeating the name over and over in his head, he pulled open the cutlery drawer and with a fork and the box of noodles, finally came over to the two guys.

“I brought you dinner,” Beomgyu interrupted Hueningkai’s sulking with a gentle shoulder tap and watched as the younger turned his head, all signs of depression gone out of his eyes with the mention of food.

“Ahh, what did you get?”

“Chinese, it’s in the kitchen,” he hummed and smiled again when Hueningkai excitedly clapped and got up with the words You’re a saint, hyung, I was literally just craving spring rolls!. But that meant Beomgyu was now left alone with Taehyun, who has been staring at him since he sat down on his own bed, opposite to Hueningkai’s.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting a visit today, else I would’ve gotten something for you, too. Do you want a dumpling?”

For a second, it seemed like Taehyun wouldn’t answer but in the end, he simply shook his head and leaned against the wall behind him. “No, it’s fine, thank you though. Kamal told me you weren’t supposed to be here today so… yeah, if I knew you’d come, I would’ve announced my visit. By the way, we haven’t met yet, have we? My name is Kang Taehyun, it’s nice meeting you.”

“I’m Choi Beomgyu, it’s nice meeting you, too,” Beomgyu got out of himself between chewing but when Hueningkai came back, he furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean I wasn’t supposed to be here today?”

“Huh?” Hueningkai hummed, mouth full of food already. When the question dawned on him, he shrugged. “I talked to Yeonjunnie-hyung at lunch and he said you were going to Magic Island with him again today. Or something like that.”

“Well, you could’ve just asked me instead. I told him this morning that I won’t be going,” absentmindedly, he glanced at the unopened Nintendo switch on his bedside table.

“You go there often? To Magic Island, I mean,” Taehyun suggested, leaning on his elbows.

“It was my first time yesterday. The last time probably, too. Not a fan of clubbing, you know,” maybe, if Beomgyu knew Taehyun was the type of person that never lost a staring contest, he wouldn’t have made an eye contact with the boy in the first place. Because for some reason, looking away felt humiliating.

Hueningkai, sensing the strange atmosphere, clapped his hands again. “Since there’s three of us now, how about we do a little Mario Kart competition? Whoever wins, gets to choose what we do next, how about that?”

Beomgyu was, by nature, pretty competitive but the prize really had to be bigger than just picking another activity. He’d pass. He’d say no and go downstairs to the common room that was always empty on Saturday nights and start playing Animal Crossing–

“What, are you that afraid of losing, Beomgyu-ssi?” Taehyun offered a lopsided grin and it was a trap. A stupid one, actually, Taehyun was so stupid for thinking knowing Beomgyu for less than ten minutes provided him with enough knowledge on how to rile him up.

That’s why Beomgyu’s next words surprised Beomgyu himself the most. “Pass me the controller.”

By the time they finished playing, it was already well past two o’clock. Beomgyu and Taehyun both blamed it on Hueningkai, who cheated his way through at least three races, therefore they had to arrange rematches. Hueningkai lost most of those and called the game a fraud – so they played more and more, until they all agreed on declaring Beomgyu the winner.

More like Taehyun politely gave the title to Beomgyu since their win to lose ratio was 7:8 and Hueningkai had no objections as he’s been dozing off on Beomgyu’s shoulder for the past twenty minutes anyway.

“We could play one last game, the winner takes it all,” Beomgyu picked up the controllers left on their coffee table and waved one right in front of Taehyun.

Taehyun considered it and Beomgyu would later not admit it, but he actually found himself desperate for the boy’s presence. Later, he’d say it’s because with Hueningkai being such a cheater, one can barely ever have a proper game against him. While Taehyun was, generally speaking, good at Mario Kart, he was sly and used his items well and he was smart and mainly, he knew all the maps as if playing the game was the only thing he ever did.

He was a difficult opponent and so, Beomgyu’s heart dropped a little when Taehyun checked his watch and shook his head. “I should be getting back, it’s really late now.”

“I can walk you to your dorm afterwards, so you don’t have to go alone?”

Taehyun looked up and tilting his head, he smiled. All teeth, a genuine smile. “Do you really want me to stay so bad?”

“Yes,” Beomgyu said blatantly, putting the controller in Taehyun’s lap and ignoring the startled expression as he adjusted the new race. “Come on, you have nothing to lose, I’m the one putting my pride on stake.”

Taehyun hummed and taking the controller, he shifted in his place so his back now touched the wall. He was also a bit closer to Beomgyu than before, he noticed, when the younger boy’s elbow rested just above his thigh, their sides basically touching. “Good to know that your pride is fragile enough for it to be shattered by a loss in Mario Kart.”

“Oh, shut up, as if I’d lose.”

Taehyun giggled as he pressed the play as well, thumbs already moving above the buttons to have a head start.

Beomgyu was the one who ended up being second, close behind Taehyun, who leaned a bit too much into Beomgyu during one of the last turns, causing him to almost bump into the barrier. He would’ve found many other excuses than admitting to getting flustered but there was no need for it – Taehyun didn’t tease him at all. Just as the monitor turned black, he simply stretched his limbs and looked at Beomgyu over his long arms.

“Are we going then?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, let me just,” leaving his sentence unfinished, Beomgyu picked up the fluffy blanket thrown over his own bed and when he made sure Hueningkai was lying comfortably, he tucked him in along with his plushie. Taehyun watched his demeanor with a gentle smile, putting on his own coat and boots.

The night air was cold, the sky surprisingly clear enough to show occasional lost stars, the street lamps, framing every pavement on the campus, flickered – Beomgyu declared it a beautiful night as he hid his face in the collar of his fleece jacket, the wind ruffling his hair.

“So… where do you live?” he said when the silence was stretching for too long, Taehyun wordlessly leading them.

“You know where’s the atelier, right?” Beomgyu hummed in affirmation. “Right across is the dorm house number seven, that’s where I live.”

“Oh, so you’re majoring in Fine Art, I suppose?”

“Minoring,” Taehyun corrected, “it’s more of a hobby, really. I do Acting.”

“The theatre is closer to my dorm than yours though, why do you live so far away then?”

Taehyun chuckled. “Curious, are we? I guess I’d rather live somewhere closer, but I like the house number seven. My roommate is also nice. It’s not like I have anything to complain about.”

“It’s not like we can complain, anyway,” Beomgyu laughed dryly in this strange empathic humor of college students – Taehyun looked up at him with the same kind of bitter smile. It was a beautiful night. “How is Acting though?”

“It’s alright. I mean, it’s fun, you get to be a whole different person for a certain period of time and you get paid for it, too. The people in the field are quite interesting and mostly easy to work with, I was surprised with the amount of diversity that comes with this major. Like, you never meet the same kind of person twice – I guess that makes sense with how we’re all used to dissemble.”

“Seems exhausting,” it slipped, Beomgyu didn’t mean to actually say that but now Taehyun stopped in his tracks and god, he’s looking at him questioning, head tilted and an unreadable curve to his lips – whatever it was, it made Beomgyu stop as well. “It is, isn’t it? Tiring. I see it in myself, the constant pretending to be someone else and I’m not even an actor. Don’t you sometimes feel like losing yourself in the amount of roles you play? Never mind, you don’t have to actually answer, it’s a personal question.”

Beomgyu watched Taehyun tentatively, looking for a sign of more than just a blank thoughtful look. He watched him and decided for one – they’re not compatible, Taehyun took too long to say anything, he always thought of the right words, so unlike of Beomgyu. In the end, Taehyun shrugged and started walking again, making Beomgyu follow unsurely.

“I don’t mind answering, you can ask personal questions, if you want.” But he didn’t give an actual answer, Beomgyu thought exasperatedly. They didn’t say a word for the rest of their walk.

Only when they finally reached the building with the brass number seven on its door, did Taehyun meet Beomgyu’s eyes again. “Thanks for walking with me.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“See you around?” Beomgyu nodded, but Taehyun was already showing his back to him as he searched his jeans pocket for keys. Well. It’s not like it mattered, right?

Friday evening came again in a flash and since Hueningkai went to visit his parents for the weekend, Beomgyu was left alone in their apartment. He didn’t mind it much, splayed on his bed with the Nintendo switch in hands, he felt quite content, really. The Animal Crossing evening music and his neighbors talking dimly next door were the only things that could be heard.

That was until his phone buzzed above his head. Beomgyu turned his head to look at the display with a strange feeling of anticipation – it got quickly replaced with a simple smile as he noticed the text from Hueningkai.

ningie [5:01pm]: got homemade kimchi from mum!!

beomgyu [5:02pm]: sounds yummy, save some for me?

ningie [5:02pm]: of course, silly, wouldn’t have texted you if i didn’t want to share
ningie [5:02pm]: how are you tho, everything good??

Beomgyu hesitated for a minute after typing out the message, his right thumb stopping just above the send button. He definitely heard something just now. Mentally counting to ten, he waited for the sound to come back while at the same time, he was convincing himself that it could’ve just been from next door or the room above his. But it came back, this weird knocking like noise coming from his window.

He reluctantly got up and truly – under his window stood Yeonjun, left hand full of pebble while the right hand was ready to shoot again. Beomgyu rolled his eyes, opening the window, a subconscious smile on his lips as he did so. It was just so Yeonjun. “Good evening, may I help you?”

Yeonjun cleared his throat, something mischievous in the way he tried hard to keep his face straight. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel… Oh, Rapunzel! Let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair!”

Beomgyu snorted, amused with the situation at hand. “What do you want?”

“Only the best for my prince, love!” with a hand on his chest and all, Yeonjun exclaimed loudly – too loudly as Beomgyu could hear other occupants of the house open their windows to look at the man causing ruckus. “Tonight, under the beautiful sunset, I have a proposal to make. We have places to be, people to see, darling! Tonight… oh, such a pretty evening, won’t you come down and bless me with your beauty, such competing with the beauty of the sky?”

Feeling his cheeks getting warmer, Beomgyu hid his face in his hands, groaning. “Alright, alright. Jeez, the door is open, just come inside already.”

The last thing Beomgyu saw was Yeonjun pumping his fist in the air before he happily skipped to the dorm entrance. He then, with a sigh, turned off his Switch, well knowing what’s about to come and that he won’t be playing anymore tonight. You can’t blame him though, he’s a weak person.

And exactly as he predicted, in less than a minute, the door opened fiercely with a loud thud when it hit the wall. In the doorframe stood Yeonjun, glittery jacket, skinny jeans and at least ten glow sticks around his neck.

“No,” Beomgyu said before Yeonjun even had the chance to open his mouth, effectively making him pout.

“Please, come on! Do you really think staying inside is better than going out with me?”

“In a sense, yes, I do? You weren’t even with me the last time we went out!”

Yeonjun scoffed. “That’s all in the past, that was past Yeonjun, I’m a new person today.” He then looked around the room to find anything to back up his point when his eyes stumbled upon the hanger hanging on the open door of Beomgyu’s wardrobe. On it – a whole outfit consisting of washed-out jeans, a white long-sleeved shirt and a denim vest. He smirked. “Oh?”

“Shut up, that’s for Tuesday’s theatre play. Kai wants to go support his friends,” Beomgyu mumbled, taking the clothes out of Yeonjun’s sight.

“A theatre play, you’re saying.”

“Yes. On campus. There are flyers everywhere, I doubt you don’t know about it.”

“You’re not really into theatre, though.”

“Well,” Beomgyu stole a quick glance at his phone, left on the bed, “I’m trying new things.”

“B-but how about doing something new with your bestie?” Yeonjun pouted again and honestly, it was pretty impressive how quickly he was able to change his expression and even if Beomgyu knew it was a simple act, resisting was hard.

“We went to Magic Island together last week, it’s not new if I’ve done it already.”

“I haven’t said a word about going to Magic Island though?” and crap, Beomgyu really just fell into the trap like that, huh? Yeonjun slowly pushed the outfit closer to Beomgyu’s chest and winked, aware of the victory at the tips of his fingers, almost, just almost his.

“I am not going.”

Magic Island was particularly busy tonight. Yeonjun hurriedly explained that today’s Blue Hour was supposed to be the longest since Magic Island was founded and that was apparently the reason why the entire city decided to go clubbing, Beomgyu thought bitterly, when they stood in front of the door, the noise even more overwhelming than a week ago.

“What even happens at the end of Blue Hour? Like hyung, I doubt the club closes at seven o’clock. Why is everyone so crazy about coming here during the main event?”

“Stay until it ends this time, and you’ll see,” to which Beomgyu had a good remark – No, I won’t see, it’s too dark inside – but it’s left unspoken, Yeonjun already dragging him inside as if he were nothing but a rag doll.

Beomgyu took a deep breath before diving into the darkness but it’s no use, the atmosphere stole all the air out of his lungs yet again. On their way here, Beomgyu thought about how it won’t have the same effect, because he’s already seen it once – oh, how wrong he was. The place felt even hotter, noisier, darker and his head was spinning.

It was too much. Beomgyu’s eyes tried to adapt to the darkness, his legs carried him through the crowd ever so carefully so he doesn’t fall, his skin buzzed with excitement, every cell in his body alarmed at the loud music. Too much.

What he appreciated though was that when he finally saw enough to identify his hand, there were still Yeonjun’s fingers wrapped above his wrist, under the neon orange bracelet. A quick thought passed his mind – Is he here today? – but there was no time to think any further, Yeonjun was already leaning to his ear.

“You want a drink?” he shouted over the music, making Beomgyu grin at the absurdity that the loudest person he knew was still short when it came to Magic Island’s speakers.

“Sure, let’s go get something!”

Drinking was safe, drinking was fine, Beomgyu thought, and so that’s how he ended up sitting in one of the club booths, next to him Yeonjun, in front of him glowing pink cocktail. He had no idea what was inside of his glass, but it tasted of cherries and didn’t feel strong, so he was satisfied. Yeonjun was talking about his dance classes and this big performance that was coming up in two months and honestly, it was nice.

Safe for the fact that he couldn’t get the stranger from last time out of his head. Beomgyu tried to not think about it, he really did, but every time a person passed them by, he couldn’t help but look up. He didn’t even know what the guy really looked like, so he searched for anything – bright smile, painted nails, small figure, anything.

That’s when he spot a flash of blue hair in the crowd. He hasn’t been listening to the last thirty seconds of Yeonjun’s monologue, so he didn’t exactly feel bad when he elbowed Yeonjun. “Isn’t that Soobin over there?”

And with the mention of the boy, Yeonjun seemed to not mind the interuption either, his head trying to follow the outline of Beomgyu’s pointing finger. When his eyes finally laid on Soobin, Beomgyu knew he smiled – he could hear it in his voice. “Oh, right, it is. I can go over and invite him to our booth, if you don’t mind.”

“No, hyung, don’t. Just go and dance with him.”

Yeonjun turned his head, trying to examine Beomgyu’s face. No use. “Really? I don’t want to leave you alone again.”

“Yes, really. I can manage by myself for now and we can meet up later, okay?” he was already pushing Yeonjun out of the booth, feeling himself smile. “I also don’t want to be a third wheel for the whole evening, I’d rather be alone.”

Yeonjun’s laugh rang through the club or maybe it was just Beomgyu focusing on the sound of it too much, but if the older said anything else – he didn’t hear it, Yeonjun already on his feet and making his way through the crowd of sweaty bodies. Beomgyu watched his best friend until the moment he stood next to the silhouette of the other boy and then he finally leaned back, a loud exhale escaping his mouth as he closed his eyes.

He noticed that in a place that basically took his sight, his other senses became more advanced. He inhaled – smelt the cherries of his drink, sweat and his cologne. He licked his lips – tasted more cherries and mint bubblegum. He vented out the loud music – heard a person laugh, heard some distant words.

He smelt, he tasted, he heard and he couldn’t stop feeling, he couldn’t stop finding new sensations, new details to focus on and then, then – warmth by his left side, consuming him whole with how vibrant and how strong it was compared to other subtle things he focused on so far. Beomgyu’s head was spinning again.

“You can open your eyes, your wish has been fulfilled – I’m here,” a voice. Beomgyu obeyed but his sight was even worse from having his eyes closed for so long. How long was it since Yeonjun left? A second? A minute? An hour? Time felt weird now.

He kept silent, the words feeling too meaningless and just – just when did Beomgyu become the subject in this too much too’s phenomenon?

Perhaps, the person sensed it because they took their hand and found Beomgyu’s. Feeling warm, feeling so warm, bony, a little sweaty but so nice. They then carefully guided Beomgyu’s hand to their face and let him feel much more, things that probably couldn’t be seen even if the brightest light was on.

Beomgyu focused on remembering this sensation the most. The perfect slope of nose, fluttering eyelashes, high cheekbones and such hardness in bone structure overall, contradicting with plush lips Beomgyu saved for the last. Under his fingertips, the lips curved.

“It’s you, from last week” Beomgyu knew before he even touched the guy, but if he said anything earlier, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do this. He wouldn’t have had the opportunity to touch, to feel.

“It’s me,” the guy confirmed, chuckling at the dumbfounded state Beomgyu was in as he dropped his hands back in his lap.

“How did you find me?”

“By your bracelet,” okay, Beomgyu didn’t want to take it with him at first, but he thought – he thought that maybe if he did, he won’t stand out so much. Now he realized that the people in Magic Island were basically bedecked with hundreds of bracelets while he had only one, making him stand out even more. “You still have it.”

“Of course I do, it’s been only a week,” Beomgyu laughed in disbelief.

“Haven’t come since?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“I see,” he hummed. “Did your friend also leave you today?”

“Uhm, excuse you? He did not. I told him to go and have fun.”

“And you?”

“And me?” Beomgyu repeated, confused.

“Why are you not out there having fun?”

“I am here having fun. With my company, of course,” Beomgyu grinned, reaching for his drink and sipping loudly to emphasize his point.

The guy simply laughed. “Seems a bit lonely to me.”

“I’m not lonely anymore, since you came in and decided to sit here with me without asking. Don’t you also have friends out there?”

“I do, but teasing you is a bit more entertaining now.”

“Ha-ha,” Beomgyu punctuated dryly, almost wishing for the stranger to see him roll his eyes, too. “You’re so funny.”

“Thanks. Now. Since both our friends are busy doing their stuff, I have to remind you that the question from last week is still valid. Do you want to dance with me?”

Beomgyu pretended to think hard before he leaned on the table, trying to get a closer look at the stranger’s face. He felt his fingers twitch at that and where there wasn’t the paint, he tried to imagine the features he felt. No results, he was still left wandering. He clicked his tongue, disappointed. “Alright. I will dance with you, but I have a few conditions.”

“Conditions?” he chuckled. “Sounds fun, go on then.”

“Number one – tell me your name.”

“You don’t tell people in Magic Island your name. At least never during the Blue Hour.”

“That’s stupid, why?”

“Well, doesn’t it take away the feeling of secrecy? It’s the same with the lights.”

“Okay, whatever, keep it to yourself,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes again. “How am I supposed to address you then?”

The guy went silent for a while, making Beomgyu think he just didn’t hear him talk. When he did speak, it was right into Beomgyu’s ear. “Terry. Call me that.”

Beomgyu didn’t know if the guy – Terry – was so close earlier, but having a name to call him now, their proximity, his hand hovering above Beomgyu’s thigh – he felt chills. “What do you want me to call you?”

“Ben,” Beomgyu blurted out, randomly remembering the name he used to use in English classes throughout high school.

“Alright, Ben. Any other conditions or?”

Beomgyu turned his head, their noses now touching. He could kiss him. Beomgyu didn’t know where the thought came from, but his entire mind got flooded with it, like an epidemic. You could kiss him. You could kiss him. You could kiss him–

But he remembered his conversation with Yeonjun from Saturday and suddenly felt a lump in his throat. “I,” he started, licking his dry lips, “I am straight.”

When Terry blinked three times – Beomgyu would know, he was close enough to feel the eyelashes brush against his cheeks – he panicked a little, his own words downing on him. I am just as surprised as you are! – he almost said, but all Terry did next was laugh and sit back in his place.

“Okay? Thank you for coming out to me, very brave of you. I have some straight friends, actually, and they’re pretty nice. I think my parents are straight, too. No prejudices here.”

Beomgyu snorted. “Thanks for accepting me. Then that’s about it. If you still want to dance, I’m all yours.”

“Gladly,” he was already getting up when another thought stroke Beomgyu, making him tug at Terry’s sleeve.

“One more question. What happens at the end of the Blue Hour?”

Terry tilted his head at that, confused about the suddenness. “The lights get turned on.”

“Oh,” Terry pulled him through the crowd, finding a place where the two of them could move freely. Which was basically impossible, because even then, Beomgyu still felt too close to the other boy. Terry was shorter than him! He didn’t notice at first but oh, there was definitely at least a three centimeters difference!

“Hey, Terry!” Beomgyu exclaimed even louder now that they stood right next to the speakers. “How old are you?”

He laughed, wrapping his arms around Beomgyu’s neck with a grin and shook his head. “Am not telling you!”

“Is there anything you’re actually willing to tell me about yourself?”

The grin didn’t leave his lips when he got even closer to Beomgyu, moving his body to the rhythm. “You can try asking more and we’ll see about that!”

Beomgyu thought, billions of questions flying through his head. What are you studying? Do you kiss a different person each time you’re here or do you get all your bracelets from just one person that was lucky enough? What are your hobbies? Why do you keep staring at me even though we can’t see each other?

“How did you know my eyes were closed?”

For the second time tonight, Terry seemed to be actually caught off guard. Beomgyu couldn’t see, obviously, but he knew. He knew when he opened his mouth, when his arms tensed. “Your eyelids. They’re glowing green. I didn’t notice before I sat down though, it was just a feeling. Like when you sleep through your alarm and then you wake up an hour later and you know you’ve overslept without even checking the time.”

Beomgyu reached out to touch his eyelid, examining the green smudge on his fingertip afterwards. Right, he almost forgot about Yeonjun doing his make up tonight. He grinned. “You like it?”

“Not really,” he replied honestly with no harshness, “I prefer orange.”

Beomgyu didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t help himself – remembering the letters Terry left on his cheeks last time, he felt his ears grow hotter along with his cheeks. He tried to stay composed as he scoffed. “Tasteless of you, I look great in green.”

“Well, I can’t really see you, love,” Terry laughed and ended their conversation like that, making Beomgyu blush even more, he didn’t even trust his words anymore.

It didn’t matter. The music continued blasting through the speakers and in front of him, the boy danced. Sometimes, Beomgyu felt like he could really see him, a person he remembered from his reoccurring dreams from when he was six, a boy that rode the same 7am bus when he went to high school. Faces of people he saw once and then never again, all of it in him.

“I want to see you.”

A whisper. Voice so quiet, Terry should’ve never been able to hear him but for some reason, Beomgyu was now getting stared at again. It was so frustrating. To feel eyes on you but never see, to be listened to but never heard, to be felt but never touched.

Because – because to this boy, Beomgyu was nothing other than his mentality. His voice? Louder, higher than when he normally talked. His body? Just a tool to help him move around, to follow mindlessly, to meet the touches of hands he’s never seen of a person that might as well be a subject of Beomgyu’s endless attempts to escape the reality. A dream, a fantasy.

Things that don’t last, things you have to wake up from – Beomgyu knew but he didn’t expect the moment to come so quickly.

Because just as he was about to propose his idea louder for Terry to hear, Yeonjun came up to him, shaking his arm violently. “Thank god, there you are! That tall dumbass sprained his ankle, can you help me get him back to campus?”

It wasn’t a question, definitely not a can you type of question (he couldn’t, thank you very much), because Yeonjun didn’t wait for an answer – he simply used the momentary surprise and shock Beomgyu felt to pull him along. He didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye, just one look over his shoulder full of hope that maybe, maybe Terry was looking back at him.

And so now, five minutes later, Beomgyu walked with his left arm wrapped around Soobin’s waist, from the other side, Yeonjun was explaining the situation over and over, each time coming up with another lighthearted insult to lighten up the mood. And Beomgyu understood, he did, Soobin was a big guy – all limbs that never ended, just stretched further and further – and a slim Yeonjun-like figure would’ve never been able to safely carry him all the way back to his dorm.

But at the same time, Beomgyu was really trying hard to not lose his temper. The walk to campus from the center of the city usually took him about seven minutes – the boys have reached the end of the main street ten minutes into their walk. Beomgyu knew because he kept checking his watch. There was the last minute of Blue Hour left. Fifty-nine seconds now.

“I just realized, we haven’t spoken face to face yet. I’m Choi Soobin,” the tall guy clumsily tried to pull his arm from over Beomgyu’s shoulders to Yeonjun’s audible disapproval as the whole formation of three stumbled and almost fell over.

“It’s okay, I can shake your hand later,” Beomgyu put on a well-trained smile, getting a steady hold of the guy again. “I’m Choi Beomgyu.”

“I hope I didn’t ruin your night plans or anything,” Soobin said sheepishly and okay, Beomgyu couldn’t be mad at him, not even with forty seconds of Blue Hour left.

“You’d better hope Taehyunnie is there when we get to your room so he can fix you up, dummy,” Yeonjun interrupted, bumping his hip into Soobin’s.

And well, that sure did catch Beomgyu’s attention. “Taehyunnie?”

“My roommate, Kang Taehyun,” Soobin explained, “I swear he went to every possible school club in elementary, he took extra first aid classes in his last year.”

For the rest of the walk, Beomgyu didn’t involve himself in the conversation much. His mind was a mess. From thinking about how five, then six, then seven and then eight minutes passed after Blue Hour ended to thinking about the possibility of seeing Taehyun again today, he was buzzing.

First of all, he didn’t know Taehyun’s roommate was Soobin. Obviously, he didn’t really know either of the boys but – but it made so much sense, Soobin was an architecture major, of course he’d live in house number seven.

Second of all, even though Taehyun parted with Beomgyu with the words see you, the two haven’t met since. Which wasn’t surprising, Beomgyu’s timetable had to be very different from his if he hasn’t seen the boy on the campus – he would know, he would remember someone like him – until the night when Hueningkai introduced them. But still.

Beomgyu purposedly came to the café near the dorm house number seven but with no results, not even on his performative morning run he went on once before the 8am modern art class on Wednesday. Not a sight of the boy.

Meeting him now – well, he didn’t quite know how to feel, what to say. Will Taehyun even talk to him? They weren’t friends, acquaintances at most and there was no real reason to change it. Beomgyu checked his watch once again when they finally reached the house. It took them twenty-seven minutes to get here.

“Are you able to walk up the stairs by yourself or do you want us to support you?” Yeonjun asked Soobin surprisingly tender this time and Beomgyu looked over to the blue-haired boy, genuinely wishing he’d ask for help so he has an excuse to go upstairs as well. He ignored the thought.

“The staircase is too narrow to fit three people at the same time, maybe just walk behind me so if I stumble, I don’t fall and hit my head and die there,” Soobin said casually, making the two other boys share a concerned look but in the end they complied.

The walk to Soobin’s actual room was never-ending. Stairs after stairs, the group passed first, second and third floor and by the time they reached the fourth, Beomgyu really wished that’s their stop already. The occupants of the house kept giving them weirdly amused looks and Beomgyu couldn’t help himself but really, realizing that most of the people living here were art students – they had to be used to similar scenes. Beomgyu was about to share his idea, only for the sake of making fun of Soobin’s choice in major, but just as he opened his mouth, Soobin stopped in his tracks with a relief apparent in his face.

“Okay, we’re here!” Soobin sighed, a hand on his heart that made Beomgyu question just how many times he has experienced this scenario before. He kept it to himself though, as Soobin reached for his pocket and pulled out keys to unlock the door.

Unlock. Beomgyu tried to not show any signs of disappointment on his face at the fact that Taehyun, indeed, wasn’t in there.

“Alright, so since Taehyunnie isn’t home, I have to improvise,” Yeonjun dragged a hand across his face and went through the apartment as if he were home. Beomgyu shot Soobin a sympathetic look and patted his shoulder. Well, hopefully he won’t rip your foot off – Soobin nodded with the same kind of face.

It wasn’t that bad in the end. Sure, for the first five minutes, Yeonjun was just rummaging through different kinds of bandages asking himself if there’s really a need for these many kinds if it’s the same thing. Then, of course, he proceeded to instruct Beomgyu wrongly, getting all heated when Beomgyu’s hand was in the way.

“Do it all by yourself, then!” Beomgyu gritted through his teeth but actually moved his hand so Yeonjun could wrap up Soobin’s ankle already, the poor boy having to sit through their bickering. When it was finally done, Beomgyu examined their work with a smile. It was okay, they did a good job.

“Looks neat,” he voiced, getting up from Soobin’s bed to stretch and use it as an excuse to look around the room, more specifically Taehyun’s half of it.

His bed sheets had a cartoony cat pattern, and they were splayed over the mattress with no creases, above the bed was a bookshelf – Beomgyu didn’t want to stare so he simply looked over it quickly, noticing that most of the books Taehyun owned were textbooks from school, the rest of the spines revealed themselves as Shinee albums, not actual books. Interesting, he smiled to himself.

“If my ankle could actually breathe, it would be suffocating right now. It’s too tight,” Soobin whined trying to stick his hand under the bandage to stretch it a little, but Yeonjun smacked his arm.

“No touching! It’s tight on purpose so you don’t hurt yourself any further!”

“Yeonjun, I swear I won’t be going anywhere tonight, like I’m really ready for bed right now – I don’t think there’s the possibility of me making the injury worse,” he tried again but Yeonjun simply shook his head, making himself more comfortable in Soobin’s bed.

“I will be actually making sure you stay in place. I’ll watch over you until Taehyunnie comes back, you dummy.”

Beomgyu looked at them when he felt two pairs of eyes on him, questioning. He smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “Oh. I won’t be staying I have to go to studio and work on an assignment.”

Which was a lie. Well, he did have an assignment to work on but he simply couldn’t care less, Yeonjun would know. Seeing through Beomgyu’s intentions of leaving the two of them alone, he smiled appreciatively. “Don’t overwork yourself, okay?”

Beomgyu hummed. “Sure.”

“Thanks for being such a help tonight and good luck on your assignment!” Soobin smiled and waved Beomgyu goodbye. He reciprocated the smile and went for the door.

Outside of the house on his way to his own dorm, Beomgyu finally pulled out the phone from his jacket. The time read 8:36pm – under it were at least seven message notifications from Hueningkai and three missed calls. Oh, right, he didn’t send the message, Beomgyu facepalmed, opening the chat with his roommate.

ningie [5:27pm]: hello???
ningie [5:27pm]: did you leave me on seen on purpose or
ningie [5:31pm]: i swear i saw you typing, is the message taking you so long to type out???
ningie [5:35pm]: are you ignoring me????
ningie [6:02pm]: okay maybe i wouldn’t be so dramatic if my last message wasn’t literally me askin if you’re doing good
ningie [6:45pm]: you know, this doesn’t really give me vibes of you being fine
ningie [7:19pm]: HELLO, DID YOU GET KIDNAPPED?!

Beomgyu chuckled to himself and started deleting the text still typed out in the message bar.

im okay, just chilling|
im okay, jus|
im okay|

He stared at it for a while before shaking his head.

im|
beomgyu [8:38pm]: im a mess, kai

In less than a minute his screen lit up with Hueningkai’s number and his profile picture. Beomgyu clicked the green button, picking up the call and for the rest of his walk, he explained everything to his friend who silently listened on the other end of the line.

“To me, it sounds like quite an existential crisis,” Hueningkai dared to say when it seemed like Beomgyu has finished his rant, judging by the long break after his last words.

He laughed dryly. “I guess it does sound like that. Maybe it is like that, I don’t even know anymore. I mean, why do I even care about any of it.”

“Hyung…” the voice, even through phone, was gentle, caring. Beomgyu could imagine the face Hueningkai was making right now – concerned. “You’re twenty-one. It’s okay to let yourself fall in love, whoever it is – a random guy from a night club or Taehyun.”

“W-whoa, okay, let’s not call it the l word,” he mumbled, embarrassment creeping up his face. “It’s just. Ugh, it’s stupid. What if we ran away to Italy and left everything behind?”

“You can’t just keep running away from your problems.”

“That’s the thing, I can and I sure will. Anyway, thanks for listening, I’m almost home already so I’ll be hanging up. Bye,” Beomgyu chirped, already pulling the phone away from his ear when Hueningkai’s screech ripped through it, loud enough to break his speaker.

“Wait!” he said when he was sure Beomgyu was still listening. “In case you want to know more about Taehyun… go to the west library around two in the afternoon. He’s there every Saturday and–”

Beomgyu hanged up and he didn’t think about Taehyun or Terry for the rest of his night.

See, it was all a matter of coincidence.

Beomgyu needed to work on his final paper and he needed a book about music before the nineteenth century and he just- he just happened to be around the west wing of the campus when he remembered. And there he was now, standing awkwardly in front of the big glass door, one hand on the handle.

He shook his head. This was stupid, he thought, as he opened the door and tried to put on as casual face expression as he could.

Such attempt failed almost immediately when he faced the librarian sitting behind the huge wooden counter. A gasp left his mouth involuntarily.

“Taehyun? You work here?”

The surprise from the other upon hearing Beomgyu’s voice was apparent as well, if the way Taehyun looked up from his phone so fast he hit his head on the tiny table lamp was anything to go with. He cursed under his breath, rubbing the crown of his head while maintaining eye contact. “Beomgyu?” only after a moment of staring he registered the question. “Yes, every weekend. What are you doing here?”

“I’m obviously here for the books,” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, scoffing when Taehyun tilted his head, confused. “Don’t I look like a bookworm to you?”

“Not really, no.”

“Okay, ouch? What about you though, how come you are working at a library?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, not to judge but yes to judge, based on your bookshelf…” Beomgyu waved his hand, leaning against the counter.

Taehyun put a hand on his chest, offended. “Excuse you, what’s bad about my b- Wait, how do you know?”

Oh crap. Beomgyu looked away, sheepish. “Soobin injured himself last night and… yeah, I visited.”

Taehyun’s eyes momentarily widened but then he simply nodded, swallowing whatever words that were on his tongue. “Oh. Right, Soobin is Yeonjun’s… friend. Makes sense you two would be close.”

“Yeah, you can put it like that.”

“Yeah,” Taehyun echoed and then cleared his throat. “What book are you looking for? I can help.”

“Well, nothing specific, I just need something about music’s history,” Beomgyu raised his tote bag, “for school.”

Taehyun hummed and without a word, he got up from his chair and started walking towards the maze of bookcases that reached all the way to the ceiling. Beomgyu took it as a cue to follow, so he shrugged and quickly caught up with the other.

They passed the first few alleys wordlessly, Beomgyu simply admiring the way Taehyun’s fingers caressed each book spine gently, but there were questions without answers, and they burned like hell on Beomgyu’s tongue. He couldn’t hold them in no more. “So… were you avoiding me, or?”

Taehyun abruptly stopped, his hand still hovering in the air when he turned around. A mixture of confusion and grievance covering his pretty features. “What, why would you even think that?” Beomgyu didn’t answer so he fully stepped in front of him. “Why would I do that? I wasn’t avoiding you at all.”

Beomgyu still waited, making Taehyun sigh. “Fine. You want me to talk, I’ll talk. Sunoo, my underclassman, caught fever. He was supposed to be playing the main role in the upcoming play but since he’s literally dying right now, I was chosen to replace him. Which means I have about hundred pages of script to read over, and I have to remember all of it before Tuesday. Are you satisfied?”

“Uhm, congratulations?” Beomgyu suggested, feeling stupid. Taehyun continued walking but Beomgyu was sure he saw a small smile on his lips.

“It’s not like you gave me your number so I can reach out to you or anything,” he mumbled before turning a corner and it was Beomgyu’s turn to smile.

“Alright, can fix that later.”

Taehyun chose to ignore such statement, asking a question himself instead. “What type of assignment are you working on?”

“Basically, old kinds of music. Like how prehistorical people blew into hollow pieces of wood and stuff,” Taehyun hummed, trying to show at least a fake interest. It wasn’t interesting at all, hell even Beomgyu thought it was the worst topic for his monthly evaluation paper, but he still couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the lack of reaction. He was about to point it out when he noticed some titles of books they just passed. About politic situations in China.

“You sure you know where the music section is?” he grabbed Taehyun’s hand.

“Yes, I work here, Beomgyu-ssi,” Taehyun didn’t move a bit and rather motioned his head towards somewhere to the left. “It’s around there.”

But they walked for five more minutes. Beomgyu tried to voice out his doubts again, but the words didn’t come and Taehyun perhaps wouldn’t have any of it anyway, he also hasn’t let go off Beomgyu’s hand yet, another reason for Beomgyu to just stay silent and let himself get dragged through the library.

“I don’t read much, you know,” Taehyun confessed after a while. “People don’t really come here anyway, there is a huge library at the center of the campus, why would they go anywhere else. That’s why I asked you what you’re doing here, I didn’t mean to make it sound offensive or whatever.”

“Oh. Right, sorry for assuming. Again,” Beomgyu rubbed his neck, trying to escape Taehyun’s big eyes. He smiled again.

“It’s okay. I guess I just don’t seem genuine sometimes, a force of habit,” he hummed. “You also don’t owe me an apology since- since I don’t exactly know where the section about music is, actually.”

Beomgyu tilted his head, his turn to stare now. Taehyun offered an even wider smile as a half-sorry and the thing. The thing was – the smile felt familiar, nice, warm, loud in the quiet of an almost completely empty library. He smiled, too, an automatic reaction. “Then let’s go find it.”

They’ve wandered around the library for the next two hours but neither of them minded. Taehyun used it as an excuse to not sit through his entire shift bored to death and on his phone and Beomgyu, well, Beomgyu didn’t have anything better to do. Sure, he had the assignment to work on, but it wasn’t urgent.

The way the sun started setting and was now throwing long streaks of light through the glass ceiling, the way these streaks bent around everything but Taehyun, because Taehyun consumed the light, it reflected in his brown eyes, shone through his blonde hair, fought an already lost battle with the brightness of Taehyun’s laugh every time Beomgyu said something even remotely funny – that was urgent, that was important.

Beomgyu didn’t know why he felt such heaviness surrounding them, but he went with it, he popped more jokes and watched Taehyun crack up and pure contentment filled his body. This was nice.

In the end, he still needed the materials for his paper, so just before the clock hit six o’clock, the boys finally rummaged through the history books on antique lyres – more like Beomgyu did, Taehyun sat down on the rolling step stool and spun as he talked over and over. Beomgyu listened.

“You see, I’m kind of an attraction here. When I said people don’t come here often – they do, you’d be surprised, but they always come to chat with me or just steal glances at me.”

“Sucks to be perfect, I guess,” Beomgyu hummed, giving his words no real thought. He heard Taehyun chuckle from his side, smacking his arm slightly.

“It’s not like that. Nobody’s perfect.”

“You seem the closest to it,” it earned him a disbelieving head tilt, so Beomgyu simply waved his hand. “You know. Almost six feet tall, perfect face proportions, an actor, smart, a pretty smile… You’re also kind when you’re not being snarky.”

Beomgyu would swear Taehyun blushed, but if there was any pink tint to his cheeks, it got lost in the reddish atmosphere of the sunset hour. Taehyun himself didn’t make any effort hiding his face, he even looked up to maintain an eye contact, challenging. “What do you mean almost six feet, I’m pretty sure I am six feet.”

“No way, I am six feet and you’re shorter than me.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

“Am not,” Taehyun finally got up and oh, he was close. He was too close now, straightening his back, standing right in front of Beomgyu and he kind of regretted saying anything in the first place.

Maybe he was overreacting though, Taehyun put his hand flat on his head and then slowly moved it until it hit Beomgyu’s forehead, just a little above his eyes, showing the clear height difference. Taehyun pouted, ignoring Beomgyu’s victory smirk as he moved the fluffy brown hair away.

“Your forehead is just too big,” he muttered, earning an offended gasp.

“Oh, shut up, doesn’t matter what it is that makes me taller – it’s the fact that I am, indeed, taller than you.”

“Hmm, whatever,” Taehyun muttered.

And well. He didn’t move – Beomgyu quickly learnt that this was just who Taehyun was. He wouldn’t step aside, wouldn’t break an eye contact, wouldn’t hide. Beomgyu was done for, he watched Taehyun’s big eyes slightly look up at him and felt like running away but he stood still, not letting the younger win.

“You found what you were looking for?” Taehyun broke the silence with a raised eyebrow, making Beomgyu blink few times before the question registered. Right.

“Yeah. Thanks for helping me out and spending time with me. I’ll be going then,” Beomgyu waved the book in front of Taehyun’s face, nodded and took a step back only to bump into the bookcase. Taehyun giggled, Beomgyu looked away with a smile.

“Alright. See you?”

“See you,” Beomgyu confirmed and left.

The next days went by fast, too fast. Hueningkai made Beomgyu go and see the play Taehyun was in, and okay, just as Yeonjun said – it wasn’t his thing. Most of the scenes didn’t make sense – it’s called impressionism, you uncultured prick is what Taehyun would say later on – and he found himself dozing off every few minutes, especially after Taehyun’s character got killed off.

He liked the twist at the end, when the pretty blonde came back fully dressed in white as a ghost and made his murderer slowly go insane. That was fun, that was relatable – Beomgyu physically felt the terror of the other man when Taehyun smiled at him creepily. It felt personal but from what Beomgyu saw, Taehyun was just a very good actor.

Then Wednesday and Thursday came and Taehyun agreed on grabbing lunch with Beomgyu. He wouldn’t call it a date, wouldn’t dare. It didn’t really classify as one anyway, since Yeonjun tagged along as well and if Yeonjun came, Hueningkai and Soobin had to come, too.

Beomgyu didn’t mind, he appreciated the other boys’ presence, actually. Because that way, he could sit on the chair opposite to Taehyun instead of right next to him – that way, Beomgyu had the opportunity to watch him without it looking intentional.

See, he hasn’t known Taehyun for long. They’ve hung out like what, five times now? But it was always pleasant, Taehyun knew a lot about cinematography of movies they’ve watched together – last time, it was Inception – while Beomgyu knew a lot about music. They’ve jokingly talked until the sunrise, planning on directing their own movie one day, Taehyun in charge of camera and acting, Beomgyu in charge of soundtracks.

It just felt easy to be with him alone.

When they were outside of Beomgyu’s room though, Beomgyu couldn’t help but sense some kind of a distance from the younger. It could be that their friends never missed the chance to tease them about the amount of time they’ve been spending together lately, Beomgyu wouldn’t know, he wouldn’t find it in him to ask.

Because what if all the teasing made Taehyun uncomfortable? What if Taehyun saw Beomgyu as a friend and friend only? Rather than asking, Beomgyu chose to live in this dream, in this fantasy, in which Taehyun maybe understood, maybe saw the way Beomgyu watched him over his cup of noodles at lunch.

“So, any plans for tomorrow, Gyu?” oh, Beomgyu knew this tone well, so well it actually snapped him back to reality.

He turned to Yeonjun with an apologetic smile – it was Friday tomorrow. “Yes, me and Taehyun want to watch August Rush and try to forget about the upcoming exams.”

“You promised we’d study for a bit, too,” Taehyun reminded, smile to his face as he raised an eyebrow. Beomgyu shrugged.

“Alright,” Yeonjun interrupted, “looks like Friday’s night at Magic Island is without our lovebirds.”

Beomgyu feared looking at Taehyun, especially when the younger scoffed. “Oh, come on, hyung. You’re there every weekend! Isn’t it a bit boring for you?” He didn’t comment on the nickname! Beomgyu was going insane.

“I don’t think you’re the one to speak on that, Taehyun,” Soobin said, an indication. Of what Beomgyu didn’t know as Taehyun’s face was blank. Soobin wore a gentle smile, made for Beomgyu if anyone – why, he didn’t know either. He’ll ask about it later.

“Well,” Hueningkai leaned on the table, wiggling eyebrows, “Beomgyu-hyung also seemed to have a lot of fun last week. Right, hyung?”

“Yeah, sure. Third-wheeling these two idiots on a walk back to campus is my favorite Friday night activity,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes jokingly, picking up his chopsticks again.

From across the table, Taehyun shot him a questioning glance, but Beomgyu pretended not to notice. Next to him, Hueningkai laughed. “Not that. I meant your mysterious stranger. You don’t want to see him again?”

Oh. Right, him. Did he want to see Terry again, that’s the question. Taehyun’s eyes were painfully boring into his face.

“I guess? Maybe when I’m not having plans with a friend already.”

Good safe, good safe – Beomgyu mentally patted both of his shoulders, now that the intensity of the stare lowered a little.

“Who?” Soobin, that stupid-

“Beomgyu met a flirty guy at Magic Island,” Yeonjun singsonged and really, Beomgyu just about had it. He looked at his watch – the battery in it died a few days ago – and slapped his thigh with a loud exclamation.

“Wow, guys, would you look at it? It’s so late already, I’ve got to go to class,” he faked a chuckle, everyone sitting around the table distrustfully looking up at him as he got up. Beomgyu picked up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder and after a second of hesitation, he looked Taehyun’s way, unsure.

“Then… at eight at my place?” he asked and Taehyun’s expression shifted with a beaming smile. Good.

“Sure.”

The last lesson of the day dragged on forever. Sure, due to Beomgyu’s embarrassment at lunch, he came in whole thirty minutes earlier, before the lecture hall was even open. But it was okay, it was better than hearing Yeonjun and Hueningkai talk about Terry in front of Taehyun. This way, Beomgyu was spared.

He’s pretty certain the boys didn’t drop the topic of Magic Island anyway but – what he didn’t know, didn’t hurt.

So, Beomgyu sat through his English class, pretending to pay attention while playing with his fingers idly, sometimes looking up at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring and free him of his suffering.

Alright, maybe that was a bit dramatic but the feeling of leaving the classroom and heading straight for his dorm house after two hours of listening to an old professor speaking like he had one last breath – that feeling was irreplaceable. When Beomgyu got to his room and found out Hueningkai was already gone to meet up with his underclassmen, he felt another wave of relieve.

This meant that he had whole evening for himself before Taehyun came over. He was giddy.

Beomgyu ended up taking a long shower and cleaning up his room before he plopped on his made bed and turned on his Nintendo Switch to shift his mind somewhere else, to not think about Taehyun again. It was difficult though, since the younger came by this morning and left his hoodie at Beomgyu’s chair, as if he owned the place. Taehyun was everywhere.

Taehyun was sunsets because they always reminded Beomgyu of that late afternoon they spent at the library.

Taehyun was morning air because the freshness of it smelled like his cologne, clean and welcoming.

Taehyun was everything beautiful, Taehyun was everything ordinary – Beomgyu found himself finding new things to compare to his friend every day. The butterfly that made him company the other day at his noon lecture, the ripping clouds swimming across the clear sky, the smell of coffee from his job.

Beomgyu groaned loudly when he realized that he’s doing it again, he’s thinking about him involuntarily while on his screen, Sherb was having a full-on existential crisis. Maybe none of this is real, the villager suggested – Beomgyu smiled to himself bitterly. That’s when a soft knock interrupted him.

With his heart beating fast, Beomgyu put away the Switch and went for the door. Upon opening it, he revealed Taehyun smiling shyly up at him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he greeted back, stepping aside a bit so Taehyun could come in. The boy immediately sat down on his bed and looked around as he did every time. It was a routine at this point. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“Kai isn’t here?” Taehyun asked instead.

“Nope. Him and his friends are having some sort of pre-exams party. I doubt he’ll be returning today,” he hummed with a smile, already rummaging through the tower of CDs next to their small television. “Actually, I think I’ll be happy if I ever see him again.”

Taehyun remained silent on his bed, making Beomgyu turn around. He was met with the sight of the boy staring right at his back. Beomgyu tilted his head. “Hey, is… is everything okay?”

“I…” Taehyun started, looking away. Well. That was unusual, there was definitely something going on.

Beomgyu didn’t want to push and pressure him, but the minute stretched into two and he had little to no hope of hearing what Taehyun was about to say. “I…?”

He sighed. “God, this is so dumb.”

“What is?”

”This.”

Beomgyu couldn’t help the laughter escaping his lips. He moved across the small room, sitting next to Taehyun on his bed with an expression he hoped came off as comforting. “Elaborate on that?”

Taehyun nodded few times, before he reached out to touch Beomgyu’s hand lightly. “Do you trust me?”

Beomgyu was baffled. “W-what? What do you mean? Taehyun, what’s –”

“Do you trust me?” Taehyun repeated, squeezing Beomgyu’s hand to emphasize the question again.

“I guess I do… okay, sorry. Yes, yes, I do trust you, are you going to tell me –”

“Okay, can you turn off the lights, please?”

Beomgyu bit his tongue to stop himself from talking any further, something in Taehyun’s eyes told him that if he didn’t get up now and switch off the lamp, he’d leave. So, he reached for the button – in a second, the whole room got wrapped in black.

It felt familiar, but the darkness enveloping the room was very different from the darkness of the Blue Hour, nevertheless.

There – people danced, talked over each other, the speakers blasted loud music, it was sweaty.

Here – it was deadly silent. One could drop a pin and Beomgyu was convinced he’d hear it clearly. Somehow, even the sounds from outside of the house were muted, it was just them, Beomgyu desperately trying to force his eyes to work at least a little bit. Taehyun shuffled on the bed, using the hand still wrapped around Beomgyu’s fingers as a guide.

Nothing could prepare Beomgyu for what was coming after Taehyun quickly asked Is this okay? – he didn’t even get the chance to form an answer, Taehyun settling himself comfortably in Beomgyu’s lap, one leg from each side of the boy.

He swore he were dreaming this couldn’t be real, this was beyond. His mouth felt dry, but he had to say something, he had to. “Yes. I-it’s alright.”

Taehyun smiled – Beomgyu didn’t see, he knew. He was experiencing a heavy déjà vu when Taehyun gently picked up their conjoined hands, slowly moving them towards his face. Taehyun’s cheeks were burning hot, that was the first thing Beomgyu noticed. “Touch me, please.”

Beomgyu’s head was spinning, but it was okay, this was something he knew – he realized when his trembling fingers traveled from cheeks to Taehyun’s chin, from there to his jawline, temples, forehead, threaded through his hair quickly, nose and landed on his lips. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Taehyun chuckled quietly, “oh my god.”

“It’s you. I –”

It made sense. It made so much sense, everything just fit right into its place as Beomgyu kept stroking the soft skin between Taehyun’s jawline and collarbones – the younger let him without a word.

It made so much sense. It had to be Taehyun. From the moment their lips touched for the first time to this night, it was obvious, it was written in the stars that used to hide themselves, that revealed their shine on the night when Beomgyu walked Taehyun back to his dorm, the same stars that tried to light up the dark room now, gentle streaks now allowing Beomgyu to have an actual look at Taehyun’s face.

Written over it – the word concerned. Beomgyu realized he hasn’t finished his sentence when Taehyun shifted awkwardly. “Are you disappointed?”

“What?” he whispered, still processing. “No! God, in no way am I disappointed. I actually thought I were falling for two guys at the same time. This… this kind of simplifies things if I dare to say.”

Taehyun snorted, his shoulders less tense now. “I thought you told me you weren’t into guys?”

“I panicked!” Beomgyu hid his face in Taehyun’s neck with a groan, suddenly remembering. “You – or rather Terry at first – was the only person I could think about every night. It scared the shit out of me, since I didn’t – I didn’t know a thing, I was never good at letting people in and this was so new and strong to me.”

“Are you still afraid?”

“Well. A little, to be honest? It’s not that bad now that I know it’s just you.”

“Just me?” Taehyun laughed again, too loud for the room. Too loud – there it was. Beomgyu subconsciously smiled.

“Taehyun, I swear to god. I don’t have a heartful confession prepared for tonight, I literally planned on watching Shrek with you today, not spill my heart and reveal you as my gay awakening.”

“I was your gay awakening is what you’re saying?”

Beomgyu groaned again. Hell, how he wished to wipe that smugness from Taehyun’s whole being. With an idea on mind, he pulled away a little. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“M-more than okay,” Taehyun nodded but before Beomgyu had the chance to connect their lips, he grabbed his jawline to keep him in place. “Can… Can I turn on the lights this time?”

Beomgyu didn’t waste any more time speaking, blindly flipping the switch and taking one last look at Taehyun’s big doe eyes, flushed cheeks and pretty lips, he smiled. It was okay, this was right. His hand found Taehyun’s, intertwining their fingers and finding out they fit well together. Beomgyu couldn’t stop smiling.

“Are you going to kiss me or?”

Beomgyu snorted at the demand, looking up from their hands to find Taehyun worrying at his bottom lip. The eyes watched him carefully. “We have more than half an hour to figure ourselves out this time, what’s the rush?”

But Beomgyu himself felt the urgency in the air. The room overflowed with it, reminding him what was important yet again. And so, with the opportunity at hand, Beomgyu decided to not wait any longer.

His free hand found its way around Taehyun’s neck, twisting the short hair at his nape as he brought him closer. Closer, closer, closer – until their noses touched, still not close enough. Still not enough, yet too much, Beomgyu finally tipped his head back a little, finding the perfect angle at which their lips aligned.

From there, it was easy. Oh god, Beomgyu almost wished it weren’t so easy to connect their lips, to move them, to feel what was taken away from him when they met for the first time in the darkness of Magic Island. His hands trembled, heart beat so fast it was threatening to jump out of his chest – but Taehyun was there.

Taehyun squeezed his hand, grounding. Taehyun leaned into Beomgyu’s body, turning them into nothing but two hearts beating against each other, skin buzzing with need to touch and be touched. The only reminder that they were still themselves were their lungs that burned painfully once the heated kiss became too much.

Beomgyu pulled away first, panting. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of Taehyun’s half-lidded gaze, staring at his lips still as he tried to chase after the sensation again. And Beomgyu was a weak man, letting Taehyun capture his lips for the second time, now much softer and lighter, just few pecks.

The silence stretched then, Beomgyu was starstruck. Taehyun’s cheeks were the darkest shade of red, his plump lips bigger and glossy, just like his eyes that tried to remember the way Beomgyu looked now as well. He was probably the same, both of them a mess.

Beomgyu felt eyes on him, he was seen. Taehyun listened to his pants, he was heard. Hands feeling the warmth of his cheeks, he was touched.

And that’s how it ended. Or started? Because Beomgyu couldn’t think as much as before, didn’t have these thoughts about life slipping through his fingers as if all of his twenty-one years were nothing but specks of sand, so insignificant. He liked to think of it as an end of one phase, start of a new one.

Beomgyu knew that that was what life was, just an infinite amount of phases that started and ended out of nowhere, that constantly reshaped him as a person and took away some of him in process. It was terrifying, it was, but by his side was always Taehyun that held his hands and they fit. They fit!

And it was okay, it was manageable – it was very nice, in fact.