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“What?” Joe asked finally, catching Cherry staring for the fourth time that night.
Cherry scowled from his wheelchair. “Is that jacket new?”
“Huh?” Joe looked down, though that accomplished nothing since he didn’t actually wear the jacket closed. Or with a shirt underneath. He looked back up at Cherry, eyebrow raised in exaggerated concern. “Did that concussion do more damage than we thought? I’ve worn this to S for how many years now..?”
“I don’t mean that!” Cherry snapped. “I understand it’s the same but…I mean is it a new jacket identical to the old one—” At Joe’s pitying look he just rolled his eyes and gave a dismissive wave. “Never fucking mind.”
~Several Weeks Later~
“What’s all this for?” Cherry asked, helping himself to a seat at Joe’s kitchen counter.
“Ah, Miya, actually. Though there might be a few extr—”
“You made donuts for Miya and you didn’t think to make some for your best friend?” Cherry said with exaggerated disdain.
Joe frowned, feigning ignorance. “Yeah? I just said I made them for Miya—” He laughed as Cherry threw a donut hole at him, which he caught in his teeth. After flashing a quick grin to show off his catch, he chomped it down.
“Whatever,” Cherry rolled his eyes. “Maybe he is your best friend. Sure seems to hang out at your restaurant a lot, which is kind of an odd place for a twelve-year-old.” He frowned, thinking. “Thirteen? Whatever.”
“Meh,” Joe said with a shrug. “He just sits and plays games. And watches. Shit, always watching. But it’s not like he bothers anyone. I think he’s one of those types of kids that doesn’t really have friends his own age so he always ends up hanging out with people older than him.”
“So you are best friends with a twelve-year-old,” Cherry said flatly. He eyed the tray of finished donuts with predatory interest. “Those things are almost as big as my head.”
Joe ignored him, methodically tossing another donut in his bowl of glaze, flipping it, then putting it on the tray with the others. “And I think he’d hang with Langa and Reki but…well, it’s not their fault, exactly, but you know how those two can be around each other. They tend to tune everyone else out.”
“Hmm,” Cherry grunted. “I hope your future wife knows that you’re already a father to three teenage boys. That might be a dealbreaker.” He deftly snagged the donut Joe had just finished and took a too-large bite.
“Right right,” Joe said. “And I hope your future spouse knows you’re already married. To your skateboard.”
“Mm,” Cherry agreed around a mouthful. “Tha’s definly a dellbraker. Oh darn, ooks like ’m shingle frever.”
“Trying to talk with your mouth full is probably a dealbreaker too,” Joe muttered, trying not to laugh.
Cherry just shrugged, his cool nonchalance ruined just slightly by the smear of glaze on his face from taking a bite too big for his mouth.
“Looking a bit lewd there, Sensei,” Joe teased, reaching across the counter and thumbing the milky blob from the corner of Cherry’s lips. Instinctively, he licked it off his thumb. “You think this is too sweet?”
“It’s basically liquid sugar,” Cherry said, emphasizing just how idiotic he thought the question was. “It’s supposed to be sweet.”
“Unfortunately you don’t get any sweeter no matter how much sugar you’re covered in,” Joe lamented.
“Ew.” Cherry wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Why’d you have to make that sound gross?”
“Me?” Joe asked with an incredulous laugh. “You’re the one sitting there with suspicious gooey white stuff all over your mouth.”
“Yuck!” Cherry scowled, doing a lousy job of holding back a laugh. “You’re disgusting. And—” he gestured with another donut, “—you’re ruining my eating experience.” He took an emphatic chomp, making a point to stare straight at Joe as he swiped the back of his hand across his face. “Happy?”
“Thrilled,” Joe said sarcastically.
“So why exactly are you making sweets for Miya?” Cherry asked after a moment.
“He just seemed a bit down,” Joe said with a shrug.
Cherry stared back levelly. “So you’re trying to solve problems by throwing food at them as usual. How simpleminded,” he scoffed.
“Like you’ve ever complained!” Joe fired back. “And how many of those are you going to eat?”
Cherry paused mid-reach, fingers poised to snag his third. “Thr…ee?”
With an eyeroll, Joe pushed the plate a little closer. “Fine. Just don’t make yourself sick.”
“What are you, my mother?” Cherry asked sarcastically before taking an enthusiastic bite.
“I feel like it sometimes,” Joe grumbled. “Anyway, speaking of that…I think part of the reason Miya’s kinda moody is he has a big competition coming up and his parents aren’t going to make it. He tried to act like it didn’t bother him but he wouldn’t have brought it up if it didn’t, right?”
“So you’re going.” It wasn’t a question. “Does he even want you there? What if you just embarrass him? Did you even ask?”
“Of course I didn’t ask,” Joe said. “He’s going to pretend to be embarrassed either way. He’s a kid; he can’t be honest.”
“Hmm.”
“‘Hmm’ what?”
“Nothing,” Cherry said, licking his fingers. “Just thinking that you really are a dad now. It would almost be endearing if it wasn’t kinda gross.”
Joe folded his arms across his chest. “You really don’t think I should go?”
“Does it matter what I think? You’re going to go regardless.”
“True.”
“Donuts!” Miya’s eyes lit up, then he immediately caught himself and tried to look unimpressed. “I mean, I don’t usually eat junk food like that but since you went to the trouble…I guess I could—”
“Thank you for the food!” Langa and Reki said together, each grabbing one before Miya could finish his sentence.
“Hey!” Miya protested, hurrying to claim one of his own. “He made those for me!”
With a laugh, Joe sat on the ground at the skatepark, the box of donuts (now minus three) next to him.
“Langa, you need to take smaller bites,” Reki chided, scrubbing at Langa’s cheek with his sleeve. “You’ve got stuff all over your face.”
Langa grinned, brushing a crumb from the corner of Reki’s mouth with his thumb. “So do you.”
Miya made a choked sound and glanced at Joe, face still twisted in disgust. Catching his eye, Joe smiled knowingly and gave a what are you gonna do? shrug.
With an exasperated sigh, Miya sank down next to Joe, taking a little break as Reki and Langa skated off (after grabbing another donut apiece).
“These are really good,” he admitted quietly, holding his donut with both hands and nibbling on it like a chipmunk.
“Thanks. My taste-tester almost didn’t leave any for you guys so I figured that was a good sign.”
“Cherry?” Miya asked slyly.
Joe just glared at him, even knowing a non-answer was an admission in itself.
They watched in comfortable silence for a minute, Langa pulling off tricks effortlessly and Reki…well, pulling most of them off. But they looked like they were having fun, laughing and looking only at each other.
“Another?” Joe prompted, gesturing at the donut box.
“Not right now,” Miya said with a small frown. “Blame it on those two for making me nauseous.” Joe laughed and Miya continued in a grumble, pulling his knees to his chest. “Like, seriously, can’t they tone it down a little?”
“Probably not,” Joe said. “I doubt they realize they’re doing it. And besides, it’s better than having them fighting, isn’t it?”
“I guess,” Miya conceded. After a slight pause, he asked, “Are you like that with your, um, significant other, Joe?”
Joe snorted. “I don’t have a ‘significant other’.”
“What?” Miya glared at him, face scrunched skeptically like he was trying to decide if Joe was joking. “You’re surrounded by women. How can you not have a girlfriend?”
“Ah…I, um, I kinda prefer to keep it casual.”
“Sounds like something a scumbag would say.” The openly judgmental look on Miya’s face reminded Joe a little too much of Cherry.
“I’m not a scumbag!” Joe protested with a laugh. “I’m just being honest. Regardless of how much I’d like to, I just don’t have time to devote to a relationship-relationship.”
“Still sounds scum-baggy to me. So you’re just in it for the sex?”
“Hey, it is 100% consensual and very up front about expectations and why are we talking about this?” Joe groaned.
“Because we’re worried about you,” Miya said matter-of-factly. “It’s not good to play around too much, yknow. What if you get a disease?”
“Who’s ‘we’?”
“Us,” Miya shrugged, gesturing offhand at Reki and Langa skating out of earshot.
“Thanks,” Joe said uncertainly, “but I don’t need teenagers worried about my sex li— relationship status.” This was definitely not a conversation he anticipating having today. Or ever. “Between the restaurant and S, I really don’t have time for a real relationship.”
“What about Cherry?”
Joe sighed. “Yeah, I guess he takes a lot of my time too—”
“No, I mean, why not just date Cherry?” Miya asked innocently. A little too innocently.
“What?”
“Good idea,” Shadow said, showing up out of nowhere, taking a seat on the concrete beside Joe and snagging a donut. “Wow. These are delicious.”
“Thanks and no, that’s not a good idea—”
“Why not?” Langa asked, joining them, apparently catching the tail end of the conversation as he returned for seconds (or was it thirds?). “He’s pretty, isn’t he?”
“Well, yeah,” Joe admitted. “But—”
“And you guys like to skate together, right?” Reki pointed out. “Even if you pretend you don’t. You always show up together at S; it’s getting kind of obvious.”
“Okay, I guess—”
“And he’s at your restaurant all the time,” Shadow added. “Even when he shouldn’t be. Like when he should be in the hospital instead.”
“Will you guys just—no. Kaoru’s not interested in…well, anyone, really? Like, we used to go on double-dates and stuff in high school and he could barely tolerate those. But he’s just not interested. And that’s okay!”
The boys shared a look Joe definitely did not like and that’s when he realized he left out the most important part.
“And besides, why would I date him? We hate each other!”
“Riiight,” the three said in unison.
“Double-dates?” Shadow asked.
“Yeah, you know. Whatever girlfriend I had at the time had a friend so the four of us would go, stuff like that—” At the unanimous flat stares directed his way, he gave up. “What?!”
“You made Cherry go out with you and your girlfriend?” Reki asked.
“Well, her friend was there, it was a double date,” Joe explained defensively. “It’s not like it was just the three of us—”
“Cruel,” Langa said simply.
“What?” Joe asked. “Why?”
“No wonder he’s not interested,” Miya added with a sad shake of his head. Heaving an exaggerated sigh, he hopped on his board. “Now I need to burn off donuts and frustration.” Laughing, Reki and Langa followed after, Langa licking glaze off his fingers.
“What was that about..?” Joe grumbled.
“Bluster all you want,” Shadow said, “but they’re not that far off. I drove you two to the hospital, remember?” Joe just grunted; he’d rather not remember, given the choice. “I heard you talking to him the whole way there.”
Joe grimaced. It’s not that he regretted saying those things, exactly, but…well, Cherry acted like he had no memory of any it. And to this day Joe couldn’t quite decide whether he genuinely didn’t remember anything after being whacked full on in the face or if he just pretended not to so he didn’t have to acknowledge Joe’s feelings and they could both just continue on like nothing ever happened.
Either way…
“Well, uh, he has no memory of the incident so could you please…” Joe trailed off, then sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Could you just forget it too?”
“Yeah,” Shadow grumbled after a moment, polishing off another donut. “Sure.”
Cherry’s fingers rested on the laptop keys, stilled once again by his daydreaming of several days earlier, the warm and fuzzy (no way, Cherry was not warm and fuzzy—ever!) memory of Joe flipping donuts, those deft hands making easy, practiced movements as the muscles in his arms flexed in time.
Cherry swallowed back the sudden onslaught of saliva.
What, no! It was from the donuts—!
They had been unfairly good.
The usual, comfortable banter with Joe’s warm laugh and the effortless reach across the countertop to swipe at Cherry’s lips with his thumb, then licking it off like ohgod why did he do shit like that?
Was he such a playboy gigolo that sort of thing just came to him automatically now? Was it something he just didn’t think about because they’d been friends for a million years so they no longer had boundaries? Had he been taking care of Cherry for so long at this point he viewed him like a parent would a child?
Or was it because, when it was all said and done, after all their history together, Joe would never, could never see him in any sort of…romantic…capacity, because he was “just Cherry.” He was…
Boring.
His bottom lip was not trembling as he smiled sadly to himself, touching the corner of his mouth where he still felt the ghost of Joe’s thumb—
And Carla announced incoming text messages startling the shit out of him, slamming his hand on his phone with a woefully undignified yelp.
Gorilla: You busy?
Gorilla: could you bring me a clean jacket from my closet? I thought I had a spare here but apparently not
Gorilla: and we’re in a major rush and mine SOMEHOW got doused with chicken stock
Gorilla: and it might be missing a couple buttons
Already on his way, Cherry dictated his reply to Carla.
You: In the time it took you to tell me all this, you could have gone and gotten it yourself
Gorilla: see you in a few ;)
It didn’t take any time at all for Cherry to let himself into Joe’s house and rummage through his bedroom closet. He grabbed a pristine white coat, one of many, assuming they were all more or less the same. Then he decided to check the tag for the size, just in case, and compare it with another just to be sure. No point in taking Joe a coat that didn’t fit (or didn’t fit even worse? seriously, he needed to tone back the muscles before he couldn’t find clothes at all)—
And that’s when he saw it.
With a frown, Cherry reached further into the closet, pushing hangers aside to get at what had caught his eye.
He couldn’t really fault Joe for having more than one “costume” jacket, even if he thought it was hideous (at least it was marginally better than the ridiculous tiger jacket). It was a costume, after all, for lack of a better word. But he’d known that Joe had switched, that the one he’d been wearing had smelled looked newer. However, he couldn’t figure out why Joe had switched…and more importantly, why he’d lied about it when Cherry asked him.
Reaching, Cherry hesitated, hand paused in mid-air. Joe needed his chef’s coat. He was supposed to be in a hurry. He needed to get going.
Instead, he carefully slid the newer jacket side, clearing enough space to get a better look at the old one.
And immediately wrinkled his nose.
Seriously, Kojiro—you’d rather buy a whole new jacket than just get the old one cleaned? And why keep the gross one? What even is that on there?
Something dull and crusty covered both of the cuffs up onto the sleeves, though the left definitely was the worst, the same substance in a sizable smear across the right breast.
Warily, Cherry brushed his index and middle fingers across the smudge dried into the fabric, a few flakes sticking to his fingertips as he hoped it wasn’t anything too disgusting.
Joe was in a bind and needed his chef coat, he needed to get going—
Cherry rubbed his fingers and thumb together, peering at them intently. Had Joe gotten injured somehow at Crazy Rock and hid it from Cherry? Because it almost looked like bloo—
“Kaoru.”
Gently wiping the blood out of Cherry’s eyes with the cuffs of his jacket as they rode to the hospital.
“Kaoru, please. You’ll be okay.”
“Please be okay.”
“If anything happens to you, I will kill him.”
An awkward chuckle, doing his best to hang on himself, to cope.
“Kaoru, hang on.”
“You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.”
Carefully but so desperately hugging Cherry to his chest, voice trembling as he whispered in his ear.
“Kaoru, I love you.”
Overwhelmed with the flood of memories, Cherry stared unseeing at his fingertips for just a second longer. Then he started breathing again and wiped his hand against his thigh.
“I gotta go,” he whispered shakily to himself. “Kojiro needs his chef’s coat.”
“Geez, took you long enough,” Joe said as soon as Cherry stepped through the back door of Sia la luce. “If I’d known you were gonna take that long, I’d have gone mysel—Kaoru, what’s wrong?”
Cherry stiffened, trying to make his expression as normal as possible. Whatever the hell that looked like. But obviously he wasn’t doing a very good job if Joe had already caught on.
But how was he supposed to look normal when he couldn’t even look at stupid Joe now without remembering—
“Kaoru, I love you.”
“Nothing,” Cherry blustered, shoving the clean white jacket (and a fresh undershirt he'd thought to grab—just in case) at Joe’s chest.
Joe clamped a hand around Cherry’s wrist. “No, seriously you look…are you okay? Have you eaten? We’re slammed but there should be that single-seater in the corner open—if you go sit down I’ll send out some—”
“I’m fine,” Cherry insisted, and it wasn’t quite a lie: Joe’s concern helped ground irritate him enough to snap him back into near-normal. “If you had time to fuss over me you had time to go get your own damn jacket. Now—” he flashed a look around Joe’s shoulder, intending his next words for the entire kitchen, “—get back to work.”
Joe turned slightly, just in time to see his small staff unanimously put their heads down and look busy, trying to hold back smiles with varying degrees of success. The newbie was too slow and got caught staring with wide-eyed curiosity before ducking away.
“Fine,” Joe grumbled, turning back to Cherry and releasing his arm. “But will you at least…”
“Yes,” Cherry replied to Joe’s unspoken question. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Joe smiled softly. “See you in a few hours.”
Stay over.
That was what Joe had been about to say.
And Cherry had agreed to it without really thinking. How stupid was he, really? With a sigh he tilted his head back against Joe’s couch, pushing his glasses up on his head so he could scrub at his face.
Why the hell had he agreed?
And so what if he had? Why was he still here? Why not just fib and say something came up or he wasn’t feeling well or—
His traitorous stomach rumbled loudly.
Well. He could probably at least stick around long enough to eat.
“Kaoru..?” Joe called cautiously as he stepped through his front door, flipping on the light. “Why are you sitting in the dark?!”
“Huh?” Cherry asked, startled, nearly dropping the tablet loose in his hand. He’d tried to distract himself by reading something but had zoned out and the screen had shut itself off due to inactivity.
Joe frowned in concern. “Were you sleeping?”
“No, I, uh…” Cherry cursed himself; he should have just said yes. “I was just, um, thinking.”
“Oh no,” Joe teased, but was apparently relieved as he headed to his kitchen to plate up the food he’d brought home. “Sounds dangerous.”
“Shut up,” Cherry retorted automatically. “One of us has to do it.”
“Hmm,” Joe hummed idly, digging through his to-go bag. “I brought you something new to try, I want your opinion on it. But if you’re not in the mood, I do have the ingredients for carbonara here—”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll try it,” Cherry said, following him into the kitchen.
Joe eyed him critically. “You’re awfully agreeable. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“How many times do I have to say I’m fine?” Cherry snapped, swatting Joe’s shoulder.
“Until I actually believe you?” Joe suggested, ignoring Cherry’s resulting eyeroll. “Ah!” he said enthusiastically, pulling out a bottle of wine. “This might help.” He grinned. “I was hoping you’d taste this too.”
Cherry shrugged haughtily. “I suppose.”
“Brat,” Joe muttered, not hiding a smile. He carried their plates to the living room so they could eat and watch a movie. “Grab the glasses?” he called over his shoulder.
Cherry already had the cupboard open and was reaching. He could do this, he told himself. This was super normal, their everyday routine when Cherry stayed over. Joe home late from the restaurant, they’d wind down and eat and bitch and banter while they watched some stupid show and maybe drink (definitely drink) and end up tangled up asleep and—
“Kaoru, I love you.”
The wine glass slipped from his hand with a loud crash, shattering across the ceramic tile of the kitchen floor.
“Are you okay?” Joe asked immediately.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Cherry stammered, setting the intact glass in his other hand on the counter. “Sorry, I just—”
“Stay there!” Joe barked. “I have slippers on, I’ll come get you.”
“It’s just a little glass!” Cherry protested. “I can walk around—”
“It’s all over the damn floor and you’re barefoot! Just stay there!” Joe ordered emphatically as he picked his way across the kitchen, unable to miss crunching a few shards underneath the soles of his slippers. “Here.” He held out his arms.
Cherry stared at him. “Here what?”
“I’m going to carry you, jackass,” Joe said, already reaching for him.
“Why didn’t you just throw me slippers?” Cherry countered, cursing his traitorous hands for wrapping around Joe’s neck without his permission.
“Why don’t you just let me carry you?” Joe retorted, scooping him into a princess carry. “Do you really have to bitch about every little thing?”
“Yes,” Cherry said sincerely. Their faces were way too close now. “You carried me like this that night,” he heard himself say, to his own surprise. And immediately hating himself for it.
Joe’s arms flinched around him.
“Oh?” Joe said carefully, not moving.
“You picked me up like it was nothing,” Cherry continued, not really sure why since a sizable part of his brain screamed at him to shut up.
“I thought you didn’t remember anything after…” Joe trailed off.
Cherry had to smile a little at that. Big, tough Joe and he still couldn't even bring himself to say the words aloud. …That night. …The tournament. …The incident.
…Adam hit you in the face as hard as he could with his skateboard.
“I saw your jacket,” Cherry said.
“I know.” Joe frowned, confused. “You brought it to me.”
“Not that! Your skate jacket.”
“So? Don’t you see it every S?”
Cherry clenched his jaw. “Could you quit being so obtuse?”
“Sorry!” Joe half-laughed. “I just got off a frantic dinner service, my brain is fried, you scared the shit out of me dropping that glass and I don’t know what’s wrong or why you’re being all vague and cryptic—”
“The one with my blood on it!” Cherry blurted.
“Oh.” It took Joe a second. “O-oh. Uh…hmm.”
“I asked you if you swapped for a new one and you lied and told me no,” Cherry pressed, wondering why they were having this conversation in Joe’s kitchen, surrounded by broken glass, Joe still holding Cherry like he weighed nothing.
Cherry’s arms twined around his neck like a damn princess.
Joe gave a one-shoulder shrug. “You didn’t remember. And I…I thought maybe that was for the best. So I didn’t see any point in bringing up anything that would remind you, I guess.”
“Does that mean you didn’t want me to remember?” Cherry asked intently.
“Honestly?” Joe asked, looking oddly sad. “I—well, I thought maybe you did remember and lied about it. Y’know, just…pretended you didn’t.” He paused, gnawing his bottom lip. “Because you didn’t like what I said in the car.” His eyes darted away. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—”
“No, I genuinely had no memory of it,” Cherry clarified. “Um. Until…until today. When I saw your, uh, coat. In the closet.”
Again, why were they having the conversation like this? Joe’s face was way too close—
“Ah,” Joe said, not really giving away much. “That’s what had you shook up when you stopped by.” He huffed a mirthless laugh. “And why you were sitting here in the dark when I got home. Kinda surprised you were still here at all, then. Sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?” Cherry asked, trying not to let the panic show on his face.
Joe stared at him, surprised and confused at his question, and Cherry’s heart sank.
“Oh,” Cherry said quietly, answering his own question. “Because you didn’t mean it.” He looked down, futilely hoping Joe couldn’t see as he blinked back tears; how fucking stupid could he be? “Of course you didn’t.”
“Wait, Kaoru—! Did—did you want me to?” Joe asked incredulously.
“No,” Cherry said immediately, giving up and hurriedly swiping at his eyes.
“Are you—why are you crying?!”
“I’m not!” Cherry protested with an emphatic sniff. “It’s allergies.”
“You suddenly developed allergies standing in my kitchen?”
“Yes, because I’m allergic to you. Put me down; I’m leaving.” Cherry pushed at Joe’s chest.
“Whoa,” Joe said, caught off balance for a second before renewing his grip on Cherry. “Like hell you are! Unless you want to walk home with bloody feet.”
“Don’t manhandle me!” Cherry snapped back, knowing full well he was being completely bratty and unreasonable but fuck he was so embarrassed and shit he was crying and so mad at himself for getting his hopes up just because stupid Joe wiped his mouth with his thumb (and licked it afterward like it was nothing) and cooked for him whenever he asked (and often when he didn’t) and picked him up like it was easy (and held him like he was something precious) and said he loved him—
(and Cherry had been waiting his whole life to hear it)
He looked away, had to look anywhere else, but he was surrounded by Joe’s stupid muscles and—
“How the hell did you even do this?” he asked petulantly, poking into the muscle of Joe’s shoulder.
“Do what?” Joe asked carefully.
“These stupid muscles. How did you even get like this?” Cherry asked, critical tone ruined with a loud sniff.
“With a lot of hard work,” Joe said, apparently humoring him.
“I bet,” Cherry muttered, still refusing to make eye contact. “Why? Why go to all that effort—”
“So you’d look at me,” Joe said honestly.
Cherry’s head whipped up, staring him straight in the face and immediately regretting it. There was no teasing smirk, no making fun of him for crying, no ‘ha, just joking!’.
Just that shy half-smile he did when he was admitting something he found embarrassing.
“And so if you ever fell, I would be the one to catch you,” Joe continued, staring intently. “Or do you not remember that either?”
Cherry frowned, thinking. “No..?” Then a possibility hit him. “Wait, you don’t mean that time from back in high school? With…” He didn’t finish the sentence, didn’t want to say Adam’s name.
“Yeah,” Joe said quickly, cutting him off so he didn't have to hear it.
The pouty scowl on Joe’s face, so out of place there, made Cherry snort in spite of himself. Which just made Joe scowl harder.
“I can’t believe—” Cherry said, unable to suppress a giggle. He tried again. “I can’t believe you even remember that. It was—”
“The look on your face,” Joe interrupted in a very serious, very un-Joe tone. “I’ve never forgotten it.”
“I was surprised!” Cherry said defensively despite hardly remembering the event at all. Apparently it made a far bigger impact on Joe than it had on him.
“You were smitten,” Joe countered immediately.
Cherry blinked in surprise. That was definitely not what he expected and he wasn’t quite sure what to say to it.
“No way,” he tried with a dismissive eyeroll. “Cmon. Okay, maybe I thought he looked kind of cool but…admit it, he was cool!” Joe’s eyes narrowed. “Hey. You thought so too! It’s not like we knew at the time he was kind of a psychopath—”
“Kind of?”
“Besides, I don’t think that now…” Cherry trailed off, registering Joe’s clenched jaw and thinned lips.
And he had a sudden, impossible thought.
“Wait, are you jealous?” Cherry blurted incredulously.
Joe held his eyes for a long moment and Cherry wondered how wrong he’d been. Joe was the easy-going one, the guy always laughing and joking, lightening the mood. He did not get mad. Cherry couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen him like this.
“Yeah,” Joe admitted.
It took a second to register; Cherry had expected denial.
Okay, he was serious, right? If he was joking, he would’ve cracked by now. And so…
He meant he was jealous of Adam for catching Cherry, right? Not that he was jealous of Cherry because he wanted Adam to catch him?
His eyes flickered to Joe’s face. That angry pout was unfairly adorable and Cherry clenched his jaw to keep from letting that thought show on his face. If he didn’t do something quick he was going to end up kissing him—
And that was a horrible idea.
“Put me down, gorilla.”
He half expected Joe to resist, to argue, to keep him confined in his arms in the kitchen. But he didn’t; wordlessly, he walked Cherry to safety and lowered him to standing.
For a moment neither moved. Cherry kept one hand lightly on Joe’s shoulder. For balance, he told himself.
“Go ahead and eat,” Joe said, voice a bit gravelly. “I’ll sweep up the glass—”
“Did you mean it?” Cherry asked, fingers tensing in the fabric of Joe’s shirt. “What you said in the car?”
A smile flashed across Joe’s face, that sad smile that Cherry was starting to hate because it hurt.
“You know the answer,” Joe said with a defeated shrug and a downward glance to avoid eye contact. “Or else you wouldn’t keep askin—”
Cherry decided that kissing him wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
Panic seized his heart for a split second where it felt like time just stopped and he just knew he’d fucked up big time, undoubtedly made the biggest, dumbest mistake of his life; he’d misunderstood horribly and his attempt to rectify the situation had absolutely demolished it instead and there was certainly no coming back from this—
Then Joe’s lips moved against his, parting to welcome him in, tongue eagerly meeting his halfway. The next instant Joe’s hand cupped his face, fingers splayed into his hair, the other hand nestling in Cherry’s low back to press him close.
Cherry’s lips quirked into a small smile even as he wound his fingers in the green curls and deepened the kiss.
Maybe he hadn’t fucked up so bad after all.
“Kaoru,” Joe eventually rumbled against Cherry’s lips, moving apart only as far as necessary to talk. “Really?” The single word held so much hope that Cherry swore he could actually taste it. “You…really?”
Cherry couldn’t find the breath to form words even if he hadn’t temporarily forgotten how to use them so he just nodded, or tried to—Joe’s hand cupping his jaw didn’t allow for much movement.
So he settled for a half-whimpered, half-groaned “mmm” in the affirmative and just trusted Joe would figure it out.
Judging by the smile Cherry could feel against his lips, Joe did.
“Kojiro?” Cherry murmured sleepily, cracking an eyelid only to realize he couldn’t see shit because he didn’t have his glasses.
They had eventually eased apart, startled back to reality by the loud grumbling protest of Cherry’s empty stomach, reminding them of food now in need of reheating and a kitchen floor still waiting to be swept free of glass.
The reheating and the sweeping did get done eventually, despite Joe’s regular interruptions to kiss Cherry until he finally snapped, “Fuck me or feed me, pick one!”
Both of their eyes had flown wide—Joe’s surprised yet hopeful and Cherry’s in shocked embarrassment, despite being the one who had said it.
“I mean, let’s eat,” Cherry had mumbled, cheeks pink.
Things had settled after that, a routine so familiar it didn’t take effort or thought. Though now there were little kisses peppered throughout, soft touches no longer suppressed.
Cherry had fallen asleep on top of Joe, which honestly was normal. But now it was…allowed. They no longer had to pretend that neither had noticed.
“Shh,” Joe whispered, pressing a kiss to Cherry’s head. “Just moving to bed.”
“Are you carrying me again?” Cherry asked groggily, trying to muster some annoyance. “I can walk, you know.”
“I know,” Joe said with a little laugh. “But the whole reason I got muscles was so I could carry you. So let me do it.”
“That’s dumb,” Cherry grumbled.
“I might never put you down ever again,” Joe continued even as he set Cherry on his bed.
Cherry snorted in spite of himself. “That’s extra dumb. You really are a gorilla.” Squinting (not that it helped much), he mentally cursed his lack of glasses as Joe stripped to his underwear and climbed into bed beside him. “Hey. How long?”
With a frown (they were close enough for Cherry to make out that much) Joe gave an exaggerated glance down at his crotch. “You always ask a guy that right off? I mean, you’re welcome to feel for yourself—”
“Not that, dumbass!” Cherry snapped with a backhanded swat, trying not to laugh. “Besides, I’ve seen you naked plenty in the last twenty years. I know perfectly well exactly how big—ahem,” he stopped himself, blushing at Joe’s amused grin. “I mean, how long have you…thought about it? Thought that way about…me.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say the L-word out loud.
“Ah,” Joe said, a bit sheepish. “Um. Well. Ah…a long time.” He huffed a laugh. “An embarrassingly long time.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Cherry asked.
Joe stared back incredulously. “Well, I…I just figured there was no way, that you’d…And besides, if you, um, felt—feel that way too—why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t know that’s what it was,” Cherry replied simply.
“What?!”
“Well, I’d always felt that way so I didn’t realize it was anything special. By the time I figured it out, I knew there was no way you’d feel the same. I thought if you had, you would’ve brought it up.”
Joe let out an exasperated growl, wrapping his arms around Cherry and pulling him to his chest.
“For being so smart, you can be incredibly dumb.”
“Hey!” Cherry groused. “I don’t want to hear that from you of all people.”
“Who knew you could actually be cute,” Joe muttered.
“Gross.”
“You didn’t know that's what it was.” Joe sighed. “I can’t even…”
“I was little, cut me some slack! It’s not like I had any other friends or anything to compare it to. I just thought it was normal to feel that way.”
“Kaoruuu,” Joe warned, squeezing him almost too tightly. “You’re tired. Go to sleep.”
“Why are you trying to tell me what to do?!”
“Because if you say any more cute things, I’m not going to be able to hold back.”
Cherry snorted. “Right.”
“I’m serious,” Joe insisted, kissing the top of Cherry’s head. “As it is, I’m not planning on letting you out of bed tomorrow.”
“You really are a gigolo gorilla.”
“Yep.”
“Absolutely vulgar.”
“You knew that already.”
“Nothing more than libido on a skateboard.”
Joe gave in and laughed at that. “That’s a new one; I like it.”
“Anyway, we can’t,” Cherry said, still slightly mashed against Joe’s chest. “Miya’s competition is tomorrow.”
“Oh, you’re right.” Joe released him just enough to look down at him, excited. “So you’re gonna go with me?”
“Unless you think it’s too soon for me to meet your son..?” Cherry deadpanned, giving in to a wry smile after Joe burst out laughing.
“He’s gonna be super surprised,” Joe said happily, settling back in with a yawn.
“I think you mean appalled and mortified.”
“That too,” Joe agreed with a grin. “It’s good for him.”
Cherry sighed dramatically, closing his eyes and resting against Joe's chest. “I can already tell I’m going to be the favorite parent in no time.”