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unspoken regrets pass in the breeze.
“what am i supposed to do now,,?”
“i wonder if the dead actually cares about us,”
chifuyu flinches, alerted that someone is behind him. there you stood, your breath in the chilly november air.
responding with the first thought in his head, “of course they care about us,,” steam from the noodles waver between you two.
“even if they chose to leave us ?” you whisper under your breath.
chifuyu remains quiet, still sitting in front of baji’s grave, though he still grieves baji’s death the tears stopped flowing.
after placing down flowers on your mom's grace, you quietly exit the cemetery, he asks you a returning question, “what if they left for our sake?”
you turn to look at him, a small smile forming, "i never thought of that."
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“what if they left for our sake,,” his words bounced in your head ever since you left. “that’s impossible, she would never do something for me, not in a million years.”
“it’s kind of creepy muttering to yourself around midnight,”
“huh?”
he makes himself comfortable in the kid swing beside you.
“oh it’s you again.”
he sheepishly rubs his neck, “did you miss me?”
“i wonder if dad is home yet,,nah he’s probably still drinking with his buddies.”
“hey dont just ignore me !”
“ah sorry , i didnt hear you.” you smile to him.
“..what kind of person would ignore someone right next to them?” he pouts.
“i was just joking,” you take a deep sigh, silence rest between the two of you.
“ive been thinking about your question all day.”
he paces the swing slowly, “oh really? my bad, i was just saying something random..” he mutters to himself.
“um what,,?”
“oh uh nothing,,never mind what i said.”
you stretch after sitting for so long on the swing, “,,alright, im heading back. you should too, wouldnt your parents be worried?”
“wait, before you go, what’s your name?”
you leave behind the boy.
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your bag thumping on the stairs, red and orange leaves swirl in the waters with the noise. surprisingly, great weather for november.
pulling out one of your favorite books, you continue reading where you left off. though no matter how much you try to focus on what’s happening, the he keeps coming back. it’s not weird though right? hes just some rando you saw at the cemetery and coincidentally met again at the park. you're just over thinking it.
revs of a motorbike interrupts your peace. seeing the death of a boy around your age from biker gangs causes you to be careful of your surroundings.
‘man, i wanted to read for a little longer..’
“hey you’re the person from yesterday!”
“hm?”
he peeks out from your book. “no way you like yazawa ai's work too?”
“yeah.”
he makes himself comfortable on the stairs, crossing his arms behind his head. “it feels good to have some peace and quiet.”
you stuff your book into your bag and straightening your posture, “what do you mean by that?”
“oh well, im in a biker gang, i just left a meeting. it’s always to loud you know?”
“you?! in a biker gang ?! out of all people?”
he closes his eyes, casually saying, “yeah,,is that weird?”
black uniform with yellow characters, ah that’s right, the tokyo manji gang from the news! a sputter of questions intrudes your mind, does this mean he’s a bad guy? he’s not mean or violent at all, he’s quite kind too. wait, was it his friend that died on halloween? so many questions you want to ask.
“hey im hungry, wanna grab a bite? it’ll be on me, a lady shouldnt pay when a gentleman offers,” his stomach growls.
“that’s a pretty stupid rule you have,” your blunt sentence pokes at his ego. “do you even have enough money for a full meal between two people?”
“well no,,i was thinking about splitting the bill..”
“not only are you broke but you’re stupid! you just say anything without thinking twice dont you?”
he picks his ears, “anyways,,i know a good restaurant around here.”
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“i’ll have water please,” you told the waiter.
“just water? you should eat something,”
you stare into his eyes, “i’ll have a sandwich then.” the waiter scribbles into their notepad and rushes to the kitchen. gazing out the window, chifuyu sees a reflection of a pipe.
watching him double take the window, "what's wrong?" you ask him. he gives his last glance to the window, the pipe is gone.
"oh it's nothing!"
"here's a handkerchief , your nose is running.. gross. " he takes the cloth and wipes his nose. "you can keep it, i have a lot in my bag."
"oh what's this? you're starting to act more caring,,? " he wiggles his eyebrows.
"really? wow that's a shock." you respond in a sarcastic manner.
he looks away from you, then return his eyes. "i just remembered something !”
you tilt your head.
“you never answered my question from yesterday,”
“uh, what question?”
“are you serious?” his words sounded serious, but he couldn’t hide his smile.
“for real, what question?”
“here are your dishes,” the waiter interrupts.
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finishing the meal, it’s already dark. the tokyo streets during cold nights are so quiet and empty, its frightening not knowing what’s in the dark. you pull up your leg warmers, “my house is nearby, i’ll go now, goodbye.”
“wait! it’s not safe to walk around tokyo during night,”
“it’s okay, i know my way around her-“
a car zigzags through the streets, cars honking and yelling from people waiting in traffic.
“are you sure?”
“fine fine, i’ll come with you.”
“dont worry about danger when im around! i’ll protect you!” he says proudly.
“dont you feel embarrassed saying that?”
he ignores your remark, “here, hop on!”
you slide your bag down your arm, “hold tight, i might go a little fast!”
“it cant be that baAAD!!” you cling your arms around his chest, hoping that you wont fall out.
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“my house is here,”
he slams on the brake, you flatten out your uniform. his eyes follow you as you reach the door.
“my name is (y/n) by the way!”
the sentence catches him off guard, “my,,my name is chifuyu! chifuyu matsuno!”
“nice to meet you chifuyu,” you smile warmly at him, shutting the door behind you.
kicking off your shoes, you run upstairs, throw your bag and flop in bed. cushioned by your soft pillows and blankets.
you squeeze your pillow as tight as you clung onto chifuyu, wishing you could go through the thrill for the first time again.
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stars twinkle bright in the dark sky, as if someone dumped glitter on black paint. though you know nothing about space, the fact there’s an infinite galaxy beyond year will always amaze you.
“the sky looks great doesnt it?” chifuyu tries to start a conversation, “what’s with an awkward question like that?” you jab him on the arm.
he laughs while laying on the picnic blanket that you set out in the grass, over the past few weeks, you spend time with him more and more everyday.
most days goes with at least one interaction, although on the days you dont see him, makes your heart aches. surely he’ll never get into a fight or anything unless someone else initiated it, but you can never imagine someone like him throwing bloody punches.
the chifuyu you know, is probably his softer side, his soft side for you. you are his weakness. of course toman is important to him, his friends are important to him, but you’re in a special place in his heart. maybe somewhere deep inside, because he cares about you so much.
you could never imagine yourself hanging out with a boy like this, especially the fact you’re maintaining a friendship with one. however it’s not a bad thing, your relationship with him makes you feel special and loved, something that you never had. there’s not a day where he’s not on your mind.
whenever you’re with chifuyu, you feel warm inside. as if you could spill all your secrets with him, but does he feel the same?
..does he feel the same?
the glass jar reflects a pipe in the corner of chifuyu’s eyes. recently, he’s been seeing random occurrences of a pipe in reflections, but as soon he puts his full attention to it, it’s gone.
whenever he sees the pipe, it tugs on his curiosity even more. at this point, it’s almost annoying, ‘just tell me the answer already!’
‘seeing something like that so often though..it must be a sign right? or am i just crazy..these prophecies and superstitions kinda scares me. out of all times where i actually pay attention, it didnt have to be about Nostradamus..’
the sight of the pipes always give him an empty feeling inside the chest, the pipes only appear when he’s with you though, which makes it stranger. it makes him feel like he has to protect you, maybe it’s because he’s never really had a close relationship with a girl, but he’s been thinking about you non-stop, he sometimes feels like he might go crazy.
he always enjoys telling you about small things in his day, whether it’s a funny quote from a book or something about his cat, because you always listen to him. you don’t have to talk, but it feels nice to to have someone listen, it gets lonely at the apartments sometimes.
chifuyu pulls out the handkerchief you gave him, sniffling.
“you had a cold for quite a while dont you think?”
“that’s what ive been thinking too,, i’ll probably go to the doctor soon,”
again, the pipe appears in the corner of his eye.
the thought about prophecies and superstitions leaves a bad feeling in his stomach, as if a knot is endlessly tying itself.
“i hope you wash your hands with soap,” you tell him.
“why?” he tucks the handkerchief in his pocket.
you didn’t respond with words, or rather there are no words to describe why you felt the urge to hold his hand.
it just felt right, under a starry sky, just you and him.
he firmly squeezes your cold hands, his chest fluttering. the moment didn’t need meaningless words, touch is a wordless language between you two.
an airplane crosses the sky, leaving behind a trail of clouds.
“there’s something that keeps bothering me for these past few weeks,”
you weren’t totally focusing on what he said, but at least you hear him. “tell me.”
he hesitated for a moment, “i just feel like,,somethings bad is about to happen to you. there. i finally said it.”
now he has your attention, you search in his eyes. “what makes you think that?”
“i dont know,” he sighs, “i wish i know the answer too.”
he squeezes your hands one more time, “if anything happens to you, i’ll be there to protect you, okay?” he smiles. though that sentence was half hearted, inside, he’s terrified. but if he told you that, you’d worry even more.
“if something happens to me, i wouldnt go down without a fight. after all, i got a lot to live for.”
he nods his head.
“i can do things myself too, so dont worry about me too much.”
your smile gave him a little strength inside.
“i made the conversation a little depressing didnt i?” he sheepishly smiles.
“on christmas, let’s hang out,” you tell him.
“yeah..on christmas..”
“do you promise that?”
“i promise.”
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it’s been quite a while since you’ve seen chifuyu, it goes from one interaction a day, to not speaking at all. but it’s okay, he has his own life, same as you.
yuzuha waves to you from inside the cafe.
the strong coffee aroma hits you as soon as the doors open, it’s such a cozy place.
“it’s been quite a while since we’ve talked in a cafe like this,” yuzuha greets you.
“yeah, haha” you pull out the chair and set your bag on the floor.
“so how have you’ve been doing?” she asks you.
“oh i’ve been doing nothing lately, the usual.”
“did he dump you?”
“what?”
“dont pretend like you know nothing, did he dump you? he wont know what’s coming for him when i get my hands on him..”
“gee,, why are you so grim like that..” you joke, the both of you giggle.
“but he’s not anything like *that*, he’s just simply a friend, that is a boy.”
“come on, we all know that friendships among a boy and a girl is impossible. one always ends up liking the other, and there’s always heartbreak included in it somehow.”
“but it’s not like that! i swear, we’re just friends!”
“okay okay, i’ll back off, but you were a little defensive there (y/n).”
you glare at her, but your best friend cant keep you mad forever.
she sips her latte, “look it’s snowing outside!”
you look out the window with her but you didn’t feel as much excitement as before.
“is a friendship between a girl and boy really impossible yuzuha?”
she almost chokes on her latte, “huh?”
“is it, normal to feel..like your chest is fluttering when you’re around a friend?”
“i think that’s what you call, butterflies in your stomach, (y/n).”
butterflies in your stomach huh..
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after catching up with yuzuha, it’s already dim outside.
“ah im gonna have to take the train back to home..”
“want me to accompany you?”
“yes please, the streets are so scary at night.”
the two of you head out, only to see the roads packed with people, squeezing through the crowd would only end up with you guys squished like bugs on the ground.
“i guess it’s because it’s almost christmas, everyone’s in a rush to buy something.”
“ even when it’s so dark?”
“i know another way to get the train, it’s a bit longer but it’s the same road where my house is. just stay close to me.”
“really? you’re the best yuzuha!”
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“ how much longer until the train?” dragging your feet behind yuzuha. the tall trees feels like they were gonna snatch you and your bag, so creepy.
“it’s not that much longer, i promise..”
the road thin and windy, it’s more like a path that’s connected to a neighborhood, the shrubs and trees sprinkled with snow, your shoes crunch the the snow.
“okay finally we’re in the city again.”
the train station is just across the street.
a motorcycle revs, a group of men jump out of the bushes, “what do we have here?”
“two young girls,” one smiles at you.
“damn black dragons,” yuzuha mutters under her breath.
“we dont go easy on girls, whoever is in our way..will be eliminated!”
‘this is going too fast ! too fast ! we’re suddenly being attacked by delinquents?’
you’ve seen yuzuha fight before, as her kicks are powerful to knock one man down, but can she knock five?
doubt and cold starts eating you away, you dont know how much longer you can stay standing.
out of breath as well, it’s hard to breath when it’s so cold, your knuckles bruised and red, you endure the sharp pain.
“behind you ..!”
you turn, not sure what you’re seeing, maybe a pipe?
the cold is really getting to you, the floor spun, eventually fading to pitch black. there’s pain from somewhere, but you’re sure it’s just because you’re so worn from fighting,,right?
someone’s jacket lands on you, the pain slowly fades into numbness.
the snow is painted red. dark red.
“(y/n)!” yuzuha cries.
huh?
“it feels warm, safe and comforting here, but i feel like im suffocating..it’s hard to breath. it hurts.”
“dont worry (y/n) im taking you to the hospital,” someone huffs.
someone’s voice you know.
“chifuyu?”
“dont leave me,“ he pants.
“we’re still friends right?” you ask him.
“yeah.”
“even if i..”
silence.
he stands in the snow with you on his back, yuzuha and takemichi following. harsh wind with snow blows his face.
everything stopped.
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noodles rest on someone’s grave.
flowers rest on another.
but the one who grieves remain the same.
he gently placed down the noodles without spilling, as he lays a rose in a glass holder.
he sits in between the stones.
“don’t be jealous of whose getting more attention okay? haha.”
he wipes his eyes with a handkerchief, “a lot happened ever since you two left.”
“we defeated the black dragon’s leader, we won against tenjin, but i guess everything has an end. and for some reason, the things i care about most have the earliest endings.”
“toman disbanded, i was surprised by mikey’s decision, i mean everyone was. i don’t know what’s he’s doing now, the death of shinichiro, baji, emma and izana must’ve hit him hard…we’re in high school now, i got a job at the pet store. im living as much i can everyday, but sometimes being simply alive is rough.”
“everyone is doing well, i hope guys are too. pah chin and kazutora got out of juvie, he inherited his dad’s real estate business. peh yan follows him around like usual, mitsuya is finding a place to have his studio, hakkai gets scouted by modeling agencies, a lot has changed.”
he sighs.
“i’ll be ready for the day you guys are born again,”
he stares at the stone with flowers, seeing you stand there, asking a trivial question.
“it’s just like seeing her again, for the first time.”
he laughs at himself, “i wonder what i would do if i had you guys by my side right now ,, honestly im starting to forget what you guys look like.”
“i would do anything to understand what you said on that day.” he stares at where you once stood.
he sat between the two stones,
alone again.