Chapter Text
There wasn't much in the world that Kun loved more than music. His family. Probably his cat. Nothing else came close to the feeling of boundless freedom and creativity that only music allowed him to experience. He had given up everything for his dream of making music professionally, a job that would satisfy both his own ambitions and the doctors who continuously increased his grandma's hospital bills. The risk had been huge, and it still was now, but he had no other choice. At some point he had considered applying to flight school, making use of one of his other interests. But the thought of being up in the air his whole life, never truly settling down on earth long enough to find a family of his own, was too daunting. Out of the many talents he had, music was the one thing he could never give up. Not for a corporate job or any person. He was aware that he needed to succeed, and he was willing to make the inevitable sacrifices.
Leaving the country, his home, had been hard. As he watched Beijing's lights fade out into looming clouds on his flight to Seoul last year, he could no longer hold back his tears. The brave, excited smile he had shown his family at the departure terminal breaking when the plane steadied itself in the night sky. The woman in the seat next to him had put on a pair of headphones and pretended not to notice his muffled sobs. When he looked outside the small window with redtrimmed eyes, only a few stars blinked back at him. That was the first time he learned to be afraid of flying.
But above all, despite the hardships he anticipated, going abroad to study was a lonely affair. He could have stayed in China, find a university course that allowed him to take up one, maybe even two part-time jobs on the side. Except the scholarship Seoul National University offered to a number of foreign students every year was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He had the talent, the grades and the passport to qualify for it. So he uprooted his own life, leaving behind his friends and everything he knew. But even though what awaited him were 50 million strangers, he didn't regret his decision. Loneliness was a small price to pay for his dream.
Someone knocked on the door to his room, softly first and then louder when Kun didn't hear them. He pulled down his headphones at the same time as his roommate pushed the door open.
"I'm ordering pizza. Do you want some?", Johnny asked. He was already dressed for bed, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips. They both knew that it was too late for a healthy dinner anyway. The LED clock standing next to Kun's second monitor showed 11.23pm in white, luminous digits.
"I don't know", Kun stalled although he could feel his stomach rumbling in agreement, "I need to finish my notes for at least chapter one and two of this tonight."
He held up the book that he'd borrowed from the campus library earlier that day. Its pages were worn, flipped through by generations of students.
"You know you have to take a break sometimes, right?", Johnny said, his voice surprisingly soft, "getting some pizza won't make you fail this class."
"Maybe", Kun admitted eventually, "yeah okay, let me know when the food gets here?"
Johnny did a mock salute and left to find his phone. The promise of pizza made the prospect of staying up all night to study seem somewhat less dreadful. Perhaps the knot he'd been feeling in his stomach for the past few hours had been hunger, and not hopelessness after all.
There wasn't much in the world that Kun hated more than ethnomusicology. Sexism. Probably bad food. But in the context of his university, ethnomusicology was in undisputed first place. It was an interesting subject, fascinating really. Kun simply felt like he didn't have nearly enough knowledge on Italy's society in the 18th century to accurately assess the impact music had on the country's social hierarchy at that time. The professor who was conducting this semester's course on ethnomusicology had taken none of their opinions into account when choosing the topics for their group projects. Accordingly, Kun was suffering greatly. He abandoned the book and chose to scroll through the search results on his computer instead. When he took a bite out of the pizza that was lying on a plate next to his MIDI keyboard, he grimaced. It had already gone cold.
After suffering in silence for another five minutes, he opened a new tab on the browser and pushed his headphones back over his ears again. Familiar beats filtered in, almost immediately calming his irritated mood. The only thing that helped him when he got caught up in his own head, stressed by the mere thought of studying music, was music itself. It was ironic in a way, that he needed to listen to music in order to focus on studying its theory and history. When he put on his headphones, their noise cancelling setting shutting out the world, it reminded him of all the reasons why he loved music so much. Even if what he usually listened to while studying was vastly different from the songs he personally liked to produce.
A few months ago, on the search for playlists on Youtube when Spotify's recommendations had let him down, he stumbled upon a number of interesting videos and livestreams. Most of them had similar thumbnails, digital drawings of characters and places. Whimsical sceneries that seemed strangely nostalgic were suddenly spread all over the screen. Kun had clicked on the most popular one. Its art style was reminiscent of the Studio Ghibli movies he used to watch as a child. Back then, the movies had been equally fascinating and terrifying to him. Their beauty was bizarrely intimidating.
He had listened to Lofi music before, albeit not intentionally. As background music in videos it was enjoyable enough, but he never really considered listening to it just for the sake of truly hearing it. For a while he had just stared at the screen, entranced by the music and the almost hypnotic animation of a girl writing the same line into a notebook over and over again. Sitting on the windowsill was a cat that reminded him of his own, Leon. The mellow beats and flowing melodies were everything he didn't know he needed. And he turned to them for comfort and inspiration ever since.
On most nights he flipped between channels, looking for that one playlist or livestream to capture and fit his mood perfectly. A lot of times however, he ended up choosing channels he was already familiar with and livestreams over playlists so his concentration wouldn’t be interrupted by ad breaks. When he finally settled on one, he usually expanded the video to fit the full screen of his second monitor. He barely used it while studying, only when he had his producing and recording programs open to make his own music. This way he effectively avoided any distractions too. With the simple animations and beautiful drawings as company, hours often trickled away without notice. That day however, the comment section next to the livestream was a tempting distraction. He couldn’t hear the abandoned library book calling his name over the endless string of songs.
Frida Feels
anyone wanna write my essay for me
i can pay you with my tears and gratitude
LDA
@Frida Feels You got this!! Keep going
Kay Wisz
я люблю сыр
Kun scrolled past a few English comments and what he assumed was Russian. He was fairly confident in his own language capabilities, but they were mostly limited to Mandarin and Korean. The English he had learned in school had largely been replaced by slang learned on the internet and the Korean he hastily had to pick up on when he moved there. Even less helpful in his everyday life were the few Cantonese words some of his friends had taught him back at home. His heart ached briefly, like a sharp twinge after running for too long. Somewhere, a thousand kilometres away, Dejun was probably sleeping soundly.
Novak
pozdrav svima kako ste
Susan Williams
Please speak English.
The comments were passing by slowly enough for Kun to read some English ones anyway. On the other constantly playing livestream, the most popular one of its kind, it was impossible to catch anyone’s words even with the slow chat mode enabled.
José DaSilva
where is everyone from?? I’m from BRAZIL!
Susan Williams
United States of America. Oklahoma.
José DaSilva
I’m from Brazil! BR BR
Frida Feels
@José DaSilva we know that,, you just said it
Ten10_0
I live in seoul!!
that’s south korea for u americans
The familiar word stood out before Kun even managed to read the two sentences. Seoul. His gaze remained stuck on the username Ten10_0 for a second longer, as more replies already came in.
MinniMicky
Who else is working on homework? haha
KPOPforLyfe0592
@Ten10_0 omg how old are you? oppaa *-*
Ten10_0
I’m 23 hehe
For all his life, Kun believed that one should always follow a certain set of rules when navigating online spaces. As someone who grew up with flip phones and watched the rise of smartphones as he got older, that attitude had been drilled into his mindset by his mother during the considerably earlier days of the internet. 1. Don’t share your real name. 2. Don’t share your age. 3. And don’t ever, under no circumstances, share where you live. Ten10_0, age 23 and living in Seoul, had broken most of these rules within seconds. It was none of Kun’s business, but his eyes nervously flit back and forth between the Wikipedia page for Italian Opera and the comment section of the livestream anyway. For all he knew, that Ten person might actually be a twelve year old girl exposing herself to the dangers of the internet by lying to strangers.
面包熊
@Ten10_0 you shouldn’t share personal information
KPOPforLyfe0592
omG!!! That’s korean ♡-♡
Kay Wisz
я люблю сыр
Frida Feels
i’m still crying over my essay btw
When the username he was looking for didn’t show up immediately, Kun was quickly overcome by regret. He had invaded his own private place, the precious comfort zone he found in these livestreams, by interacting with it. All for the sake of a random person he should have never even noticed if only he was actually studying.
Ten10_0
oh bread guy
your concern flatters me
but I’m just having some fun
The sudden use of Korean made Kun perk up. But it still took a second for him to realise that he was the one being called bread guy. After the initial confusion, his brows furrowed slightly, it was an obvious hint at his own username. The fact that this Ten person must have been able to read Chinese to at least some extent made them, unfortunately, all the more intriguing. They were the perfect distraction, paired with Kun’s favourite music to make up his personal recipe for disaster and a failed class of ethnomusicology.
面包熊
@Ten10_0 why didn’t you just @ me
José DaSilva
Brazil won Olympic gold for football!! BR
Ten10_0
dear bread guy
I don’t have a chinese keyboard on my phone
Crumbs of the cold pizza Kun had just picked back up again got caught in his throat. The coughs that raked his body all of a sudden were so strong, that his eyes watered as he watched the message get buried under a stream of new comments. He pushed his headphones down, reflexively sitting up straight to catch his breath.
“Everything okay?”, Johnny asked from where he was sitting in their small living room. It was impossible to see the sofa from Kun’s desk, but he usually kept his door slightly ajar for Leon to walk in whenever he wanted. Over time this had developed into shouted, casual conversations with Johnny and a noise complaint from their downstairs neighbour.
“’m fine!”, Kun assured him hurriedly. He barely had enough time to get back into a comfortable position on his cheap desk chair, before another Korean message showed up on his screen.
Ten10_0
but I can talk about myself some more ~~
if you want
Even if Kun had wanted to reply something, he would have had no chance to do so. Because immediately after this more messages rolled in at increased frequency, purposely written in both English and Korean so everyone could understand them.
Ten10_0
do any of you know how your parents got together?
I have a really nice story about mine
anyone wanna hear it?
Lukasz
No
Frida Feels
@Ten10_0 yes please
anything to distract me from this essay
Ten10_0
Okay so! story time
I grew up as an only child
my mother worked day and night to make our hotel a success
one day I wanted to invite my dad for a party
the problem? you may ask
I didn’t know who he was
so I invited three men who I thought could be him
in the end my mom fell in love again after reuniting with him
her one true love
KPOPforLyfe0592
That’s soooo romantic oppa *__*
Susan Williams
That is rather sweet.
My husband and I met in Middle School.
Frida Feels
good news everyone!
i wrote five more words for my essay
Even with his limited English skills, Kun could tell that something about the replies was off. None of them seemed to realise what this Ten was doing. They were playing them in the most obvious way, and yet no one called them out on it. The lies were so blatant and shameless that Kun couldn’t help but huff, an incredulous look etched onto his sleep deprived face. Not only was this person messing with everyone in this comment section. They did it specifically to annoy Kun. In the end, Kun had to take it on himself to set things straight to the best of his abilities.
面包熊
Ten10_0 is Mamma Mia
KPOPforLyfe0592
No, he isn’t italian! he’s korean
面包熊
No! He says movie Mamma Mia
During his weekend stay in London a few years ago, Kun hadn’t felt this frustrated at his own lacking English skills. He had no idea what Ten looked like, their gender or their appearance, but he could vividly imagine them laughing about the way Kun tried and failed to expose their nonsense. The animation of the Lofi Girl sleeping peacefully in her bed somehow felt mocking now too. Like she was just pretending to be asleep to spare him further embarrassment. Feeling awake for the first time in hours that night, Kun’s cheeks warmed significantly.
Ten10_0
Nooo! bread guy figured out my secret
But you told me not to share my real personal information
oh and my mom got back together with Pierce Brosnan
Susan Williams
I am confused.
Chad Denforth Fans
I cant believe you spoiled that movie
fuck you @Ten10_0
Ten10_0
It came out in 2008??
The feeling of fur curling itself around Kun’s shin startled him out of his thoughts. In the darkness of his bedroom, only lit by a few purple LED lights placed around the desk, Leon was nothing more than a shadow between Kun’s legs. Careful not to press down on his stomach, Kun picked up the brown cat.
“Are you here to check up on me?”, he asked in Mandarin, the words sounding strange to his own ears after not using the language all day, “how did you know that I’m wasting my time?”
He pressed a soft kiss on top of Leon’s head. Then another. But the moment didn’t last long, the young cat swarming its way out of his hold and onto the desk. With practiced ease, Kun pulled the cloth cover over his MIDI keyboard. His right hand grabbed the plate with the leftover pieces of burnt pizza crust, so Leon couldn’t get to it. When he chanced another glance at his monitor, it seemed like not much had changed while he’d been distracted by, in his humble opinion, the world’s best cat.
Ten10_0
Dancing KING
young and free only twenty-threee
ohhh yeeeaaAAAH
Chad Denforth Fans
@Ten10_0 I’ll report you as spam
Despite Kun’s own doubts in his English, he could easily recognise the familiar lyrics. He sighed and pulled Leon in closer again, the warmth of his small body even more comforting than the music he had been listening to earlier. No one else was there to see him hide a hint of a smile in his cat’s fur.
Ten10_0
@Chad Denforth Fans don’t bother, I’m about to leave
Goodnight everyone!
About a minute later, the same username showed up one more time. Kun’s eyes darted to the Korean letters like a moth to the light.
Ten10_0
It’s late, you should get some sleep
Goodnight
This time, there was no indication that those words were directed at Kun. He wasn’t going to assume anything based on the choice of language alone. Perhaps Ten, if that was even their name, was simply trying to show off their multilingual talents. After all, they seemed to enjoy being the centre of attention. Something Kun could hardly relate to. What Kun never wanted to be accused of however was being impolite, even to strangers on the internet. So he settled on a message that was as ambiguous as it was genuine. With two clicks of his mouse, he switched the language of his keyboard from Korean to English.
面包熊
Goodnight