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Hunter is unable to discern when waiting for Edric to emerge from Hexside School became a part of his life, the mermaid-haired boy often surprising him from behind with illusion spells, each time in different ways, whether it be invisibility, a school teacher, or an oddly suspicious walking trash can, but he doesn't question it. A lifetime ago he could barely imagine helping some insolent troublemaker skip school, yet Hunter is well aware that he can't possibly return to that timeline, having left Belos for the sake of his pailsman, Rascal. He's picked up Edric's pranks, the two of them often taping hex me signs on unsuspecting students and performing other immature tricks for cheap laughs.
There's a certain thrill to having broken more rules than he ever imagined, an unfamiliar territory that could not be charted despite the amount of time the two witches have spent together. It's fun, Hunter realized, it's the most fun he's ever had, and he's not sure if he can ever let that go.
But some things cannot be changed, old habits instilled inside of him. There’s space between every moment when seaborne hazy clouds float by and the afternoon sun glares in their faces. An abyss swallowing footprints that takes up his sleepless nights. A taunt, a reminder, a torment, and for whatever it is, Hunter will never be able to not hear Belo’s chiding voice inside in his head, or see the gleam of blue eyes shadowed beneath a mask. It’s something that comes up unprompted, but when it happens Hunter lets the memory of what should have been, sink inside of him, holding onto a title he can longer be.
-
“Your hair’s soft”, Edric comments quite loudly one day, his hand brushing the blonde boy’s head. They’re both sitting at the crook of a tree, the two hiding in the woods after giving a little “surprise” to a very angry merchant. Golden light filters through the tree leaves, like rivers made of sun curving through swampy banks. Hunter takes a peek at him and immediately looks away when Edric meets his gaze back with a smile, his amber eyes glimmering having caught the setting sun rays.
Hunter’s heart swells, and it’s a type of giddiness that he isn’t used to, one that might make him faint. Edric is infectious, in the way he causes Hunter’s face to heat up and his heartbeat to accelerate. It’s painful almost, the strange feeling that rests alongside his ribcage, buried deep and eroding all the walls around his heart. Despite it all, scattered caves and cliffs still stood among his blood, unable to be washed away.
And Hunter knows better.
He knows what this means, he knows that this cannot last, and he knows that time is the only thing keeping him from being pulled away back into Belo’s grasp. He can no longer push away what the future carries for him, the web of lies he’s entangled himself into. He will leave one day, either by choice or force, and Hunter refuses to look back at the crumbled mess he’s creating. Broken columns and abandoned buildings and flickering torch lights obscured by fog. Hastily wiped away tears and hoarse voices trying to make sense of the threads escaping from his stitched together world.
He knows.
But knowing isn’t enough, it doesn’t clear away the ceiling when he’s supposed to be lulled towards sleep, it doesn’t erase the tingling feeling in his scars every time he’s reminded of Belos, and it doesn’t fill the gap between his and Edric’s hands.
Ignorance is bliss and Hunter cannot compensate for the jagged feeling tugging at his soul.
“Thank you”, Hunter says, turning away from the crooked grin resting on the face of a boy who’s so deeply engraved in his mind. Edric has a mole beneath his eye and Hunter wants to run his finger over it, to touch all the valleys and callouses and dips on Edric’s face. He wants to see how Edric’s golden eyes look when their noses are pressed together, to see the cracks of his eyelids up close, and to run his hands through selkie hair.
This is bound to end in shambles, Hunter thinks. A travesty of romance.
“You look nice”, Hunter says, trying to mimic Edric’s compliments. It doesn’t sound quite right coming from him, as if he was reading from a script and not the tightening feelings inside his chest. He savors Edric’s words and repeats them in his head during insomniac nights, yet attempting to give that back only makes Hunter feel lost.
Edric laughs. It’s a sweet sound. Like the scent of lavender and spring wind chimes.
“Thanks”, Edric cheerfully replies. Hunter wonders if it’s sarcastic, a joke on the behalf of his misplaced compliment, but he can’t bear to think of failing anything right now, so he accepts it as what it is.
The trees tower above them, reaching for the darkening skies. It’s like they’re the only two people left in the world, stumbling through branches and shaky stone paths, spent by midnight thoughts and loud silences. and drunken hearts. Wandering in possibilities and fairytale endings.
“I-“, Hunter tries to speak, only to immediately close his mouth. Mentally he reprimands himself for thinking of confessing, for almost spitting out his “very obvious crush”, (according to Eda). His cheeks flush scarlet, and Hunter buries his face into his arms in embarrassment.
“Is anything wrong?”, Edric asks, tilting his head in concern.
“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s great!”, Hunter says, plastering a grin over his face. Only me , he thinks. His hands fidget as he stares at the sunset, the orange circle melting against the soil in hues of pink and yellow, pulling down the night stars, as twilight absorbed the remaining rays of the sun.
“I’m really glad I met you”, Hunter blurts out, because even if he cannot confess, he had to at least say something before he combusts from the flames inside of him. “I’ve never been able to let loose, as the human puts it, before all of this”. Hunter takes a deep breath, trying to calm to butterflies fluttering inside his stomach. “And I’m happier now too”.
The last line is true, yet when it slips from Hunter’s mouth, it feels like a lie. He is happier now, he supposes, the morning becoming less of a chore and more so just life. But the moments he has now are broken, illusions hiding what was to become of cheeky smiles and golden light. Hunter is a defect, a ticking bomb. Hurt is inevitable, and it stung.
“I’m glad I met you too”, Edric says, almost shyly. “I didn’t know how lonely I was before you came along”.
Silence follows and fireflies rise from the bushes, twinkling among the grass like faint alien tears.
Suddenly, Edric’s face is only a few inches away from his, and Hunter can give names to every shade of gold in Edric’s eyes.
“Can I kiss you?”, Hunter whispers, except it’s less of a whisper and more of a strangely hushed yelp. It’s selfish. He’s selfish. To want this, to ask for this, to travel through the tempting road hand in hand with Edric, leading him to a dead end.
“Yes”, Edric whispers back.
Hunter presses his lips against Edric’s and it’s perfect, it’s so goddamn perfect, the way Edric’s arm is wrapped around his back, Hunter’s hand stroking the tips of Edric’s hair, the way universes seem to collapse and emerge for this very moment, fires lit ablaze across oceans, streaks of stardust cascading into the earth, as the two held onto each other, dizzy and warm and swelling upon the kiss.
Somewhere along the line, the spell fades, and Hunter takes the moment in, smiling at how his lips are clumsily unaligned with Edric. He opens his eyes the tiniest crack, meeting Edric’s eyelashes, and he giggles, holding him tighter. There’s a magical warmth to it all, a sweetness like stolen fruit picked apart in the rising sun. Edric’s eyes open, the gold appearing as if they’re the shimmering light of dawn. He laughs, and Hunter marvels at how the curve of his mouth feels.
Belos wouldn’t approve, his mind whispers.
Hunter pulls away from Edric, stumbling a little.
“Are you okay?”, Edric asks, and Hunter notes the glint of hurt on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”.
“You didn’t do anything wrong”, Hunter says, avoiding the first question. He’d tell Edric one day. Hunter claps his hand around Edric’s, their fingers intertwining. “I was just...surprised, I guess”. Mentally, Hunter curses his sweaty palms, but Edric doesn’t seem to notice, squeezing the blonde boy’s hand. It’s nice, Hunter thinks. A break from the spinning world he’d thrown himself into, a moment of clarity.
“I am too”, Edric says, sighing in relief.
“Hunter”, he whispers.
“Edric”, Hunter whispers. “Why are we saying each other’s names?”.
“I don’t know”, Edric whispers back, and the two erupt into laughter, the liveliness contrasting the quiet of the woods.
It’s dark out now, but the night is cloudless. A thousand stars dot the sky, their reflections scattering across the horizon like spilled glitter, tiny beacons of hope for all the broken souls scorched yet warmed by flame.
“Let’s go home now”, Edric says. “Mom’s going to murder me for staying out this late”.
Hunter nods, a faint smile forming on his lips.
I think I’m already there .