Chapter Text
Chat Noir sat on a rooftop alone, waiting for Ladybug to show up to patrol. He didn’t really know why he even bothered. She usually didn’t show up. He understood that she was busy — he really did — but it still hurt. And it didn’t help that he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being left out of the loop, and the feeling that one day she just wouldn’t need him. It already felt like he wasn’t needed.
Below him, Paris was bustling. It was a weekend evening, the sun slowly receeding, so that was to be expected. Children were giggling with their parents, teenagers where teasing their friends, and couples held hands as they walked. It was a beautiful sight, but it didn’t cheer him up. He wasn’t sure what would.
At first, when Ladybug became the Guardian, Chat didn’t think things would change that much. Ladybug knew she could count on him, and he was always ready to be the shoulder she needed to lean on. But, quickly, it became apparent that she wasn’t going to come to him for help. She was constantly stressed, but no matter how often he asked, she wouldn’t tell him anything. So, he let it go.
But then he learned that Carapace and Rena Rouge knew each other’s identities. Instead of learning it from Ladybug — his partner — he learned it as Adrien from Nino. And it hurt. So much. He couldn’t understand why they’d know each other’s identities and why Ladybug had never said anything. Partners shared things that were important, didn’t they?
Didn’t she trust him?
Chat Noir heard the zip of Ladybug’s yo-yo, and sat up. She landed beside him breathlessly, quickly sitting down. She smiled at him, blue eyes shining, “Hey, kitty.”
On any other day, he would’ve smiled right back. His mood would’ve lifted instantly just because his lady was beside him. His heart would’ve stuttered at how beautiful she looked in the city lights, smiling at him so happily. But that didn’t happen that night.
He looked away, muttering a quick, “Hey, Ladybug. We should probably start on patrol, right?” He stood up quickly, his baton already in hand. He felt a hand on his arm.
He could hear Ladybug’s frown in her voice, “Chat, wait. I have to tell you something.”
He paused. Was she going to tell him about Carapace and Rena Rouge? Maybe he’d been to quick to judge. After all, Ladybug told him she trusted him with her life. Why wouldn’t she trust him with that information?
Slowly, he put his baton away and sat down. “Ok, what’s up?”
He noticed she was tense, like there was something important she wanted to say. She wrung her fingers together like she always did when she was anxious. “I…” She sighed and tried again. “I told someone my identity.”
All at once, Chat Noir’s heart broke. She didn’t trust him. Ladybug really didn’t trust him. “What?” He whispered.
She waved her arms around, voice frantic. “It-it wasn’t on purpose! I was cracking under the pressure and I lashed out at my friends. I felt horrible, and I broke down. One of my friends stayed behind, and I—“
“You told her,” he finished for her. It was miracle he could still hear her when all his mind was screaming was, She doesn’t trust you. It was absurd that his mind kept screaming that when she’d just told him she’d broken down.
She nodded, teary eyed. “I promise I didn’t plan on doing that. I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared of hurting you, Chat.”
He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. It hurt, knowing that someone knew her identity despite the rule that she’d put in place. But, Ladybug said she’d been having a meltdown. It wouldn’t be fair of him to lash out at her.
“Is there anything else you have to tell me?” He throat was unbelievably dry, and the words felt harsh. Maybe if he asked she’d tell him about Carapace and Rena Rouge. Maybe she still trusted him at least enough to tell him that.
She pursued her lips. “I-yeah.” There was a pause, as though she was trying to figure out how to word things. “Rena Rouge is a permanent holder.”
“What?” This time his question was louder, more bewildered. “Even though Hawk Moth targeted her? Ladybug—“
“I know, I know!” She sighed, “She’s undercover with a new suit and a new name, Rena Furtive. No one, not even Hawk Moth, knows this.” She sighed, “It’s gonna be fine. I think. But that’s all.”
So, she wasn’t going to tell him. What other things was she hiding? How much did he not know? “You forgot something,” he said evenly. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but he cut her off. “Carapace and Rena Rouge know each other’s identities. I had to learn it from Carapace, instead of hearing it from you.”
Her face dropped. “I-I was gonna—“
“No, you weren’t. You just said that was all and yet you were still keeping something from me.” Chat Noir sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Why don’t you just trust me? Aren’t we partners?”
“Chat, of course we—“
He knew she’d tell him they were partners, equals. He didn’t want to hear it. “No. I’m just a sidekick, right? Just like everyone always says.”
Because if it were true, if they were really equals, he wouldn’t be kept out of the loop. She didn’t trust him, just like his father didn’t trust him. She kept him out of the loop, out of the know, just like his father. He hated being treated like that. He thought he could escape it. Apparently, he was wrong.
Ladybug didn’t trust him and he had no idea why. He’d stuck to the rules, he’d stopped flirting so much, he made sure to do his job right. He’d messed up a couple of times but she always said she forgave him. So why couldn’t she trust him?
Ladybug didn’t trust him. And because she didn’t, he clearly wasn’t the right person to be Chat Noir. Tears welled up in his eyes at the thought of renouncing Plagg. His kwami was his only companion, the only one who really knew him and stayed despite everything. His heart screamed at him to reconsider, but his mind knew what he had to do.
“I’m not the person for this job, so I suggest you look for someone else.” He walked behind a chimney, twisting his ring as he took a shaky breath. Ladybug called for him, but he ignored her. “Plagg, I renounce you.”
Gingerly, he placed his ring where Ladybug could see it, but not him. He was going to miss Plagg, he was going to miss Ladybug, but he had to do what he had to do. “Goodbye, Ladybug.”
“Chat, wait!” Ladybug cried.
Instead of doing as told, he climbed down the fire escape and ran home.