Chapter Text
Chat Noir sighed, holding Ladybug close as they cuddled on a rooftop, their backs against the uncomfortable brick of a chimney. He’d been thinking for a long time, and even if he didn’t want to break up with Ladybug, he knew it was for the best. He’d always imagined taking his lady out on dates, each one filled with laughter and affection. But they couldn’t do that with their identities in the way, and it wasn’t safe to reveal them.
Ladybug could deny it all she wanted to, but he saw the way she looked at couples that passed by on the streets when they’d patrol. Couples openly being affectionate, holding hands, holding each other, kissing; couples unafraid to show off their love to the world. They couldn’t have that. Not when Hawk Moth was still around. Chat Noir couldn’t give that to her, and he knew it was taking its toll on their relationship.
Their arguments grew more frequent. The more he loved her, the more he went out of his way to make sure she didn’t get hurt. That meant he’d get hit and die more often than not. They’d usually end up having a screaming match after that. But why couldn’t she understand that he couldn’t live with himself if she got hurt when he could’ve stopped it? Why couldn’t she see that her powers could bring him back and his couldn’t do the same with her?
Ladybug deserved to have a normal relationship. She deserved the world, really, and he’d give it to her if he could. But he couldn’t give her what they both wanted. They couldn’t go on normal dates, they had to keep their relationship a secret, and they had to act as though nothing had changed. But after she’d kissed him six months ago, everything had.
Unbidden, the memories came flooding back. They’d been stargazing after that night’s patrol. He’d been making up constellations from the bright stars that peeked through the light pollution. Most of them were cat and bug related puns like the mew-gician. Ladybug had actually laughed at that one.
He’d looked at her then, cheeks slightly flushed as she laughed, the beautiful sound music to his ears. Chat hadn’t been thinking when the word beautiful slipped from his mouth. She’d abruptly stopped laughed, staring at him with wide eyes, her mouth in a perfect little ‘o’ shape. Then she’d smiled shyly, “You’re beautiful, too.”
His inevitable blush had caused her to giggle, and next thing he knew, she’d pecked him on the lips. He came back to his senses quickly enough to hold her close and kiss her back. Then they’d kissed again and again under the light of the stars and the moon.
The memory made him want to stop and reconsider. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. They still had each other, and surely they’d defeat Hawk Moth soon, right? But then again, they’d been fighting him for over three years already. The two of them were quickly approaching the end of their high school years. Ladybug deserved to live her life and date whoever she wanted.
Who would take her to prom? Who would she take to the end-of-the-year party? His school was planning to have a party the day of graduation to celebrate, too. He didn’t want her to be a third wheel because they couldn’t be there together. He’d been the third wheel with Alya and Nino enough times to know it wasn’t fun.
Finally, he steeled himself, speaking before he thought about it any longer. He’d thought about it for days already, anyway. This was for the best. Even if he still loved her, so, so much, he wanted her to be happy. Even if thinking about her with someone else hurt him, he wanted her to be happy.
“Ladybug,” he said quietly. She looked up him, big, sapphire blue eyes questioning. He opened his mouth then closed it again. How was he supposed to do this? He swallowed, knowing his eyes stung because tears were already forming. He moved away from her, standing up. “I don’t think this is working out.”
“What?” She sounded hurt, maybe even heartbroken. “Kitty,” she stood up, placing a hand on his arm, “what are you talking about?”
Chat Noir pulled his arm away from her, looking at the city. He couldn’t look at her, he couldn’t bear to see her blue eyes fill with tears. “I want you to be happy, and I think you can find that with someone else. With someone who can give you everything I can’t.” His bottom lip trembled and his voice wavered. He wiped his tears away hurriedly, clearing his throat. “Goodbye, Ladybug.”
He left then, vaulting away from Ladybug, away from his love, away from everything that he’d ever wanted. Because he wanted her to be happy, and he knew he couldn’t give her happiness like she deserved.