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She’s not being subtle at all, Nobara realizes the third time Fushiguro shoots her a suspicious glance over dinner. They’re eating with the second years again, Fushiguro and Itadori on one side, Panda and Inumaki on opposite ends, leaving her and Maki sitting next to each other. It seems Nobara is doing a terrible job at hiding her nerves. Her hands are definitely shaking. She’s dropped too many meatballs to just be clumsy. Maybe she’s sweating, too.
Maki’s shoulder brushes against her as she reaches for another meatball. Nobara jolts, dropping her chopsticks onto her plate.
“Ah, sorry,” Maki says.
“You’re good!” Nobara squeaks. “I’m just a klutz. You know how it is sometimes. Just got butterfingers, that’s all!”
Fushiguro gives her another pointed look.
“It’s okay, Kugisaki,” Itadori pipes up. “I’m super clumsy. I drop stuff all the time!”
“We know,” Fushiguro deadpans. “Kugisaki.”
“Yeah?” she croaks.
“You know Maki and I are related, right?”
“‘Course I know. You think I’m stupid or what?”
He nods solemnly. “Just checking.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Nobara is a little too aware now of her flaming cheeks and she’s sure Fushiguro can tell just how far that blush is spreading. She clears her throat awkwardly.
“So… how ‘bout we steal some beer from the staff room?”
To her immense relief, everyone agrees. Panda and Maki volunteer to carry out the mission, shuffling out of the room in what is quite possibly the least stealthy way possible. Nobara is grateful for the empty space beside her, though the deafening silence left behind is making her leg vibrate under the table.
“Tuna.”
“Inumaki-senpai is right. You’re shaking the whole table, Kugisaki,” Fushiguro says annoyedly.
“Sorry,” she sighs. “I guess I’m just kinda on edge tonight.”
“Aw, what’s wrong?” Itadori asks. He leans forward, naive puppy-dog eyes boring into her.
“She’s being a simp,” Fushiguro replies, pulling Itadori back by the shoulder.
“What’s a simp?” he asks, turning toward him with wide, innocent eyes, a look that even Nobara can admit is ridiculously cute on his dumb face.
Fushiguro’s ears suddenly turn red. “Doesn’t matter. She’s just being stupid.”
“Bonito flakes!” Inumaki scolds.
“Sorry. She’s being foolish. ”
“Spicy cod roe.”
Fushiguro rolls his eyes. Before Nobara can insult him back, Maki and Panda return with alcohol in tow. Inumaki whoops, catching a beer tossed at him by Panda and cracking it open in one fluid motion. Fushiguro takes a tentative sip from his and Itadori swallows a huge gulp before spluttering and coughing everywhere. Nobara snorts as Panda violently smacks him on the back.
“Want one?”
She looks to her side to see Maki holding out a can for her to take. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Nobara pulls the tab open and tosses her head back, closing her eyes as the bitter liquid sears her throat. It’s not entirely pleasant but she’s used to it, having had a few drinks with her cousins before. Maki watches in amusement.
“Looks like you’ve done this before, huh?”
Nobara chokes on her drink. She coughs it back and Maki laughs, patting her on the back. “I take it back.”
Nobara shakes her head frantically. “No no, I’ve had alcohol before. You just surprised me, that’s all. I’m used to it. I can handle my alcohol. I’ve had drinks before.” God, what’s with Maki and making her ramble like a maniac?
“I believe you,” Maki chuckles. She expertly takes a swig of her own drink with no sign of discomfort. Nobara stares as she swallows, mesmerized by the bob of her throat and the way her tongue swipes at her bottom lip to catch the residual beer.
“Wow, Kugisaki, your face is so red!” Itadori exclaims.
She glares daggers at him. “It’s the alcohol!”
“Sure,” Fushiguro snorts. “What happened to being able to handle it?”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t get flushed when I drink,” she huffs.
He simply raises his eyebrows bemusedly and takes another sip of his own drink. Itadori looks at him quizzically. Fushiguro leans in to whisper something into his ear and Nobara is forced to watch in horror as Itadori’s eyes go wide and his mouth forms an ‘O’ in realization.
“Shut up, Fushiguro! Hasn’t anyone ever told you gossiping is a shitty thing to do?” She kicks at his shin under the table.
“Bonito flakes!”
“Sorry, Inumaki-senpai,” she responds sheepishly.
“Kelp.”
“It’s okay, Nobara,” Maki says, clapping her on the shoulder. The contact burns through her shirt and brands her skin. She can practically feel every line and swirl on Maki’s hand. “We’ve got our own secrets from the boys, right?”
She gulps. “Yup! Totally!”
And boy, does she have a big one. Though, by the exasperated look on Fushiguro’s face and the knowing one on Itadori’s, they are already well aware. It’s not as if they tell her everything, though! She’s seen the way Fushiguro turns bright red when Itadori takes off his shirt after they spar in the sun. She’s seen the way Itadori goes quiet when Fushiguro turns in early from their movie nights. They’re not subtle, though, she knows now, neither is she. But she swore months ago that she wouldn’t get involved, not with their budding romance and certainly not with her own.
As they continue to drink, their banter quickly devolves into bubbling, drunken laughter. Itadori is telling some hilarious story – or maybe they’re just too inebriated to know the difference – about how he joined the occult club. Fushiguro is turned away from him but Nobara can tell he’s hanging on to every word. She’s relaxed, invested in whatever antics Itadori is describing, until Maki suddenly rests her head on Nobara’s shoulder.
She stiffens. Maki’s hair is unexpectedly soft, and the weight of her feels pleasantly heavy on Nobara’s shoulder. Torn between leaning into the touch and running for the hills, she stares at Fushiguro in shock, silently imploring him to help her. He simply shrugs at her misfortune. She glares, ready to bite back, when Maki shifts and her hand lands on Nobara’s thigh.
She’s just tipsy, she mouths across the table. Fushiguro rolls his eyes and Itadori pauses his animated storytelling to send her an exaggerated wink.
She groans internally. Of course these two are no fucking help. She’s so tempted to run, but Maki’s hand squeezes her thigh lightly.
“Mm, Nobara,” she murmurs. “You’re so warm.”
In an instant, Nobara’s mind is made up.
“Fuck it,” she whispers. It’s not like Maki will remember any of this in the morning. Hell, she might not even remember. She leans her head atop Maki’s and intertwines their fingers below the table.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing,” she reassures the older girl. “You’re warm too.”
---
As it turns out, Nobara, nervousness, and alcohol make for a killer combination. She drinks more and more as the night goes on to mask her embarrassingly red complexion and the way her hand shakes every time she reaches for another sip. By the time Panda decides it’s time for bed, she’s too drunk to even stand, let alone walk back to her room.
“Get off me!” she protests when Itadori tries to help her up. “I’m fine!”
Maki snorts. “Can you even walk?”
“Hell yeah,” Nobara says defiantly.
The older girl raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Then walk in a straight line.”
Nobara huffs. She’s determined to prove to her crush that she can handle her alcohol just fine, thank you very much. Maki stares openly, not even attempting to hide her smirk as Nobara stumbles across the room, guided by a very stressed Itadori.
“See!” she yells when she reaches the wall, clutching it for support. “I did it!”
“Babe, that was not a straight line.”
Nobara’s brain short-circuits at the pet name. “I’m straight!” she retorts. “Line. Straight line. ‘Sides, how can you even tell?”
“I’m just perceptive,” Maki laughs, turning toward Fushiguro. “Make sure she gets back safe.”
He nods and slips an arm behind Nobara, Itadori taking her other side. Together, they haul her out of the room and down the hall.
“Bye!” she calls. “Bye Inumaki-senpai! Bye Panda-senpai! Bye Maki-san!”
“Kelp.”
“Goodnight!”
“‘Night,” Maki replies.
Suddenly, Nobara gasps and whirls around. “Maki-san!”
“Yes, Nobara?”
“I forgot to tell you something super duper important.”
“What’s that?”
Nobara giggles. “You’re, like, so pretty. Like, super hot. Just thought you should know.”
Maybe she’s imagining it but Maki’s face gets a little rosier at her words. “You too, Nobara. Get some sleep, ‘kay?”
“I don’t need sleep! I need you!”
“I know, babe,” Maki laughs. “Megumi, please don’t let her die.”
“It’s a two minute walk, senpai. Have some faith in us.”
She grins, teeth sparkling and eyes crinkling. “It’s not you I’m worried about.”
Nobara’s body chooses that moment to lose all its strength, forcing her to fall limp in the boys’ arms. Fushiguro groans under her weight.
“I got her,” Itadori says brightly. “Hop up, Kugisaki.”
She clambers onto his back with practiced ease, completely missing the adoring look Maki sends her way before she heads back to her own room. “Onward, valiant steed!”
“Anything for you, m’lady!”
They walk in comfortable silence, exhaustion hitting all of them like a train. Nobara lets her head rest against the back of Itadori’s, imagining it’s Maki’s shiny locks brushing against her cheek. She’s halfway to dreamland when he speaks.
“Kugisaki?”
“Mm.”
He adjusts his grip on her legs. “You know you can tell us anything, right?”
Fushiguro smacks him on the arm. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Being a dunce,” Fushiguro replies monotonously. His tone softens when he addresses Nobara. “But he’s right, Kugisaki. We’ll always support you, no matter what.”
She’s only pretending to be asleep now, pointedly facing away from Fushiguro. What is she supposed to say to that? Sure, she thinks Maki is really pretty and soft in all the right places and confident and cool and wicked strong. Sure, sometimes she has to fight the urge to press their lips together. It doesn’t feel concrete enough yet to tell anyone. Hell, she’s barely figuring out what this attraction means for her identity.
Deep down, thought, she knows the real reason she’s so reluctant to open up. If Maki found out, she might reject Nobara. Worse, she might reciprocate her feelings and Nobara would have a new reason to worry that someone she loves is in danger. Fushiguro and Itadori aren’t significant enough players in her life to understand how she feels. They’re teenage boys, she reminds herself. They don’t understand her materialism, her selfishness, her reasons for shutting everyone out. She doesn’t want them to. She doesn’t need their support or their pity, doesn’t need their curious eyes or their sickeningly sweet concern.
She resolves not to tell them anything, at least until she’s figured out for herself what any of this means. It’s all so much, starting at Jujutsu Tech, meeting all her new friends, falling for a girl for the first time since Saori. Nobara has settled into her identity as the confident, intelligent, out-of-your-league girl. She won’t let something as stupid as a crush – or worse, friendship – destroy her self-image. She is Kugisaki Nobara, damn it!
Before she can form a half-assed response, Itadori is opening the door to her room and setting her down on the bed gently. She keeps her eyes shut to retain the illusion of sleep but she can still feel his conflicted stare as he debates whether or not to undress her. He decides not to, instead pulling her blanket over her and smoothing her hair. Fushiguro squeezes her hand briefly before turning off the light. Nobara’s heart beats faster, warming her entire chest. Itadori, that respectful brat, has settled into her heart like he belongs there, pulling up a chair for himself and Fushiguro and refusing to leave. Her boys mean more to her than she understood, she realizes. Their unwavering loyalty, their teasing banter, their loving gestures. Where else could she ever find friends like this? Where else could she feel fiercely protective over the people she loves?
Where else could she experience Saori again?
She knows the answer to that, of course. Maki’s smiling face, flushed and gorgeous, flashes across her mind. She reaches up to her own lips, tracing over them as if Maki were the one touching her. Maki’s piercing gaze, Maki’s feral grin, Maki’s flowing hair. The way Maki makes her feel confident and secure, safe and loved. Maki, Maki, Maki.
Damn it all.
“Guys.”
Itadori stops just short of closing the door. He peeks his head in slowly, his gentle expression illuminated by the moonlight. Fushiguro pushes the door open wider and steps back inside, prompting Itadori to follow.
“Yeah?”
Nobara takes a moment to take them in, their soft gazes and hard muscles, Itadori’s shirt dangling loosely around Fushiguro’s torso. They look at her with stars in their eyes, reverently. It’s painfully sobering. They look at her like they’d die to protect her, and she knows she’d do the same for them.
Where else could she find this kind of trust?
“Stay,” she says finally. “Stay with me tonight.”
The boys glance at each other apprehensively. She’s never even allowed them into her room, let alone asked them to sleep over. Fushiguro moves to sit on the floor but Nobara shakes her head and pats the space next to her.
“We won’t fit,” he mumbles.
Nobara glares at him. Itadori stares dumbly for a moment, then bursts out laughing.
“Not with that attitude, we won’t!” he says way too cheerfully.
“Don’t make me regret this,” Nobara growls. Fushiguro throws his hands up in surrender and climbs into her bed, drawing tight to the wall and pulling her in close to make room for Itadori on the other side. She closes her eyes and leans into their touch. She allows herself to just feel the two warm bodies sandwiching her, knowing that what she’s about to say might just change the course of history.
She takes a final, deep breath and exhales sharply through her mouth. Itadori strokes her hand comfortingly and Fushiguro nestles his face into her hair. This is it, she thinks. This is the moment that cements their places in my life.
“I like girls.”
It comes out as less of a statement and more of a question, her anxiety bleeding through despite all her mental preparation. She’s really not sober enough for this conversation, nor is she awake enough, but now that it’s out there, she can’t help the relief that washes over her. It’s heavy but in the pleasant way that a weighted blanket feels.
“I like girls. I think I liked my friend Saori back in my village and now I like Maki. I might even love her. Who knows. I don’t know if I only like girls or if I like boys too. All I know is I like Maki and it’s getting too big to ignore.”
She pushes out every word in one breath and waits, refusing to inhale, as tension overtakes the trio.
“I like both.”
Bless Itadori, really. He’s always the one to break the ice, to draw them back together when the world threatens to rip them apart. He continues and Nobara can hear the smile in his voice.
“I mean, I like girls and all. Their bodies are all soft and pretty and awesome. But sometimes I just want a boy to hold me, you know?”
“Yeah,” she says breathlessly. “Yeah, I do know. I just want a girl to hold me.”
“I like everyone,” Fushiguro blurts out. “Gender doesn’t matter to me as long as they’re kind and compassionate.”
He buries his nose into Nobara’s hair as if to hide his embarrassment. Nobara can’t help but laugh, lightly at first then raucously. Within seconds, Itadori is joining in and soon enough, Fushiguro is also holding back chuckles.
“We’re-” she chokes out, brushing away a tear. “We’re a bunch of gay little shits, huh.”
“Who would’ve thought?”
Itadori laughs even harder, nearly falling off the bed despite Fushiguro clutching his arm tightly.
“Oh shit.” Nobara straightens her expression almost instantly. “Sorry for liking your aunt, Fushiguro.”
“You’re fine,” he says without a trace of malice. “Frankly, it’s not that weird.”
“Ooh, what’s the weirdest crush you’ve ever had, Kugisaki?” Itadori asks.
“You really wanna know?”
He nods vigorously, almost falling off the bed again.
“Okay,” she giggles. “Utahime-sensei.”
She feels his mouth go slack against her shoulder. “No. Fucking. Way.”
“Oh yeah,” she insists. “She’s totally gorgeous but she could also totally kill me in two seconds flat. That’s hot.”
“It’s the scar, isn’t it?”
“You get it, dude!” she cheers, high-fiving him in the dark. “What about you?”
“Me?” Itadori’s voice drops to a whisper. “Gojo-sensei.”
Nobara’s jaw drops. “Are you for real?!”
“He’s just really pretty, okay?” He hides behind his hands, ears burning in humiliation. “Have you seen his eyes?”
“Uh, ew,” Fushiguro says. “He’s basically my dad.”
Itadori blanches. “I thought you said he didn’t raise you!”
“Oh, he didn’t,” Fushiguro responds easily. “But I’ve known him since I was a kid. I’ve seen way too much of him to ever find him attractive.”
Itadori pouts and pokes his arm hard enough to make him flinch. “Don’t act like you’ve never had a weird adult crush before.”
“Yeah, Fushiguro. Spill the beans.”
Said boy sighs and rolls onto his back, arm flopping over his forehead. “I like people who are selfless and protective, so I guess it would be Nanami-san.”
Itadori’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “Isn’t he way too old for you?!”
“As if your crush is much better,” he scoffs. “You know Gojo-sensei is older than him, right?”
“No way!”
“Yeah. Nanami-san is only twenty-seven.”
Itadori stares down at his fingers, calculating their age difference. “But he looks so old,” he whispers, horrified.
“That’s what this job does to you, I guess,” Fushiguro says with a shrug.
“Oh.”
They’re silent for a beat while they contemplate how they got to this point in the first place. Two village idiots and a delinquent city boy fight crime. It sounds like the setup to a bad comic book. It’s funny now but Nobara knows that in a few years, they’ll all have Nanami’s wrinkles and Shoko’s dark circles. Even Maki, flawless Maki, will be marred by the sands of time.
The thought puts a sudden timer on her grand delusions, the ones that would enable her to marry Maki and retire early on hefty sorcerers’ salary. She might even invite Mai to the wedding, provided she’s well-behaved. Itadori and Fushiguro would be her men of honor, of course. If Itadori is alive, that is.
Fuck. The execution. Depending on a number of uncontrollable factors – Sukuna’s strength, the higher-ups, missions, Itadori himself – he might not live to see Nobara get married. He might not live to see his own wedding, let alone confess to the boy he’s so clearly in love with. Nobara’s will to not meddle dwindles away with every passing second. Is she really willing to let Itadori live a loveless life just for the sake of her own ridiculous moral compass? Is she willing to do that to herself? After all, she could die at any moment, and though she knows her boys would drop everything to protect her, she knows they are not the impenetrable fortresses they pretend to be. For their sake, for her own sake, she’ll break her self-imposed rule.
“So,” she starts, turning the other way. “Fushiguro. You like protective guys?”
“Yeah,” he replies. “I find strength and taking charge really attractive.”
“Cool,” Itadori says
“Yeah.”
“Itadori.” Nobara flips over again. “You like pretty boys, huh?”
She can practically hear the blush in his cheeks when he replies, “Yeah, uh. Yeah.”
She props herself up on her forearm, staring him intently in the eyes. “What’s the prettiest part?”
“Huh?”
She pinches his arm, not hard enough to do lasting damage but hard enough to snap him out of his haze. “What’s the prettiest part of a boy? In your opinion, I mean. Like, I think the prettiest part of a girl is their waist. So what’s your favorite part?”
“Um.” Itadori flicks his eyes to the ceiling. “Eyelashes? I guess I like guys with long eyelashes and stuff. And like, pretty eyes.”
“Fushiguro has pretty eyes.”
Nobara can tell his cheeks are burning hot just from their proximity, and there’s a matching warmth radiating off of Fushiguro behind her. Both boys turn away from her, facing opposite walls and refusing to acknowledge each other.
“Nope!” she calls, dragging them both closer by their collars. “I’m not totally sober yet and I want my cuddles. You two are my loyal servants, are you not?”
She pokes Itadori’s side, scratching at his ribcage for good measure. His suppressed giggles quickly turn into full-blown laughter, loud enough that even Fushiguro cracks a smile. He scoots closer to her, pressing up against her back to reach an arm across and join in the one-sided tickle war.
“Stop!” Itadori gasps out between laughs.
“Neverrrrr!” Nobara yells back. “I’ll win this battle for the good of womankind!”
She’s about to climb on top of him and whack him with a pillow when he really does fall off the bed with a sharp yelp, palm catching him before he can body-slam the floor. “Ok, ok! I surrender, m’lady.”
“Good,” she huffs. “As punishment for losing I hereby decree that thou shalt cuddle me all night and treat my royal hangover come morn.”
“Yes, your majesty!” he says brightly as Fushiguro snorts.
As Itadori crawls back into her bed and wraps his arms around her like a koala, Nobara wonders if she’s meddled enough. On one hand, Itadori can be incredibly dense. On the other hand, maybe there’s a reason they won’t acknowledge it. Maybe they’re more alike than she thought. Her reluctance to open up to Maki, to come out to her best friends and strengthen their bond, is rooted in the fear of losing them and the subsequent pain. Itadori knows he’s going to die. Maybe he’s trying to spare Fushiguro the pain.
His breaths even out beside her, soft rumbles vibrating his chest. Fushiguro makes a noise in his sleep. As Nobara herself is lulled to sleep by their breathing, she decides that today is not the day for more meddling. There’s been enough change to their dynamic with their confessions and the shared bed. Maybe tomorrow she’ll find a better, less terrifying solution but for tonight, she’ll let them just dream of each other.
---
Nobara wakes up to blinding afternoon sunlight and a raging headache. She rubs at her eyes sleepily and reaches over the side of the bed to grab her fallen blankets, only to hit a solid mass instead. She blinks down at the floor. Itadori is lying there, surrounded by a mountain of her blankets. The events of the previous night come flooding back and she realizes with a start that Fushiguro is nowhere to be found.
“Oi!” she whisper-yells, shaking Itadori. “Where’s Fushiguro?”
Itadori mumbles something unintelligible and rolls over. She peels the blankets off of him, only to discover that Itadori has been hiding an armful of Fushiguro this whole time. He looks the most peaceful he has in a long time, face buried in Itadori’s chest and limbs relaxed. Nobara sighs. She can’t help the smile that comes over her when she pulls the blankets back up.
A light knock at the door makes her look up suddenly. Maki stands in the doorway holding a glass of water and a bottle of Aspirin, eyebrows raised into her bangs. Her hair is down and her glasses are hooked over the front of her shirt. As she approaches the bed, Nobara quietly panics, smoothing her bedhead down and adjusting her clothes (yesterday’s clothes!) to sit properly.
“Morning, sunshine.”
Maki grins and holds out the glass. Nobara takes it gratefully and accepts a couple tablets from her friend, popping them into her mouth and downing half the glass in one gulp as a temporary substitute for toothpaste. Maki sits down at the foot of the bed and rests her hand on Nobara’s shin.
“Figured I’d check on you. You seemed out of it last night.”
“I’m all good now,” Nobara croaks. Damn, does she always sound this bad in the morning? She swallows another giant mouthful of water. “Except for the headache, of course. But I’m not, like, nauseous or anything. I’m not even hungover. Just a headache.”
Maki’s grin widens. “Uh huh. And how is that not-hangover working out for you?”
“I’m great!” Nobara insists, wincing at the volume of her own voice.
“Sure,” Maki says. They sit in silence for a moment until she speaks again. “So, Megumi and Itadori, huh?”
“Yeah. They weren’t like this when we fell asleep, though.”
Maki hums. “Think they’ll finally talk about their feelings?”
“Doubt it,” Nobara snorts. “Itadori’s way too oblivious. Fushiguro’s got some kinda complex about commitment, I bet.”
“You’d be surprised.” Maki’s hand inches closer to Nobara’s knee as she leans in. “When Megumi loves, he loves with everything he’s got.”
Nobara’s heart nearly pounds out of her chest when Maki leans in dangerously close, her other hand coming up to toy with Nobara’s hair. They’re practically breathing the same air. Maki’s eyes flick down to her lips and Nobara worries suddenly that her breath stinks. She backs away from Maki’s piercing gaze.
“H-how’d you know about them anyway?” she stutters.
Maki presses even closer. “I’m really perceptive, you know?”
Nobara yelps and scrambles out of bed, stepping on an unsuspecting Itadori in her haste. “I’m gonna brush my teeth!” she announces.
“You do that.” Maki’s Cheshire grin returns and she stands. As Nobara disappears into the bathroom, she calls after her.
“I’ll just kiss you after!”