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Somedays, it was hard to stay focused. It could be too easy to blame it on distractions but there wasn’t anyone around. Not his coach, not the other skaters. And no, not him either. Left to his own devices, he should have been able to land it no problem. In theory.
The crash landing brought him down to earth as Jimin picked himself up off the ice.
“You’re overthinking it.”
Palms down, he lifted up his head, visibley searching. He thought he heard it. His voice. Of course Yoongi wasn’t there, he was already imagining things. He grumbled as he pulled himself into a sitting position, an exasperated sigh escaping. Checking the time overhead, he had been practising for hours. Exhausted, he wanted to call it a day but Jimin found himself up on his feet and picking up momentum.
This has to be it now.
Counting the rotations in head, one , two , three ....and
four
A smile appeared until an unstable landing caused him to touch down the ice.
Not quite.
“Ugh , that was it, I had it that time.” He cussed to no one in particular as he stood with arms crossed against his chest.
“Almost.” A voice rang out from the stands, Jimin whipped his round to meet his gaze. Oh.
He made his way over to the side, leaning over the barrier. “I thought you already left for the day.” It was nine, Namjoon usually left at seven, give or take.
“Yeah but I left my bag in the locker room, then I heard you were still here so I thought I’d say hi. ” Namjoon smiled
“You mean check up on me?” Jimin sighed, brushing back the hair that got into his eyes.
A scoff and the other skater shook his head. “Not at all. I mean, we’re all worried about you, sure. But you can take care of yourself.”
He rolled his eyes. Well of course he could do that. He wasn’t the national gold medalist three years straight for no reason. He was doing just fine.
Just fine.
“You’re right. There’s nothing to worry about.” Jimin half smiled , the best one he could manage. At this point, he wasn’t so sure anymore.
Namjoon nodded, but lingered. “You need a ride?”
“But you don’t drive?” Jimin laughed that time , which made his friend chuckle.
“Right, but I could call you a taxi or something? You’ve been here for hours. You need to rest.”
Jimin shook his head. “I’m good. Need to work on my quad lutz more. Can’t seem to land it right.”
“Maybe you’re thinking too much?” Namjoon shrugged, as those words made Jimin laugh, almost too loudly.The echoes in the empty rink made that clear.
“That’s what he says, all the time. I’m ‘in my head’ too much.” He was probably right. Scratch that, Yoongi was always right. Scarily so.
Namjoon nodded. “Ah, well he’s not wrong.” He chuckled then shook his head. “When was the last time you spoke to him? Maybe he could help...”
Jimin was quick to cut him off. “Hyung needs to rest, I’m not going to bother him.” He skated back, away from the edge.
“Jimin, it's fine, he wants to talk to you. It's been weeks and he’s-“
He had already stopped listening as he circled away. Because he didn’t need to hear it. He pulled himself into a layback spin, focusing on his art. Distractions didn’t help anyone. He started to prepare himself for the jump again, but barely managed a single. He frowned, looking up to see that Namjoon hadn’t left.
“What’s wrong with me?” His voice was quiet, as for once, he was letting himself be vulnerable. He skated towards the edge where arms engulfed him close.
“Nothing, nothing at all.” Namjoon’s voice was soft, holding the shivering skater close. “You have to stop blaming yourself.”
It was difficult to hold back, as he sucked in a breath. “If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my head just like he said, this wouldn’t have happened. His career wouldn’t be over and it’s all my fault.” He did his best not to let any tears fall but his eyes stung all the same.
“Hey you don't know that, besides he crashed into you and not the other way round. Accidents happen and it's no one's fault, okay?” Namjoon was wiping his eyes which only made him sink into his embrace more.
“Still, I just wish I had this stupid jump down.” He grumbled, rubbing his own eyes as he pulled back for just a moment.
“I’m not sure if my words will help at all but you do need to stop worrying. I think that’s it. Just think about why you need to land.”
“Because I want to?”
Namjoon laughed. “That’s totally valid. But I’m not talking about the bigger picture.”
Jimin screwed up his nose as he pushed him back lightly. “You’re sounding just like Hyung.”
“Yeah well I went to see him yesterday and he’s doing good. He misses you.”
A faint smile. “I miss him too.”
“I really need to get going but call him after? Like I said, he’s better at this than me. And you actually listen to him, sometimes.” He laughed as he pulled back enough for Jimin to climb back onto the ice.
“I’ll think about it.” That was all he could say.
“And please get some rest yourself, you look like a zombie.” That made him snort but pulling his phone from his back pocket, Jimin could see some truth in that.
—
Pulling himself in, he had his eyes set straight ahead. His friends were right, he needed to let go of those thoughts. Before it was easy to just be in the zone but he was younger then. Lonelier then.
Inhaling deeply, he held up his palms together, closing his eyes. He could do this. He could do this .
Setting off, he picked up speed and went for it. The quadruple lutz that he could never seem to land. One rotation, two rotations , three...and four.
The landing was perfect and immediately he dropped to his knees. Without hesitation he grabbed his phone.
“Hyung I did it. I did what you said.”
“I always knew you could.” Yoongi’s voice rang in his ears. Something he had longed for. Something he missed so dearly.
“Hurry up and get better so you can see it in person.” He laughed, his friend’s own laughter making him smile wider.
“Of course, wouldn't miss that for the world.”
-fin-