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"It's out of my control."
Stiles waves his arms around, frustrated. "I don't want it to be out of your control."
"Why does it matter?" Derek asks. "You're my mate. You're it for me. What else matters?"
"That it's out of your control."
Derek just stares at him.
"Do you even want me?"
"Stiles, of course - "
"Because it sounds like this mystical other force is making you choose me and I'm sorry but I'm not a fan of that - whatever you want to call it." Stiles stills, staring at a place over Derek's left shoulder, avoiding eye contact with the wolf.
"That's not - Stiles, that's not how this works."
"You said I'm your mate and you don't have a choice in the matter, how else am I supposed to take it?"
"You are my mate, Stiles - "
"And you don't want me. You're just stuck with me because the universe thought we'd be good together or something."
"I can't change this - "
"Exactly. What am I supposed to do? Reject you on principle and break your heart or be with you and know that its out of your control?"
Derek closes his eyes, trying to ignore the sharp pain in his chest at the idea of Stiles rejecting him. He takes a deep breath and tries again, stepping closer to Stiles this time. He leans in and takes a deep breath at the curve between his neck and shoulder. Stiles stiffens, but Derek can smell a hint of arousal under the tension wracking his body.
"Pack, safety, warmth, family, home," Derek lists off. "That's what you smell like to me." He slips his hand into Stiles's and threads their fingers together, staring down at them intently. "I don't want you, Stiles. I need you. And maybe that has something to do with the universe's sense of humor. But I can't describe this feeling as something that I want. The feelings I get when I'm around you aren't simple 'want', they're so much more than that." He finally looks up to stare into Stiles's eyes. "I crave you, Stiles. Everything about you - from your scent to the way you can never sit still for five seconds."
Stiles doesn't say anything, but blindly reaches out to thread their other fingers together, continuing to stare into Derek's eyes.
"I've never heard you be quiet for so - "
Stiles cuts him off, pressing their lips together and Derek can't think anything beyond 'Stiles Stiles Stiles'.