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Seungmin is not the type of guy who should have a crush on Hwang Hyunjin. Frankly, he didn’t know if anybody was the type of guy who should have a crush on Hyunjin, but Seungmin was first on the list of those who should not.
For starters, Seungmin was student council president. He ran varsity track and was the star of the baseball team. He was editor of the yearbook. He had a 4.0 GPA, and if that stupid Bang Chan would mess up one measly test already, he’d be on his way to being valedictorian. He was good looking and popular. He’d never gone to a school dance without being asked by at least two or three people. He was the teenage dream, in every sense of the term.
Hyunjin was the opposite of that. He was never on time for class, and when he was there, he didn’t pay attention. His only foray into school activities had been a brief stint on the basketball team freshman year, but he’d been kicked off two games into the season because he and his burnout friends had been caught smoking behind the football field bleachers during lunch.
On top of that, Seungmin was certain that, if his mom ever laid eyes on Hyunjin, she would say he dressed like Marilyn Manson. Seungmin didn’t think he was quite that out there, but he did typically wear all black getups and paint his nails. His ears were even pierced, and he liked to wear a single dangly, silver, cross-shaped earring on his left side, a sight Seungmin’s parents might faint at.
Still, Seungmin couldn’t help it. He liked Hyunjin’s nails and his earrings and the way he didn’t really seem to care what anybody thought about him. Seungmin especially liked the photos he took on his old vintage camera and hand developed. Seungmin didn’t have the nerve to follow Hyunjin on Instagram, but he checked for new photos daily, daydreaming of Hyunjin posting a candid of him.
Now, all Seungmin could do was stare at Hyunjin across the cafeteria as he and his friends talked and laughed all lunch. A part of him didn’t just want to hang out with Hyunjin. He wanted to hang out with all of them. Seungmin liked his own friends, but the burnouts always seemed to be having a lot more fun than his student council clique.
“Are you listening to me?” Jeongin snaps, bringing Seungmin back to reality. Seungmin wishes he hadn’t. Jeongin was Seungmin’s best friend, but Seungmin was sick of treating every lunch like a student council or yearbook meeting. He didn’t want to plan a dance right now. He wanted to eat jello and gossip.
“Oh, god. Sorry. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” Seungmin lies. Jeongin rolls his eyes.
“I said we have virtually no pictures of students actually in class or at lunch or whatever for the yearbook,” Jeongin repeats. “It feels like all the pictures are of the jocks. People are going to be pissed.”
“Isn’t that what people want to see anyway?” Minho, captain of the tennis team and president of the arrogance club, quips. “That’s how high school works. You play a sport, you go to dances, you get to be in the yearbook. Why would we go around taking pictures of dorks reading in the library?”
“Don’t be an asshole,” Jeongin orders. “Our school is about more than sports or dances, you know. I want the yearbook to be about more than that. We’re seniors. I want everyone to look back on this ten years from now and remember hanging out with their friends in the halls and their favorite teachers. Don’t you, Seungmin?”
Seungmin’s ears perk up at his name. He supposed he has final say.
“Yeah, of course,” Seungmin says, siding with Jeongin easily. “We’ll just ask the principal for passes for our photographers to take pictures in classes. No big deal.”
“You have to send the book to the printers in a couple of weeks. All of the photos are going to be from the same time period if you do that,” Minho reminds him. “It’ll be weird.”
“I’ll also send out an appeal for student life pictures over the announcements. It’ll be fine,” Seungmin decides. The others at the table agree, and the topic changes just like that, leaving Seungmin to fall back into his fantasies about Hyunjin.
Seungmin is trying to come up with an excuse to talk to Hyunjin before the school year ends and he completely misses his chance when he realizes he has a real excuse. Hyunjin had been taking pictures in his classes, in the halls and at lunch all year. If anybody had the photos Jeongin was looking for, it was him. Seungmin could make Jeongin happy and finally talk to his dream boy, all in one go. Just the thought was making his heart flutter.
After school, Seungmin darts to the parking lot to meet Hyunjin at his car before he can escape for the day. He was thankful everyone knew which car was Hyunjin‘s, otherwise he would have looked like a creep waiting beside his old town car from the 90s. It was easy to spot, since it was by far the oldest one in the lot.
Seungmin’s nervousness has just about talked him into leaving when he looks up from his shoes to see Hyunjin approaching him. He was wearing black jeans, boots, a striped gray long sleeve undershirt and a t-shirt that had a monster’s eyes on it along with the word Bauhaus. Seungmin assumed that it was a band of some sort, but he didn’t know for sure. Hyunjin was, of course, rocking his signature cross earring and chipped black nail polish, too, along with an assortment of bracelets and necklaces.
“Mr. President,” Hyunjin says flatly when he finally reaches Seungmin. “To what do I owe the pleasure? If it’s about the vandalism in the third floor bathroom, I can tell you with certainty that I do not know any bible verses. You have the wrong guy.”
“What? I- I didn’t even know about that,” Seungmin admits. “I try not to enter the bathrooms here.”
“Good. There’s a lot of iniquity someone like you shouldn’t be subjected to,” Hyunjin decides.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, crossing his arms.
“That you’re too prissy to witness me buying Xanax from a freshman in broad daylight,” Hyunjin says bluntly, running a hand through his hair and flipping the hair that had fallen out of place back to where it belonged. Seungmin swallows hard, trying not to react. He didn’t want Hyunjin to think he was judgmental, even if he so obviously already thought he was. “Listen, did you need something? This place is kinda my personal prison, and if I don’t have to be here, I don’t want to be.”
“Um, yeah,” Seungmin says, stumbling over his own thoughts. He was usually so confident, but one look from Hyunjin brought him to his knees. “I just- I’m the editor of the yearbook, and we’re having an issue with making sure all students are present in the final product. Most of the staff hang around the same people, so I thought we should reach out to others.”
“Um, okay,” Hyunjin mumbles, clearly not very interested in the yearbook or Seungmin’s dilemma.
“I’ve seen your pictures. On Instagram. I think they’re really cool, and if you have any that you want to share-”
“Oh, I get it,” Hyunjin says. Seungmin bit his lip. Maybe he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch, but he was cute. The way his eyebrows reacted to everything Seungmin said and he couldn’t help but think out-loud made Seungmin’s heart pound. “Um, I don’t know. Are you busy this afternoon?”
Seungmin shakes his head without missing a beat. He could’ve been meeting the Pope for dinner and still would’ve said he was free.
“If you want, you can come over to my house and look through all my photos. I just keep them in a tub in my room once they’re developed. I’m not sure I have what you’re looking for, but if you find anything, I can scan the photos and email them to you,” Hyunjin explains. Seungmin can barely hear him over his own heartbeat.
“That would be really, really awesome of you,” Seungmin says. Hyunjin offers him a tiny grin. Seungmin would’ve killed for a real smile and a glimpse of his beautiful, perfectly straight teeth, but he would accept positive attention from Hyunjin in any form he could get it.
“Cool. Uh, I need to go back to my locker and grab a few more rolls of film I can develop for you, then. Can we just meet at my house in, like, half an hour?” Hyunjin suggests. Seungmin nods. He was going back to his locker just for Seungmin? This has to be a sign.
“Um, yeah. Yeah, text me your address,” Seungmin requests. Hyunjin furrows his eyebrows.
“I’m supposed to just have President Kim Seungmin’s phone number?” Hyunjin asks. Seungmin is taken aback.
“I thought everyone had my number,” Seungmin admits.
“For what shared activity would I have obtained your number?” Hyunjin asks with a tiny smirk. He pulls a pen out of his pocket and offers it to Seungmin, then presents him with his palm. “Write.”
“Why don’t you just give me your address now then?” Seungmin asks, taking the pen from Hyunjin anyway. He wasn’t going to let his opportunity to touch him pass. He used one hand to steady him and the other to quickly write his number in tiny print across the back of his hand.
“Because then I still don’t have your number,” Hyunjin informs him as he pulls his hand away. Seungmin swallows hard, trying to keep himself calm so his face doesn't go beet red right in front of Hyunjin. “Talk to you in a bit?”
“Yeah,” he manages. Hyunjin nods, then turns around and heads back into the school, leaving Seungmin to just stand in the parking lot like the fool he was.
Half an hour later, when Seungmin arrives at Hyunjin’s house, he isn’t prepared for what he finds. He double, triple checks the address, but he’s in the right place. A part of Seungmin thinks this is some sort of prank. There was no way a guy like Hyunjin lived in the biggest house on Seungmin’s block. Kids from this part of town weren’t like him; that’s why Seungmin was attracted to Hyunjin in the first place. He was completely different from anybody he’d been friends with growing up or even now.
But then Seungmin notices Hyunjin’s car, parked a ways up the long, winding driveway, and Hyunjin was nowhere to be found, meaning only that he could be inside. Seungmin parks right next to Hyunjin, then walks along the path until he reaches his front door. He was frankly terrified to knock. Just as he’s finally worked up the courage to do so, the door comes swinging open as his hand reaches the wood.
“Took you a while to get here,” Hyunjin says, taking a bite out of the green apple he was holding. “Don’t you live close by?”
“Um- yeah, I do. I didn’t know we were practically neighbors. I would’ve biked or walked instead of taking my car,” Seungmin explains. Hyunjin shrugs.
“Sorry. Figured you’d recognize the street name,” Hyunjin offers, stepping out of the doorway and effectively inviting Seungmin inside.
“Your house is so big there are only like two others on this street, so no,” Seungmin teases. He was trying to be discreet about checking out Hyunjin’s house, but he was struggling. Hyunjin’s family was more well off than any of Seungmin’s friends.
“Ha,” Hyunjin says dryly. “Didn’t really expect you to react the same as my friends who are barely zoned for the school. Didn’t your dad, like, invent e-mail?”
“My dad isn’t old enough to have invented e-mail,” Seungmin corrects him. “He invented a software that made it so that e-mails can-”
“Seungmin, if you think I understand e-mail software you are wrong,” Hyunjin remarks with a laugh, leading Seungmin over to the stairwell. The walls in the house were plastered with baby photos of Hyunjin in attire much too formal for a child.
“Family money?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods.
“Don’t tell people at school that, though. Being a one-percenter is not punk rock,” Hyunjin jokes as they climb the stairs.
“You’re punk? I thought you were, like, goth,” Seungmin admits.
“Wow, you know your stuff,” Hyunjin laughs. “Bauhaus, like, invented goth rock.”
“I just assumed because you don’t wear any, um, color,” Seungmin explains. Hyunjin laughs again.
“I don’t really identify as goth,” Hyunjin admits. “The whole gloomy thing and lace shit- that’s not really me. I just like the music.”
“Oh, cool,” Seungmin says gently as they reach Hyunjin’s room. “I’ve never heard any.”
“I could show you sometime,” Hyunjin suggests, stopping completely to voice his thoughts. Seungmin’s heart pounds so hard he can hear it in his ears. “I have so many cool vinyls we could listen to. Or, I don’t know. I could just text you some tracks-“
“No!” Seungmin resists. Hyunjin raises his eyebrows. Seungmin swallows. Fuck. “I just meant, um, that music is meant to be listened to with people. And the vinyls probably sound so much better than the recordings.”
“Oh, yeah. I actually- I was telling Jisung the same thing,” Hyunjin explains. “Music is meant to be shared. Maybe not slow songs or whatever, but rock and punk is. Those are the cries of a movement, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Seungmin agrees. Truthfully, he’d been thinking about how he and Jeongin always listen to new The Weeknd and Coldplay albums together when they come out, then sing their favorite songs together every time they’re in the same car after that. He didn’t know about movements or anything like that, just how much better it felt to listen to music with his best friend than alone.
“Oh, um, we’re here,” Hyunjin notes awkwardly, as though they hadn’t been standing outside his room for a minute now. Hyunjin pushes the door open, and Seungmin couldn’t say he was surprised by what he saw.
Hyunjin had covered the entirety of the back wall of his room with posters of bands Seungmin had never once listened to a song from, if he’d heard of them at all. The wall to the left was covered in prints of photos, most of which appeared to be of the friends Seungmin had seen him around with. Next to his bed, he had two large, black bookcases filled with books, vinyls, old cameras and virtually anything else Hyunjin liked. All the shelves and his desk were cluttered, but it didn’t feel dirty. It felt like a home.
“Alright, I keep my buckets of developed photos under my bed,” Hyunjin explains, crawling onto his floor and pulling out two big, thin boxes filled to the brim with stacked photos. “You can also look at the ones on my wall, but those are from a bunch of years and kinda personal. You can tell when they’re from by my hair, though. I started growing it out over the summer, so if it’s longer, it’s from this year. The one’s around those are from the same time frame, probably.”
Seungmin held back an I know. He’d about died when he’d seen Hyunjin’s hair on Instagram before school started last August. Seungmin had always thought Hyunjin was cute, but that’s when Seungmin had really gone from admiring Hyunjin’s pictures to admiring Hyunjin himself.
“Start with these. They’re from last semester,” Hyunjin explains, gesturing to the first bin he’d removed from underneath his bed. “Dates are on the back. Names are, too, if I knew who they were.”
“You take pictures of people you don’t know?” Seungmin asks, sitting down beside Hyunjin and the bin. Hyunjin nods.
“I only hang up pictures of people I’m friends with, though,” Hyunjin says, gesturing to his wall. “I think I would get bored of only ever photographing Jisung.”
“These are amazing,” Seungmin says softly, beginning to set aside pictures as soon as he looks at them. Some were a little too artsy, but every photo of people laughing and hanging out in the hallways or library makes Seungmin smile.
“Thanks,” Hyunjin says, watching Seungmin flip through his photos with a big grin on his face. “I’ve never had someone react like this to my pictures before. I mean, Felix always tells me they’re good, but you- I don’t know. He has to say that.”
Seungmin turns his head and flashes Hyunjin a gentle smile. Hyunjin immediately looks away, effectively disheartening Seungmin.
Seungmin is just about to lose every last bit of hope he has that Hyunjin could ever like him back when he flips to a photo of himself. Then another. And another. There were five in total, all of him, all in a row. He was sitting on the steps behind the school, back against a pillar and eyes glued to a book. Each photo was a different composition, but they were all of the same moment, something Seungmin hadn’t seen in Hyunjin’s photos so far.
“Oh, um,” Hyunjin whispers whenever he sees what pictures Seungmin is looking at. “I forgot about those. I took them so long ago. I just remember thinking you looked like someone had posed you. The lighting was really good, too, since it was kinda late.”
“Yeah,” Seungmin agrees, flipping over one of the photos to see exactly when he’d taken them. On the back, he sees Hyunjin had written “Mr. President, Oct. 12th” in pencil. Next to it, Hyunjin had clearly doodled a heart then attempted to erase it. Seungmin could still see the remnants of the lead. He feels his heart start to race at the thought of Hyunjin liking Seungmin enough to take this many shots of one moment and then draw a heart on the back, too.
“I think there are more of you,” Hyunjin admits. “You just- you’re easy to take pictures of.”
“I am?” Seungmin asks, wrinkling his nose. It was hard to even focus on their conversation with all the thoughts and theories and butterflies racing around inside of him.
“Yeah. I don’t know. You’re just, like, elegant, I guess,” Hyunjin explains. Seungmin just blinks at him, watching Hyunjin get increasingly flustered as his face flushes. “Like, take my friend, Changbin, for example. I don’t know if you know him, but he’s kinda a mess. He always slouches and makes awkward facial expressions. When I take pictures of him, they’re funny and I like them, but they’re not pretty if that makes sense. You’re the opposite.”
“Um, thank you,” Seungmin whispers. He really, deeply likes the idea that Hyunjin liked to take pictures of him. As cheesy as it was, Seungmin had fantasized of being his muse for a long time, and this really put him on track. “I really like the pictures you took.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna crawl under a rock now,” Hyunjin murmurs, burying his face in his hands.
“Why?” Seungmin asks with a laugh. Hyunjin groans.
“Because I just looked the Kim Seungmin, our class president, future valedictorian, prep king and school golden boy, in the eyes and implied that I think he’s pretty,” Hyunjin recounts. “I’m really sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? It was a nice thing to say,” Seungmin assures him, resting a hand on his shoulder. Hyunjin glances up at him.
“You’re a really nice person, Seungmin,” Hyunjin says. “If I had said that to any other prep they would've freaked out.”
“Can you stop putting me into a box?” Seungmin asks with a laugh. “Your entire thing is that you’re a rebel and an individual, but you just assume what I’m like.”
“It’s not that,” Hyunjin explains. “It’s just- the people someone hangs out with say a lot about them, and the people you hang out with are not very nice to the people I hang out with.”
“Well, I would never treat you that way. Or any of your friends,” Seungmin promises. “I like that you guys don’t want to be like anybody else. I notice you at lunch occasionally, and I always think you all look like you’re having so much fun.”
“You should sit with us sometime then,” Hyunjin suggests. “Jisung might poke fun at you a bit, though, so make sure you have your thickest skin on. He does it to everyone, I swear.”
“O-okay,” Seungmin stutters. He really wanted to, but he couldn’t help but worry about what Jeongin and Minho and Chan would think. Seungmin didn’t consider any of his friends to be mean, but they had really high standards for themselves and certainly didn’t think kindly of people like Hyunjin, who’d been suspended for doing drugs on campus and had a basically blank college résumé. “I will.”
“Cool. We’d love to have an in with the president,” Hyunjin teases. “I will admit most of us didn’t vote for you though. That girl who nominated her service dog really captured some hearts, you know?”
“Did you vote for me?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin’s face drops, clearly embarrassed again.
“I- yeah,” Hyunjin admits. “I vote for you every year. I figure I don’t really like school dances and whatever, but I don’t want them to suck for people who do. And I think a dog planning them would definitely make them suck.”
“That makes me happy,” Seungmin says with a tiny smile, returning to flipping through Hyunjin’s pictures.
“I’m happy I made you happy,” Hyunjin returns. Seungmin continues to smile, picking up another pile of photos.
Hyunjin and Seungmin spend the rest of the afternoon sorting through photos and talking. Once Hyunjin got really comfortable with Seungmin, he talked and talked and talked. He told Seungmin so much about photos and music. Seungmin loved to see him talk about something so passionately. It made his heart swell in the best way. A couple of times, Seungmin is sure Hyunjin is flirting with him. He didn’t know if that was even possible, but he wanted it to be true.
Eventually, Hyunjin even takes out one of his cameras and takes a couple of pictures of Seungmin. Seungmin tries not to change his behavior because of the camera, but he ends up laughing and posing anyway. Hyunjin ends up in stitches, too, and even takes a couple of them together.
“For the wall,” he had explained. Seungmin squealed internally at the thought of Hyunjin putting a photo of Seungmin up on his wall along with all of the people he cared about most.
By the time they finish looking through all the photos, Seungmin thinks he has more than enough pictures to satisfy Jeongin and has made a new friend, too. He even followed Hyunjin on Instagram and got a follow back.
“I’ll scan these now and send you the files tonight so you guys can get to work starting tomorrow,” Hyunjin declares as he walks Seungmin out to his car. Seungmin nods, but he’s distracted by how empty Hyunjin’s house still feels at nearly eight at night.
“Are your parents still not home?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods, glancing around as they reach the front door.
“They’re in Germany, I think. They’re definitely in Europe,” Hyunjin informs him. Seungmin raises his eyebrows. “They aren’t home a lot. They’re usually at work or on business trips or just not here.”
“Oh,” Seungmin says weakly. “Don’t you get lonely?”
“Ah, I don’t know. Sometimes. Jisung comes over a lot, so,” he explains, running a hand through his hair absently. Seungmin frowns.
“You should come over to my house tomorrow. We do family dinners on Fridays,” Seungmin offers. “It’s probably been a while since you’ve been to one of those.”
“Oh, god. I don’t want to intrude-”
“Are you kidding? As long as you tell my mom you love her food, you’re just as valuable to her as either of her kids,” Seungmin assures him with a laugh. Hyunjin smiles at him, this time with teeth. Seungmin feels like they’re really making progress.
“Okay, okay. I can’t wait,” Hyunjin says cheerfully, opening the door for Seungmin so he can leave. Seungmin expects him to say his goodbyes, but he continues to lead Seungmin out to his car.
“Quite the gentleman,” Seungmin notes with a laugh. “Most of my friends don’t even walk me to the door.”
“I kinda just want to spend every second I can with you,” Hyunjin admits quietly. Seungmin practically chokes on his own spit in response.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin cries. Seungmin nods, suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment. “Jesus Christ. I’m sorry.”
“No, I didn’t- I just- I want to spend every second I can with you, too,” Seungmin clarifies.
“Oh, um. I’m glad,” Hyunjin whispers. He bit his lip softly and leaned against his car for support as they finally reached the driveway. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow? At lunch maybe?”
“Yeah,” Seungmin confirms, gently touching Hyunjin’s arm with a soft smile. Hyunjin looked down at his feet in embarrassment. “Goodnight, Hyunjin.”
“Goodnight, Mr. President.”
The next morning, Seungmin awakens to so many emails from Hyunjin he can hardly believe the day before wasn’t a fever dream. He quickly forwarded them to Jeongin, then he performed his ritualistic morning check of Hyunjin’s Instagram. His heart almost stops when he sees a photo of himself from yesterday.
His face wasn’t in the frame, only his body and the tub of photos. He sat cross-legged and was holding a bunch of photos in his hands. Seungmin thought it was a pretty picture, though he wanted to see a lot more from last night. Then, he notices the caption.
I pictured us at the end of time taking pictures of nothing.
Seungmin feels like he’s about to explode. If he was waiting for confirmation Hyunjin liked him, he certainly had it. Between this and his confession the night prior, Seungmin almost thought this whole thing was going to work out.
Once he’s done wallowing in daydreams, Seungmin climbed out of bed and hurried to get ready for school. If he was going to hang out with Hyunjin and all his friends today, he had to look cute.
Seungmin ultimately decides on a white, short-sleeve button-up and a cropped pair of jeans. He wanted to wear one of his blue sweaters, but he assumed if he wore any color he’d stick out like a sore thumb. Black wasn’t really his forté, though, and he was sure Hyunjin would be confused if he showed up in his best goth cosplay, so white would have to work.
When he arrives at school, he finds Jeongin waiting for him at his locker.
“Hey,” Seungmin says casually, pawing him aside so he can open his locker to put his books away.
“How did you get Hwang Hyunjin to surrender that many of his precious photos for the yearbook? Doesn’t he think we’re oligarchical monsters pushing classist institutions?” Jeongin asks, crossing his arms.
“He doesn’t think that,” Seungmin refutes. “I just asked him to send me some pictures. I see him with that camera all day. We’d be stupid not to take advantage of that.”
“I saw the picture he posted. He must’ve wanted to spend time with you,” Jeongin decides, unlocking his phone and scrolling through the attachments on the emails Seungmin sent him. “Dracula has a crush on you.”
“I hope so,” Seungmin mumbles, shutting his locker and turning to look at Jeongin, whose jaw had fallen, contorting his mouth into a tiny o-shape.
“You’re into him?” Jeongin says, absolutely gawking at Seungmin.
“I don’t know,” Seungmin lies. “He’s cute. And was really nice to me.”
“He’s the kinda guy you bring home to scare your mom into liking your real boyfriend,” Jeongin tells him with a laugh. “Your dad would flip.”
“I guess we’ll see. I invited him to come eat dinner with us tonight,” Seungmin informs Jeongin simply. Jeongin covers his mouth to stifle his inevitable laughter.
“You’re kidding, Seungmin,” Jeongin decides. Seungmin shakes his head.
“His parents aren’t home a lot. I feel bad for him,” Seungmin explains, “and I like being around him.”
“Okay, dude, but whenever he tries to indoctrinate you into a cult, stay strong,” Jeongin warns him with another laugh. Seungmin rolls his eyes. Jeongin just continues scrolling through the pictures.
“The bright side is that these are exactly what I wanted,” Jeongin admits. “So, thank you for thirsting after the biggest weirdo in the senior class.”
“He’s not a weirdo,” Seungmin snaps.
“Whatever, Seungmin. I don’t care who you hook up with,” Jeongin assures him. “As long as he’s not in our prom pictures.”
“Prom,” Seungmin repeats with a scoff. “Now that’s a classist institution he wouldn’t be caught dead at.”
“Good. We’re all on the same page,” Jeongin says with the bitchiest tone of voice and smile he can possibly manage. Before Seungmin can chew him out, the bell rings. “Gotta go. I’ll see you in fourth period.”
“Bye,” Seungmin mumbles in response, then scurries off to first period.
By fourth period, Seungmin is overwhelmed with nervousness about how he’s going to tell his friends he wanted to sit with the burnouts instead. After the way Jeongin reacted, he wasn’t sure he had the strength to do that. Just when he’s considering telling both sets of people he needed to see a teacher and hiding in the library all lunch period, he receives a text from Hyunjin.
the guys are going to eat lunch under the bleachers today. you’re still invited obviously but i understand if you want to rain check
Seungmin gnaws at his lip. This was his opportunity to test the waters with Hyunjin’s friends without Jeongin or anyone else knowing. But didn’t the burnouts of all people eating lunch outside mean they’d probably smoke at least a little? Seungmin didn’t know if that was pushing himself too far outside of his comfort zone. It wasn’t like he’d never been around people smoking weed before, but he definitely had never put himself in a position to be caught with drugs at school.
Still, the opportunity to hang out with Hyunjin calls to him, and when the bell rings after fourth period and Jeongin arrives at his desk to walk to the cafeteria together like they did everyday, Seungmin can’t help but lie to him.
“Fuck, I have to go see my calc teacher,” Seungmin complains loudly.
“Ew, can’t you just go after school?” Jeongin asks with a scowl.
“She has to leave right after school today. And it’s Friday, so if I don’t go now I can’t deal with it until next week,” Seungmin elaborates. He hated lying to Jeongin, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth.
“Boo,” Jeongin pouts. “Good luck. I’ll grab you a jello to eat during Physics.”
“You’re an angel,” Seungmin sings, and Jeongin salutes him before turning around and exiting the classroom without him.
Seungmin packs his bag really slowly, and once he’s certain Jeongin is gone, he leaves the room and heads out to the football field.
When he arrives under the bleachers, he finds Hyunjin sitting with the three friends he’d talked about most the night prior: Jisung, Changbin and Felix. Panic starts to overwhelm him when he notices Jisung, who was laying on his back with his head in Felix’s lap, is smoking something. He sits down next to Hyunjin and greets everyone, but he can’t stop staring at Jisung.
“Relax, princess. It’s a cig,” Jisung laughs, rotating his cigarette in his hand so Seungmin could see. “Nicotine. Legal.”
“Oh,” Seungmin says quietly. He already felt discouraged.
“Yeah, we split an edible before you got here because Hyunjin said you’d freak,” Felix informs him. Hyunjin immediately hits him in the stomach. “I- I mean, we did not do that. I mean, we did. But we didn’t do it because of you-”
“You’re making it worse,” Hyunjin snaps, burying his face into his hands. “I told them no drugs when you’re here because I know you wouldn’t want to risk getting caught with anything. The cigarettes are a compromise.”
Seungmin nods, smiling gently at Hyunjin. The fact Hyunjin even thought about that made him feel all warm inside, no matter how small of a compromise it was.
“So, what did your parents do to you that you want to torture them by bringing Hyunjin around?” Jisung asks. Hyunjin’s face contorts into that of a frightened deer, and Changbin practically chokes on his laughter.
“Will you shut up?” Hyunjin groans.
“It’s a fair question,” Changbin insists. Hyunjin raises his hand like he’s gonna hit Changbin before lowering it again.
“Am I really so bad my presence is a punishment?” Hyunjin asks. Jisung shakes his head rapidly.
“I would definitely bring you home, dude,” Felix assures him.
“My parents love you because they’ve seen your house,” Changbin adds with a laugh. “Now, Jisung? Jisung is a punishment.”
“I really am,” Jisung agrees, practically cackling. “Your dad hates me.”
“You made a joke about him having an affair,” Changbin reminds him.
“It was funny!”
“Not when he was actually having one!” Changbin barks. They all laugh except for Seungmin, who can’t even imagine saying something like that to anyone, much less his friends’ parents.
“That’s your dad’s fault for having the affair,” Jisung says decidedly.
“Yeah, your mom’s hot. She doesn’t deserve that,” Felix teases. Changbin turns to glare at him.
“I will crush your pinheaded skull,” Changbin threatens.
“What about you, Seungmin? Your dad ever sleep with one of your older sister’s friends and then get caught because she uploaded a video of him on SnapChat for the entire world to see?” Jisung asks. Seungmin’s eyes widen.
“God,” Changbin laughs. “He’s such an asshole.”
“His transgressions were just an opportunity for me to become your stepdad,” Felix declares.
“Kill you. I will actually kill you,” Changbin snarls, not even bothering to look at him this time.
“I- um. Wow,” Seungmin stammers.
“Wanna know something that makes it all worse?” Hyunjin asks, looking right at Seungmin. Seungmin nods. “They aren’t even playing it up for you. This is always how they act.”
Seungmin bites his lip. If he was going to fit in, he had to find a way to keep up. He cleared his throat, deciding to just jump in.
“To answer your question, my parents didn’t do anything. I don’t think they’d be particularly thrilled by any of you, though,” Seungmin admits. Changbin and Jisung erupt into a bunch of oooooh noises, but Seungmin is only looking at Hyunjin, whose face immediately falls at the revelation. Fuck. “I mean- I don’t know. My parents are really nice. I just don’t think they’d understand the whole look, if that makes sense.”
“Nah, I get it. My parents don’t even understand,” Jisung agrees. There’s some chimes of agreement.
“I think my parents will like you, though,” Seungmin says, gently touching Hyunjin’s knee. “You’re so passionate about music and photography and stuff. My dad loves that, when people my age really care about something. He’s always complaining that some of my friends only focus on dances and dating, and it drives him insane.”
Hyunjin offers him a smile, which Seungmin thinks serves just to let him know he wasn’t angry, and Seungmin smiles back, slowly extending and curling up his fingers around Hyunjin’s kneecap.
“Oh, my god. Can you get a room?” Changbin gags.
“Would your dad like me? I can’t focus on dances or dating because literally no one wants to go to a dance with me nor date me,” Jisung jokes. Seungmin laughs, waving a hand to assure Jisung that wasn't true.
“He’d think you’re funny,” Seungmin admits. “You’re pretty quick-witted.”
“Thank you. I pride myself on being the brains of this friend group,” Jisung beams. He throws his cigarette onto the grass and lets Felix crush it with his boot. Hyunjin quickly picks it up, then fishes a plastic bag from his backpack. He drops the cigarette remnants in before zipping it inside. Seungmin raises an eyebrow at him.
“Litter is destroying our earth,” he advertises.
“More like Jisung’s nicotine addiction is destroying your likelihood of-”
Hyunjin glares at Changbin, who pauses before changing his tone completely.
“Saving our earth!” Changbin concludes. “Hyunjin is very passionate about global warming and climate change. You can tell your dad that.”
Hyunjin sighs loudly.
The boys continue to talk for the rest of lunch, and Seungmin eventually finds his footing and is comfortable tossing back and forth insults with everyone. He got a couple of side-eyes for not knowing bands or artists, but Hyunjin did his best to protect him, which Seungmin thought was pretty sweet. When Seungmin’s alarm to head to class goes off, he’s a little disappointed.
The other guys quickly grab their stuff and head to class, but Hyunjin is a bit lethargic, so Seungmin slows down, too.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll catch up,” Hyunjin tells them. The others take the hint and quickly disappear, leaving just Hyunjin and Seungmin.
“Um, I’m sorry about them,” Hyunjin says quietly. Seungmin shakes his head.
“They’re great. I’m sorry I was awkward about the smoking. And for saying that about my parents not liking you- I didn’t mean it. I really want you to come tonight,” Seungmin pleads. Hyunjin nods.
“I will. Don’t worry about it. I kinda expected your parents to not get it, you know. Nobody does,” Hyunjin reveals. Seungmin pouts, taking his hand into his own.
“I do,” Seungmin stresses.
“You’re seriously too nice to me,” Hyunjin muses, running his thumb across the back of Seungmin’s hand. “It feels completely out of nowhere.”
“It’s... not,” Seungmin confesses. “I don’t really know how much I cared about the yearbook and how much I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Wooooow,” Hyunjin mouths with a laugh. “You could have saved yourself a lot of time by just talking to me.”
“I could barely talk to you when I had a reason to,” Seungmin says, pulling his hand away and instead using it to fix Hyunjin’s hair so it isn’t falling into his eyes. “Listen, I have to go because I’m terrified of being tardy to class, but I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay,” Hyunjin whispers, clearly taken aback by Seungmin touching his face.
“You can come by early if you want. It’s only fair, right? You showed me your room; I’ll show you mine,” he beams. Hyunjin nods.
“I’ll be there,” Hyunjin promises. Seungmin smiles at him one last time, then grabs his backpack and rushes to class.
The rest of the day can’t go by fast enough. He’s delighted when seventh period rolls around and he gets to eat Jeongin’s jello, but answering his questions about how lunch went was an awkward stammering mess to the point he wouldn’t be surprised if Jeongin’s suspicions had been heightened.
When Seungmin finally gets home, he cleans his room like crazy. Seungmin was neat to begin with, but he had to hide everything he didn’t want Hyunjin to see. All of his stuffed animals had to become prisoners in his closet, and his collection of rom-coms had to be hidden behind Tarantino and Fincher movies on his DVD shelf.
Once he’s done that, he’s left to play the waiting game again and elects to duck into the living room to check on his sister and mom. When he walks in, his brat of a sister wiggles her eyebrows at him like she’s onto him.
“What?” Seungmin asks, sitting on the couch next to her.
“Mom thinks this friend of yours isn’t a friend but a friend,” she explains. His mom calls her name sternly. “Sorry. Just sharing the facts.”
“He’s just my friend,” Seungmin addresses easily. “For now.”
“For now!” his mom repeats enthusiastically.
“I don’t know. I like him. Jeongin doesn’t,” Seungmin confides with a tiny sigh.
“It’d be kinda weird if your best friend liked your boyfriend,” his sister decides. Seungmin rolls his eyes.
“Jeongin thinks he’s weird,” Seungmin laments.
“Is he?” she asks.
“Hey,” their mom snaps.
“Kinda,” Seungmin admits. “You’ll see. It’s just that the way he dresses and the things he likes aren’t really the standard around here.”
“Who cares?” she retorts. “The standard around here sucks. This just means he has a brain.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Seungmin contemplates. “I think that’s why I like him, anyway. He’s not like anybody else I’ve liked before.”
“I’ll be honest, Min, I’m a little afraid to see what you mean,” his mom admits. Seungmin offers her a reassuring smile.
“You’ll like him. I promise.”
Seungmin joins his sister in watching roughly half of a horrible teen TV show about a murder in a small town before the doorbell rings. Seungmin’s entire face lights up, jumping to his feet to greet Hyunjin.
“We’re gonna hang out in my room until dinner, alright?” Seungmin informs his mom.
“Door open,” she orders. He scoffs.
“I tried to hold his hand today and literally broke out in a cold sweat. You don’t really have to worry about that,” he remarks.
“Seungmin-”
“Okay, fine,” he agrees, leaving the room and heading toward the door.
When he sees Hyunjin, though, his face immediately falls. He’d removed his earrings and jewelry, and scrubbed the nail polish clean off his fingers. He was wearing white converse, jeans and a striped green t-shirt, halfway tucked into his pants. He’d even parted his hair in the middle and cleanly tucked it behind his ears instead of letting it freely flop around his face. Seungmin, in all his time crushing on Hyunjin, had never seen him like this. And he didn’t really like it.
“Hey,” Hyunjin says sheepishly.
“Um, hi,” Seungmin replies. He grabs his hand and pulls him up the stairs and to his room.
“Your house is really cute. Your mom did a good job of-”
“Thanks,” Seungmin cuts him off, pulling him into his room and pushing the door as close to closed as he could manage without getting chewed out by his mom. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“You don’t like it?” Hyunjin faltered, face dropping completely. Seungmin frowned, immediately regretting what he said. He knew Hyunjin had done this for him, and he’d shattered his efforts in a single, pointed question.
“No, I do,” Seungmin promises, “but I like you more, and this isn’t you.”
Hyunjin blushes, knitting a hand into his hair awkwardly.
“I just didn’t want to embarrass you with the way I look in front of your parents,” Hyunjin admits. “A part of me wanted to cut my hair, but I couldn’t do it. I love it too much.”
“I would’ve cried,” Seungmin half-jokes. “I love your hair, too.”
“Thanks,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, though. I was trying to make your parents like me, and you like me. I kinda thought you wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with me if I didn’t look like… well, me.”
“I’m not ashamed to be seen with you-”
“Did you know Felix sits directly behind you in your physics class? He overheard you telling Jeongin how you spent all lunch slaving over calculus problems,” Hyunjin informs him. “You know, you told me I was wrong to think you’re like the rest of your preppy friends, but you feel the same way about me. You’re just too nice to say it.”
“That’s not true,” Seungmin insists. “I like how you look. I like your taste in music. I like how you dress and talk and just the way you are. But I’ve always cared about what other people think of me. So when I told Jeongin I liked you and he didn’t react that well, I just panicked and lied. I’m not like you and Changbin and Felix and Jisung where I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. I wish I was, but I can’t change that overnight.”
“You think we genuinely don’t give a shit?” Hyunjin exclaims. “Of course we care. We’re in fucking high school. It’s easy to play games and pretend you don’t care about anyone or anything, but when it comes down to it, it hurts to have been made fun of for four years by people like your friends. And even then, I still jumped when you gave me attention.”
“Hyunjin, I-”
“Maybe I should go,” Hyunjin decides. “I think this was all a mistake. I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t go,” Seungmin begs, grabbing his wrist.
“I need to,” Hyunjin asserts. He snatches his arm away, and less than a minute later Seungmin hears the front door shut.
Seungmin doesn’t leave his room again that night. He doesn’t leave his room for most of the weekend, in fact. By Saturday afternoon, his sister has crawled into bed next to him and is watching Netflix on her iPad, providing emotional support while he dramatically stares at the ceiling and rants about how stupid he is. By Sunday evening, even his sister is sick of him.
“Seungmin, why don’t you just fix this?” she queries, pausing her show and flipping onto her side so she can look at him.
“How do you suggest I do that?” he grumbles.
“Tell Jeongin where you really were. Apologize to Hyunjin. Hang out with him in public,” she suggests. “It’s not rocket science. He’s hurt because he thinks you’re embarrassed of him. And you are.”
“I am not,” he states confidently.
“Yes, you are. I know you don’t think you are because you actually like him, but you literally hid him from Jeongin. You text Jeongin to let him know you checked the mail.”
Seungmin’s heart sinks. She was right. He grabs one of his pillows and buries his face into it, letting out a loud scream.
“Fix this, Seungmin,” she repeats in the snappiest tone she can muster in order to motivate him. He sighs. He would. He had to.
The next morning, Seungmin crawls out of bed for the first time in two solid days. He showers and fixes his hair and puts on his favorite, blue sweater. He feels good, which isn’t how he expected to feel after the weekend he had.
For the first four periods of the day, he maintains that mood. Then the bell rings. And fourth period ends. And it’s lunch time. And he has to come clean to Jeongin.
“Hey, stranger,” Jeongin sings, arriving at his desk so they can walk to the cafeteria together as usual. “We didn’t talk all weekend. How did your non-date with Nosferatu go?”
“It didn’t end up happening,” Seungmin informs him with a frown.
“Oh, thank god,” Jeongin says, voice dripping with relief and resting a hand over his heart. “I knew you’d come to your senses. You know, if you’re lonely, I’m positive we can find you someone actually suitable-”
“It didn’t happen because he didn’t want to be around me, not the other way around,” Seungmin admits, “and it made me so sad I laid in bed alone all weekend.”
“Oh, Min,” Jeongin practically whimpers. “It’s okay. He probably wants a fellow vampire. Lestat, maybe.”
“No,” Seungmin snaps. “It’s because my friends treat him and his friends badly. I treat him badly. Instead of admitting to you I went to hang out with him during lunch on Friday, I made up a whole elaborate lie, and I’m so stupid that I repeated it to you right in front of his best friend.”
“You ditched me to hang out with him?” Jeongin realizes with a frown. “You said you had a calc quiz-”
“I made it up! I made it all up!” Seungmin cries out. “I was too fucking stuck up to just admit I wanted to hang out with someone who isn’t on student council and doesn’t letter in a sport. It’s embarrassing. We graduate in a couple of months, and I’m still so consumed by cliques I couldn’t just enjoy hanging out with a guy who I’ve had a crush on for a year.”
“A year? Seungmin, what the fuck is going on?” Jeongin bellows.
“I don’t know how to spell this out. I’ve liked him for a long time. I finally got to talk to him, and I think he liked me, too, but I was too afraid of people like Minho and Chan and you judging me. I fucked it up. But I like him, and I even like his friends. I like him so much that when I ate lunch with them and Jisung was smoking a cigarette, it didn’t even bother me even though cancer kills.”
“Seungmin,” Jeongin whispers with a tiny laugh. “I’m sorry. If you like him, be with him. I know I’m judgmental and harsh sometimes, but if you just told me how you felt and told me to stop, I would have. I care more about you than I do about what people think.”
“Thank you,” Seungmin says, just as lowly. Jeongin sighs loudly in response.
“Now, go apologize to him, you fucking idiot,” Jeongin barks. “Hot goth boys are a hot commodity in this day and age. If you don’t do something, you’re not gonna end up together, and that’s gonna be a really lame and awkward end to this story.”
Seungmin nods with a laugh, wiping away the tears that had welled up in his eyes when he was yelling at Jeongin.
“He actually doesn’t consider himself to be goth-”
“Seungmin, I am really trying right now, and if you don’t get out of here before I think about when his friends got high on Xanax and ripped down all the spring fling banners I spent an entire weekend painting, so help me god,” Jeongin growls.
Seungmin nods, quickly grabbing his bag and waving to Jeongin who, once again, salutes him for good luck. He scales down the stairs and across the school to the Cafeteria. When he sees Hyunjin’s table is empty, he grumbles quietly to himself, then turns around and practically runs to the back of the school where the fields reside.
When he arrives, he finds the same crew from Friday under the same bleachers and in almost the same position; Changbin and Hyunjin were as far back as they could manage without bumping their heads, Felix sat with his back against the far cement wall holding the bleachers steady and Jisung laid with his head in Felix’s lap. Before he can even get close enough to say anything, he’s spotted by Jisung, and all hell starts to break loose.
“Dude, if you don’t get the fuck out of here,” Jisung warns, sitting up in case the situation escalated.
“This is an invite only event,” Changbin says dramatically. “So get lost.”
“I- I just- can we just talk?” Seungmin begs, looking at no one but Hyunjin, who had thankfully revived his usual look. He notices Hyunjin had pierced his nose, which provides a sort of comfort to Seungmin. His own response had been to lie in bed. Hyunjin’s had been to stab a needle through his face.
“He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Jisung says with a scoff. Hyunjin just stares at the floor so he doesn’t have to make eye contact.
“Hyunjin, please,” Seungmin practically agonizes. When he doesn’t get a response, he decides he has to do something extreme. “Do you want to go to prom with me?”
Hyunjin’s head whips up so fast Seungmin thinks he heard something snap in his neck. Changbin and Jisung immediately burst into laughter.
“He said prom,” Jisung mocked.
“What does going prom with you entail for someone like us? Does he get to go inside the venue or just wait in the car?” Changbin ponders.
“Definitely in the car. He’s allowed to leave the AC on, but the radio is off-limits,” Jisung hypothesizes.
“But wait, don’t rich preppies pay for a limo for these things? What then?”
“You’re crazy if you think he gets to come in the limo when he spends all day hanging out with the poors-”
“Will you two shut the fuck up for once?” Hyunjin growls. They both stop dead in their tracks. Hyunjin quickly climbs to his feet and makes his way out from under the bleachers and over to Seungmin. “Do you mean it? You really want to go to prom with me?”
“More than anything,” Seungmin states. Hyunjin bites his lip.
“And it would just be normal? I get to be in the group with your friends. They all know I’m your date. You dance with me even during the slow songs. We take pictures together—”
“Yes. Of course,” Seungmin promises him. “I told Jeongin I lied, and I told him I care about you. I’ll tell all my friends. I don’t care anymore. Genuinely.”
“Okay,” Hyunjin whispers.
“Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll go to prom with you,” Hyunjin agrees. Seungmin grins, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and cautiously meeting their lips.
Seungmin feels like everything is perfect in that moment, until he tries to turn his head to the side and accidentally bumps Hyunjin’s nose with his own. Hyunjin winces in pain, pulling away and cupping his nose. His friends all gasp in horror.
“Jesus, are you okay?” Seungmin asks, removing both of Hyunjin’s hands from his face so he can look at his nose clearly. When it seems fine, he just knits each of his hands with one of Hyunjin’s.
“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just new,” Hyunjin explains.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Seungmin croons. “I really like it.”
“You like it?” he repeats. Seungmin nods. “Well, that really sucks. I specifically got it because I was mad at you and thought you wouldn’t.”
Seungmin laughs, cautiously pecking his lips one more time.
“What did I say about you two getting a fucking roooooooooooom?” Changbin howls. Hyunjin and Seungmin just look at each other and laugh.
Maybe guys like Seungmin were meant to fall for guys like Hyunjin after all.