Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hiei didn’t know how he let himself get talked into attending this mess.

He cringed at the volume of the loud music that blared and elevated as he entered his old comrade’s wedding reception. Immediately, he knew he shouldn’t have come. It was not the first party Hiei allowed himself to be talked into attending since he started going between the two worlds to visit Yukina from time to time. The first had been the meeting/reunion at Genkai’s temple which was fine. He made a late appearance, got Yukina alone to return her hiruiseki stone and tell her that her brother was dead. That interaction was acceptable and necessary, but then the get-togethers started getting ridiculous such as the current celebration.

At each event, his friends usually drank and made fools of themselves. Between Yusuke’s engagement party, Christmas parties, New Year’s, and even Easter parties of all things, Hiei wondered how he allowed himself to be talked into being a part of this ‘wedding’. Usually, it was directly or indirectly related to Yukina, for the fox usually brought her into the mix. This time was completely different entirely.

It had been three years since Hiei attended any event to which he was invited. The last one he experienced had been a horrible experience for him. Blasting music played then too, and even Yukina took part in the human pastime of ‘social drinking’. He was used to Kuwabara acting off when he drank, wanted to kill the spirit swordsman for going after his sister, but that time he was the ‘Dee Dee’…whatever that meant, and Yukina was the one drinking and coming onto Kuwabara right in front of the fire demon. That was the time where Hiei learned that human alcohol could still affect a demon. He swore he’d never touch the stuff or come to another pointless gathering.

Hiei rationalized that he would not attend another gathering, but that was until the end of the second Demon World Tournament. After Enki won once again, the group went to a nearby bar to catch up, including Kuwabara who surprisingly competed along with them. Kurama informed everyone that he started working a human job Hiei did not care to get details, and Yusuke had seemingly come a long way. He told his friends he’d be getting married within the year. His woman wanted a spring wedding, and so here Hiei was, in the middle of April, at their wedding.

The detective wanted them all there to stand at his side during the ceremony. Though Hiei didn’t know much about human customs, he knew that that was a big deal. Despite Hiei’s disinterest with human customs and weddings, he felt compelled to honor the detective’s request. Yusuke never had very many. It was out of respect and his duty towards a comrade-in-arms that led to this lapse in judgement.

It was a small ceremony; the couple went all out, and it was incredibly traditional. That was until they got to the reception. Tradition was thrown to the wind there. First off, they were in this hall, and there were quite a bit of people including Yusuke’s mother, who had to be the worst drinker out of them all, and Keiko’s family and some friends of the girl from her time away at school. They invited Kuwabara’s and Kurama’s family, not to mention Yusuke’s demon friends who all pretended to be some sort of street performers to mislead the humans who knew nothing about them. Hiei figured that was Kurama’s doing. Surprisingly enough, the redhead already downed a bunch of drinks, but he was still scarily observant even in his drunken state.

There were many times where Yusuke grabbed Keiko and kissed her in front of everyone. All but Hiei would cheer. He didn’t understand these public displays of affection. Yukina was once again all over Kuwabara, and both clearly had one too many. Hiei spent most of the time glaring daggers at the redhead while he attempted to hold himself back. If he made a scene here, his sister would wind up learning his identity, and Hiei refused to let that happen. The music got louder as did this rowdy crowd. Hiei was irate and needed to cool off.

Unlike Genkai’s temple, he really didn’t know where he could go. His first instinct was to leave the room, so he exited the hall into the lobby of some Human World hotel. It was much less vociferous and deafening out here, so Hiei decided to sit and let the peaceful silence wash over him.

The loud bass beat of the music struck him again as the doors opened and closed. “Hiei?”

He really couldn’t catch a break, could he? The fire demon tilted his head only to see the blue-haired ferry girl approach him. His lip curled into a sneer; a growl rumbled lowly in his chest. She didn’t seem to mind as she took a seat next to him. As Hiei looked at her, his eyes landed on the one thing he didn’t expect to see.

An empty wine glass. And she was usually the only one who remained sober at these events, and ironically the one he always ran into when they both tried to get away from their rambunctious colleagues. This time, they got to her, too.

His eyes narrowed as he spoke one determined word. “Leave.”

Botan was unfazed. In fact, she smiled and giggled. Crap, the alcohol had already taken its effect. “Oh, Hiei, you’re so funny,” the ferry girl chimed. “Come back inside and join the party. You don’t want to sit alone out here. It’s a happy day.”

Hiei was by no means happy, and he truly did want to sit alone out here. He wanted to threaten her into leaving him be, but he knew she wouldn’t take him seriously. “I don’t deal with drunkards well. Apparently, you’ve fallen into that class.”

Botan frowned slightly, but then smiled. “Oh, I’m not that drunk. I only had a couple. It just helped to take the edge off.”

“Edge off of what?” Hiei questioned immediately, mentally cursing his own curious nature.

Botan then started to explain a series of events that made Hiei wonder why anyone ever went through with this wedding ceremony thing. Apparently, the dress was lost for an hour, and then somehow the bakers went to the wrong hotel. In addition, Yusuke ran late for one reason or another…the detective said it was traffic, but the fear in Kuwabara’s eyes when the girls looked at him told a different story. Then it turned out that the detective never picked up the rings earlier in the week, so Botan had to fly to the jeweler’s and get back in time. Apparently, everyone’s nerves had been high, and so the hotel brought everyone glasses of complimentary champagne.

“So, I drank a couple of those,” Botan explained, “though I’m a little drunk because I’m not used to drinking and I didn’t get a chance to eat much of anything until this last hour.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted in acceptance, although he was far from understanding. “I don’t see why anyone would go through the trouble of some grandiose ceremony to say that they’re mates. In Demon World, you just are. No one needs a big production.”

“Oh?” Botan asked, interested a little in his words. With her inhibitions lowered, she had no problem asking the most invasive questions. “If you know about it, does that mean you have a mate?”

Hiei’s eyes narrowed, but he said nothing. The answer was a resounding ‘no’. She should have assumed that. Why would she think otherwise? Hiei hated everyone on a good day. “You better get back inside. I have no intention of entertaining your drunken self.”

“Wow,” Botan murmured. “You really do need to loosen up.” At Hiei’s heated glare, Botan held her hands up. Good. At least she still had her self-preservation about her. She wasn’t totally foolish. “Shizuru said it when she saw you leave. I came to make sure you were okay.”

“I am not a child,” Hiei remarked angrily. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know,” Botan stated, her brows furrowed. “Just, well…we’re friends. I wanted to make sure you were enjoying yourself.”

That was a concept Hiei never understood—going out of his way to make sure anyone was enjoying themselves. He also never saw the annoying woman as anything more than a Spirit World hindrance, and yet she considered them friends. Pathetic. “Go back inside. I do not need your company.”

He could see hurt flash through the woman’s eyes, but she quickly recovered and smiled at him. “I’ll go back inside if you go with me. You really could use a drink.”

“You’re an idiot,” he spat as she tried to move him by weakly pulling at his arm. “Nothing you can say or do will make me drink that poison. I’d prefer not to become a senseless buffoon.”

Botan only grinned. “I think you’re scared to let go. I was too, but it’s okay.”

“You’re only saying that now,” Hiei grunted. “Leave me alone.”

The ferry girl couldn’t take the hint at all. She only smiled and giggled again. “You really are scared. Maybe I need to start speaking your language.” Hiei rolled his eyes only to have the woman invade his personal space, her lips dangerously close to his ear. His stomach dropped inside of him. What the hell was she doing? Not even that. What the hell was he doing? How had he not dodged that? “We can go to the bar and have a drinking contest.”

He regained his stoic composure. “What possible reason would I have to accept that?”

“If you don’t, I’ll just tell our friends you chickened out of a challenge,” Botan grinned impishly.

Hiei’s expression remained impassive as he said, “You’ve already had a few too many. You’re at a disadvantage.”

“Then the game would be over quicker, and you’d have the advantage,” Botan remarked. “But I think I could take you. And if I win, you have to come back to the party.”

Well, Hiei didn’t really want to accept, but he held his share of Demon World liquors in his day. They were much stronger than the ones of Human World, and Botan was already drunk. If he went along with it, she’d probably be passed out in moments, and he could leave freely. Plus, he didn’t like her threat of telling anyone he backed down. Hiei never backed down from anything, and he would defeat this weak ferry girl. “Fine,” he relented.

Botan grabbed his arm, overly excited. “What do you want if you win?” she asked him.

Hiei figured she should know the answer but, in her stupor, he’d need to be specific. “I have no desire to return to that blasted ‘party’,” he told her forcefully. “If I win, I’m leaving.”

“Well, that’s fair,” Botan replied, her smile softening. “Let’s go.”

Hiei didn’t know where he was. The room was dark and unfamiliar. He was lying down on something soft and not in a tree as he was so accustomed. He was in a sea of white fluff, blankets if he remembered their texture correctly. Well, sheets to be more specific. He felt sweaty and hot, more so than usual. Had he been training? Was he back at Mukuro’s, and if so, why couldn’t he remember? He wouldn’t have been in a bed either, unless he injured himself severely which rarely happened. The only time he woke up in a bed was after Mukuro had him healed in that liquid chamber, and the bed was not this comfortable.

Where the hell was he?

A moan to the side of him made him freeze before he narrowed his eyes. There was someone in the room with him, and that person was going to die. He reached to the white blanket and pushed it off of him only to be met with a sight he did not expect. There was another person in the bed, a much larger bed than he had ever seen, and that person had blue hair.

No, Hiei thought darkly to himself. No, no, no. There was no way he was in bed with the ferry girl. Unfortunately, he could never mistake that shade of blue. What was worse was that he knew himself to be naked, and her shoulder covered by the sheet was bare. His expression grew grim. How had this happened? After a moment of thought, he remembered that the previous night he attended the detective’s wedding and nearly left it.

He had been alone, and the annoying witch followed him out and harassed him. She tried to force him back only to challenge him to a drinking contest that Hiei knew he’d win. His mind started to clear and hazy memories returned of the two of them sitting at the bar with a bunch of drinks—drinks Hiei thought to be weak. The ferry girl did better than Hiei expected, and he needed to up his game. He remembered a lot of laughing, strangely enough on both their parts, and then the woman’s loss when she finally couldn’t drink anymore. He won, though Botan was far from disappointed. She smiled at him, and for a moment his eyes had darted to her lips. When she expressed that he beat her and was free to leave, he remembered his own voice demand that she was going with him.

Hiei sat up and glared down at his hands. This whole mess was his own doing, from the moment he allowed her to speak to him to accepting her senseless challenge to initiating this event. His eyes landed on her sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, relaxed, and content—all things that Hiei was not. He felt perturbed, agitated, and angry with both the woman and himself. Had she not pursued him, this wouldn’t have happened.

It really shouldn’t have happened even though she had. Hiei never did anything he didn’t want to do, and he definitely hadn’t wanted to sleep with a Spirit World drone. He accepted his responsibility in accepting the contest, but she needed to take responsibility as well. She shouldn’t have allowed herself to get that drunk around him. Weren’t there laws in Spirit World against this? There had to be.

He wasn’t going to get anywhere sitting there either scolding himself or debating Spirit World regulation. He needed to get out of there before the woman woke up and saw him in such a state of undress. Certainly she saw more the night prior, however she most likely had no memory due to her alcohol consumption. He himself only remembered flashes, and those alone made him feel disgust.

The ferry girl stirred at the most inopportune moment and turned to see Hiei putting on his pants and grabbing the rest of his clothes. She blinked the bleariness of sleep from her eyes which eventually reflected her confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but Hiei stopped her as he reached the door. “Don’t,” he commanded. She closed her mouth instantly. “You will speak of this to no one.” And with that, he was gone, and the door to the hotel room slammed shut.

Botan blinked a few times in surprise, still trying to orient herself. Her head felt clouded and hazy still, and she could remember nothing after starting a drinking contest with Hiei. She blushed remembering the moments she giggled like a maniac or invaded the fire demon’s personal space. Her lips twitched upward when she realized that he couldn’t have been too angry for he remained with her instead of leaving. Her mind remembered nothing after that, though it was hard to when her head was spinning and ears were ringing. Immediately, she made her way to the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach. Huh…so that was the reason Kurama had told her not to drink much more than what she already had.

Now, Botan was no fool. She knew that alcohol could have a bad effect on people. She had ferried souls of those who took it too far. It was why she avoided alcohol for so long. Still, she felt she should experience drunkenness at least once in this human body of hers, plus she really had been stressed and the man offering them the champagne said it would help get rid of that. It definitely had, and she then wondered why she never tried it before. Her friends would never let her get to the point she feared. Besides, now her curiosity was sated.

As a ferry girl, Botan never really got to feel the physical things others felt. She was basically a spirit. The only time she felt anything physical like a touch or hunger was when she was in this human form Koenma gave her. Botan liked experiencing new things in this human body. She remembered what it was like to feel rain on her skin for the first time, and the feeling of freshly cut grass in the spring. She also had the drawbacks where she felt pain here and there, especially when she was involved in the boys’ missions. Well, she couldn’t really call them boys anymore. They had all grown up so much, strangely enough herself included.

Because she could feel more, it helped Botan to be more understanding in her job as ferry girl. It was a blessing in disguise. Even now, this human body felt like a part of her. She was glad she got to visit her friends and experience all their joys with them.

Of course, she was getting sidetracked. Hiei’s behavior had certainly been strange when he left, and Botan was starting to wonder why. Her brows furrowing again. She looked around the room, her eyes widening as she realized that she was in a hotel room and was in the bed. The spot next to her was unmade and tousled. Most of the room looked like a bomb went off too. She tried to make sense of Hiei’s final words before his departure. “You will speak of this to no one.”

Speak of what? Botan wondered. Why was Hiei so angry? Was it because they shared a bed together? Slept together? And why wasn’t she wearing any clothes? Botan’s mind sparked at that. She heard something like that the morning of Keiko’s and Yusuke’s wedding. Ever the traditionalist, Keiko wanted Yusuke to stay at Kuwabara’s while she stayed at home so that nothing would happen before their wedding night. Of course, Kuwabara still lived with Shizuru, so the elder Kuwabara noticed when Yusuke snuck out that night to be with Keiko. When Shizuru brought it up with the bride, Keiko turned red and shouted that they hadn’t slept together. She explained that Yusuke came because he couldn’t fall asleep, now so used to sleeping in the same bed as her. Shizuru then said, “So you slept together in the literal sense, and not the figurative. Big deal.”

Botan’s eyes widened. Oh… Oh!

Had she slept with Hiei in both the literal and figurative sense?

If that were the case, she understood his abrupt departure. She couldn’t remember it happening, but that didn’t mean it didn’t. To be honest, she wouldn’t mind if they did. Hiei was a swell guy, and it definitely could have been worse. At least she was with a friend drunk instead of a stranger. She didn’t know what she’d do then. Sure, it might be embarrassing and awkward for the both of them, but since neither of them remembered it, they could move on and pretend it didn’t happen. Botan knew it wasn’t so cut and dry, but she was hopeful and optimistic, and she really didn’t want hers and Hiei’s acquaintance to be muddled by something they couldn’t remember.

She’d have to talk to him about it next time she saw him. He was probably long gone by now. All she could do was honor his request and keep quiet about what she believed happened between them. Maybe she was all wrong and something else occurred. It didn’t really matter now, anyway. She needed to return to Spirit World right away after she said ‘goodbye’ to the newlyweds. Although she would have loved to continue to stay in the bed, she really needed to wash up, so she covered herself with the sheet, kicked her legs over the edge, and got up way too quickly.

Botan grabbed the bed and bit her lip as she felt discomfort. Her sides hurt slightly, and when she looked, she saw the bruises that formed, not to mention pain she couldn’t describe which made it very difficult to walk. She shrugged it off, not really understanding why she felt that way. Though she didn’t remember sleeping with Hiei, she knew it had to be related to that. She wondered if she could talk to someone about that, but she didn’t want to trouble her friends with awkward questions and the other ferry girls wouldn’t really know either. Besides, she had work to do.

Maybe after she took a hot shower, the pain would go away and she’d feel better.

A month passed since Yusuke’s and Keiko’s wedding, and everyone returned to their normal lives. Though Botan missed her friends dearly, she spent more time ferrying souls. She had been restless, which was something she normally only felt in her human body. She even felt unusually moody. It was definitely strange, especially when she nearly bit poor George’s head off for no reason. She really didn’t like that.

Another week passed, and Botan knew what that meant. Due to having a human body, she also had those pesky effects like the need to use the bathroom and, even worse, the female monthly cycle. She kept excellent track during all the months where she was on missions with the boys so she would know when it would happen and would remain in her human body that whole week. If not, she’d get it the second she became human, and it would always make her feel sick.

Despite her excellent record keeping, it never came, though parts of her body, her chest for example, felt tender, and she felt nauseated from time to time. It was not pleasant, but there wasn’t much she could do but wait. She knew that Keiko said something once about hers being late because of stress one time after the Dark Tournament. Botan didn’t really understand the whole process, but she did know that she had been stressed, for she took it out on poor George once again. She decided to remain in her human form for an extra week. Her period was sure to come eventually.

That had been a bad idea. The next week, Botan felt horribly bloated and sick, and she had to use the bathroom every five minutes! It made her even more moody because she couldn’t get the sleep she needed as a result. In addition to feeling bloated, she was starting to get heartburn or indigestion whenever she ate something. She must have caught something while being out and about, and now she’d have to wait out the sickness. She had to do that for a cold before because Koenma warned her that if she returned to spirit form, the cold wouldn’t go away. She needed to treat herself.

So she tried taking antacids, which helped only slightly, but the nausea would not leave her. No matter what she did, she couldn’t shake it. In fact, shaking was a bad idea, and so she asked Koenma if she could take the week off to recover from this bug. Flying on her oar made her feel too sick and dizzy. Koenma agreed to let Botan rest and recover for the week. She could tell her friend was concerned for her. Although she still felt restless, she tried to sleep as much as possible. She was feeling pretty tired, too, though she hated waking up in a puddle of her own drool. She never drooled in her sleep, ever, and now she seemed to be salivating all day long. What kind of virus was this, and why wasn’t her body fighting it off? She was even eating fruits high in vitamin C. Nothing was working. Her incredibly sore breasts were not helping her either.

By the next week, Botan felt horrible. She got so incredibly sick by the end of her vacation, threw up horribly almost every night or when she smelled something unusually displeasing. One night it was so bad that Hinageshi stayed with her and watched her with wide eyes full of uncertainty. The redhead left Botan to get Koenma. The Spirit World ruler nearly ran in to see Botan hugging the toilet. The ferry girl looked up at him with teary eyes. His softened as he moved to help her up. “You must really be sick,” he murmured softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Botan weakly replied. “Sir, what are you doing in your teen form?”

Koenma merely smiled and chuckled quietly. “I could reach you quicker this way,” he explained. “Botan, maybe you should see a doctor. Don’t forget we have one here for when the guys came back from the really intensive missions.”

“I know,” Botan agreed. “Just, I really hoped it would go away so I could just return to my spirit form. It’s been very exhausting.”

“I can imagine,” Koenma stated. “Well, let’s take you there now. Hopefully, they’ll be able to determine what’s wrong with you.”

“I’m/She’s what?”

Both Botan and Koenma gaped at the astonished doctor who had nary an explanation. “Yes, well,” he coughed lightly. “Uh, Botan is pregnant, sir.”

“Pregnant,” the Reikai ruler breathed out. “Unbelievable. How is that possible? Ferry girls can’t get pregnant.”

“That is normally true,” the doctor stated, “but Botan is not like the other ferry girls. Firstly, you allowed her to have this human body. You had to know that she could experience the same bodily functions. If not you, she had to know when she had a period.”

Botan blushed as the male doctor and her friend and boss both looked at her expectantly. “I…I knew, but it never really occurred to me that I could—”

“Plus, she is practically given free rein in coming and going to Human World, so it’s possible and more feasible for her to go against protocol and lay with a human.”

“That will be all, doctor,” Koenma immediately cut him off with a glare. The man bowed quickly and left the two alone to discuss what was happening. “You okay?”

“I…” Botan started before she stopped herself and thought it over. “I’m actually not very sure,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, Koenma, sir… I didn’t think this would happen.”

“How did it happen?” Koenma asked, though his voice held much less judgment than the doctor. He, himself, was hardly a saint when it came to the other two worlds. He held leniency for his old team, and Botan was a part of it and a very good and loyal friend. She even helped the prince when it came to wooing Ayame. The relationship between two spirits was much different from a relationship between individuals in the other two worlds that Botan had inadvertently become a part of. “I won’t be angry, but we’ll need to come up with a plan.”

“You will speak of this to no one.”

Botan bit her lip nervously. She knew Koenma wouldn’t be angry with her. Even if Hiei was as wasted as she was, Koenma might give the fire demon grief. “I don’t really remember,” she lied. “I was really drunk at Yusuke’s and Keiko’s wedding. I probably should have cut myself off.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Koenma replied, smiling weakly. “Botan, this is serious…not because of my father’s old laws, but because you’re a ferry girl. I don’t know what going between the two forms will do to the baby.”

Botan’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t really thought of that. Pregnancy lasted nine months, and in that time the baby needed to grow and feed off of her. She was two months along, confirmed by the doctor diagnosing her morning sickness, meaning the baby had already been growing and hadn’t waited to start growing before she returned to human form. That means it would grow in nine months whether she was a spirit or not, and that was terrifying. No, she needed to stay human for the length of it. Despite not being prepared, or knowing much about pregnancy, she wasn’t going to let anything happen to a baby…her baby.

Her baby. Boy, did that sound strange, and even stranger still was that Hiei was the father. Now, more than ever, did she wish she remembered what exactly happened between them. Unfortunately, she had little time to focus on that. She had bigger problems. “Oh…Koenma, what do I do?”

Kurama returned home after a long day of teaching. He taught at a university. In fact, one of his mother’s friends got him the job after she saw his beautiful plants. Apparently, the university was looking for a botany professor. Kurama thought that it would be a good way to fit into this human lifestyle he took. Besides, in a way, he felt like he was giving back. He had all of this knowledge, and he once used it for thievery and violence. Here, he used it for the betterment of society and engaging individuals far, far younger than him. It was a great job, too, especially paired with his private floral business.

The house was empty. He still chose to live with his mother and her husband. Leaving did not appeal to him, especially after the months before the first demon world tournament. Yomi threatened his family’s safety, and despite the other demon accepting his choice to remain in Human World, Kurama would take no chances. He made many enemies in the past. Besides, he contributed and helped his mother around the house, and Shiori actually enjoyed his company. Their relationship had become much better the more he came to accept his human life as Shuichi Minamino.

A knock on the door the second Kurama settled down on the couch caused him to open his eyes and jump back up. That was an unusual occurrence. Everyone in their family had keys, and every set was missing from the glass bowl on the small table by the door save his which he returned after he let himself in.

Kurama went to open the door and was surprised to see his blue-haired friend standing in front of him with a large suitcase and a sheepish smile. “Hello, Kurama,” she chimed as normal. “Would you mind helping me? This is killing my back, and it can’t be good for the baby.” The normally impassive demon’s green eyes were enlarged as his mouth dropped open. Botan blushed and moved one of her hands to her mouth. “Oopsie…I suppose I was supposed to be more delicate. Uh, can you—?”

Before Botan could ask or say anything else, Kurama grabbed the suitcase from her and then pulled her inside his home. He ignored Botan’s yelp and brought her to the kitchen before he placed her bag in the living room for now. The only thought that ran through his head was…

Well, this should be interesting.

Chapter Text

Botan nervously fidgeted under Kurama’s gaze. After she showed up on his doorstep and dropped her bomb, Kurama sat her down and got her a small plate of delicious fruit. He was watching her eat, studying her like she was a safe he wanted to crack, and it made the ferry girl feel very self-conscious. The fox demon was not looking at her like she was a friend in need, but a problem to solve. He hadn’t said anything to her since he pulled her into the house. She was unnerved.

“So…” she awkwardly stated as she began to pick at the fruit, “not that I’m not enjoying the silence, but could you stop staring at me. You’re making me feel really nervous.”

A warm smile graced her friend’s features. “Apologies. I just never thought it possible for a ferry girl to become pregnant. It took me by surprise.”

“Us too,” Botan replied. She looked down at her body. “This is all very new to me. I knew pregnancy was tough on women, but feeling it is so much different. I don’t know what to do.”

Kurama could empathize. No, he was not in a woman’s body, but he had been a powerful demon with incredible power taking refuge in the body of a small human baby. He had to suffer within his own mind for years as his body developed, unable to form words or vent his frustration at being so weak and vulnerable. Despite how much he detested Shiori back then, she cared for his every need while he gathered his strength. It was a vastly different situation to what Botan was experiencing, but he knew she’d be frustrated at times. It was completely understandable. She didn’t know what to expect.

An idea hit the redhead as he stood up and went over to his mother’s bookshelf. Though his mother did not have any more children, she kept this particular book in her collection. Kurama remembered stumbling across it whenever he went to read a new book as a kid. He only read part of it once before he decided the subject material really didn’t matter. It’s not like it affected him.

“Here,” Kurama said kindly. He handed the book to Botan.

The ferry girl took it from his hands. her brows furrowed in confusion. “‘What to expect when you’re expecting’,” she read skeptically. “This will help?”

“Hopefully,” Kurama responded. “This is a book that most pregnant women read when they’re expecting a baby. It should list everything you need to know down to symptoms and when you should start seeing a doctor.”

Botan’s eyes widened. “Wow, I never even thought of that. I can’t go to a doctor. I’m not really human.”

“You are for now,” Kurama reminded her. “The only issue will be insurance, but if you talk to Koenma, I’m certain he will know what to do about that.”

“This is all so complicated,” Botan sighed. “I don’t even know how to process it all to start coming up with a plan. And this annoying sick feeling just won’t go away.”

“I understand,” Kurama soothed. “You will be fine. I do know that if you eat smaller meals throughout the day, it will help, and eating fruit will give you vitamins, water, and help if everything else is making you feel nauseous.”

“Really?” Botan asked, feeling skeptical as she looked at her plate. “Well, I’m willing to try anything. As long as I don’t get sick again.”

Kurama flashed her a wry smile. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Your body is about to be put through the ringer, and you may get sick more often than you’d like.”

Botan pouted at that and kicked her foot against the carpet. “Oh, poo…”

The usually cheerful ferry girl became sullen, and Kurama figured it was time to switch gears. “Can you tell me how this happened?” The question had plagued him since the moment Botan let the words slip. Now seemed like as good a time as any to ask.

Botan sucked in a surprised gasp before her lips pressed into a thin line. Hiei had said to tell ‘no one’, meaning she absolutely could not tell Kurama. Of course, she was horrible at keeping secrets, and it did actually involve her. Would it really be so bad if she said something? Oh, who was she kidding! Of course it would! Despite the fact that she was carrying Hiei’s child, he still probably wouldn’t hesitate to tear her limb from limb. Or would he? Why did this have to be so complicated?

Kurama could see the frustration in her eyes. It looked like she was warring with herself on whether or not she should confide in him. It was easy to tell from the powerful aura she was exuding that she was not having a normal human child. She smelled distinctly demonic, and so Kurama knew it happened the night of Yusuke’s wedding. She wasn’t far along, and the last time the group had seen any of their demon friends was at the reception. Clearly, she ended up with one of the demons, and there was only one who was absent from the room while she was and who would not be thrilled with their group finding out. “Does Hiei know?”

Her mouth gaped open, and Kurama knew then, even though she stammered, “H-Hiei? W-what does he have to do with this? I never said...” She looked completely horrified. “How did you know?”

Her friend offered an empathetic smile. “The child’s smell is that of a demon. It narrowed it down quite a bit, unless you somehow ended up with Chuu. He and Hiei were the only ones who were out of the room when you were.”

With a pout, Botan grumbled, “Why do you have to be so observant?” Kurama patted her head empathetically, and Botan sighed and dropped her head. “What do I do? How can I even think to go to him with this?”

“Do not worry,” Kurama assured her. “It’s not like you can make the trip to Demon World to tell him. You won’t have to say anything.”

The woman’s eyes widened slightly. “But isn’t that cruel? I don’t want to keep our child from him. I just don’t know how to even broach the topic.”

“Hiei will find out in due time,” Kurama ascertained. “For now, you need to focus on your next step. I will help in any way that I can.”

“Well…” Botan murmured. “I could really use a nap.”

Kurama chuckled at that. “My room is free for the time being. I have an errand I need to run, anyway. My mother may show up before I get back.”

“Oh,” Botan nervously whispered. “Uh…what should I tell her about me being here?”

“You can just tell her that you are a friend,” Kurama explained. “I’ve mentioned you all, and she’s met many of the others. It should be fine.”

“Well, alrighty then,” Botan chimed. “Thank you so much, Kurama. I’m just really tired.”

Kurama nodded. “Make sure to drink plenty of water,” he told her. “You’ll need it.”

“Okie dokie,” Botan chirped before she jumped up and made her way up the stairs.

Kurama held his smile until he heard his door shut. Then, his expression darkened. He was completely surprised that Botan and Hiei wound up together, and he could only imagine what his friend was thinking. Hiei did not let people in, nor was he close to Botan in that manner, ever. The fire demon probably held as much confusion as Botan, and he didn’t even know about the baby yet.

The fox looked over to the clock. He could get to the distortion that would allow him passage into Mukuro’s territory soon if he left now. He wasn’t exactly welcome in the lord’s territory, but Mukuro knew that he and Hiei shared a friendship. There were other times where Kurama would come with news of Yukina or an invitation to a social gathering. Hiei always appeared indifferent in front of his superior and her other men. This news, though, couldn’t wait, even if he was in the middle of training or speaking with the demon lord.

Kurama could only hope Hiei would take it well enough not to level Mukuro’s fortress.

Hiei was furious. It had been two months, and he still couldn’t shake off his disgust at having lain with a mindless spirit world drone. The first week was much like his current mood. At that time, he had been at war with himself over what he remembered. She didn’t initiate a damn thing. He was the one to touch her, spurred on by the sound of her soft mewls. He shook his head. No, he just needed a lay. That was what he told himself after he returned.

Since then, he had to come to terms with the fact that that wasn’t it. He was haunted by dreams of that night and his own hazy memories. He actually enjoyed her, and that was something that made the fire demon feel sick. He didn’t need a woman’s company, especially not that woman. He refused to come to terms with the fact that his body seemed to want her every time he thought of her. Despite his physical reaction, he didn’t want her. He refused to have anything to do with that blasted witch who haunted him.

The fire demon threw himself into intensive training ever since, hoping to quell this despicable rage. Most of Mukuro’s weaker soldiers were severely wounded, and some of her strongest were injured. Hiei hadn’t been keeping count on how many or who he had tortured. He just wanted to satiate this maddening rage.

“Must you continue with your temper tantrum?”

Hiei paused in his movements, his sword still in hand before he destroyed a wooden pole. The demon sighed, then sheathed his sword before she turned to face the woman he pledged his allegiance to years before. “Mukuro,” he greeted.

The redhead’s stoic expression matched his as she crossed her arms. “Is there a reason you injured nearly all my men? You’re a general, Hiei, not a tyrant. I’m sure you realize there is no strategy in pummeling our men.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted. “Bad week.”

“Bad couple of weeks,” Mukuro scoffed. “What’s gotten into you? I can’t have you weakening our forces just because something has a hold on you. You’re better than that.”

Hiei’s mouth pressed into a firm line. “I know,” he mustered out sincerely. “I’ll be fine.”

“See that you are,” Mukuro returned. “If you need a break to go and visit your sister until you’ve worked this out—”

“Yukina has nothing to do with this,” Hiei admitted. To be honest, Mukuro was probably the one person he could confide in. He respected her strength and will. She was much like him, struggled all her life to make a name for herself and to be strong. She gave him a home where he had none before save the vast expansion of Demon World. Her fortress was his safe place, away from everyone else.

A part of him wanted to confide in the woman, but he had no rational explanation to give her, and he would not bore her with trivial, pathetic details. There was no reason to burden her with his drama. She wouldn’t tolerate it, anyway. Just then, a familiar voice cut through him like a knife.

“Greetings.”

Both Mukuro and Hiei turned to see Kurama standing in the doorway grinning like an idiot. “Lady Mukuro, it is good to see you well.”

“Kurama,” the woman greeted. “And that is ‘Lord’ to you. Who let you in?”

“No one,” the fox admitted. “Your security was unusually lax, today.”

Mukuro’s eyes narrowed as her gaze snapped to Hiei. The fire demon merely looked away and pushed down the minute feeling of shame. “I’ll leave the two of you be. I’m needed in the medical ward, anyway.”

“Hn.”

With Mukuro gone, Hiei and Kurama were left alone in the training room. Hiei walked away from the redhead and moved into a stance before fighting against the wooden pole in the center of the room. “What is it, fox?” he growled as he attacked his invisible opponent which resembled the ferry girl and all her cheerfulness.

“I come bearing news,” Kurama replied curtly. “Someone is pregnant.”

Hiei’s attack hit the wood hard and shattered the object as his mind reeled and stomached roiled aflame. His head snapped around, and angry, red eyes met emerald. “What did he do?” Hiei responded darkly. “I swear; if that oaf touched her, I will remove his entrails and—”

Kurama smirked knowingly. He knew his wording would set the fire demon off, but also earn his full attention. “I’m not certain as to what you mean.”

“Don’t play coy with me, fox,” Hiei spat. “If Kuwabara touched my sister…”

“I never said Yukina was the one who was pregnant,” Kurama remarked coolly. That seemed to take Hiei by surprise, though it did pacify him before his eyes narrowed at the fox demon once again.

“Then why are you wasting my time with such trivial nonsense?”

“Because I think you’d find this as interesting as I do,” Kurama replied cryptically. “Botan is the one who is pregnant.”

Hiei looked away to avoid revealing any reaction to the fox. “She told you,” he stated, sidestepping what Kurama just said.

“She didn’t have to,” Kurama explained. “Her human form is oozing with strong demon energy. It was not difficult to tell. The two of you disappeared at the wedding.”

Curse that darn fox and constant scrutiny. Hiei would rather believe the ferry girl blabbed against his strictest orders than the fact that he had been so transparent. Had anyone else noticed as the fox did? No, no one had the skills and observation that Kurama possessed. Most likely, only the three of them knew. He intended to keep it that way. “What happened does not concern me,” Hiei stated callously. “You’ve wasted a trip here. You can leave, now, before your precious human mother wonders about your whereabouts.”

Hiei’s reaction did not stun Kurama. He was used to Hiei’s abrasive attitude. It was a lot to take in, certainly. “I just thought you should know,” Kurama explained. “Botan wanted to tell you, but she is very confused by all of this. It is normally impossible for an envoy of Spirit World to become pregnant, but we all know Botan is a special case because of our team.”

“Whatever,” Hiei grunted. “Are you done?”

“Not yet,” Kurama spoke. “I don’t know what these next months will bring for her, but she will be residing in Human World for the course of the pregnancy.”

Hiei’s eyes twitched. That caught his attention. “Why is she not in Spirit World?”

“This is a rare and unexpected case that has never happened over the course of history,” Kurama went on. “No one, not even Koenma, knows what would happen to the child if Botan were to remain in spirit form. The baby continued to form even while she was a spirit, and if she went on like that, it is possible the child would die for lack of nutrition or worse. The safest way to ensure the child’s life is for Botan to live through the pregnancy like a normal human.”

The fire demon didn’t know what to say to that. He was still coming to terms with what happened, and this news was making his mind reel. He was in shock, and he wasn’t certain he liked it. “So, she’s keeping it, then,” he declared. “It still does not concern me.”

“Of course,” Kurama responded knowingly. “As I said, I thought you should know. Now, I must return to discuss with her where she will be staying. The whole ordeal has her a bit frightened.”

There was still no reaction on Hiei’s part when Kurama left. To be fair, the news had been unexpected and unforeseen. Hiei had been trying to move past his err in judgment. He was conflicted enough over his own desires. Now, there was a child in the mix, and that was not what Hiei wanted. Childrearing was not one of his life’s goals. It wasn’t for the ferry girl, either, as Kurama made clear multiple times. Hiei scoffed. He meant what he said. The woman and the unborn babe were not his concern. Besides, there were enough people around her that would help her. He was not needed. He did not want to be.

He had to train.

It was early in the evening when Shiori returned home from work to a near empty house. Where she expected to find her son reading in the living room, she instead found a blue-haired girl she didn’t recognize. The young woman didn’t notice the mother when she entered the room, but Shiori did notice that she was reading a book she read a long time ago, back when she was pregnant with Shuichi.

Not wanting to jump to conclusions about the girl, Shiori smiled and warmly greeted her. “Hello?”

Botan jumped at the disarming sound of her voice, but she turned and then smiled brightly at the woman. “Oh, hello, Shiori,” Botan said. The ferry girl got up from her spot and set the book down. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Kur…Shuichi has told us all so much about you.”

Ah, so the girl was one of her son’s friends. She hadn’t met all of them, though he did tell her quite a bit about them. Shiori offered the girl a smile. “And you are?” her welcoming voice rang.

The girl looked surprised before she laughed lightly. “Oh, silly me. I didn’t introduce myself, did I? My name is Botan.”

Shiori recognized the name, for Shuichi had mentioned her a few times. She was a very good friend to him, and her son expressed that he was protective of the girl and even saw her as a little sister. The way he described the woman was that she had a friendly disposition and could be naïve and absentminded at times. That interpretation was definitely accurate. “Nice to meet you, Botan. Do you happen to know where Shuichi went?”

Botan frowned and then shook her head and placed a finger on her chin. “I remember being tired, and then he let me sleep in his room and told me he had an errand to run, but I assumed he’d be back by now. It’s dark outside. Although, I think he did say if you came home to tell you he went out and would be back.”

Shiori nodded. That sounded like her son. He would be home in due time, though, so she decided to take the time to get to know the friend of his whom she now formally met. She gestured to the book Botan was reading and smiled. “I’m surprised you found that old book. Are you?”

Botan realized what Shiori was asking and blushed, but she smiled and nodded. “Yes. It wasn’t exactly expected or planned, and it’s all so very new to me that I didn’t know what to do. So, I came here. Shuichi always knows what to do.”

The mother smiled fondly. It was always nice to see her son with friends when he used to be such an introverted child, and all of them always spoke positively of him. It seemed that this girl put a lot of faith and trust in her son. Botan was so kind and jovial that Shiori could understand why her son cared about her. Speaking of, the door opened, and the man in question rounded the corner. He looked between the two women before he grinned and greeted them. “Mother, you’re home. How was your day?”

“It was a good day,” his mother replied. “I just got home and found your friend, Botan, here.”

“I apologize to you both,” Kurama stated. “I hadn’t meant to be gone for so long.”

“That’s all right,” Botan chimed. “Your mother just asked about the baby. She caught me reading the book.”

Kurama’s grin never faded as he nodded. It was good that Botan was getting used to this new idea. His mother was easy to talk to about these matters. Though, unfortunately, they needed to discuss what would happen in the future. Looking to his mother, Kurama asked, “Could we have a minute?”

Shiori smiled at him with understanding. “Of course, Shuichi. I need to get started on dinner, anyway. Botan, is there anything food wise that has been making you queasy?”

Wide, amethyst eyes landed on concerned emerald ones. “Uh…not that I know of?”

Kurama placed his hand on Botan’s shoulder in attempts to comfort her. “Don’t worry. If you get sick, we’ll help you and figure out an alternative to give you.”

“But, will all food make me sick?” Botan questioned after Shiori entered the kitchen.

He flashed her an empathetic smile. “Not all of it. It will be quite a bit of trial and error. Certain things that never caused you to feel ill, might.”

Botan pouted. She leaned her elbow on the table to hold up her head. “Just great,” she muttered. “I wish the book could just tell me which foods to avoid.”

“It’s different for every woman,” Kurama explained, “though I have heard to avoid spicy foods, and ginger may help to reduce the nausea.”

“Oh, all right,” Botan sighed. “This is all so confusing. I don’t know how I’m going to remember all of this.”

“It will be all right,” Kurama calmly assured her. “We will all help you through it. You don’t have to remember it all right now.”

Botan had no idea how Kurama was always able to stay so calm and serene, although that serenity made her feel calm. Her frantic worries left her for the moment as she smiled amiably at the fox demon. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“Of course,” Kurama soothed. “Would you like me to speak with Koenma about you going to a doctor? I’m sure he’ll be willing to synthesize documents and an identity for you.”

“Are we sure that will be okay?” Botan questioned.

“It has been done for many demons who have integrated themselves into our society,” Kurama told her, “so I am certain there is a contingency plan.”

“I really hope so,” Botan murmured. “So how do I go about making a doctor’s appointment?”

“Let us worry about that,” Kurama offered. “You’re already going through enough. Besides, I know a good obstetrician.”

That caught Botan’s attention. “You do? How?”

Kurama just answered with a wise smile and shook his head. Botan pouted when she realized her friend wasn’t going to spill the beans, probably worried she’d spill them quite easily. She could let it go for now. Besides, she was really thankful that Kurama was willing to help her. Then, she realized there was something else they needed to discuss. “Do you think Genkai would be okay with me staying there?” she questioned.

“I’m sure she would be fine with it,” Kurama stated, “though wouldn’t you want to stay closer to the city? It would make things easier.”

“Where am I going to stay?” Botan pointed out. “Your home is full, and I’m not ready to tell everyone else yet. You know the girls are going to want to know how it happened, and both Yusuke and Kuwabara would want to know who it happened with so they can hunt him down. It’s bad enough you already figured it out.”

“I understand,” Kurama replied. “Alright. Tonight, please stay here. It is a bit of a trip, and the trains are almost done running for the night. Tomorrow, I will go with you in the morning to Genkai’s to ensure you get there safely.”

“Well…okay,” Botan agreed. “Though I could make the trip on my oar, after all.”

“In your human form with your current condition?” Kurama tested, and Botan’s head fell in defeat. He smiled at the fallen ferry girl, knowing that these next few months were not only going to get quite hectic, but that Botan’s frustration would probably grow exponentially. He only hoped that when the baby was born, both parents would find that the chaotic experience was worth it.

At least, that’s usually what he heard people say after they had a child.

Unbelievable.

So…the fox wasn’t lying, Hiei thought bitterly to himself.

After Kurama had left Mukuro’s fortress, Hiei trained longer and harder, but also more aggressively. Once he ran out of wooden poles, since Mukuro forbade the use of any other soldier, Hiei was left alone to his own thoughts. He didn’t know whether to believe his comrade. Kurama could be deceitful when he wanted to be with no tell whatsoever. It wouldn’t be a stretch for the fire demon to believe the other demon was lying to him after he found out what had happened from the ferry girl.

Using the Jagan, Hiei looked in on Botan and Kurama both and heard their discussion. It turned out that all Kurama said was true. The ferry girl was pregnant, in Human World, and she had not told anyone what happened between the two of them. She was even going to put herself out just to avoid their friends finding out, and he could tell from her fleeting thoughts that it was more because Hiei asked her not to rather than shame. In fact, he sensed no shame from the woman over what they had done.

Hiei’s brows furrowed in confusion as the Jagan closed. The notion was foreign to him. For the past two months, he felt nothing but abhorrence towards their actions. It was his hatred towards her and his desire that had driven the intensity of his training. Unfortunately, he was beginning to agree with Mukuro. He needed to work out something, though Hiei was uncertain as to what it was. Maybe taking this break to go and visit his sister wasn’t such a bad idea, though that meant he would most likely run into the ferry girl, and he didn’t know if that would be a good thing.

The fire demon scoffed at his own indecision. He was not going to run away from this. He had more honor than that. The woman and child were not his concern; he would face her and tell her so. Maybe that was what he needed—closure. He would go to Genkai’s compound to check in on his sister and tell the ferry girl that that night was just that—a poor, drunken lapse in judgment.

He wanted no part of this.

Chapter Text

Sun peaked through the window signifying the start of a new day. Usually, Botan was up bright and early, ready to begin her day. Today, she was nestled in a cozy bed, and she did not want to get out of it. It didn’t surprise her. She was very tired lately. She’d been awake late at night quite frequently, getting sick in the middle of the night to early morning. Still, Botan was feeling great all things considered.

Today would be her first doctor’s appointment, and if she checked her calendar, it was the nine-week mark. At first, her doctor wanted to fit her in earlier, but Botan had read that book. Week nine was very exciting according to her new guide. Her baby would no longer be considered an embryo and would be developing even more. What made her so enthusiastic was that fact that she would even be able to hear the heart beating.

Botan knew her baby was alive but hearing the heartbeat would make this experience seem more real to her. It was definitely the best part of this experience, to be carrying a life inside of her. There had to be something to the whole journey that made it worth going through again for humans. To be honest, her tightening clothes, constant running to the bathroom, and the extreme nausea and fatigue made her question at times.

She was very thankful that Kurama put her in touch with his lady friend. The curious ferry girl still wondered where he had even met an obstetrician, but she knew better than to question her sneaky friend. She’d be left with more questions than answers and end up revealing too much information about herself while she was at it. How the fox demon did that, she had no idea.

Yukina and Genkai were wonderful albeit a bit confused. Genkai was more so confused over the capabilities of Botan’s human body being able to bear a child. Yukina had just never been around pregnant women so much; she confided in Botan that she hadn’t been around others of her race during their hundredth year. Either she had been too young or searching for her brother before she left the ice world completely. It occurred to Botan in that moment that Yukina would be her baby’s aunt. Part of her wanted to tell the ice maiden but, as Pavlov suggested, anytime she was about to reveal the truth, memories of Hiei’s death threats would prevent her from letting the words leave her mouth.

Hiei…she had not forgotten about him. Each day, she thought about the fire demon whose child she was carrying. Botan thought about contacting him a few times, yet she didn’t know how. The easiest would be to go to Demon World, but Kurama warned her against making the trip. Although relations were better between the three worlds, there would always be some demons who wouldn’t hesitate to attack someone weaker and more vulnerable. She would be a target the second she entered the plane. Demons would sense the powerful aura exude from her. Botan didn’t feel any aura, but she would be cautious regardless. Kurama wouldn’t steer her wrong.

That brought her back to her original train of thought. She needed to get up and head out for the day. Botan tossed the blanket off of her, slowly got out of the bed, and went to get changed into some of the clothes her friends collected for her over the years. She reached for a square neck t-shirt and a pair of black slacks. Of course, as she changed her top, she found that her chest was bursting out of the shirt and frowned. It didn’t help that the pants were tight either. This was happening way too much now. She could not go out looking like this. What was she going to do?

“Oh, Botan,” Yukina greeted in surprise as she entered the room. The teal-haired maiden smiled at the ferry girl. “I figured you would still be asleep.”

“I have an appointment today,” Botan sighed.

Yukina took note of the desolate tone, and her brows furrowed in concern. “I thought you were excited about going to your first appointment,” she pondered. “Is everything all right?”

Botan shook her head. “I am excited, but I just can’t seem to fit into any of my clothes. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

The ice maiden offered her friend a comforting smile. “Is that all? We could go shopping sometime. I was planning on going into the city this weekend. Until then, do you have any stretch clothes, like sweatpants or baggy t-shirts?”

Botan did have those, and she was thankful Yukina pointed it out. In her silly distress, Botan didn’t even consider that she could wear her lounging around clothes. A bright smile graced her features. “Why, thank you, Yukina. I do have some of those lying around.”

Yukina smiled at her friend, happy to have consoled her in some way. The ice maiden took notice that the ferry girl was even more emotional lately, and rightly so. There were times where Yukina woke up to Botan getting sick, and the lack of sleep probably wasn’t doing the woman any favors. That combined with being pregnant, not to mention with a demon child from what Yukina sensed, would leave anyone feeling overwhelmed.

“So,” Botan spoke up, earning Yukina’s attention, “what brings you to my room?”

Instantly, Yukina remembered just why she came to see Botan. “Oh, well, I made you something for breakfast. I know this has been tough on your stomach, but Genkai said we need to make sure you have access to healthy foods. I made you a couple of pancakes, an egg, and a fruit salad.”

Botan’s stomach rumbled in response causing the blue-haired girl to laugh nervously. “Well, that all sounds quite lovely. Thank you, Yukina. You’re a doll.”

The phrase made Yukina blink as she pondered the words. “I…I’m a toy?” she questioned hesitantly.

“Oh, no, it’s just an expression,” Botan explained, having forgotten that Yukina was not one for expressions. “It just means that that was very sweet of you. The baby and I both appreciate it.”

“Oh good,” Yukina chimed, her joy returned. She closed her eyes and smiled brightly. “I’m so glad. I’ll be in the kitchen. Take your time getting dressed.”

Yukina left the ferry girl to change into her new outfit. Botan definitely didn’t feel like she looked presentable, but she realized it hardly mattered considering where she was going. The book said it was best for her to stay comfortable and relaxed, as much as possible. At least she and Yukina would go shopping soon. It was only a matter of time before even her comfy clothes did not fit her. She needed to be prepared.

It took a few days for Hiei to get his affairs in order in Demon World before he made the trip to Human World. Mukuro was willing to give Hiei the time off in hopes that it would give him the chance to cool down. He knew it would for he was determined to face the source of his ire. What luck that he sensed her alone, leaving the temple. Good. He didn’t need an audience.

The fire demon landed in a tree right above the temple and could see the ferry girl practically running out the door, if it could even be called running. It looked like she was actually hopping. Hiei sneered in disgust. The woman was an idiot if she thought she could skip down the stairs of Genkai’s compound. It would be her own fault if she fell and injured herself and the child. If that happened, they wouldn’t even need to have a conversation.

As he got closer to her, something caught his attention. The strong demon energy emanating from her body seemed to call out to him and struck his core. Without thinking, he swiftly moved to catch the idiotic ferry girl as she stumbled and set her gently on the stairs. His mind came to; the fire demon blinked over the random instinct that overrode his desires.

Botan dusted herself off before she looked over to thank her savior. She opened her mouth to speak, it fell open in shock. “H-Hiei!” she exclaimed as she nearly fell back but caught herself on a tree. “W-what are you doing here?”

Her words brought Hiei back to focus. His eyes cleared and returned to his impassive gaze. “Hn,” he scoffed and turned away slightly with crossed his arms. “You nearly killed yourself. Fool.”

Botan looked down the stairs and frowned knowing that he was right. She had just been so excited, plus it took her longer to eat than she expected. It was the first morning she actually had an appetite, so she went a bit overboard. By the time she realized the time, she noticed she had fifteen minutes to get to the train station. Not being able to use her oar, she thought maybe running would be a good idea. It never occurred to her to be extra careful on the stairs. She laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her head. Hiei was kind of right. She had acted foolish.

“Sorry about that,” she replied enthusiastically. “I’m still getting used to all of this.” Her eyes then widened comically. “Oh, Hiei! There’s something I need to tell you!”

Hiei cringed at the volume of her voice, but his eyes still remained hardened as he glowered at her. “Don’t bother,” he hissed. “I already know.”

Botan was surprised by this, but she looked towards Hiei’s hairline and smiled. “Right,” she said with a nod. “You probably saw with the Jagan. So…what are your thoughts?”

The fire demon decided to let her think it was solely through the Jagan that he found out about the pregnancy. He did look in on her to confirm the fox’s story, so there was truth to her statement. And now she wanted to know his thoughts. He was intent on giving them to her.

“Actually, maybe we should talk about this later,” Botan then said. “I am in a rush. It’s my first appointment. Oh, would you…maybe want to come?” Hiei said nothing, his gaze still on hers. It was fairly unnerving, so she just laughed nervously and tried to bid him adieu.

“Wait,” Hiei demanded. He moved to grab her wrist and prevent her from leaving.

Badump!

Hiei froze in an instant, eyes wide as his Jagan registered the flutter in his mind. It made no sense to him…where this sensation came from. He looked to the woman’s abdomen in confusion. Had that feeling arisen from the child?

As Hiei’s gaze was fixated on Botan’s stomach, hers was focus on the fire demon. He became tense the second his hand grasped her wrist, his grip tightening the longer he stared. She attempted to pull away, but his hold was strong and she couldn’t get away. “Um…I really need to go…” she attempted again, and red irises shifted to her purple hues.

Not even a second later, Hiei disappeared from sight and Botan sighed in relief. She had honestly been a bit frightened that Hiei wouldn’t let go. He seemed so angry for a moment, and that just heightened her anxiety. Well, at least he let her go, though now she was really running late for her appointment. She was about to make a run for it again when she remembered what brought Hiei to her in that moment. She flailed her arms to catch her balance before she stumbled again. With a sigh, Botan resolved that it would be better to be late for her doctor’s appointment than risk the life of her child. She really needed to be careful.

Meanwhile, Hiei was up in the tree from which he spotted the woman, eyes filled with uncertainty as he gazed into space. He had no idea what had just happened. That blip he sensed took him by surprise, as did his reaction. Though he gripped Botan’s wrist, the moment he realized what he was doing he released her as if she burned him. In a way, she did. Something about the interaction left him feeling hot and overwhelmed.

He had been fully intent on telling the woman he wanted nothing to do with her or the child. He still felt that way. Still, something shifted inside of him, and he did not understand it. That sensation…he shouldn’t have been able to feel that. It seemed the Jagan zeroed in on his child without his knowledge or desire, and the fleeting moment shocked him, amazed him. He wasn’t certain that he liked it.

Botan finally made it to her appointment and apologized profusely for her lateness. The staff was very understanding, especially when she said she almost tripped. They told her that next time she could just call and tell them how late she’d be so that they can rearrange the schedule, but not to overtax herself. Pregnancy was stressful enough, and sometimes being on time wasn’t always easy.

Eventually, Botan was led to a room, though it was awkward that she needed to undress. She was assured by the nurse who told her most people were nervous visiting the OBGYN, but that she would be well taken care of, and the nice woman even brought her a little to drink. Botan was thankful Kurama sent her here.

Curiosity overtook Botan as she looked around the room. She decided to read all the posters she could while she waited. There was even a pamphlet on how to discuss pregnancy with your partner. Botan instantly grabbed one of the booklets and started reading, hoping to find a way to broach the subject with Hiei. He hadn’t really been given time to answer. She really did want this to be easy on him, too.

“Hello, um, Botan,” the doctor greeted as she entered the room. “Ah, so you’re Shuichi’s friend. He told me a great deal about you.”

Botan blinked before she smiled at the woman. She was pretty, tall, with auburn hair and brown eyes. Yup, Botan approved of this one, whoever she was to Kurama. “I’m sorry, and you are?” she questioned with a friendly voice.

The doctor laughed. “I’m Dr. Sasaki, but you can call me, Hanako.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Hanako,” Botan chimed. “So, uh, how do you know Shuichi?”

Hanako smiled at the thought. “We’ve run into each other more than a couple times heading to work. We both frequent the same coffee shop, and we actually met over a similar drink order. We both thought it was ours.”

Such a simple way to meet for someone as complex as Kurama. Botan smiled knowingly. There was something about the woman her friend omitted. She was sure of it. “So, how are you feeling?” Hanako asked her.

“For the most part, okay,” Botan started. “I’ve been incredibly tired lately, and my clothes are getting too tight, though my appetite returned today. That’s actually part of the reason I was running late. And I have to go to the bathroom way too much…”

“I understand,” the doctor replied. “That is all very normal at this stage in the game. What’s happening in your body is that the placenta is forming which alone takes quite a bit of energy, and your baby is starting to develop muscle. Your metabolism and hormone levels are all increasing which decreases your blood sugar and blood pressure, so you’re feeling fatigue. You just need to try to stay active for yours and the baby’s health. I won’t tell you not to rest, because you should absolutely listen to your body, but every so often, take a walk or walk from one room to another a few times. Just don’t overdo it. It is very nice out, so you can always go sit in the park for a bit. Eat healthy and frequently, and make sure you eat foods rich in protein and complex carbohydrates. Avoid caffeine whenever you can. For sleeping, go to bed earlier, and maybe stay in a little later. Shuichi tells me that you’re already taking a break from work, so you can afford to sleep a little later.”

Botan blushed a little bit. “Um…what did he tell you about me?” She was starting to get nervous.

Hanako grinned at the girl. “Well, for one, he sees you like a sister, so he expects I take good care of you.” That made Botan perk up a bit. “He did confide in me that it wasn’t planned and you’re looking to know as much about what’s going on in your body as possible so that you know what steps you need to take. I think that’s very wise to want to be informed about all the changes. That, and that a mutual friend you work for has given you a considerable amount of time off so that you can focus on the baby. I’m glad you have a good support system.”

The ferry girl sighed in relief, thankful that Kurama left everything out about Hiei and how it happened. Sure, this woman didn’t know Hiei, but it was possible she might one day. Hanako’s voice cut into her train of thought once again. “So, I take it the father doesn’t know yet?”

Botan’s eyes widened before she looked to the pamphlet in her hand. “Ah,” she stammered, surprised. “Uh, well, yes, he does, but we haven’t had a chance to talk about it. I thought maybe this…”

“It is a helpful little guide,” the doctor offered. “Even my sister’s husband had some trouble processing when she became pregnant, and they had actually been talking about it, so I’m sure it has thrown you and your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Botan repeated, her voice squeaked. “Wha…? How…? I…”

Hanako smirked and said, “Well, you put single on your medical form, so I just assumed, especially since you said he knew.”

“I’m not… I mean he’s not… I mean we’re not…” Botan tried to say before she sighed and then thought about her response. “I mean, we aren’t together. He’s just a friend of mine. We were both drinking a lot, and one thing led to another…and why am I telling you all of this?”

The woman couldn’t help but chuckle. “That seems to be a popular consensus. Even Shuichi found himself telling me a little too much about himself when we met, about his family and friends.” Botan’s eyes widened in amazement. “Anyway, I don’t know all of your friends well, but I’m certain that little booklet will give you some idea on what to say. I’m sure everything will work out. Now, here’s the big question. Are you ready to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time?”

Botan felt uncertainty as they discussed her speaking with Hiei, but the second Hanako asked her that question she felt an indescribable joy. “I would love that very much.”

Hanako smiled warmly. “Well, then, let’s get to it.”

Botan could not even express what she felt when she heard her baby’s heartbeat. It was clear proof to her that there was someone living inside of her and that her human body was protecting this new, innocent creature. She was absolutely in love when she got to see the baby. It was small, and she could barely make it out, but when she did, it was magical. There was someone living inside of her. It made her giggle with excitement as she headed home.

Hanako was wonderful, and to be honest Botan was still floored by how much the woman got her to admit. It was even more astonishing that Kurama told the doctor so much about himself and those he cared about, including her. Anyone who could make the great Youko Kurama talk was impressive. Hanako certainly was a sly, yet friendly, fox herself.

On the train ride back, Botan couldn’t help but go back to her earlier thoughts. It would have been nice if she could just focus on the picture of her child and the sound of the strong heartbeat, but she couldn’t. A thought occurred to her after she left, something she had quite forgotten.

The child had strong, demon energy, but it did not have a demon heartbeat.

It was definitely strange, though it was a relief that she wouldn’t have to explain that to her doctor. Still, she didn’t know what it meant for her baby. She needed to know, needed to understand what was happening. Maybe once she talked to Hiei about how he felt about everything, she could ask him to check on their child. As Kurama told Hanako, Botan was looking to learn as much as possible. She needed to be prepared for anything.

The trek up to Genkai’s temple was a bit more difficult. Botan realized that it was probably due to her exhaustion. Once again, the idea of flying up entered her mind, but she quickly squashed it. She could not argue with Kurama’s logic. She did make it, although it took her quite a while. That honestly concerned her about the future. Botan shook her head and went back to the task at hand: finding Hiei. She could worry about other stuff a little later.

Botan raised her head to look around above her and took in a deep, cleansing breath. Her doctor was right. It was nice out. Perhaps she should have stayed in the city longer and gone to the park, although the stairs probably would have taken the last of her energy. She felt happy, but out of nowhere she felt apprehension. Blinking, she decided to walk closer towards the forest.

She didn’t know it, but Hiei had been watching her since she returned, his gaze hardened. He knew she was looking for him, but he decided to remain hidden. He didn’t know what to say to her yet. Although he had a little over a few hours to think, he no longer knew what he felt regarding their situation. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted to talk to him about the child.

Hiei needed to think, but he had little time when the ferry girl seemed to move deeper into the forest, lost in thought. His eyes rolled. Did she have a death wish? There were still plenty of demons residing in Genkai’s forest, and once they sensed the child’s energy, they would go after the woman. Hiei sighed before he disappeared from his tree. He leapt into action and landed right in front of Botan. He tried to ignore the annoying twist of his insides when she smiled at him.

“Oh, hello Hiei,” she greeted, her voice far melancholier than earlier, though her countenance seemed generally indifferent. She looked past him, her eyes widened in shock. “Oh, I didn’t realize I was going in there.” Her eyes met Hiei’s, and her sheepish smile made something stir inside of him. “I was lost in thought, although I was meaning to find you. We need to talk.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted. “That’s two times today, ferry girl, that I had to save you from your own stupidity.” Botan frowned at that. “This child will be lucky to make it to its birth unscathed.”

“Ouch,” Botan bit out. “Tell me how you really feel.” As she said those words, she perked up. “Oh, wait! I really did need to ask you something like that. Um, let me see…”

Hiei watched impassively as Botan took out some piece of cardboard out of her pocket. She used her finger to find something and then started talking. “Um, okay, so…I wanted to get your take on all of this and what I should tell people about me being pregnant, and, ah, here we go…when you’re single… I don’t want you feel pressured into anything. We can take this as it comes and—”

“Are you seriously reading what to say to me on some human paper?” Hiei question, a brow raised in complete disbelief.

Botan jolted back before she looked to the fire demon. “Why not? I don’t suspect that there are help guides in Demon World about this stuff…”

“Of course not,” Hiei growled. “We aren’t that pathetic that we need someone’s advice to tell us what to say.”

“Oh,” Botan replied, blushing. “Um…so, what do you think?”

“You can tell people whatever you want,” Hiei curtly stated, “but you will leave me out of it.”

“Don’t you think our friends would be happy for us?” That got no response. “Besides, it won’t take much for them to figure it out. I mean, Kurama already did. He said he could sense the demon energy. If not the girls, Yusuke and Kuwabara will have questions. What do I say?”

“I could care less,” the fire demon scoffed. “About any of this.”

Botan felt a pang strike her heart when he made his admittance. She had to have misunderstood. “Any of this?”

Hiei’s sharp, venomous eyes met hers. “I don’t care about what you say to them as long as I am kept out of it. I’m not planning to be involved. The only thing I’ll promise is my protection for the time being. The demon energy is strong, and it will attract other demons. Not all of them will be friendly. I will do no more than that.”

“I see,” Botan responded, her voice tight with emotion. She flinched at how her voice cracked. It made no sense. She was used to Hiei’s abrasive nature, and he always had a bit of bite when it came to her in the past. Still, this felt awful. Her chest tightened, and she felt like she could hardly breathe, like she was drowning.

Hiei looked at her strangely, and Botan really didn’t want to feel like she was on display any more than she was. She didn’t understand why his words had upset her so much. Even Hanako said it might be an adjustment for him, and he did offer to stay long enough to offer his protection. What was wrong with her? “E-excuse me…”

Faster than Hiei had ever seen her move, Botan ran into the temple, though he could distinctly hear the sound of a choked sob. His brows furrowed. She had been fine moments ago, and now she was upset over what he said. What did she expect of him, especially after she stated that she wouldn’t force him into anything? The most he was comfortable offering was his protection. Other than that, she was on her own.

Botan made it into the temple, rushed to her room and not paying close attention to who was sitting in the kitchen as she slammed her bedroom door. Yukina glanced towards the room in concern. “Um,” a voice said, “was that Botan?”

“Did the blue hair tip you off, Keiko?” Shizuru asked as she breathed out a puff of smoke. “What’s she doing here, and why was her energy off?”

Yukina looked to her two companions with slight apprehension. She didn’t know what Botan would want her to say in response, although Botan dropped something on her way to her room which Keiko picked up without missing a beat. The brunette was flabbergasted at what she found. “I-is this…a sonogram?”

Shizuru’s eyes widened only a fraction before she looked at her cigarette and immediately put it out before she joined Keiko in looking at the picture. Brown eyes shifted towards the ferry girl’s bedroom door. “Come on, princess. Let’s go see what has Blue so upset.”

Chapter Text

Hiei just didn’t understand.

It had to have been about fifteen minutes since Hiei spoke with the ferry girl. He had been at war with himself, his instincts trying to beat down his desires. Hiei really had wanted to tell the blue-haired woman off in a terrible way when he showed up that morning. At first, he didn’t know how to broach the subject, and then she tried to scurry away. He grabbed her wrist only to stop her and say what he came to say. That moment was when everything changed, and Hiei hated it. Even now, when she wanted to talk to him about the baby, he planned to ignore his instincts—hurriedly say his peace and potentially upset her—and then flee back to Demon World never to be bothered again. Something occurred, though, that he never expected.

The second he looked into her eyes, memories of that night returned.

Memories of her eyes, her warmth, her moans of pleasure, and her soft skin assailed him so strongly, and Hiei cursed himself for letting her have that kind of effect on him. What in the three worlds was wrong with him? He was not some sort of slave to his base desires ever in his life. Why now, and with her of all people?

To make things worse, she gave him an out. She told him that she wouldn’t force him into anything that made him feel uncomfortable. Had the fire demon just said none of it made him feel comfortable, he could have washed his hands clean of her and never look back.

His instincts won.

They wouldn’t let him leave, no matter how much he desired to be far away from the woman and her child. The child kept reaching out to him, the Jagan humoring the small flutter against Hiei’s will. It was like this unborn thing was willing him to stay. Though Hiei didn’t outwardly show it, he was angry at the unborn child for forcing his instincts to override his will. Unfortunately, despite his strong desire to leave, he was compelled to stay, and, if he were to stay, there was only one thing he could do. The only action he felt comfortable performing.

Hiei had an honor code. Those who knew him could easily agree to that. If he were forced to stay, he would honor the woman with his protection. She was such a clumsy thing, as proven earlier when she left the temple and again when she nearly entered the forest. That was just one matter, and he had already needed to intervene both times. Aside from her foolishness, she would also possibly be targeted by other demons. Hiei knew he was capable of taking out any demon that would go near her. It was his doing, anyway, that she became pregnant. He would fulfil his promise to her, and he would leave once the child was born.

That was pushing his comfort level, at best. He figured the ferry girl would accept his offer and then go about her business. He gave her what she asked, his opinion and his thoughts. Despite the fact that he had given her way more than he thought he would, she started crying and then ran away from him. That was what he couldn’t fathom. Why was she so upset that she would leave in the middle of the conversation? He was certain that they were far from done. Sure, he had been callous, but he had not been any more so to her than he was in the past. In all fairness, he believed he said worse to her the night they—

No, no, he was not going there again. He gritted his teeth as he leaned back against the tree he sat in. He decided to flitter off to a tree outside the woman’s room, which, not only did it give him a great view of her, gave him a great earful as well. Her sobs had not subsided, and it was starting to agitate the fire demon. What the hell did he say that was so wrong?!

A knock on her door alerted Hiei, and he saw the two human women enter the room and scowled. Great, he thought bitterly. That was just what he needed to deal with, now.

“Hey, blue,” the oaf’s sister greeted before she sat down beside the crying woman. Botan didn’t even respond, still wailing and shaking. “Hey, now, none of that. Come on. Sit up.”

“No,” Botan’s voice spoke, muffled by her pillow. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Botan, listen,” Keiko ordered gently, “we’re here for you. Are you upset about this?”

Botan sat up and looked at the sonogram picture in Keiko’s hand. The ferry girl started to calm as she saw the picture, sniffled slightly while she shakily reached to take the picture. She smiled, though she looked absolutely pathetic with tears streams down her face. “No,” she admitted. “No, I’m happy about this.”

“Then why are you so upset?” Keiko asked.

Hiei nearly reeled when he heard the woman’s answer, and he almost fell out of the tree for good measure. “I…I don’t know,” she muttered weakly before she started sobbing again. “Wh…what’s wrong with me?” she wept and screamed into her pillow. “I’m so stupid. Why can’t I stop crying?”

“Comes with the territory, kiddo,” Shizuru offered. The woman rubbed Botan’s back comfortingly. “So…pregnant, huh?”

Botan sniffled again, a lull in her crying, and Hiei mentally thanked whatever damn deity was out there, not Koenma, for getting her to stop again. “Y-yeah,” Botan stammered. She sounded a bit nervous. Why she was nervous, Hiei did not know, nor did he care.

“And the sonogram says you’re nine weeks along,” Keiko pointed out before something clicked in her head. “Botan…did you…did you hook up with someone at our wedding?”

The ferry girl’s eyes widened in panic, though Hiei was far from worried. He knew she knew better than to admit to it being him. Just because Kurama could tell didn’t mean the humans could, although Shizuru was a wild card. “If she did,” the elder brunette stated, “then it was probably a demon friend of the guys. She’s practically oozing demonic energy.”

Damn. He couldn’t catch a break.

“Who was it?” Keiko nearly shrieked.

“I…I…” Botan struggled to find an answer before she just flat out lied. “I don’t remember. I was sort of drunk?”

Shizuru shook her head. “Oh boy,” she murmured. “I knew that champagne was a bad idea. Baby bro did complain that it tasted kind of strong.”

“Yes, champagne,” Botan agreed. “Nothing else. Ah…ah ha ha ha…”

Both women eyed her strangely before Keiko took back the sonogram photo and placed it on the nightstand. “So...you don’t know what set you off crying?”

To be honest, Botan didn’t know. Hiei said he wanted nothing to do with the baby, but she expected that, yet hearing the words struck her heart so hard. Next thing she knew, she couldn’t breathe and was in hysterics, and she left a stunned fire demon behind. Botan really was grateful that he offered to stay around for the duration of her pregnancy, and she hoped he’d change him mind about their child once he processed all of it. And yet, she left him, mid-conversation. She didn’t even show him the picture or tell him about the strange anomaly of the human heartbeat paired with demon energy. She completely lost control.

“I just got upset out of nowhere,” she told a half truth.

“That’s part of being pregnant,” Shizuru told her.

“It is?” Botan gasped before she realized she remembered reading something about that. Her hormones were all over the place, so she would have those…mood flare changes. Yes, that’s right. Now, logically, it made sense to her. “H-how do I make it stop?”

Keiko frowned, moved to sit next to Botan, and hugged her sympathetically. “To be honest, you don’t,” she reluctantly explained, feeling horrible when Botan’s defeated eyes landed on her. “You just have to ride out any of the emotions you feel. I haven’t been pregnant myself, but it’s like how we get moody during our cycles. You’ll go between joy, sadness, and anger at random points.”

“But…won’t I offend people? I don’t want to do that?”

“Tch,” Shizuru scoffed. “Look, blue, you’re pregnant. That means there’re only two people you need to worry about right now. You and the baby. That’s it. You don’t have to cater to anyone else’s feelings.”

Keiko laughed nervously at Shizuru’s pep talk before she said, “Yeah, she’s honestly right, however curt and callous that may have sounded. Point is, you can’t control it. Besides, you were just crying out of nowhere. Who was there to offend?”

Hiei was still watching and saw Shizuru’s eyes narrow as she looked out the window. The demon made no movement, but he wondered if the human somehow knew he was there. Botan must have noticed too, because she added, “Y-yes, you’re right. How silly of me. There wasn’t anyone to offend.”

“Yeah, sure.” Shizuru glared out the window, her eyes cutting to his tree before she focused her attention back on the ferry girl. “So, you’ll be getting this a lot, but other than crying for no reason how are you feeling?”

That started a chat that Hiei no longer wished to be a part of, so he closed his eyes and tried to tune them out. It was near impossible to do, but he would manage. After the humans left, he could finish the conversation he was having with the woman before her outburst. To be honest, the humans had been good for something. Now, he understood that the woman was just overemotional, and her reaction to his words, however unusual, had an explanation.

Human pregnancies were certainly strange.

Botan was once again feeling determined, the sonogram picture in her hands. Shizuru and Keiko left after a while, and the girls promised the ferry girl that they would go out over the weekend on Shizuru’s and Keiko’s day off. Yukina then entered and said she’d join them in a shopping excursion. Basically, Botan confided in them the fact that she needed all new clothes.

It would be good to get out of that house. That was what Hanako said. Even if she felt tired, she needed to stay active. She told the girls everything her doctor said, and so they agreed that Saturday, they would meet up in the early afternoon, just so that Botan could have some extra time to rest. They would meet in the city and then hit the mall and have some lunch. It had been a while since the ferry girl could engage in these leisurely activities with her friends. She was looking forward to it.

Back to the matter at hand, Botan needed to finish talking to Hiei. She felt terrible for getting so upset. He had been callous, yes, but he agreed to stick around her and the baby to protect them. That was more than she expected, and yet she broke down into tears. Well, to be fair, she had been lost in thought when she got there feeling unusually melancholy. Her friends were right. It had to be these pregnancy hormones.

Hiei was pretty hard to spot, but she found him perched in the tree outside her room. She smiled faintly. He was already taking his protector duties seriously. It amazed her, his ability to camouflage. She could hardly see him wrapped in his black cloak in the darkness of night.

Botan didn’t realize she was staring until she saw a flash and then felt a presence behind her. She nearly stumbled forward, but she turned to face the impassive gaze of the fire demon. The ferry girl blinked in confusion. Despite knowing his speed, how had he gotten behind her so fast?

“Do you make it a habit of staring at others?” Hiei scoffed.

He noticed the ferry girl smile. “No, sorry,” she murmured quietly. “I just…I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier.”

Hiei did not react, only stared at her before he grunted and turned away. “It doesn’t matter,” he stated.

Eyes widened in response, and Hiei could read all of the woman’s emotions from her eyes. She was disbelieving, and there was still a hint of guilt there. She was about to deny his words before he spoke up to prevent her from continuing the discussion. “What else did you want to say?”

“Oh!” Botan said, getting happy once again and she reached into her pocket. “I have something for you. I got two copies just in case you wanted one.” He watched her take out that same slip of paper the detective’s woman had been holding. That ‘sono gram’ thing. “Look, right here,” she said as she pointed at the fuzzy image. “That’s our baby.”

Hiei’s brow furrowed, and his anger returned. If she was pointing at their child, then that little, insignificant thing was the crazy force compelling him to stay? It was ridiculous that something so small and misshapen had such a hold on him. He hated it.

At Hiei’s silence, Botan tried a different approach. “Anyway, other than being able to see him or her, the doctor also let me listen to the heartbeat. It was unbelievable, Hiei…so surreal. But it made me wonder something, and I’m not sure if I should be worried or not.”

He knew what she was about to say. The second she mentioned the heartbeat, something struck him as well. Demons did not have a normal heartbeat. That was common knowledge among the three worlds. It made no sense to Hiei, not when the unborn child, in its earliest stages, had so much demon energy contained inside. Still, he offered no thoughts as she continued to attempt to converse with him. “I’m thrilled I don’t need to explain to Kurama’s lady friend—she’s my doctor by the way—why the child has an irregular heartbeat, but…doesn’t that mean the baby is human. Will the demon energy hurt it?”

Hiei didn’t have the answer for her. Humans having relations with demons was rare, the last known instant being Raizen and his human lover who, through the ages, eventually produced the former spirit detective. Now the half-demon was married to a human, and they had only been married a couple of months and not in the process of having a child.

It was laughable that Hiei was instead, with a woman he detested no less.

“Maybe we should talk to Kurama?” she suggested, trying to gage his reaction. She really wished that Hiei would offer his opinion. To be honest, she needed some reassurance. She was scared for her child, and the only person she could talk to about it wasn’t saying anything. “Maybe he can tell us what’s going on?”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted. “Do what you want. He already knows, anyway, the damned observant fox.”

Botan’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “How do you know that?” she asked, startled.

Hiei disappeared from view leaving a confused and sullen Botan behind. Her head dropped in defeat, and her heart felt hollow and empty. She had hoped for some advice, not Hiei’s silence. Of course, she knew she shouldn’t have expected anything more. Before the wedding, he hardly ever spoke with her. She always tried to seek their quiet friend out at their gatherings. He started to tolerate her chatty behavior, although he hardly ever responded. When he did, he was as stoic as he was tonight. Nothing needed to change between them, but she hoped, on some level, it might. They were going to be going through all of this together. A part of her thought that that would have bound them on some level, even if it had finally reached acquaintanceship on his part.

Oh no…she was starting to get upset again. Maybe it would just be best if she tried to go to sleep.

A heavenly smell assailed her nostrils as Botan began to stir the following morning. She felt so heavy and could hardly lift her body, but she at least tried to open her eyes when she heard someone moving around in the room. Through bleary eyes, she could make out some teal. “Yu-Yukina?” she murmured and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Is…” She yawned, cutting herself off. “Is that you?”

The ice maiden turned, smiled at her friend, and nodded. “Yeah. I know you were saying how tired you were and what the doctor said, so I thought maybe it would be a good idea to bring your breakfast here.”

That made Botan sit up. “Oh, Yukina, you really didn’t have to go through the trouble…”

“It’s no trouble,” Yukina offered, grinning brightly. “By the way, my brother went out to the forest to train for a bit. I saw him leave this morning.”

“Oh, yes, your broth…what?” Botan shrieked nervously before terror filled her eyes. “Wh-wh-wha…?”

Yukina’s smile never left, but there was a sly glint to her eyes. “That’s for keeping whatever happened between you two a secret.”

“But…but I,” Botan whispered. “What? How? When? Oh my goodness…he’s going to kill me!”

At that, Yukina looked perplexed. “I don’t think that’s the case,” the maiden said, her eyes glanced down at her abdomen. She then looked up to see Botan with wide, distant eyes, and then she grew concerned. “Botan, what’s wrong?”

The ferry girl threw herself back on her pillows. “You aren’t supposed to know. This is just getting worse.”

The ice maiden blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t,” Botan muttered in her hands that covered her face. “Now even you know. I’m awful at keeping secrets, and he’s going to kill me.”

“Botan, you aren’t making any sense…”

Botan sat up, her eyes full of fear and distrust. “How did you find out? I was so careful…”

“I knew Hiei was my brother for a long time,” Yukina explained, brows furrowed. “It wasn’t by chance that I came to seek you all out at the Dark Tournament. I knew. Hiei was so familiar to me, and eventually I learned why. I’ve been dropping hints around him all these years, and I have accepted that he needs to tell me in his own time.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Botan sighed. “How did you know about me? He…he didn’t want me to tell anyone. Kurama deduced it, but you…how did you know? When did you figure it out?”

“The second I felt the child’s energy,” Yukina admitted softly, empathizing with the girl. “It feels like my brother.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything then?”

Yukina didn’t really know how to answer that. She had, at first, believed Botan needed to process all of the changes, and then she hoped the ferry girl would open up, at least to her. The ice maiden had known who in the group knew about Hiei’s relationship with her, and Botan was always at the top of the list. She was the one who, when Kazuma warned Yukina away from Hiei, talked her brother up, but then grew nervous and quiet each time she almost got close to revealing his identity.

Yukina would have continued to play clueless had the conversation between Botan and the girls last night not happened. They had been in private, though Yukina knew that Hiei was probably around. The ice maiden always knew when he was around lurking, sometimes calling him out of his hiding places, and other times just leaving food. He was there for her, she knew, whenever he could be, which kept her complacent. She still remembered the day he lied to her and told her that her brother was dead. Yukina hoped that by leaving their mother’s tear gem with him paired with her words would clue him in. Maybe it did, but he still remained silent and protected her from a distance. He’d come around with time.

When Botan showed up pregnant, she oozed demon energy, and Yukina could feel the slight traces of her brother’s energy. Maybe it was because they were twins that she just knew. Botan was right. Kurama just deduced based on observation. For Yukina, her knowledge was acquired through a deeper means.

Even though Hiei was around, she still expected Botan, while keeping Hiei’s identity secret, to tell the truth to their friends. She claimed that she didn’t remember who she had been with, meaning that Botan had no one to lean on, even their friends. She wasn’t going to tell them what upset her, and she pretended that it hadn’t been prompted by anything. Botan couldn’t go through this pregnancy without a confidant who knew. Kurama was different. He had a human life he needed to deal with and couldn’t always be there for Botan. Yukina could be, and so she decided to broach the subject. Besides, it would be nice to confide in Botan, too. She had to hide from everyone, even if they knew, that she had known about Hiei all along. It was getting exhausting.

“He can’t know you know.”

That made Yukina grin. Well, Hiei didn’t know anything yet, and he was away for a while. About an hour, give or take. He probably assumed that Botan would still be asleep by this point, which is why Yukina made sure to get there a bit earlier so that they could have this talk. “That’s okay. He isn’t around right now. I’ll know when he’s back.”

Botan looked amazed. “How?”

Yukina smirked, and she looked so much like her brother in that moment. “Twin thing.”

“Twins?” Botan repeated before growing pensive.

“What?” Yukina questioned, growing a little bit serious.

The ferry girl was confused as soon as the word left the maiden’s mouth. Botan always thought… “He told Yusuke that you had the same father yet different mothers. How are you twins?”

Yukina’s crimson eyes widened before she looked away. “It’s…it’s a long story,” she explained. “And not mine to tell.” She then regarded the ferry girl with a tilt of her head and a sad smile. “Perhaps he’ll tell you one day.”

A raised eyebrow was the response, but Botan just nodded and accepted. There definitely had to be more to the story if Hiei flat out lied to Yusuke. Maybe he hoped that it would be another reason for them all to remain quiet. She doubted that Yukina’s words would ring true. Hiei would never tell her anything, and he probably would kill her if she even tried to talk about it. It was safer just to remain as things were. Yukina, though, was definitely pushing the boundaries on that barrier.

“What did he say last night that upset you so much before you came inside?”

Of course Yukina figured it out, because Botan was just that darn transparent. The ferry girl sighed and shook her head. This was already proving to be a long, emotionally exhausting day.

Hiei returned from training only to find the ferry girl passed out in her room with an empty food tray next to her. He scoffed. It seemed she had woken up only to go back to bed. According to what he heard her tell the girls last night, she was supposed to rest, not sleep the day away. It wasn’t healthy for her or the child, but then he scoffed at his own thoughts. It was her body and her life, and he most certainly didn’t care about the child. He offered her protection from her own idiocy twice. He would not do that a third time. Now, he would just offer assistance when it came to other demons coming after them. She had to learn not to be so flighty.

“Hiei,” his sister’s voice cut through him as he looked down to see her standing at the base of the tree. She was smiling warmly up at his crouched form with a tray of food. That alone made him feel uncomfortable.

“Yukina,” he murmured back a greeting.

The girl beamed up at him, his eyes stuck on her as he gave her a sideward glance. “It’s so good to see you again. I was wondering when you’d come to visit, again.”

Hiei relaxed. It seemed like Yukina was just as clueless as any time he showed up to keep an eye on her. He hoped he could remain hidden this time, but his presence here would be constant for a while. Yukina always had this way of just finding him. This, regrettably, couldn’t be any different.

Yukina looked in through the window to see Botan asleep again. Before Hiei returned from training, Yukina learned of the whole conversation that happened between the two the night prior. She could understand why Botan had been so upset, though the ferry girl seemed to not have as many hard feelings as Yukina did. Botan explained what her doctor said about time and processing. That was a good strategy, normally, but Hiei and processing were hardly compatible. If their hidden relationship was any indication, Hiei could be even more stubborn about his choice regarding the child.

So, Yukina had a thought on how to shake things up.

“You’ve been watching Botan,” she pointed out as she watched her friend with him. “Can you believe it’s possible for a ferry girl to become pregnant?”

Hiei eyed his sister warily before he turned his attention back to Botan. He hoped in being silent, Yukina would just leave the food and walk away as she normally did, but he had been caught in a pretty compromising voyeurism position. “No.”

Yukina shifted her eyes to the tense fire demon. “It is pretty amazing,” she marveled. She could tell she was making him very uncomfortable and smiled sympathetically. “I wonder who the father is.” Hiei jolted, his eyes fully on her this time looking fearful and nervous. “I bet he’s strong with that intense demon energy that’s pouring off of her.”

“How do you…?”

Yukina grinned again before she chuckled and shook her head. “Does everyone forget that I’m a demon as well just because I grew up in a different part of the world? I did travel Demon World myself to get here, you know.”

Hiei didn’t respond for he was guilty of doing the very same. It appeared that he had underestimated his sister, but he still had no intention of satisfying her curiosity.

“So, what do you think about all of this?”

That was the last question he expected to have voiced again, and his stomach dropped as his mind actually flashed a thought. He didn’t know what to think. The answer, however, should have been that he didn’t care.

And yet it wasn’t.

Chapter Text

“I’m surprised to see you here.”

Hiei had been lounging in the tree keeping track of the ferry girl. She got up for a few hours, spoke with his sister in the kitchen about inane topics—like some shopping excursion the detective’s woman and fool’s sister would be taking them on—ate something, and then crawled back into bed where she slept for a couple more hours and was still resting.

The fire demon glanced down at his annoyingly observant redheaded friend who was grinning at him knowingly. The fox carried a book with him, and Hiei rolled his eyes. “Clearly you aren’t considering you’re here pestering me.”

Kurama simply chuckled lightly. “Actually, your sister called me and told me that Botan was having a rough time with some of the pregnancy symptoms and asked if I could stop by. I came with some teas I think would help give her more energy without the caffeine.”

“Why would I care about that?” Hiei scoffed, not appreciating the fox’s long-winded explanation. What struck him as odd, though, was how much Yukina seemed to care about the ferry girl and her child, even though she didn’t know who the father was. She was going out of her way to make the ferry girl more comfortable while keeping her fed, and Botan was hardly doing much to earn that treatment. Of course, how could she when she was so drained, but Hiei himself didn’t see that as an excuse. Even when he was exhausted, he could still take on a powerful enemy and protect his…comrades.

Botan was, of course, thankful, but she was being incredibly lazy, in Hiei’s opinion. According to her doctor, that wasn’t good for the baby either. Even though Hiei didn’t care, Botan at least should, considering she was going through with all of this. Kurama’s voice cut through his inner musings.

“That is a good question,” he stated, his voice teasing in a sense. “A better one would be ‘why are you here?’ Last we spoke, you had no intentions of getting involved, and yet here you are keeping vigil over the sleeping ferry girl carrying your child.”

“Will you shut up?” Hiei hissed. He did not want his sister to overhear. Sure, they were nowhere near her, but he did not know how far her hearing stretched. It wasn’t something he ever tried to figure out. “And I’m not ‘involved’. I have only decided to offer my protection. This woman will get herself killed if I don’t, and I highly doubt any of you would want to experience that.” Kurama was really amused, especially when Hiei’s eyes widened with what he said. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s touching that you care so much for our feelings, Hiei,” the fox remarked before his jocular nature shifted to seriousness. “But all joking aside, Hiei, you being around could be both very good and very bad for the both of you. You have no idea what Botan is experiencing right now. It’s different for those of us who are accustomed to pain. Botan is feeling terrible pain and her energy stores are draining to give life to that child the two of you conceived. She was never meant to feel this way, but it was something she accepted when Koenma granted her a human body.”

“That is not my problem,” Hiei once again scoffed. “You may all be feeding into this, but I will not. If she plans to go through with this process, she needs to tough it out and get over it.”

A sigh escaped the redhead’s lips. “I am not surprised you feel this way,” Kurama stated. “I, too, was like you once. I cared nothing for my human mother, and I looked on her as weak and inferior, but she taught me the greatest life lessons of all, and I truly care for what she experiences. In time, Botan may end up being the one to do that for you.”

Hiei’s incredulous, shocked gaze landed on the other demon. “Hn,” he grunted. The fire demon looked away and shook his head. “You are delusional, fox. Nothing like that will happen. I’d stake my life on that.”

Kurama just chuckled. “No need to wager,” his friend rejected. “Seriously, though, Hiei, just be careful. I’m sure you’ve already learned that Botan is very volatile right now, and none of that is her fault or doing. Her body is doing strange things to her, and she is going to need time, patience, and consideration, from all of us. Given the fact that she is at least trying to keep you out of it, as per your request, surely you could attempt to give her that much.”

“I’m not a patient man.”

“I suppose you aren’t,” the fox agreed. “But, if you do stick around, you’re going to at least need to be aware of what is happening with her. This could help with that.”

The book the fox demon carried was tossed up to Hiei, and the fire demon caught it with ease before he sneered at the cover. “‘A Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy’?” he spat angrily before he glared at Kurama. “What the hell is this?”

“Hanako suggested I give this to whoever the father was,” he explained, unperturbed by Hiei’s outburst. “I think it will be very beneficial for you. After all, you will be going through this ordeal just as much as Botan will, even if you do not yet see it. For now, just think of it as a guide to help you better protect her. It will just give some pointers on how to handle her. It would do you no good to, let’s say, upset Botan leading to her running away and turning herself into a target.”

“Idiot,” Hiei scoffed. “If she does that, then she deserves to fall. I will treat her no differently from before, and I don’t need you giving me grief over it.”

Kurama’s eyes narrowed at the fire demon. “Remember that, Hiei,” he hissed angrily earning the fire demon’s attention. “You know that I see Botan as you do Yukina. I’m holding you personally responsible if something happens to her because of your callousness. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should really get this tea to her.”

As the fox demon walked away, Hiei regretted to admit that he felt a chill when Kurama blatantly threatened him. Hiei scoffed and leaned back against the tree, irritated over this whole ordeal. It didn’t matter how much he and the fox had grown to trust each other, Hiei would always have that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he didn’t want the redhead for an enemy. Kurama had proven time and time again that he hardly needed to give into his demonic nature to get the desired result, but that was neither here nor there.

Hiei still had no idea why it mattered so much how he talked to Botan. He and the ferry girl had interacted enough times, especially during their friends’ gatherings, that she had enough of an understanding as to who he was. When she returned to him the night before to apologize for her own outburst, he told her it didn’t matter, and it didn’t. Where her behavior confused him, Hiei was completely unaffected by her emotions, as he had always been. She expressed her concerns about the pregnancy, concerns that Hiei could not settle for he had no idea himself. When she suggested speaking to Kurama about the child and its heartbeat, Hiei told her to do what she wanted. Truthfully, Kurama probably would have a better answer. He had seen more in his lifetime, and he had infiltrated a pregnant human. Kurama already knew he was the father, so Hiei had no qualms of her speaking with their longtime confidant.

Afterwards, he took to his perch on the tree and kept watch for any intruders. He caught a glimpse of the ferry girl before she shut her lights and went to bed. She looked upset once again, and he was sure it was because he didn’t engage in false pleasantries. Eventually, she’d get over it. Even she thought she was ridiculous.

Hiei wasn’t going to feed into this pointless parade of emotions. What concern was it of his that the ferry girl feel good about herself and the situation? No, he had only promised her physical wellbeing. She’d be fine otherwise. She had his sister, a fox, and a whole team of emotional humans to nurture her sensitivity. He was not going to change his tactics.

He looked to the book that Kurama handed him, glared at it, and dropped it down at the base of the tree. The fact that the fox even considered Hiei would read that worthless drivel was laughable. The fire demon already made it clear to the ferry girl where he stood. Protection was the one and only thing he would offer to her and this child. Once the child was born, he would return to his life business as usual. If it weren’t for his instincts, he would have already been gone.

“Botan, it’s time to wake up.”

A sigh escaped the ferry girl as she curled into herself. She felt herself waking up, but she could hardly open her eyes. A smile graced her face when she turned as saw Kurama sitting beside her with a teacup in hand. It smelled heavenly.

“Oh, good morning, Kurama. How are you?” she sleepily greeted.

“Actually, Botan, it is the early evening,” Kurama explained. “I brought something for you that may give your energy.”

“Is it really that late?” Botan asked. She looked outside to see the already setting sun. She looked frantic. “I slept almost the whole day!”

“I know,” Kurama replied, his tone slightly worried. “That is why Yukina called me and asked me what we could do. You aren’t having a normal pregnancy, Botan. The child inside of you is sucking more energy than normal, and you aren’t used to long bouts of even normal exhaustion. It is quite a drastic change.”

The ferry girl nodded and finally sat up. She felt so sluggish. “Thank you for bringing me some tea, though I was certain I’m not supposed to have any.”

Kurama smiled comfortingly as he handed her the cup. “I brought a few homemade blends,” he explained. “These are some of my personal herbs, and they will both give you energy and be safe for the baby. You can try different ones and see which work better for you.”

Botan took the cup and grinned and then sampled the tea. She nearly moaned over the taste, and Kurama could tell that she was happy. “This is amazing. You should sell this stuff.”

“Considering some of the plants are of Demon World, I don’t think that would be wise,” Kurama replied. “But thank you. I am glad you like it.”

Botan beamed at the redhead, her energy already returned to her. “So,” she stated, her voice both inquisitive and teasing, “why didn’t you tell me that the obstetrician you knew was a woman you met over coffee?”

The redhead’s gaze became slightly impish as he chuckled. “For the same reason you just asked me that question in such a voice.”

Botan pulled a kitty face and teased him innocently. “Yes, well, I’m curious. Just when were you going to tell us about her? She’s a very lovely person, and she’s as observant and sly as you are.”

“You see my dilemma,” Kurama stated, still smiling. “It is still a new development, and to be perfectly honest I’m not sure what to make of her. Still, talking with her has been interesting, and where she’s gotten me to talk about myself more than I’d like, I hardly know a thing about her save her profession and that she challenges me.”

Botan held her finger up in the air. “And that you both like the same coffee!” she chimed excitedly.

Kurama blinked at her, surprised she knew that. “You…you discussed me?”

Botan couldn’t help but grin. Out of all the years she had known him, Kurama had never been the one to be easily stumped or flustered. He had a way of causing such reactions in everyone else, even Hiei at times with his jocularity. It was kind of nice to see him just slightly more vulnerable than normal. Clearly, he liked this girl he met accidentally in the simplest way. “Yuh huh,” she chimed happily. “By the way, I approve.”

Kurama chuckled, the red leaving his cheeks. “Of course.” He gestured to the tea. “Are you feeling better?”

“Actually, yes,” Botan nearly exclaimed. “I feel like I could run a marathon, now.”

“I would not recommend that,” Kurama said, smiling. “However, I think a walk around the grounds is in order. Shall we?”

“Sure!”

Hiei glanced down when he heard noise and laughter. It seemed that Kurama’s concoction worked, and the woman now seemed more energetic and vibrant. Hiei scoffed. She was truly pathetic if she couldn’t handle this. It was her own choice. She should have thought of the consequences before accepting this as her fate. Couldn’t she have just continued with her duties in Spirit World? According to Kurama, no one knew what would happen to the kid. He was surprised the woman cared so much for something neither of them asked for.

Still, the ferry girl seemed so happy, as she chattered Kurama’s ear off about the things she had been trying to tell Hiei the night prior. Kurama, unlike Hiei, listened patiently and expressed his excitement for her. If that was what she had been looking for last night, she was even crazier than he was for listening to his instincts. He didn’t even want to be there.

Botan finally got to the part that concerned her, the intense demon energy yet a very human heartbeat. Kurama’s expression faltered slightly as he thought about the implication. “The union between a human and a demon is very rare,” he explained to the ferry girl, the same as Hiei. “Truthfully, the only other occurrence known is Raizen and his human lover, ultimately resulting in Yusuke ages later, and he was born human and barely had any spirit energy before he died and was brought back to life.”

“So, what does that mean for my child?” Botan asked warily. Hiei looked down. She looked horrified, worried, and Hiei could tell that she did not want a demon child. Of course, he wasn’t inside her head, so he would have never seen that Botan was afraid for her baby, not what the baby would be.

“Your child should be fine,” Kurama assured her, though he was uncertain himself. “I will look into these matters. If its heartbeat was strong, the demon energy is not harming it. It’s possible that the baby will have powers similar to its father.”

Hiei’s eyes widened at that. He hadn’t even thought about that aspect of it. He remembered his own birth. His sister was a child of ice and him a child of fire. The energy exuding from him had been incredibly strong up until the Jagan transplant. His mother was weakened by the birth, but she survived. The ferry girl was in a human body. There would be no way she’d survive.

Not that he cared.

Hiei scoffed at the strange concern that washed over him before he reminded himself of that. Once again, it was the ferry girl’s choice to keep the child. She would have to suffer the consequences. He would do his best to protect her, as promised, but that was it. Anything else, she would need to handle on her own.

Botan wrapped her arm around her abdomen in some form of strange hug. “Then he or she will be very strong,” she chimed happily. Hiei glared down at the woman and wondered if she had noticed him there and said it for his benefit, but she wasn’t even looking at him. She looked genuine and sincerity oozed off of her. He sneered.

“Botan, Kurama,” he heard Yukina’s voice call, “dinner is ready.”

“Thank you, Yukina,” Botan called back, grinning like an idiot. She looked at Kurama. “What was in that tea? My appetite has come back, too.”

Kurama chuckled. “That is a good thing. We should take advantage of that, now. You don’t know when the nausea will return.”

“Right,” Botan said, sobering up. “Let’s go.”

Hiei watched the two of them enter the temple, once again leaving him to his own thoughts. He didn’t know what to make of this whole situation, and every day there was something new that irritated him to no end. Those moments where he was reminded of his lapse in judgement or the ferry girl’s weakness and stupidity were enough to drive him to insanity.

There was nothing he could do about it now, he accepted. His lapse in judgement led to the impregnation of a ferry girl who had no business rearing a child, especially not one that could have his abilities and strength. She was putting herself in danger, and she knew it. Kurama knew it. The fox blatantly told her, yet the idiot couldn’t put two and two together. Yes, the child was going to be strong. The child would kill her. Did she not realize this? Did she really need someone to spell it out for her?

He wasn’t going to involve himself with that problem. Even if he told her, he didn’t think she’d change her mind about having the child. Maybe it was because she was a spirit that she wasn’t afraid. Still, if the child destroyed her human body, it would be left parentless for he had no intentions of stepping into the role, and he doubted Spirit World would give the woman another human skin.

But again, it didn’t matter. He didn’t care.

Or at least, that’s what he was trying to tell himself.

Later in the evening, Botan still had quite a bit of energy, even after Yukina fell asleep. She decided to make some snacks and bring them outside. She hoped she could convince Hiei to join her. Truthfully, Botan had no idea what Hiei was eating all this time. Even he needed nourishment.

She tried to choose some sweet things and fruit. At past events, Hiei would always go for either protein or sweets. She decided to put cheese, nuts, and crackers on their plates. That should be good, she told herself.

Botan made her way outside, but she struggled to open the door while she held the two small dishes. Once outside, though, she went to the tree where Hiei usually frequented whenever he visited Genkai’s temple. Of course, she had no idea that he would again be in the tree close to her room to watch over her, so she did not find him right away.

She wouldn’t have found him in any tree, actually. Instead, after he hunted for his evening meal, he grew bored and decided to chance a glance at the atrocious reading material the fox left him. He was currently sitting near a window, chewing on a cooked leg of a hunted animal, while he used the light to read. At first, it was a little interesting. He was reading from the beginning, just to get an overview. He cursed his curious mind and his boredom for this.

He was irritated with the familiarity the book attempted to have with any paternal reader. It claimed to know that he was excited and freaked out when he was neither. It suggested sharing his joy and pride with his partner, to which he had none regarding their situation. Despite what the book declared, they did not ‘do this together’. They would never do anything together.

What interested him was not the suggestions to ‘go out together now’ while it was just the two of them. They never went out before. It wasn’t the ‘get a new job’ or managing the current job. He cared nothing about working on a budget or anything these humans might do. No, what interested him was that the book seemed to match the fox’s claims. The book suggested to stay sensitive to the hormonal shifts, to look after the woman when she was to be tired or sick. Apparently, this wasn’t a pathetic ferry girl thing, but a pregnancy thing. Even foods could set her off and make her sick, and that was something that wouldn’t change for a while.

Hiei’s brows furrowed. Why would the woman put herself through abuse just to give birth to this child? Surely, it would be easier on her body and spirit not to deal with it, especially now that he came to the realization that the child could unknowingly harm her.

The book also suggested taking on chores for the pregnant woman probably wouldn’t be able to do the majority of them. It seemed like his earlier bitterness towards his sister practically babying the woman was misplaced. Any physically challenging chores should be done by someone else or the woman could hurt herself or the child.

Hiei started to get annoyed the more he read, when this book suggested how to tell friends and family the ‘good news’. It also suggested ways to handle an overly sentimental woman. Hiei scoffed. Once again, he told himself he wouldn’t cater to these emotions. He was not going to be nostalgic and actually talk with the woman about their past. There was no sense to reiterate their first meeting, and definitely not their first kiss which ultimately landed them in this situation. What was with these bizarre humans and actually wanting to talk about these things?

The fire demon grunted when he read over a line that said to ‘talk about what makes you a strong couple’. He and the woman were not a couple, and they were not strong. He knew he was strong, although he was starting to doubt the strength of his will. If his will was stronger than his instincts, he wouldn’t be in this mess at all. He would have never taken her, and he would be back in Demon World right now, not bored and reading this pathetic guide.

He would not participate in back rubs to help the woman. He refused to touch her ever again. And if he wanted to touch her, he would regardless of if she ‘wasn’t feeling up to it’. This book was recommending giving up his own principles and ideals for some woman he hardly cared for. It was explaining he may have doubts. He had none. He knew he wouldn’t be a good father. Hiei didn’t even want to be a father. He would be a nonexistent father, and he would be content. He knew the woman would love the baby more than he would. He could care less if it were even born.

All he learned was that the woman could have weird tastes for a while, but he wasn’t responsible for that. He didn’t know what she craved or had aversions to, and he wasn’t going to start indulging her now. Did all this book have to preach was how to become a sentimental fool? Why would he ask her how she was feeling when he didn’t care? He wouldn’t ask if he could help because his protection was just enough help for her. The rest was her own responsibility, including her body’s complications, to which the list was growing and growing.

It was the start of the third month from when they had been intimate, so Hiei figured he’d catch up on that and then be done. So far, this book hadn’t really given him information he cared to know. He probably wouldn’t pick it up again for the garbage he read sated his curiosity and irritated him. The rest of the book had to be equally infuriating.

Hiei paled when he turned the page.

“Sex and the expecting man.”

What…the…hell?

It was basically a statement about how, where the woman would appear more desirable between the pregnancy glow, swelling breasts, and developing curves, it probably wasn’t the best time to engage sexual activities. Hiei’s mind went blank as he slammed the book shut, but not before the book discussed the sensitivity of the tender mounds. He was more nauseated than the book suggested she probably was. “Gah, what garbage!”

“Hiei?”

The fire demon sat up alert before he narrowed his eyes. What was the woman doing outside? He did not wish to see her, especially not after that! He couldn’t believe other humans wrote or read that filth especially that detailed. No…no, he didn’t want to think about it. His mind needed to be clear, and he had to stop thinking about how soft Botan really was. Curse him for having these accursed memories of her.

He almost fled up to the tree, but he knew she’d notice. It made no sense to run, anyway. Hiei didn’t run away. He faced everything head on, and this was no different. He showed that by coming to Human World in the first place. He wouldn’t run and hide.

“There you are,” Botan said fondly. Hiei turned, and she was already in his face. He fell back in shock but caught himself and glared at the woman. She merely giggled. “What are you doing over here?”

Hiei covertly scooped up the book and hid it in his cloak. “Nothing.”

Botan looked off to the side and noticed the remains of his…meal. She tried to ignore it because she could feel her stomach curl. Putting on a smile, she handed Hiei the small plate of food. He glanced at the offering and then suspiciously at her. The intensity of his gaze made her feel slightly nervous, but then she remembered that it was just Hiei and there was no reason to be nervous. “I was feeling a little hungry, and I thought you might be too, so I brought us a snack.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted. He snatched the plate from her hand and went for a piece of fruit. Botan smiled, took a seat next to him, and munched on her own food. Hiei glared over at the ferry girl but noticed her pensive gaze. He wondered what could possibly be going through the flighty ferry girl’s head that caused her to make such a face.

The two ate in heavy silence, and Botan debated on whether or not to be her usually chatty self. Hiei seemed very out of sorts, and part of her felt responsible. It had been her suggestion, after all, for them to engage in the drinking competition. She still couldn’t remember what happened or who won, just that she woke up the next day, and she and Hiei sired a child together. It was unplanned, and she couldn’t even fathom how Hiei felt, a reason she was thankful he decided to stay for a while. Maybe his adjustment wouldn’t take long. She wanted him to be happy about it, too.

Of course, she couldn’t say any of this to the fire demon. He wasn’t one to talk about what he was feeling. Where she felt slightly hurt and insulted the night before, she wasn’t all that shocked that that was where his mind was at this point in time. The least she could do was subtly try to engage him. It’s what she always attempted to do at other functions. For some reason, she always sought out the fire demon, if only to make him feel like less of an outsider in the group. He did always slink out of the room when he thought no one was looking.

But her mind was wandering now.

She needed to focus. She had to have at least one decent conversation with Hiei about this, but where to start? “Do you…?” Botan started to ask before she bit her lip and shook her head. “Um, never mind.”

Hiei huffed and paused in his eating. “What?” he muttered out.

Botan perked up slightly. “Uh, well, I was just thinking, do you remember back when we were away at the Dark Tournament?”

Crimson eyes narrowed. Of course he remembered the Dark Tournament. That was a hellish time when they were practically forced to fight for their lives. He remembered being called a traitor which was laughable. He hated the humans just as much as any other demon. It was due to his honor code, his desire to fight Yusuke again, plus the stupid constraints of community service hanging over his head that pushed him into the tournament. It’s not like he minded. That tournament pushed him to new heights. Still, it made no sense that the woman was bringing this up out of nowhere. Was this the reminiscing bullshit the book mentioned? If so, he had no trouble obliging, just probably not in the way she was.

“A series of life or death blood battles,” he snickered with a sadistic grin. “Hard to forget those.”

Botan grimaced slightly and shook her head. “Yeah, but I wasn’t talking about that.” She regained her composure and beamed at him which made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. “I just mean, you and I never got along back then, and you threatened me a lot, but we’ve come such a long way since then, and now we’re going to have a baby. Just, I wouldn’t have guessed this would happen back then, you know?”

Hiei scoffed and set the dish aside, his appetite lost. Botan noticed and frowned at the action. “Hiei,” she sighed, “I know this is a lot, but it’s important to me that you’re okay, too. I really want to know your thoughts on this.”

“I have no thoughts,” he replied curtly, though that was a lie, “and I am fine. There is nothing we need to discuss.”

Botan’s cheeks puffed out in irritation. “Now, you’re just being difficult,” she remarked, earning Hiei’s gaze as she sighed, “but I understand. This is all very confusing for me, too, and I don’t know what to think. I’m really excited, but honestly I’m really scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Then why go through with it at all?” Hiei growled, glaring at her. “If you didn’t want this, you could have just remained a spirit. It wouldn’t have mattered.”

“It would have mattered,” Botan argued. “You have to think of this from my point of view. I’m a ferry girl, Hiei. It’s possible the child wouldn’t have survived. If we hadn’t figured it out…it was almost a very real concern…that I might have had to ferry my own child’s soul to the afterlife.”

Botan’s voice faded off as she voiced her one, very rational fear. It sounded so raw with solemn emotion, and Hiei honestly never considered that to be a thought on the ferry girl’s mind. “When Koenma explained that it was a risk, I had to remain human, even if I’m putting my body through so much. It’s better that than taking my own child to Spirit World.”

“So you’d rather face unbelievable pain, sickness, indigestion, constipation, and severe exhaustion plus these stupid human hormones so that this child you never asked for won’t die,” he stated blandly.

Botan blushed at the list Hiei rattled off, too embarrassed to ask how Hiei knew all that stuff. Did that mean she was the only one clueless about pregnancy? Was it because she wasn’t of the living world? “Y-yes…” Botan stammered, completely red-faced and flustered. “I-it’s my responsibility, after all. I mean…I challenged you, and that led us to this.” She tilted her head and smiled sheepishly at the stoic fire demon. “I can’t punish an innocent child for what I did.”

“Do you regret it?” Hiei asked, beside himself. He already knew the answer from having read her mind, but since she sounded so negative just then, maybe she had finally accepted reality as he did.

“Honestly, no,” Botan stated, and Hiei nearly groaned in annoyance. “I mean, I regret not having any memories. I’ve never not remembered something I’ve done, and I feel like it’s an insult to the both of us.”

“It’s better you don’t remember,” Hiei hastily said. Botan blinked at him as he regained his composure. “It was a mistake.”

“Oh,” Botan murmured. “I see. Did…did I do something wrong?”

Nope! That was beyond Hiei’s capacity, to discuss that event with the ferry girl. He had to cover somehow, and he did so without sparing her feelings. “Everything about this is wrong.” He turned to face her, his eyes stern and steady. “You, of all people, should agree with that. Your child was never meant to exist.”

Botan didn’t understand why Hiei was singling her out or saying such a hateful thing about their baby, but she didn’t like it, and she was starting to feel upset with him again. She tried to rein in her hurt and anger. Unfortunately, she couldn’t this time. “You’re just heartless!” she snapped without thinking before she tossed her plate aside and got up abruptly. Hiei glanced at the ferry girl, surprised over her outburst, but otherwise remained unaffected as she turned away from him. “It may have been an accident, or a mistake as you said, but this baby is here and it’s a miracle. Whether you like it or not, he or she will exist, which means that it was meant to exist!”

Hiei made no move to stop Botan from retreating, and honestly he was thankful for the peace he was now rewarded. If he had known that coming out with the full truth of his feelings would chase her away, he would have done it earlier. She was so intent on finding out how he felt about the child, and now she was throwing a tantrum because she was dissatisfied with the answer.

She entered her room, and he could hear her slam her door shut, probably waking up the other occupants in the temple. He was still outside her window when he started to hear a sound he wasn’t expecting. There were a couple of sniffles and small hiccups. Hiei’s eyes widened. Unbelievable, he thought to himself.

He was certain he angered the ferry girl immensely. She had such a fire moments ago. Hiei read about the mood swing things, but this was too abrupt. Soon enough, the sniffles became loud, pained sobs. Hiei’s brows furrowed. He didn’t understand.

He took out the book again regretting the decision he was about to make, but he needed to know how to make it stop or at least avoid it in the future. Call him crazy, but he still couldn’t handle the idea of a woman crying.

And, lo and behold, two of the month’s ‘to do’s’ were to lend an ear and to watch your tongue, and moments ago he did neither.

Hiei sighed. He really wasn’t equipped to deal with this nonsense.

Chapter Text

Botan still wasn’t feeling herself, even after a couple days. Her conversation with Hiei nights before still lingered in her mind. Why did he have to act that way and say those things? She knew he wasn’t happy about the situation, but to claim that their child didn’t have the right to exist pained her. This baby was hers and she loved it with all her being, even if she never intended on having a child herself. She was a ferry girl, after all, and most ferry girls never got to experience any of this. She was the one who brought life to Spirit World. She never thought that she would ever bring life into the world, and it was amazing.

Albeit very painful.

The past couple of nights she felt really sick, and she was trying not to bother anyone else with it. Still, Yukina would find her and bring her ice water. The ice maiden would stay with her while she was sick, and Botan was thankful that at least her child’s aunt would be happy that he or she existed.

Yukina had been a dear and tried to get Botan to open up. The ice maiden assumed her brother said something to affect the ferry girl like last time. Botan lied to the girl, not wanting her to give Hiei a hard time. She didn’t need Yukina to fight her battles. She just needed to be away from Hiei for a while. Maybe she should tell him to just leave. She didn’t need his negativity, not right now.

Not when she was feeling so cruddy and having nightmares.

Some nights, she dreamt that she was back in Spirit World, clueless about her baby and in spirit form. She’d wake up before anything terrible happened, but she could practically feel the life being drained from her child, and it scared her. Other nights, she’d have dreams about labor. She had seen enough shows in the human world that indicated how painful and difficult it was, especially alone, and Botan was really starting to feel all alone. Worst of them all, she had horrible nightmares about Hiei, either causing harm to their child because he did not want it or allowing another demon to attack and destroy her.

It wasn’t fair to Hiei for her to have such dreams, but his attitude towards her and the baby wasn’t necessarily kind. She knew he wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt the baby or her. He caught her when she was about to fall and prevented her from going into Genkai’s forest. He would take protecting them seriously, as he said, because Hiei was not the kind of demon to go back on his word. Botan trusted that, but she also needed time away from him.

At least today she would get that opportunity, so she would hold out on asking him to leave. Despite her exhaustion and depression, she really did need to get new clothes. Her pants were getting tighter around her waist. She couldn’t even button the jeans anymore. Also, even worse, her tops were all getting tight in her chest area, and she was most likely going to need some new bras, something she really didn’t want to shop for.

Her friends were wonderful, though. Each one of them pooled parts of their salaries together, well, mainly Kurama, Shizuru, and Keiko. Yusuke and Kuwabara still had no clue, and neither Yukina nor Botan herself had a Human World job. Even Koenma sent some funds as well. Botan didn’t even want to ask how they were acquired. She was just thankful.

The support and positivity didn’t fully get rid of the depression, and Botan became worried. She never really felt depressed, and just a few days of it was concerning her. Thankful to Kurama for giving her the book, she looked up any information she could get. If the book said it was normal, then it was normal, but if not, then something was wrong with her.

Relief washed over the ferry girl when she read that those hormonal changes and stressful situations—like a fight with her partner, among other things—could lead to feelings of depression. It warned her that what wasn’t normal would be her feeling consistently sad, hopeless, and uninterested in life especially if those feelings kept her from eating, sleeping, or taking care of herself. Her face fell…that was exactly how she was feeling lately, although Yukina had been acting like a mother hen making sure she was fed and resting. Most of the time, Botan would lie in bed the majority of the day. She really didn’t want to alert her friends to this abnormality. Maybe she would make another appointment with her doctor, just to talk to her about some things. That was probably the best idea.

She really didn’t want to go out for the day, but the book did say getting some sunlight and fresh air might ease the depression, as well as spending time with her friends. She hadn’t been getting the exercise she needed lately, either, and that would also help with the depression. Forcing herself out of bed, she went to grab one of her few outfits that fit her and got dressed. Yukina already had breakfast prepared for her when Botan reached the kitchen.

Botan sighed and mentally told herself she just needed to take this one day at a time.

Hiei watched as the ferry girl and his sister descended the stairs. Yukina was trying to engage Botan, but the ferry girl was withdrawn. At first Hiei was fine with her being reclusive. It was her choice, after all, but then Yukina started to worry. Botan had been getting sick more than she was eating, and she also wasn’t sleeping. Hiei realized that his words caused this, but he wasn’t going to take it back. It was how he truly felt.

Still, he didn’t need to deal with seeing the woman’s dreams. The emotions from them were so intense that even the Jagan picked up on them. It irritated him that, though he required little sleep, her restlessness prevented him from getting any sleep. Then, to see what she was dreaming, that he’d hurt their child or let someone else do the dirty work, bothered him more than he cared to admit. Despite his dismissal of the child, he planned to do it justice and protect it up until birth. He would never hurt his own blood even if he didn’t want it.

Botan seemed to know that, but she was falling further and further into depression. She had been reading her book, and his own manual probably said something similar, though in his case it was encouraging him to go to her and try to comfort. The fire demon did not do comfort. He did not cater to emotions. If Botan were stronger, she’d be able to pull herself out of it.

She wasn’t.

And now, because of it, Yukina was up the majority of the night, too, trying to comfort her, but Botan would not talk to her about it. Hiei figured it was because the ferry girl was trying to protect the image Yukina had of him, and he did not understand why she would even care. If he were her, he’d completely trash him to the ice maiden if only to make things more difficult for him, but she wouldn’t. She was choosing to suffer alone despite being her usually outgoing self. Now, Hiei was even starting to feel something sour, and he did not understand or like it in the least.

He flashed through the trees, followed the two to the train station, and snuck onboard. This would be the perfect opportunity for any of his enemies or unruly demons to go after the woman, if any were nearby. Since he couldn’t be certain she and his sister would be safe, he would have no choice but to follow them around for the day, but neither of them needed to know it.

Yukina and Botan met up with Keiko and Shizuru at the mall. They decided to get the shopping done first and then grab lunch. After all, the exercise would be good for Botan and she’d be left feeling exhausted, so then they’d relax and refuel.

The book Botan read suggested waiting to get maternity clothes or to just get some clothes the size above hers, but she wasn’t using her own money, so she told the others she just wanted to find a maternity store. Shizuru knew just the place to go since one of her coworkers who recently had a baby had shopped there. It was going to be summer soon, so Botan needed to be prepared for the hot weather. That combined with her pregnancy hormones would burn her up, so less was key.

So, Botan tried on and bought a few lightweight, flowing dresses, one that was scarlet, one that was white, and one that tan all with low and short sleeves but of different styles and lengths. She also picked out a couple of pairs of lightweight, cropped, stretchy pants to replace her jeans and tight sweatpants along with some nice t-shirts and tank tops. She also bought some nightgowns and pajamas that had comfortable shorts. Basically, she replaced her wardrobe thanks to the help of her four friends. To her dismay, though, she had to purchase large undergarments and blushed as the cashier scanned them. The woman just offered Botan a sympathetic smile, and Botan returned the gesture. It seemed all women understood the feelings Botan cycled through, including the worthlessness at gaining so much weight, despite her logical mind telling herself that it was the baby’s weight.

The girls had been right that clothes shopping would take the whole morning. The excursion lasted until noon, and Botan was ready to eat, starving even. It was probably because she had done much more today than she had done in so long. That probably wasn’t a good thing, not when she was ready to eat a horse… She wouldn’t though. Horses were lovely animals.

“What can I get for you, today?” the waiter asked.

Botan was about to order the whole menu when Shizuru said, “We’ll take a pitcher of cucumber water for the table, a basket of bread, the baked brie appetizer, and the fruit and cheese platter to start.”

“Absolutely,” he remarked. “Be right back, ladies.”

Keiko smiled to the waiter and then looked to Shizuru. “Well, he seems nice,” she stated.

“He better be,” Shizuru chuckled. “That’s the guy I’ve been seeing.”

“Oh, Shizuru, how wonderful,” Botan chimed. “I’ve missed out on so much being away. Is there any other news I’ve missed?”

“Not really,” Shizuru replied. “You being pregnant is still the biggest news in our group.”

“I see,” the ferry girl replied. “In any case, tell us about him.”

Shizuru hummed. “There’s not much to tell, honestly,” she revealed. “It’s a new development. He’s my coworker’s brother. And speaking of work, blue, you might want to consider a haircut before the summer. Long hair won’t be that comfortable.”

“But I like my long hair,” Botan protested, taking a piece in her hand to play with. “I…I’ll just keep it up. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.”

“I have a few ribbons if you’d like,” Yukina offered, smiling. “It might be more comfortable, and they won’t pull your hair as much as the ties.”

“Thank you, Yukina,” Botan praised. She looked to Shizuru indignantly. “See? Problem solved.”

The brunette sighed. “It was just an offer. No need to get your panties in a bunch.”

“M…My what?” Botan asked, aghast.

Keiko smiled sympathetically. “It’s an expression. It just means no need to get upset about it.”

“Oh…”

“So, what are you thinking of getting?” Shizuru asked the girl. “I picked this place, not only because my boyfriend works here, but also because the food hear is probably the healthiest in this mall. So you should be able to get whatever you’d like.”

“Also, have you had any aversions at all?” Keiko continued the questioning. “We don’t want to order anything that makes you sick.”

“Um…I don’t know,” Botan admitted, looking to Yukina. “I think just seafood?”

“When I made peanut butter cookies the other day, the smell made you feel terrible,” the ice maiden reminded her.

Shizuru nodded. “So no fish, and nothing that smells like peanuts, got it.”

“You guys really don’t have to worry about me,” Botan complained. “Eat whatever you want. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, Botan…if you get sick on it once, chances are you’ll get sick on it again,” Keiko warned with a frown. “We just don’t want to be the reason you get sick. The goal is to try to avoid aversions so that you’re less likely to be sick. You’re not supposed to let yourself get sick all the time. The baby needs nutrients.”

Botan decided not to fight them on it. She knew she was supposed to avoid the things that made her feel ill, but she didn’t want her friends to limit their choices because she had to. She should have expected no less, though. Her friends were all very kind and considerate, and everyone wanted her to be okay. It warmed her heart that she was surrounded by such caring people. Shizuru didn’t even have a cigarette the entire day. It made her feel a little bit better than she had been feeling. Even if Hiei continued to be a source of negative energy, everyone else was positive.

“Well, alrighty then, if you’re sure,” Botan chimed. “Hm, well this salad looks good with the fruit and the sliced steak. I think I’ll have it cooked rare.”

Keiko blinked at Botan, surprised by the order. Botan was the one who, like her, liked her meat ‘ruined’, as Yusuke called it. “Are you sure about that?”

“Well, Botan is pregnant with a demon child,” Yukina defended. “She’ll probably be craving a lot of red meat.”

Botan nodded in agreement and smiled brightly. “Yes, that’s what the baby wants. At least there will be greens, though. Hopefully the baby won’t protest like the other day.”

Shizuru gawped at the ferry girl as her boyfriend returned. “Yeah, Ethan, just bring her a plate of rare, sliced steak and whatever fruit you guys use in the salad. Hold the greens.” The waiter just stared at the group, perplexed. “Pregnancy cravings…”

After the meal, the girls decided that maybe they’d catch a movie—a nice romantic comedy to keep up Botan’s spirits. Yukina suggested staying out longer solely because Botan seemed more energetic than she had been in days. The ice maiden suspected that Botan was attempting to hide an altercation between herself and Hiei, and it left her very despondent. Yukina desperately tried to pull Botan out of her funk, but Botan shut her out. It was probably because Botan didn’t want her to be mad at Hiei, but Yukina knew that she’d be able to at least ease Botan’s worries.

Hiei did not grow up like any of them, and he did not use words often. Most of the time he did, they were harsh because he grew up in a brutal world with an even meaner crowd. He was probably still trying to adjust to this news, and Botan may have tried to discuss it with him. Until his mind accepted the reality, he would continue to lash out at Botan, and that was not what the woman needed. Of course, she couldn’t know anything for sure unless Botan told her what he said but keeping her distracted from it was probably the better option. Hiei would come around eventually. The ice maiden had to believe that.

“Well, look what we have here!” The girls all looked towards the owner of a familiar voice and saw Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama walking up to them, although Kuwabara practically sprang over to Yukina and Shizuru pulled him away from the maiden as he gushed ridiculously over her. Botan chuckled at the familiar antics. “So, Botan, it’s been a while,” Yusuke greeted, but then he got a good look at her. “Um, hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but can spirits gain weight in a human body?”

Keiko slapped her boyfriend over the head. “Yusuke!”

“Ow, hey! What did I do?” he shouted back.

Botan blushed, embarrassed, but was saved by Kurama. “Botan is pregnant, Yusuke.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t be so insensitive, Urameshi. Botan’s pre…nan— WHAT?” The redhead looked over to the ferry girl skeptically. “Are you seriously—?”

Her arms hugging her abdomen. “Um…” Botan replied nervously. “Uh, sort of?”

“Sort of?” Kuwabara repeated, sensing something very off about his friend. He got closer, studied her.

“W-what are you…?”

“Why am I sensing demon energy?” Kuwabara asked, his brow furrowed in concern. “Botan…did someone hurt you?”

“N…” Botan breathed out in shock. “Why is everyone able to tell that that it was a demon?” She looked to Kurama. “Is it really that obvious?”

Kurama’s expression darkened slightly but remained soft as he nodded. Botan’s face fell. So basically, even if she didn’t say anything, anyone could tell it was Hiei’s child. Botan wondered if that was why Kuwabara was studying her so critically. Did he know too, like Kurama, Yukina, and Shizuru? This was going to mess everything up.

“But don’t ask her who it is,” Shizuru spoke up, saving her. “She doesn’t know. She got drunk and hooked up with someone at the wedding.”

“Seriously?” Yusuke asked, chuckling a bit. Botan looked over to him looked a little hurt. “Sorry, Botan, but you have to admit it’s a little funny. I didn’t think you had that many, but I guess you always were a lightweight, anyway.” Botan’s head dropped a little. She felt a tiny bit of shame, and Yusuke immediately sobered. “Uh, I mean… Shit, Kurama, help me out…”

Kurama walked over to Botan and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Perhaps we should just continue on with our business,” he stated. “The two adults over there dragged me along for a new expansion pack for this card game…for children.”

Botan chuckled at that and looked at the other guys who both turned red. “You didn’t need to word it like that,” Yusuke shot back, but Botan’s smile returned and that’s all that mattered. “Um, congratulations, Botan.”

“Yeah, congrats,” Kuwabara added. “Now, go enjoy whatever chick flick you were going to catch, and I’ll see you soon Yukina my love.”

Yukina giggled at that and shook her head. That clown, she thought fondly. He still says those silly things.

“I should take my leave as well,” Kurama stated. “I hope you girls enjoy the rest of the day. Botan, Yukina, I’ll be stopping by Genkai’s tomorrow for a visit.”

“That would be great,” Yukina agreed. Kurama’s visit would definitely brighten Botan’s day. “We’ll have lunch outside.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Kurama returned smoothly before he waved them off. “See you tomorrow then.”

Once that interaction was over, the girls continued to get their tickets and some snacks for the movie. They settled in the theater when the lights went out, and the movie was exactly what the girls needed.

All except Botan.

The whole movie was a comedy that basically outlined her exact position. Although, unlike the characters in the movie, who were actually close friends, and the love interest wasn’t as mean-spirited as Hiei had been. The character’s friendship turned relationship was normal, conventional, and the man was actually happy to go through the pregnancy with the woman. Botan could feel eyes on her, probably Yukina or Shizuru trying to gage her reaction. All Botan wanted to do was sink into her seat and hide until it was time to leave. Then she could at least go back to Genkai’s and be alone. As the day progressed, with each interaction, it was getting harder and harder not to cry.

Shizuru was the one to notice Botan shirk away behind her soda taking small sips, and the psychic frowned. They honestly weren’t expecting a movie like this, and it started off quite humorously. Still, Botan being in a similar, and worse, situation put a damper on the comedy. It probably didn’t help that Yusuke found humor in the scenario. If only he knew what was really going on. Clearly it was enough to overwhelm the most cheerful and positive member of their group.

When the movie was over, Yukina could tell that Botan was sullen, and keeping her out wasn’t going to fix this. Botan tried to fake a cheerful goodbye, and then the two returned to the train station and made their way back to Genkai’s. The ice maiden wanted to talk to Botan, to get her to tell her what was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. Botan wore the most distant look Yukina had ever seen. Her eyes were so devoid. She just looked so desolate. What happened to get her to this point, and how could Yukina pull her out of it?

What Yukina didn’t realize was she couldn’t fix everything. She was already doing enough, keeping Botan afloat. The one responsible for this depression was the only one who could do anything for Botan. Hiei couldn’t believe how the day played out. At first, it was most pathetic. He just stalked the girls on their way to a mall full of annoying human filth. They went to this store where Botan was apparently getting new garments. He figured nothing could go wrong there, but then he sensed fluctuation in demon energy in the area, which could have been nothing now that the barrier was down. Still, he needed to watch her to make sure nothing would happen.

So, using the Jagan, he watched her in the dressing room, trying on clothes. He nearly clamped the Jagan shut to avoid seeing her practically naked, to avoid the memories, but something about her prevented him from doing so. Botan looked so sad, as she looked at her body in the mirror. Logically, she had to know she’d gain weight, but he could see it in her eyes. She was displeased with herself, felt shame at her looks. She hated how she looked in most of the clothes the girls sent her in with, but she found some that she felt comfortable in that didn’t look awful. After she made her selections, she forced on a smile and joined the others to pay.

At lunch, the reason she wanted the salad was because she was displeased with her weight. Yes, it was healthy for the baby, but that wasn’t her reasoning. When Shizuru ordered her just the meat, the baby’s energy practically leapt at the incoming meat, but Botan did not truly want to eat it. At least the others encouraged her to eat, and they told Botan how she was supposed to eat. Botan thankfully listened to them, but it didn’t mean she enjoyed this. She also felt like such an inconvenience because everyone had to cater to her, both in chores and in choosing meals. Where Hiei had been mentally bitching about his sister picking up Botan’s slack, the ferry girl was being even harder on herself.

If Hiei thought that was infuriating, the tumultuous emotions Botan felt when Kuwabara figured out she was carrying a demon child and when Yusuke laughed at her faults were so much worse. Botan actually felt guilt over convincing Hiei to play the game that put them in this situation. She felt even worse because she couldn’t keep protecting him if everyone could sense the energy. Eventually, they’d all find out, yet Botan was still trying to do what he wanted. Why did she care so much about his opinion, anyway?

The movie, that awful piece of trash that he had been forced to watch as he followed them in, did them both in. Botan’s mood soured little by little all throughout the day, but the movie crippled her…and him. He only went to watch out for her, and he planned to get some rest since he couldn’t seem to at the temple. Unfortunately, the unruly laughter of the mass of humans prevented him from achieving his goal. They were lucky he didn’t burn down the room.

Disturbingly enough, the movie somewhat captured the situation he found himself in, though much less realistic. In his and the ferry girl’s situation, they were hardly friends. When she felt lousy, Hiei didn’t cow down. When she felt disheartened over her weight, Hiei would not be telling her she was ‘still so beautiful, glowing even’. And, without a shadow of a doubt, he would not go through the experience with her, wouldn’t be there for her the day she delivered…

And Hiei could feel every last emotion the ferry girl felt from watching the flick.

He scoffed at her idiocy. Did she honestly think he’d ever be like those pathetic, human fools?

“Come on, Botan,” Yukina’s voice spoke as they headed back up the stairs. “Why don’t we play one of Genkai’s board games? We always have fun with those.”

The woman’s head dropped, her countenance falling more and more. Hiei watched her, his eyes narrowed in confusion. “It’s all right, Yukina,” she sighed. “I just need some sleep. I’m very tired.”

“Botan, you’ve been staying in your room a lot lately,” his sister pointed out. “It’s not healthy to shut yourself in like that.”

“Yukina, please,” Botan begged, her voice cracking. “I just need to be alone for a little while. We can play a game when Kurama comes over tomorrow, I promise. Just…I can’t tonight.”

Botan practically ran into the temple and left his twin behind, and the worry in Yukina’s eyes did not fade. Something was amiss, and even Hiei could feel it. He retreated to his tree by Botan’s window and found her sobbing on the bed. She hadn’t cried that hard since the night of their talk, and it sounded like she was hardly breathing at all. The ferry girl wailed out all of her misery, pain that he caused with his callous words, and he honestly didn’t care until the woman cried out in actual pain, nearly screaming.

The next thing he knew, Botan ran from the room toward the bathroom, and Hiei could feel something was physically wrong with her. He flashed from view and entered the temple to find his sister trying to calm the woman down as she threw up blood in the toilet. His eyes widened. Even he knew that couldn’t be normal.

His sister looked at him in surprise. “Hiei!” she called out, her eyes full of fear. “Please, stay with Botan. I need to call Kurama.”

Yukina didn’t even give him the choice as she ran to find a phone. Hiei could hear the woman retch and finally entered the room. She looked awful, and she was still sobbing hysterically. It had to be the most dreadful yet terrifying sight Hiei had ever witnessed, and he had seen some pretty disgusting and terrible things.

Hiei walked over to where Botan was hugging the toilet and crouched down to study her. She had yet to notice he was even there. Her whole body shook; in her mind, she begged for help. This was more than what he thought she’d ever experience, and it was the first time he couldn’t say that she brought this upon herself.

The child’s energy raged which was probably what made the woman sick. The life already seemed sentient. It reached out for Hiei, and now it was responding to the woman’s torrid emotions. There was one thing Hiei could think to do in this situation. The Jagan opened, ready to open communication with his unborn child.

Brat, cut it the hell out!

He felt a curious jolt before the energy finally calmed, and Botan nearly choked on a sob of relief. Her breathing was heavy, but the terrible sweltering feeling in her stomach died down and she was no longer throwing up. However, the damage had been done, and she passed out on the porcelain seat.

Though the fire demon felt like he already done his duty of protecting her, he decided he couldn’t leave her there lying there. There was blood all over her clothes which left Hiei to wonder how long they had been in there. He didn’t think it was that long. Maybe she just produced large volumes of blood, and that alone was alarming.

Gently, Hiei lifted Botan in his arms and sighed in defeat. After everything he saw today, everything she suffered, Hiei realized that he really hadn’t been doing a good job of protecting her. He never thought that, by not catering to her emotions, he would cause her and the child to fall to physical harm. Maybe that movie, albeit sickening, provided some idea to Hiei how he needed to behave. He would not become a sniveling human, but maybe he could stop treating Botan like she was a piece of crap he stepped in. He could start by telling her to get over what he said; he would never apologize for it.

Botan whimpered as he laid her down and complained about a headache in her sleep. That was when Yukina returned with water and a cold rag. Hiei looked to her for news, and the ice maiden obliged. “Kurama said to try to get her to drink something. Most times when pregnant woman throw up blood they are dehydrated, starving, lacking nutrients, or feeling weak. He said the lethargy she’s been feeling could have clued us in, but she’s been exhausted from the beginning.”

“Is it normal?” Hiei asked, expressing interest for the first time. “Does a dehydrated woman always get this sick?”

Yukina’s eyes started to glisten, and she shook her head. “No…” she admitted. “Kurama said he’s calling her doctor, a friend of his. There’s still another train coming in tonight. He said he’s going to bring her here to take a look at Botan. I…I need to get her changed.”

The sound of gems clacking on the floor resounded in the room, and Hiei realized just how bad this really was. His expression darkened. “No,” he told her, shocking his sister. “I’ll deal with her. You’re becoming frantic and need to pull yourself together. She’s…safe with me.”

Yukina offered Hiei a smile and nodded, then left him with the woman. His eyes fell on Botan’s weakened form, still disbelieving that all of this had been a product of his hateful words to her. “Foolish woman,” he scoffed bitterly, going to retrieve an outfit. “If you didn’t take things to heart, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

But he knew it wasn’t her fault. The book said as much. He had been the insensitive jerk who sent her into a spiraling depression. For her to get this sick, she had to have not been eating much or drinking enough to stay hydrated. She was an idiot. She had a child of fire inside of her. She couldn’t afford to be dehydrated.

He tried not to look at her as he undressed her, but when he had to put clothes on, he had no choice but to look. The ferry girl appeared so pale and fragile; she looked like death itself. All of this because of a few words. Hiei shook his head. This really could have been avoided.

Even her hair had blood caked in it because it was down when she got sick in the first place. Hiei sighed and went to move a strand from her face. Botan sighed as his warm fingers touched her cool skin. She was freezing. What the hell was the woman’s body doing to her?

He had no idea what to do for her.

Chapter Text

“So…let me get this straight,” Hanako stated casually while she looked up the stairs which led to a giant temple. She then looked at Kurama skeptically. “You’re telling me that my patient is currently living out here, climbing up and down all these stairs, to come to me, and has to travel all that way alone?”

Kurama didn’t respond right away as he tried to think of a way to explain the matter of the temple away without giving any inclination to the supernatural. “A friend of ours owns this place,” he explained, “so as Botan is currently out of work, she opted to stay considering the aunt of her child lives here as well.” Hanako seemed to be relieved to hear that, but she still didn’t like the idea of Botan going up and down all those stairs. As the baby grew, it would be harder for her to move and much more dangerous. “But as it stands, her employer, also a friend of ours, has been communicating with me. It’s a surprise, but we’re looking for an apartment for her to stay in the city, with an elevator of course.”

The doctor smiled. “It’s good that Botan has so many good friends to help her through this,” she stated. “She was so worried when she came by, about telling the baby’s father.”

“I understand where she’s coming from,” Kurama told her. “Our friend, Hiei, is a tricky character. He is very stoic and keeps distance between himself and other people, but he is around now, and hopefully will come to accept the idea.”

“Sounds like he was raised in a difficult environment,” Hanako observed. “But you said his sister is here.”

“Hiei and Yukina were not raised together,” Kurama replied. “In fact, Hiei has not even told her their relation. Yukina has always known, though, but she is waiting for her brother to come to her. To be honest, I shouldn’t have told you, but I did it for Botan’s sake, so that you can be familiar with her situation. It’s complicated.”

“It definitely sounds like it,” the obstetrician admitted, “and it doesn’t seem fair. Botan is such a kind individual who desires simplicity but is also very curious by nature. I enjoyed speaking with her.”

Kurama laughed lightly. “That sounds like a good interpretation of Botan. You seem to do that quite a bit.”

“In my field, you see many different kinds of people,” Hanako relayed, “both mothers and fathers at their best moments and at their worst. Profiling isn’t the best way to handle a situation, but sometimes it rings true.”

“It’s more than just profiling,” Kurama pointed out. He met the woman’s amused eyes. “Isn’t it?”

“Perhaps that’s a discussion to have another day, Shuichi,” his companion suggested.

Kurama couldn’t help but smirk at the conundrum beside him. “Fair enough.”

The two made it up to the top where the temple lied and walked towards the structure. Kurama paused for a moment and turned back to see Hanako upset and frozen in place. His expression grew dark and serious. “I do not know what exactly we’re walking in on, but Yukina was bordering hysterical, and she is not the type to over-exaggerate.”

Concern flashed in Hanako’s eyes, but she was able to force out a professional, calm façade. “I understand.”

The redhead nodded and finally let the obstetrician in only to be met with Yukina. The ice maiden practically ran over to them. “You must be the doctor.”

Hanako offered the woman a smile. “Yes, I am Dr. Sasaki, but you can call me Hanako. Where is Botan?”

“Botan is sleeping now,” Yukina told her. “I found her throwing up earlier in the bathroom, and there was a lot of blood. I left Hiei with her, and he brought her to her room when the wave ended. He’s been in there with her since.”

“How has Botan been lately?” Hanako asked. “Is she eating well?”

“For a while, she was,” Yukina told the woman. “Botan has been acting off lately, very low, and she hasn’t been coming out of her room much. She barely even goes outside. She’s been eating very little at meals and drinking less. I’ve tried to encourage her, but…”

Hanako placed a comforting hand on the ice maiden’s shoulder and beamed brightly at the girl. “You’ve been taking excellent care of her. I’m going to go take a look at her now.”

Yukina nodded and led the doctor to Botan’s room. Inside, the woman and Kurama could see Hiei sitting on the floor across from the bed, his back pressed against the wall in a very guarded position and his hand on the hilt of his sword. Hiei’s crimson eyes flashed towards them before they were cast on Botan again. “This is the doctor?”

“Yes, Hiei,” Kurama stated. “This is Hanako. She is an acquaintance of mine.” Green eyes shifted to the bed. “How is she?”

“She hasn’t woken up yet,” Hiei reported. “Not since she was sick.”

“Let’s see if we can get her up now,” Hanako suggested. She came inside the room and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand. The woman assumed Hiei was watching her every move. It was both a little comforting for Botan’s sake but unnerving for the doctor. She knelt beside Botan’s bed and ignored the vibes she received from the baby’s father. A gentle hand lightly shook Botan’s shoulder. “Botan, honey,” she greeted softly. The blue-haired woman stirred slightly and moaned. “It’s time to wake up. I need to ask you some questions.”

Light amethyst eyes fluttered open, but Botan still felt so weak. She heard someone call for her and was surprised to see her doctor there. “H-Hanako?” she uttered quietly. “W-what are you doing here?”

“Your friend, Yukina, contacted Shuichi, and he brought me here,” the doctor explained. “She told me that you got sick earlier and that you threw up quite a bit of blood. Do you remember any of this?”

“Huh?” Botan sighed, though it sounded more like a yawn. “I…I have a headache.”

Hanako helped Botan sit up and handed her the glass of water at her bedside. Botan took slow sips in hopes that would help her to feel even a little better. Her doctor smiled at her, thankful that she seemed lucid and knew to hydrate herself. “Better?”

Honest as always, Botan shook her head ‘no’ and frowned. “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel like myself.”

“I can understand,” Hanako responded. “So, why don’t we try to figure out the cause? Do you know what caused you to get sick?”

Botan paled and looked around the room to see Kurama, Yukina, and surprisingly Hiei inside with her. She knew she had to tell her doctor everything that had been going on, even personal stuff, but she couldn't do it with everyone watching her so intently. Hanako seemed to understand. She turned to face everyone in the room, Hiei’s eyes still on her. “Would you all mind if I ask Botan some questions alone? Doctor/patient confidentiality.”

“Of course,” Kurama answered considerately. He touched Yukina’s shoulder. The concerned woman eyed him warily. “Botan is in good hands. We should give her some privacy, all of us.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted before he swiftly disappeared from the room.

Hanako was startled by the abrupt disappearance; her brow raised in question to Kurama. The redhead simply smiled. “We will leave you to it, then.”

Botan watched the others leave, her mind still reeling over the fact that Hiei had actually been in her room watching her so intently. She saw the way he eyed her with distrust and anger before he fled the room. It made her feel even lower. He was probably angry with her for making herself sick, not because he cared but because he had to get involved more than he wanted.

“So, Botan,” Hanako said softly, though her voice held a certain adamant sternness to it. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

The ferry girl felt like sinking back down into bed, and she shirked in defeat and shame. “I didn’t want the others to know.”

“Know what?” Hanako asked. “That you got sick?” Botan shook her head vigorously. “Then what?”

Botan frowned, but she finally decided to admit what she had been feeling to her doctor. “I got into an argument with Hiei a little while ago. He said some hurtful things I took to heart, and I’ve been depressed ever since.” Hanako’s expression soured. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t feel very well. My tummy was upset, you see, so I didn't really eat or drink much. I didn’t mean for it to get this far in such a short time.”

“Most never do,” Hanako empathized. “I understand what led to this, but, Botan, in spite of an argument, you have to make sure you eat and drink. Dehydration most likely played a role in addition to stress. The more stressed you are, the more upset your stomach can be. Not to mention the not eating part. Your stomach has been protesting, and the baby needs all of those nutrients and liquids, too.”

Botan looked horrified. “Did I hurt the baby?”

“Relax, Botan,” Hanako murmured softly. “This only happened once. If it continues to happen, it could hurt the baby which is why it’s important for you to take steps to prevent it. I’d still like to take you with me in the morning to my office and check you and the baby out, but I think everything is fine. I have some suggestions for you in regards to managing your nausea.”

“Like what?”

“Well, first off, you need to drink a lot of water, about ten to twelve glasses if you can, and any juices you can get your hands on,” the doctor started. “That and you actually need to eat, small meals every two to three hours, and don’t eat a ton of food before bed. Avoid any and all aversions you have so as to prevent yourself from getting sick more often. The goal is to reduce any form of sickness. You can add ginger to your drinks and foods to ease the nauseated feeling. As for environmental changes, keep your windows open at night to allow for better airflow in the room through the night, and rest well. That doesn’t mean, though, to stay in bed all the time. It means to relax and manage your stress. You have to absolutely avoid as much stress as possible, and to do that…you may have to take drastic measures.”

“W…What do you mean?” Botan questioned nervously.

“I really hate to say this, Botan, but as your doctor…if the baby’s father is going to cause you emotional harm being here, then he either needs to be set straight or sent on his way.” Botan was about to protest, but Hanako was forceful. “You’re the one who is pregnant, not him, and if he can’t respect what you’re putting yourself through for yours and the baby’s sake then he doesn’t need to be here. So many people have been in your situation, and some of them don’t want to bring a child into the world for one reason or another. You, you’re choosing a difficult path that won’t just end with being pregnant. You’re going to be a mother, and you’ll need all the help and support you can get. It’s about your health right now, not him. This can’t happen again, because if it does we may have to put you on medication, and that is not ideal for the baby.”

“But I want him to be okay,” Botan countered. “Hiei is my friend.”

“A real friend doesn’t send you spiraling into depression.”

Although it was a bitter pill to swallow, Botan had to admit Hanako had a point. The ferry girl was reluctant to send Hiei away. She knew he wouldn’t take to the suggestion because of his honor code and his commitment to protect them, but she couldn't do this anymore. It was only a few days and she had fallen so far both health wise and emotionally. It wasn’t fair to her when she was already dealing with so much.

Maybe it really would be the best if Hiei did leave.

Hiei did not stop watching the woman even after he left the room. He knew she had been wary of him, and he only little idea as to why. When he left the room, it frustrated him, and he scoffed at Kurama’s statement. There was no way in hell he was giving the woman her ‘privacy’. While she was in this condition, he would continue to watch over her.

Of course, that meant he was privy to the entire conversation between the ferry girl and her doctor, and the whole scenario left him feeling sour. His expression turned from neutral to angered. How dare anyone get involved with their personal life, one who had nothing to do with their group except maybe the fox? Speaking of…

Hiei was so focused on Botan’s conversation that he hadn’t noticed Kurama use his powers on a nearby tree, which effectively tripped Hiei with its root. The fire demon hardly caught himself and looked up at his usual comrade. The former fox demon wore an accusatory gaze and crossed his arms.

“What was that for?” Hiei hissed in fury.

“What did you say to make Botan so upset?” Kurama questioned. “I had my suspicions, and even Yukina suspects your involvement. You’re usually callous with words, and Botan clearly took offense. I need to know what had her so distraught.”

“Hn,” Hiei scoffed. “You all need to mind your own business. What I said to the ferry girl is between myself and her. If she’s offended by it, that’s her problem. The only reason she’s going through any of this is because of a child that’s not meant to exist.” He noticed Kurama’s brow soften as the words left him. “What?”

The fox grew stern again and this time made a demand of Hiei. “Need I remind you of my warning? I see Botan as a younger sister. Fix this; make it right. I don’t care what you have to do. However, if something happens to her and the child, again, I will to you, and I will not be merciful due to our friendship. Botan is my priority right now, and she should be yours too.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Hiei snapped. “Against my will, but I am bound here because of my word. I’ll watch over your precious ‘sister’ for the time being, but once that brat is out, I am gone, and I will not be coming back.”

“It’s funny,” Kurama chuckled sardonically. “I once had a similar mentality. ‘Once my power returns, I’m gone.’ Something stopped me, as you know. I learned then it’s easy to say things when you have no idea what you will feel in the future. I want you to remember this moment, Hiei. I’m willing to wager that your attitude will change somehow, and by then it might be too late to do anything about it.”

“I’m not you,” Hiei growled. “This world has diluted you. I am not going to conform to your pathetic society. Now, leave me be. I’ve already spent too much time on this bullshit.”

Kurama’s expression fell. “Then you are on your own. You better make it right, and you better figure it out for yourself. Botan won’t survive if you can’t get over your ego.”

The redhead left Hiei alone with his thoughts. Truthfully, Hiei hardly meant what he said. Sure, he meant ninety percent of it, but there was a part he uttered just to save face. He really did plan to do a little bit more, if only to get Botan out of this hormone-induced funk. Had Kurama not been belittling him and giving him orders, Hiei may have been inclined to ask for advice since he didn’t know how to proceed when it came to Botan. Oh well…he would figure it out. Right now he had to figure out a way to alert Botan to the fact that he wouldn’t leave no matter what the issue. She would just have to deal, and that nosy doctor would have to get over it also.

He wasn’t going anywhere.

Everyone in the compound retreated for the night; the doctor stayed close by Botan’s room. It was the middle of the night, and the ferry girl was still awake. This would be Hiei’s only opportunity to get Botan alone while she was lucid enough. She seemed surprised to see him as he entered through her open window. It seemed she was taking the doctor up on her advice. Hopefully, it would all prove worth it.

Both of them remained silent. Botan refused to look directly at Hiei, but the fire demon knew she heard him come in. The two stayed in silence for the longest time, and eventually Hiei got sick of it. He had something to say, and he was going to say it.

“You shouldn’t worry about my opinions. They don’t matter.”

Botan’s eyes landed on his, and Hiei had to force his body not to react. He had no idea what kind of power this ferry girl held over him, but he detested it. Her gaze questioned him, but she didn’t speak. Maybe she was hoping for more. Hiei didn’t have much more to say. “I made it clear from the beginning that I would not be involved. I have no say in what you do, and therefore my opinions are just that…opinions. If you don’t like them, then stop asking and just get over it because my mind will not change. And there will be others who have negative things to say about this. The child will need a mother who doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks. Your brat will already be subjected to prejudice in Spirit World for being born of a ferry girl and a demon and in Demon World for being a hybrid.”

The woman clearly didn't know what to say, but she wanted to say something. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. It was as if something was preventing her from saying anything in response. Hiei began to walk away and leave the room through the window from which he entered. He paused right in front of the window. “And I don’t care if the others in the group know,” he told her, once again stunning the ferry girl. “I simply didn’t wish to be bothered by any of them, but you can do whatever you want. After all, my opinions, thoughts, and ‘feelings’ are meaningless.” Botan blinked, especially when he bitterly uttered out the word ‘feelings’ like it made him physically ill with disgust.

The fire demon left her alone in the room, and Botan simply had no words. She had just been thinking of a way to ask Hiei to leave, but then he showed up and tried to make an effort to appease her despite his past callousness. His words led her to believe that he didn't care if she went against what he wanted, but that he’d continue to have those opinions. Where that still left Botan feeling saddened, he also indicated that he wouldn't care if their friends knew. A smile crossed her features. Well, maybe once the others knew, she wouldn’t feel so alone. Something did strike her heart though, and she couldn’t help but wish Hiei had stayed so she could thank him.

It seemed like the cold-hearted fire demon cared about her feelings, even if it was just a little bit.

Chapter Text

Botan took a deep breath; she felt very wary that many pairs of eyes were on her. She knew this was probably not the best way to deal with it, but Hiei did give her permission to tell everyone. She really just wanted to do it the one time, so she invited everyone to Genkai’s for lunch. Once everyone was finished eating, Botan broached the subject of the baby’s father which earned everyone’s attention. Her only consolation was that two in the group already knew. Kurama and Yukina both flashed her empathetic smiles. That helped prompt her to speak. “So, we all know it happened the day of the wedding,” Botan murmured, her dainty fingertips tapped together nervously. “I wasn’t completely honest when I said I didn’t know who the father was.”

Yusuke’s brow quirked as if he made a total realization. “Wow, it really was Chu, huh?” Keiko slapped Yusuke over the head and shouted his name.

“No…” Botan sighed. Did everyone notice that Chu wasn’t in the room the same time she wasn’t? Why did everyone just assume—?

“Oh God,” Kuwabara cried out, and Botan was fairly certain he figured it out. “Don’t tell me it was Shishiwakamaru.”

A frustrated sigh left the woman. “No,” she said more adamantly. “It was—”

Yusuke snapped his fingers. “Then it’s gotta be Suzuki,” he figured.

Shizuru shook her head. “This would go more smoothly if you would just let the girl talk.”

“Agreed,” Kurama offered. “I believe we should let Botan speak her mind.”

“That’s the kind way of saying ‘shut it, dimwit’,” Genkai spat. “Now, let’s get on with it.”

“Thanks,” Botan replied before smiling. “Hiei is the father.”

There was silence for a moment before Yusuke started howling with laughter thinking it was a joke, but the air around the room sobered him, especially when Kuwabara’s eyes widened in recognition. He must have sensed something Yusuke could not. “You’re not kidding, are you?” the former detective said in a daze.

“Nope,” Botan chimed, happy to finally reveal her news.

“I knew that energy felt familiar!” Kuwabara snapped. “And what, shorty is just leaving you to deal with it?”

Kuwabara’s chivalry was something Botan expected. She was certain Hiei wouldn’t like anyone to know this, but she wouldn’t allow anyone to believe he completely abandoned her, not when he came to talk to her. He was still callous about everything, but he visited her when she was ill. He encouraged her to be strong for the sake of the child she wanted. No, he wasn’t fully onboard, but he didn’t say all those nasty things for her to take to heart. For some reason, this is how he felt. She didn’t know if his mind would change overtime, but in his defense, he hadn’t found out all that long ago. For now, she’d take his advice. She wouldn’t ask him anymore. Maybe one day, he would come to her instead.

“Actually,” she stated, “Hiei’s been around. He helped me when I got really sick.”

Kuwabara wasn’t fully convinced, and he was already outside shouting Hiei’s name, demanding that the fire demon show himself. Hiei glanced down at the human from his tree and scoffed. He had absolutely no intention of appearing before him. When he told the woman she could tell everyone, he hadn’t expected her to do it right away. Still, before this farce of a meeting, Shizuru appeared beneath his tree and gave her own version of a lecture. It appeared that she was talking to no one, humoring herself, but she admitted that she knew the identity of the baby’s father and she knew he was there. Her words before she entered were that she expected him to do right by the woman.

Her brother had similar statements, but his shouting and name calling irritated the fire demon. “Kuwabara, knock it off,” he heard the detective call. “He’s not coming out, not to you yelling.”

“I don’t care,” the redhead shot back. “I’m gonna find that punk and drag him inside.”

“Kazuma, please,” Yukina softly pleaded. “You can talk to him another day. Just come back inside. You’re worrying Botan.”

That seemed to do the trick, and Hiei was thankful for his sister’s interference. The former detective and his psychic friend went inside, though the ice maiden remained outside. Hiei sighed and made an appearance, only for her. She was the only being on the planet he owed anything to.

Crimson eyes met crimson eyes, and Yukina smiled. “I knew you were there. I figured after what happened with Botan, you didn’t need to be questioned at this point. I’m sure it was overwhelming for you both.”

“I’m fine,” he responded curtly, not understanding why all these women were concerned over his emotional comfort.

Yukina offered a warm, knowing smile, and he hated that, but he didn’t say anything. He simply watched his twin and waited for her to speak. She clearly wanted to say something. “I just want you to know that I already knew.” That surprised Hiei, but he didn’t react. “If you need anything—”

“I’m fine,” Hiei emphasized, his voice a bit bitter. “Do not concern yourself with me. Focus on the woman. She needs it more.”

“I understand that,” Yukina agreed, “but if you need to talk, I’ll listen.”

An irritated sigh left him, but he nodded all the same mainly to convince Yukina he would consider her offer. His twin seemed content with his response, or lack thereof, before she left him alone to the quiet outdoors. Well, at least it was over for now, others imposing on his time. He’d remain hidden for the rest of the day. They’d be too involved with the woman and her condition. He was perfectly all right with her getting all the attention.

He’d rather remain in the shadows.

Once the initial shock wore off, everyone’s focus returned to Botan. The girls asked her even more questions, and Kuwabara kept trying to bring her food, water, or whatever she might need. Kurama felt a great deal of relief for the woman. Now that everyone knew the truth, she wasn’t as alone, and her spirit brightened somewhat. The fox knew that, for Botan to have confessed about the affair to their friends, something had to have changed. Hiei must have given her the go ahead which was more than Kurama expected after their little talk. The fire demon was looking out for Botan in his own way, and that alone was encouraging. Kurama would still keep his eye on the fire demon, but this was a decent and unexpected start. Hopefully, Hiei would continue to surprise him.

Now that Botan made her big announcement, though, Kurama had to discuss something else with her. Hanako was correct to question him about this location. With how difficult this pregnancy already was on Botan, she’d need to be closer to her doctor, closer to the city, and he and Koenma conspired to find Botan a decent place to live until the baby was born. It was time to broach that subject.

Botan didn’t seem too thrilled by the idea.

“But I don’t want to leave,” Botan countered, looking to Yukina. Even the ice maiden seemed surprised by the suggestion, but her expression grew grim for she too agreed that Botan needed to be closer to her doctor, somewhere safer, and she wanted to assist as much as possible.

“It might be better for you,” Yukina soothed. It was then that Botan learned how worried Yukina had been for her. Her voice cracked as she said, “You were really sick. I couldn’t help you. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“But I’ll miss you,” Botan argued. An unspoken, I don’t want to be alone again, crossed her realm of thought. It weighed on her heart heavily.

“I know,” Yukina offered. “And I’ll miss you too. I just wish there was more I can do to help you.”

“And you don’t have to worry,” Kuwabara assured Botan. “I’ll bring Yukina over to visit as often as you both would like.”

Yukina looked to the redheaded human, smiling. “Thank you, Kazuma.”

Botan’s amethyst eyes met Kurama’s, and his eyes were adamant. She knew he wasn’t leaving her much of a choice, and she did understand. As she got bigger, the stairs wouldn’t be safe for her to take. She had already almost fallen once. She would be in the city, closer to all of her other friends, so she wouldn’t be completely alone. Just, it wouldn’t be the same. If she felt overwhelmed, she wouldn’t be able to seek out someone who would be willing to listen.

“It is for the best,” Kurama stated empathetically and rubbed her shoulder. “For you and the baby.”

She looked away, but she finally nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. If you all don’t mind, though, I’m starting to feel pretty tired. Is it okay if I go to lie down for a bit?”

“Of course,” Kurama assured her. “You don’t have to ask that.”

Botan nodded and slowly trudged to her room. Everyone watched on feeling slight concern. They had no idea what changed her mood. It would have been easy to blame it on the mood swings. No, there was something bothering their friend. Even when everyone else went back to conversing, Kuwabara’s eyes didn’t leave the ferry girl. He had a feeling as to why she was feeling so low, and there was someone else who needed to fix it.

Hiei was outside, watching from afar as always. He knew what had been proposed, and even he could not deny that it was a better option for the ferry girl. Out here, she was a liability to herself. The night she nearly wandered into the forest was an example of her foolishness. Her answer should have been a resounding ‘yes’, but it wasn’t, and regrettably Hiei was exposed to her stray thought. It bothered him that he was starting to pick up on these things, her stray emotions, and he could now recognize when she was feeling low or depressed. Once again, she went to hold herself up in her room. The fire demon sighed knowing that what he was about to do would have tons of repercussions for him later.

He jumped down from the tree and caught himself as his hand touched the ground, and he was unfortunately face to face with the human he had been trying to avoid. Kuwabara towered over him and glared down. Hiei stood up and looked away from the one he deemed an oaf and grunted. His eyes were narrowed. He knew what the bastard was going to say, and he did not need any of his romanticism bullshit.

“Get the hell away from me,” Hiei demanded coolly.

“Yeah, right,” Kuwabara scoffed. “Look, we both know you know why I’m here. You need to take care of Botan.”

“Stay out of it,” Hiei warned. “What I choose to do is none of your business.”

“Botan is my friend, so I’m making it my business,” the redhead replied adamantly. “No matter what happened, you’re responsible for this. You need to do right by her.”

“And you need to shut your mouth,” Hiei remarked, his eyes shifting to the human. “I do not need to explain myself to you, and I owe you no explanation, so just get out of my—”

“Well, hello to you too,” Yusuke greeted, coming out into the courtyard. He looked between his two friends and grinned. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Hn,” Hiei growled and turned away from Kuwabara.

The psychic sighed and shook his head. “Nah, we’re done here.” He started to head back inside. “You better think about what I said. She deserves better than this.”

Hiei rolled his eyes. Kuwabara said basically what Hiei expected, but the human had no idea what was going on, and Hiei intended to keep it that way. No one needed to know what his plans were or how he intended to handle the woman and her pregnancy. He would figure it out on his own.

And now the detective was still standing right there as if he were waiting for something. “What?” Hiei hissed.

“Uh, so…you know, congrats on the baby and all,” Yusuke murmured awkwardly whilst he rubbed the back of his head. “I’m still kind of shocked. You and Botan…I didn’t think that was a thing.”

“It’s not,” Hiei clipped almost immediately. Yusuke’s eyes widened a fraction. “It was a drunken fling that produced this chaos.”

“Still, though…you and Botan got pretty chummy at all our gatherings,” Yusuke pointed out as he walked to Hiei’s side. The fire demon eyed him cautiously, and a hand clamped down on his shoulder. The mazoku grinned like an idiot; Hiei’s expression went flat. “So, let’s be honest, since it’s just the two of us. There’s been something there, hasn’t there? Before all this.”

Hiei glared at the former detective. “You’re an idiot.”

“Heh, maybe…sometimes,” Yusuke agreed, “but I’m right about this, aren’t I? You just don’t want to admit it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hiei grunted. He shook himself free of Yusuke’s hold. “You’re seeing something that isn’t there all because of this damned affair.”

Yusuke sobered up just a bit, all jokes aside. “Look, I’m being serious here,” he stated. “Botan has been my friend for a long time, and I care about her. We’ve all been through hell and back. Just don’t hurt her. That’s the only thing I have to say. That and if something happens, just let it happen. I don’t think you’ll regret it.”

“Your concerns are unjustified,” Hiei returned, closing his eyes.

Yusuke nodded. “I know,” he surrendered. “And, no matter what you decide, you’ll at least know the kid will be fine. He or she won’t just have Botan. It’ll have a bunch of aunts and uncles, too, to help raise him or her.”

Hiei’s eyes snapped open at such a declaration. It was the first time he truly conceived such a notion, and the impact of Yusuke’s words was strong. There was no doubt in Hiei’s mind that the detective was right. They would all raise his child along with the ferry girl, and that left a bitter taste in the fire demon’s mouth.

Hiei was not delusional; he knew he had no desire to raise the woman’s brat. His understanding was always that the woman would raise the child, probably in Spirit World, but it was possible that wouldn’t be the case. It made more sense for the child to remain in the living world, and that meant a great deal of exposure to his humanized comrades, as Yusuke stated, and that did not sit well with Hiei for some reason. Maybe, it was because he didn’t want Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama to have a hand in molding his child’s behavior. And maybe, just maybe, Hiei was going to ignore that foreign sentiment for the time being.

Yusuke clearly noticed Hiei’s distaste and smirked. He knew his words already got under Hiei’s skin. He knew the fire demon liked to act tough, but even Yusuke wasn’t blind. There was something more going on than just a one-night stand. Hiei was just too stubborn to see it. “Just think about it,” the former detective announced, breaking Hiei out of his unwanted thoughts. “Anyway, I guess I’ll be seeing you around a bit more. Later.”

Hiei watched Yusuke depart back inside the building, his heated eyes fixated on the man who just soured his mood and put ideas in his head that he’d rather not consider. It made Hiei feel more torn over what he was about to endure before he had been accosted by the two idiots. In a way, he wanted to avoid another infuriating encounter, and in another way, he just wanted to get it over with. Maybe he just needed to take a step back, wait for the others to either leave or go to bed. What he needed to say was meant for one person, and he did not need an audience for that.

He just had to bide his time.

Regrettably, the others decided they’d spend the night at Genkai’s and hopefully cheer Botan up in the morning. At least it didn’t take long for them to turn in for the night except for Yukina and Kuwabara. The ice maiden washed some dishes and Kuwabara dried them. It was a nauseating display to say the least.

Hiei wandered to Botan’s room, opened the door, and closed it behind him for he knew Botan was just lying there. She barely cast him a glance, and he felt like this was becoming a common pattern with them. His eyes narrowed at the woman. It seemed she’d never learn. “Get up.”

A sigh escaped her.  “Go away, Hiei,” she ordered wryly.

Hiei felt himself bristle with irritation. “No,” he responded. “You need to get up. You’ve been lying there for hours. I don’t think your doctor would approve, or do you want to repeat what happened the other day?”

That seemed to do the trick, and Botan sat up instantly. Her eyes casted probably one of the saddest looks Hiei had ever seen. Worst of all, it was directed at him. “Do you even know what’s going on?”

Hiei grunted an affirmative. “You’re being given the chance for a better living option and you’re sulking like a toddler.”

Botan pouted at the crass response. She turned away and crossed her arms. “You wouldn’t understand what I’m feeling right now,” she retorted bitterly before she realized the words left her mouth. She tried to salvage herself by saying, “I don’t want to leave Yukina.”

“Yukina will be fine, and you know it,” Hiei forcefully stated. “Try again.”

The ferry girl shook her head, and Hiei realized that Botan really didn’t want to admit the problem to him. It didn’t surprise him. Despite what the detective said, he and the ferry girl weren’t really close, and this ordeal would not bring them closer. They were hardly friends, and yet here he was trying to question her after he told her in not so many terms that he did not care. Even now, he really didn’t. This was just part of their agreement and nothing more.

It was harder for Botan than she thought it would be to tell Hiei what she felt. In truth, she was really afraid and didn’t want to be alone, not when she was dealing with this. With everything that happened—the words she exchanged with Hiei and everything else—she just felt terribly alone. She never expected any of this to be easy, but she also didn’t expect it to be so hard, either. Her mind was all over the place, taunted her for her contradictory thoughts. And Hiei…he showed her one act of compassion, and that was probably all she’d receive.

But he was standing right in front of her, wasn’t he? That wasn’t something she expected, and now she was more confused than ever. “I don’t…” she started to say, but she stopped herself from finishing that statement. “What if something happens?”

Her concern was legitimate. Hiei didn’t have much of an answer for her. “You’ll be fine.” The woman was about to contest his statement, but Hiei interrupted her with words that shocked her. “I will be there as well.”

“Y-you…?”

“Just because you change locations doesn’t mean you won’t still be at risk of being attacked,” Hiei reminded her, “and I have obligated myself to protecting you and the child from harm. In addition, the fox said you’ll be residing in some apartment building. To better ensure your safety, I will have to be inside and close by.”

“Y-you’re serious…” Botan whispered. “You actually want to live together?”

Hiei crossed his arms, his mouth tilted downward in a sneer. “Make no mistake, ferry girl. This means nothing. I will simply be monitoring the area for demonic activity, nothing more. It is a means to an end.”

“Oh, I see,” Botan replied, her voice soft but troubled. “Well, that’s fine then, I guess. If that’s all you wanted to tell me… I need to get some sleep.”

“Fine,” Hiei said in response before he looked out her closed window. He walked over and opened it; he could feel Botan’s eyes on him. “We’ll go with Kurama in the morning.” With that, he disappeared into the night.

Botan honestly had no idea how to react to what just happened. One moment, she was wallowing in self-pity. The next, Hiei almost said something sweet. Of course it meant nothing to him. She should have known that the moment he offered instead of making a fool out of herself. Her mind made her think his offer was much more than it was, and she almost felt excited. She really did want to share this experience with him, but he was determined to remind her at every turn that he did not want this baby and did not care if it existed. Maybe she should have told him ‘no’ instead of agreeing like an idiot.

There was nothing between them, and she was certain that living with Hiei would be like living with a phantom.

The following week, Botan finally moved into the apartment. Kurama and the boys helped her move all of her clothes there. Hiei followed closely behind, though only Kurama seemed to notice. Botan must have too, for Kurama caught her looking for the demon a few times. Hiei probably told her he’d come. Once Botan was settled in, Yusuke and Kuwabara left to return to their lives, and Hiei finally made an appearance. Kurama continued to show Botan everything she needed to know about her new home—where the elevator was, the trash shoot, and how to use the appliances. Botan immediately figured these things out having spent much time in the human realm before, so there wasn’t much she needed to know. Mainly the demonstration was for the fire demon, but Kurama wasn’t going to tell Hiei that. He probably wouldn’t have taken too kindly to the thought of having to do anything with ‘human contraptions’.

“So, what will I do about grocery shopping?” Botan asked. “I…don’t exactly have a job here.”

Kurama offered her a kind smile and said, “Just let me worry about that. For now, you’re already stocked.” Botan frowned; she did not like that answer, and the redhead could tell. “We all just want to help you and make sure you’re taken care of, even Koenma when he aided in acquiring this apartment. We all want you to be safe and for you to deliver a healthy baby.”

Botan’s expression softened, and she sighed. “I know. I just didn’t expect it to be like this. I feel like I should be doing more for myself.”

“You will be,” Kurama told her, “especially now. Maybe it’ll be good for you here, having something to do. Just make sure you continue to eat properly.”

“I will,” the woman assured him. “Thank you for everything.”

“Of course,” Kurama replied. “I’ll come to check on you tomorrow after work.”

“Sounds good,” Botan agreed. “Thanks again.”

Kurama nodded and smiled at the ferry girl before he took his leave from the apartment. Botan locked the door behind him. She felt a little bit better knowing that Kurama would be visiting, and he was right. She could do more for herself, and even for Hiei. There was food in the house, so she could cook them a nice meal. It occurred to Botan that she didn’t know much about Hiei, including what he liked to eat. She turned around to face Hiei, her mouth open to speak, but she found herself alone in the hall. It didn’t surprise her, but it still left her feeling sullen as she went to make something to eat. She had to at least keep her promise to Kurama.

Later, Botan was in for a big surprise when Hiei came out of the room while she was lounging in the living room. She spent the last part of the past hour skipping through channels, not really settling on anything. Right before Hiei entered the room, she landed on a soap opera, probably not something Hiei would be interested in…and yet he smoothly walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the couch. Botan eyed him strangely as he casually lied back, his hands behind his head and his feet kicked up on the coffee table. He didn’t say anything, but his presence there both startled and eased Botan at the same time. She curled up her feet and leaned against the arm of the couch.

Although she was bored, she felt a bit livelier the second Hiei sat down on the couch. He noticed her change in disposition and mentally shook his head. Was this really all it took to improve her mood? It was completely pathetic, but it took no extra energy to just sit there. He was supposed to be guarding her after all.

Hiei hardly paid attention to the human entertainment. These soap operas reminded him so much of that crappy movie he attended to keep watch over the ferry girl. All the plots of these shows running in the background had to do with the craziness surrounding pregnancy, women not wanting to tell the father about a potential child or being scared to tell, and then faking paternity tests and lying about paternal identities.

This nonsense was starting to irritate the fire demon.

Annoyed, Hiei was about to tell the ferry girl to turn the human garbage off, but when he saw her face he was silent. She looked just about as enraged as he felt. “This is ridiculous,” she claimed. “I can’t believe anyone could ever be that dishonest. If they didn’t like or trust those men, they shouldn’t have been involved with them in the first place.” She turned the viewing box off and then huffed a deep breath before she looked at Hiei with a brilliant smile. “But I guess that’s why it’s fiction, right?”

The fire demon didn’t know how to respond to her statement. In fact, her words surprised him somewhat, touched him in ways that made him feel uncomfortable. His expression shifted, growing firm as his mouth formed a straight line. That was the moment, as Hiei perceived, where Botan indirectly admitted that underneath it all, despite his callous words and harshness towards her, that she either trusted him, wanted to be involved with him, or both, and he didn’t know how to feel about any of it. That statement left Hiei feeling more confused than he ever thought possible. He didn’t respond to it. Instead, he got up silently and retreated to his room for the night.

Botan released a heavy sigh, unsure as to what set Hiei off. He seemed okay albeit quiet for the span of a couple hours with her. She had to accept that she may never understand the fire demon, but she hoped to learn more about him now that they were in close quarters. She owed it to their child, and she was not going to be like those fictional women on T.V.

It was getting later, so Botan decided to have a quick snack of fruit and tea, and then she headed off to her room for the night to read a bit before bed. The next day would be pretty hectic. Not only would Kurama visit, but tonight after dinner, Shizuru gave her a call. She and Keiko thought maybe the next day—to keep up Botan’s spirits—the girls would meet up. Kuwabara would bring Yukina from the mountains. They could start window-shopping for the baby. It was a good way for Botan to start getting ideas. Botan shook her head as a thought crossed her mind.

She really should have it mentioned to Hiei first, in case he wanted to join, but then she remembered he had no interest in their child past protection. Maybe it would be better if he just watched from afar.

Eventually, they’d have to fall into some sort of rhythm…right?

Chapter Text

A few days passed since Botan and Hiei took to their new living arrangements. Like Botan originally believed, living with Hiei was exactly like living with a phantom. The first day, the ferry girl hoped to breach the distance between them, but after he left her the other night, she hardly saw him again. The only reason she knew that he was still around was because he did come out of his room for meals and occasionally during the day. However, each time she saw him, their eyes would merely meet before he would turn his back on her and walk away to shut himself in again. It left Botan dispirited. She truly thought that they were making progress prior to leaving Genkai’s temple. She was wrong.

Her reasons for not wanting to leave the temple hit her full force. It was strange to the ferry girl to have someone so close by and yet feel completely alone. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t as though she were truly on her own. Aside from the elusive Hiei, her friends visited her each night, mainly the girls. Kurama was busy at the university, and Yusuke and Kuwabara still didn’t know how to fully react. Considering the hormonal changes, they were waiting for their friend to have ‘mood swings’ as humans called them. Botan could honestly say she wasn’t there yet. She only seemed to have one mood as of late.

Depression.

Botan knew all about depression considering she was a ferry girl. She knew, above all, that she was fine, safe, and loved. Even though she felt low, she did not want to harm herself again, not like she did when she starved herself. She was trying to take care of herself for her baby’s sake. A hand moved to rest itself on her abdomen. No, she wouldn’t put his or her life in danger again. Either way, her resolve didn’t make the feeling go away.

Her friends’ visits helped to keep her steady until they had to leave and return home. Once that happened, Botan was left to her own thoughts and devices. It wasn’t so much Hiei anymore. Even though he still regarded her with cold indifference, he was at least present in his own way. Now, her anxiety was caused by a different beast, her own worries and concerns.

Arming herself with knowledge could only help to a certain extent. It did not stop the most ridiculous thoughts from entering her head. The book told her it was normal for any new mother to feel these things, but her brain just wouldn’t leave her alone. She just wanted there to be an off switch. She needed a break.

However, three nights of torturous thoughts could damper anyone’s spirit.

Botan couldn’t help but wonder that if she was struggling so much now, how could she ever hope to handle labor and raising a child on her own? Her mind then went to labor. She ferried souls of women who died in childbirth before, so she accepted it wouldn’t be an easy process. What if she wasn’t strong enough? How would she handle the pain of labor? What would happen to her baby if she didn’t survive? Well, most likely her human body would be destroyed, but what would that mean for her spirit? Would she still exist as an entity of Spirit World, or would a much different fate await her?

She tried to shake those thoughts away most nights only to be met with others. Botan was a ferry girl, one who knew only a handful of information about Human World in comparison. How could she be a good mother if she didn’t know what it was like to care for an infant, especially in a foreign world? Would she have to quit her ferry girl duties? How would she be able to sustain a child? Her baby would eventually grow up and need to attend school. How would she pay for it? She didn’t have a job that could provide. She didn’t even have a record in Human World or schooling, and the time she pretended to be a foreign exchange student at Yusuke’s school didn’t count. Her heard dropped in defeat. She was going to destroy this poor child.

Not able to sleep, she took out the book and read for a little bit, hoping to get some idea on how to stop this cycle. Her eyes scanned the words dutifully. If you’re a first-time mother, worries such as these are normal and you’ll have plenty of questions only experience can answer. The reality is that nearly every woman, underneath that pregnancy glow, can feel anxious, worried, or hesitant about some aspect of pregnancy, childbirth, or parenting. When worries plague your mind, try to find something else to put forth all of that anxious energy. Keep your mind off the doubt and take time to relax.

Well, Botan was certain she couldn’t stave off the doubt or relax but putting her energy into a new activity would help. One thing she needed to know how to do was cook, not only for herself, but for her child as well. Kurama filled her apartment with all sorts of fruits, vegetables, meats, spices, and baking ingredients. She took down a list of everything she had and went to an old laptop of Shizuru’s her friend gave her. Her friends were so supportive, and she tried to cling to the feeling of contentment it gave her.

Botan found many recipes and turned the kitchen into her trial kitchen. In one day, she made enough food to last a week. Later that day, Hiei decided to venture out of his room and looked at the woman like she was crazy. Botan spun around the moment he regarded her, their eyes meeting. Botan appeared timid at first, but only because she was surprised the fire demon had shown himself. Her eyes lit up, expression brightening as she raced over to him and yanked him over to the table. Hiei would have pulled away had he been prepared for her ‘assault’, but he also didn’t want to react and accidentally hurt the baby. That was below even him, to harm his child due to surprise.

Unfortunately for him, he ended up becoming her reluctant test subject. It was unsettling the way Botan stared at him. He did not want to be watched as he ate, and he glared at her. Amethyst eyes unnerved him, and he wanted to say something scathing to compel her to leave. Finally listening to the stupid book, he decided to hold his tongue to avoid a repeat of past events. No, instead his crimson eyes did the talking, but Botan didn’t take the hint. “So,” she lightly spoke, “what do you think?”

A quirked brow was her answer, eyes still narrowed and irritated. Think about what? he couldn’t help but wonder. It wasn’t like she had asked him a question. She was silent and just continued to stare at him. Did she think that he read her mind when she said that? Maybe he should do just that to figure out what she wanted. His expression soured. He wouldn’t stoop that low.

Botan’s face fell when he didn’t answer, but then she shoved another plate towards him. “Maybe the eggs were a little overcooked? Here, try these brownies.”

His gaze became more indifferent than annoyed. “This is about food?”

“Well, yes,” Botan replied, somewhat surprised Hiei spoke. That was the most he had said to her since the week before when he told her he would be residing with her. “I’ve been trying out all these recipes. I’ve never really cooked anything before, so I wanted to start getting practice. I started with some easy stuff today, but if it’s any good, I’ll try something a little more complicated for dinner.”

Hiei scoffed but said nothing more, and he didn’t even try to appease her. He stood up from the table and walked away leaving a wounded woman in his wake. His eyes were drawn to the living room, the room filled with human contraptions meant for the baby. The ferry girl went on a shopping excursion with the others. Because he resided in the room the baby would take up, the guys couldn’t set up whatever that stuff was, so the living room became a storage area. Botan took the time to list off the objects to him: car seat, stroller, crib, and mattress, among other things. It didn’t really matter to him for he wouldn’t be there anyway. The day the child was born would be the day his life would go back to normal. Though, now every time he thought about returning to Mukuro, he felt a slight apprehension. He chalked it up to not wanting to admit his mistake to a woman he respected and emulated. He wasn’t going to let this child get in the way of his ambitions.

Botan sort of expected Hiei to revert to silence, but it was disheartening, nonetheless. She had little time to dwell on it for she had an appointment with Hanako that day. At the beginning of the pregnancy, it was normal for once-a-month appointments. Due to how sick Botan had been a week earlier, Hanako wanted to see her and make sure she was doing better. A sigh escaped the ferry girl and she froze eyeing Hiei. If he heard the noise, he didn’t react or respond to it.

“Well, anyway,” Botan murmured sheepishly. Hiei’s eyes shifted to her. “I have a doctor’s appointment today, if you wanted to join. You don’t have to. It’s not far away, but I just wanted to offer.”

“I will not be going,” Hiei said stoically. He really had no desire to be involved with this portion of it, and as she said it wasn’t far meaning he could rush to her if he needed.

“I figured,” Botan sighed, and this time Hiei did react, his eyes narrowed once again. “Just help yourself to the food. I’ll just be getting ready.”

Botan returned to her room and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the wood and let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. It was not surprising that Hiei wasn’t ready to go to doctor’s appointments with her. He didn’t go with her last time despite this protection agreement they had going on. Of course, last time, she went with Kurama who dropped her off. This time, she’d be going alone, much like the first time, but this time it weighed heavily on her.

What was happening to her positive attitude?

The clock told her she didn’t have long to focus on that subject. She’d be there all day if she kept this up, and she really needed to get dressed. It was probably a bad idea to get undressed in front of the mirror. Botan wasn’t really happy with how she looked. Vanity had never been an issue for her in the past, but now she couldn’t get over not looking or feeling like herself.

Her lower abdomen was definitely rounding nicely, visible proof that a baby was growing and living inside of her. With her thin figure, it was much more pronounced. A soft smile graced her features, and she was relieved that today she wasn’t as bothered by it as other days. Her hand rested on the small bump, though her eyes landed on something else entirely.

Botan couldn’t help but notice that there were blue lines crisscrossing her chest and abdomen. Her eyes widened, full of anxiety. What were those? That couldn’t be healthy. She practically jumped on her book and sat on her bed in her undergarments. The panic she felt was sensed by the fire demon who slammed the door open moments later, calling his signature nickname for her only to meet eyes with a half-naked ferry girl. Botan’s eyes looked to him apprehensively, although Hiei was uncertain if it was due to her original anxiety or the fact that he was present in front of her in her state. He didn’t care to ask as he fled the scene in the blink of an eye. Botan’s door slammed behind him.

The ferry girl flinched at the sound but released a breath of relief. Truthfully, she had no idea what prompted Hiei to show up. His presence, even though they were barely on speaking terms, served to soothe her just because he provided a distraction from her panic, and now she felt calm enough to figure out what was wrong.

Moments later, nerves were settled, and she dressed and left the apartment. It turned out that those lines were normal, and they were more visible for her because she was thin and fair-skinned. All she was seeing was an expanded network of veins that would carry an increased supply of blood to nourish her baby. She had no idea or warning that that would happen, but now knowing that it was just a side effect of the pregnancy helped. Even the book encouraged her to see it as a badge of honor that would disappear once the baby was born and once she was done breastfeeding if she chose to do that. It was nothing to worry about. She was filled with peace once again.

For Hiei, however, it was not as simple as that. He was completely bothered from seeing the woman almost completely bare before him. It was no different than the night he took her, the urge to claim her fired inside of him. That shouldn’t have happened. One drunken night, fine, and even lingering thoughts he could handle, but feeling desire towards her again was not something the fire demon wanted or anticipated. It was all wrong. There was nothing between him and the ferry girl except one night of carnal passion, one mistake that led them both down this path. Nothing more could exist between them.

Needing a distraction from the unsettling dilemma, the fire demon reached for the only additional object in his room. It was that annoying book Kurama gave him to give him insight as to what the next nine months held in store for him. He hadn’t picked it up since the last time. Honestly, he couldn’t even process anymore of that type of talk in his current state. But it was a new week, and, according to the guide, it held new challenges to overcome. So far, everything was still completely trivial as long as he managed to keep silent. Avoiding the ferry girl aided in that endeavor.

Crimson eyes narrowed as they roved over the words. Hiei could not help but think that Kurama was playing some kind of prank on him with the sham of a novel. She’ll be going to the doctor regularly for checkups right up until she goes into labor, he read, sneering at the book’s suggestion. You’ll want to go with her to some, if not all, of these appointments. It’s good to go to act as moral support, which she’ll really appreciate, and also to understand the doctor’s instructions and ask whatever questions you may have. It will give you much-needed insight into the miraculous changes going on in her body. Best of all, it’s a chance to experience momentous milestones with her. Your life will change forever when you hear those first heartbeats inside her. So, mark your calendar.

He grimaced. This book clearly wasn’t meant for him or his situation. He cared little for these ‘milestones’ mentioned, and he did not have many questions. If he had any, the woman’s human doctor would be the last person he’d question. Moral support…what the hell even was that? Hiei had no morals. He had his complex honor code that currently entrapped him there, but that was all he’d ever have invested in this.

Your life will change forever when you hear those first heartbeats…

Badump!

His mind was instantly dragged back to the moment he arrived and grabbed the woman’s wrist, how the Jagan registered the small flutter of a beat. It had been the moment Hiei made the decision not to completely tell the ferry girl off, when his honor code came into play. That was the moment that Hiei was faced with the reality that there was another entity involved, a growing, living child that the woman would not be giving up.

Something stung deep inside Hiei at the thought of the woman stupidly and bravely putting her body through literal hell just to bear this child. She didn’t care about its origins or the circumstance. The ferry girl was actually doing a better job of adjusting to this matter she never asked for. A disturbing thought entered his mind. Her honor code seemed to rival his own.

“Gah!” he hissed as he chucked the book across the room at a wall. He didn’t want to think about any of this anymore. He needed a break. Maybe he could head to the border between words and alleviate his stress by killing some mischievous demons. They didn’t even have to be mischievous. He didn’t care right now. It had only been days and he was ready to burn this trap of a quarters to the ground.

Regrettably, he’d make it back by the time the woman would return. Great.

Botan sat in the waiting room, her ankles crossed and legs pulled under the chair. Her nerves were tightly wound, her hands folded together forcefully. She was trying to keep her anxiety at bay, but it wasn’t working. Of course, she hadn’t felt the same way she did when she got sick. There had been no episodes of intense sickness. She followed Hanako’s suggestions to a ‘T’ save giving Hiei a stern talking to. That was a last resort.

Her eyes drifted to other women and their partners waiting to be seen by the doctors. All of them looked happy and excited, and Botan sunk into her chair. She couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong with her. Sure, she was excited about the baby, but she felt so low. There had to be something she could do to bring herself out of her mental trap of anxiety. She wanted to look like those other expecting mothers. She wanted to be happy.

Her hand drifted down to her abdomen; her mind apologized to the child for feeling this way. It was only the tenth week of the pregnancy, and Botan was worried that these feelings were never going to go away. “Botan,” the nurse called, and Hanako appeared beside the woman smiling at Botan until she saw the look of complete and utter defeat. Hanako’s smile faltered, but she forced it back, walked over to the ferry girl, and extended her hand to assist her up. Botan looked up at her doctor curiously then to her outstretched hand, and eventually Botan grinned up at her obstetrician and took the woman’s hand. Hanako then led Botan into a room like last time, though they just sat and talked for a while.

Clearly, Botan wasn’t doing a good job in hiding her feelings for Hanako gently called her out on the depression. She explained to a shocked Botan that she could see the signs. When she looked at Botan, she could only see exhaustion and anxiety, and that wasn’t good for her or the baby. Botan tried not to react, but every time she was told that she felt like she was failing the child already, and her fears for after the baby was born intensified.

Hanako was kind, patient, and understanding, but Botan internally freaked out when the woman suggested she talk to someone about her anxiety and depression. It wasn’t that Botan was above talking about her problems, but who would she go to? There weren’t many people she could discuss her situation with let alone a therapist. She was pretty sure she’d be thrown into the looney bin if the term ferry girl or fire demon ever left her mouth. Without being able to explain the situation, she wouldn’t be able to get to the root of her problems. As for her friends, they would listen and be there for her, but she didn’t want to bother them with these little things that shouldn’t be dragging her down into the abyss. She couldn’t really talk to Hanako, either, not because she wouldn’t understand but because she didn’t want the woman to know Hiei was living with her and blame him for her moods. To be honest, he wasn’t the cause anymore. His actions were to be expected. Even if they didn’t help Botan, they didn’t make her feel all that much worse. She was already a mess. But she promised to think about it, nonetheless.

Well, at least she could confide in Hanako some of her worries like the fact that she didn’t think she’d be a good mother because of how she was failing now and that she knew nothing of taking care of a child. “Everyone feels that way the first time,” Hanako assured her. “I’ve never had a baby myself, but I’ve seen so many go through the same mental debate. Being a parent isn’t something you know. It’s something you learn. No one can truly prepare you for such a thing. Every child is different, and each parent learns something different from their experiences. Don’t worry about the future, not yet. For now, focus on the here and now, and right now you need to focus on keeping yourself relaxed. Take time for yourself to do activities that will soothe you. Light exercise is always good for your mood, but also maybe try something like yoga or meditation. I have heard from other women in your position that it helped.”

A slight smile graced Botan’s features. “That could work. My friend Keiko got me a yoga mat a while back, though not really for any specific reason. She knew I’d like the color. And I’m sure K—Shuichi would be willing to teach me about meditation. He’s good with stuff like that.”

“It’s good that you have a loving support system,” Hanako stated, her voice warm. “And like I said before, I’ll be here for you as well as much as you need. You aren’t just a patient. You’re also Shuichi’s sister in my eyes.”

Botan smirked at that, the woman accidentally slipped on something. “What does that matter? Do you like him?”

Hanako didn’t seem too startled by her questions, but her eyes did question Botan. Like Kurama would have said, Hanako stated, “He intrigues me.” Botan could see right through that and grinned. It seemed like her friend was about to have his own crazy love story, and she would definitely be happy to play the helpful voyeur again, just like she did for Yusuke and Keiko. “Now,” Hanako murmured, clearing her throat, “we should get this checkup started.”

So, the appointment continued, and Botan felt relieved when Hanako told her the baby looked okay. The doctor gave Botan her weekly dose of information. Botan couldn’t believe what was happening not only inside her, but inside her baby. Hanako explained that this was the time her baby’s bones and teeth would form, not to mention that some of its organs were starting to function like its stomach and kidneys. The woman advised Botan to get some sleep during the week for she would feel exhaustion as her baby continued to develop. He or she needed the nutrients to do so, especially vitamin D for the forming bones. To Botan’s dismay, Hanako warned her that her hormones would continue to be elevated, and that the ferry girl could become constipated. Blushing, Botan listened as Hanako told her to make sure she had plenty of fiber in the form of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Drinking a lot of water and exercise would help her feel good as well as move things along. She was to avoid foods like white bread, rice, and pasta. Apparently, that would make matters worse.

Later in the day, Botan got started on this new yoga endeavor. As her doctor said, moving around more would help keep her mood up and keep her body functioning properly. It was something she could learn and do on her own, and she found a program on television to help her do it. They even had tips for pregnant woman and yoga. She would have to keep the channel in mind.

Botan sat down on her mat, one leg folded and the other outstretched as she stretched to her side to stretch her hip. She then repeated on the other side before she reached out in front of her. Another pose they suggested was called the cat pose. It was supposed to alleviate back pains, but it made Botan feel awkward. She didn’t know how comfortable she felt with her rear in the air like that. As far as cat mimicry, she preferred her face above this.

That didn’t last long as she learned two more poses, two which were similar and made her feel better. In one, she stood with her legs in the shape of a triangle. She reached down with one arm on her ankle and the other arm shifted up straight above her. It felt great stretching the sides of her body while she worked her legs and eased tension on her hips and shoulders. That pose would probably be her friend. She was already starting to feel better.

The last pose she managed was different in a sense. The instructor said it required strong legs, which she knew she had, given all the times she had to run around the city chasing demons in the past. She bent one knee forward; the elbow of the arm stretched above her and moved to rest and balance her on her knee. The arm that was settled against her ankle glided above her and extended above her at an angle. She could feel her hips open up. A contented sigh escaped her, her eyes closed, but when she opened them, Hiei just entered the apartment.

Hiei was frozen, holding the door in his hand as his and Botan’s eyes met. Strange sensations threatened to consume him, and it only got worse when Botan offered him a smile. “Hello, Hiei,” she greeted, her voice light and airy.

The response she received was completely unexpected. Hiei disappeared from his spot in the blink of an eye as he sped out of the room. The door to his room slammed shut. Botan dropped out of her stance and gaped at the empty spot stunned. Reflecting on what just happened, Botan couldn’t help but think about the look of terror she saw in Hiei’s eyes. It didn’t make sense and confused her. Still, she wasn’t one to leave matters like that alone.

Botan took out a Tupperware container of stew she made, prepared a bowl for both herself and Hiei, and heated them up. While she waited for her dinner to cool, she took Hiei’s bowl to his room as sat it down on the floor and rested a pair of chopsticks on top of it. The woman took and deep breath and lightly knocked on the door. “Hiei?” she murmured quietly, though she knew the fire demon would hear her. “I…don’t know what just happened, but, if I did anything wrong, I’m sorry. I can’t think of what I could have done, so all I can say is that. I left some food for you out here. I hope you have a good night.”

Hiei listened as Botan walked away and retreated to the kitchen and then to her room for the night. The television in her room went on, and Hiei could hear the ramblings of some program through the wall. Knowing the ferry girl was settled in, he opened the door and saw the stew sitting on the floor in front of him. His stomach growled lightly, and he mentally cursed at his own weaknesses—all of them.

Swallowing down his nerves, he picked up the bowl, went back inside the bedroom, and quietly closed the door. He did not want to draw any more attention to himself or what he was thinking. Seeing the woman like that—stretching, hearing her soft moan—brought Hiei back to the place he kept fighting to revisit. His mind still tortured him from time to time with memories of his night with the ferry girl. It was starting to happen more often. Earlier, when he left her half-naked form, he needed to work off his frustrations by other means. It’s where he had been all day. He even stayed out longer than Botan’s appointment to avoid her for a while. When he thought he worked it out of his system, he was met with the sight of her in shorts and a tank top. His eyes roved over her beside his rational desires.

Hiei held back a growl as he shoved a chunk of beef into his mouth. He was reluctant to admit that he actually liked the meal. Angry, he shoved the bowl aside as he forced himself to stave off the desire to go to Botan’s room and initiate anything with her. His body grew hot with primal hunger. He heaved a heavy sigh of frustration before he decided to quickly finish off his meal. The stew did not help with the heat. After, he went to grab a shower—a cold one—just to impede the growing heat. He needed to figure out a better way to deal with his problems in the morning. For now, this was his only relief, but it did not rid him of thoughts of the ferry girl and the way her kind voice stroked his being. His control was slipping.

What was happening to him?

Chapter Text

It was a bright and shiny summer day, yet Botan still had a twinge of sadness in her heart. Hiei had been avoiding her completely since…whatever it was she did. Still, she kept pushing forward. The yoga helped give her energy. It was so strange how stretching could do that. In addition, Kurama came for a visit and taught her a little bit about meditation. It wasn’t like she really needed to sit with her legs folded and say ‘ohm’ like on the television. Really, she just needed to be at peace, clear her mind. She would go to her room and play some light instrumental music he selected for her and just lie down on her bed, her back firmly against the mattress. Then she’d close her eyes and just focus on the sounds of the beautiful woodwinds. Sometimes, her meditation would go even further, and she’d take a nap.

All in all, the week was going well for her, and she was starting to feel lighter. She only wished she could make things better for Hiei. He was really struggling with all this, wasn’t he?

A sigh escaped her lips as she finished her glass of milk to swallow down her prenatal vitamins. She took the dishes from her light breakfast and put them in the sink. Her heart went out to the fire demon. All of this was beyond his comfort level, and she really didn’t mean to upset him. She only wished she knew what she did wrong. Well, at least she knew he was eating. Every night she left him food, she’d find the dishes in the sink the next morning.

A knock on the door distracted Botan from her thoughts. She blinked in surprise and glanced at the wooden barrier. I wasn’t expecting anyone…

She went over to the door, looked out through the little viewing hole, and smiled. It was Yusuke. Immediately, she let him inside. “Well, this certainly is a surprise.”

Yusuke merely chuckled. “Yeah, well, I decided to take off work today,” he told her. “That’s the cool part about running my own food cart.”

“Aren’t your customers gonna be disappointed?” Botan asked in concern.

Her friend just waved her off. “Eh, I’ll be open tonight. Just thought I’d come visit one of my favorite girls.”

Botan laughed lightly, already feeling her mood pick up. “Oh, Yusuke. Always the charmer.”

“I try,” he teased. He sat down on her couch. “So, what’s new with you? Keiko said you had another appointment. Everything okay?”

Botan sat beside him. “Much better than it was,” she informed him. Her arms hugged her middle. “And this little one just keeps on growing and growing.”

“I still can’t wrap my mind around it,” Yusuke admitted. “I mean, I didn’t even think it was possible, not to mention the fact that Hiei’s your baby daddy.” Botan squealed in horror at the term and grabbed a pillow to smack the former detective. He let out a jocular ‘ow’ and laughed. “What?”

“Don’t ever say that again, Yusuke Urameshi!” Botan chided.

“Oh, come on,” Yusuke chuckled. “It’s not even like Hiei was here to hear it, nor would he even know what it means.”

“But I know what it means, and I don’t want you to say it,” Botan countered. She looked away and pouted. She knew Yusuke was being his usual goofy self, but after watching enough T.V. programs the last couple of weeks, that term just bothered her. It’s meaning definitely fit her situation—it meant the father of your child whom you did not marry or with whom you were not currently involved. The circumstances didn’t exactly bother her, but it just reminded her that she and Hiei thought completely differently about all of this and that it put a strain on their friendship. She still remembered how easy it was just being in each other’s presence at their get-togethers. A part of her really missed that.

Yusuke smiled warmly at her and put a hand on her shoulder. Even he could notice that something upset her. “Hey, I’m sorry,” he stated, voice soft. “If you don’t want me to say it again, I won’t. Still, it’s kind of funny when you think about it. So, where is the little guy?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Botan said sadly. “He’s been avoiding me these last couple of days, and I haven’t seen him at all.”

“How come?”

Botan shook her head. “I don’t know that either. I really don’t know what I did. He came home the other day while I was doing yoga and then shut himself in his room, and I haven’t seen him since.”

Yusuke’s eyes flickered with some knowing glint, and a grin graced his features. “Yoga, huh?”

“Yes, it’s supposed to help me with keeping my energy and mood up,” Botan explained. “Hanako suggested it.”

“Yeah, I hear stretching is good for health,” Yusuke simpered, his eyes dancing with mischief. “Tell me, has anything else happened, you know, between you and Hiei?”

Botan looked confused. “I don’t know what you mean. I mean, all that’s really happened was one night we watched T.V. together, but I think I scared him off with how mad I got at the women in those stupid soap operas lied to their partners about their pregnancies and faked DNA tests. It was just so wrong. He avoided me a while after that, too, but he at least came out for meals. I’ve been learning to cook and all. Although, that morning, I think I upset him too. I was getting dressed and I got really upset seeing another change in my body. He must have felt my panic and came to help me, but he stormed out of the room so quickly that I couldn’t ask why he came.”

“So, you were in the middle of getting dressed,” Yusuke stated, and Botan nodded. A chuckle escaped him which confused the ferry girl. He saw he concern and just shook his head. “Don’t worry about a thing, Botan. Hiei will be fine. He’s just a moody little bastard.”

“Yusuke,” Botan scolded, “that’s no way to talk about your teammate and friend!”

“It’s said in good spirits,” Yusuke retorted. “So, tell me what else is going on?”

Botan found it so easy to confide in Yusuke how low she had been feeling, and he listened with more patience than she ever expected. She had been so worried about talking to any in the group about her mood, worried that she’d trouble them or that they’d blame Hiei for her mood, but this was nice. She saw the three guys as brothers, and it was always easy to talk to them so openly. Of course, she hadn’t spoken to Kuwabara much about the pregnancy except when he asked, but that was mainly because he would try to protect her honor. Where she appreciated the sweet gesture, she didn’t really need it. Plus, she was worried it would make Hiei feel even worse than he did now.

“Sounds like you need to get out more,” Yusuke told her. “Come on, it’s the summer. You can go outside for walks, swimming, out to a movie. It’s not like you have to be a prisoner to be pregnant.”

Botan’s eyes widened before a smile graced her features. To be honest, she did feel trapped lately, and it never occurred to her to go anywhere. Although she was happy to have a baby, she had been acting as if she had to stay inside and away from everyone. Maybe it was still some lingering feeling of needing to keep the baby’s father’s identity a hidden secret, or maybe she was used to being confined in Spirit World. “You know what, you’re right!” she chimed. “But I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, we could always go to the arcade,” Yusuke suggested. He met Botan’s skeptical eyes. He grinned and held up his hands. With a chuckle, he added, “Only if you want to, though. Or for ice cream. Ice cream is good. Anything to take your mind off of stuff.”

“Make it both and you’ve got a deal,” Botan negotiated.

“Both it is!”

“Though, I don’t know if I should have ice cream. It’s not healthy.”

“Eh, but there’s whole milk, and you need that vitamin D.” Yusuke paled when the words left his mouth. Red dusted his cheeks as Botan beamed at him. “I mean—”

“So, Keiko just mentioned the appointment, huh?” Botan teased knowingly. “When you asked if everything was okay, you knew. You came to see me anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yusuke grumbled. “Don’t read too much into it. I still have a reputation to uphold.”

“That reputation died when Puu hatched out of the egg.”

A heatless glare was flashed her way. “You know, you’re lucky you’re pregnant or else we would have had a repeat of that day.” Botan stuck out her tongue in response.

Hiei was training in the deepest, darkest part of the park. It was where he disappeared to every day as he struggled with his own desires. Even though he successfully avoided the ferry girl, he still felt very keyed up playing house with the woman with these traitorous thoughts of yearning. Even when he slept, he could not escape the ache of hunger. His dreams had been very animated the past week; his mind portrayed him and the ferry girl in many compromising positions. The worst part was he couldn’t deny the fact that he lusted after her. He was tired of it. He did not want anything with that woman. And then he would be faced with her sad eyes that flickered with hope every time she looked at him as if he could do or be more, and it both sickened him and made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t believe in that unspoken promise.

He still had a responsibility to her and decided to check in to see how she was doing. The fire demon expected to find her at home as per usual, but she wasn’t there. Instead, she was out with the detective, and she seemed to be in better spirits. Well, that was good. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about her mood much anymore. He was ready to close the connection when Botan excused herself to the ladies’ room and pressed her back against the door. The woman felt sadness once again. There was no clear reason, but he couldn’t help but feel that he unwittingly played a role. He severed the connection, but had he stayed linked to her for a moment longer, he would have sensed her mood improve. Botan logically assumed it to be the start of those mood swings.

The following week, Botan found the exhaustion returning and well as crazy hunger. According to her book, the baby was developing more and more, growing in size as well as fostering distinct human features such as hands, feet, ears, nose, etc. He or she was losing that webbing between fingers and toes. It was pretty incredible. Botan wished she could see just what exactly was happening inside her body.

At least her appetite returned meaning she was losing that horrible symptom of morning sickness. She still had to focus on eating the most nutritious foods, though she splurged a lot when Yusuke took her out for ice cream. She even went to his food cart that night for dinner. Getting out like he suggested really helped her mood. Of course, she was starting to have those mood swings. It wasn’t so bad yet, but she found herself crying over nothing a few times. She really hoped she hadn’t woken Hiei up with her weeping when it happened.

That wasn’t all that was happening. Her body was developing the placenta now, and because of that she found herself sitting and lying down for hours during the day. It was strange to feel like she was overworked when she hardly did anything in a day, but it was normal, and she still found the energy to go for short walks and do her yoga. She made sure to eat a lot of snacks full of protein and complex carbs. Those cheese and cracker packs Kurama got her were becoming her favorite. The dried fruit and nuts were good too. She was going to need to get more of that soon.

Botan was finally taking cues from her body. When she felt a small spurt of energy, she took advantage of it and cooked food for herself and Hiei for the day. They had quite a bit of leftovers. When she felt drained, she grabbed a water on her way to the couch and took small naps. When she woke up, she’d go for a walk or stretch, and then she’d grab dinner and a shower. Before her shower, she would leave food out for Hiei. After the shower, she’d wash the few dishes in the sink and then go to lie down in her room and read a book or watch television. She truly felt like she was starting to get this, despite the bloated feeling and gas she had. That was really unpleasant.

Hiei still avoided the ferry girl as much as possible, but he was not unaware of her. Each night was becoming more unbearable for him. She would still leave him food each night, go out of her way to look after him and show that she cared. That was all wrong. It left him feeling perturbed. For years, he had the memories of his people damning him, calling him a cursed child, a flame that needed to be snuffed out, and he accepted that role, but defied his birthright at every turn. He was not bothered by those maidens. Their words meant nothing to him, not anymore. They were dead on the inside, cowards that shied away from emotion and the real world. Still, he accepted that he did not need or want love or affection. He did not need to be tended to.

Yet every night he saw the plate of food, utensils, and a drink, his stomach did flips that were not from hunger.

Part of Hiei hoped that eventually the woman would take the hint that he did not want her attention or to interact with her, that she would get fed up and give up this pointless endeavor. Nonetheless, she had not gone one night without her inclination of feeding him. Why? Why did she still persist?

Later in the evenings, Hiei was privy to her horrible wailing, and he was fairly certain his behavior had caused it. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He didn’t want to; however, he still felt an alarming sensation in his core when the sobbing went on for more than a few minutes. What the hell had her this upset? It wasn’t like when he gave her his opinion on their offspring. She wasn’t retreating within herself. So why was she crying so extensively every night?

The only answers he got from the book for this week were about something called a ‘placenta’ forming and her incredible exhaustion. It irritated him that this guide was recommending the father help with the chores to allow her some rest. Hiei scoffed in derision. Who did these writers think they were? He didn’t need her thanks as it so mentioned. A distressing thought hit him. But it might be nice. No, he wasn’t going to stoop to that level. That was beyond his duty to her and their agreement.

With his meal eaten for the night, Hiei ventured out of the room as per usual to deposit his dishes in the sink. Unlike any other night, the woman was sitting at the kitchen island reading a book and nursing a cup of tea. She had yet to realize his presence. He was paralyzed in place. This was getting ridiculous. His pride finally caught up to him and forced him to take steps further into the kitchen. He was Hiei, ruthless thief and second-in-command of Mukuro’s army. He refused to be a slave to something as pathetic as the blasted ferry girl’s mere presence.

Botan noticed movement in the corner of her eye and jumped. Startled, she glanced over to see Hiei bring his dishes to the sink. Not able to contain her smile, Botan hid behind her book, a romance novel Keiko leant her. Even the tantalizing story hadn’t been able to distract her from her unbridled joy. It was the first time she was seeing Hiei in a while and he was doing something so helpful too.

Her joy instantly dissipated yielding to embarrassment as her body released the foulest of sounds.

She slammed the book down, eyes wide and cheeks red, and stared at the fire demon in shame. He turned around only to stare at her with a quirked brow. That only served to humiliate her further. Why was he looking at her like that?

“Woman, why—”

“I-I-I’m sorry!” she stammered, mortified as tears came to her eyes. “It’s just…it’s a symptom.”

Hiei’s brows furrowed. “What are you going on about, and why are you as red as Kurama’s hair? And why in the three worlds do you look like a gagging fish?”

All very good questions, yet Botan had the strange notion that Hiei should already know the answer. “I-it’s embarrassing,” Botan filled in, her voice a whine, and Hiei’s expression softened into one of indifference.

“It’s a normal bodily function that occurs without prompting,” he retorted, confusion in his eyes. “Are you telling me that humans actually feel shame over a vital bodily function?”

Her blush intensified. “But…it…it smells!” she tried to counter.

At that, Hiei couldn’t help but chuckle. Tension eased from his shoulders. “Nothing compared to Demon World,” he reminded her. “A land where weakling humans could die from being exposed to the air for too long.”

“Oh, right!” Botan chimed, the crying ceasing almost immediately, as if she had suddenly just remembered that. She laughed awkwardly. “I guess when you put it that way…”

“You would do well to forget about the ill-conceived notions of these humans,” Hiei hissed, devoid of humor. “Your tears are wasted, as they are every night.”

Botan frowned in shame and sighed. “So…you did hear…”

“Our rooms are adjacent to one another with paper-thin walls and your shrieks aren’t that quiet,” he remarked irritably. “Whatever it is I did, get over it. I refuse to apologize.”

At that, Botan blinked at Hiei, and he suddenly felt like he was on display. “Oh, Hiei…it wasn’t because of you,” she assured him. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Hiei didn’t dignify that with an answer. He refused to acknowledge that that wasn’t his reasoning for keeping himself away. “It’s another pesky side effect of the pregnancy. Mood swings. It’s caused by the changes in my hormones. One minute I could be fine and happy, the next sad or even enraged. It kind of flared up sometime last week when Yusuke came to visit. I was just feeling completely overwhelmed out of nowhere, for no reason at all. It’s completely normal.”

So that was why she appeared to be so sullen when she left the company of the detective. That certainly explained her behavior as of late. With nothing else to be said between them, Botan returned to her book, but the overpowering sensation of exhaustion came over her quickly and threatened to drag her down. A yawn escaped her, and she stretched her arms above her head with a satisfied sigh. “Well, I think it’s time for me to hit the hay,” she stated, Hiei’s brow once again quirked at the unknown euphemism. Her hand rested against her stomach and rubbed it lovingly; amethyst eyes sparkled with gladness. They met his, and once again Hiei felt paralyzed and yet strangely at ease. “This little one is taking up a lot of energy. He or she is growing up.”

That bright, beaming smile did little to quell the uneasiness in Hiei’s mind, yet his outer body seemed placated. The burning desire that usually caused him a night of self-loathing and anger did not return. He should have found that more unsettling than the physical need for her, yet he was reminded of times in the past—times where he was entrapped into attending events and the two would end up spending time together since they both avoided alcohol at all costs. Even then, she’d try to engage him, and he felt comfortable enough to react with nods and tolerate her presence. For a second, it was nice.

And then that thought sobered Hiei once again.

“Anyway, have a good night, and don’t you worry about me,” the ferry girl murmured softly. “I’m doing just fine.”

Botan closed her book and made her way to the room, leaving the book and mug behind on the island. Surprisingly, the woman always managed to keep the apartment in order, maybe because of her structured life in Spirit World, and she hardly ever left anything out of place. Hiei’s body moved on its own accord; his hand reached for the mug. He scoffed at himself but did not halt in his actions. Instead, he gave in and moved to put the cup in the sink, holding back his desire to toss the thing in. Then, Hiei returned to his room and tried to ignore the pit in his stomach at the hideous idea that he had taken the advice of that human book. No, it wasn’t that. The object was just jarring and irritated him, so Hiei needed to remove it. He was not taking part in this. He would never take part in this. Hiei raced off to his room and quickly shut the door, regrettably mindful not to let it slam and wake the woman.

Crap, he was becoming soft…

Chapter Text

Botan couldn’t believe that she was quickly approaching her second trimester. In two weeks, marked on her calendar as ‘Week 14’, she would hit that mark, and that was exciting. In the beginning, she didn’t know if she would be able to handle the pregnancy, especially when she got so sick, but now she had fallen into a rhythm. She felt accomplished.

According to the literature, her baby doubled in size over the course of the past three weeks. Botan didn’t look or feel any different, so it was hard to believe, but many things couldn’t be explained, like how a ferry girl could be having a demon’s baby. She giggled as she thought about it; an idea that others would scoff at brought her joy.

This was a big week for her baby, a week when its systems were becoming more developed, especially its digestive system. During the course of the next twenty-eight weeks, her baby’s systems would mature further and start making the organs do work. His or her bone marrow was starting to make white blood cells so that the child would one day stave off infections, and the pituitary gland at the base of the brain was starting to become active. It was just so amazing to read about the journey her little fetus was making with her. The human body was nothing short of amazing.

She was also feeling a little better not having to run to the bathroom all the time even when drinking small amounts of water. Her fatigue was starting to leave her as well as the nausea which came as a huge relief. Even her food aversions were starting to bother her little, and she no longer had to worry about the awkward symptom of sensitive, tender breasts. She was starting to feel a bit more human again, but to overcome all of the bad there was another problem that was affecting her so drastically. Dizziness.

Basically, progesterone was increasing the size of her blood vessels to increase the flow to her baby; however, it slowly returned to her other organs. Her blood pressure was low, and blood flow to her brain slowed. She felt light-headed when she got up too quickly, and she was loathe to admit that she had almost stumbled a few times during the week. Even if she wasn’t tired, she found herself staying still quite often. A good tip that Shiori’s book had given her was to lie down when she felt dizzy or faint and to sit with her head lowered between her knees. She was to take deep breaths and loosen any clothing—she chose to wear loose clothing anyway after reading that—and then get food and water when she felt better. So far, she was beating it.

And then one day, she was consumed by lightheadedness and fell over, yet she never hit the ground.

Botan tilted her head and regarded her savior with hazy amethyst eyes. “H-Hiei?” she whispered faintly. The fire demon’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you were out.”

“I was,” he remarked, his voice dark and comforting. “You’re lucky I was here. You could have hurt yourself.”

“I know,” she replied, breathless. “Thank you. I…I didn’t think the dizzy spells would get this bad.”

“You need rest,” Hiei responded, using his free hand wrapped around her torso to gently stroke her cheek before it rose to stroke her hair. Botan couldn’t help but close her eyes and moan, leaning into the touch. She whispered his name again, his eyes dark with something that she didn’t recognize yet seemed familiar. Desire? Hunger? No, lust, pure and simple. He wanted her. As he leaned in, Botan could feel herself surrendering to his pleasant touch and—

An alarm went off, and Botan yelped, practically falling out of the bed. She gasped, trying to catch her breath after such a heated dream. Her heart hammered in her chest that her hand reached up hoping to quell it. This wasn’t the first night of the week where she had a dream like that, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last. Good lord, she felt like she was on fire.

Truthfully, she did stumble the other day, and Hiei caught her, and all that had happened was that he told her to be more careful and then disappeared, but the feeling of his fingers on her, his arms embracing her, had been so engraved into her memory, and her mind conjured up the craziest dreams she had ever had. She knew what was going on, and it was another symptom of the pregnancy that both left her feeling pleased and guilty. Botan had increased sex drive.

Apparently, that didn’t happen to all women, but her friends and even the doctor had warned her about it. It had been embarrassing to hear Hanako, a woman who seemed as calculating as Kurama, talking about sex so casually. Maybe it was because she was just stating a fact. Either way, Botan was mortified, and she had assured her doctor that she didn’t feel that way at all. And then she returned home, dizzy as she entered the apartment, and Hiei just happened to be nearby as she took a fall. He had been so kind to her in that moment, his voice surprisingly soft. She was about to explain what caused her to stumble, but he simply handed her the glass of water he must have retrieved for himself as if he had known and left her alone. A smile graced her features at the thought of his consideration. The fire demon really wasn’t all that bad.

And despite her respect for the man, she was having these horrible, wonderful dreams about them together. Her conscience and body were warring with each other. How could she impose this on his soul? How could she lust after him when he clearly just wanted to get her through this ordeal and walk away? It wasn’t fair to either of them.

Her only reprieve was the cool water of the shower as she washed her hair. She hadn’t been taking hot showers lately for it only served to make her dizzier, and she did not want to fall in the tub. She avoided certain scents that she usually used to relax and used refreshing coconut scents and cucumber melon. It was summer after all, and it was very refreshing and helped her cool herself down. Like every other symptom, she just had to wait this one out. It would go away, right? The book hadn’t been clear on that. In fact it had warned her she may not have those kinds of feelings, and then her hormones could act like a bucket of ice water. Mm, that sounded good right about now. Well, everyone was telling her that all women were different.

Thankfully, Botan had Keiko and Shizuru coming over for the day. No, they weren’t privy to her dilemma. No one was. She just really needed some girl time, a distraction from the growing heat inside of her. She could only hope that she had the strength to repress these desires. Hiei did not need any of that. He was already doing more than enough just by being there in the shadows giving his support when needed. He really was a swell guy, just as she always believed.

“Hey, Blue,” Shizuru greeted as she and Keiko entered the apartment. “How are you feeling today?”

Botan blushed, but it went unnoticed before she forced a smile and said, “Well, I haven’t had those dizzy spells for the day yet, so here’s hoping.”

“Have you been eating snacks throughout the day like Kurama and Hanako kept suggesting?” Keiko questioned. Botan nodded in response, and the brunette smiled. “Well, that’s good. That should help with your blood sugar.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Botan pondered, a finger to her chin before her attention shifted. “In any case, what’s on the agenda today?”

Shizuru placed a bag on Botan’s table and a couple containers of food. Botan’s eyes widened, and looked to Shizuru warily. “Since you’re always trying to cook for us now, we thought we’d give you a break. Keiko and I prepared a couple sushi rolls, one that’s all for you. It’s braised beef, rare, so that should be good enough for the baby. Also, I know it’s not really doctor approved, but we have a whole container of chocolate chip cookies. Perfect for our movie marathon.”

Hearing all of the food her friends worked so hard to prepare had Botan’s stomach rumbling in hunger. Her face flushed red as her body tensed. How embarrassing… she thought to herself.

Keiko couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sounds like the little one has decided how we do this. Shizuru, bring the food in here, and I’ll get us some drinks. We can eat in here while we watch the movie.”

“You girls don’t have to do tha—”

“Save it, Blue,” Shizuru chided and pointed into the living room. “You go sit down and rest. Let someone take care of you for a change.”

Botan was about to protest, but one look from Shizuru had her giving in. After all, maybe Shizuru was right. She was always trying to take care of all the members of the group, and soon she would have a little one to tend to. Maybe she should let someone dote on her despite the uncomfortable way her chest constricted in guilt. Why did she always feel guilt when others tried to assist her?

She decided not to dwell on those thoughts and instead lied her head back on the couch. A quick flash of dizziness washed over her, but it wasn’t so bad this time. Thankfully, Shizuru came with that delectable beef roll. That was good.

Now that your partner is twelve weeks pregnant, you may be noticing that sexual desire, yours and hers, will be up and down. Hiei practiced a series of kicks as he recalled the words of his weekly guide, words that taunted his mind so many times during the day. Some women are in the mood throughout the nine months, others find that it doesn’t start until the second trimester or that desire dips in the third. Until then, try to focus less on the quantity of sex and more on the quality of intimacy you’re sharing. You might even find that stepping up the hand-holding, the unexpected hugs, and the confiding of your feelings might put you both in the mood for lovemaking.

He couldn’t help but scoff at the memories of reading that garbage and pushed himself to slice a tree repeatedly and swiftly with his blade. How could humans talk so casually about sex? The book even had the nerve to imply his own sex drive possibly took a plunge due to ‘all the changes’ they were both apparently going through. Hiei didn’t know what changes they could possibly mean for him or the woman, but they hadn’t changed at all. In fact, Hiei was still avoiding her as much as possible, though their paths still crossed from time to time. His intense feelings for her and libido were still present much to his chagrin. This book clearly didn’t apply to demon pregnancies. The ‘emotional and physical changes of pregnancy’ would not give a boost to his already strong desires for the woman, desires he was trying to ignore. And how dare it suggest to become an overemotional fool in place of physically acting upon desires. He would never stoop so low.

“What did that tree ever do to you?”

Hiei’s lip curled back in a sneer. What was the oaf doing there, interrupting his training, his designated alone time? He was certain the human had a death wish. “What do you want?”

Kuwabara nervously rubbed the back of his neck before releasing a sigh. “Well, I was walking around here with some friends and sensed your aura. It’s disturbed, more so than usual, so I came to check up on you. You doing okay? What about the baby and Botan?”

“The woman is fine,” Hiei bit out immediately, hoping that would satiate Kuwabara’s curiosity and send him on his way. There was no reason for the redhead to feign concern for him. The psychic made it very clear how he felt the day he learned that Hiei was partly responsible for the child’s conception. He was not thrilled with Hiei or his actions.

“And you? Are you okay?”

Hiei growled at the human, teeth clenched in anger before he bit out. “Don’t bother. I heard the way you spoke when you learned I was the brat’s father. You were as displeased as I was, so let’s not pretend you give a damn about what I’m feeling.”

Kuwabara actually looked apologetic. “Listen, Hiei, I was in shock,” he explained while Hiei sheathed his katana. “You can’t blame me. I never expected you to go for Botan, drunk or not. You two are just so different, but I guess it makes sense. The whole opposites attract thing.”

Hiei’s eyes nearly bugged before he heatedly glared at the human. “Never say that again,” he ordered. “I do not wish to discuss any of this, least of all with you.”

“Look, I can help you,” Kuwabara offered. “I know you’d probably deny you need help, but everyone freaks out about being a father.”

“I’m not ‘freaked out’ you buffoo—”

“And this isn’t exactly a conventional situation,” the psychic continued. “So there’s a lot probably going on that wanders into unfamiliar territory with you. I know I put pressure on you, and that was wrong of me…”

“Tch,” Hiei scoffed, crossed his arms, and looked away to a spot on the ground.

“Just focus on one moment at a time,” Kuwabara suggested. “Get to know her and everything going on. Don’t put pressure on yourself or else everything will stress you out. Maybe even tell her what’s going on in your mind.”

“I’m not a pathetic human fool!” Hiei snapped. Memories of what he read hit him hard once again. Kuwabara’s eyes widened, surprised by the outburst. “Don’t coddle me. I’m not like you.”

“Well, yeah, because I wouldn’t be in this situation,” Kuwabara informed him. Hiei was about to say something in retort about the judgmental remark, but Kuwabara added something that clearly bothered the fire demon and silenced him. “If something like this happened between Yukina and me, I would go through it all with her, focus on her and the babies, and just enjoy the experience. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“Babies?” Hiei hissed, not sure he heard right.

Kuwabara felt awkward that he let it slip. “Yeah, Yukina told me about her race and how they have babies. I know it’s possible for her to have twins if we…but we don’t have to worry about stuff like that right now. She’s still figuring out how she feels. She just felt it best to warn me after the night she got plastered…” Hiei couldn’t believe that Yukina had spoken of their heritage with the human…or that it was even a possibility. His mind could not compute this. “Anyway, back to you. Just be with her. You don’t have to handle whatever it is you’re feeling alone. I could sense your moodiness from over a mile away.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted in response. “Do not pretend to know what I need. I thought we were clear on that.”

“Sometimes we don’t know what we need,” Kuwabara inserted. “Sometimes we need our friends to bring us back to reality.”

“Hn, fool, we are not friends.”

Kuwabara grinned. “Keep telling yourself that, but you haven’t killed me yet and you let me say all this stuff to you.” Hiei looked quite aggravated when he pointed it out. “I guess I should head out now, but seriously Hiei, just experience this. Maybe it’ll change how you feel about everything.”

Kuwabara left him alone, yet his words stuck with Hiei in ways that the fire demon could not understand. Why was everyone and everything suggesting he do something so completely out of his character? Why did Kuwabara sound like the blasted book minus the sex talk? And why oh why did every human and even the ferry girl want him to talk about he was feeling? He made it very clear that he viewed the child as a mistake, that he did not want the child.

Unwanted…

That word left a bitter taste in Hiei’s mouth, and he realized that he did not like describing the child in such a manner. He had an inkling as to why it bothered him, but that made no sense to him. He had long been over his past; the situation hardly affected him. In any case, he guessed he couldn’t call the child unwanted for the woman clearly wanted it, and wasn’t that enough?

Badump!

Hiei flinched. Even though weeks had passed, he couldn’t get the flutter that registered in his mind out of his head. He didn’t care. The child was a mistake that shouldn’t exist. He or she was unwanted by its father. Still, Hiei was around. Yes, it was because of his complex honor code, but he was assisting the woman to make sure she was safe until she came to term. If the child was a mistake, why was Hiei helping to bring this child into existence? If it was unwanted, why did Hiei feel this sinking feeling any time he pictured a child of his being raised by the softest beings he had ever come to know? And if he didn’t care, why was he still thinking about that heartbeat?

Why was he still there? Deep down, he knew the answer, and he was not ready to accept it, not yet.

For now, maybe he didn’t have to. Despite his abhorrence for his human comrade, maybe he needed to stop asking himself questions and just be. Or maybe he was just being pathetic and needed to resume his training. The second option sounded better, familiar. Familiar was good.

Botan felt flushed and hot as she watched movies with Keiko and Shizuru. Of course, she never had a problem with romance movies and always enjoyed them. Relationships fascinated her which is why she focused so much on Yusuke and Keiko during the Dark Tournament. She had no idea what would happen to her friends, and it was exciting. Likewise, she was always supportive, despite her occasional teasing of Kuwabara, of his and the ice maiden’s budding relationship. What they shared was so simple and pure, and they were so happy.

That was all Botan ever saw in relationships, the pure emotion and happiness. Lately, though, her mind was only on one aspect of the relationship and she knew that wasn’t right. As she watched the movies, her eyes were focused on the ways the couples touched one another, kissed one another, and felt one another. She couldn’t help but think of how nice it would be to feel hands gliding down her sides to her hips, thumbs gently stroking her hipbone.

She blushed at the uncouth thought. Why did these hormones have to send her mind into the gutter? Even without the movie’s prompting, Botan couldn’t escape it. She quietly excused herself, needing to get away, to hide her shame. Her eyes went to the kitchen, and she went to get herself a glass of ice water. As she took a large gulp of the liquid, she started her trek to the bathroom, intending to splash herself with some cold water from the sink.

It didn’t help.

The heat of her skin was unbearable, and Botan debated on whether or not she should get out of her clothes, just for a little while. She just felt so stifled, and she couldn’t stop it. Tears of frustration with the heat and with herself started to fall. She tried to clean herself up before leaving the room but, the second she turned to leave the bathroom, she ran directly into Hiei. He appeared to be surprised, probably taking note of her tears that were now falling freely. The fire demon eyed her strangely, and Botan wondered if he figured out her horrible feelings and thoughts. His arms crossed in front of his chest, his muscles rippling as he did so. Botan was reminded of all her dreams, dreams of Hiei making her feel good. She swallowed, then rushed away from him, and practically ran to her room.

Hiei unknowingly sighed and looked back towards Botan’s room. He had been planning to take a shower after his intense workout, but the woman’s crying distracted him. She appeared so distressed and hurt. It was not simply mood swings, not this time.

It was the first time he acted upon the desire to go to her. He told himself that he would only check on her this once. He found her sitting on the floor, her legs curled under her and her face buried against the bed as she sobbed. Hiei cringed at this pitiful sight. He didn’t know what else to do except be himself.

“What the hell has you blubbering?” he questioned, voice smooth and calculated. Botan’s head shot up and she gasped. She nervously looked at him. She never looked at him like that, fear mixed with guilt. It left him feeling unsettled, and, unware, he reached out for her. His fingertips brushed the skin of her arm, and Botan swiftly pushed him away. It wasn’t what he was expecting, and so he ended up on the ground with her. He grew angry and shouted at the ferry girl. “What is your problem?” Immediately, he regretted it when Botan drew back and her eyes filled with tears. Something was really, really wrong. His brow furrowed in confusion and, surprisingly, concern. She looked so sad and scared. He decided to clam up and wait for the woman to speak.

Instead, she began to wail loudly, and Hiei was paralyzed. Her fists went up to try to brush her tears away, but the liquid continued to pour down her face. Hiei hated it when women cried, and it was even worse because he did something that prompted her howls. He swallowed thickly. He did this. And, this time, he needed to fix it. “What’s wrong?” he questioned, his voice a few tones lower and meek. Damn, he didn’t even sound like himself in this situation.

Botan answered with something that stumped Hiei. “I’m a monster!” she whined as her body wracked with sobs.

You’ve got to be kidding.

The demon released a disbelieving chuckle. “Why in the world would you think that?” There was no way they were actually having this conversation.

Botan’s watery, light purple eyes met his, and they were filled with so much guilt. Clearly, she really did believe her statement, and Hiei wanted to know why. “I…I’m sorry,” she whispered weakly, and Hiei was once again struck with confusion. Why was she apologizing to him? “I…something isn’t right with me,” she admitted, “and it’s making me have dreams and…desires. I don’t mean to subject you to them, and I shouldn’t even be telling you. It’s not fair to you that I’m having thoughts…thoughts of…of sex, with you.” Hiei’s eyes widened before his expression softened. She closed her eyes and cast her head down, defeated. And then she looked up to meet his gaze, so much anger held in her eyes, misplaced anger towards herself. “It’s not fair to you that I’m thinking of you that way when you want nothing to do with me!”

As she voiced those words, she curled up and hid herself against her knees, her back towards him. She continued to cry even harder in her fetal position. Hiei could not believe that this woman, this woman who was nothing but pure, thought herself so horrible to have physical feelings towards him. He felt a pull towards her, his stomach in knots, and all he wanted was for this women to stop crying already! He needed to think!

Botan’s head shot up as she felt a warm body appear behind her, pressed against her back. Hiei sat directly behind her, form tense, his legs spread at either side of her and his arms wrapped around her figure. She tried to look back to gage Hiei’s reaction and saw that his eyes were wide and vulnerable. His gaze was fixated on the wall. “You are not a monster,” he told her. “But if that is your definition of a monster, then we are both there.”

“W-what?” Botan stammered. She sniffled and wiped her tears away.

Hiei’s head dropped. He knew the implications of what he was about to do, but he couldn’t handle another minute of this woman screaming out her pain when she did not deserve it. “Your desires are not one-sided, woman.” He could tell she didn’t understand. Reluctantly, he breathed out the truth. “I cannot get that one night out of my head, and lately it has been driving me crazy. It’s the reason I have been avoiding you.”

Botan took in his words, but they only served to make her feel worse. “I…I can’t remember that night. That’s even more of an insult to you!”

“It’s not,” he assured her, his eyes closed, unable to look directly at her. “You were drunk. I was. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. I am not insulted that you can’t remember.” Memories of her moans surfaced, and his grip on the ferry girl tightened while she remained ignorant of that fact.

Though he had given her that answer, Botan still wasn’t satisfied with it. In her mind, she had been picturing things, immoral things, and, considering that she and Hiei were in two different places, it never occurred to her that Hiei could feel the same way. What did he feel? He couldn’t get the night they were together out of his head, but was that bad? Timidly, Botan asked a question that jolted Hiei to his core and stunned him.

“W-was it…good?”

Hiei was silent for a moment, considering how to answer that question. He had been trying to bury his desires deep within him, and yet he had failed. Botan needed something right now, anything to reassure her and make her feel like she wasn’t alone. This transgression belonged to both of them, and maybe it was time to finally, regrettably, accept it.

“It was amazing,” he whispered in her ear. His response caused a sheepish smile to appear on the woman’s face. She nuzzled against him, actually cuddled him, wrapping her arms around his that were linked over her belly. Hiei was still as stiff as a board, but Botan finally relaxed against him. His hands were shaky beneath hers, and his grip tightened around her once again. She was so…soft. Her skin felt like silk against his, and that knowledge brought him a peace he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not for the first time, he could only wonder what was happening.

Meanwhile, Botan felt better, her mood improved and her conscience clear. Even though they weren’t really doing anything—Hiei simply held her—she felt at peace and the heat left her. His warmth lulled her to sleep. She was starting to feel really tired again after her emotional meltdown.

Hiei was still frozen underneath her, his grip tight, and he felt his desire for her increasing. Mentally, he tried to calm down and felt a strange presence in his mind thanks to the Jagan. Recognition flashed in his mind. It was the child. Something about the presence soothed him, the feeling of tranquility washed over him. His eyes closed along with the woman, and his head rested against hers. He followed her into slumber soon after.

It had been a very long time since Botan excused herself, and Shizuru and Keiko were getting worried. They decided to look around the apartment for Botan only to go towards her room. Two pairs of brown eyes widened when they found Botan and Hiei asleep together, lying against the side of her bed. The fire demon’s hand was settled on their friend’s waist, his other arm propped on the mattress. Botan was snuggled comfortable against his chest, her hands folded together under her head.

While Shizuru seemed indifferent, she felt as baffled as Keiko appeared. The older woman signaled to the other that it was time to leave. They put the remainder of the food in the fridge and gathered their movies, both silent, and then they locked up leaving the couple alone.

Outside, Shizuru took out a cigarette and lit it. She took in a drag and breathed out the smoke. It served to bring her levelheadedness back to the forefront. “You know we can’t tell the guys about this, right?”

Keiko nodded, agreeing. She knew if they brought it to the attention of the others, the guys would be merciless in their teasing. It was best for Hiei and Botan to nourish whatever flame was growing between them. “I won’t say anything. If they’re going to find out, they’ll find out on their own.”

“Still, it’s quite ironic,” Shizuru interjected, her tone light.

“What is?”

“We just saw an angel in the arms of a demon.”

Chapter Text

Agitated was a kind word for describing how Hiei felt after his last encounter with Botan. Once again, he had drawn back, not able to face her after their shared closeness. Hiei remembered waking up on the floor feeling like he had slept in the best conditions for a week, the sweet smell of coconuts reaching his sensitive nose. He shivered as the memory returned to him. Botan slept against him, looked so innocent and relaxed as if she hadn’t entered the lion’s den. That would be the best comparison. She had no idea just how much his blood boiled upon feeling her curves pressed up against him, the soft, breathy snores music to his desires. He almost acted upon it, too. And worse, it took everything he had to pull away, because now he knew that the ferry girl wanted it too.

His eyes shot open, alarmed as he lunged towards a tree, yelled out his frustrations, and began his vicious assault. Two voices interrupted his session.

“See, I told you. Every time I see him, he’s destroying trees.”

“Yes, I see. Whatever could be the matter, Hiei?”

He turned to see the two most meddlesome redheads he ever had the displeasure of knowing. “Fox. Oaf. What do you want?”

“Considering you’re having another hissy fit, I think the answer’s obvious,” Kuwabara stated. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Talking…again? He was in this situation because of talking already. His conversation with the oaf, and then with the woman…Hiei was done talking!

“Just leave,” the fire demon growled. “That’s your only warning.”

“Now, Hiei,” Kurama chided, “it’s all right. We’re all friends here.”

“Fox, I swear I’ll—”

“How about this question. How are you doing?” Hiei scoffed and hardly gave a committal answer to them.

Kuwabara sensed something different about Hiei. He was still highly agitated, but he didn’t sense the same level of hatred and bitterness he detected from the fire demon last time. In fact, something about him felt settled, as if he was coming to terms with his situation with Botan. Even his angered expression looked heatless. To be honest, it appeared that fire demon was pouting and trying to hide an uneasy feeling. Kuwabara was no fool, especially when it came to his spirit sense and matters of the heart. “Did something happen with Botan?” he blurted out, questioning more forcefully. He observed Hiei intently knowing that any detail would help him decipher his teammate. When the apparition’s crimson eyes widened, and an exasperated sneer graced his features, both Kuwabara and Kurama knew the human psychic hit the nail on the head.

“Go to—”

“Hiei,” Kurama interrupted before the fire demon could tell the human off. “Did something happen between you and Botan?”

Hiei was not going to answer. He didn’t care how the fox saw the ferry girl. There was no way he was going to tell the sneakiest, nosiest member of their team anything. If he was feeling less agitated, maybe, but he was not indulging the curiosity right now. He crossed his arms and turned away slightly.

Testing the waters, Kuwabara asked, “How is Botan?”

Again, Hiei’s eyes widened. The idiot was not intending to give up this interrogation, was he? His lips tightened and his body tensed. He eventually growled out a ‘fine’ through gritted teeth.

With that knowledge, his two comrades decided not to pry any further. Kuwabara actually felt relief. Something good happened between the two, and most likely Hiei couldn’t handle it being his emotionally stunted self. If that cost them a couple of trees, then it was a price well paid. Hiei would adjust soon enough. Besides neither of them wanted to push their luck.

“In any case, this probably isn’t the best area for training,” Kurama warned. “Many humans frequent this park. I could show you another close to where I live. I frequent that one.”

“No thanks,” Hiei grunted, though he gave no reason. The truth was this was the closest park to the apartment, and he was certain the redhead knew that. Still, he would not give the smirking fox the satisfaction of proving whatever he was thinking right. “I’ll be careful.”

“See that you are. Need I remind you of Spirit World and now Demon World law?”

“Hey, give him a break,” Kuwabara suggested amicably, smiling. “Hiei never goes back on his word, right? So we don’t have to worry.”

“Fair enough,” Kurama stated. “And with that out of the way, how would you like to join us for lunch, Hiei? We’re going somewhere nearby.”

“Can’t,” Hiei remarked. Actually, he planned to head back to the apartment. His training did little to remove thoughts of the ferry girl.

“Oh?” Kurama crooned before smiling knowingly. “You have somewhere to be.”

“Meddlesome fox.” With that phrase uttered, Hiei was gone from their sight.

Kuwabara looked towards his friend. “I guess we didn’t have to worry much after all.”

“Agreed. Hiei is certainly full of surprises.”

“You can say that again.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Botan sighed as she turned off the television. The drama she was watching did little to quell the nerves that flared up out of nowhere. She didn’t know why she felt this way and attributed it to the mood swings. Keeping productive was what she needed to do. That would get rid of those pesky jitters.

She looked around the apartment and noticed how messy it had gotten. Well, she really hadn’t felt up to cleaning the last few weeks, but she really needed to take care of this. Her mind went to the book. There had been a list on how to clean and what not to do when pregnant. She needed to check.

Well, this is no good… she thought as she read the list. She really needed to dust the place, yet she couldn’t use anything with chemicals, and that included those dust wipes or the actual spray. She understood it could be toxic, but how was she to get the work done.

The sound of the door opening caught her attention, and Botan beamed at the fire demon. His eyes met hers, his body freezing for a fraction of a second before he entered completely and closed the door. “I’m happy you’re here,” she told him. The fire demon didn’t react, but she was sure he wanted an explanation. “I could really use your help cleaning.”

“Why?” Hiei asked. Botan didn’t take offense. He probably wanted to understand more for he appeared genuinely curious.

“Well, I can’t touch or breathe in any harsh chemicals, and the rooms could use a good dusting,” she started to explain. “I haven’t even looked into making my own safe cleaning solutions yet. I know I need to get on that. I need to get those cleaning gloves, too. I could run to the store to get those. Oh, let me open the windows first if we’re going to clean.”

“Woman, I didn’t say I would be assisting,” Hiei stated, and Botan’s countenance fell.

Botan frowned. “Hiei,” she breathed out. “I’m sorry, but this stuff needs to get done and I can’t do this on my own. The book says there’s a lot I can’t do. I can’t even clean out the shower. There’s not much, but there’s a tiny bit of mold in the corner. I’m not even supposed to go near that. Please, just this once. I’ll look into hiring someone if you want, but I just wasn’t thinking these last couple of weeks. Also, please take your shoes off over by the door. We’re not supposed to wear them.”

“Is there anything that stupid human book says you’re allowed to do?” Hiei retorted bitterly. “It’s pathetic that you follow that thing so religiously. It hardly applies to everything you’re dealing with.”

“Are you calling me pathetic?” Botan asked, appalled. She narrowed her eyes at the fire demon before she let her anger take over. “You don’t want to help, fine! Live in a mess for all I care.”

Botan walked away, headed towards her room, and slammed the door behind her. Hiei cringed at the loud, obnoxious sound before he let out a frustrated breath and shook his head. That little tiff was not something he planned upon his arrival. For the first time, he actually wanted to just see the woman. He hadn’t seen her since the morning after she fell asleep against him. Yes, he had been avoiding her, but he figured seeing her couldn’t hurt. He didn’t expect for his comment to ignite her wrath. Maybe it was those mood swings again.

What Hiei didn’t realize was that he offended Botan deeply. How could he call her pathetic? It wasn’t really her fault that the baby could soak up anything she touched or breathed in. Cleaning wasn’t safe for the baby, and she really had forgotten to make the natural cleaners the book suggested. She didn’t even have all she needed for that. It was completely insensitive for Hiei to make her feel worse over something she couldn’t control.

Well, she’d show him. The next time she was faced with an obstacle this ‘human book’ warned her against, she would show Hiei she wasn’t pathetic. She would do the opposite. What was one time?

The opportunity came later. Botan really wasn’t feeling up to cooking anything that evening. Dizzy spells came over her so many times. She suggested to the fire demon that they go out to eat. Hiei was less than enthused about going anywhere where he’d need to interact with the humans, so Botan suggested Yusuke’s food cart. At least Yusuke he could tolerate, so Hiei agreed to go with her.

When they exited the apartment, Hiei made his way towards the elevator for he always saw Botan taking the contraption. He looked back to see the woman cautiously stepping down each step. His eyes narrowed. “What are you doing?”

His voice broke her concentration, she nearly stumbled and clutched onto the railing. Her eyes pinned him with a glare, and Hiei was struck by the anger and irritation. “I’m proving I’m still capable of doing things,” she said defiantly. “I’m not ‘pathetic’. I’ve only been listening to the book because of the baby, because this is new for me, so I’ve been following it to a ‘T’ for him or her. But I won’t let you talk down to me just because you don’t care.”

Hiei was surprised that she was still thinking of his slipup from earlier. Either way, it was none of his business if she wanted to prove herself. She was being too cautious in Hiei’s opinion. These books did little to prepare them for anything she had been experiencing so far. Besides, she was acting like a petulant child, trying to make herself feel better thinking that by breaking one rule she was a rebel. She was right. He didn’t care. “Whatever. Just know that if your clumsy self falls, I’m not going to help you.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” Botan hissed before she took a few more slow steps down. She could do this, she believed. She at least had a rail, not like at Genkai’s. She wasn’t running. There weren’t even as many stairs. They had a couple flights but that was it, and she was almost down the first flight. She looked back to see Hiei looking away, his arms crossed as he forced himself not to look at her. That was fine by her. If he wanted to act like this, that was his problem, but she would show him. She wasn’t as useless as he believed her to be right now.

Then, something changed. Out of nowhere, Botan felt faint, the pressure in her head killing her, and the staircase around her started to spin. Oh no… she thought. She hadn’t even considered that a dizzy spell would strike while she was on the stairs. This was bad.

She knew she needed to do something, but her only option would feel she was just being ridiculous. Still, what was more important: her baby or her pride? “H-Hi…Hiei…” her voice sounded too quiet for her. Did the fire demon hear her? She hoped so, for the next thing she knew, she blacked out.

Hiei heard her and looked over just in time for the woman to close her eyes and fall. Panic took over, and he hardly had any time to consider the implications as he heard her body bounce off the stairs and fall to the ground below. He rushed over to her, the woman unconscious, and he knew that that hadn’t come from the fall. She passed out before she fell. Damn it.

Someone else must have heard for they came to offer assistance. Hiei distrustfully glanced at the old, human male. The man offered something about calling an ambulance for his girlfriend. Hiei didn’t have the strength to correct him. He could only nod and he regarded Botan’s face troubled and contorted in pain. Worst of all, he could accept that this was his fault.

Hiei waited outside in the waiting room of the emergency room. He had never felt so lowly, not as he did in that moment. Not only had he insulted the ferry girl which led her to do something incredibly stupid to prove herself, but he just stood and watched her be defiant. He could have called her an idiot and stopped her from doing it, but the selfish part of him actually wanted to see her fail so he could rub it in her face that she really was just that pathetic. He had no idea her body was going to react that way, but it didn’t change the fact that he knew it was a possibility. Botan had been complaining about being dizzy all day, kept having to sit down to station herself. He should have paid more attention instead of just writing her off. Now, it was possible that she or the baby could be hurt. He was supposed to protect them from other demons—apparently himself included—and he failed.

“Hiei.” The fire demon’s head shot up when he heard the voice of Botan’s obstetrician, the one who told Botan to kick him to the curb. The ferry girl hadn’t listened to the woman, but now he was thinking maybe she should have. Then this wouldn’t have happened. The woman, Hanako he believed, walked over to him, and she was wearing an empathetic smile on her face. “Botan is awake, now. She’s ready to see you.”

Although his pride wanted him to stay silent, his mouth didn’t give a damn. “Is she all right? What about the child?”

“She wasn’t that high up on the stairs from what the ER doctor said,” she explained, “so it wasn’t a bad fall. Sometimes these things happen. She may be a little sore for a while, maybe have a couple bruises wherever she hit, but she’s doing just fine. The baby is okay, too. I did a quick ultrasound to show her the baby was all right. She was so frantic.” Hiei nodded, but he did not move. Hanako noticed his change in demeanor and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Are you sure she even wants to see me?”

Hanako offered him a sad smile. “Yes, Botan told me about the disagreement you had and why she did what she did. In truth, she feels just as bad about it as you do. Just come inside, and you two can talk things out. I don’t think she’ll stop crying until she sees you.”

That did Hiei in. Once again, the woman was crying, wasting her energy and tears, over him. “It’s better if I just leave,” he decided.

“I thought that, too, in the beginning,” Hanako admitted, “but I’ve seen the change in Botan. She was very happy when someone told her that her boyfriend was waiting for her. I know that this has all been very complicated for you. It’s not often that a demon and a human have a child together.”

Hiei’s eyes widened in shock, and he looked to the woman in horror. His glare intensified, and he was ready to murder the woman right then and there. “There’s absolutely no way she told you that, you witch. Who or what are you, and what do you want from us?” Hanako couldn’t help but chuckle. “What?”

“Relax, Hiei,” she attempted to pacify. “I’m simply a psychic with an ability to read energies, and I feel and take up the emotions and experience of others. I decided to put that to good use, to help other men and women handle one of the most, if not the most, stressful times in their lives.”

“So that’s your ability,” Hiei growled. He did not like that this woman had been lying to them and keeping them in the dark. He was reminded that Kurama found her interesting. “And what of the fox? Does he know?”

Hanako simply chuckled. “No, he doesn’t, and I’m not ready to tell him yet. I could sense a lot about him when our hands touched in the café, so much so that I could peg his mood for the day after one two-minute conversation. He’s still trying to figure me out, and I’m having quite a bit of fun making him think it’s way more than simply being psychic. I trust you won’t tell him. I know it would entertain you far too much.”

She was certainly right about that. It actually felt good to know something about this woman that the fox did not. After the many times he stuck his nose into Hiei’s affairs, the fire demon thought this was just payback. “I won’t say a word, but if you know as much as you’re letting on, then you should know that Botan isn’t exactly human.” Hanako seemed taken by surprise for once. “She’s a ferry girl from Spirit World who was given a human body.”

Hanako’s eyes flickered with understanding. “Oh, so that’s the weird sense I got from her. I just assumed she was another psychic. In any case, you two aren’t the first demon/human pair I’ve been faced with. It’s been happening more and more frequently.”

“Whatever,” the fire demon scoffed and crossed his arms. He didn’t really care about the other couples or what they experienced.

Botan breathed out a sigh of relief. Hanako had been wonderful, reassuring her even when she admitted that she had been the stupid one to take the stairs to prove a point. Her doctor didn’t scold or berate her or tell her she was an awful, horrible monster. Hanako probably thought it, though. What kind of person risked the safety of their child for the sake of an argument? Botan was pretty sure she wasn’t ready to be a mother after that point if she was still so childish. Hiei probably left her after that moment.

Thankfully, Botan hadn’t been higher up. She had been a little passed halfway on the flight when the dizzy spell took over. According to the men who found her and brought her in the ambulance, she fell on her back which made it even better. Before the ultrasound, Hanako assured Botan that the baby was fine. After all, pregnancy falls happened all the time, and they would be more common in her third trimester, when she would be larger and her joints would be looser. Even though Botan was in pain, her baby was cushioned by so much inside her. The baby was fine, and that made the ferry girl feel a thousand times better.

When the nurse said to Hanako that Botan’s boyfriend was waiting for information, Botan felt her heart skip a beat. Hiei was there? He stayed with her and was actually waiting to find out if she was okay? Wait, now Hanako would know Hiei never left! Botan warily looked to her doctor who smiled. That’s when Botan came clean about the fight and what made her consider taking the stairs. Tears filled Botan’s eyes as the depth of her stupidity hit her full force. Instead of getting mad, Hanako offered to go get Hiei. That did little to calm Botan down. She was certain the fire demon would be angry with her, too.

Footsteps called Botan’s attention. She gasped and looked up to see Hiei standing in the doorway, Hanako behind him. He didn’t look pleased, but that was his normal expression. He went to take a seat next to Botan’s bed, refusing to make eye contact with the woman.

“So, I explained the situation to Botan, so now let me go into detail with you here,” Hanako stated. “As I said, pregnancy falls can happen. In the third trimester, it could happen more often than not. During that time, she’ll be much bigger and her center of gravity will shift, not to mention that her joints will be very loose so she won’t necessarily be stable. Now, that doesn’t mean that we want her to have accidental falls, so Botan, that means no trying to look tough for others. If there’s an elevator, take it, and if you have no choice but to take stairs, ask for help.”

“Believe me, this will not be happening again,” Hiei stated. Botan could hear the underlying tinge of anger and shivered. He was mad at her, most definitely. “Botan will not be trying that again. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Very good,” Hanako responded. “Now, Botan, I’ll be seeing you again in my office for a visit in a couple of weeks. At that point, you’ll have entered your second trimester. You can read up on it or we can go into detail then. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call. For the next few days, just take it easy. You’ll still probably be a little sore from the fall you took.”

“I understand,” Botan whispered as she looked down in shame. She still felt unbelievably guilty.

Hanako left Hiei and Botan alone, and the fire demon still said nothing to the woman. “H-Hiei…”

“Not here,” he curtly stated. Botan’s eyes filled with tears once again. He sighed in frustration. “We will talk back at the apartment.”

“Okay,” Botan accepted. Her voice sounded so empty. She figured this was what she deserved for the stunt she pulled. If Hiei decided to leave that night to avoid dealing with her foolishness, then she would understand. He didn’t sign on for this.

Back at the apartment, once the door was closed, Hiei really let her have it. “You idiot!” he snapped. “You’d been having dizzy spells all day! What were you thinking?”

Botan shrank into the couch as Hiei stood before her, reprimanding her for her folly. Still, at the same time, he didn’t seem truly irate. If anything, he was more concerned than anything else, but that couldn’t be right. He made it clear that she and the child meant nothing to him, even if he admitted that he desired her. Her expression softened when he started to pace back and forth in front of the couch. He was clearly agitated.

“Hiei, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

His attention shot back to her. “What if I hadn’t been there? What if no one else had come out to help? What if that man hadn’t called the hospital? What, Botan?” She didn’t have an answer, at least not one that he wanted to hear. He turned away, his back facing her, and Botan took that as her opening.

Hiei froze when he felt Botan hug him from behind. She leaned her head against his shoulder, her body pushed up against him. His eyes widened as all rational thought left him. He had been so upset and rattled by her fall that he was tightly wound, and this wasn’t helping. Still, he didn’t pull away. He just heaved a heavy sigh as she once again whispered an apology. His head dropped down in defeat, and he finally pulled away. He turned to face her and removed her arms from him gently before he started to walk away.

“Get some rest,” he ordered when he reached the hall. “You had a big ordeal.” With that, he left a very stunned ferry girl. Botan was surprised by the uncharacteristic concern.

Hiei reached his room, closed the door hard behind him, and leaned against the wood. The back of his head hit the door lightly, the realization that his actions and words affected Botan and this baby made itself known once again. He should have learned after the last time; his words and avoidance had led the ferry girl into a spiraling depression. Botan had been so sick then, and the baby at risk. Now, it happened again, and it was his fault. He could have said he had better things to do or just walked out of the room, but he had gone and called her pathetic, told her she was listening to a book too much when that was probably what she should have done. And now, she felt guilty, and Hiei had made it worse yelling at her. He was just so infuriated with himself for putting them in danger with his callousness.

Swallowing his pride, he made a decision. Things had to change. It was his choice to stay during the course of the pregnancy for protection, not hers. She didn’t ask anything of him except for this day when she needed help cleaning. He knew he’d be stepping far out of his comfort zone, but at this point he didn’t care. Even though he wouldn’t be around after the birth, he needed to be kinder towards her. When he saw her fall, he worried over the woman and the baby, his core frantic. That had to mean something, whether he stuck around or not.

He was going to take this more seriously.

The days following the fall, Botan listened to her doctor and took it easy. There was one problem with that. Her depression returned full fold. Hiei came out of the room a bit more, surprisingly bringing Botan snacks and water during the day. At night, he’d sit with her until she decided to go to bed. There was nothing but silence between them, but his presence eased the coil wrapping around her heart.

Hiei didn’t know how to handle Botan’s change in mood. He had seen her depressed before, and he knew she had fallen in again. He had no idea how to get her out of her slump given the fact that he too felt a heaviness settle in his chest. He was still immensely angry with himself, and he didn’t see that changing any time soon. Still, Botan didn’t deserve to be in a funk. He needed to figure out how to pull her out of it before she fell back into old patterns.

While she slept on the couch in the middle of the afternoon, Hiei made his way to her room. His book had been useless in terms of telling him what was going on with the woman. All it ever mentioned was how he needed to behave and being mindful of the woman while trying to engage in sex. Was that all human males thought about? If Kuwabara was any indication, maybe not fully.

No, he decided to go for the guide Botan was reading. She had been given clues by the book before and had pulled herself out of depression all on her own. Maybe her book gave more solutions and advice on how to handle things. Upon his first reading, he found he was right on the money. Not only did the book give advice on how to handle depression while pregnant, but it actually gave information on how to handle the side-effects also. It was also very descriptive as to what was happening to her and how the baby was growing. Hiei swallowed thickly, uncomfortably. She was really willing to go through this hell just to birth their child? All the times he believed she was pathetic and weak and lazy, and she was actually using all her energy to stay strong enough for the child? He truly was a vile being.

Hiei learned more about human anatomy by reading the book, far more than he ever wanted to know, but he was strangely proud of Botan for getting this far on her own with minimal help. He was thankful toward his sister for all the times she took on the majority of the work around the temple just to let Botan rest and how she made sure the woman was eating.

She needed to know. Hiei needed to tell Botan what he thought. Maybe that would help her. This depression thing…apparently it was common, even if it was in just a small percentage of the pregnant women. Maybe if she had a better partner through this, she wouldn’t feel so alone. When he read that the depression could be severe and lead to the woman feeling so hopeless that she would have trouble taking care of herself and the baby, Hiei realized that they had already been there at the beginning of his time with her in this.

He read everything on this ‘prenatal depression’ to try and figure out the best way to handle it. It was possible this was a hormonal shift and that the woman would pull out of it again soon, but he had a feeling it had more to do with her stressful ordeal of falling. The book gave fighting with her partner as an example. Knowing the ferry girl, she also probably felt like she was unfit after that whole experience. Hiei certainly felt that way about himself. His thoughts were actually accurate.

Hiei made a mental note of the symptoms of depression, both minor and major, so he would be able to recognize it in the future with ease. This wasn’t the first time, so he knew it wouldn’t be the last. He also looked at the solutions and found that talking would definitely be the better option for the ferry girl. Her emotional state was far more important than his at this point. It had only taken him three months to accept that, three months since he had started the affair however drunk he was. He never thought about how she must have felt, never considered she’d end up pregnant. He never even thought she deserved a second glance.

Everything was different now as Hiei read these lifestyle changes that could also help with her mood. This guide suggested some easy fixes like the woman getting plenty of rest or spending time outdoors. It also suggested putting chores on hold, and Hiei was reminded of his own guide that suggested two weeks back to take some of the load off of the woman. She had done what her book suggested by asking him for assistance. Hiei’s brow furrowed; he really acted like an asshole.

But that was about to change for the both of them. He was going to help her out of this. The book encouraged exercise to help improve mood, fine. Eating better, well she already was, but he would make sure to enforce it. Spending time with friends and family…that one he might need to work on before he could dive right into that. Right now, he would start with getting the woman to discuss her feelings. Clearly, she hardly did anymore.

The demon flinched as a thought struck him. If only Mukuro could see him now.

When Hiei exited his room, he found Botan still asleep on the couch, the food he left her untouched. His brows furrowed in concern. Was she really that tired, or was she avoiding his offering to her? Either way, it was time for her to get up.

“Woman,” he huffed, his voice only a tad gentler than normal. Botan stirred in her sleep and looked at the fire demon with bleary eyes. “You need to eat.”

“Oh,” Botan murmured as she forced herself to sit up. She noticed the food on the coffee table and frowned. “You didn’t have to…”

“I know,” he told her. Deep down, though, Hiei believed he needed to leave it for her. He picked up the plate and handed it to her. “Eat.”

Botan nodded, picked up the chopsticks, and slowly ate her meal. Her skeptical eyes never left Hiei, but his eyes never stopped watching her. He intended to make sure she ate every last bit of food. She finished eating as quickly as she could, mainly to get away from Hiei. She got up to put the plate in the sink, and an overwhelming sensation of dizziness took over. Botan gripped the front of the sink and moaned, and Hiei was at her side a second later to catch her before she stumbled. “H-Hiei?”

“Just relax,” he ordered. “You’re fine. I’m here.”

He really was there, one hundred percent, although Botan probably didn’t understand the magnitude of his statement like he did. Hiei finally surrendered to this, and he wouldn’t go back on his mental promise. Regardless of what he thought of her or the child, he was getting them both through this. The child would be born. There was no going back.

The fire demon picked the ferry girl up in his arms. Botan yelping in surprise, and he carried her back to the couch and set her down. Botan had her arms wrapped around his neck. Their eyes stayed fixated on each other’s before he released her and unwrapped her arms from around his neck by gently grabbing her wrists. Botan felt her heart race as he touched her so tenderly; the pounding got worse as she watched him walk away to return to the sink. She nearly fell off the couch when she saw him washing the dishes.

When Hiei finished the task, he returned to her and knelt down in front of her. His eyes were so intense, Botan had to resist the urge to swallow. “What needs to be done around the apartment?” he questioned forcefully.

Botan was too shocked to form coherent words. “Huh…wha…w-what’s happening?”

“I’m going to start pulling my own weight,” he told her. “I realize that I have been skating by a lot during this whole ordeal. You need help. You’ve been doing fine on your own, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need assistance. Tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it.”

“Hiei, you don’t have to do anythi—”

“If you don’t tell me what needs to be done around here, then I’m going to get angry,” he warned. “You mentioned dusting. Anything else?” Botan shook her head. “You’re sure,” he stated for confirmation.

“I’m not even supposed to be around the dusting chemicals,” she admitted. “I’m supposed to make some safe cleaners for myself.”

“Tell me what you need, and I will go get the supplies tomorrow with Kurama.”

Botan was stunned. “Hiei…why?”

“I already told you,” he stated as he got up and walked away. “You’ve been doing fine on your own, but even a strong and stubborn mule such as yourself needs assistance. Rest. I’ll be out to check on you in a bit. Drink the water.”

Hiei left her, and Botan stared at the empty space where he had stood. She was in a complete daze. She couldn’t believe Hiei actually offered to help her. If he hadn’t complimented her with an insult at the end, she would have thought him to be a different person.

“What just happened…?”

It was the last week of her first trimester, and things had already gotten better. It was wonderful to know her baby was safe and growing. Botan read that the baby’s intestines and vocal cords were already developing. That and bones were beginning to form in his or her arms and legs. It was pretty cool. Her little one was on the way to becoming a tiny person inside of her.

Her body was starting to feel pretty good, the fatigue finally leaving her. She still had the occasional dizzy spell, but they started to taper off the last week. She still felt bloated and constipated at times, but she made sure to eat plenty of fruit and drink plenty of juice and that helped ease those symptoms. Of course, there would be other unpleasant symptoms she was sure to face, but all in all she was doing much better, and that wasn’t even the best part.

She and Hiei had actually found a rhythm.

The first time Hiei started doting on her, things were tense between the two. Botan had no idea what to expect or what was going on inside the fire demon’s head. At the end of the previous week, Botan finally had the courage to ask him. Hiei took a seat beside her, refused to make eye contact, and she learned that he felt just as responsible for her little stunt as she did, if not more so. Botan assured him that she was perfectly capable of making the choice to use the elevator even though he said what he did. Hiei nodded in agreement, but he took back when he said. He told her she was the furthest thing from pathetic and that he decided to take a page from her book. He confronted her on the depression, and Botan admitted that she believed herself to be too immature to have fallen for a taunt and that she had risked her child’s life. Hiei pointed out that they both did that. She didn’t know if he heard himself or not, but he ended that conversation with, “The brat’s stuck with us.” Since then, Botan had been far too elated to fall back into depression. Hers and Hiei’s friendship was back on track.

Of course, that didn’t help with that other symptom she was trying to avoid. Since all of the worse side-effects left her, Botan found herself feeling particularly frisky, and she did not want to have a repeat conversation with Hiei about it. She knew it was perfectly normal for her, thanks to the hormones, to want to jump into bed with the baby’s father, but they were finally starting to find some peace between them. She didn’t want to rock the boat any more than she had already.

At times, though, she noticed him eyeing her chest, and at other times he found her abdomen to be quite entrancing. She was showing much more, so that was probably all that fascinated him. Either way, it was not the time or place. She didn’t think it ever would be, even in the future. She and Hiei were from two different worlds, and he had already given up so much to help her this once. No, she wouldn’t be what held him back in the future. She was just thankful to have him there now. That was enough.

Apparently, it wasn’t enough for Hiei.

After spending the week actively engaged with Botan, Hiei found that a strange calm had settled into his core. It infected him in a way he never anticipated, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Being around the woman who was clearly pregnant with his child did something to him, and the more time he spent in her presence assisting her with such menial tasks, the more he actually wanted to do those things. He didn’t know if some disease had come over him, but he started to enjoy her company. They hardly spoke. She didn’t go out of her way to make idle chitchat. It just felt natural. If he thought back to all the times they ended up around each other at their friends’ gatherings, he’d say it felt like that. But even then he hadn’t really cared one way or another if he never saw the woman again. Now, he couldn’t get her out of his head. It was different. It was frightening.

His book offered little comfort. Although the woman’s book was about her bodily changes, his was written to a man who didn’t exist, someone who was planning a life with their significant other and was apparently really sexually active with the soon-to-be mother. It wasn’t to the one who accidentally sired a child and didn’t plan to be involved in its rearing. It wasn’t to a man who kept thinking of a woman he couldn’t be with.

The only sound advice it gave for the week was getting more involved. Hiei knew it was foolish. He needed to steer clear of the woman and the baby. She hardly ever spoke to him about the baby now, simply settling for their comfortable silences or asking him about his training. Wait, why did she even ask him about that? Well, at least it hadn’t led to empty conversation. Somehow, they actually did get to reminiscing about past cases and events. It was strangely pleasant.

The book made it sound like it was the woman who was leaving him out of all the pregnancy talk and all, but Hiei had been the one to tell her that he wasn’t interested. The part where it said that she may be hesitant to speak of it was probably more accurate, though not for the topic ‘burning out’ but leading to something equally fiery. She probably thought she’d anger or upset him, but for the first time he actually wanted to see things through. He made a mental pledge, after all, not to let her deal with this alone.

The two were sitting in the living room one night when he made desires known. “When is your next appointment?”

Hiei spoke the question out of nowhere. Actually, he came to sit with Botan after she had another fleeting dizzy spell. She froze when the question was asked and nearly fell over in shock before she met his impassive eyes. “Why?”

His answer took her breath away. His face remained stoic as he informed her, “I would like to go.” The perplexed look followed by a warm smile on the woman’s face gave him his answer. He recognized that he was making the right decision.

Chapter Text

Hanako was shocked, yet pleasantly surprised when she saw that Hiei came with Botan to her prenatal appointment. The doctor got some good vibes from him when they met up at the emergency room. He really seemed to care about the human girl, or ferry girl to be more precise from what he told her. Hanako was still trying to wrap her mind around that one. He was in the room when she examined Botan leaned up against the wall. It was clear that he was uncomfortable being there, his arms crossed and his eyes averted to give Botan her privacy, but his presence clearly relaxed Botan, and that was a good thing.

“So basically,” the doctor began to explain, “even if you can’t feel it, your little one is already moving around quite a bit, trying to straighten out and whatnot. Also, this is the stage where the baby starts growing hair and the roof of the mouth is forming. As far as your baby’s developing organs, the intestines are already starting to produce waste that will be the baby’s first bowel movement after birth.”

“So early?” Botan asked, surprised.

“Mm hm,” Hanako replied. “As for you, you’ll have to take really good care of yourself. Even if you feel a bit peppier and your energy makes a comeback, you have to watch out for getting sick. This is the stage where your immune system is weakened a bit, so make sure you take in plenty of vitamin C, keep eating fruit and drinking juice. Wash your hands as much as possible and try not to wear shoes in the house. That can track in dirt and bacteria that you don’t need. Also, avoid spending time around anyone who is sick, and if you get sick, get to a doctor as soon as possible.”

“Is there anything else we need to watch out for?” Hiei spoke up, still not looking at the women. Hanako’s eyes landed on him, and he could feel it. “Like the dizzy spells…”

Hanako smiled. “The dizzy spells may still continue but can be kept under control as long as Botan keeps eating right.” She looked back to her patient. “So, continue with the small meals and snacks throughout the day and drink plenty of water.”

“Okay,” Botan agreed.

“As for new symptoms, just be mindful of something called round ligament pain,” Hanako continued. “It’s just a possible side effect, but you could feel it. It’s a sharp or achy pain on one of both sides of the abdomen, and it’s a side effect of uterine growth.”

“Is it dangerous?” Botan asked nervously.

“Not at all,” Hanako assured with a wave of her hand, “and it’s just a possibility. The way to relieve it is to put your feet up and rest in a comfortable position. If you feel it at all, it’ll be more noticeable when you change positions suddenly or you get up from sitting or lying down, or sometimes even when you cough. But it’ll be all right. Just keep resting as much as possible and don’t be afraid to ask for help around the house or especially when grocery shopping.”

“Shuichi has actually been really good about the grocery shopping,” Botan admitted. “We’ve been really lucky.”

Hanako beamed brightly at the girl and said, “As I know I’ve said before, you are very lucky to have such good friends willing to help you both out.”

Hiei didn’t bother to correct the woman on her statement. Everything the others did was for Botan and the baby, as it should be. He had far less invested in this than she did, but then again, he asked himself why he even asked to go to the appointment. His logical side told him it was simply due to preservation. He needed to learn what was going on with the woman to better protect her, and that was all. A deeper part of him gave him a different answer, one he still wasn’t ready to accept. He buried that thought down before it even had a chance to form. He would not go there.

“So now that you’re in your second trimester,” Hanako’s voice cut through his inner musings, “quite a bit will change. On the side of good news, you should feel a burst of energy return to you. Take advantage of that. Exercise a bit more, be active. Despite the exercise, though, this is where most of your weight gain will occur, possibly four pounds a month.” Botan grimaced, and Hanako chuckled. “I know that’s not what anyone ever wants to hear, but it just means you have a growing, healthy baby, and that’s really good news.”

“You’re right,” Botan chimed, her mind focusing on the positives. “And that’s true. I honestly feel like myself again.”

“That’s what I like to hear from my mothers-to-be,” Hanako joked, and the two women laughed. Hiei felt a bit out of place, but he really didn’t care. In fact, he would have been content to stand there and observe until Botan asked a question that practically shattered his newfound peace.

“Can I see the baby?”

The numbness settled into his core, and Hiei found himself on autopilot. While Hanako told the woman that it was absolutely fine, Hiei was already at the door excusing himself. He slammed the door shut; Hanako stared at the structure dazed. She chanced a glance at her patient and was relieved to see that she was calm. “It’s all right,” she told the woman. “Hiei has been having a difficult time adjusting.”

“I noticed,” Hanako stated, “but he seems much more engaged.”

Botan nodded in agreement. “He has been. I didn’t ask him to be, but he’s been helping me out more and more. Even if he still struggles with this aspect of it, he’s slowly starting to accept it, so I’m just going to focus on the fact that he came here with me today.”

“Good attitude. Now, let’s see that baby.”

Hiei was not ready to see the child. It was bad enough he could already feel its presence. He knew the unborn being was there, but he knew seeing it would make the whole situation more real. As the significance settled in, Hiei felt the need to escape. He felt like a coward.

He was struggling, palms sweaty and his core tight with anxiety. Following the path back out to the waiting room made everything worse. When he reached there, he could see the other couples sitting there together, excited and waiting for their appointments. Men were doting on their partners in ways Hiei knew he could never do. Watching was only serving to make him more restless. He needed to leave.

Once again, he was met with reality. He knew he couldn’t be that man for Botan. He accepted that he never could. Unfortunately for the fire demon, there was a small part of him that was starting to want to be.

It was much later when the fire demon was accosted by his observant redheaded comrade. Kurama ended up going to the doctor’s office to pick up Botan after Hiei’s departure. He brought her back to the apartment and found Hiei brooding in the kitchen. Botan felt only a little tired, but she decided to go to her room to lie down anyway. Kurama came directly to him.

“I was surprised you went with her to begin with,” he stated, not so out of the blue. Hiei expected it. Usually, it was Kurama who brought Botan to the office, or Botan went alone with Hiei watching from afar. “You’re becoming more of an active participant in this journey.”

“Don’t dress it up with pretty words, Kurama,” Hiei hissed. “I am not in the mood.”

Kurama merely took a seat behind him, ready to offer a listening ear. “Why would you go if not to work together with Botan in this ordeal? According to her, you’ve been helping her out a lot more. She is happy you are here with her.”

“Enough,” Hiei spoke a bit too quickly. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work. The idiot already gave his two cents. I don’t need yours.”

The fox grinned at that. “I take it you mean the first time he came across you in the park.” Hiei didn’t bother to give a committal answer either way. “I take it he encouraged you to spend more time with Botan.”

“Don’t even,” Hiei growled darkly. He didn’t need Kurama to indulge in Kuwabara’s inanity.

“Which it seems like you have actually taken that advice,” the fox observed. “As I’m sure you were as of the last time we met up.”

“Fox…”

“Clearly something has occurred between the two of you, so that begs the question…why are you still fighting how you feel when you obviously want to be a part of it?”

“I don’t want to be a part of it,” Hiei countered, although even he couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince Kurama or himself. Apparently the fox could see through him, and Hiei released a frustrated sigh. “Look, fox, this is not where I belong. Even if I wanted to, I can’t be anything for that child. I can’t be anything with the ferry girl. I still have no idea why I’ve been doing it so much lately.”

“Instead of saying the actual answer,” Kurama teased, “maybe the better answer is that you’re nesting.” Hiei looked to the other demon in alarm. The redhead merely chuckled. “It’s a joke, Hiei. It’s simply possible that you’re looking to enter some sort of courtship with her.”

And that was exactly where Hiei hadn’t wanted the fox to go. His expression darkened as he glowered at the table, his expression growing grim. He couldn’t possibly be looking to court the woman. He never wanted a mate, nor did he ever believe he’d ever be presented with the opportunity to pursue any woman in such a demeaning, emotional fashion. He was not meant for that life. “Considering how you see her,” the demon began calmly, “you should want more for her than me.”

His statement visibly stunned the fox, a difficult feat to ever accomplish. Kurama studied Hiei’s tense form for the moment, the fire demon not making eye contact. Though the statement seemed demeaning, Kurama could tell that his friend believed himself to be speaking the truth. He couldn’t help but wonder why Hiei would feel this way. “On the contrary, Hiei. You are a trusted friend, and I know you don’t go into anything half-heartedly. Who better to look after her than you?”

A foot stomped hard on the ground as Hiei stood up abruptly. His hardened gaze met Kurama’s, but he turned his back towards the fox and walked away. He spoke evenly without pausing in his stride. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” And that was the end of that.

This is getting ridiculous.

Hiei glared at the stupid book in his hands and exhaled deeply through his nose. He swore if he read another article from this guide regarding sex, he was going to toss it at the fox’s head the next time he decided to interrogate him about the woman. This time, the book was actually encouraging him to have sex with the woman, and that set his brain on overload. What did he care? He didn’t need a book to tell him that sex was completely safe for the woman and the baby, but then it had to go and say other things.

Apparently, in order to motivate expecting fathers to screw around with their partners, whoever decided to write the book indicated that low-risk women who stayed sexually active during the pregnancy would be less likely to deliver early. It also gave Hiei more of an incentive not to pursue the woman, that it would fulfill the increased physical needs as well as give her emotional closeness by letting her know she was desired. He had already lowered himself into feeding into her fears and concerns of her desire, admitted that he found himself feeling the same way. There was no need to do anything else.

Mentally exhausted, Hiei left his room. He needed time away from that vile piece of literature. It was already late in the evening, so he decided to go and get something to eat, and he found Botan in the living room, buried under a blanket watching the television. This time she wasn’t watching those disturbing shows. It appeared to be a program featuring different animals. Hiei assumed that had to be better than the garbage he had been forced to endure already. Food momentarily forgotten, Hiei walked towards the couch, his footsteps startling and earning attention from the ferry girl.

When she spotted him, her expression brightened, and she patted the spot next to her, inviting the fire demon to join. Hiei hesitated for a moment losing all his certainty when he received an invitation. It was one thing when he made a decision for himself, but for her to willingly want him to sit beside her…the fox’s words from earlier rang in his ears. “She is happy you are here with her.” She shouldn’t be.

The internal debate exhausted the fire demon, so he finally decided to take a seat. He thought that would be the extent of it, but then Botan surprised him by leaning her form against him to place the blanket over both of them. His core froze at the contact before his blood felt like it was boiling. Fingers twitched as he struggled with his desire. It had been so much more intense since Botan admitted her struggles. The only thing he could do was distract himself and do something to prevent himself from taking the ferry girl right then and there.

Botan jumped when Hiei’s arms wrapped around her so forcefully, his hands gripped tight before they rested on her abdomen. She smiled, thinking his gesture to be incredibly sweet, not knowing of his growing battle. Hiei’s mental skirmish ceased the second his fist grazed the small, protruding bump, his eyes widened as the back of his fingers brushed against the swell. He heard the woman suck in a surprised gasp as she flinched against his touch. He was about to pull away when her hands prevented him, and he allowed her to place his hand against her. She relaxed in his grip.

The woman practically encouraged his touch, her fingers gently caressing his fist which led him to unclench it. His hand laid flat against her stomach, her hand resting over his. In this sense, he could feel more of her abdomen, more of the swell. He hardly knew what he was doing when his hand started to move on its own accord; it gently rubbed while Botan softly sighed and leaned her head back against his chest. This feeling fascinated Hiei, and all rational thought left him. His fiery eyes burned with desire, the heat rose up inside of him. Botan must have felt it, too, for she was forced to uncover her bare shoulder to alleviate some of the heat cycling between the two. Nervously, she looked towards Hiei, her eyes lidded and full of longing. Hiei did not know if he’d be able to pull away if she made a move towards him. He should have pulled away by now.

The phone rang, and reality returned around them.

Botan sighed and got up to retrieve the cell phone Kurama provided her. She smiled when she saw the name on the screen and answered. “Hello, Yukina,” she greeted. The name of his sister served to snap Hiei out of his trance. Kind as always, the ice maiden was probably calling to check up on the woman and possibly him. He looked down at his hand as if it had betrayed him. Honestly, it truly did. He needed to get away.

Botan chatted with the ice maiden for a bit before she hung up the phone. Her attention shifted back to Hiei only to find that he already disappeared, possibly retreating to his room. She wasn’t upset, honestly, when she noticed him gone. The ferry girl was truly happy that she and Hiei had grown closer. She hadn’t expected Hiei to embrace her the way he did or to touch her so tenderly. He seemed surprised by his own actions. Obviously, he needed his space, and she could not fault him. Besides, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to act on her desire, either. The phone call couldn’t have come at a better time.

Out of nowhere, Botan’s stomach growled, her face turned scarlet before she laughed and touched her tummy. “I guess someone is hungry,” she remarked lovingly as she rubbed the swell. “I guess that was a bit intense for you, too.” As she went to the kitchen, her mind went back to Hiei. “I wonder if he had anything to eat today…” Then she realized he probably wouldn’t want to see her right now and frowned slightly. “I hope so…”

A few days passed, all full of Hiei avoiding Botan and Botan being perfectly fine with it knowing what caused Hiei’s elusive behaviors. Finally, he came out of his room when he knew she was active, and the woman beamed brightly at him which made him feel uncomfortable. She never brought up what happened to which Hiei was thankful. However, Botan did express interest in getting out of the apartment for the day. Apparently she had remained a shut-in as Hiei had been. It was to his dismay that he agreed to go out with her.

The two walked around the city. Botan pointed out places she’d want to visit in the future, noted restaurants they should try while also showing Hiei the ice cream shop where Yusuke took her. When she told him she blushed and requested he not tell her doctor about her indulgence. Hiei merely shrugged. What did he care as long as the woman wasn’t hurting herself? He didn’t miss the way her eyes glimmered as she saw a different snack labelled ‘chocolate covered strawberries’, but she showed great restraint, waved them off, and continued on their way.

They made their way to Yusuke’s cart for lunch; the former detective’s eyes widened in shock as he saw them approaching. “Didn’t expect to see you guys around here…together,” he greeted immediately. Botan simply laughed and took a seat.

“Manners, Yusuke,” she chimed. “You wouldn’t want your other customers to think that’s how you greet all patrons.”

Her comment made him chuckle. “Yeah, yeah,” he remarked. His eyes shifted to Hiei. “So, what are you two doing palling around? I hardly ever see you outdoors, Hiei.”

The fire demon’s eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been looking in the right places.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Yusuke agreed. “So, now that you guys are here, I have test subjects. I’m trying out something for a new special. You in?”

“Of course,” Botan chirped. “Anything to help our friend, right?” She looked to Hiei expectantly.

The demon shrugged. It’s not like he had anything better to do, and he wasn’t about to turn down a free meal. “Alright,” Yusuke stated, “but just know you guys are the first ones tasting this, so you have to be honest and let me know what you think.”

So Yusuke prepared his newest dish and served the two. Botan grabbed a pair of chopsticks for both herself and Hiei, and the two began to eat. Yusuke watched them to gage their reactions, but found Botan was too focused on eating and Hiei wore his impassive mask. The one to stop eating first midway was Botan. She looked pensive for a moment, as if something were missing, and then she snapped her fingers. “You know what this needs?” she asked. Yusuke looked to her for an answer. “Strawberry jam!”

The perplexed look on Yusuke’s face was priceless as he nearly stumbled over before he grinned and chuckled at the woman and brushed his thumb against his nose. He pointed behind him. “You’re lucky there’s a grocery store like two steps away.” Botan looked to where he was pointing and saw it was a little more than two steps, but right on the block.

“I’ll be right back,” she said, happily excusing herself.

When she was gone, Yusuke snickered to himself before he looked to the fire demon who also paused in eating. “Them pregnancy cravings, huh?”

Hiei shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. That’s her first one.”

“Oh?” Yusuke stated. He smirked at the demon. “And how would you know that, huh? The two of you getting cozier?”

Red eyes narrowed in warning. “Watch it.”

“Hey, it’s not a big deal,” Yusuke pacified. “Like I said, the two of you always did seem a bit close, well, after you started spending more time in Human World that is, after the Demon World Tournament.”

“We aren’t anything,” Hiei growled. “And I would really like it if everyone just stopped assuming—”

“Everyone?” Yusuke interrupted. “So observant Kurama and sensible Kuwabara, huh? Then I’m not wrong.”

“You all are,” Hiei argued.

Yusuke nodded, but he didn’t let up on the topic. “So, anyway, you know of her pregnancy cravings because…? Clearly you’re spending enough time to notice the first time she has a craving.” Hiei couldn’t deny that claim. “So the question is, if you’re so adamant about ‘not being anything’ with Botan, why are you spending so much time with her? You’re only going to confuse her.”

Hiei pushed his dish away; he had no appetite anymore. He was getting angrier by the minute as Yusuke’s interrogation took a personal turn. He refused to answer. “Look,” the former detective huffed, “we’ve been friends a really long time, all of us. We’re all practically family.” Hiei grimaced at the idea. “I see Botan like a sister. You know, that little sister you can always get into trouble with. I care about her, Hiei, and I care about you, too. I don’t want to see either of you getting hurt by this.”

“You won’t have to worry about that,” Hiei said cryptically. Upon seeing Yusuke’s inquisitive expression, he elaborated. “I have no intention of sticking around after the birth of the child.”

“Does Botan know that?”

Hiei’s expression hardened, but he nodded. He told the woman countless times that this was just temporary, that he would leave when it was over. It was his duty to ensure the child was born safely, but afterwards he would return to Demon World, and he didn’t plan on returning.

“Still, be careful,” Yusuke suggested. “Botan doesn’t need to get hurt in this.”

“I made my position clear to the woman that anything I do is only out of duty to her and the child,” he explained. “I will wash my hands clean of this when it is over.”

Yusuke didn’t fully buy it, but Hiei was becoming more agitated by the second, and Botan would return soon. He decided to switch gears back to the previous discussion. “So, Botan’s craving sweet things, huh?” Hiei sighed, but he was thankful for the change in topic. He didn’t know where it was going, so he shrugged once again. Yusuke grinned. “You know, I think cravings might indicate the nature of the baby.” Now Hiei’s eyes narrowed. He knew the detective had to be making that up. His comrade could see that he was skeptical. “What? It makes sense. She’s craving sweet things so the baby will be sweet,” he teased before proudly adding, “like how my mom enjoyed sour flavors and I turned out to be sour and tough.”

Hiei regarded Yusuke with an uninterested gaze. “I think Puu would beg to differ.”

Yusuke’s pride deflated. “Does everyone have to bring him up?”

Botan’s abrupt arrival ended the conversation, but at least the mood had been lightened enough for her not to notice an issue. Hiei and Yusuke both watched her, both feeling a little disgusted as she poured the jam over the noodles, meat, and vegetables. Unfortunately, between Botan and Hiei, Yusuke never got an answer on how the dish tasted. After seeing it covered in jam, he didn’t think he’d want to make it again, anyway.

Chapter Text

The room was dark and cold. There was no glimmer of light. It was just a void, a soul-sucking void that caused a strain on Hiei’s being. The fire demon was completely overwhelmed. He had no idea where he was.

Light finally entered the void and shone brightly over some strange-looking, tall container. Earsplitting screams tore through his brain. Something was wrong. What was making such a sound?

He finally pulled himself free of whatever force was holding him there in suspended animation, glared back at the spot where he once stood as if it could sense his ire. Then, he made his way to the cradle-like container, and what he found startled him.

There, lying in a bassinet object—like the picture on the box in the living room— was a little babe, a girl. She was crying so much, her powder blue hair in her eyes. Hiei reached out to brush the tiny locks away. The instant his hand touched the child, her eyes snapped open and pinned him down. Those eyes looked just like the woman’s. His breath caught in his throat. Was she…?

Large tears filled the baby’s eyes as her wailing continued, eyes shut tight as her screams became louder and more pained. Hiei didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to make her stop crying. Was she crying because of him?

“What did you do, you monster?”

Hiei hadn’t realized his eyes were shut until they snapped open at the sound of the woman’s voice. He turned and saw Botan standing there, anger shining in her amethyst eyes. She was instantly in front of the cradle and picked up the small bundle to try and comfort her. Hateful eyes landed on Hiei, and he felt incredibly small under her gaze. “How could you? She’s only a baby.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Hiei stated, but Botan still turned away from him.

Another voice spoke through the void, a familiar, cold, cruel voice. Hiei’s core stilled. “The imiko will slaughter us all. He will bring nothing but destruction.”

Hiei couldn’t help but growl at the witch he could not see. But then his view shifted, and he was once again looking at Botan. She did not bother to hide her revulsion from him, and he felt his chest constrict, but he would not let her see passed his impassive mask. Disgusted, she hissed, “Stay away from my daughter, imiko.”

His blood ran cold.

A gasp escaped Hiei as he shot up out of bed, his torso glistened with sweat. It took him a few moments to get control of his breathing, and he mentally cursed himself for reacting so strongly to a dream. Nightmares were not common for the fire demon, not anymore. The last time had been ages ago, and most of his nightmares were memories instead of twisted glimpses of the future. This nightmare had been extremely different from those where he saw the ice village and relived the disturbed memories of his past.

It did not bother him that he had been cast out. He had long since made peace with that. Still, that word, that disparaging word, haunted him. When they left the lips of the ferry girl, he felt like his whole world shattered. He didn’t even want to think of what that meant.

This had to be because he was stuck in one place for too long. Hiei never stayed in one spot for long, even Mukuro’s stronghold. He would go away for months at a time, no questions asked. Before then, the place he lived the longest was with that band of thieves, and even there he would experience that awful sensation that came with those horrendous dreams. This was still different, though. He had not been prepared to have such a hallucination regarding the ferry girl and the baby, nor had he ever thought that he could take the rejection of the woman and their child so hard. The way he was forced awake and the panic he felt was a testament to his distress. What was worse was that he was still trying to rein in his emotions. He didn’t think he could feel that way over a pathetic nightmare.

Unfortunately, he was awake now, unable to return to sleep when he laid back down. That annoying book was on the nightstand, so he flicked on the light and figured it would distract him, plus they had entered another week. He knew for the woman was keeping track on a calendar on the fridge. He seriously doubted it would put him in more of a mood than he already was.

Now that you’ve reached the fifteen weeks pregnant mark, it’s time to start thinking about baby names, if you haven’t already. Well, he stood corrected. Agonizing over all the choices? Hiei stared at the text bored. No, he wasn’t. Consider these tips…

Hiei shut the book and shook his head. He didn’t give a damn about the tips of choosing a name. He rolled his eyes when he had caught sight of the last line on the page, that it was choosing the baby’s identity, so he needed to take time to get it right. Never. He didn’t even want to think about the baby right now. He hoped for insight about what the woman might be going through or what other way he needed to humiliate himself for the greater good. After his dream, he didn’t even want to think about what the baby would be let alone names for choosing its identity. Besides, he was not planning on sticking around after the birth. He solidified that decision, and he had no intention of going back on it. The woman would have to choose a name for the brat, not him. He practically tossed the book aside. Useless piece of garbage.

Still agitated, he left the room, hoping to stay in the open living room so he might feel less trapped. He had also been looking forward to being alone, but he came across Botan, the two meeting in the middle of the hall. She was up unusually late. It was practically the middle of the night. He watched as she left the bathroom, probably having finished her new oral hygiene kick. Though there weren’t any serious new symptoms, just the other day her gums started feeling sore, so she was taking her oral health seriously, and she would spend such a long time in the bathroom brushing, flossing, and using mouth wash. She was treating this ‘gingivitis’ thing as her mortal enemy.

The woman barely regarded him, simply waved kindly as she passed him and entered her room. When she closed the door behind her, Hiei released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. This was becoming more and more ridiculous, the fact that her presence could illicit such a reaction. No, it had to be just because of his dream. He did not want to accept that he was growing increasingly uncomfortable around the woman. He still had a little over five more months of this hell to endure.

A contented sigh escaped Botan as she lied down in her bed covered by her fluffy robe. She felt completely relaxed after her late night shower. This was all a result of her day, a day where she felt really exhausted. She decided to listen to her body’s cues and take a nap. It had been a really long nap, and now that it was night she felt completely awake. Actually, she had a ton of energy, and part of her wanted to go for a walk around the block, but she wasn’t foolish. It wasn’t safe to be out alone this late, and she was certain asking Hiei was out of the question. He seemed a bit jaded when she passed him, more so than usual. She was going to have to occupy herself.

She decided to take out her book to see what would be happening with her baby that week. It was exciting just to know how much he or she was growing. According to Hanako, in about a week they’d be able to tell the baby’s gender. Botan couldn’t wait. Normally doctors waited between eighteen and twenty weeks, but Botan wanted to know as early as possible. The earliest week to determine the gender was the sixteenth week. Botan couldn’t wait any longer than that. She hoped to broach the subject with Hiei really soon.

But for this week, her little one was starting to look more and more like a baby, according to what she read. He or she was still so small, the size of an orange. The ears were positioned properly on the sides of the head, and the eyes were shifting to the front of the face. It seemed like the child was going through quite the transformation. Botan giggled lovingly as she stroked her abdomen as if she were encouraging her baby to keep at it.

Even if she couldn’t feel it, the baby was apparently starting to move about. Botan wondered what it would be like to feel the first kick, but she couldn’t and wouldn’t rush it. Every moment was a blessing, even those where she had been sick. Thankfully, though, the dizzy spells were coming less and less frequently.

She learned her baby was practicing lots of things including breathing, sucking, and swallowing. All were basic survival skills a baby needed to know. Everything was going well, it seemed. Botan kind of wished she could see everything while it was happening, but the idea was just silly. Instead, she closed the book and lied it on her chest, her head sank into her pillow. With her eyes closed, she started thinking about whether the baby would be a boy or girl. She realized she’d have to pick names out eventually, but she had no idea what to name her child, either way. Eventually, she’d have to get one of those baby name books, or maybe the perfect name would hit her. Either way, she was excited, and that enthusiasm could not be tapered.

Her mind went to picturing what her baby would look like, a smile on her face. She imagined a little boy and a little girl, but strangely enough she pictured Hiei there with her. That wasn’t the best thing to do knowing that Hiei planned to leave eventually. Still, Botan had this hope deep down inside that Hiei would eventually come to visit his child. After all, he would return to Human World to check up on Yukina. He’d eventually see the baby, right? She knew it was even more farfetched, but she genuinely hoped that Hiei would be a part of the baby’s life. He had been doing so much for and with her lately. Only time would tell, she figured. If it did happen, Botan planned to encourage a relationship between the child and father, even if she and Hiei weren’t together. They were still friends, after all.

Now that Botan had read and had her little mental glimpses, she was feeling like she could finally sleep. That was a good thing. The next day, Kuwabara was keeping true to his promise and bringing Yukina over for a visit. Botan was happy and thankful. She missed the ice maiden even with her occasional calls to check on her. Yukina was such a caring sweetheart. Her baby was going to have the best aunt, well, best aunts and uncles. Everyone had just been so wonderful and supportive.

“Good night, little one,” Botan whispered into the night, falling asleep as she was. Part of her was thankful for the wave of exhaustion, though it would have been nice if she had still had some energy to change into pajamas. Oh well, the robe was comfortable enough.

The morning was bright and sunny, a perfect day for a visit. Yukina hadn’t really gotten the chance to see Botan in the new apartment, and it had been weeks. Botan expressed how chaotic things had been over the phone which only served to increase Yukina’s worry. That’s when the ice maiden contacted Kazuma and asked him to bring her to the city for a visit, and he was all but happy to. She was thankful to the human. He was always so kind and patient with her with everything. He always went out of his way to make sure she was safe and happy.

Now, it was her turn to make sure someone else was safe and happy, albeit for different reasons. She knew her brother was taking his time to adjust to this whole ordeal, but she had faith that he would eventually see the blessings ahead of him. Until then, her focus was making sure her friend, and niece’s or nephew’s mother, was taken care of and not falling back into depression. It seemed that Botan was out of that funk, but she just needed to make sure. She didn’t want her friend to be sad.

Botan smiled brightly when her friends reached the apartment. She answered the door just as soon as she heard Kuwabara’s firm knock. Hiei was in the living room, glowering over at the door. The ferry girl just informed him of his sister’s impromptu visit with the oaf. He didn’t mind seeing Yukina and how she was doing, but he was not ready to face Kuwabara again, not after his annoying advice paired with that of the fox and detective. This was going to be an annoying day.

His sister and Botan hugged just as soon as they came inside, and the sight baffled Hiei. They were so close, it was startling. It made the fire demon wonder just how much time the two spent together when he wasn’t around. Even when they were in the kitchen working together to make lunch, they just seemed so comfortable. Was it because of the baby or because of their friendship, or both, and could it have had anything to do with him? No, that was impossible, he settled. Yukina had no idea of their siblingship. There was no way she knew that she was the baby’s true aunt. It just had to be because of their friendship.

With one mental debate through, Hiei was forced with another. Kuwabara took a seat next to him in the living room. Hiei growled in warning. He did not want to deal with the psychic and his sensitivity right now. His initial mental debate regarding the fool was whether or not he wanted to murder his former teammate. After their last conversation, he didn’t think Yukina would enjoy that, and Botan would definitely be upset. Still, just his mere presence was enough to bother the fire demon. He needed to get away. He couldn’t handle all three of them together in the same place.

Abruptly, he stood, and all attention was on him, even the girls who stopped their cheery conversation. His movements halted their light laughter, and Kuwabara eyed him warily. “I’m going out,” he informed them all, retreating to his room to grab his sword. Training would help, and it would get him far away from all of them.

“I’m going too. I want to talk to you, Hiei.”

The fire demon deflated. Maybe not… “Fine.”

The two men left the apartment. Botan and Yukina exchanged apprehensive glances, but then the two smiled. Both had a feeling everything would be all right. “Don’t worry,” Yukina assured. “Kazuma has actually been a lot better. I don’t think he’ll give Hiei too much of a hard time.”

“I hope not,” Botan admitted. “Hiei has been handling everything a lot better. He’s been really sweet and very helpful.”

Yukina smiled, thrilled to hear that. She knew her brother would come around eventually, but she didn’t expect him to be so active so soon. It actually came as a relief to the ice maiden. Her brother deserved all of the joy in the world after all the trials he had been forced to endure. “That’s wonderful,” she chimed, but then she noticed Botan’s solemnity. “What’s wrong?”

Botan sighed sadly but forced a weak grin. “It’s nothing, Yukina,” she replied. “It’s just, I’ve been thinking about it more and more. I know it’s just a pipe dream, but I really wish Hiei would stay when the baby is born.”

Yukina nodded, understanding exactly how Botan felt. “I want that for you all, too,” she confessed. “It would be a shame if Hiei missed out on getting to know his child.”

That didn’t pick up Botan’s mood, especially when Yukina herself sounded uncertain about what her twin’s decision would be. She knew Hiei barely felt anything more than desire for her, and duty of course, but she really did care about him and saw him as her friend. She wanted her baby to know his or her father. Her ultimate hope, if Hiei decided not to stay, would be that Hiei would return for visits. She would not make it difficult for him if he wanted to get to know their child. She would forever encourage both him and the baby.

But she couldn’t think about it anymore. All of that would come with time, lots and lots of time for Hiei’s mind to be changed. It was time to change gears, and so she decided a bit of girl talk of a different kind would help her. “So, apparently, I’m supposed to make it a point to gain weight this trimester,” Botan informed the ice maiden, and she missed how Yukina’s eyes landed on her instantly. “I’m usually not very vain, but lately it’s not been something I’ve been looking forward to. The book says I should aim to gain a pound a week, give or take, and four pounds a month. With all the healthy eating and grazing, I don’t know if I can hit my quota.”

Botan laughed lightly until she realized Yukina wasn’t laughing with her. She looked off to her side to see a determined, fiery look in the ice maiden’s eyes. It unnerved her, the way her friend was looking at her. She voiced her wonderings in stammers. She wanted to know why Yukina was looking at her like that. “I’ll take over the dishes,” Yukina told her, her usually cheerful voice sounding dark and commanding. “You go rest and grab a snack. You should eat.”

Nervously, Botan giggled and waved the girl off. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I—”

The ice maiden got this really scary look in her eyes as Botan argued to stay on her feet and active. Botan finally held up her hands in defeat, continued to laugh nervously, and she slowly made her way for the living room after grabbing two apples on her way over to the couch. Yukina kept her crimson eyes on Botan, narrowed, until the ferry girl reached the couch and took a seat. Once she munched on her first apple, Yukina nodded, and finally went back to the kitchen chores. Botan sweatdropped. It was moments like these where she could really tell that Hiei and Yukina were related. The innocent ice maiden could be quite fearsome when she wanted to be.

Hiei burned with rage as the redheaded human followed him around the city. The two of them were met with pairs of eyes as they walked, probably because Hiei was carrying a weapon at his side in broad daylight. The fire demon hoped the psychic would say what he needed to so that he could move on, but the two simply travelled in silence, avoiding the human crowd around them. “Get on with it,” Hiei grunted out in frustration. Kuwabara finally looked down at him. “What bullshit do you have to tell me, today?”

Kuwabara was taken aback and actually stopped walking prompting Hiei to follow suit. “I was going to wait until we were somewhere more private,” he offered. “Didn’t think you’d want to talk about it here in the open.”

“Why the hell not?” Hiei remarked angrily. “You always interrupt my training, which I would like to get to sooner rather than later without you. So, what is it? Speak your piece and then leave me be.”

The two began to walk again. “I was just going to ask how things were going is all,” Kuwabara stated. “I heard you’ve been doing more with Botan lately, so I guess you took my advice.” Hiei scoffed and crossed his arms. “That’s gotta be good for both of you. It’ll make things easier for the future.”

Hiei’s eyes snapped to the redhead. “What do you mean by that?” he questioned darkly.

Kuwabara noticed a slight change in mood and his brow furrowed in confusion. “Well, I mean, you’ll probably be coming and going quite a bit, but I figured it would help with yours and Botan’s relationship and friendship when you come to visit the kid.”

Hiei froze once more, his core raging for him as the energy around him darkened. Kuwabara was a little creeped out when Hiei started to chuckle menacingly with a touch of disbelief. “You truly are a fool,” he remarked. “Did you honestly think I’d go anywhere near them once the child is born? Nonsense.”

“Hiei…” Kuwabara breathed out, shocked. He cleared his throat and pushed down his nerves. “I think that’s a mistake. Your kid is going to want to know you, and I’m sure you’ll want to know him or her. You’ve got to come back.”

“What I want is to be left alone and have no one else questioning my decisions,” Hiei sneered, his ire growing as he spoke. “Let’s get one thing straight, human. I never asked for your advice or the advice of the meddlesome fox and detective. You can take your words to someone who actually cares. I’m leaving when this is over and that’s final. I don’t care about the woman or the child!”

At the end of his pretty explosive tirade, Hiei disappeared from Kuwabara’s view faster than lightening. A sigh escaped the psychic. He really hoped to help, but it seemed like Hiei was still fighting himself. Although Kuwabara couldn’t understand the mentality, both Hiei and Botan were his friends. Neither of them had to get hurt in this. None in their group wanted to see either suffering.

According to Kurama and even Yusuke, Hiei had been spending more time with Botan, so it stood to reason he was getting used to the idea of sticking around. The way he just spoke, though, was filled with finality. Kuwabara dropped his head in defeat. He really hoped he didn’t make things any worse for his friends, but at the same time a part of him felt that Hiei really needed to hear what he had to say. He was usually right about that stuff. There wasn’t much he could do about it now, anyway. He just had to give the fire demon time. Hopefully, Hiei would ultimately make the right decision for all of them: for Botan, for the baby, and for himself.

Hiei did not return to the apartment until long after Kuwabara left with Yukina. He had no desire to chance running into the daring human who put him in such a sour mood. Kuwabara had to know that Hiei would not end up being a part of the child’s life. The fire demon made it perfectly clear to everyone that he had no intention of being present in anything regarding the brat. The woman included.

Speaking of, upon entering the silent apartment, he found the ferry girl sleeping in the living room. She didn’t look all that comfortable, her face scrunched up in distress. Hiei grunted. It wasn’t his problem, even though his instincts were telling him to go and cover the sleeping woman. No, he was not going to engage with the woman, even if she wasn’t awake to see it. She was nothing to him, meant nothing to him. He said as much to Kuwabara earlier.

He was about to leave the room when Botan’s soft voice stopped him. “H-Hiei…” The fire demon stood motionless in the middle of the room before his head tilted to cast the woman a glance. She was sleeping still. What a relief… She must have been dreaming, but why in all the three worlds would she be dreaming about him? “D-don’t…”

Her whispers caused Hiei’s eyes to narrow. Perhaps she was having a dream similar to his own the night before. Good. She shouldn’t want anything to do with him, anyway. He’d rather her see him as the monster instead of a friend. He started to walk away and leave her once again, but then her voice grew desperate. “Please, Hiei, don’t go…”

The illusion he created for himself shattered as those touching, innocent words freed themselves. Hiei felt like he had been drenched with a bucket of ice water. His mind was not prepared for it. He looked back to the sleeping figure, bewildered. Even in her subconscious mind, she was begging him to stay. She knew he was leaving, and yet there was a part of her deep down inside that didn’t want him to go. Yet she hadn’t expressed a desire for him to stay, and she probably wouldn’t. How could everyone see what he could not?

“She is happy you are here with her.”

“Botan doesn’t need to get hurt in this.”

“You’ve got to come back.”

Hiei rushed away to his room, but not before he took the blanket from the couch and tossed it over Botan’s form. She sighed in her sleep, her expression more relaxed contrasting Hiei’s tumultuous and chaotic mind.

He had no idea what to do, no idea what to think. All he knew was that he couldn’t hurt the woman, and yet he couldn’t stay either. Everything was wrong. It used to be simple, and now he was at war with his decision. He couldn’t change it, and he wouldn’t. He had solidified his decision. So, why now, did it feel so hard to accept it? Why was he questioning the best course of action?

What am I going to do?

Chapter Text

Well, it finally happened.

Hiei and Botan had gotten in their first, actual argument where both participants were in a screaming match the majority of the morning. Botan locked herself in her room and cried leaving Hiei to angrily wander about the apartment. It had been over something small and stupid, so trivial that Hiei could not even remember what it was. Somehow, something simple caused a minor argument, and Hiei grew aggravated over the woman’s attitude and snapped right back at her to defend himself.

Now that they were in separate rooms, Hiei calmed from their heated tiff, but he still felt no better. The reason for that was the woman hiding in her room. As he passed the closed door, he could still hear her muffled sobs and scowled. There was no reason for her to be that upset still. Hiei accepted that the both of them overreacted, so as it stood, she should have understood that as well. Why couldn’t she?

He scoffed and shook his head. The woman and her moods were frustrating and honestly weren’t his problem. Even more irksome was that thinking that way recalled a memory to Hiei’s attention, a memory of Botan lying on the bottom of the staircase consistently playing on repeat in his mind. His eyes narrowed. As much as he wanted to just walk away from the room and leave her be, he couldn’t. It wouldn’t hurt to check on her and maybe get her to cease with that wretched sound.

Hiei made his way to her room before he realized he really had nothing to say. He would not apologize for the altercation as neither of them did anything wrong. It had been just a simple exchange of words that led to Botan’s moodiness, and Hiei hadn’t liked her attitude. He grew defensive over something Botan said and replied in kind saying something that held no weight in his anger. And despite knowing that, he still couldn’t remember what it was that transpired, could not call up the words to say they were all false and had no merit. He had nothing to say as he stood at the door, and thankfully the crying finally subsided.

About to turn away, the door to Botan’s room opened, the woman’s eyes all red and puffy as she flinched in surprise at the sight of him. “Oh…” she murmured, startled. “Um, hi.” She softly spoke, clearly testing the waters. When Hiei made no move to speak, leave, or continue their argument, Botan continued. “I just remembered that I have my doctor’s appointment today. I have to go. I didn’t know if you still wanted to come…”

“I will go,” Hiei stated, his voice tight in response to the accusation that left her.

Botan’s expression seemed to brighten, but only slightly. A soft smile graced her features, and her shoulders relaxed. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’m glad.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted and crossed his arms. Well, at least he hadn’t had to do much to push them passed this annoying disagreement. They had more important things to deal with, after all.

“So, this is the time when you baby’s eyes are actually working,” Hanako informed them. Botan’s eyes grew wide with unbridled excitement. This time, Hiei was sitting in a chair near the woman, still averting his eyes out of both respect and necessity. “The muscles in the backbone are starting to work so the little one can spread out a bit more. Even facial muscles are forming, so the baby can make a few expressive frowns and squints.”

Botan giggled and looked at Hiei who still wasn’t looking her way. “Just like someone else I know,” she teased.

Proving her point, Hiei’s eyes narrowed at the wall, and he grimaced. Even Hanako shared a laugh with the woman at his expense. “Hn,” he scoffed, ignoring them. He just had to put up with the humiliation for a few more moments, anyway. They were at the tail end of the appointment…he hoped.

“Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that this is the stage where the baby can hear your voice.” That earned a joyous grin from Botan and a flash of skepticism from Hiei. He glared at the woman.

“There is no way in hell that is possible,” he stated.

Hanako grinned at having successfully engaged Hiei in the appointment. “Actually, it’s quite possible, especially given your background. Even with fully human children, studies have shown that babies who hear a song while they’re in the womb recognize the same tune when it’s sung to them after they’re born.”

Hiei grunted again, and Botan looked between the two, her eyes wide. “W-what?” she gasped out, her eyes settled on her doctor. Hanako merely smiled.

“She’s a psychic,” Hiei informed the woman. “She figured it out a while ago. Told me when we went to the emergency room.”

“O-oh,” Botan stammered before she gazed at the woman with awe. A smile lit her features. “Well, then I guess we don’t have to hide too much with you, huh? All this time…”

Hanako grinned. “Yes,” she replied warmly. “Don’t tell Shuichi yet, though. I’m waiting for him to figure out how I’m able to determine so much.”

Botan held up her hands in defense and laughed. “Don’t worry; I won’t get involved. Besides, where would the fun in that be?”

“I’m starting to sense that he normally isn’t easy to outfox,” Hanako pondered. That earned a snicker from Hiei and shock from Botan. “What?”

“Do me a favor and use that expression on him next time you see him,” Hiei remarked with amusement.

It was Hanako’s turn to be stumped. “Sure?” she voiced, and then her attention went back to Botan. “In any case, your weight gain seems consistent, so keep it up.” Botan’s expression soured again, and Hanako empathized. “I know it’s a difficult concept, but it’s really not bad. It’s actually good for the baby, but words of wisdom, if you find an accessory you like or that makes you feel pretty, just buy it. There’s no need to be upset about the weight and beat yourself up for it. It’s necessary for the baby.”

Botan nodded in response. She already had an earful from Yukina on that. “Also, you may find yourself feeling congested and possibly get a nosebleed or two. That is completely normal. The mucous membranes of your nose will swell and increase blood flow. You can use saline sprays, but I don’t want you using any antihistamine medications or nose sprays. You could also get a humidifier and dab some petroleum jelly under your nose to alleviate the dryness.”

“I’ll definitely look into that,” Botan assured the woman. She still remembered how much blood she lost back when she was sick and she didn’t want to repeat that whole ordeal in any way, shape, or form. “Is there anything else I should watch out for?”

“Varicose veins,” Hanako answered. “Because your uterus is growing, blood vessels can be compressed and cause varicose veins to form which could be painful to you. You can prevent them, though. Don’t stand in one position for too long and elevate your feet when you sit. That should help you.” Botan nodded. “Also, I have to ask, but did you want to schedule a genetic screening test? The next couple of weeks will yield the most accurate results if you wanted.”

Botan looked hesitant. She read that some of the tests had slight risks, and she really didn’t think she needed it. “Do I have to?”

Hanako shook her head lightly. “Not at all. Some couples are just interested or are looking out for any genetic anomalies. But given what I know, I can assure you that other human/demon pairs that have had the testing done found that there wasn’t much to tell. It is completely optional.”

“I think we’re good,” Botan responded firmly. “I know it’s a small risk to the baby, but I don’t want any risk.”

The doctor smiled. “Now that the information side of the appointment is done, it’s time for the main event. Today we’re going to find out if you’re having a little boy or girl. You ready?”

Hiei’s eyes widened. Last appointment was bad enough. He still wasn’t ready to see the child, and he definitely wasn’t ready to find out the sex of the brat. He stood up, getting ready to walk out again, but this time, a hand grabbed his wrist and stopped him. The fire demon turned back to see the woman’s eyes begging him to stay. She looked hesitant as she released him. “Er…sorry, I just…I want you to be here for this,” she told him, her words sincere.

He didn’t want to be there; he was certain about that. However, given their argument that morning and how upset Botan had been, he had to grant her this. He grunted again and went around her to see the monitor and leaned against the heightened chair where she was sitting. He waited while Hanako prepped Botan for it, again looking away.

“Alright,” Hanako called out. “Okay, you two, so this is your baby.”

Reluctantly, Hiei forced his eyes on the screen, his red orbs widening at the sight. That was it? Some strange-looking, tiny thing? That’s what had him so panicked? He wanted to berate himself, but at the same time he was just so awed. That little thing was a life, something he created albeit accidentally. And it was already moving slightly. He looked directly at Botan’s abdomen. It was actually in there. He had known this already, but just seeing it made the experience and knowledge more tangible. It wasn’t just a figment in his mind when the child reached out. It was really there. The woman protected that tiny creature with her body.

“Congratulations, you two,” Hanako whispered fondly. She glanced over to regard both of them with a patient smile. “You two will be having a little boy.”

And then the awe disappeared, and Hiei was left feeling numb. What had she just announced? A boy, like him…a curse.

Botan’s eyes widened in shock; tears formed in her eyes. Hiei’s expression darkened. Even she was ashamed. The thought evoked a bitterness from Hiei. Hanako was oblivious to the tension for a moment and smiled at them. “I’ll leave you two alone for a moment.”

That was probably the worst idea she could have come up with. Hiei did not want to be alone with the woman. Honestly, he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible. Instead, he was left glowering at her, inexplicably angered by her reaction. “Hiei,” her soft voice rang in his ears, and he was taken aback. His brow furrowed in confusion. Wasn’t she upset? She unsuspectingly pulled him into her arms and hugged him, a look of pure joy plastered on her face, and Hiei was stupefied especially because tears still continued to stream down her face. “Can you believe it, Hiei? We’re having a boy!” She looked to the monitor, still not releasing him, a glint of fondness in her eyes. She rubbed her bump lovingly and said, “You’re going to be strong, just like your father, little one.”

Hiei was trapped in a daze, his expression sober as the words left her lips. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. She was so happy, something Hiei had not expected when she started crying. He had been brought back to dark times, waiting to say that the woman asked for this when she decided to keep the child even after he gave subtle warning, but those words died on his tongue, and now he was left gazing upon this woman. This woman was full of gladness over this child he had accidentally given her. She pulled his form close to her. He didn’t understand any of this, but, for the first time, there was a spark, an emotion that he himself felt. It was so small that his mind was trying to force him to nurture it. The thought fluttered in his mind. He realized he wasn’t just there out of obligation, that he made the choice because of feelings he had towards the woman. This moment, though, this experience, made him feel closer to her, made those feelings truer. He was going to make the most it before his mind changed again. It would happen sooner or later.

For now, he decided, to focus on the woman and keep her happy. Her reaction to the knowledge of them having a son together settled Hiei and did something to his core. He hadn’t realized that he was holding onto such hatred until he was faced with Botan’s warmth. She pulled him out of a dark place just by accepting their son as a blessing and not a curse. The fondness she spoke with to the child, saying that Hiei was strong, he could not deny that he felt a pull towards her in that moment. Of course, he had no plans on mentioning that to anyone.

“I still can’t believe we’re having a boy,” Botan chimed as they walked home. “Now, I can call him ‘he’ instead of ‘it’. That makes me feel better.”

A thought hit Hiei. “Would you have felt the same if the child were female?”

Botan’s eyes widened for a fraction before she smiled. “Well, honestly, yes, I still would have been thrilled. But I secretly kind of wished he’d be a boy. Not for any particular reason, but well unless I’m here I’m surrounded by women all the time. It will be a nice change. I can’t wait for him to be born.”

There she went saying senseless words, and yet Hiei felt strangely comforted. It was enough that she hadn’t been upset or angry about finding out the sex, but to hear her say she actually wanted a boy child…that was new to Hiei given his origins. “In any case,” Botan interjected, interrupting Hiei’s thoughts, “now we know, so I’m very happy. I know you’re still adjusting, but I love our little one, and I can’t wait to see how he continues to grow.”

Hiei’s fingers twitched, but he steeled himself otherwise. Her words…her understanding of him and her honesty never ceased to amaze him, and a feral part of him wanted to grab her and enact sinful fantasies with her, going back to that night at the wedding. Knowing her thoughts on that, he knew she would not be opposed, but he still fought against it. He still planned to leave when this was all over. He would not complicate things further no matter how much his body and core wanted to engage. She didn’t deserve that.

However…

“Do you want to do anything?”

The question caught Botan off-guard, her eyes full of surprise as they regarded the fire demon. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Hiei stated, his form rigid and expression stoic. “Whatever those pathetic humans like to do when they receive good news.” He could practically feel the woman brighten without even looking at her.

“Really? You want to celebrate with me?” she asked but received no answer. His question had been evidence enough. A gentle grin was his answer. “Actually, I would really like that. I know just the place. There’s this steakhouse I’ve been meaning to try.” Hiei watched as her hand grazed her stomach once again. “We gotta feed this little guy the meat he’s craving.”

She surprised him in the doctor’s office with her initial reaction, but now Hiei adjusted. He had to stop being taken aback and simply accept this as Botan’s normal attitude. Beside himself, he answered with a nod of agreement. The two went off together, Botan content and radiating blissful energy. She was so excited to celebrate her precious son.

“If weight and gain have always been unspeakable words for you and your partner,” the book read, “then added pounds should be a plus. Your partner is supposed to gain weight during this stage of the game.”

Hiei leaned his head back against the bedroom wall, sitting underneath his window. If that were the case, why was the woman feeling so downtrodden over this small fact, even from the very beginning? She was carrying an extra person on her, and yet it bothered her? She made no sense sometimes. At least she finally seemed to get over the ‘weight issue’.

The fire demon shook his head and continued reading, seeing what advice the useless book had to offer for the week. “That said, it’s important to know how much to gain and when to gain it.” Hiei rolled his eyes. It even talked about how Botan’s weight would be distributed. Hiei didn’t give a damn about that. He didn’t know why it would matter. He was about to put the book away, but then he read one more line. The book did something shocking. It actually gave him useful information, and his brow furrowed.

“If your partner packs on way too many pounds, she could increase her risk of diabetes, hypertension, and complications during labor and delivery. If she packs on too few, which about one in five moms-to-be do, she would have an increased risk for a baby who will be born to soon or too small along with other pregnancy complications. Your partner should gain weight at a steady pace, and it is your job to encourage her to do so while reminding her that she’s beautiful and incredible, and if she’s not feeling very attractive, remind her that she’s incredible for carrying the life of the child for the both of you. Mom needs all the encouragement, reassurance, and love she can get.”

Hiei closed the guide and sighed before he stares up at the ceiling. He was lucky that Botan was finally getting over whatever notion she had before. She looked fine. She was steadily gaining weight as the books and their doctor suggested. Oh well. It didn’t matter anymore. The woman was over it, so Hiei needed to do nothing extra.

A startled cry alerted him, and he raced from the room to Botan’s, sword in hand. The woman looked terrified, Hiei’s eyes narrowing as he searched the room. He ignored the tears in Botan’s eyes, wondering if someone or something made an attempt to attack her, but the room was completely empty and there was nothing around them. “Hiei, what are you doing?” Botan questioned, her voice shaky.

“You cried out,” Hiei stated. He sheathed his sword once he established that there was no one else there with them. His arms were crossed over his chest, his gaze silently admonished her. Botan’s eyes were full of guilt seconds later. “Mind telling me what that was about?”

“It’s nothing,” she clipped a bit too quickly. “I’m fine.”

“Didn’t sound fine to me,” Hiei stated as he walked across the room to lean on the wall to observe the timid ferry girl. “What happened?”

“It’s really nothing,” Botan said a bit more calmly, her cheeks dusting red. “Just…some of my clothes, like this one dress I really like…it doesn’t fit anymore.”

Hiei’s eyes narrowed. That was it? It really was nothing, and yet Botan seemed very sullen about it. Already, he could determine what was going through the woman’s mind. This was a weight thing, wasn’t it? And his guide had told him to be supportive. He nearly bit his tongue before he forced out, “Why is that bothering you?”

Botan’s energy perked up slightly, as if she were surprised, yet thankful that he asked. A weak smile was his answer. “You’ll think I’m silly. I swear, I usually never worried about my weight or appearance before. I guess it’s just because I look so different now, and it’s strange to me. I’m really not a vain person. And I was just hoping it’d still fit. It’s a very loose dress, but I just don’t look good in it right now…”

“What are you getting dressed up for?”

“Well, everyone is meeting up at Keiko’s family’s restaurant,” Botan explained. “I just wanted to look nice. I’m not really feeling too well today, so I thought…”

“What’s wrong?” Hiei questioned, concerned when Botan said she wasn’t feeling the best. “Is it the dizzy spells again?”

Botan shook her head. “Emotionally,” she confessed. She sighed and sunk down even more. “It’s really nothing. It came out of nowhere, but it hasn’t gotten any better.”

Hiei didn’t react much, but he did look over at the woman’s closet. He sure as hell couldn’t do what the book suggested. He would not offer her admissions of her attractiveness and beauty, but he could at least offer a silent reassurance. Botan watched Hiei walk over to her closet, and the fire demon yanked a dressy maternity blouse and a long skirt, tossed them on her bed, and exited the room. The ferry girl chuckled bashfully before she took the shirt in her hands. She’d like to believe that, in his own way, Hiei was offering his opinion of what he thought would look good on her. It couldn’t hurt to wear the outfit. Besides, she had to leave soon. Maybe, she realized, Hiei would want to go with her. She would have to ask him. They were his friends, too.

Everyone was surprised when Hiei showed up to the restaurant with Botan. Usually, for any past gatherings, they would have to sick Yukina or Kurama on him. There was no prompting for this gathering, and the group already saw it as a positive sign. Kurama smirked knowingly at the fire demon; Hiei met his eyes and conveyed a silent warning demanding the fox stay silent. Kuwabara and Yusuke noticed the exchange and chuckled at their buddy’s expense.

Of course, somehow, the conversation became about the baby.

“So?” Keiko questioned, her voice a bit too energetic for Hiei’s liking. She sat really close to Botan, the two actively engaged in conversation. “Do you know? Is it a boy or a girl?”

Botan smiled, but she shook her head. She noticed that Hiei appeared to be uncomfortable, so she settled on, “We want to keep it a surprise for now. I hope you understand.”

Keiko and the girls were about to assure Botan they did, but Yusuke was the one who petulantly cried out as he jumped up. “No fair!”

His outburst caught everyone by surprise, and Hiei glowered at him in irritation. Botan’s wide eyes were on the former detective who was now ranting about wanting to know because, as his exact words went, he needed to know if he had a niece or nephew to spoil. As the words left his mouth, he became red in the face and blushed profusely at his admission. To try to save face, he desperately called out, over the rest of the group’s, minus Hiei, laughter. “I mean…!”

Yusuke did not get the chance to defend himself for the slip for Keiko moved to kiss his cheek. The woman smiled at him. “Don’t worry. We all know you’re a big softy under all that bad attitude.”

Kuwabara said something in agreement, Yusuke shot back a “you’re one to talk!” All in all, the gathering was a huge success. Botan felt much better, and that nice ice breaker relaxed even Hiei to an extent. He was still rigid and tensed, hiding out in the corner and gazing out the window. Still, he was there, didn’t think to flee once, and Botan was grateful. She really loved it when their family was together.

Chapter Text

A sound cracked through Hiei’s sleep, and he couldn’t help but scoff when he realized what it was. A new symptom had arisen in Botan over the last couple of days. Snoring…louder than the roars of any demon or the screams accompanying a power up. And, every night, it started at the same time, most likely indicating that Botan was actually on some sort of sleep schedule or that her body was giving out at the same time every night. Because of their paper-thin walls, the snoring kept Hiei awake. Truthfully, it sounded like the woman was right next to him. It was maddening.

Hiei required little sleep as it was, but barely getting any was starting to affect his movements in training and did little to improve his mood. At the same time, he refused to confront Botan about this. She would take it personally. Somehow, her depression would spike again over this triviality. No, he’d leave this be for now.

Unfortunately, once the snoring began, Hiei would be awake the entire night. It was late, so he did not want to go far from the apartment, and he would never stoop to the level of watching human entertainment. The fire demon glanced around his nearly empty room, and the only object he had at his disposal other than his katana was the horrendous guidebook. His eyes narrowed at closed book before they closed and he breathed out a heavy sigh full of surrender. He moved to grab the book and turned the pages to the current, seventeenth week.

He scoffed in disbelief over what he read. Apparently, the book that it best to inform him about the ultrasound they would attend this week to learn of the baby’s gender. It discusses what to expect, the anticipation, the ‘excitement’, the fear. Hiei glowered at the page. And just a week too late to matter. Once again, this book was proving to be useless, and he was about ready to incinerate it into nothingness.

Of course, the book couldn’t be blamed. Even Hanako stated that Botan could have scheduled an ultrasound any one of the recent weeks, but Botan wanted to know the baby’s gender at the earliest point they could tell. Hiei couldn’t help but recall the memory of how happy Botan was to hear they were having a son. A son…

Hiei shook his head. For the longest time, he thought the child, regardless of gender, shouldn’t even exist. He never wanted and was never really meant to procreate. There was never a woman that he felt the desire to pursue. Even the woman had been a speck in the background of his mind. When she wasn’t around, he never gave her a thought. Now, it was all the opposite. He felt desire for the woman, wanted to engage in the same behavior that led them to this point, resulted in this mistake. But, for some reason, Hiei couldn’t really consider the child a mistake. He could not harbor the idea that the child, his son, was not meant to exist. Not when the ferry girl had been filled with so much joy.

What a disturbing and unsettling thought that was. The fire demon had no idea how to process that notion.

“At seventeen weeks, you’ve likely been to a few doctor appointments already, but you won’t want to miss the one coming soon. You’ll get to check out the grainy image on a small T.V. screen. Yup, that’s your baby.”

Botan smiled sheepishly as she read her book while snacking on a bowl full of strawberries dipped in strawberry yogurt. Most of the information about the week informed her of the same ultrasound she had the week prior. Part of her knew she jumped the gun, but she was just excited about the thought of her little boy, and she wouldn’t trade this week of knowing for anything. The book told her some other things, too. Mainly, it explained that Hanako could determine how the baby was developing due to his size and the amount of amniotic fluid and by checking all of the major organs, giving an overall picture of her son’s health. Doctors really were amazing.

Her little one was amazing too. He was growing and, according to the literature, already put on about five more ounces. He was still so tiny, the size of her palm, but he would keep growing. His body fat was starting to develop and his heartrate was now regulated by his brain. It made Botan wonder. How did his heart beat before? This all just completely puzzled and fascinated her. The development of life was truly a magical experience. Oh, and the baby was already practicing sucking and swallowing. And his fingerprints were forming as well! Not only did he have a gender now, but he was starting to get an identity! This made Botan extremely happy.

Another topic she read about was something about snoring. Botan’s brow furrowed, reading the passage, but she didn’t really think she had to worry about that. “If your partner finds your new snoring habit about as sexy as a hippo in a thong, take heart. The stuffiness that often triggers world-champion snoring is common and temporary, another side effect of those pregnancy hormones at work (even the nose is affected by pregnancy hormones). You are more sensitive to allergens during this time.” Botan blinked at the page. “Try putting a humidifier in your bedroom, use one of those nasal strips to open up your nasal passages, or sleep on a couple of pillows to keep your head slightly elevated. If he still complains, buy him a set of earplugs or banish him to the couch for the night. It’s more important that you get a good night’s sleep these days.”

Well, clearly, Botan didn’t have to worry about that. She hadn’t heard herself snoring, so this unexplained side effect had yet to occur. At least she and Hiei slept in separate rooms. It was only temporary, but she’d hate to keep the fire demon awake all night. He had been such a good sport lately, though the last few days he had been cranky. He must have hit a wall in his training. Botan pouted. Sometimes her friend trained way too hard. A little break wouldn’t kill him.

She yawned and stretched, finished up her post breakfast snack…at six in the morning. Why was she up so early? The ferry girl shrugged. She remembered being forced awake by the rumbling of her tummy, and the baby inside just wanted strawberries. After eating a stack of strawberry waffles topped with strawberry syrup, she had gone for the strawberry yogurt and freshly cut strawberries. “Why are you craving this one fruit, little one?” Botan questioned, rubbing her tummy. “Not that I’m complaining. At least you’re not making me crave pickles dipped in pudding or something like that.”

“That would be strange, even for you, woman.” Botan turned beat red and observed a sleepy-looking fire demon. “As is talking to yourself.”

The ferry girl giggled nervously. “Well, good morning, Hiei. What are you doing up so early?”

The fire demon was quiet for a moment, but he merely expressed, “Couldn’t sleep.”

Botan frowned in concern. “Why not?”

Hiei glanced at her, but decided against telling her the reason he was awake. He knew this woman, and she would definitely take it personally and probably feel guilt over it. “It’s not important,” he answered as honestly as he could. He could see in the woman’s eyes that she was skeptical, but she didn’t push him, and for that he was thankful. He was trying to spare her feelings, after all.

With that question out of the way, Botan began to tell him the things she read about the baby, what her book told her was happening to their child. Hiei actually didn’t mind listening to her chatter. He listened with patience, his core feeling at ease as her warm and loving voice soothed him, lulling him to sleep. He found himself enjoying the animated way she talked about the baby, and relaxed at the thought that he’d be leaving his son in good and capable hands when he finally did leave.

“And then it started telling me some stuff about this snoring symptom. But at least we don’t have to worry about that. I haven’t started that gem yet.” A laugh escaped her.

Well, Hiei was up again, his core jolted. Did she just bring up the topic he was avoiding? Nope, he was too tired to deal. It was best he retreat to his room for the time being.

Botan was startled by the abrupt manner in which Hiei stood and pouted. “What? What did I say?”

“Nothing,” Hiei lied.

“You know…I don’t believe you,” Botan accused haughtily.

Hiei scoffed. “I could care less about what you believe. I’m going back to bed.”

“Why?” Botan asked, this time sounding concern, and then she remembered. “Oh right, you didn’t sleep last night. Is something bothering you?”

A bead of sweat formed on Hiei’s face, and he wiped it away. “No. Just let it go, woman.”

But Botan wasn’t one to let things go. She was nosy and intrusive, and she managed to sneak past his guard and appear before him, studied his face as his crimson eyes widened and he stumbled back. The ferry girl instantly noticed the dark circles under the demon’s eyes, and she figured out his dilemma. “You haven’t been sleeping for many nights… Hiei, what’s wrong?”

“I told you, it’s nothing,” he hissed, trying to put distance between the two. He really couldn’t handle her being that close.

“I don’t understand. What changed in the last few days?” Botan pondered, noticing Hiei’s eyes darting to her book for a fraction of a second. Realization dawned on her, and her eyes widened. “No…”

“Woman, don’t…”

“H…Have I been snoring?”

Hiei’s eyes met watery amethyst, and he knew that it was the end of the line. He grimaced, reluctantly informing the woman that she really had begun to snore at night. She was clearly shocked, but her shock soon shifted to total dismay. Completely unprepared for her outburst, Hiei could only cover his ears as the ferry girl wailed, “I really am as sexy as a hippo in a thong!”

What did she say?

“W-what are you…? That’s just… What does that…?” Hiei could not even form words to respond to that notion. “Grrr, stop being absurd, woman!”

Hiei quickly fled the scene, Botan still crying over the most ridiculous and completely unrelated thing she ever could. What did that have to do with snoring? And why would that make her sob? His mind couldn’t even form one coherent thought or sentence as he slammed himself into his room, determined to catch at least a small wink of sleep. That is, if the woman would stop her horrendous crying. He sighed in frustration and mentally groused one thought. I’m not mentally equipped to deal with this. He threw himself down on the bed and silently prayed that the woman would shut up so that he could get at least one hour of rest.

Around lunch time, Botan felt really hungry. Hiei finally got some sleep when the woman quieted down and felt refreshed around that time, so he offered to go out, and the two headed to a random restaurant of the woman’s choosing. Neither brought up earlier, although Botan felt guilty and Hiei did not want a repeat of her crying. He gave up trying to understand what hippos and thongs had to do with anything.

Hiei couldn’t help but watch the ferry girl as she walked, a happy spring to her step once they were outside. She unknowingly radiated so many good vibes that even strangers couldn’t help but look at her and smile. Hiei felt like maybe he was imagining the last part, but as he observed her he found her to be stunning. She looked so bright and cheerful despite all that was happening in her body, as if nothing could damper her spirit. It was attractive to him.

He was about to call her attention when a strange woman approached them, so excited, accosted Botan, and asked her about the baby. The fire demon couldn’t help but glare at the human, his body ready to attack if she got any closer. When the woman touched Botan, he almost acted, especially when Botan looked so fearful and embarrassed. Both were distracted when a younger woman ran up and removed the woman’s hand from Botan’s more defined swell. The ferry girl blushed and backed up after the girl pulled the older woman away. “Sorry about that,” she apologized with an awkward laugh before she flashed the older woman an admonishing look. She regarded Botan with an empathetic smile. “My mother just loves babies and gets a little carried away.”

The explanation served to calm Botan, and she joined the younger woman in nervous laughter, assuring her it was fine. Botan waved the two off, the young woman still scolding her mother as they walked away. The ferry girl’s attention shifted to Hiei who looked like he was ready to kill. She needed to snap him out of it. “Hiei?” His eyes snapped over to her, and she smiled. “Well…that was certainly different, wasn’t it?”

“I should have killed her.” His voice was firm as he made the statement, and Botan knew he meant it.

A sigh escaped her, and they continued their walk. “She’s human, so it’s better you didn’t,” he was reminded. “Besides, it was harmless. I guess I’m going to have to get used to warding people off.” She flashed him a patient, yet embarrassed smile. “I bet out friends are gonna get like that soon.”

Hiei shook his head. “No self-respecting creature would do something like that.”

Botan shrugged. “We’ll see.”

Of course, later that day, Kuwabara was the one to prove Hiei’s statement false, and Hiei glowered at him from the other side of the room. Hiei had no idea what it was about this week that had humans clamoring around Botan trying to touch her stomach. It just felt wrong. Thankfully, Yukina was doing a good job of telling everyone not to crowd the blushing Botan. Shizuru was the one to pull her brother away.

“I’m sorry,” the redhead stated. He rubbed his head nervously. “I can’t help it. It’s just exciting.”

“It’s really all right,” Botan assured him. “I don’t mind.” Her hands went to her abdomen, now. “This little one can apparently hear and maybe even feel what’s going on. Besides, it’s better you than strangers on the street.” Hiei had to admit that there was truth to that statement.

Kuwabara grinned at her words before Yusuke called all the guys in the kitchen to let the girls have their ‘girl talk’ time while he cooked. He admitted he wanted the company. Besides, Hiei did not want to be privy to whatever the women talked about. He overheard once, and they clearly had no shame.

Once alone, the girls gathered around Botan, and the ferry girl felt very edgy when all eyes were on her. “Y-yes?”

Shizuru was the one to ask. “So how’s it going between you and flame boy?”

At that, Botan smiled. It was going really well save the fact that she was keeping Hiei awake at night. She decided not to discuss that. Knowing she was snoring was humiliating enough, and poor Hiei had been trying to keep it a secret from her. She didn’t know why, but she assumed it was to protect her. He really was a sweet guy.

So she answered honestly. “Things have been going well. He’s been going with me to all my appointments and has offered to go out with me during the day, so we’ve been getting out of the apartment more.”

“Has he changed his mind about staying?” Keiko asked, her voice hopeful for Botan’s sake.

Botan answered with a slight shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t said anything. But…I think he will.” A sincere smile graced the woman’s features. “He’s been really attentive since my last appointment. I’m really hoping he stays with us.”

Yukina’s concern was etched away, and she couldn’t help but match Botan’s smile. “Like I said before, I really hope he does stay, for you and for the baby, of course. But honestly, I miss him.”

“We understand,” Botan offered.

Keiko, though, didn’t. “Um…guys, what are you talking about?” she asked, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Botan gently slammed her fist into her other hand. “Oh, right! You don’t know yet, do you?”

“Seeing as none of us have said anything…” Shizuru muttered.

Yukina smiled over at the human and finally decided to let her in on the secret. “Don’t tell Hiei I know. He still has no idea that I do, but he is actually my twin brother.”

Keiko’s eyes widened, but her mind made the connections, and it all made sense. “I promise I won’t say anything,” she assured the ice maiden, “but I have to say that explains a lot.”

The smell of Yusuke’s cooking ended the conversation, especially when Yusuke called them in. Botan’s stomach rumbled, earning the other women’s attention. She laughed it off and told her friends that lately she had been starving. Proof that her child was growing.

While the girls discussed Hiei, the guys had just been talking about random stuff. That was until Kuwabara interjected a question, a question that nearly ruined Hiei’s indifferent mood.

How was his and Botan’s relationship going…

Hiei was about to unload his fury on the meddlesome oaf. He always found a way to bring that up. Thankfully for them both, Yusuke was the one to interject, telling Kuwabara what Hiei told him, and he looked to the fire demon for confirmation. Although Hiei didn’t like being discussed, he nodded to the former detective. At least that would shut Kuwabara up about this supposed relationship. He still intended to leave. There was nothing to tell.

Though Kuwabara was stunned, Kurama didn’t miss a beat, and that soured Hiei’s mood even more. “Is this true? Do you really intend to leave them?”

Hiei nodded. “I am not needed here.”

“Maybe you think so,” Kuwabara muttered, earning a heated glare, “but that’s not true. If you want my advice—”

“I don’t.”

“And I know I was forceful on you doing right by her,” Kuwabara continued, not even hearing the fire demon. “Look, I never expected you adjust so well…none of us did.” Hiei’s eyes narrowed when neither the fox nor detective disagreed. “But you proved me wrong. You just seem more centered now than you were before. You shouldn’t waste that feeling. Just spend time with her, Hiei, doing simple things, like eating meals together or going for walks with her.” Hiei wasn’t going to tell the psychic that he was already doing just that. “See how you feel in her presence. If at any moment you feel calm around her, maybe accept that you don’t have such a bad thing going on.”

Because Hiei had already been participating in those activities, and because he already was aware he felt calm around the woman, he realized that Kuwabara had been giving him some sound advice. Unfortunately, where Botan could offer him much, he could not offer her any more than he already had, what he already was. His chest constricted, and the realization was just too much to bear in that moment. His expression became nearly neutral, but he stare down at the table harshly. This is all he ever could be, and he didn’t feel like that was enough, not for his child and definitely not for Botan, but he wasn’t going to tell Kuwabara that.

Kurama and Yusuke could sense a darkness settle in the room. The two nodded along in agreement with Kuwabara, but they could tell Hiei was at his limit. Yusuke was the one to dispel the mood and discussion. “Okay, come on now. We sound like a bunch of girls.” His attention shifted to the living room. “Speaking of…meal’s ready!”

Moments later, the girls entered the kitchen and sat down at the table, joining the boys. Hiei eyed Botan and instantly relaxed, once again proving Kuwabara’s mutterings accurate. He knew he should ignore the self-proclaimed ‘Warrior of Love’s’ advice, but he already knew something. He wanted to be around the ferry girl. Still, even that wouldn’t change his final decision. When the time came, he was going to have to let her go.

Night fell quickly, and Botan and Hiei were back at the apartment. Hiei said nothing the entire way home, though that was normal. Botan could tell that something was bothering him, though, for he seemed to be brooding. In any case, she decided not to bring it up, and they went their separate ways when they returned home.

Botan fell asleep almost instantly, but later she was woken up by a terrible nightmare. She frowned down at her chest, remembering the awful part of her dream where despite supposedly being able to feed her child, her body wasn’t producing milk, and her son was taken away from her. It was a stupid dream, but she still felt anxious. Obviously, her breasts had grown. The book warned that she could even go up three cup sizes. She felt so pathetic for letting something like that get the better of her.

Now, she needed to get back to sleep, but she was wide awake. She got up and stretched, to alleviate that periodic leg pain she had been experiencing, and quietly left the room. Actually, she was about to go to Hiei’s room and knock, but she decided against it. She had been keeping the fire demon up lately, and waking him wasn’t an option for her. A sigh escaped her. What was she doing? After a moment of internal deliberation, she turned away from the door and went to sit in the living room. Her thoughts drifted to the future, wondering what it held for her. The nightmare made her feel uncertain again about her capabilities of being a mother. She didn’t know how to do this alone.

Unbeknownst to her, as she nestled herself on the couch, Hiei had been awake, and he had been keeping watch over her with the Jagan. He saw everything, including her doubt, but he did not have any words of comfort to offer her. Not this time.

Chapter Text

Botan yawned loudly as she read a passage in her book that told her the baby was already starting to master the art of yawning. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. The power of suggestion really was a tricky thing. But she wanted to know more about what would happen this week. She was already waiting for her little one to start moving. Even the book said, sooner or later, she would be able to feel him twisting, rolling, kicking, and punching. A giggle escaped her. He already sounded a little like Hiei.

“What’s so funny?”

The ferry girl jumped and sheepishly looked over her book, hiding her amused grin. Hiei’s crimson eyes were on her, so intense and indicating no-nonsense. “Nothing,” she lied, a chime to her voice. “I’m just reading about how much our little one is growing.” She turned the book so that Hiei could see. “It says his nervous system is developing rapidly now. Isn’t that exciting?”

Hiei’s eyes left her form and tentatively roved the book in covert interest. He didn’t want to admit that he found anything about the pregnancy fascinating, at least not to anyone but himself. He stealthily and quickly read over the complex information of how the nervous system was developing and what functions were activating. The child, according to the book, was developing his senses of touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. He was starting to understand why Hanako stated that the child would be able to hear voices. Given his background, indeed, it was possible that the brat had awareness to everything going on around him just like Hiei himself had.

“Hn,” he grunted, turning away. Wryly, he added, “Fascinating.”

Botan giggled, not taking Hiei’s gruffness to heart. She knew that he had come such a long way that not even a little disinterest bothered her. He went with her to her appointments, stayed with her when she asked, and celebrated with her over the fact that they were having a son. Hiei adjusted so much better and quicker than she ever expected. At one time, she believed he never would. Back then, she thought Hanako may have been right and that she should have asked Hiei to leave. Now, she was thankful she hadn’t. Above all, Hiei was her friend and teammate, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

Dropping her feet from the footstool, Botan moved to get up and stretch. Of course, when she did, she felt a sharp pang in her lower back. She had to hold on to the couch to steady herself as she released a yelp. Hiei’s eyes were still on her, his brow furrowed in confusion and concern. She had been fine just a second ago, and now she was hunched over the couch breathing a bit heavily.

Botan tried to ignore the pain she had been feeling over the last couple of days for she knew it was another side effect. Hanako warned her about the back pain when she and Hiei met up with her and Kurama for lunch. It had been an interesting meal that happened by chance. It seemed their fox demon friend was quite the Casanova, and he asked the doctor out to a fancy restaurant, one of the ones Botan had been craving food from for a whole week. Hiei agreed to go to shut her up.

It was nice to spend time with Hanako among their friends, and Kurama seemed happy, though Botan could see the gears in his mind turning trying to figure the sensitive woman out. Their banter was refreshing. Botan could see their relationship going somewhere. She voiced her musings to Hiei who simply ignored her when they returned home.

Anyway, during that meal, Hanako asked Botan when she sat down and huffed if she had been experiencing backaches. Botan had, but she had been trying to hide the symptom. Hiei’s eyes were on her then, and she was sure all three of her friends at that table knew she lied when she said she didn’t. Hanako went with it, stating that she probably would soon on account of her body’s shifts. Her uterus was growing, shifting her center of gravity, and that meant her lower back was pulled forward while the abdomen was thrust out. At the same time, this hormone, relaxin, was relaxing all of her ligaments and loosening joints. It sounded horrifying, and Botan stopped her doctor from saying any more than that and then shifted the conversation to learning what she and Kurama had been up to before lunch.

She felt Hiei’s eyes on her then and ignored them, but now she couldn’t hide it anymore. She was in pain. Her book suggested that she sit with her feet elevated as Hanako suggested her last appointment. When she stood to do the dishes or work in the kitchen, she placed one foot on a low stool to take the pressure off her back and hips. She even found a way to do so in the shower. She even took some nice, warm baths when it was particularly horrible. Still, she refused to complain about it. If she did, all that stuff that Hanako said about weak joints would come back to the forefront of her mind.

“What’s wrong?”

Botan flinched when she heard Hiei speak his thoughts so calmly with the underlying tone of unease. “It’s nothing,” she lied. “I just…got up a little too fast is all.”

“Hn,” Hiei scoffed. “You’re a terrible liar, woman. You’re in pain. That stuff the witch told us has been affecting you.”

“She’s not a witch, Hiei,” Botan scolded. “She’s a psychic. There’s a difference.”

“Whatever,” Hiei replied. “Point is, you’ve been hiding this pain from me. Why?”

“Just leave it alone, please,” Botan requested. “I’m fine. I’m just going to lie down for a little while, okay?”

“Fine,” Hiei responded patiently. Still, his single word made Botan’s expression fall. He amended it. “Go rest.”

Botan smiled at the fire demon and nodded. “Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

The ferry girl happened to set her book on the table before leaving the room, and Hiei’s eyes went directly to it. He waited until he heard her bedroom door close before he moved to the couch and grabbed the book. These symptoms Botan exhibited were highly uncomfortable to her, and they were not going away. Hiei had been noticing each tensed moment or sharp intake of breath. At first, he thought it to be the dizziness, but then Kurama’s lady friend brought up this new symptom Hiei was clueless over. Botan dismissed it, but he knew she was feeling something especially when she was starting to move slower than normal.

He expected she’d come to him and tell him about this new problem instead of trying to ignore her pain, but that talk never came. Instead, she wanted to go out, even when he knew she was feeling terrible. At night, he’d hear her crying, tossing and turning in bed trying to get comfortable because she could no longer sleep on her back, definitely not on her stomach, and not on one of her sides. He stayed up now, not because of snoring, but because Botan was miserable. And then in the daylight, she hid it well, and she had yet to tell him the problem.

With her silence, Hiei figured the book had some wonderful advice that would ease her symptoms, and really it was only to try to relieve pressure on her back. She could only do that so much, and that did not help her sleep. In addition, it was possible Botan was suffering from heartburn. Hiei noticed her appetite waning slightly the last couple of days. It wasn’t enough to make a serious difference in hers and the baby’s health, but now it made sense. He was glad he picked up her guide. It told him the foods she needed to avoid and the pills, something called ‘Tums’, which would alleviate the nausea and boost her calcium intake. Hanako mentioned something about that, too, for her bones. To top that off, her blood pressure could still be low, and dizziness was still a symptom in addition to everything else. Human bodies, even the one given to the ferry girl, were incredibly brittle. No wonder she needed to take extra time to rest.

Although Hiei had withdrawn slightly, he realized that Botan was becoming more and more dependent on someone else. For right now, that someone else had to be him. She was starting to have difficulties getting around no matter how much she tried to hide it. Eating was going to become a chore. Her energy level was going to go down greatly. She needed rest if she wanted to survive the rest of this process. Hiei needed to step up and take on more responsibility.

It brought his mind back to his own guide. For once, it actually suggested something useful for the week. He hadn’t realized when he read it that it was prepping him for the fact that Botan would have this heartburn thing. Whoever wrote that chapter must have related, for it suggested taking on cooking roles to assist the woman. It would take a lot of pressure off of her, plus he had a guide on what not to feed her. Both books stated that spicy foods were off the menu unless the woman was craving it. Since she was no longer begging to go to the loud Mexican restaurant he’d been avoiding, that seemed about right. Anything with a strong taste like Caesar salad, sushi, seared fish, or anything greasy would not be good for her either. Hiei almost laughed when rare meat was mentioned. Unfortunately, that and sweet things would forever be what the woman craved, the former due to the baby’s demonic nature. Thinking of that reminded Hiei of that chilling heartbeat. He shook the thought from his head.

Anyway, back to the books, they, again, both stated that Botan didn’t need to eat large meals since the doctor’s orders were to eat five meals a day. He could make something simple, something that would be easy on the woman’s stomach. It was the least he could do considering she was the one feeling the brunt of the pregnancy. Where his internal struggles were all mental, Botan’s were mental, physical, and external. She needed a break.

Hiei’s eyes moved to the clock. It was late morning, so most likely Botan would be ready to eat when she got up again. Feeling sluggish, she wouldn’t take out any kind of food or want to make anything. Maybe, just this once, he’d listen to his stupid guide. After all, the information actually did seem to correlate to their current situation save the fact that they weren’t a couple and he wasn’t her partner.

The fire demon went to the refrigerator to see what they had, and he noticed that there was quite a bit of fruit, mainly the strawberries Botan had been craving. He had once seen Kurama’s human mother throw a whole bunch of fruit together, cutting all of it to be put into some kind of ‘salad’. He figured Botan would appreciate that since she really didn’t want to eat much. At least it was something.

It was simple enough to make, took virtually no time, so Hiei placed his concoction back in the fridge and went to check on Botan. He found her in her room, sitting in a chair with her head draped down. She didn’t look comfortable as she slept, but at least she was sleeping. Quietly, Hiei crossed the room and sat down on the edge of her bed, arms crossed as he stared upon the sleeping woman. Her brow was creased, supporting his thought that she was uncomfortable. A part of him wanted to reach out, but he refrained from doing so. Instead, he saw a throw blanket next to him. He took the blanket and went to cover her, and her pained expression smoothed. She must have been cold too. Summer was starting to come to an end. They had some strangely cold days during the week.

Botan whispered out Hiei’s name as he moved to leave, but he knew she was still asleep. This was not the first time something like this happened. Like the other times, Hiei did not answer. He could not get her used to the idea that he would always be there, even when she sounded so helpless. He continued his stride when nothing else escaped her lips and decided to get some rest himself. Before he exited the room, however, he felt a sharp pang in his mind, and he knew who it was. He froze again as the Jagan picked up the sensation. It seemed his brat wanted his attention. Go to sleep, he mentally hissed. Leave your mother and I be.

Strangely enough, the child listened, and all was quiet again.

About an hour later, Botan woke up and noticed the blanket on her. She smiled, knowing that Hiei checked up on her. Every so often, especially lately, she’d find herself asleep randomly, too exhausted to grab anything, but when she would wake, she would feel all warm and cozy. There was only one other person in the apartment, but neither of them mentioned his simple acts of kindness. She deeply appreciated them, though. He really didn’t have to do any of that for her.

She found Hiei sitting at the table, his mouth to his hands and his elbows on the table. He looked to be in a daze, his eyes a bit pensive. Botan wondered what he could be thinking about, but she decided not to pry. If he felt it necessary, he would open up to her. “Hey,” she greeted, and he flinched in surprise. His crimson eyes met hers, and she smiled. “What’s going on?”

Hiei didn’t answer. Instead, he motioned to the fruit salad on the table. He woke up a little while ago and decided to eat while waiting for Botan. “Lunch,” he stated after a moment of silence, the sight of perplexity dancing in Botan’s eyes. “You should eat.”

“Did you make that for me?” Botan questioned, awed.

“For us, yes,” Hiei stated. “You haven’t been eating much. You need nutrition, unless you want a repeat of the last time you didn’t eat.”

Realization flickered in Botan’s eyes. She hadn’t really noticed how little she was eating because she just felt so sick all the time now. She never thought about how her lack of intake would look to Hiei. Botan closed the gap between them and took Hiei aback as she stood right in front of him and placed her hand on his arm. The fire demon was frozen under her touch, paralyzed, but she didn’t notice. “It’s nothing like that,” she told him. “It’s just…I’ve been having a little reflux and nothing has been appealing to me. I should have said something, but it’s silly.”

Hiei cleared his throat and pulled away from her. “Silly? You think being faced with another pregnancy symptom is silly? You’re an idiot.”

Botan smiled at that. “Maybe I am,” she replied before she took a seat across from him at the island. “In any case, you don’t have to worry. I’ve been doing the best I can with eating. This fruit is probably all I’ll be able to handle.”

Hiei shoved the bowl of fruit salad to her then, his eyes narrowed at the stupefied ferry girl. His expression was dark as he said, “We’re not going anywhere until you eat.” When the woman made no move to eat and continued to gaze upon Hiei, he growled out, “What?”

“I’ll be honest,” Botan murmured, her voice full of interest before she grinned. “You and Yukina are exactly alike.” The remark bewildered Hiei, and he wondered where exactly a senseless thought like that had come from. It was as if the woman read his mind when she explained, “A while back she was adamant about me eating and wouldn’t let me leave the table or do any work until I ate. I have to admit, it was a bit unsettling being watched so forcefully.” A sigh escaped her, her eyes softening as she told him, “Not that I don’t enjoy our shared meals, but it’s okay if you leave the table. You’re making me a bit nervous staring at me like that. I feel a little self-conscious.”

Once again, the candor in which Botan spoke did all sorts of things to Hiei that he didn’t particularly like, and he was actually thankful she dismissed him so he could put some distance between them. “Fine,” he responded, “but the bowl better be empty later.”

“Don’t worry; it will be,” Botan assured him, giving him a mock salute. “If I don’t eat it all now, I’ll finish it for a snack later.” Hiei nodded and turned to walk away. “And Hiei…” He paused and looked back to see the woman beam at him, her eyes radiating with warmth. “Thank you.”

“Hn,” was Hiei’s reply before he disappeared into his room.

Botan’s eyes left his door and went back to her sweet meal. Before she could eat another strawberry, her eyes widened as she realized she forgot to talk to Hiei about pediatricians. Her eighteenth week chapter suggested interviewing potential doctors that would one day treat her baby. She had many questions for them like where they were located in reference to the apartment, which was affiliated with the hospital they lived closest to, what vaccinations would be needed, and honestly, which would be equipped to deal with their special situation. Botan was very thankful when Hanako gave her a list of some colleagues of hers who were familiar with the supernatural. She wanted to ask Hiei his opinion on the matter, but he left so quickly. She would just have to ask him later.

As promised, Botan managed to finish the fruit salad, but it was later in the evening when she was watching television. She was finishing up that last bit, eating slowly and chewing thoroughly as her book warned her to do. She was sitting upright instead of lying down like she wanted to do, and she took to sleeping with her head elevated, anything to help with the indigestion. She only wished that the pain she felt in her back at times would leave her alone. That was the only thing she couldn’t fix, but she did everything she could to alleviate those muscles.

It was getting late, but Botan actually felt quite comfortable and drifted off to the sound of some T.V. drama. Eventually, she was brought out of her half-daze by the sound of a door opening. She jolted up, startled by the sound. Panic filled her as she looked around the dark room. She nearly whimpered, and let out a yelp when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

“Woman, relax. It’s me.”

A breath of relief escaped Botan, and she leaned her head back against the couch. Her eyes adjusted to the image of Hiei in front of her trying to calm her down. “H-hi,” she weakly greeted.

Hiei didn’t respond as he removed his hand from her shoulder. “It was not my intention to startle you.”

“I-it’s okay,” Botan stammered as she shifted to sit up better. Her lips curved into a weak smile as she gazed at her fire demon friend. His gaze was intense, smoldering even. She couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes away from his.

Out of nowhere, Botan doubled over. A new sensation took over, and she was in complete awe.

“What’s wro—gah!”

Botan nearly pulled Hiei over; her hand pressed his into her abdomen. He stiffened under her touch, but he didn’t pull away quick enough. A powerful jab was felt against the woman’s belly, and he looked up to see Botan’s amethyst eyes shining with tears of joy. “Isn’t it amazing? This is the first time I felt him kick.”

Hiei felt a couple more little kicks, his mind whirling. He felt dizzy; a strange feeling of anxiety overtook him. He pulled away swiftly and stood. The woman stared at him, stunned and a little hurt, but he couldn’t worry about her emotions, not when he couldn’t handle his own. “I didn’t feel anything,” he scoffed bitterly, lying to her.

He could see that he both offended and upset the ferry girl. Thankfully, she said nothing as he hastily retreated. Hiei nearly slammed the door behind him. His hand gripped his hair hard. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. After all, it wasn’t news to him that there was a living, breathing creature resting safely inside Botan. He had seen it on the screen at the doctor’s, felt it in the presence of his mind. It shouldn’t be news to him that the child was real. No, that wasn’t what had him panicking like this. The child was real, he rationally knew that, but Hiei was at war with himself over one aspect of this pregnancy.

He was going to be a father. He, Hiei, the imiko, Jaganshi, and master of the darkness technique, was going to have a child with the ferry girl.

Hiei had been avoiding these kinds of thoughts. Honestly, his plans to leave after the birth were still fresh in his mind, but it didn’t mean that the child would not be his. He would leave, which would be better for the ferry girl and their son, but the boy would still be his. The reality of the situation was finally settling in. When the baby was born, that would be it. A life in Demon World would not be suitable for a human child, even if he was his human child, and Hiei would not return to the human realm. That thought alone, strangely enough, left Hiei feeling hollow. He figured it was due to the fact that he could always come and go as he pleased.

Thinking about this was getting him nowhere. It was better if he left it all alone. There was nothing to worry about, and no need to change his plans. Everything would end up like it should. At least, that’s what the fire demon was going to have to get used to telling himself.

It was always a good day when the girls came to visit Botan. Truthfully, she was grateful for their presence since Hiei had been absent the last few days. Of course, he was still considerate. Her fire demon friend was always gone before she awoke, but there would be prepared food in the fridge. He was starting to get a little more creative, too. That day, he made her a chicken salad sandwich. She wasn’t even aware he knew how to prepare food, but she did see a cookbook out and he watched her make the same thing before in the past. The sandwich was rather tasty and well needed.

Keiko and Shizuru showed up a little while after Botan had her lunch. They brought some delicious snacks, ones she was sure her doctor wouldn’t exactly approve, but her friends didn’t come over all the time, and when they did in the past Botan had been the epitome of health. As Yusuke once implied, it was okay to indulge every once in a while. The girls clearly weren’t going to tell on her. When she thought of that, she thought of the ice cream shop Yusuke took her to. Part of her wanted to go again. Maybe Hiei would go with her before the summer was over.

“So, how have you been feeling?” Keiko asked, her voice laced with concern.

A smile reassured her friend. “Oh, I’m doing okay,” Botan replied. “I get these backaches, but I’ve been managing.”

“That’s good to hear,” the human happily chimed.

Shizuru took one of the chocolates and put it into her mouth. Boy she really wanted a cigarette, but she avoided smoking around her friend for the sake of her and the baby. A sigh escaped her. “And how’s flame boy in all of this?”

Botan hadn’t wanted that question to come up. Although Hiei continued to be helpful, he also returned to being distant, and Botan didn’t like it. Because she took quite a long time to answer it, the girls shared knowing glances. Botan finally decided to admit some of it. “Well, I honestly don’t know,” Botan expressed. “We were doing fine, but then he became so withdrawn again. Then he started helping me more with meal preparation, and he clearly is doing his part to help me, but I haven’t seen him for days. I just don’t understand.”

“Did something happen days ago?” Keiko questioned.

Well, a lot had happened days ago, Botan considered, but it was nothing that she believed would send Hiei back into his avoidance behavior. Of course, when she let him feel the baby kick—a first experience they shared together—Hiei acted quite strangely. She was certain he lied when he said he didn’t feel the kick. She certainly did, felt both their hands move. The woman had no idea what it meant or why Hiei would say something like that or act so callous. She couldn’t be sure what it meant, so she decided not to say anything to the girls. “Not that I can think of,” she answered, the other two unconvinced. “But enough about me,” she laughed, forcing a smile. “To be honest, I’m starting to feel self-conscious with all of you focusing so much on me. What’s new with you two? Shizuru, are things going well with that nice waiter? Keiko, what about you and Yusuke?”

Shizuru shrugged. “We’re keeping it casual right now. Not much to tell.”

“There’s not much to tell on my end, either,” Keiko interjected. “Yusuke is Yusuke, as always. We’ve both been quite busy, him working late at the cart. I guess it being the end of the summer, everyone wants to get some more of his food. I’ve been helping my parents at the restaurant and working. We’ve at least had the nights together.”

There was a teasing glint in Botan’s eyes, and she decided to put Keiko in the spotlight. “Really? Does that mean we can expect you to start having kids soon?”

Keiko blushed, but she laughed it off instead of vehemently denying it. “Maybe,” Keiko giggled. “To be honest, Yusuke is not so secretly really excited over you having a child that he’s been really attentive lately. I think he wants to start trying, and to be honest, I’d be very happy about that.”

Shizuru grinned, sincerely offering, “Congrats, kid. Despite Yusuke still acting like a teenager, I could see you two being good parents.”

“Me too,” Botan agreed. She looked down to and rubbed her baby bump. “And then this little one will have a playmate.” The thought brought a sort of peace over Botan as she imagined her son and Yusuke’s child, boy or girl, getting themselves into trouble, maybe even sporting a Yusuke/Kuwabara type rivalry or even doing some detective work of their own like she and Yusuke experienced back in her friend’s early days as spirit detective. “In any case,” she chimed, “that would make me really happy. As Yusuke said, I’d love a little niece or nephew to spoil.”

Keiko laughed and shook her head; Shizuru chuckled beside her. “The two of you,” she chided jokingly.

Botan responded with a chuckle. “Well, we all knew Yusuke was a big softy at heart.”

Nonchalantly, Shizuru stated, “Puu was a testament to that.” The three laughed at the memory before Botan silenced and paled.

Keiko looked to the ferry girl. “What’s wrong?”

“Yusuke was right…” Botan murmured softly. “We really do bring up Puu too much!”

And then all three girls ended up chortling together. They didn’t plan on stopping that running joke any time soon.

Chapter Text

Ever since he felt the baby’s first kick, Hiei had been avoiding the woman. It had been about a weak, and the normally confidant fire demon could not shake the feelings of inadequacy and, surprisingly, fear. He never felt fear before, not like this. Even over the course of the pregnancy, thus far, he hadn’t experienced this feeling. There was no way to understand why it was occurring now because of a simple movement.

Memories of the child’s kick, how it felt, and how he reacted before leaving Botan alone in the room overwhelmed him. Hiei swallowed not knowing what to do. There was no way he could continue on like this. This was not him, not at all. The fire demon warrior had been reduced to a nervous mess, and he hated it. He was starting to have even more of a burning hatred for the infernal reading material Kurama gifted him warning him over this exact feeling. There was nothing in that book, nothing he could do to alleviate this feeling in his core.

Hiei had been out training but returned to the apartment to find Botan humming and cleaning. His red eyes narrowed into a glare over what she was doing. Sure, she was using the homemade, pregnancy-safe solutions to clean, but he made it clear that he would take the cleaning chore upon himself. Why was she cleaning, especially without someone around to make sure she didn’t hurt herself, slip, or fall?

Botan noticed Hiei standing in the doorway and turned to smile at him. The fire demon was loathe to admit that a simple quirk of her lips made his gut curl with nervousness. “Welcome back,” she greeted him happily. He grunted in response, and she giggled, putting the spray bottle and rag down. “I guess you had a productive training session. You were gone when I woke up.” Hiei regarded her with a flat look but said nothing else. That didn’t seem to deter the ferry girl, though. She decided to tell him about her day despite the fact that he didn’t bother asking. She was a strange one.

“Anyway, so I woke up with all this energy,” she was explaining, “and I wanted to utilize it, be active, but I didn’t know what to do so I decided to clean.”

Well, that explained that. Hiei had taken notice to Botan’s activity lately. She had been feeling way more energetic during the past couple of weeks. Still, she hadn’t gotten out of the house much because of the pain she was feeling, and Hiei never thought to go out of his way to actually make plans with another to go and do something. His mind brought to him Kuwabara’s advice…

“Just spend time with her, Hiei, doing simple things, like eating meals together or going for walks with her. If at any moment you feel calm around her, maybe accept that you don’t have such a bad thing going on.”

That last part wasn’t something he wanted to revisit, and he had been doing these things already. Maybe he was going about this all wrong. An idea hit him from all the times he trained in the park. Even he could take notice of the happenings around him.

Botan realized Hiei hadn’t responded. Actually, it looked like he completely zoned out. She was about to ask him when crimson eyes shifted to hers and regarded her with some kind of question. “Yes?”

“If you still have this energy tomorrow,” he started, his voice even, “then come to the park with me when I train.”

The brightest smile lit Botan’s features, and Hiei’s stomach did backflips which he tried to ignore. The fire demon had never invited her to watch him train before, and she was absolutely taken with the idea. Clapping her hands together, she chimed, “Oh, that sounds lovely. We can have a picnic.”

Hiei sweat-dropped. Having a picnic wasn’t exactly his intention, but he saw people walking around the park paths often. The summer was drawing to a close soon, so there were many humans trying to get some last-minute sun. For that reason, Hiei had been training much deeper in the wooded area. Although a picnic wasn’t part of his plans, he didn’t fight the ferry girl on it. He was willing to do whatever she wanted, to an extent. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t want to wipe the joyous grin from her features.

It certainly was hot underneath the summer sun, and Botan couldn’t help but fan herself. She wondered how Hiei could stand it on top of being a fire demon and training. Watching him sweat like that wasn’t helping matters, especially because watching him was only serving to make her feel hotter. Her eyes shamelessly roved Hiei’s figure, her thoughts going further and further passed PG by the moment. She couldn’t tear her pools of amethyst away from him, not when it had been so long since she saw him in his element. Seeing him train so articulately was certainly a sight. A force compelled her not to look away from the father of her child.

Hiei could feel Botan’s eyes on him, studying him, and was a bit unnerved. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand why given her hormones. What was even more suffocating was the fact that she only seemed to look at him like that and not just anyone. It was truly disconcerting. However, if he had to deal with an internal dilemma and feelings of discomfort, he’d make her sweat, too. Smirking to himself, he decided to give her a good show and flexed his muscles methodically as he practiced his kata. He mentally snickered when her heard the ferry girl’s breath hitch. No, he really didn’t need the Jagan to understand her thoughts. She was too easy.

After some time, Hiei finally decided to take a break and moved to the blanket where Botan sat. He helped her to sit down before he started his intense workout considering the difficulties she was starting to have getting down to the ground. Thankfully, she was smart and hadn’t tried to get up. Instead, she looked like she had gotten quite comfortable despite the flush of her cheeks from Hiei’s earlier display.

The woman beamed at him, discomfort gone, and, between that and the sunlight, the demon could hardly look at her. He only tilted his head slightly to regard her when she offered him a drink. “Cucumber water?” she cooed gently as if she was trying to nurture him. Hiei merely nodded, took the cup, and downed its contents in one gulp. He had to admit, it was good.

Botan didn’t say anything about his uncouth display. She simply giggled over his action, her laugh not nearly as grating on his eardrums as it used to be, and filled his cup again with the water she had in her plastic, travel pitcher. He couldn’t help but watch her while she wasn’t looking directly at him. The ferry girl took this break as her cue to take out some roast beef sandwiches and fruit salad, both which were becoming her favorite household staples. She handed him a plate of food, and he slowly took it from her. The two ate quietly under the shade of a tree. Sitting there, in companionable silence…Hiei had to admit that if felt kind of nice.

Summer was coming to an end, it being the last week of August, so it was time for Botan to shop for her fall wardrobe. Shizuru, Keiko, and Yukina planned another outing to take Botan shopping. Though Botan had the energy, she still had the occasional dizzy spell or felt pain. Reluctantly, Hiei went with them feeling the incessant, and annoying, need to join to protect the woman. So, there he was, among the group of women and countless random humans, in a mall, brooding. He would have much rather spend his time training, although that did lead into another reason why he came. Lately, he had been sensing an increase in demonic energy nearby. It was most likely nothing. After all, passage between worlds was now open. Anyone could come and go as they pleased. Hiei grimaced, rethinking the change now that he thought about it.

Maybe free passage wasn’t such a good idea.

In any case, it didn’t affect him, much. He was strong enough to handle anything that came his way. In fact, that’s why Hiei felt more comfortable being near the woman and his sister despite the inconvenience. His near S class energy was enough to ward off any demons.

“Alright, girls,” Shizuru spoke as if she was getting ready for battle. “Fan out for some good outfits. Botan, any preferences?”

“Um, something nice and warm and cozy?” the ferry girl replied with uncertainty. Hiei regarded her with a neutral look, remembering when he looked in on her last time with the Jagan, how sad she was looking at herself then. She finished with a smile though, so perhaps she was in a bit better of a place.

“You heard the woman,” Shizuru said. “Time to hunt.”

“She’s being strangely overdramatic today,” Keiko chuckled when the older woman went off.

Yukina grinned and nodded. “She’s been in a very good mood lately.”

“That’s just great!” Botan exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “That must mean that things are going well between her and, um, Ethan.”

The ice maiden’s face fell. “Oh, she and Ethan haven’t been seeing each other anymore. Kazuma told me.”

“But I thought… Last week she said… Then who…?”

“Maybe it’s not a ‘who’,” Keiko pointed out. “Either way, Shizuru is starting to become as mysterious as Kurama these days.” As much as Hiei hated inane chatter and gossip, he mentally agreed with that statement.

“Well,” Botan sighed forlornly, her attitude jumping back up in seconds, “we should really get to looking around.”

“Sounds good,” the other two agreed.

Hiei’s eyes twitched, hoping this hell wouldn’t last much longer.

There were many pointers Botan’s book gave her about shopping for her fall maternity wear. She had a lot to think about, mainly for her comfort especially when she had so many painful symptoms. That’s why she wanted comfy stuff. Her guide suggested maybe getting a pair of Lycra maternity jeans or two, comfortable and form-fitting, grow-with-you jeans. They could go with anything like a blouse or button-down shirt, either paired with a cardigan. Botan heard that cardigan sweaters were really cozy. She figured maybe she’d go with one pair since she was only halfway through her pregnancy so they could be too small by her final months.

The book also suggested getting some leggings, but not to by the expensive maternity leggings since the regular ones would fit up until her due date, in January, as long as she got ones that were super stretchy. As the baby continued to grow, she could just adjust the waistband. It was as simple as that. The same went with her workout pants. They were made of Lycra so they could really stretch until she grew really big, and then she could adjust those too. Drawstring pajama bottoms were a must have for her also.

She found some cute sweaters, also, ones that had a lot of give. They were mostly neutral colors which fit with the season. Her eyes went to a burgundy cardigan, and she reached out to grab it. It looked roomy, and the color was beautiful. A grin appeared on her face…until she saw the price.

It was not an exaggeration to say that some of these maternity clothes were overpriced. The guidebook warned about that and said she could go with any cardigan or blazer, and she would just have to unbutton them when she got bigger. For some reason, though, she really did like that sweater, but she just couldn’t see herself getting something so expensive when she wasn’t the one paying for it. All of her friends continued to pull together to make sure she could buy food and clothes and all sorts of things. She shook her head. She would just have to find something else.

Botan left the sweater behind to go look at some scarves in the meantime. It would probably be very chilly during the fall, and it was best to make sure she kept herself and the baby warm. What Botan didn’t realize is that someone else noticed her eyeing the sweater. Hiei happened to be close by, and he saw the woman’s reaction including the sparkle in her eye when she spotted it. The woman looked at a tag and then walked away, sullen. The fire demon decided to check it out and see what was on a piece of paper that bothered her.

Apparently, it was cost.

Hiei’s brows furrowed. Why would she have let that stop her when Hanako always said that if she wanted something that would make her feel better about herself, she should go for it? It seemed that, since others were footing the bill, Botan felt the need to be noble. Well, it wasn’t like he was held to those constraints. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

The mall excursion took a few hours, and Botan was ready to drop when she got home. First, though, she needed to run to the bathroom and left her shopping bags in the living room. Botan and her friends found a ton of good clothes including some really large sweatshirts and a snuggly hoodie. Keiko found her a nice, wool maternity coat. It was pricey, but Keiko told the ferry girl that it was a must have and she’d get a lot of use out of it during the fall, even with some of the colder, November temperatures. Botan didn’t want any skirts or dresses. She was really used to being layered up in the cold air, flying in her trusty kimono. Besides, it’s not like she was working anywhere and needed business casual type clothes. No, what she got was more than enough.

Before returning to the living room to get her new purchases, Botan decided to lie down. Her back was really killing her. She could put everything away a little late. When she entered her room and flipped the switch to illuminate it, Botan was beyond surprised. All of her bags were already there, and there was something else that stunned her.

On her bed was the beautiful burgundy cardigan she had been eyeing in the store.

Her mouth dropped open, the woman completely surprised. There was only one explanation to this. Hiei got her the sweater. Not having any currency, that meant he probably stole it. She couldn’t even get upset when she realized that he had stolen something for her, that he noticed that she wanted it. A small grin appeared on her face as her mind admonished her for willingly going along with it.

To shut her mind up, Botan decided to try the sweater on, and then she snuggled into her bed, all nice and warm. It was truly the best gift, other than her child, that she had ever gotten. Hiei bestowed both to her.

It was predicted to be the last extremely hot day of summer, so Botan wanted to go out and enjoy it. She had a long list of to-dos starting with going to the park, then to a playground, which Hiei found to be both childish and infuriating since the area was inhabited by bratty, screaming, and crying children. After that excursion, they wandered into another part of town and ate at a new restaurant and then landed back to their neighborhood.

It was getting really hot, so Botan decided to indulge her sweet tooth. She lured Hiei to a local ice cream parlor, the one where Yusuke took her. The ferry girl saw Hiei grimace upon entering, most likely because of all the bright and playful colors.

“One scoop of rocky road with rainbow sprinkles,” Botan ordered, voice ringing through the store. She then looked to Hiei expectantly.

The fire demon eyed her distrustfully. “What?” he growled lowly through gritted teeth.

Botan smiled at him. “It’s your turn to order,” she answered.

Hiei glared at the woman before looking to the many tubs of the frozen concoction. A strange, bitter sensation too over him. He didn’t want it. “I refuse to eat snow.”

The man behind the counter flashed the fire demon a strange look. Even Botan looked perplexed, but she shook it off instantly and grinned. “That’s not snow, silly,” she sang. “It’s ice cream, just a cold dessert.”

Hiei was still uncertain, but then Botan claimed he’d love it. So he ordered the most basic flavor to appease her, and then the two sat by the window with their frozen treats. “So, what do you think?” Botan asked.

Surprisingly, the woman had been right. He thoroughly enjoyed this ice treat. At first, when he saw it, he could only think of the glacial village, but it wasn’t snow. It was much sweeter than that.

So, Hiei answered her. “This sweet snow stuff isn’t bad,” he stated.

Botan laughed lightly. “I told you it isn’t snow. It’s ice cream.”

“Hn. Same difference.”

Botan didn’t argue him. Instead, she decided to have a heart to heart. “You know,” she started earning Hiei’s full attention, “I had a really great day with you.” She completely missed the surprised twitch of his eyes. “With how you’ve been avoiding me, I thought I messed something up, so today was just what I needed to reassure myself that you aren’t mad at me.”

Hiei was stumped. “What makes you think I’ve been mad?”

Botan made a sound like ‘I don’t know’ as she shrugged. “Just, you’ve barely spoken to me since the day the baby kicked, and I thought maybe I overstepped my bounds.”

She was headed into dangerous territory, which made Hiei sweat. The fire demon swallowed uncomfortably and shook his head. “You didn’t,” he assured her. “It’s my own issue.”

“Oh, I see.” She sounded so understanding and sympathetic before she smiled again, her eyes soft. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” he curtly responded. “Just know it has nothing to do with you.”

“Well, alrighty then,” she chimed as if she hadn’t tried to tear the fire demon open. It should have been a relief to Hiei that she dropped the subject, but he only felt more anxious. The woman offered to be his confidant, when she had enough to deal with, to get whatever was getting to him off his chest.

Maybe he should have taken her up on her offer but, as soon as the thought came, he thought against it.

It was the first week of September, and thankfully it was still warm outside. Botan glanced out the window and smiled as she saw some kids meet up at the bus stop at the corner next to their building. They were laughing and playing, running around with their parents scolding them. The scene filled the ferry girl with warmth, and excitement bubbled in her chest. She placed a hand on her abdomen. “One day, that might be you,” she cooed lovingly, receiving a kick from her little one. “I can’t wait for you to come, but I just have to be patient.”

She figured she was more patient, though, because she was reading what was going on with her baby on a weekly basis. All of these moments seemed like little milestones, and so she always cooed her little accolades. Her little boy was growing strong and was already getting larger in both length and weight. The book stated he’d be having a growth spurt in her womb.

It fascinated her to read that a protective substance was forming around her baby called the ‘vernix caseosa’. It was a greasy substance, white in color, and made up of ‘lanugo’, an oil from the baby’s glanced and dead skin cells. The substance would protect her son’s sensitive skin from the amniotic fluid her body produced. It was hard to imagine all of this stuff happening inside her body.

Out of nowhere, Botan felt an unbelievable pain. “Ah!” she cried out in agony and moved to grip her leg. Despite rubbing it, she couldn’t get the pain to stop.

Hiei happened to enter the living room when he heard her scream. He thought maybe she was under attack, but he saw her grip her leg. Tears fell from her eyes. And so it begins…

What he was referring to was the constant leg cramps the woman would now be getting. He was with her the previous night as she was reading about them. After she went to bed, he continued to read about it. This would be another one of those painful symptoms in addition to the pain in her back. This process was getting more brutal by the day. Hiei was pretty certain, though, that this symptom was supposed to affect the woman at night, but he did remember that they could happen during the day. This is going to be hell… he thought bitterly.

In any case, Botan was probably too blinded by the pain to remember what to do. Hiei approached her, and the ferry girl looked over to him with teary eyes and sniffled. It was a pretty pathetic sight. “I-it hurts,” she stammered, thinking she was explaining the problem.

Hiei knelt down in front of her. He knew she wasn’t exaggerating. The book warned how badly these would hurt her, and most likely they would now start keeping her up at night—as if she needed another symptom that did that. It also told them what needed to be done.

Gently, Hiei extended her leg and removed her hand from it. He then moved his hand down to her ankle and started to slowly flex her ankle and toes back towards her shins. That was a good way to alleviate the pain. Botan’s erratic breathing started to normalize again, but she was still hurting, the cramp now an ache. “H-Hiei?” she called out questioningly, wondering what he did, but what he did next silenced her. Botan’s head fell back against her shoulders when she felt the fire demon gently massage the spot where her hand had been. He even added some heat to the spot, and the pain finally died down. She was so unbelievably thankful and relaxed now. “H-how did you know to do that?”

The answer was obvious for both of them, but Hiei didn’t answer. Even more surprising than his assistance was his next action. Hiei lifted Botan out of the seat, one arm underneath her shoulders and the other under her legs. The ferry girl eyed him strangely, but he looked as neutral as ever. “You should rest, now.”

“O-okay…” Botan whispered, still both happy and nervous when he was this close to her.

Hiei brought her back to her room and laid her on her bed. Botan whispered a soft ‘thank you’. The fire demon nodded and then left the room and resumed his day now that the ferry girl was taken care of.

He went to go pick up the book that had dropped to the ground, undoubtedly when she had felt that sharp pain. His curiosity caused him to take a glance at what she was reading. Of course, she had probably been reading the stuff about how the child was growing, but right underneath was a section of pointers, and Hiei couldn’t understand what any of it meant. In one line it was warning about possibilities of yeast infections (he had no clue what those were), and in another it was talking about a childbirth class. Crimson eyes widened. Why would the woman need to take a class on that? Why did the book want her to start researching now even when she wouldn’t be taking a childbirth class until the third trimester? What was a trimester, and why did he keep hearing and reading that word? He closed the book before he came up with anymore unanswerable questions.

Instead, he went to his own book, and his guide told him to prepare for childbirth. Hiei was confused. He didn’t think the child would be born for a while now, still. Was he wrong about that? Would he be leaving sooner than he thought?

Apparently not. As he read, the preparations the book was suggesting he assist with had nothing to do with the baby. The book was telling him to be as productive as possible and to assist his ‘partner’ with her ‘nesting’.

Sooner or later, the woman was going to want to start preparing the apartment for a baby which would include cleaning up whatever clutter there was, dusting, among other chores. It warned that she would have an adrenaline rush pushing her to do all this. Another week too late… Hiei mentally scolded the guide. He would have to keep a watch out for her overdoing it, keeping her from preparing her ‘nest’ in excessive ways. She might even want to start purchasing stuff for the baby really soon.

Hiei took a seat on the couch. His eyes roved over the information of what he should be doing during this time. There were going to be many days like this where the woman might be out of commission. It meant he wouldn’t be able to stray too far, even to train. As much as he didn’t want it, things in his life were about to change.

Chapter Text

A sigh escaped Botan as she leaned back against a tree. The warm weather managed to hold out through the weekend. Due to the loveliness of the day, the old spirit detective gang got together at another park, one closer to Kuwabara’s side of the city. It was a nice and peaceful outing, and Botan was thankful to be surrounded by all her friends. It was also the first time Hanako was meeting their entire group of friends. The girls had already taken a liking to her, instantly chatting up the doctor. Yukina remembered the woman as the doctor who took care of Botan when she was seriously ill which caused the ice maiden to have respect for her.

Hiei scoffed derisively as he watched from another spot near the group, up in the tree, and looked down at Botan and the group of women. It didn’t surprise him that Hanako earned respect among the group. After all, she was the mystery who ensnared the fox and the healer of the ferry girl. She was the one giving useful feedback and keeping the secrets of their child’s origins to herself. Apparently, there was a whole matter of doctor/patient confidentiality. Hiei was not the patient, though, and yet she respected his privacy as well. Plus, she did provide some entertainment where the fox was concerned. That was always something.

It had been so long since Botan got to spend time actually relaxing with her friends, so much so that Yusuke pulled her in for an unsuspecting hug playfully after teasing her. He must have missed her. And then all laughter ceased as Yusuke felt the baby kick for the first time. “Botan!” he exclaimed, earning everyone’s attention. “Did you just feel that?”

Botan smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, that’s been happening for a while now.”

“How long?” Yusuke asked, shocked.

The woman flashed him a sheepish smile. “About two weeks…”

Excitement was aroused again as everyone crowded Botan. She knew she should probably be overwhelmed, but honestly, she was happy to have her friends surrounding her. They were all eager to feel the little life inside her. The pregnancy became more real by the day.

Hiei continued to watch from his spot, slightly irritated that everyone was crowding the ferry girl aside from her doctor. Thankfully, the fox was the one corralling everyone back. The dirty look on Hiei’s face didn’t dissipate, not until he saw Yukina kneel down beside Botan. She politely asked if she could feel. Botan’s expression lit up as she nodded. The ferry girl knew what Yukina was to Hiei, and she probably wanted to keep her included for she was carrying her nephew. Seeing the joy in both their eyes as the child kicked filled Hiei with an emotion he couldn’t describe, and he quickly looked away. Whatever it was, he couldn’t handle it, and this outing had gone from unbearable to uncomfortable in mere moments.

He was ready to leave.

Days passed since their outing with the group, and Hiei had been out training, leaving Botan to her own devices. She did some yoga, but after she felt sluggish and drained. She managed to make herself something quick to eat before she returned to the couch and crashed for the remainder of the afternoon, or at least that was what she wanted to do.

She couldn’t sleep.

That was a symptom that came out of nowhere. Even when drained, she just couldn’t fall asleep. She didn’t know what it was that was keeping her up each night, other than pain, and even then she was able to sleep even a little bit. Now, it was just impossible. She forced herself to exercise, but even that she hadn’t done for long. She was so dang tired. She needed rest. The baby needed her to rest.

What was she going to do?

Hiei returned to the apartment hearing nothing but silence. He stretched out his senses to make sure that the eerie feeling he had was not due to any unwelcome visitors. There was no one around except for the ferry girl. His expression softened. Maybe she was finally sleeping. Hiei knew from the lack of snoring the last few nights that she was most likely being kept awake. Like her nights needed to get any rougher…

He went to her room, but he did not hear snoring. Instead, he heard the soft sounds of her crying. A sigh escaped him. She was growing more emotional by the day, and she was already emotional to start. He shook his head and entered the room. Botan gasped, not having expected anyone to enter her room. She was sitting up in bed, quietly crying because she felt like a failure for not being able to sleep. Her thoughts were traveling to dangerous territory when Hiei barged into her room. Honestly, a part of her was relieved.

Hiei could guess what the woman was putting herself through, and his hand gripped the handle a bit too hard. His eyes never left hers, and then she broke the heavy silence by asking, “How was training?”

He didn’t answer; instead, Hiei walked into the room. He stopped in front of her bed, Botan gaped at him. Uncharacteristically, Hiei held out his hand. Botan seemed even more confused. “Let’s go for a walk,” Hiei suggested. He hoped that would both tire her out and improve her mood. Something had to.

So, they went out and returned a while later, Botan completely wiped out. She could only make it to the couch, but she could not fall asleep. Hiei sat in a chair beside the couch, watching and hoping that the woman would fall asleep. After an hour with her eyes closed, Botan finally quit and hit her fist against the fabric, once again in hysterics. “What am I going to do?” Her voice cracked in distress. Hiei pitied her. “I just want to sleep!” she wailed. “Why can’t I sleep?”

Neither knew the answer to that, but that didn’t matter. They had to do something to get her to rest. She had little energy to begin with, and their child required a great deal of it. The ferry girl had to get some sleep or she would not survive all the hellish side effects and body aches.

Hiei didn’t know what possessed him to move, but he got up and went to sit beside Botan. The woman eyed him strangely and hopefully before Hiei wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to his side. Her head rested against his shoulder, and his hand was on her back. He gently rubbed comforting circles and lulled Botan into a state of peace. Eventually, he heard her snores, and his head tilted to take in her relaxed features. A sigh of relief escaped him. This would help her.

After some time, he moved to lie her gently down on the couch, but the second he tried to leave the room, she awoke and murmured his name so pathetically. Apparently, it was his presence and warmth that lulled her to sleep, and that frustrated Hiei to no end. It meant that Botan would need to stay with him for the time being until whatever this sleepless wave was passed.

This went on for only a few days, and the two settled into a routine of some sorts. Botan and Hiei would go through their nightly rituals before Botan would relax in her room and watch some T.V. When Hiei heard silence, he’d join her and crawl into bed. Unbeknownst to Botan, Hiei would keep vigil over her for a while until he too became tired and fell asleep. Sometimes, that left him to his thoughts, like how, regrettably, there was definitely something going on between them. Because of that, he didn’t mind holding her like this. Despite what had been happening between them, though, Hiei was still planning to leave, so he wanted to enjoy the moments he shared with Botan while he could. He wanted to make sure her emotions remained intact, and for that she needed sleep and the comfort he provided for her.

One night, something unusual happened. Hiei had been awake, watching Botan sleep, hypnotized by her soft snores. She looked so ethereal, and he found himself wanting to touch her. He knew that was too dangerous considering his attraction to her. Instead, his eyes wandered to her slightly protruding abdomen. It had been weeks since he felt the boy kick, and when he lied and said he felt nothing. Since then, Botan respected his boundaries and didn’t force him to feel the little jabs. For some reason, part of him wanted to try again. It wasn’t that he wanted to bond with the unborn child, but he was curious about the strength of his hits to the mother, if they were enough to cause her pain. There was another part he refused to acknowledge, that he just wanted to feel a life he created, a life that at one point he didn’t believe should exist.

Slowly and tentatively, he placed a hand on the ferry girl’s stomach and just left it there for a moment. There was no activity occurring at the moment he did. He was going to pull away when he felt a tiny movement. At the same time, he felt the pressure against his palm. A voice fluttered in his mind, His crimson eyes widened and his core jolted.

Father…

Son of a bitch…the boy already knew who and what he was. Hiei’s eyes closed tight, a weight fell on his chest. His mind reeled, and a strange wave of panic overtook him. He quickly retrieved his hand and got up to move himself far away from the woman. In that moment, he didn’t care if she woke up. He needed to get away. He needed to be far away from her and from their son.

The following week was hell for Hiei. At nights, he still needed to rest with Botan or she would be unable to sleep. At the same time, Hiei felt the occasional fluttering in his mind from their son. The boy was vying for his attention, so Hiei ignored him. After the night the previous week, Hiei realized he couldn’t indulge that fleeting flutter anymore. Both the child and Botan would need to get used to him not being there.

Hiei felt guilt that his son might feel abandoned.

It didn’t matter. The fire demon already made his decision, and it would not change. It didn’t matter if he and the woman were becoming closer. It was still his intention not to stick around. The ferry girl didn’t need him, and the child would be better off without him. There was no room in his life for attachments. It’s why he kept the truth from Yukina. He would be foolish to believe that his life was suitable for any of them.

While Hiei was having his internal struggle, Botan was becoming even more excited. Finally able to sleep, she was more rested, and her emotions were on the positive side…for now. She focused all her attention on her growing baby boy. Her little one was already the size of a melon and growing longer to boot. For the first time in this whole process, there was actually a good side effect to the pregnancy, stronger nails and fuller hair. All of this was bringing a smile to her face. That was about all to week twenty, and Botan was relieved. She still had all of the other pains to worry about. She didn’t think she was ready for another.

Hiei found Botan admiring herself in the mirror, playing with her blue hair. He noticed how much softer it had become, at least in appearance, and some nights he fought against running his fingers through her luscious locks. At least she was content for the time being. It had been a long time since he saw her smile like that at herself. That had to be progress.

Botan noticed Hiei standing in the doorway and flashed him a bright smile. “Hey, what are you doing today?”

The fire demon grimaced. It was raining outside, so his plans were to stay indoors the majority of the day until it stopped. “Nothing.”

Her grin widened. “Oh good!” she chimed. “Then you can come with me!”

Hiei knew he regret it, but he asked, “Where?”

He couldn’t believe he let her talk him into this. He couldn’t believe he actually decided to come to a place filled with water. It wasn’t bad enough that he allowed the ferry girl to talk him into going out in the rain, but then she had to drag him to an aquarium of all places. How could he, a fire demon, be talked into this sort of thing anyway? Where was his sense when he uttered an ‘okay’?

Screaming children and loud adults grated on him, and Hiei had to refrain from murdering every last one of them. Botan seemed happy though and hummed along as they walked through the halls surrounded by different colored fishes.

“Why the hell are we here again?” Hiei questioned. He did not understand what made her decide to go to an aquarium, of all things, in the first place.

A beaming smile was flashed in Hiei’s direction. “The book said that early experiences are important for the child,” she reminded him.

Hiei deadpanned. “The child isn’t even born yet,” he pointed out in exasperation. Only the ferry girl would do something like this for such an inane reason.

Her smile became more patient and calmer. “It’s still a memory for us, at least,” the woman replied, “and it will be good for him to know that even before he was born we wanted to bring him to all these places.”

The fire demon rolled his eyes at that and crossed his arms. It was completely ridiculous, her reasons for doing this, but both of their books kept saying that it was best to let her do whatever she wanted. As pointless as it seemed, it was still what she felt and believed. Hiei wouldn’t be around when those discussions came up, anyway. However, she would raise the child, most likely he would find peace in a memory that wasn’t his own.

It was at a touch tank where Botan stopped walking. Many stingrays swam around. Their movements hypnotized Botan, and she was about to reach in and touch a fin. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Hiei warned. Botan froze; her attention snapped to him. “You have to be careful and not touch things that can make you sick.” He sneered at the swimming fish.

“Oh, don’t worry, silly,” Botan laughed. “I’ll wash my hands.”

Botan once again moved to reach in, but this time her footing shifted, and she accidentally slipped in a puddle of water. Hiei was swift, reacted quickly, and caught her. “You’re a clumsy woman,” he chided as he set her upright.

“I guess, but at least I know you’ll always be there to catch me when I fall.”

Discomfort took over the fire demon’s countenance. For a moment, he could barely breathe. His features and voice grew tight. “I will not be there forever,” he finally told, and he could see that the ferry girl was genuinely shocked. “I have no intention of staying.”

Botan frowned, voice serious. “I know that, but you’ll still come to visit, at least for Yukina’s sake. I’m sure we’ll run into each other, and you can get to know your son.”

“No, woman,” Hiei countered. His eyes implored her to understand. “I will not be returning, period. I do not intend to return for any reason.”

The ferry girl was stunned. “But what about Yukina?”

“As loathe as I am to admit it,” Hiei started, “Yukina is in good hands with the oaf and the others around her. You and the baby will be fine without me.”

Hiei couldn’t sense the storm of emotions lying underneath Botan’s seemingly calm exterior. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, and the sincerity of his words angered her. “Don’t I get a say in that?” she asked.

Crimson eyes met amethyst, and Hiei continued to spew words that only seemed to hurt Botan further. “I am not capable of being the person you want me to be. Given my past, you shouldn’t even want me near our son.”

“You’ve changed from your past,” Botan challenge. “You aren’t the same demon who attacked Spirit World or was a thief. I know you, and I know you have good in you. You’ve helped us, been there for us more times than I can count, and the same has applied to this pregnancy.”

It was Hiei’s turn to be affronted. “Just because we’ve spent more time together doesn’t mean that you know me or anything about me or my past,” he spat before he took a deep breath to calm himself. “Look,” he tried again, calmer. “This is how it needs to be. I will be here up until the birth and no longer.” Then, the discussion ended, and Botan became really quiet and withdrawn. Hiei could sense something shift between them. A sigh escaped him before he decided to change the subject. “Where do you want to go next?”

It wasn’t that Hiei wanted to do anything else, but he felt he owed the woman the rest of the day for souring her mood, having a discussion he didn’t think he’d have in the middle of a public place. Botan surprised him when she said, “Nowhere. I just want to go back to the apartment.”

That wasn’t what Hiei expected, and he asked, “Are you certain?”

“I am.”

The cold and curt way Botan responded to him set all of Hiei’s nerves on high alert. She had never regarded him in such a matter, even when upset. He wasn’t sure what about reiterating what she already knew shifted whatever normal they created for themselves, but it was best not to question it then. A nod was her answer, and they left the aquarium in silence. The whole rainy walk home was quiet.

Once they were back, Hiei was ready to go inside and dry off, but Botan merely stood in front of the apartment and stared hard at the door. Hiei was about to ask the woman what was wrong. One word sent his mind reeling. He never expected to hear a tone so dark and emotionless.

“Leave.”

The command startled Hiei. He never expected it. His mind couldn’t perceive what he was being asked, but he knew he heard correctly. “I have a duty to you and the child.”

She turned to face him, her eyes full of wrath and disdain. He could see the hint of pain reflected in her irises. “Then I’m releasing you of that duty,” she snapped. Hiei could hardly look away and stood paralyzed to his spot. “Really, there’s no point in pretending to care any longer, about us or the child.” Hiei was astonished, stunned into silence, as he let the woman yell at him. She was starting to become even more frantic while keeping her tears at bay. “The baby doesn’t need a father who clearly doesn’t care if he exists or not, and I don’t need a pessimistic partner who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about me that I do him.”

Hiei was confused and mildly angry, but he said nothing as he disappeared from her sight and left her alone in the outside hallway. Once he was gone, Botan finally allowed the tears to fall. She could barely let herself into the apartment and lock the door before she fell to her hands and knees. She spent the next fifteen minutes sobbing herself to sleep on the hard floor. She had never felt as weak or as vulnerable as she did in that moment. It had been the first time in a long while that she felt this low.

And there was no going back.

Chapter Text

Botan woke up to the sound of birds chirping and cars driving by, and she gasped and jumped up in bed. She ran a hand through her hair and then hid her eyes against her knees. It was yet another day, yet everything was the way she remembered it a week before.

Hiei left.

It had been so entirely painful to hear Hiei speak words that she hoped he’d never say. She thought his opinion on their child changed, but it didn’t. He was still the same uncaring and cruel demon he was in the beginning, the one who didn’t want the child to exist, the one who didn’t care if she suffered or not or made it to term. She truly thought and believed with her whole heart that he changed. She trusted him. Then he ended up pulling the rug out from under her, and the peaceful life they had been living was no longer a reality.

The first couple of days, she spent crying and could hardly eat anything. After a few days passed, she felt hunger and dehydrated, and the baby kept kicking her into action. It seemed like he would give her a few days, but that was all he could tolerate. He wanted her to stop moping, but that was difficult.

When the whole week passed, Botan felt devastated. She had not seen nor heard from Hiei. He was truly gone, and she was alone. She and the baby were officially on their own.

Well, Botan’s eyes moved to her book, and she realized that it was the beginning of a whole new week. There was going to be a new set of challenges she had to conquer on her own. Her sleeplessness was getting to her. The previous night was the first night she slept and that was because she was so wiped out from her week of crying and insomnia that she passed out, her body unable to handle another night. A kick to her abdomen alerted her to her depressing thoughts.

She took a hand and rubbed her belly. Mama’s trying, she mentally pleaded to the baby, although she doubted he could hear her thoughts. What a mess she was starting to become.

A distraction was needed, and for now that had to be her guidebook. At this point, it was the only thing that could help her. She read that her baby was starting to grow, and soon it would be a tight squeeze, but for now he would be active and doing somersaults, and Botan was surprised to learn that her little one actually slept, as much as a newborn, even. Of course, her book warned her that she probably couldn’t sleep. It was as if it knew.

The baby’s tastebuds were developing, and he was starting to drink up the amniotic fluid. The book suggested eating some of the healthier foods, mainly because the baby would taste them, and those tastes would stick with him after birth. If only Botan liked broccoli. Maybe it could be hers and her baby’s secret if she didn’t eat it. A laugh escaped her, and she was about to call out her joke, but then she remembered again.

Hiei wasn’t there.

She practically tossed the book across the room, completely frustrated with herself. Why couldn’t she accept the fact that she was alone now? It would be less painful for her in the long run. She felt so completely pathetic that she was pining for a man, someone she considered to be her friend, who did not want anything to do with her or the beautiful, little life they created together. A fresh new wave of tears spilt, and she buried herself against her knees, curled up in fetal position.

How was she ever going to be able to do this?

Hiei spent the past week alone, in hiding, mainly hiding in trees. He was still struggling with his developing feelings for the woman and their situation. He had barely been sleeping, his mind replaying the whole discussion with the ferry girl at the aquarium. Eventually, he ended up back at Genkai’s, but still kept himself concealed. It had been a week of confusion and frustration, and part of Hiei wanted to see his sister. He was surprised to find the woman already visiting with her. Something about the ferry girl felt…off.

The fire demon scoffed in derision and, surprisingly, hurt. It was the woman’s choice to send him on his way. She was no longer his problem, not at all, and so there was no reason he should even shred a flicker of concern for the woman. “She needed to get out of the apartment.” Hiei’s ears perked at the sound of the fox’s voice. Kurama stood beneath him, leaned back against the tree as he looked ahead at the two girls. “She was highly distressed when I showed up.”

Concern flared up in Hiei’s mind. He wondered if the distress had something to do with the baby. Still… “It’s not my problem,” he told the redhead. “She made it clear she wants nothing to do with me and that she and the baby are fine without me.”

“Do you actually believe that?”

The condescending tone in which Kurama spoke only served to darken Hiei’s mood. He didn’t believe what he was saying. He knew it. The fire demon glowered at his former teammate. He didn’t know what he was talking about.

When he didn’t receive an answer, Kurama’s knowing grin became a sadness-tinged smile. “You should look in on her if you don’t believe me.”

And then he walked away.

Hiei grunted. He did not want to listen to the fox, but honestly his worries overtook him. There was something clearly not right about the ferry girl, and so for that he would go to see her. He doubted the fox’s words were true, but it still warranted investigation. If Kurama was wrong, as Hiei predicted, then the fire demon would be on his merry way back to Demon World. He wasn’t needed in Human World any longer.

Lo and behold, Hiei was proven incorrect when he saw Botan sobbing into her arms, hiding against the table. Yukina gently patted her back and offered a sympathetic gaze. The fire demon almost fell from his perch. “Botan,” Yukina called. “It’s going to be okay. Please, talk to me. What is the matter?”

“H-Hiei l-left,” the woman stammered, and Hiei almost called out that he was kicked out of his home. Then, Botan added. “I-I told him to go.”

“Why?” Yukina asked, her voice devoid of judgment.

“H-he doesn’t want to stay,” Botan sniffled. She finally looked into Yukina’s comforting red eyes. “I thought he would really change his mind, but he said he won’t come back, not for any of us. I…I thought… He was being more actively involved and even celebrated with me before when we learned the gender. But now…now…he doesn’t want to know his son!”

Yukina’s eyes widened, surprised to finally hear the gender of the baby. Even Hiei was surprised that Botan spoke it, but the woman was such an emotional wreck that she probably didn’t even realize what she said. Once again, he was proven wrong. Botan’s sobbing became more hysterical as she wailed, “Oh, and now I spoiled that, too. I was trying to keep that a surprise.” She buried her face in her arms once again, her body wracked harder. “I really am a blabbermouth,” she whined, inconsolable.

Hiei heard enough, and he was about ready to move to her and somehow fix this terrible situation. He didn’t know what he could do after putting her in this sorry state. He believed she was truly done with him, but it had just been her speaking out of a temporary emotion rather than a true desire. Unfortunately, he never came out of hiding as another bombshell was dropped on him that day.

“It’s all right, Botan,” Yukina assured her as she rubbed the woman’s back. “My brother will come around eventually.”

Hiei was frozen and paralyzed in place, unable to comprehend the words he heard leave Yukina’s mouth. Since when had she already known? He figured it made sense. She wasn’t completely oblivious, but still…how could she have found out? His eyes shifted to Botan. She didn’t seem shocked in the least that Yukina knew. Was it possible she told her? No, Hiei was certain or else Botan would have been more panicked and alert around him instead of safe and comforted. He shook his head free of those thoughts. Security and serenity were not words that should ever be associated with him.

“Let’s talk about the baby instead,” Yukina suggested, hardly cutting through Hiei’s racing thoughts. “So, it’s a boy.”

And just like that, Botan’s who countenance changed, her anguish shifting to joy as she told Yukina about their child. She sounded just as thrilled as she did in the appointment, which Hiei still failed to understand. “I would have been happy with either a boy or a girl, but I was honestly hoping for a boy.”

Yukina offered a patient smile before her expression saddened. “How did Hiei take the reveal?” Her voice was wary as she uttered the question.

Not well, he could admit. He had been in a very dark place until Botan joyously grabbed him. His respect for her grew, and he knew in the moment that his son would be in capable hands. The ferry girl would raise that child to be everything Hiei wasn’t. It was one of the reasons he could, in good conscience, leave.

Hearing Yukina call him her brother indicated to Hiei why she’d word the question that way, and his brow furrowed. Botan’s gaze was cast downward as she asked, “What does it matter? He didn’t even think he should exist.”

The fire demon could see the gears turn in Yukina’s mind. His mind was still in a whirlwind, but he still listened to what the two women discussed. “As I told you, I knew Hiei was my brother,” she stated, and Hiei had one of his questions answered. Botan did not tell Yukina, but the ferry girl knew that the ice maiden knew, and she never told him! He glared at the woman without heat and continued to listen. Botan nodded and seemed to give Yukina her undivided attention as the ice maiden hesitated.

Yukina released a heavy sigh and continued with, “I am only telling you because your baby is my nephew. You need to understand…what we came from.”

“What you came from?” Botan repeated timidly. “I…I know you came from a glacial village, but that’s about all, I’m afraid.”

Yukina actually smiled at that. “Thankfully, our culture hasn’t reached many other places.” She awkwardly cleared her throat before she averted her eyes. Botan listened to every word she spoke. “Every hundred years from the time we are born, ice maidens become pregnant with a little baby girl, and it is usually unheard of for the baby to be a boy.”

Botan looked confused at that prospect. “But Hiei is…”

The maiden nodded. “It is usually unheard of, but if someone happened to leave the village and have relations with a man, then the child is a boy. In our family’s case, Hiei and I were both born, and Hiei was taken away from our mother because she broke the laws of our tribe.” Botan noticed sadness in Yukina’s eyes. Hiei noticed it too, and he couldn’t believe his sister both knew and was telling Botan the truth about his origin. Still, Yukina was partially right. Botan had a right to know the monster he was. Maybe this would finally get her to understand why he shouldn’t be around their child, help her accept it. Besides, she deserved whatever pain would come from knowing she procreated with a curse. After all, he was still pissed with her that she kept Yukina’s knowledge a secret from him. So, he remained hidden.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean by that,” the ferry girl admitted, sounding nervous about where this was going. She had no idea why Hiei would have been taken away from them.

“It is forbidden for an ice maiden to have relations with a man,” Yukina said angrily. “They were punishing my mother for her crime, and they…” She paused, her voice taking on a sadder tone. Hiei had never heard Yukina talk of their past, even when she asked him to find her brother, and it never really occurred to him that she was so deeply upset and affected by it. She regained her composure and met Botan’s eyes. “They sentenced him to death for being a forbidden child, or an ‘imiko’ in our language. My mother’s friend Rui was ordered to cast him out from the island.”

And the truth was out, and Hiei could feel both his and the ferry girl’s tumultuous emotions. When he saw the flash of alarm in her eyes, his mind shifted and now he was actually angry that Botan learned his past. Maybe her opinions weren’t much different of those of his race.

Of course, he could feel her emotions, but he didn’t read her mind. Botan was indeed appalled by what she just heard, but not by Hiei or the difficult life he was forced to lead. She was angry with those cold-hearted women for causing Hiei to be separated from his loving family and trying to end his life for something so pointless. It was completely reprehensible!

“How could they do that to a baby?” Both Hiei’s and Yukina’s eyes widened when Botan yelled louder and angrier than either of them had ever heard. “He was just a child, and where do they get off calling him such mean names? That’s slander, and he hadn’t even done anything to deserve that. It’s not fair!”

Yukina smiled sadly, but her eyes lit up with joy and relief, like the weight of the world was somehow lifted from her shoulders at being able to share the complexities of her secret. “I agree with you,” she confessed, surprising the hidden fire demon. “It’s why I left them. I was like my mother. I didn’t see the world away from the glacial village as something scary. I preferred to get to know both men and women, and I was lucky that you all rescued me. When I returned, I went to Rui and told her of my experiences, and then I mentioned Hiei, and she got really quiet. She eventually admitted to me that he had been there before and when I asked her to describe him, I knew because I already met him and felt like I already knew who he was in my core.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, then?” Botan curiously question. “Why pretend you were clueless?”

“Honestly,” Yukina responded, “I knew that Hiei must have led a difficult life. I knew there was a reason he lied to me, and I didn’t want to pressure him to tell me until he was ready.” The sincerity in her eyes spoke volumes. “It was just enough to know that he was alive and well, that he was on his way to living a better life away from the rest of our race. There was once a time I was so angry with those horrible women for what they did, I actually hoped Hiei would destroy them like what they feared. For both our sakes, I’m glad he didn’t, but I still feel they deserve it.”

Botan nodded in agreement. It was truthfully shocking to hear the kind and fairly innocent Yukina speak so cruelly, but the ferry girl understood her anger. Hiei and his family suffered terribly because of some scary folklore the ice maiden elders told their people. She was glad that Yukina and Hiei had been reunited, even if they had to suffer the separation. Her talk with Yukina gave Botan insight to Hiei she wouldn’t normally have. He was so quiet and guarded, and now she realized that he had been carrying the pain of his past alone for decades. It made sense why he believed he should leave. He believed himself to be inherently violent because of what those horrible ice maidens did to him. She wondered how he felt about his death sentence. He was only an infant. He was so incredibly strong to survive a trauma like that.

“Don’t worry, Yukina. I will make sure your nephew never has to experience such animosity,” Botan promised. “He will be loved and taken care of by all of us. I won’t give up on your brother, either.”

Hiei sucked in a barely audible gasp at Botan’s declaration and then his sister’s response thanking her. There was nothing but honesty in the ferry girl’s words, and her voice was full of determination. The fire demon was torn between his desire to hate Botan for not telling him Yukina knew and feeling pulled towards her for her unfathomable acceptance and warmth.

His emotions always warred with one another.

The two women talked a little longer, the earlier depression Botan endured gone. What sat in its place was a peaceful calm and hope that Hiei was uncertain he could live up to. It unnerved him that she had become so determined and forceful, but he had to admit it was better that she was in a better mood, for both her sake and the baby’s.

Hiei waited for Botan to leave the temple, Kurama long gone as if he knew that Hiei would not abandon the woman. It seemed everyone had more faith in him than he had in himself. Maybe he just needed to let everything be. That was what he did when he leaned against the tree directly in Botan’s line of sight by the stairs. The ferry girl was surprised to see him, probably because it hadn’t been long since their fight. She paused, her expression cautious, before she continued to walk towards him. Good, Hiei thought. She should be wary, because he was still livid and needed to confront her about her secrets before they resolved anything. That way, all of the topics that would upset her would be dead and buried.

The two descended the stairs in a heavy silence, and Botan wanted to ask Hiei what was wrong, but his aura kept her quiet. In fact, the whole journey back to the city and the apartment they were silent. Relief flooded Botan when she closed the door behind her, Hiei inside. It seemed like they were back to the beginning, and that was okay with her.

She was surprised when, instead of shutting himself in his room, Hiei stood in the middle of the living room staring at her intensely. “What is it?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Yukina knew?” he asked darkly.

Purple eyes widened, and the flicker of guilt in Botan’s eyes confirmed what Hiei had already known. “I’m sorry. She asked me to.”

“And you didn’t think I had a right to know?” the fire demon asked a bit more forcefully.

Botan pouted, but she patiently offered, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Hiei’s temper flared at that. She had to know that it would. “What did you think would happen?” Hiei hissed. “I could have better prepared if I had known.”

“Would you have left?” Botan timidly questioned.

“Of course I would have!” He realized this discussion was turning into a more one-sided argument. Botan attempted to defuse it.

“Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you,” she admitted, fighting back. Hiei was more angered by her comment before she elaborated. “I’m glad I didn’t say anything because you didn’t leave. You stayed with us, me and the baby.” She cradled her abdomen for effect, and Hiei’s gaze lingered there. “I wouldn’t have gotten to see all these sides to you or spend time with you. You wouldn’t have gotten to see our little boy or hear his heartbeat. I wanted you to experience all of that because you deserved to know your child. You need that unconditional love. Everyone does, and I know he will love you. I do.”

Hiei had no choice but to step away from the woman. He turned his back on her as he gripped his forehead. She was saying all of these things that confused him. He didn’t know how to process any of it. Then he realized that Botan confessed her feelings for him, and he was completely bewildered. When did she start…? He couldn’t believe he heard right. He nearly jumped when Botan gently touched his shoulder. “Hiei?”

The fire demon swallowed hard. He didn’t want to hear anymore, couldn’t hear anymore. This moment escalated when he only wanted to confront her about Yukina and now she was tearing him open. He wanted it to stop.

Before she could call his name again, Hiei turned to her, compelled to silence her, and he did so by crashing his lips against hers. His action took Botan by surprise, but she merely wrapped her arms around his neck. It was their first heated kiss since the night they were drunk. Hiei was rough with the woman, but Botan didn’t seem to mind. He was the first to pull away; his eyes reflected a storm of emotions and darkening with desire. Botan’s mouth went dry. Hiei kissed her again, this time slowly and tenderly, and Botan responded in kind, eagerly returning his passion while she played with his hair. Hiei didn’t know what came over him as he gently led Botan to his room.

“I can’t believe shorty said that to her,” Kuwabara declared, astonished as Kurama filled him and Yusuke in on the most recent happenings between the expecting parents. “How is she?”

“Better,” Kurama hinted, “after talking to Yukina.” He wasn’t planning to mention that he left her with Hiei. The fox could tell that Hiei was struggling internally with something, and he knew the fire demon would go to Botan. The pair would sort everything out. He was sure of it.

“Can’t say I’m surprised, though,” Yusuke stated, offering his opinion as he cooked. The two redheads met up at his food cart for lunch. Kuwabara asked Kurama why he brought Botan to Genkai’s since it was difficult for her to travel longs distances and ascend the stairs. He heard from Yukina that she had seen Botan. When Kurama said he was more concerned over her sitting alone in her apartment, as she had been doing for days, Yusuke and Kuwabara became worried and asked about Hiei. Then it became a discussion regarding all Botan told the fox. “The last time Hiei and I spoke, he came out and told me he never had any intention of sticking around after the birth. I warned him not to lead Botan on if his mind was made up. He was certain his decision was the right one.”

Kuwabara and Kurama exchanged knowing glances, both having noticed certain nuances Yusuke would have never seen. With Kurama’s centuries of experience with subtle detection and Kuwabara’s spiritual and emotional awareness, both men perceived that Hiei was in a state where he was at war with himself. Despite his desire to distance himself from Botan, it was clear he cared about her and the baby. For some reason, he believed leaving was best, but there was no doubt in either redhead’s mind that Hiei would come around and learn to accept this new journey. After all, he was no coward.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Urameshi,” Kuwabara countered.

“Care to put your money on it?” Yusuke jokingly replied before his expression soured. “I mean, not that I’m one for betting on my friends’ misery.”

“I’ll take you up on it,” Kuwabara agreed, his voice serious. “I bet Botan and Hiei will make up, get together, and raise this kid together.”

“I will also take this bet,” Kurama added. “Hiei might just surprise us all.”

“Alright, then,” Yusuke relented. “You’re on, but I really don’t think it’ll happen.”

Yusuke continued to cook their meals, conflicted over making a bet regarding his friends’ lives. He was only kidding, but it seemed he was the odd man out in this case. In all honesty, he hoped he would lose, for Botan’s sake. It would be the best money he ever spent. He was pretty certain, though, after his and Hiei’s talk, that even if Hiei did come around and stayed for the baby, he and Botan would never be together.

Botan and Hiei were completely spent, both panting heavily as they threw themselves back against the pillows on Hiei’s bed. The fire demon tilted his head to observe the ferry girl and noticed her flushed cheeks as she tried to calm her racing heart. Honestly, he was trying to do the same. The fire demon came completely undone from his desire. He was completely sober, and this wasn’t just a fleeting memory.

He couldn’t blame the alcohol for his actions this time.

Hiei had been worried that he would hurt her, but Botan seemed fine. Once she caught her breath, she glanced over to him, her eyes filled with curiosity, warmth, and surprisingly fear. Timidly, she asked, “Was that okay?”

The fire demon had to fight his urge to laugh and merely pulled her naked form flush against his body. He kissed her in a way that conveyed that their actions were more than okay with him. Botan placed her hands against his chest, moaned against his lips. He wanted nothing more but to relish in this feeling, but he was dismayed that the ferry girl had other plans. She pushed him back, her touch gentle. Hiei could have resisted, but he wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want. Apparently, she wasn’t pushing him away because she didn’t want to kiss him. In that moment, she wanted to talk.

“Are we together?” The serious question brought him out of his lust-filled haze and back to reality.

“What kind of question is that?” Hiei snapped, irritable at the fact that she was forcing him to think when all he wanted to do was feel. That was much more pleasant.

Botan shyly replied, “I…I enjoyed it…” Hiei’s eyes became crimson saucers. “…And I like you.” That confession paralyzed his core. “I just…I want to know if I have to go back to pretending there’s nothing there, that I don’t have feelings for you, or if we can just simply be together.”

Hiei swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “There is nothing simple about me or our situation,” he reminded her. “You know my position in life, what I’m capable of, and what our people foretold. Are you that daft that you would want that around a child? I’m a felon, a killer and a thief, and nothing more. My only purpose in life is to destroy.”

“You done?” Botan questioned, her voice monotone and gaze deadpanned, eyes devoid of interest in the fire demon’s words. “You and I both know that isn’t true. That’s just an excuse you’re clinging to.”

Hiei gritted his teeth but didn’t say anything in response. There was nothing he could say to defend her claims. The woman was so close to the truth that it was painful. He was clinging to an empty curse. His pride would take a hit if he admitted it.

He was afraid.

It was completely ridiculous for him of all people to be afraid of anything. Hiei prided himself on his boldness. He did not fear death or a challenging fight. He was normally the fighter to be feared. The ice maidens feared him. So did the thieves with whom he lived. He was the master of the Dragon of Darkness Flame, a Jaganshi, and a ruthless combatant. He had so much power at his fingertips. There was no foe in all three worlds that he needed to fear. Then a woman and child were thrown into the mix and he was in ruins. He did not understand nor did he know what to make of it.

They sat in silence for a time, his back against the headboard and Botan sitting forward. She had a hand on her belly and gently caressed the bump that housed their child. Hiei released a heavy sigh and, out of nowhere, disclosed, “I can’t be what you want. I can’t give you a heart I don’t have.”

In contrast to what he expected, Botan smiled. Because of her reaction, he was certain she was crazy. “You don’t have to give me empty promises of a future,” she told him, mystifying him even further. “I’m not expecting you to fall in love with me. All I ask is that you be there for the baby. That would be enough for me.”

Discomfort and anxiety crept into Hiei’s being. Botan must have sensed it for her expression softened when their eyes met. “I’m not sure if I can even do that.”

His gaze shifted to the hand she placed on his shoulder. “I have faith in you, Hiei. You did it for Yukina, and I know you will for our son. You always pull through when it counts.”

She let him digest her words for a few moments before she moved to leave the bed. Hiei stopped her, gripping her wrist carefully so as not to hurt her. Botan looked to him with questioning eyes. “Do we have to leave?”

Botan immediately understood that Hiei wasn’t ready to let her go yet and that he wanted to stay with her in this peaceful, fantasy world where only they existed. “No,” she answered, her voice patient and warm. “We don’t.”

Hiei tenderly tugged her back to him, the sheets still covering her naked form. She was so beautiful in that moment. His hand entangled in her tousled hair, guided her lips to his, and enveloped them in such a searing kiss that Botan felt her mind grow dizzy. She kissed him back with equal fervor and gave herself to him all over again. Their heart and core beat in sync.

From that moment on, everything had seemingly returned to normal. It wasn’t business as usual, however. Now that they had bridged the gap between them, Hiei felt a bit more comfortable saying what was on his mind. Earlier that morning at breakfast, they had eaten in silence, and then Hiei broke it. He could still remember her tranquil tone.

“…I don’t know if I can do as you asked.”

Botan’s eyes held compassion as she reiterated, “If you can’t be with me, at least please be a father to your son.”

Hiei swallowed uncomfortably, overwhelmed. “And what if I can’t be a father either.” He feared her response.

“Hiei…” Botan lightly touched his cheek as if he hadn’t said something so completely selfish. “You don’t even know what you can be yet. I’m scared too. This is all new to me. Just please wait and see.”

Hiei reluctantly nodded, and then they resumed their quiet meal.

He couldn’t believe how tolerant Botan was of him, and he realized that she would have been reassuring him all along if he had just accepted the advice of that vile book and talked to her. Speaking of, as they went their separate ways after mealtime, Hiei decided to read the messages for the past two weeks since he missed them. The previous week congratulated him on him and his partner reaching the halfway point. His brow furrowed in frustration. All this hell and Botan’s symptoms were just half of them?

The guide suggested doing whatever he could to make her more comfortable. Keeping her company when insomnia struck was just one of the ideas, and he was already doing that. It also gave other recommendations including relaxing her with a back rub, running her a bath, bringing her a warm cup of milk and a muffin, and cuddling when she needed or wanted to, which were a few things he knew he could do for her. He didn’t even cringe when he read the line, “Cuddle as needed, and if one thing leads to another, and she’s up for a sexual nightcap, you might both sleep better.” For once, he would keep that thought in mind. He wouldn’t be opposed if such a thing happened again.

The entry for the current week was bizarre considering he and Botan already felt the first kicks of their son. It would occur between the eighteenth and twenty-second week, and it had already happened. It was a full kick when the book was saying that the woman would most likely feel butterflies. Well, at least some chapters were becoming more useful.

Moments later, Hiei heard Botan cry out, and he raced out of his room to find her curled up in her bed. She had been sitting up against something called a husband pillow, but it seemed her back was still aching badly. Botan was trying to reach behind her to get some relief to a spot, but she was struggling. Hiei didn’t even question it when his feet brought him to her.

“I…” Botan started to say.

“Sh,” Hiei cooed, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “You’re going to be all right. Sit forward.” Botan was about to question him before relenting to do what Hiei told her. To her surprise, he slipped behind her and started kneading her pained muscles. He noticed that she had her pregnancy guide on her lap. She must have been reading it when the ache struck her. “What does it say?”

A gasp escaped Botan as Hiei reached a particularly tender spot. His touch became gentler as he worked the spot. Botan leaned her head against his chest and allowed his warmth to consume her. “It says our little one is getting more coordinated and that neurons are now connected between his brain and muscles and cartilage throughout the body turning it to bone. Isn’t that exciting?” Hiei acknowledged her announcement with a ‘hn’. “He’s getting more control over his movements, so he’ll be kicking and stretching more. I can’t wait for him to be more active. It’s the most amazing feeling.”

At that moment, their little one decided to make his presence known as if hearing them talk about him. Botan jumped in surprise and looked down to the spot. She was about to say something lovingly cheeky before Hiei surprised her by touching the spot where the baby kicked. She looked down at his hand and then turned to see his face. He still looked panicked, but he wasn’t taking his hand away. His eyes met hers, and he confirmed what he should have weeks before.

“I felt it.” His declaration brought Botan so much joy that she almost forgot about all of the new symptoms she would start to have. Hiei picked up on the stray thought and glanced at the woman with concern in his eyes. “What symptoms?”

Botan became nervous, surprised Hiei had been tuned in to her thoughts. A light, rose blush appeared on her cheeks as she said, “You would just think I’m being silly, worrying over this.”

“Try me,” Hiei dared as he continued to rub her back.

Her head fell back against his shoulder as he continued his gentle massage, and she felt a bit more relaxed. “Well, okay,” she murmured. “They’re mostly superficial things. I’m going to start getting stretch marks everywhere because everything is growing. I can use cocoa butter, but it’s not really proven to get rid of them, just to prevent dryness and itching as the skin stretches. They won’t look good, and because I’m as light-skinned as I am, they’ll be more visible as the skin stretches. I’m going to look terrible.”

“Doubt it,” Hiei remarked, leaning in to inhale her scent. “Will they eventually go away?”

“Yeah, but not until after the pregnancy,” Botan complained. “Well, at least I think so. They probably will stay but they won’t be so vivid.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Hiei told her. “You’re with child. No one said this was an easy process. Besides…” Botan moaned as Hiei began to nibble on her neck. He paused in his ministrations to add, “You’re pregnant with my child.” There was an unspoken ‘I find you attractive’, but Botan heard it and giggled as Hiei rubbed his nose against her neck, slightly tickling her. “What else?”

“…Because my body has about fifty percent more blood and fluid, my feet are going to get bigger, and I don’t like that…”

“You’re going to be fine, woman,” Hiei assured her. “The witch warned you about that, too, remember? You just need to sit at times during the day with your feet elevated, and it’ll be fine. Why are you worrying about all this stuff?”

“Another symptom is anxiety,” she answered, “not that it hasn’t been since the beginning. Just, everything that’s happening…it feels it’s too much sometimes. I mean, it’s the halfway point, and I don’t even know if I’m fully prepared for the next phase. I feel like I’m on a runaway train, and it scares me.”

Hiei could understand. He felt like that, too. As much as the half of this had taken its toll on the woman, it had still gone by way too quickly, the presence of the baby and how it was quickly growing and making itself known to them. It was a lot. At least he could try to ease her anxiety. “Well, if you are, then we’re on the damn train together.”

Botan looked to Hiei hopefully. “Really?”

“Really,” he replied. “Nothing has changed in that regard.”

A thankful smile remained on her features as Hiei allowed her to use him like a pillow. She cuddled into him and enjoyed the feeling of his body heat enveloping her. Tiredly, she mumbled, “It also said I should exercise, but keep it low impact because of the loosening ligaments by going swimming, doing yoga, or walking.”

“Hn, sounds like training,” Hiei pointed out. “Tomorrow, we’ll train together.”

Botan nodded against him before she drifted off into a world of sleep. Hiei breathed out a sigh of relief and cuddled the ferry girl close to him. He hadn’t realized just how much easier he made it easier for her just by talking, only saying a few words. She was anxious over so many things that were superficial and many things that were significant to both of them. Maybe it really was high time he try to bear some of her emotional load. He hoped he could keep it up, for her sake.

The baby had better be damn worth all the stress both of them were enduring.

Chapter Text

As the week passed, Hiei felt no better about his situation. During the day, his thoughts would be on the child and its impending birth as well as the fact that he couldn’t make a decision about what he truly wanted to do. At nights, it was easier, having Botan wrapped up in his arms as she dozed off peacefully after amorous activities. The night was their own little world where no troubles or concerns existed, and Hiei came to prefer the nights of doing nothing to the days of intense training. There were a few times where Botan would go to the park with him and he would watch over her as she did some of her yoga crap. Apparently, that exercise helped her to stay calm and was good for her body. Being out with her was…nice, but it didn’t stop the increasing feelings of agitation that arose within him every day.

Truthfully, his guide had him pegged for the week. The chapter was properly titled “Feeling Anxious?” Hiei was starting to rescind his distaste for the guide he once thought to be a load of crap. Now that he actually indulged in time with the woman, he realized that each chapter had some very sound advice, and the ones that were a week too late didn’t take into account the fact that the child would be on the early side of development.

If you’re having second thoughts about this baby thing, especially as it gets more real, the fire demon read, don’t worry. It’s normal. Having second thoughts is totally normal, especially as the delivery date approaches. Don’t worry; she’s probably feeling the same way. You may be wondering what kind of father you’ll be, worrying about the health of your partner and the baby, and confused about what the heck the practitioner was talking about at the last office visit.

That little note was surprising to Hiei. He had never considered himself to be normal, especially not in regard to the concept of human mentality. Still, all of the concerns the book mentioned were concerns he did, in fact, have. Botan was always in so much pain, weakened at times. The baby seemed fine, always trying to get his parents’ attention. Still, the woman always smiled through the pain. It twisted the fire demon’s insides that the ferry girl was putting herself through hell just for a child he sired. She now knew the majority of the past he kept buried, and what she didn’t know she probably gathered knowing he was a thief, and she knew he caused trouble for Spirit World and for her during the first case. He was only forced on the team to erase the charges. He was not a good man. And yet, the thought of having his child brought her joy through the torture. Really, what kind of father would he be? That had been part of the reason he wanted to leave. It wasn’t something he believed he could be. Botan kept telling him not to worry about that.

Here are a few ways to start boosting your confidence, the book continued. First, read up about pregnancy and babies. Knowledge is power. That sounded like something the fox would do, and Hiei guessed he was technically doing it by reading his and the woman’s book. Second, talk to your partner. She’s probably feeling as freaked as you, and venting will help you both relax. Well, he was already doing that, and he still felt like this. Third, corner every veteran parent you know and ask for some pointers to score some insights. That was another point against Hiei as he didn’t know any being who was a parent. And finally, chill with this thought: Parents have been having babies for as long as there have been babies.

…

That thought didn’t help much at all.

However, Hiei knew that he couldn’t keep his stresses internalized anymore. He had already crossed that bridge. Botan knew how he felt, and she continued to be optimistic. She needed to believe everything would be okay. It wasn’t because she was a clueless ferry girl either. She had to do it for herself and the baby, and Hiei had to meet her halfway. As a result, he was wary to discuss his concerns with the woman despite what his guide suggested.

There were very few people the fire demon felt comfortable speaking with, and despite trusting every member of their team, he wasn’t ready for the fox’s analysis or the detective’s ‘I told you so nature’. That only left one person he could vent to, and it was the last person he’d ever thought he’d choose.

Hiei found himself outside of Kuwabara’s workplace and waited directly in front of the school for the psychic to show up. Kuwabara finished his teaching assistantship for the day and was saying ‘goodbye’ to some classmates when he spotted the fire demon standing there. He was completely stunned to see Hiei, but he offered his teammate a patient grin. “Hey, Hiei. What are you doing here?”

“Hn, I owe you no explanation,” the demon responded curtly. This earned some surprised stares from the other humans around the oaf.

Kuwabara just waved them off and then gestured for Hiei to follow him. Ever the rebellious type, Hiei stayed rooted in his spot, but, when Kuwabara turned his back to him, he followed.

The psychic brought Hiei to another part of the city, to an apartment complex that wasn’t too far from the school. Hiei was confused for a moment. He knew his teammate lived someone else entirely with his sister. He paused in his trek, and Kuwabara stopped as he sensed the pause. He turned back around to see Hiei eyeing him distrustfully.

“It’s my new place, Hiei,” Kuwabara said, offering a patient grin. “It’s a recent development.”

Hiei was surprised that the redhead could read him so well. It was like he was becoming another Kurama, although Hiei knew it was more from the psychic unknowingly reading his emotions. Usually one to conceal those, it threw Hiei for a loop, but he guessed it was better than having to discuss everything right at the moment. The fire demon still didn’t even understand why he came to the oaf at all.

Kuwabara let Hiei inside, sensing his friend and teammate wanted to talk, but he also knew that Hiei probably wouldn’t open up right away. Instead, he enlisted the fire demon in his crusade of putting some furniture together. There was no place to sit just yet save the couch, so Hiei and Kuwabara worked on putting together his kitchen table and chairs. Kuwabara laughed at his pissed off friend, Hiei angered by the overcomplicated and impossible to read human blueprints. After that task was done, they put together some floor lamps. Finally, the apartment had light and was coming together nicely.

Hiei found himself looking around at all of the packed boxes, and then his gaze returned to his comrade. “So, you really meant recent development.”

Kuwabara snickered. “Yeah. It was just easier instead of commuting all the way across the city.”

“Hn,” Hiei responded. Kuwabara then handed Hiei a bottle of beer. Hiei’s brow quirked, and then came his snarky reply. “I’m surprised a bleeding heart like you has ever touched alcohol.”

“I’ve been drunk before,” the redhead replied. “Remember?” Hiei couldn’t believe the human dared to bring up any of their get-togethers. The fire demon had seen his comrade drunk, and it led to the psychic being all over his sister. “Even Yukina has had some alcohol, and she is much purer than I am.”

Again, Hiei grimaced, feeling acid creep upward. “I prefer not to remember such incidents.” No, Hiei didn’t want to think about his twin’s tongue down the human’s throat. He downed a large sip of what tasted like cinnamon ale, one of Hiei’s favorites. Part of him wondered if the psychic knew that or not.

Kuwabara couldn’t help but grin when the fire demon’s attention was elsewhere. The two continued to drink in silence, and Kuwabara open up a couple more beers. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kuwabara asked, “So, what’s up with you and Botan?” Hiei’s expression darkened, and he glowered at the bottle he was holding. “Kurama told Urameshi and me what happened.”

“He’s a meddlesome fool,” Hiei abruptly shot back, on the defensive.

“Who cares about both of you,” Kuwabara pointed out. “And as much as you and I give each other grief, I still see you as a friend, and I’m sure you do also even though you disguise it as us being teammates or comrades or whatever.” Hiei chuckled slightly at that, knowing Kuwabara’s words to be true.

“Listen,” the psychic continued, “I’m not going to judge. I’m concerned about Botan, but clearly something is eating away at you, too. So, what’s up?”

The fire demon opened his mouth to speak, but then his lips settled into a firm line. He came to the oaf to confide in him the happenings of his personal life. Hiei wanted to do this, and now he couldn’t speak at all. Eventually, after taking a few more gulps of his liquid courage, he slammed the beer bottle down on the newly put-together table and glared at Kuwabara. “The woman and I…we’re…” He froze again. His crimson eyes roved Kuwabara’s for any judgement and found none.

Kuwabara sensed his hesitance. “Look, we’re both adults,” Kuwabara pointed out. “If you’re sleeping with Botan again, we can talk about it.”

Hiei scoffed a laugh. “If we’re both adults, you might as well call it ‘sex’.”

“Is it just sex?” The fire demon’s expression dropped immediately as he met Kuwabara’s knowing gaze. His eyes cast downward to the table, and Kuwabara slid another beer over to him. “I knew it. So, you’re together, then.” Hiei shook his head, not to deny that they were in some sort of relationship, but because he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it…not yet. Kuwabara’s brow furrowed in confusion. “So, you aren’t together?”

Hiei gripped both sides of the table. “Yes,” he snapped back abruptly, but his answer got to him, and panic flooded his system. “I mean no… I mean…I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Kuwabara replied calmly. “Let’s start there. Why don’t you know?”

Hiei practically downed the next bottle, only a little bit of beer remained. “Just…everything,” he stated. “I’ve been reading this book,” he admitted. “It says feeling anxiety is normal, but not like this. It’s a book written for someone who is in a relationship with the person they’re having a child with. We weren’t anything. I never wanted us to be something. Now we are, and I don’t know what to do with that or this impending child.” His expression soured further when he brought up his son.

“Hey, come on,” Kuwabara laughed lightly before he joked, “it’s not like having a baby is the end of the world. We already fought against that stuff.” Hiei didn’t find the humor. His shoulders sagged, and Kuwabara noticed just how exhausted and rundown the fire demon looked. It was kind of sobering to see someone so much stronger than him this way, and the fact that Hiei came to him, of all people, was an eye opener.

“Look, I’ll give you some advice on parenting and regarding Botan if you want. First off, none of it is easy, not always. Parts of it are for both, but it’s also a challenge. You should try to sort out your feelings first, decide what you really want with Botan and how active you want to be in your kid’s life. It’s not a revolving door, and the kid is going to need you, both of you, in one way or another. Sure, he’ll have us, but it’s not the same as having two loving parents. Look at Urameshi’s family, and mine. He grew up without a father, and I grew up without a mother. We were always getting ourselves into trouble as kids.”

Hiei felt himself sink lower. Being parentless himself, the fire demon could acknowledge the veracity of the psychic’s words. It didn’t make him feel any more prepared in becoming a parent. “Knowing Botan,” Kuwabara continued, “she won’t even expect you to be there all the time because of your life in Demon World. As long as your son knows that you’ll always come back, he’ll be okay.”

“How do you know the child is a boy?” Hiei questioned defensively. “The ferry girl has been keeping it secret.”

Kuwabara just smiled and said, “Intuition, and, by your reaction, I’m judging that my record of being right about this stuff hasn’t failed.”

“Hn.”

Hiei set his bottle of beer down on the table and marinated on his teammate’s words. The feeling of anxiety didn’t leave him, but he felt that talking to the psychic helped him gain more clarity. “Thanks for the beer.” Hiei disappeared as soon as he said that, but both of them knew that Hiei was thanking Kuwabara for more than just the beer. Hiei, in his own way, was thanking him for the talk. Maybe, just maybe, Kuwabara wasn’t as much of a fool as Hiei once thought.

It was mid-afternoon, and Botan had yet to see Hiei for the day. She tried not to let it bother her. Hiei had been around a lot more lately, and he was always extremely helpful. Botan had to trust that he was off taking some much deserved ‘me time’. She giggled at the thought figuring Hiei wouldn’t like her calling his training that.

So, full of positivity, she made sure to have a productive day. She managed to do some yoga in the morning before breakfast which energized her for the day. For the first time, she had to pry herself up using the couch. Then, she had a nice breakfast. She and her son were both ravenous during the morning, so she made everything she could think of. Strangely enough, she ate it all too. She also made sure to keep drinking water, but that resulted in her needing to pee for the rest of the morning. Eventually, she tired of running to the bathroom and decided to give herself a break.

It was then she took out her book to read about all of her son’s milestones. The fact that she started moving slower and had to change how she walked was not a mystery considering her little bundle was already about the size of a small doll. Sure, breaking one-pound mark didn’t make too much of a difference, but where that weight was allocated certainly did. And he was about eleven inches now, too. Either way, he was growing, and Botan found herself grinning from ear to ear. She couldn’t wait for her little one to be born so she could hold him. He still had quite a bit of growing to do in the meantime. She would just have to find a way to be patient.

The baby was becoming ever more aware, sensing the world around him as his vision and hearing grew stronger. If the book was to be believed, his grip was getting stronger too. He could perceive light and dark, now, so Botan wondered if he was aware of night and day like they were. A few lines down contradicted that thought stating that, unless she were shining a flashlight over her belly, it would be mostly dark in there. As disheartening as that seemed, Botan learned that he could hear her voice, her heartbeat, the sounds of her stomach, and even of the blood circulating through her body. At least he had that. Botan honestly hoped her baby was having a good time in there and felt safe and cozy.

All of this was good news, although Botan wasn’t immune to the side effects going on with her body at the moment. Her feet were swollen almost every day despite how often she put her feet up. She knew it was due to normal pregnancy swelling and also because of the relaxin hormone. It read that the hormone would loosen all of her ligaments, including those in the feet, and the bones underneath them spread slightly. That alone could result in a half to whole shoe size of increase. Her sneakers and other shoes were beginning to feel uncomfortably tight. If this kept up, she’d need to get new shoes on top of everything else her friends were buying for her. She didn’t know how she felt about that.

Reading more of the book proved to improve Botan’s mood a bit, after she glazed over the supposedly not terrifying sections about Braxton Hicks contractions and testing for risk of preterm labor. The ferry girl laughed at the section teaching her how to cope with the ‘tummy touchers’. It happened quite a few times, Botan put off a little bit by the well-meaning women and men while she need to hold Hiei back from retaliating.

It can be anyone, even complete strangers, and who can blame them? After all, pregnant tummies are so round and cute and house something even cuter. They practically beg to be touched. You may not mind being treated like an exhibit at a children’s museum, and if you’re a touchy-freely person yourself, you may even welcome the public display of affection for your baby bump, but if you do mind there are a couple of approaches you can take. One, you can gently, but firmly tell them how you feel, like “I know it’s tempting, but I really would rather you didn’t touch my stomach.” Two, you can back away and dodge their advances. Or three, you can turn the tables by teasingly giving them a belly rub in return (which can be especially effective with middle-aged men sporting large tummies themselves). Remember, you’re sharing your body on the inside. You don’t need to share it on the outside too.

All of that gave Botan a laugh, though she sweat-dropped over the third option. For some reason, she didn’t think Hiei would take too kindly to her responding to any man in that regard.

Well, in acknowledgement of sharing her body, her son gave a very strong kick that took the woman aback. She looked down at her abdomen and smiled admonishingly. “Oh you,” she chimed and stroked her bump. “Try to take it easy on me, will you?” In response, she received a few more gentle thumps. “You know what we need? A bath!”

Yes, taking a bath sounded like a good way to spend the rest of their day.

Hiei returned to the apartment a couple hours after his talk with Kuwabara. He felt a bit more settled after reflecting on the psychic’s words. His anxiety was still buried underneath everything else, but he had, in a way, made his decision. Kuwabara made two points that Hiei could not get out of his mind. One, he couldn’t just come and go from his son’s life. Of course, there would be the time he would have to tend to his duties in Demon World, but he couldn’t just forget about the kid. Even if he questioned the type of father he would be, he would still have Botan to pick up his slack. That brought him to the second point.

Were he and Botan together?

Botan asked him that very same question the week prior, and he spent the past hours trying to figure out an answer. There was none he could give right now to her or their teammate. As far as the pregnancy went, he was with her, and as for being a parent he would share in the responsibility. But were they together? During the nights, it seemed like it, but Hiei could not break the bars that kept him from fully submerging himself in a relationship.

A wave of panic washed over him out of nowhere as he felt a twinge in his mind. It was as if he could hear the woman crying out, her fear evident in her tone and emotions as he watched her with the Jagan. The pain he felt was real, and he found himself racing back to the apartment. He entered through a window and raced to where he sensed the woman. He found her in the bathroom, his eyes wide as the Jagan’s light faded.

There Botan was, in the tub, crying hysterically as her anxiety poured off of her. She was truly terrified.

The fire demon knelt down by the tub and called her name which caught the woman’s attention. His breath caught in his throat when her watery pools of amethyst met his worried eyes. For a moment, he couldn’t even think. His first reaction was to yell. “Woman, what’s the matter with you?”

“I-I-I…” Botan stammered before she cried harder and buried herself in her arms. She wailed against her naked skin. “I’m stuck!”

Hiei’s expression softened slightly, but he looked to the tub of water and saw that she still had plenty of room to move. “Are you serious?”

Botan then met his gaze again, her eyes full of fear as tears poured down her face again. “I couldn’t get up,” she pathetically cried. “I’ve been trying to get up for hours, but every way I try…everything hurts, and I couldn’t turn around because I was afraid I’d hurt him. And I can’t get out!”

Hiei finally understood what had Botan so panicked. The woman felt trapped, and she had no idea when he’d be home to free her. He didn’t understand why he didn’t feel her panicking earlier. Honestly, that was his own fault, and he knew it. He had been so lost in thought because of his own problems that he hardly tuned into what was going on with the woman. His heart began to race as he realized the implication of what had happened.

He yelled at her because he had been afraid…afraid that the ferry girl was in mortal danger or wounded. It didn’t matter that she was just stuck in the bathtub. She could have just as easily been in the hands of his enemies at that moment or actually hurt. And he wouldn’t have known because he was too busy thinking about whether or not he saw them as an item?

Quickly, Hiei pulled Botan up, got her out of the water and wrapped in a towel. The woman continued to sob hysterically, emotionally overwhelmed from her struggles. Hiei brought her to her room and lied her down in her bed. He joined her and stayed with her, held her while she cried. Gently, he stroked her hair to soothe her. His eyes rested on her tear-stricken face. Hiei used his heat to warm her body. Why was she so cold? He shook his head and tried to rid himself of his concerns.

Eventually, she fell asleep against him, knowing she was safe in her lover’s arms. It didn’t even bother her that she was still naked and only wrapped in a towel. Botan felt completely comfortable, and Hiei could tell as she drifted. He sighed and nestled her against his body, his chin rested on top of her head. Now, that he had her in his arms, he realized that his earlier internal debate no longer mattered. It didn’t matter if he didn’t know if they were together. It didn’t matter if he didn’t consider her more than what they were. Right now, they were a team, and Hiei took his partnerships seriously. He was loyal to her, plain and simple, and he gave her his word to stay. It was time to put this debate to rest, for now at least.

A day like today…it couldn’t happen again. He would not let her feel that fear again.

The rest of the week went by without another incident other than Botan’s normal discomfort. Hiei hardly strayed from her side since the bathtub incident. He ignored her apology for the fact that she had been so upset that night. She tried to laugh about it with him, but he dismissed it. Still, he was unusually moody whenever she mentioned it, and Botan was concerned. She let it go, worried she would say something to set the fire demon off. It was better to sit in silence and let the man brood for a bit. Besides, a quiet afternoon was sometimes cathartic.

Botan rested peacefully on the couch, her eyes closed as she let the warmth of the sun wash over her. It had been a while since she felt so unbelievably calm and relaxed. Hiei was nearby, sitting over by the window and propping his leg up as he lied back against a platform they had on front of the sill. Botan smiled at the thought that Hiei was trying to relax himself. Everyone knew they needed it.

Out of nowhere, peace was broken, as Botan cried out in agony. A sudden pain shot through her leg. Tears fell at the immense pain caused by a tightness. It had been a bit since she felt a leg cramp this painful. She was starting to get them again, but none were as abrupt and forceful as this pang seemed to be. Surprising to Botan, Hiei was by her side instantly to assist her with the leg cramp as he had done quite a few times. The first time, it amazed her, and this time was no different, especially when he said, “You should probably get magnesium pills if you aren’t taking them.”

Botan openly gawped at him, surprised by the suggestion. He could tell that she was refraining from asking any invasive questions despite her curiosity and decided to finally reveal what he had been doing. “I’ve been sneaking peeks at your book to understand what’s happening.”

His admittance made Botan smile so brightly at him. So, that was how he knew how to handle her leg cramps effectively, how he knew what to do for her back, how he knew how to keep her eating, and many other things. “That’s actually really sweet of you, Hiei.” He abruptly looked into her eyes, and Botan realized she was caught staring at him. She hadn’t even realized it until their eyes met that her eyes were on him. Still, she didn’t tear her gaze away.

Hiei took a seat beside her and kept her leg propped up as he continued to flex her heel back and forth. “I haven’t just been reading your book,” he communicated, surprised he felt the desire to engage in this kind of discussion. He took a deep breath and continued to hold her gaze. “The book Kurama gave me… It says I should be sharing my anxieties and let you do the same.” Botan could hardly contain her shock, but she offered the fire demon a patient smile and a nod. He took that as encouragement.

So, for the first time since this ordeal started, Hiei shared all his concerns with Botan…about everything. The ferry girl listened, noting that she shared some of Hiei’s concerns, but in different context. They both questioned their competency as parents, and, although Botan already knew this about Hiei, when he started sharing stories of his childhood, she could finally understand. Hiei had no one to raise him. He practically raised himself after being tossed away like he didn’t matter. The fire demon closed himself off to others as a result, and so anything akin to emotion he avoided. Botan lied back against a couch pillow and listened to his life stories. She was so enthralled by what he told her, the opposite effect that Hiei thought he would have. His life was cold, dark, and dangerous. He had been a sadistic, callous kid, and he was hardly any different as an adult, yet Botan pointed out his tender side. She pointed to her legs that Hiei allowed to rest over his lap. Hiei shook his head and told her she didn’t get it.

But Botan assured him that she did, took his hand in hers, and squeezed it reassuringly. “I don’t know anything about living a normal, human life, either,” she confessed to him. “I didn’t grow up like our friends did. As far as life in this living world, I’ve simply followed the lead of our friends. I imagine living a normal life here all the time, but I know I’ll always have duties as a ferry girl…in Spirit World. I can’t always be here for the baby, and that scares me.”

Hiei was astonished; his crimson eyes questioned her. He assumed that she planned to reside in this world for the rest of the child’s life, and he barely gave her Spirit World duties a second thought. Now, hearing her concern, he understood she was more like himself than he realized. It was one of his concerns with serving Mukuro.

At that moment, both of them released a heavy sigh at the same time.

Botan looked to her pensive partner, gripped his hand tighter, and beamed brightly at the demon. His expression was stoic, but Botan could tell he was troubled. “But don’t worry,” she pacified. “I have no doubt we’ll figure all this out.”

Hiei wasn’t so sure about that but confiding his concerns actually did make him feel lighter. He expected Botan to be horrified by his life’s stories. They didn’t bother him in the slightest. He was a survivor in a kill or be killed world, and his pursuit of strength took him to the darkest of places. With someone as light as the ferry girl, Hiei expected to be judged, for her to be appalled by the life he chose to lead, and yet she surprised him by hanging onto every word and continuing to be positive and believe in him.

Despite his uncertainties, they were at least on the same page. It was actually quite a relief to know that. Maybe those books had some merits after all, and maybe Hiei should have been confiding in the woman, or even his other comrades, all along.

Well, it was better late than never, he guessed.

Chapter Text

A cool breeze filled the apartment. Botan shivered slightly as she wrapped her brown-red cardigan around her and nursed her cup of tea and plate of strawberries. She was focused on her new laptop, a gift from Kurama the previous week. He gave it to her so that she could look more stuff up about her pregnancy if the book didn’t cover everything. He told her she could also use it to jot down her thoughts and symptoms to keep track. Right now, she was just looking for things to do. It was the first week of October, and they were officially deep into fall.

To keep up her spirits, Botan wanted to find activities she and Hiei could do together like apple picking or going to festivals. Honestly, she had been feeling down the last few days. The last time she had been out, she and Hiei went to the park, to ‘train’ together. She did her yoga while Hiei practiced his kata, and, following their exercises, they went for a walk around the park. It had been a lovely day. The following day, however, the temperature dropped, and Botan needed to stay in. The woman realized that they might not be able to do that stuff anymore, especially now that it was getting colder. It saddened her, but at least she could try to find ways to spend time with the fire demon.

While she was busy at work, she didn’t notice Hiei coming into the kitchen. The fire demon took in the sight of Botan with her meager meal and frowned. He wondered if it was due to distraction or if she was feeling less than ideal. He thought the nausea symptom was done. Immediately he headed to the refrigerator, rummaged through, and took out some eggs. Botan was definitely distracted; the sounds of his movements did not call her attention. He looked to her plate and blurted out a question, causing her to jump slightly. “Is that all you’re going to eat, or can you stomach more?”

Botan was surprised by the sound of Hiei’s voice, startled, but, once her eyes fell on him, she smiled brightly and nodded. She had to hold back a giggle when she thought she caught a red dusting appearing on the fire demon’s cheeks. He turned away from her, but she watched him work. He knew what tools to take out and how to crack an egg. It was fascinating to watch, honestly. “I’m surprised you know how to cook,” she marveled, and Hiei paused in his action for a second before he resumed his task.

“You can blame Kurama’s infernal mother for that,” he admitted. “One time, I was there, and she needed help in the kitchen as she cooked. The fox was still in school, so she recruited me. It was pitifully simple.”

The ferry girl covered her mouth to contain her laugh, but a smart snort made its way out. “How did you get wrangled into that one?”

Hiei shrugged. “The woman caught me in his room.”

Purple eyes widened. “When was this?”

“Back when I was on probation,” Hiei answered nonchalantly. He poured his egg mixture into a heated pan. “I was trapped in the city, and when I was bored, I frequented the fox’s house.”

Botan smiled, beside herself. “I’m glad you had a place to go and a friend.”

Again, Hiei froze for a moment as he took in her words. His attention turned back to their breakfast as he stated, “I guess that’s one way of seeing it.”

The conversation ended there, and Hiei finished fixing up their scrambled eggs. The two then ate in companionable silence.

As the week went on, Hiei was distracted from his anxiety, but only momentarily. It was hard to focus on anything else due to a particular entry in his book…and he thought he left all this stuff behind in the first trimester.

At this stage, your partner wants to spend more time in the bedroom —and no, she doesn’t want to sleep.

Seriously, how could he focus on anything besides Botan and his desire when the pages were filled with suggestions on how to pleasure his partner? And in truth, how could he focus on self-depreciating thoughts when Botan’s hormones were indeed making her more…frisky? He was still disturbed with how graphic this book could be, describing, in detail, certain things and positions to do. A plethora of dirty images and scenarios flooded the fire demon’s mind.

Even without the book to ‘guide’ him through a sexual encounter, he and Botan had become quite active over the past week. In those moments, Hiei’s anxiety would decrease down to nothing. It was once he returned to reality where his struggles lied. He just didn’t understand why he couldn’t make a decision anymore. He continuously questioned in his mind when everything became so complicated.

At the same time, Hiei wanted to make sure Botan was taken care of. She had become an emotional wreck, too, for other reasons including the pain. When she returned to reality, she was distant, stressed, and, at times, overwhelmed. She had a lot more going on, so he needed to suck it up and just be there for her. And then, at the end of the day, in the comfort of their own private world, maybe he’d try one of those positions his book suggested.

On Botan’s end, during this twenty-third week, her moods and attitude were all over the place. At nights, everything seemed wonderful, and Botan’s confidence would return to her. Hiei seemed to be in a better place after their talk the week prior, and Botan was prepared to work with him through his issues. He decided to stick around and become active in his role as her partner in this.

During the days, though, Botan really didn’t know what to do.

Her mood would drop once she awoke. She didn’t know if it was because of the weather or because of her hormones. She would grab her book to read about her baby to make herself feel better, but the impending side effects seemed to leave her feeling slightly more upset. That always left her feeling a little guilty. How could she be so upset over what was happening to her body when her little one was reaching the eleven inches mark and gained weight so he now weighed a little over a pound? How could vanity outshine the fact that her baby boy was going to double his weight in the next month and that he would become less transparent as fat deposits started to settle in? He was a little person inside of her, growing so quickly, and she was worried over a line that would develop on her skin.

The book warned her that her mind was feeling a little fuzzy due to progesterone. Her toes and feet were growing despite her every effort to keep them elevated. The palms of her hands and soles of her feet were red, and she was more prone to heat rash and skin tags. Her stretch marks were all over the place. And then that line…that ‘linea nigra…’ That was starting to appear down her belly. It wasn’t fully developed yet, but it was caused by a pregnancy hormone that was causing skin discoloration on random spots on her body. She shouldn’t be completely bothered considering the information read that all the skin changes would fade a few months after delivery. Perhaps it was her fuzzy brain that was causing her to be so irrational. She just couldn’t help it.

Is your growing bundle of joy making you a quivering bundle of nerves? the book questioned before it suggested, Try learning to relax. Yoga is a fabulous de-stressor, but here is a pregnancy meditation technique you can use just about anywhere, anytime, to soothe your soul.

Meditation, huh? Botan never once considered any kind of mediation techniques. She mentally kicked herself for forgetting something so base in her line of work. She had seen all of her friends meditate in some form throughout all the years and all their cases, though some were better at it than others. It helped them to become one with their spirit energy and focus. Maybe that’s what she needed.

Sit with your eyes closed and imagine a beautiful, peaceful scene. Working your way up from your toes to your face, concentrate on relaxing every muscle. Breathe slowly, deeply, only through your nose, and choose a simple word like ‘yes’ or ‘one’ to repeat every time you exhale. Ten to twenty minutes should do the trick, though even a minute is better than nothing.

Well, Botan figured she had nothing to lose at this point and made herself comfortable on the couch with her legs crossed, surprised she could even still do that. She closed her eyes and pictured every soothing scene she could imagine. Through her trips of ferrying souls, she had seen such beautiful scenery. Her mind went to the image of a beautiful sunset over a beach with waves gently lapping the shore before her mind went to her favorite image of a serene mountainside with a babbling brook. Once settled, a peaceful smile fell across her features, and she began to focus on her breathing. She was mindful of her inhales and exhales and then, as the book suggested, she repeatedly murmured the word ‘one’.

Just because she was mindful of her breathing didn’t mean she was aware of what was going on around her. Hiei came from his room and found Botan doing some deep breathing and counting in a way that was going nowhere. One of his brows arched, not really understanding what the woman was trying to do. His curiosity got the better of him, and his voice cut into her counting. “What are you doing?”

Hiei’s voice startled Botan, and she nearly fell over as her eyes opened and widened. She caught herself on the couch and looked over to her baffled partner sheepishly. “Oh, h-hi Hiei,” she greeted in her embarrassment before she released a nervous giggle. Hiei’s brow quirked further; confusion and uncertainty glossed over his eyes. Completely mortified, Botan decided to leave the room, and Hiei’s gaze followed her.

“What a strange woman,” Hiei mumbled before he shook his head and turned his attention to the dishes in the sink. Sometimes he just didn’t understand that ferry girl.

While you’re weeks away from meeting the baby, it’s time to start thinking about maternity leave, Botan read. Connect with both HR and your supervisor to make sure you’re all on the same page.

Botan sighed as she thought about Spirit World. It had been a while since she had spoken to Koenma. The book actually brought up some of her fears. She knew that this time off was for the baby’s sake, so she could deliver him safely, and then after she needed to return to Spirit World and catch up and everything she missed over these months. Despite what she really wanted, to stay in Human World with her baby, she couldn’t really do that. She would have to return to her duties as chief ferry girl. There was no such thing as retirement in her line of work. She was already taking off for nine months. Would Koenma, as supportive and amazing as he was, allow her more time off as was customary for maternity leave? Given that Botan was so emotional at the moment, she didn’t think she could handle if the answer was ‘no’.

Don’t forget paternity leave. Have your partner ask what his employer offers. This time with the baby is often unpaid, but several states are working on changing that.

The ferry girl was certain that, like her duties, Hiei’s was unpaid as well, but she really never considered that. He came to her almost immediately after Kurama told him about the baby. Botan wasn’t foolish enough to believe it wasn’t the fox even though neither Hiei nor Kurama ever confirmed it. It hit her that the fire demon had completely given up his life, even though his original plans involved not staying with her and baby.

Hearing Hiei’s life story the week before made Botan realize that Hiei’s original feelings for their child were based on the survivor mentality he developed. He never considered a kid, never wanted one, because his childhood had been so wrought with danger and strife. His adult life hadn’t changed much. It was just more structured, Hiei being the leader of an army and all. That wasn’t the type of environment Hiei wanted for a child, and yet that was what he was. Because of that, there was no doubt in Botan’s mind that Hiei felt as inadequate as she did. Their child was going to have to live a life where his parents weren’t always going to be physically present for him. Tears filled Botan’s eyes. How were they going to do this?

“Here, you forgot this.”

Hiei entered Botan’s room carrying her water bottle. She started keeping it near her at all times to keep hydrated. She left it by the couch which Hiei noticed when he was cleaning. She needed to finish it so he could refill it. Of course, he didn’t expect to see her crying when he entered. His brow furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Botan lied as she tried to dry her tears. They ignored her and kept coming as she sobbed.

Hiei knew it was not ‘nothing’, but he had no right to pry. Still, he couldn’t really leave her like this. He went into her room and closed the door behind him. He was by her side a moment later. Botan didn’t even seem to register him being beside her until he climbed into her bed with her. She latched her arms around his neck, continued to sob against his chest. The fire demon was at a loss of what to do. He had never truly given her physical comfort before unless they were being intimate. Her sobs wouldn’t die down, but he could think of nothing to say to calm her. Instead, he just sat there in her desperate embrace and stared at a spot on the wall. Eventually, she’d tire herself out and stop crying. There was nothing else he could really do for her, now.

Hiei hadn’t left his room the next morning, his mind racing with thoughts. The night before, Botan cried herself to sleep in her room. After a few hours, he finally made the attempt to move, her grip slack once she was unconscious. Hiei barely slept that night. It had been the first he was alone in a while, and without the physical activities taking place and the exhaustion the accompanied them, his mind was on all of the uncertainties of his and Botan’s future.

For a while, Hiei had done a good job of putting his conflicting thoughts on the back burner. When he wasn’t training, he was with Botan, cooking for her and making sure she was taken care of. For all the free moments he had in between their passionate nights and mundane days, he did whatever chores he could think of. What used to be a tedious errand was actually a decent distraction. He had to have cleaned the apartment five times in the last two weeks. It wasn’t much, but at least it was something. He needed to keep his mind off the choices he had to make.

One, namely, was that he didn’t know anymore if he wanted to leave or not after the baby’s birth. He was still settled that he would, but there was a part of him that was slowly coming around to the idea of visiting. At the same time, he knew that if he left, he and Botan would be coparents and friends and nothing more. Despite how healthy that would be, Hiei didn’t think he could handle interacting with the woman normally. He also didn’t think he could commit to her. Either way, somehow she’d be hurt, and facing her wouldn’t be an option. Plus, there was no way he would be able to talk to her about this inner debate because right now she was crying over the strangest things for hours, upsetting herself and the baby. This uncertainty would need to be kept quiet for the time being, and it was driving him mad.

Then there was the topic of his life. It was not suitable for raising a child. He would need to return to Demon World, most likely after the child was born. He had already been gone too long as it is. A thought occurred to him. He hadn’t told Mukuro anything. At first, his plan was simple: to ascertain if the fox’s statements were true and to tell the woman where she and the child could go. But Botan had been highly upset and sick and volatile, and Hiei’s priorities changed. Despite telling her exactly how he felt in the beginning, something that recently he was starting to feel guilt over, Botan needed his presence. Until their fight… Then, Botan was ready to send him away. He meant what he said then, but he didn’t still feel the same way weeks later. Yes, the woman and the child were an unwanted obligation, but slowly they were becoming more than that, and Hiei didn’t know what to do with those feelings.

If nothing else, Hiei needed to take some sort of action. He fled Mukuro’s so quickly and never told her when he would return. She would notice his absence, definitely, but that never bothered her in the past. Of course, before, he would tell her where he was going and what he was doing. The former king never expected him back in any set time. Still, there was always an understanding that he was to inform her of his trips to Human World. This was definitely the longest he took by far.

Removing his bandana and opening up the Jagan, he was about to initiate the lines of communication with his boss.

“Hiei?”

The fire demon felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over him, and instantly the Jagan snapped shut. He looked at his door, a bit surprised Botan was awake so early. After replacing his headband, he went to answer the door. A timid and sad Botan stood opposite from him, and a sigh escaped the fire demon as he let her in. “What is it?” he asked, though his voice didn’t hold any irritation or bite.

“I’m sorry about last night,” the ferry girl apologized. She bowing her head as if she were waiting for him to ream her.

“Sorry for what?” Hiei practically hissed. What did the woman think she did now?

“I…” she began before hesitating. “I know lately we’ve been…” She didn’t need to finish the sentence for Hiei to catch her drift. “I didn’t mean to get so upset that we missed ‘us’ time.”

“Botan…” Hiei called her name admonishingly, nearly choking on it. “That isn’t something you need to apologize over. It’s fine.” Honestly, it was. Just because Hiei didn’t get his chance at escape the night before didn’t mean he was going to give her a hard time over it. “Come here,” he ordered. Botan listened and let her feet carry her to his bed. She sat down next to him, her expression looked so fallen. Hiei refrained from giving into his frustration over her quiet demeanor. “Tell me what this is really about.”

“You were right,” she whispered so softly Hiei almost couldn’t hear her. “I didn’t think any of this through. I’m a terrible mother.”

Hiei breathed out through his nose and closed his eyes to keep himself centered and calm. When he opened them again, he regarded her with his impassive gaze. “What makes you say that?”

“I wanted the baby,” she reminded him, “but I didn’t think of how life would go after having the baby. I assumed everything would work itself out, but I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what I’m doing. What if he grows up to hate me because I can’t be what he needs me to be? I didn’t consider what he might want and only focused on what I wanted. I’m terrible.”

Again, Botan was in tears, and almost all of what she said made absolutely no sense. She hadn’t truly explained what was bothering her, but it was most likely because she couldn’t think straight. He knew right now she was dealing with that fuzzy, distorted mind crap her book warned her about. Still, there was one thing that she said that he couldn’t let lie.

“Our son will not hate you.”

Through her tears, Botan’s eyes met Hiei’s, and he looked completely certain and serious. “W-what?”

“The boy will not hate you,” Hiei said, softer this time. “If we’re questioning anyone’s competence as a parent, it’s me. And I wasn’t ‘right’. You are not terrible. This just…is.”

Botan listened to his words, and she tried to think over them, but her head just hurt from trying. She decided maybe she needed to stop thinking, but that meant she wasn’t going to fully reflect on Hiei’s more positive statements. If anything, it caused her mood to lessen. Hiei noticed that she was feeling very low for days now, and he knew he needed to do something to improve her mood. He had no idea as to what. The previous night, he sat with her. Now, he used his words to try to comfort her. Still, nothing he did worked. The problem was he didn’t know what more to do.

An idea struck him as Botan lied down beside him. Hiei, once again, removed the white cloth over his third eye. This time, his goal was to contact someone else. Fox.

Kurama was in his room doing some paperwork for his stepfather’s company. Surprised by the interruption, he looked up at the ceiling, having heard the sound of his friend’s voice in his head. Hello, Hiei. It’s been a while.

Whatever, the fire demon mentally grumbled which caused the fox demon to chuckle.

To what do I owe this mental call?

I need help with Botan.

Kurama wasn’t sure he heard right, but he was certain Hiei just called the ferry girl by her first name. That was the first time he ever did in any of the times they had spoken of the woman. A smirk graced Kurama’s features, and he gathered that Hiei was starting to give into his feelings for the upbeat ferry girl. Is she all right? How can I help?

She’s not in the best of moods, Hiei informed him. The tone Kurama heard was somber with a tinge of concern.

Has she been getting out of the apartment lately? That could be contributing to her mood. As silly as it sounds, weather can also contribute to mood, not to mention any hormonal changes.

Hiei grit his teeth. He already knew all of that. Honestly, he didn’t think Botan had been out of the house in a couple of weeks. She probably felt isolated. Whatever it was, he needed to get her mind off of it, off of everything. Of course, he didn’t need to answer the fox’s question for Kurama offered him a suggestion. Why don’t the two of you come over later for family dinner? he suggested. Mother will be very happy to see Botan and you.

It wasn’t the best suggestion in Hiei’s mind, though it also wasn’t the worst. Botan would probably be happy to see the redhead’s family. The fire demon swallowed his pride and accepted the invitation. We’ll be there. With that, he cut the communication with the other demon without even caring what his response would be.

Botan’s spirits did pick up slightly when Hiei informed her of their dinner plans. It had been a long time since Botan last saw Kurama’s family, only his mother the day she found out she was pregnant. Her energy returned to her. If she could, she would have skipped happily down the street to the family home. Of course, that would be a little difficult now with her back and joints. She just had to settle for regular walking for now.

At the home, Hiei was forced to see and endure the family dynamic once again. He had seen the antics of the Minamino’s household plenty in the past, but back then he never desired to have a family of his own, so he overlooked it, deemed it unimportant at the time. This time, however, he was more attuned to the conversations going on around him between Kurama, his stepfather, and his stepbrother, and even Shiori’s with Botan. The older woman asked Botan about her pregnancy, offered some motherly advice. He could see Botan smile from the corner of his eye as she answered all of the woman’s questions without hesitation. Hiei looked away, though, when Shiori’s attention turned to him after Botan said he had been such a big help. He could see it in the human woman’s eyes that she could put two and two together, much like the fox. She offered him a sincere congratulations, and Hiei could only nod in response.

They stayed at the house a couple hours after dinner and, when they left, Shiori told both Botan and Hiei to come for dinner any time. Hiei smirked and decided to be cheeky as the fox smirked at him. The attention had solely been on the couple all night, after Shiori offered her sentiments. Then, everyone save Kurama asked the two about their relationship, if they were dating, if they were excited about bringing a life into the world…too much that frustrated Hiei and amused Kurama. He decided to bring his comrade into the limelight.

As he started to walk away with Botan, he called over his shoulder, “Only if Shuichi brings his girlfriend.”

Botan froze mid-step and looked back at the family. Shiori stared at her son with shock plastered on her face. It was clear Kurama hadn’t mentioned Hanako to his family at all. Immediately, Shiori went to question her son, and Kurama looked strangely nervous before he shot a subtle glare the fire demon’s way. It was Hiei’s turn to be amused.

Botan laughed nervously as they observed the family. Kurama gave a tight smile as his irritated eyes met Hiei’s proud gaze. “And I’ll see you at the park tomorrow, Hiei,” he said, his voice laced with the thinly veiled threat.

Hiei’s smirk became more devious and eager. He looked forward to the challenge. “Can’t wait.”

Botan still struggled at nights to sleep, and it didn’t help knowing that insomnia was a side effect. Her book warned her about it and so did Hanako as it was a symptom that afflicted more than seventy-five percent of all pregnant women. Botan tried everything she could. She couldn’t take medication for it, and certain teas she had to avoid. Even ones that Kurama gave her did not work much at all. One of the guide’s suggestions was to try sliding a pillow between her legs and resting with her knees bent. That had been highly uncomfortable for her, and she ended up throwing her pillow across the room, huffing in frustration.

Apparently, that caught the attention of another. Hiei came to her room and opened the door without knocking. His gaze softened when he saw her tears. “What are you doing?” he asked, realizing he had been asking that question a lot lately.

“I can’t sleep,” Botan admitted. “I knew I would have trouble, but I can’t…”

Hiei slowly walked into her room, sat down on the edge of her bed, and kicked off his shoes. Botan watched him carefully before she met his gaze with questioning eyes. “Lie down,” the fire demon ordered gently. “I’ll stay with you.”

Botan shouldn’t have been surprised. She and Hiei had spent quite a few nights together, but sleeping wasn’t usually on either of their minds. Hiei knew she was overtired, and so he sent her to her room so that she could get a good night sleep. Now that sleep alluded her, he was joining her. It actually warmed Botan’s heart, and her mood picked up even more.

Hiei allowed Botan to curl up into him; his heat warmed her and lulled her to sleep. He didn’t flinch when she entangled their legs together. The woman was having such a rough time with all of this, and her comfort needed to come first. Hiei continued to remind himself of that and hoped that by going out of his comfort zone he was actually helping this woman.

Once she seemed to be out, he adjusted their positions slightly, his arm wrapped around the ferry girl. He closed his eyes, and allowed himself to fall asleep.

He woke up moments later, in a meadow of all places.

Hiei looked around, confused by his surroundings. Eventually, he realized he was having a dream. He grimaced. Usually, his dreams turned into nightmares, most recently one featuring the ferry girl herself. It had not been pleasant.

This, though, this dream had Hiei feeling lighter. “Hiei!”

He turned at the sound of his name and saw Botan sitting on a picnic blanket. She was beaming brightly at him, and he went to her as if his legs had a mind of their own.

“Daddy!”

Hiei froze, his core striking him as he turned to see a little boy run towards him. The fire demon could hardly speak, hardly move, as the child raced over to him and hugged him around his middle. The movement took Hiei aback, and he fell down to the ground. Botan’s happy laugh sounded from beside him. Hiei looked up at the boy with hair that was black with a blue sheen and eyes just like his mother’s. The fire demon was paralyzed, but he felt a deep calm surround him as he moved to gently ruffle the boy’s hair.

The child’s beaming smile faded into the darkness as Hiei woke up, shot awake. Surprisingly, Botan was up with him, and the two exchanged confused glances. Hiei wondered why the ferry girl looked so completely puzzled before he realized that the Jagan was fully open. It must have projected his dream onto her mind, including all the intense emotions that came with it. “Do you think that was real?” was the only question Botan had, her voice shaky with emotion and fragile hope.

“I don’t know,” Hiei admitted. Truthfully, he couldn’t tell if it was a random dream like his past nightmare or if it was their son trying to contact him again through the Jagan as he had before. He wanted to believe it was the latter. He wanted it.

Seeing Botan’s fallen expression, Hiei took her hand and admitted to her, “But I want it to be.” Finally, she smiled again, her eyes full of complex emotions Hiei could hardly read.

His thoughts weren’t free to linger on trying to figure her out as Botan jumped him and kissed him with such passion and love. Hiei didn’t stop her, his hand gently glided up her back to cradle and rest below her neck. He allowed her to set the pace since she had taken the initiative, and she surprised him when she pushed him back against the bed. Smirking into the kiss, Hiei entangled his hand into her soft hair, quite enjoying this ‘side effect’ of her pregnancy. He was looking forward to what she had in store for him.

But she never moved much further.

Instead, she cuddled up to him again and held him tightly as she rested her head against his chest. She still wore that brilliant smile of hers as her hand glided up and down his chest and torso. At first, Hiei tensed at her ministrations, but he allowed himself to relax. He realized he trusted her to have her way with him, and so he let her continue even though he would have rather her attentions be a bit more carnal. The peace he started to feel washed over him again, and his grip tightened on the ferry girl as the two of them drifted off to sleep, more hopeful of their uncertain future thanks to that short and wonderful dream.

Chapter Text

Botan didn’t like what she was feeling lately. She was so beside herself with emotion that some days it was unbearable. Strangely enough, Hiei acted like a true partner to her. He listened to her fears, forced them out of her when she was so stubbornly trying to hide them. The ferry girl enjoyed every moment she spent with the fire demon. Honestly, their dynamic had been changing for a while now.

Of course, with that, her hormones were going crazy. They had been intimate many times, but lately, she felt like it wasn’t enough. She wanted more of Hiei. Where she knew he wouldn’t mind, Botan still was hesitant. She wasn’t used to feeling this sex-crazed, or as her book put it, ‘frisky’. She knew she wasn’t alone. Honestly, many of the women the book was geared to asked the same question.

Was it weird to be feeling this way? Wasn’t she supposed to be feeling more maternal instead of like an erotically charged teenager?

She threw herself back on her bed and felt completely hot and overwhelmed. Hiei was out training to protect her and their child, and all she could do was picture herself jumping him when he walked through the door. Botan didn’t care what the book or even Hanako said. Something was wrong with her…plain and simple.

Hiei never seemed bothered by her behavior as of late, even though there were times he tried to coax her to rest instead of always giving into her urges. She truly felt badly of the times where they hadn’t been able to be together because of her emotional reactions. But lately, even when they weren’t actively engaged in their relations, they had been spending many more moments together just simply being. Botan enjoyed those moments most of all because she felt like herself. She felt like she was growing closer to Hiei as well. The ferry girl wished she knew what Hiei was thinking. He had been completely tight-lipped since the night they shared that vision. It had been the most surreal experience, and, where they both admitted they wanted it, neither of them mentioned it again.

The guide she read indicated that it was important for she and Hiei to be able to communicate clearly what was happening between them. She needed to let him know exactly how she felt and try to understand what he was feeling. Deep down, she wanted to understand the fire demon. Hiei had become an integral part of her life, and the feelings of affection her heart held towards him were only starting to grow. A smile graced her features as she realized they were in this together. All of her silly fears and concerns about where they were going left her, and a downright carnal thought entered her mind. An impish glint flashed in her eyes as she went straight to her room. The woman planned to turn that fleeting, powerful fantasy into a reality they could enjoy, just the two of them.

Of course, she wouldn’t know that Hiei was lost in his own miasma of thought. He was completely bewildered by everything going on. Between the possibility that their son contacted him and Botan’s increasing need to be near him, Hiei found himself overwhelmed. He knew the ferry girl fairly well, had become closer to her over the last few months, and as much of a voyeur she was, she was still highly naïve. That point had been proven to him whenever she mentioned the sensual desires she had towards him and the guilt she felt in the beginning. Now, it was as is she was insatiable. He didn’t mind her impulses, but he feared that when the hormonal haze died down she would regret her actions. As much as it dragged him outside of his comfort zone, Hiei tried to prolong their moments of intimacy, sleeping in the same bed as Botan, holding her in his warm embrace, taking her hand when she was upset, among many other types of contact. He found he didn’t want her to regret all those moments.

It was since their son contacted them, as Hiei chose to believe, that the fire demon had even an inkling of what he wanted.

Hiei finally came home from the park and expected to find Botan on her new computer, but the apartment was quiet. At first, a part of him worried, but he knew she was safe at home. He could feel it. So, he decided to go to her room, thinking that maybe she was napping. That would actually be a relief if she were. Her insomnia was starting to affect her negatively, and he wanted her to sleep.

She wasn’t in her room.

Still, he knew she had to be somewhere in the small apartment. Maybe she was taking a shower or something. He decided to just wait it out and headed to his room to drop off his sword. His eyes widened at the sight he beheld upon entering, and his sword clattered on the floor.

There, Botan was, sitting on his bed wearing nothing but the cardigan he stole for her. It covered her up yet left very little to the imagination, and the woman wore this coy yet timid little smile. Despite her attempts to be sexy, she remained shy and slightly shy. That barely registered in Hiei’s mind, the fire demon unable to take any of that into consideration as he flashed out of view and wound up in front of the woman, taking her offering of her body in a searing kiss. He felt the woman whimper against him, his arms wrapped around her to soothe her, making her feel safe and secure. Hiei was about to guide her, to lie her down on the bed when his mind remembered a warning of her comfort that was given to him by his own guide.

He repositioned them so that Botan was sitting on top of him, and she seemed so very confused by his actions, the sweater exposing her swelled belly to him. Innocent, purple pools questioned him, and Hiei’s lust-filled eyes soaked in her virtue. “You should set the pace,” he told her, his voice soft and encouraging. He took her hand and placed it on his chest. He kept his gaze focused on her eyes.

Botan was entranced by the fire demon, his crimson gaze drawing her in. She blinked back to reality and threw herself at him as she crashed her lips to his. Her sudden actions took Hiei by surprise, and his arms shot up to steady her if need be. He responded to her kiss, his outstretched, bandaged hand twitching for a moment before it moved from its position in the air to Botan’s hair. His grip tightened on her; he did not want to ever let her go.

It was starting to get dark when Botan stretched awake. A soft yawn escaped her as she turned over. Hiei was still asleep at her side, and she mentally giggled over how unsurprising the notion was. They had both been tired out immensely the previous night when Hiei showered her whole body with attention. She had been quite nervous. After all, she experienced that skin discoloration issue her book described, and some large line marred her body. Hiei didn’t seem to mind the horrid looking streak. Botan didn’t know this, but Hiei knew she’d be self-conscious over it. His own guidebook suggested reassuring her and admiring her beauty. He didn’t think anything of it as he worshiped her body the same way her bright energy nurtured his soul.

Botan couldn’t really complain how late they had been up when Hiei just made her feel so full and complete. She decided to use this newly refreshed energy. She got up and out of the bed carefully so as not to wake Hiei. Silently, she tiptoed to the kitchen and got started on making them breakfast. Pancakes were on the menu as the baby was currently craving them. Honestly, pancakes soaked in syrup had become one of Hiei’s favorites as well. Who would’ve ever thought the fire demon had a sweet tooth?

Once the morning hit, after eating a delicious breakfast, of course, Hiei finally bit the bullet and found time to communicate with Mukuro. After his first failed attempt, interrupted by Botan, the fire demon found himself putting it off. He had been at war with himself about what he wanted, but each passing day he found himself content. Being with Botan did something irrevocable to him, and his ambitions were not the same. Still, he had responsibilities to attend to and fierce loyalty to the former demon king. He could not leave her in the dark over this matter any longer. She deserved to know he had sired a child.

Hiei, he heard Mukuro’s voice tease. It’s been a long time. Now, tell me, how is your sister?

Yukina is faring well, Hiei clipped, grinding his teeth over the mocking nature of the woman’s baiting tone. That is not what I contacted you for.

I should hope not, the woman replied, her tone more serious. You disappeared months ago after landing many of my soldiers in the infirmary. I believe an explanation is in order. I’m cutting to the chase. Hiei, you’ve never been gone this long without communicating your whereabouts or plans. It’s been a little over five human months.

You’re right. Hiei took in a deep breath. This was it, the moment he had been reluctant to see through. I ran into some complications in Human World.

What kind of complications?

I’m preparing for the arrival of a child.

Hiei could feel Mukuro’s surprise and bewilderment, something that was as difficult to achieve as it was with the fox. Did you know of this when you left?

Yes, Hiei admitted. I had not confirmed it. The fox came to tell me that day, and I left soon after to find out the truth for myself.

And when are you planning to return?

Hiei hesitated. He looked over at the bedroom door and could Botan stirring around the apartment. An honest answer escaped him, one that was too honest for his taste. I don’t know. Mukuro was silent after his confession. Human pregnancies can take up to nine months, usually.

Amusement flooded his consciousness. And how, may I ask, did you entangle yourself with a human?

The fire demon gritted his teeth again over Mukuro’s mental laughter. She’s not exactly human. It is a ferry girl of Spirit World I have come to know in my dealings with them. As for how it happened, I would rather not discuss it.

There was a sharp bite to his mental tirade, and all of a sudden, he sensed pure, antagonistic delight from his superior. You mean that blue-haired ray of sunshine that always accompanies the Spirit World ruler? Hiei didn’t respond, and the woman took it as admittance, sobering up, but she still offered a comforting aura. She decided not to pester Hiei any further. Take the time you need to get your affairs in order, but I expect your return after the birth of the child, once you and the ferry girl come up with some type of parenting plan.

I never said I’d be parenting the child with the woman! Hiei snapped, getting defensive.

You never said you wouldn’t either, she pointed out.

Hiei growled and cut communication with the woman, the Jagan snapped shut. He didn’t even notice Botan standing in the room staring at him, having come to check on him. She noticed he was frustrated and glaring at a spot on the bed. “What’s wrong?” she asked kindly, hoping to help him.

“Meddlesome woman,” Hiei replied before he scoffed and stormed out of the room.

Botan watched the fire demon retreat, completely confused by his words. Murmuring to herself, she stated, “I wonder why asking him ‘what’s wrong’ made him call me meddlesome.”

What Botan didn’t know was that Hiei wasn’t talking about her. Either way, the ferry girl just assumed he was in one of his moods and decided to let him be. He would talk to her about it if it was something important. For now, she was ready for lunch. The baby was extremely hungry on this nice, fall day.

The following morning, Hiei found Botan reading her book, checking the latest information about the baby’s milestones. Curious, he paused in his stride and stopped behind her. He took a glance at the page and read with her over her shoulder. In the beginning of this whole journey, Hiei hardly cared for those milestones, and now part of him mentally kicked himself for ignoring them. All that time, Botan celebrated each tiny bit of growth alone. It was hard to conceive that he felt they should be going through them together. These last five months had really made him go soft.

Botan could feel his heat behind her and smiled. She made sure to turn the pages slower to give Hiei a chance to catch up. “Good morning,” she greeted warmly.

“Hn,” the fire demon grunted, eyeing a section about how their baby’s face was finally formed, down to his eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair. It was no surprise to Hiei, then, that the child had an appearance in that vision, although according to the book the child’s hair was white now without any pigment. He could even make out sounds, too, though Hiei was sure the child probably already could from the beginning, aware just as he had been. “You’re up early. Couldn’t sleep?”

Botan answered with a shrug and tired sigh. “I just have a lot on my mind,” she admitted.

Hiei’s brow quirked. “Like what?”

“Well, I have a doctor’s appointment today,” she murmured softly, her voice trailing off.

“I know,” Hiei stated, surprising Botan. “I remember.” Botan blinked away her shock, but she grinned again. Her mind went back to the first time she offered for Hiei to join to meet Hanako with her. Hiei’s own book had suggested it, but he rejected the offer. That didn’t matter much now, and there was no sense in either of them lingering on those thoughts. “Why is that bothering you?”

“I know it’s a routine checkup, but I was reading about what I should get done for the fall,” Botan began to explain, “and it said that starting this month I should be asking about the flu shot.” Hiei couldn’t stop himself from snickering at that. “What?”

“In your line of work, you’ve been zapped by my energy, fought alongside the detective in that bastard Tarukane’s stronghold, nearly been crushed in an exploding arena and by a blasted bookshelf, and you’re worried about something as insignificant as a shot?”

Botan gawped at Hiei, surprised he kept track of all of those occurrences. Honestly, she hadn’t been thinking about all of that when she read about getting vaccinated to protect herself from getting sick. “Well,” Botan replied indignantly, “I heard they hurt.”

“More than the backaches and leg cramps?”

She glanced over at him and noticed him smirking. A laugh escaped her, and she shook her head. “You’re enjoying this.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he lightheartedly jabbed. “It will be fine. Besides, I’ll be there with you.”

With his logic and him reassuring her like that, it was no wonder her nerves about the appointment instantly dissipated.

Hanako was always happy to see her patients in a good mood, and Botan had become closer to her than any other. Her blissful aura poured off her as soon as she entered the room, Hiei in tow. Even the fire demon seemed more settled, though he still seemed to be slightly at war with himself. The obstetrician heard from Shuichi how Hiei reached out to him for Botan’s benefit, a big step for the conflicted demon. The two were working on their issues. The psychic could see them growing closer, and she didn’t even need her abilities to tell her that.

“So, twenty-four weeks,” Hanako marveled as she put on her gloves. “How are you feeling?”

“Today, good,” Botan answered honestly. “At nights, I’m finding it harder to sleep. I know insomnia is part of it, caused by the hormone changes. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

“Do you get any sleep?” Hanako questioned, concerned. She really couldn’t prescribe Botan any sleep aids, but if she wasn’t sleeping at all then that could pose a health risk.

“Well,” Botan said, her eyes shifted over to Hiei who was looking the other way, “lately, it’s been a little better.” The shift was so slight and quick, but Hanako caught it and hid her supportive grin so as not to highlight it at the moment. “If I can’t sleep, I try to rest as much as possible, and I do drift at other times.”

“Continue to take advantage of all those moments,” Hanako instructed. Then she noticed Botan shake out her wrist. “Pain?”

Botan hesitated but nodded. “Yeah, a little. More tingly than anything. I don’t know why.”

“It’s probably carpel tunnel syndrome,” the doctor explained. “Pressure is being put on the nerve in your wrist. It’s just another one of those things that the pregnancy can do for various reasons. Try not to sleep on your hands and prop them up with a pillow at night. You can shake out your wrists, just like what you’re doing. Also, if you’re doing activities that require repetitive wrist motion, like typing, then you should definitely take frequent hand-stretching breaks. I can give you a list of hand stretches to alleviate the pressure. And don’t worry; it will go away after the pregnancy ends.”

Botan nodded, thankful for all of the tips. “Anyway, you’re scheduled to receive the flu vaccine and have blood drawn for a glucose test.”

The ferry girl tensed, looking to the doctor in shock. “A…glucose test?”

Hanako nodded and offered a sympathetic smile. “To check and see if gestational diabetes is a concern,” the woman informed her. “I’m sure we don’t have to worry about that, but it’s just a precaution.”

The doctor could tell Botan was hesitant but was pleasantly surprised when Hiei moved closer to the table. He took Botan’s hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze and a silent tell to the woman through his gaze that he was there for her. “Remember what we talked about, woman?”

Botan actually chuckled at that before she smiled and nodded. She still was timid and slightly fearful, but she returned Hiei’s grip with equal strength. “I remember,” she whispered to him. “I’m ridiculous, right?”

That I’m right here with you, he communicated to her privately. It had been a long time since Hiei invaded her thoughts, and Botan was surprised he did so to comfort her.

Right, she answered back, her mind feeling calmed by his presence.

Botan got through the shot and her test like a champ and only experienced mild discomfort. Afterwards, the doctor asked to have a word alone with the patient to ask about any uncomfortable symptoms she may be feeling that she didn’t want to discuss around Hiei. The fire demon understood and had no problem leaving the room, but outside reality once again settled in.

Alone in the waiting room, Hiei could see various couples, all smiling and happy. They looked so overjoyed being in that doctor’s office, a task that usually left Hiei himself feeling panicked. He managed to be a pillar for the woman that day, but he still wasn’t sure how everything would play out. He had only just come to terms with the fact that he wanted to be around the woman and their child, but he still didn’t know in what capacity he could or would be in the future. He didn’t know if he and the ferry girl even had a future beyond co-parenting the brat. He thought that last bit with more fondness than he had in the past.

“They all look really settled, don’t they?” a voice spoke from beside him, filled with the hesitance and envy Hiei felt. The fire demon turned to regard whoever dared to speak to him and saw some human stranger smiling a bittersweet grin. “You can tell they’re all ready for this.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted, prepared to walk away.

“I wish I was,” the stranger remarked again. Hiei was about to tell the idiot to buzz off when he said, “I can tell you’re in the same boat as me.”

“Excuse me?” Hiei growled indignantly.

“Well, you’re not over there with anyone,” he said, pointing to the waiting room before he pointed to the exam rooms, “and you’re not back there, so I assume you’re waiting for your baby’s mother and I’m guessing you guys aren’t together.”

Hiei’s brows furrowed, astonished that some random human could deduce something like that with minimal information. He dared to say his perception was similar to that of both his redheaded comrades. The fire demon didn’t offer a response. Somehow, the other guy took it as an invitation to continue prattling.

“I’m not in a relationship with the mother of my kid, either,” he admitted. “It just sort of happened, and it was completely unexpected. I was crazy panicked at the start, and this whole scenario truly terrifies me, especially because she and I weren’t all that close. Then, one day, I just accepted that it was what it was, and I decided to roll with it. So far, everything has been okay other than a health scare a little while back. As scary as it was, I think it brought us closer.”

As irritated as Hiei was that some peon he could care less for was divulging so much of his personal life—something no demon would ever subject themselves to due to their distrustful nature—he had to admit that a part of him did relate. Hiei thought back, when the man mentioned a health scare, back to the time when Botan fell down the stairs. That had been a bit of a changing point for them, and Hiei actually started to take part in the process. He had still been planning to leave and never return. So much had changed since then. Despite finding comfort with Botan, he still couldn’t fully accept just how much everything was changing.

“Anyway, now, she and I are acting as true partners,” the guy spoke warmly, his gaze going distant. “I honestly want to be around, and it doesn’t hurt to talk about your concerns often, even if you’re repeating yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rehashed the same crap. She’s really managed to put a lot of my fears to rest.”

Does this moron have a point? Hiei asked himself, especially when he noticed the human smiling at him. “Anyway,” the guy said, “I just thought that maybe my story might help you. I hope everything works out for you.” Hiei was about to snap at the guy but found he already walked away. It was surprising to Hiei that the idiot spoke so candidly that last moment, offering his unwanted advice. Hiei had been talking to Botan more, but not about his concerns for the future. That only happened once before and then Hiei didn’t want to stress Botan out further. At least he could try to take the stranger’s advice given that he was an unbiased third party. What did he have to lose, anyway?

Botan rubbed her palms on her pants as she read about a ‘babymoon’. She chuckled over the idea, a vacation for couples going through the whole ordeal. Hanako said Botan could still travel if she wanted. The doctor actually encouraged her to get out of the house more. The ferry girl believed Kurama had something to do with that suggest. Of course, Botan wouldn’t dare broach the subject of traveling with Hiei. Honestly, she was lucky he was tolerating the Human World city so well.

Again, her palms were bothering her, and Botan found herself itching them a lot during the day. She flipped the pages to find a section on symptoms. As expected, red, itchy palms was yet another infuriating symptom. Hiei found her reading and glanced over her shoulder again, surprised that such an odd symptom could be caused by having a child. It was uncomfortable for the woman, and the fire demon’s brow furrowed. This was another irritation that would probably keep her up at night, as if she needed any more of that.

The redness, this cholestasis, could spread from her hands to the soles of her feet. There was, unfortunately, no solution to the problem except the delivery itself. Until then, Botan’s guidebook suggested to avoid anything that could make her skin redder, including becoming overheated, taking long, hot baths or showers, or wearing too warm or too tight gloves or socks. Some women also found relief by soaking their hands and feet in cold water or applying ice packs for a few minutes a couple times a day. Another suggestion was to avoid the dishwashing. At least that was something Hiei could take over for the time being, anything to make the ferry girl more comfortable.

Another thought came to the fire demon’s mind, one that made him grimace. It was possible that he helped cause the problem. After all, he had been staying with Botan every night, and his body heat probably exacerbated the condition. A small inkling of guilt wormed its way into his core as his eyes roved over the woman.

“Maybe you should start sleeping in your own bed,” Hiei suggested. He was surprised when he saw a flicker of hurt pass her eyes. She must have thought he was sending her away. To reassure her, he pointed to a spot on the page. “It says you need to avoid hot things. My body temperature is much higher than normal.”

“So?” Botan questioned. “Do you not want me there anymore?”

“That’s not it,” Hiei sighed. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Botan pouted and looked sad. “I don’t care about that, or the redness and itchiness. If it means not getting to sleep beside you… I can’t sleep without you. I feel better with you.”

Hiei relented with a heavy sigh. He didn’t know what to make of her confession. “Do whatever you want. It’s your body.”

The ferry girl was about to say something when Hiei abruptly stood up and took his leave. She would have tried to make sense of his actions if it wasn’t for the time. A smile spread across her features. Kurama was coming to pick Botan up to go grocery shopping. It had been a while, and she and Hiei needed groceries. She couldn’t wait to catch up with her friend. Maybe, if she was really sneaky, she could find out more about what was going on between him and Hanako. They really didn’t get to talk about it when she and Hiei visited for dinner.

When Botan came home, she was met by a freezing cold apartment. All the windows were open and the heat was turned off. Kurama was a bit perplexed, but he said nothing. Instead, he helped Botan unpack all her groceries. Once the food was put away, Kurama took his leave. He sensed Hiei’s presence there, yet he had not come out to meet them. The fox took that as a sign that his friend did not want company.

Oddly enough, Kurama was right. Hiei was waiting for the fox to leave so that he could finally approach Botan. By this point, there was no way she hadn’t noticed the state of their apartment. Now that Kurama was gone, Hiei beckoned the woman to join him and called her to his room through the Jagan. When she entered, she seemed perplexed and waited for an explanation.

“We’ll be sleeping with the windows open from now on,” Hiei informed her. She still didn’t seem to understand. “That will compensate for my body heat.”

Botan’s purple eyes widened; her heartbeat quickened. Hiei thought up a solution, with her comfort in mind? He was really that worried for her over a silly side effect? “But you don’t like the cold.”

Hiei didn’t respond, and that was all the more indication Botan needed. As his eyes met hers, she could see that he didn’t exactly care about that issue. He was going out of his way to make a sacrifice for her comfort, and the action was not lost on her. She started to tear up, and the fire demon visibly panicked when he saw her crying. Botan laughed lightly and tried to wipe the droplets away. “Don’t mind me,” she assured him, her voice soft and airy. “It’s just a really nice gesture, and I’m emotional.”

The fire demon relaxed, but he still didn’t like her tears. To comfort her, he approached her, pulled her head down gently by her jaw, and met her lips with his in a kiss. He wiped away the remainder of her tears.

A sigh escaped Hiei after he and Botan crawled into bed sometime after dinner. The woman curled up against him, his arm wound around her, as she buried herself in the blankets and made sure to keep her hands and feet out. They had a nice evening together, so much so that Hiei was contemplating taking advantage of the advice of the human from the hospital. As pleasant as everything had been, Hiei was still very stressed out about the future. When he broached the subject, he expected to be met by Botan’s overemotional tears. Instead, he was met with a look of curiosity. The ferry girl listened to him intently as he went on, surprised that he went into such detail.

“You already know my past,” he remarked to her again. “All of it, including what I am in accordance with the ice maidens.”

“I don’t believe in empty curses, Hiei,” Botan stated. “What they said about you and did to you was cruel, and I understand why Yukina left. You’re not that word. You’re my friend.”

Hiei released a startled breath that sounded more like a disparaging chuckle. “That’s not the point, Botan,” he warned, and the woman silenced herself. “The point is, I did a lot of things that would churn your stomach, just to prove they were right. I murdered for fun, provoked others into attacking me, just so I could see the life drain from them. That was my childhood, and I know nothing else.”

Botan’s lip curved into a frown. She wasn’t upset with Hiei’s confession. It just broke her heart that such a wonderful and strong man was forced to live a lonely childhood, one full of survival and pain. She was so thankful that their baby boy wouldn’t have to suffer like that. They would have their own challenges, but she would not let the baby be on his own.

“Not to mention my criminal record,” he added, trying to remind her of how they met. “I do not think I will be someone who is capable of even being around a child let alone a decent father. As much as I said I wanted that picture we saw, I cannot figure out if it will be good for him.”

“I think it will be,” Botan assured him as she took his hand. He stared at their entwined appendages as if they carried the answer of life. “I think our son will be proud to have someone as brave as you, and he’ll grow up to be just as strong. I’m happy that if I were going through this with anyone, it’s you.”

“I finally told Mukuro,” Hiei admitted, sidestepping the unknown bubbling feelings fluttering around his chest. He didn’t know what to do with those. “I don’t know what the future holds. She expects me back sometime after the baby is born. I will be returning as her general, and that life is not suitable for you or a child. I can’t always be around, even if I do ever get over whatever fatherhood issues I have. I have responsibilities that I will not toss away.”

She squeezed his hand again and beamed brightly. Her warmth washed over the fire demon more than perceived his ever could for her. “I’m not asking you to give up who you are or even to be here every day,” she assured him. Eyes tinted with sadness, she added, “I can’t even be. I’m a ferry girl, and I…I can’t not go back to my duties. I sort of knew that going in, and where I mentioned it before, it’s been at the forefront of my mind lately. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future, either.”

Despite their conversations in the past, Hiei was still taken aback. Then he became a bit curious as to what the woman’s plan would have been. “Then how did you expect to have and raise a child on your own?” His voice held no judgment. He just wanted to understand how the woman who was just as uncertain as him could have settled on a decision so early on when he was still struggling to make his own.

“I would have never been on my own,” Botan replied. “I would have had our friends, and I trusted that, one day, I’d have you. Between all of us, we’ll make it work. Besides, Koenma is very understanding to the situation. Sure, he doesn't know yet that you’re the father, but I’m sure he’ll be even more helpful and lenient when he does know.”

Hiei was even more surprised to hear that she hadn’t told the Spirit World ruler yet when everyone else in their group knew. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because you asked me not to.”

“Hn.” He smirked, even more enamored by the woman when she made that simple, sincere statement. “You give me far too much leeway.”

“It’s because I care,” she told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Now that everything was out in the open, Hiei grew tired of talking. He pulled Botan close to him, just to cuddle her and let her calm aura flood his system. Deep down, he knew he cared about her too, as confusing as his thoughts and desires regarding the woman were. At least, for now, everything was fine. It’s not like the future was coming the next day. There was still time to figure everything out. He just had to have as much faith as she did, even if that would be easier said than done.

Chapter Text

It was another peaceful and quiet morning as Botan read her trusty guide with Hiei sitting at her side. Lately, he had been just as eager as she was to find out what new growth was occurring in their son, although the fire demon tapered his emotions immensely appearing to be as unmoved as ever. He thought he was hiding his enthusiasm, but the ferry girl could see it in his eyes as she read out loud how much more of a little person their baby was becoming. His lungs and nose were starting to work; his reflexes were developing; he was starting to get baby fat; and he was getting hair and a hair color.

Botan paused in her reading for a moment, her eyes wide as a thought came to her mind. She looked at the confused fire demon, his cold eyes subtly asking why she stopped. “Do you think his hair will be blueish like the dream or black like yours?” Hiei tensed over her words, and Botan looked over to him expecting an answer.

Hiei swallowed nervously when he saw the hopeful gleam in her eyes, and he managed a shrug before he choked out, “Blue.” His answer seemed to please Botan, her grin wide.

“Do you think we should name him yet?” she gently pressed, curious and a bit adventurous considering they were discussing him. “What should we name him?”

The fire demon couldn’t bring himself to answer that wondering. Honestly, he was only beginning to come around to the idea of his son and wanting to be around that image. Giving the boy a name would make it too real too quickly. “We shouldn’t worry about such things yet,” he indicated.

He expected Botan to challenge him, but she nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I can’t think of any names right now either.” She smiled at him, her eyes filled with warmth. “We may just have to wait and see him when he’s born and decide then.”

Baffled by her calmness and kindness, Hiei simply crossed his arms and muttered, “Hn.” He continued to listen to Botan read about their child’s growing size, this little thing inside of her not bigger than a rutabaga…whatever that was. Startle reflexes were starting to develop in the child, and the guide made jokes of not scaring the baby. It seemed difficult to do considering the serenity that poured off the child each time he reached out. Hiei had no idea how this kid he sired would be some completely opposite of him. He glanced over at Botan.

Well, maybe he’d inherit all of her genes. That would be better.

As the week passed on, Botan’s mood dropped considerably once again. Nothing really instigated it, and Hiei did his best to keep her active and rested when she needed to be. Still, he and Botan always grew concerned when her mood soured. They wanted to keep her mood up as much as possible. Hanako warned Botan during her last visit, and Botan confided her words in Hiei, that mothers-to-be who dampened their positive emotions were more at risk for postpartum depression. If her mood kept fluctuating like this over her looks or fears of the future or just in general, Hanako recommended Botan see a therapist. Botan really didn’t want to go. Hanako was one thing, being a psychic and highly aware of their situation. The ferry girl really didn’t want to begin the search for a therapist who wouldn’t lock her up thinking her to be crazy when she started talking about Spirit World protocol and her job and demons. Unfortunately, Hanako wasn’t aware of any spiritually aware therapists either.

Whenever Hiei couldn’t easily pull Botan out of a mood, he began enlisting help. At first, it was the fox. Dinner with his family eased Botan immensely. This time, he had something else in mind. Botan was surprised when Hiei brought her to the train station. She could tell exactly where they were going. There was only one place they would go where train travel was necessary.

I wonder why he’s taking me to Genkai’s, Botan marveled as she watched the scenery change from the bustling of the city to the beautiful wilderness that would lead them to Genkai’s forest. They remained silent for the entire train ride, but it was a comfortable silence. Despite her downed mood, Botan felt herself relax as she dozed off.

When they reached the stop near the temple, Hiei placed a hand on Botan’s shoulder to rouse her. The ferry girl blinked out the final remnants of sleep, and the two disembarked. Hiei cast a wary glance in the woman’s direction, knowing full well how tired she was. Part of him wondered if this was a good idea with all the walking and stairs. Still, Botan needed to be around others, and there were only few people he could tolerate being around for an extended period of time.

“Botan!” Speaking of which, Hiei’s gaze flashed over to his sister who was tending to Genkai’s garden. Her crimson eyes sparkled with excitement as she approached the ferry girl and embraced her. The ferry girl offered a sad smile, but Hiei could sense that her mood was already improving. It was sobering to notice how close the ferry girl and his sister had become. Yukina saw Botan as a friend and confidant, and Botan seemed to feel the same. It was no wonder Yukina decided to tell Botan of their origins regardless of the child he and the ferry girl conceived. As furious as he had been to learn that Botan knew Yukina knew of their siblingship, he admired how loyal she was to his sister.

Yukina was very insistent on making lunch for everyone. She made a ton of food, and Hiei noticed a silent exchange between the ferry girl and ice maiden. Botan appeared slightly timid as she nibbled on the food. His sister merely smiled at the woman and started to eat her own meal. The fire demon was baffled by the exchange, his eyebrow quirked a bit. His eyes wandered over to the old woman who simply scoffed as she finished her own meal and excused herself, most likely wanting to be as far away from the impending drama she sensed.

Sometime after lunch, Botan drifted off to sleep, finally getting a well-deserved snooze. Hiei refused to wake her since she was finally resting. That was becoming a rare occurrence, and he did not want to take that away from her. That left him alone with his sister in the kitchen; the ice maiden softly hummed as she washed the mealtime dishes. Hiei watched her closely and noticed that her features were not as tense as his were. She was completely comfortable around him whereas he was wary around her. There was no reason for him to be so anxious around the woman, he knew. Yukina was kind and harmless, and she clearly did not share the same sentiments as the cold-hearted snakes they hailed from. Hiei breathed in and out quietly. Some sort of confrontation was about to take place, and it was long overdue.

“You must be really excited about the baby,” Yukina chimed happily, finishing the last dish. She dried the small platter and turned to face him, that serene smile ever present on her face. “Botan seems to be doing better.”

Hiei scoffed at that and crossed his arms. “Don’t let the woman fool you,” he declared. “She hides it well, but this is the first uninterrupted and restful sleep she’s had all week. Every side effect any human can get seems to be afflicting her all at once.”

Yukina frowned at that and nodded. “I’ve heard that every pregnancy is different. Sometimes they are more challenging than others, but it’s a relief to know she hasn’t had any episodes like that one time.”

Hiei remembered. It was shortly after he spoke those hateful words to the woman, and she had been so upset that she excited the child. Their son had been active, and his energy seemed to overwhelm the unprepared ferry girl. “No,” Hiei confirmed. “That has not happened again.” Not since he snapped at the brat to cut the crap.

A silence settled between them, but Yukina beamed at the fire demon. Hiei, though, stared the maiden down with calculating eyes. Yukina was unbothered by his hardened gaze. “Is something the matter?” she questioned softly, her voice filled with understanding, more than he deserved.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

No elaboration was needed for Yukina to understand exactly what Hiei was asking. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” Yukina replied, her voice full of mirth.

Crimson eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re not one to play coy, Yukina,” he scolded. “I overheard you and the ferry girl talking.”

Yukina offered him an apologetic smile and empathetic gaze. “I didn’t want to force you to tell me before you were ready,” the woman explained. “We both went through challenges the other can’t even imagine, and I know you had it worse out of the two of us. I wanted you to feel comfortable around me, to tell me at your own pace. You’re my brother, and I care about you.”

Hiei released a disparaging chuckle. He had already known it, of course, but to hear his sister speak so candidly was surreal. She spent years calling him ‘Mr. Hiei’, treated him like someone she respected while always remaining formal. It wasn’t until they started spending more time together during the gatherings which he was forced to attend that she called him by his name without any title.

“Hn,” Hiei remarked, and a slightly uncomfortable silence fell between them, more on Hiei’s part rather than Yukina’s.

The ice maiden simply continued to engage him now that the secrets were out in the opened. “In any case, I’m excited about the baby. I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

Hiei’s expression softened, but only for a moment before he tensed. “Even if the child is male?”

“Especially if he is,” Yukina replied sincerely. Her eyes grew sad and full of concern. “Hiei, I don’t believe what our people do. All children, male or female, are beautiful blessings. I already love my nephew, and he isn’t even born yet.”

Hiei’s rigid features relaxed before he crossed his arms and scoffed. “You women are all sentimental.”

A smile settled on Yukina’s face as she stated, “Maybe so, but that isn’t such a bad thing.”

Another silence washed over them, but this one was peaceful as Hiei leaned back in his chair and Yukina busied herself around the kitchen. The fire demon didn’t know if he agreed with his sister’s words, but he knew better than to refute them at this point. He kept quiet, if only to avoid discussing their past any more than he already did. For the first time, he allowed himself to simply be in the presence of his sister. After a little while, the last bit of tautness disappeared from his features, just in time for Botan to awaken.

Botan couldn’t take it anymore. For days, she was experiencing such terrible pains, obviously side effects from the pregnancy. Still, she tried to ignore it, but one day it was just so intense. Not wanting to worry Hiei, the ferry girl tried to hide her agony all day and forced herself to move around and actually do something. Hiei had been taking such good care of her, and it wasn’t fair that, between her physical ailments and emotional distress, she was useless. She even sent Hiei out for training that morning, the fire demon believing her sincere smile when she sent him away lying to him, assuring him she’d be okay.

That had been a mistake.

It was not in her nature to lie, and, surprisingly, she managed to do it so effectively for the first time. As the hours passed, though, she found she couldn’t handle the pain. She could barely move, and she was scared. Her mind berated her for always getting herself into these situations. What was wrong with her?

By the time Hiei came home, Botan was practically curled up in a ball on the couch. The fire demon sensed her distress and raced to her side. He knelt down beside her, asked her frantic form, “What happened?” Botan barely registered his words and cried from the sheer torture her body bestowed.

The woman had tears in her eyes and looked as fearful as she had much too recently for his taste. He hadn’t felt her terror until he arrived downstairs in the apartment building, and he raced to get to her. Finding her withdrawn in herself was not what he expected to find, and Hiei was unsure of what to do.

Gently, he placed his hand on her shoulder and once again asked, “What’s wrong?”

Botan heard him this time, her eyes clenched shut. “Everything!”

It wasn’t much of an answer, and Hiei didn’t know how to help. He decided to use the Jagan to infiltrate Botan’s mind, hoping to find a clearer answer. At first, he established a normal connection, but after a few seconds, blinding pain was all Hiei felt. It was as if his mind was reflecting what the poor woman was feeling, and Hiei had to note that feeling it all at once was near as bad as the operation he endured for the Jagan. This woman was feeling all of this pain on a regular basis? The thought left Hiei unsettled.

The way she was hunched over and gripped her leg while she tried to reach her lower back with her other hand told Hiei which areas were bothering her. The ache in her legs was due to either that restless leg syndrome she was warned she’d experience or from regular cramping. As always, her back was worse for wear. There wasn’t much more she could take.

Hiei managed to move her as lightly as possible and made room for himself to sit behind her. In soothing motions, Hiei started to gently knead the muscles in her lower back. Botan yelped out by the sudden action, but more from surprise than from pain. She did not stop him, and his ministrations allowed her body to relax slightly. A soft moan escaped her, causing Hiei to force down the depraved thoughts that entered his mind at the moment. The woman was hurting, and this was for her, so that he could get her through this wave.

Eventually, Botan’s aching muscles loosened in response to Hiei’s ministrations, and she was able to move her body and unwind. She felt much better than she did before, and she was truly touched that the fire demon continued to go out of his way to return the favor. She saw that he was still looking at her, his brow furrowed in concern. Flashing him a sleepy smile, Botan stopped him and took one of his hands in hers. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice now airy instead of how agonized it had been.

“Hn,” Hiei responded. “How long was that going on?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she dispelled. The ferry girl pulled Hiei closer to her. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

She could see the gears in his head turning before he answered with a negative shake. “You should get some rest. You shouldn’t overtax yourself after you just—”

Hiei was silenced by Botan’s fingers in his hair, an overwhelmingly pleasant sensation filling him as she scratched his scalp. His eyes fluttered shut and all his thoughts shot out the window. Still, he tried to remain in control, demanding to know why she was touching him in her gentle way. “W-what are you doing?”

Botan paused for a mere moment to answer. “Returning the favor,” she said simply before continuing.

Hiei felt a pit form in his stomach and shook his head. “I-it isn’t necessary.” God, he couldn’t figure out why he was a stammering mess just from a simple touch.

“Sure it is,” Botan chimed as she playfully ruffled his feathery hair. After her playful motion, she slowed her attentions, always loving the feeling of Hiei’s soft hair between her fingers. Once more, she gently massaged his scalp, and she noticed that all three of his eyes closed. A small wave of victory crossed over her consciousness at being able to help her friend relax. They were in this together, and it was only fair that they could act as a source of comfort to one another.

Hiei was completely unsure of how to process this new set of feelings that arose within him. It was like the peace he felt when they were intimate, but different and so full of comfort. He wondered what kind of spell she was casting on him, if her hands were encased in some form of pleasure drug, but he knew it was nothing of the sort.

He hardly realized that he drifted off until her attentions stopped. Her hand remained in his hair, and Hiei cast her a sleepy, sideward glance. Somehow, he found, Botan’s own actions relaxed her enough to put her to sleep as well. His brow furrowed. How could she have been calmed by making him feel good? It made no sense to him.

Either way, he decided not to worry about it. After all, she was sleeping, something that was becoming rarer by every passing day. It didn’t matter what caused her to fall asleep. If Hiei cuddled against her and enjoyed the feeling of her hand lingering in his hair, he’d never tell.

Surprisingly, as he leaned his head against her stomach, he was able to hear the most awe-inducing sound. He recalled his guide mentioning the possibility, but he hadn’t dared to try to get close enough to Botan’s belly to place his ear. In the quiet of the room, the sounds of Botan’s snores and the strong and powerful thump-thumps of his son’s heart lulled him to sleep. It was the most at peace Hiei felt since the start of this whole ordeal.

Botan could hardly believe that she was twenty-five weeks along. As long and arduous as the journey seemed, there was only three months left before she was due to give birth. Hanako predicted that her due date would be sometime in January. There was still so much that had to be done around the apartment, too.

With everything she was feeling, she couldn’t even focus on the fact that the crib and so many other objects for her son littered the living room. Right now, she just felt awful. She felt completely bloated and she had been suffering from the uncomfortable symptom of hemorrhoids. She just felt so sore all the way around her. Placing her hand on her soccer ball shaped tummy, Botan mentally cooed, I’ll try to get more active soon. Just a few more minutes.

Hiei walked in through the door, a plastic bag in tow as his eyes found the ferry girl instantly. She looked as miserable as she did when he left, the woman afflicted with terrible heartburn and indigestion. The fire demon tried to get her to eat, but she didn’t want much besides a bottle of antacids. Most of the food they had were a bit too acidic anyway, so Hiei went out to the store reluctantly to by some blander items.

Botan assured Hiei that she would be fine, but then she grew dizzy and nauseous. She could hardly argue after that, and Hiei wasn’t going to let her continue to suffer. So, beside himself, he figured out where the hell the grocery store was and forced himself not to mutilate every human that bumped into him as they shopped.

A sigh escaped him as he took the food items out of the bag. He picked up a bottle of ginger ale and a few plain rice balls, both recommended by the fox whom he telepathically accosted once again. Ignoring the amusement of fox, he mentally took his suggestions and got something a little extra for the woman.

After she rubbed some calamine lotion on her stretching stomach, Botan shook out her wrists again and did the stretches the human doctor prescribed. Then, she ran a hand through her luscious hair. It had grown so much, her body shedding it less. Apparently, pregnancy suppressed the loss of it, and Hiei had to shake his head free of thoughts of the times he enjoyed running his hand through her thick, soft locks. He didn’t even care if it would change later. No matter what the woman felt like or looked like, she was still the most attractive woman he ever pursued. He didn’t think he’d find another like her.

His mind instantly crushed the thought in a miasma of negativity. Since when had he started thinking of her like that, like he could never find another? Most likely, after this whole endeavor, he and the woman would co-parent and live in different worlds. He’d barely interact with her save dealing with the boy. That would be the extent of their relationship. He couldn’t afford to think of her the way he was.

Not that he planned to go for anyone else, either.

Once again, Hiei forced the thoughts from his mind, knowing that now was not the time for his uncertainties. He needed to make sure the woman would eat. Clearing his throat, he earned Botan’s attention. The woman barely managed to sit up as she regarded him. “I brought breakfast,” he told her. Botan nodded and forced herself off the couch with a groan. Hiei grimaced.

As she walked to the table looking like she was about to drop at any second, Hiei voiced his concern. “No better…?” Botan answered with a shake of her head. The frown never left Hiei’s face as he poured her a glass of the ginger ale. “Here.”

Botan took the glass Hiei passed her and took a small sip. “You know that soda isn’t really a breakfast thing, right?”

“The fox’s recommendation,” he explained before sliding over the case of rice balls. “This should be bland enough to settle your stomach.”

As thankful as she was that Hiei was so considerate, her stomach churned at the sight. “Thanks, but I don’t think that’s a good idea and…wait…what’s that?”

Hiei looked to the plastic wrapped bar that Botan was referring to. He slid the bar over to her, and Botan looked at him, completely shocked. Apparently, Hiei got her chocolate. She had been avoiding it for a while, hoping to avoid the caffeine while also remaining healthy. Truthfully, she was craving a bar of her favorite for a while, and now Hiei happened to have it. He got it just for her. Her eyes filled with a few tears, and once again the fire demon appeared baffled. “What?”

Botan was on her feet and clutched onto the demon with all of her might. She took him by surprise, clearly, but she surpassed that level of shock when she uttered three words that made Hiei’s mind spin.

“I love you!”

She didn’t even realize that she said it, not until Hiei tensed in her grip. It took her a moment to register her words. Hiei knew that she was just excited over the chocolate bar, but she already admitted in the past to having feelings for him. The fact that she voiced it again but more directly paralyzed Hiei to his core.

“I…I,” Botan murmured before she said, “I’m sorry.” Hiei cast her a disparaging glance, his expression withered and unsure. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Hiei practically snorted. Comfort… He mentally spat the word as if it were acid. How uncomfortable had the ferry girl been that entire morning? Any discomfort he had over her words was meaningless compared to her suffering. “It’s fine,” he remarked, despite his raging thoughts.

Botan seemed surprised by his declaration. “Really?” Hiei closed his eyes and took in another deep breath before he nodded. The ferry girl’s face was lit up with joy when Hiei’s gaze returned to her. It sobered when she noticed his impassive mask. “Are…you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he lied. “I just need to think about some things.”

Instead of being completely sullen or bothered by his deflection, Botan offered him a sad, yet understanding smile. “Alright. I’ll try to eat, okay?”

Hiei nodded and then retreated to his room, his thoughts racing a mile a minute. He couldn’t believe that Botan had spoken her feelings so candidly. Back when they had had their fight, something that seemed so much like it was in the distant past, Botan implied similar sentiments, but in very watered-down words.

The woman considered him a friend. She liked him, and she did not want to go on pretending that her feelings weren’t there. Hiei was overwhelmed even then by her confession, but she still had not voice the true extent of her emotions since. Although he was destined to lead a loveless life, somehow the sentiment found him, as if revolting against the women who cursed and reviled him.

If Hiei wasn’t feeling internally frantic over the situation, he might have even felt rebellious delight and amusement.

But this wasn’t just some disobedient act to anger his people. These feelings of the ferry girl’s were genuine and true, and the fire demon still believed them to be wasted on him. Nothing could really happen between them. As much as he was deliberating at another time how the woman was it for him, their relationship was damned, doomed from the start. She was pure, and he was corrupt. He was the murky darkness, and she was a beaming light. Opposites that attracted but destined to fail. She could play as little a part in his life in Demon World as he could in her life in Spirit World.

And yet, Hiei still couldn’t convince himself to leave. For months, he had been forcing himself to stay, desired to run but was held down by his honor code. Now, that he actually should leave, his mind and body betrayed him. There was nothing he could do about Botan’s ill-placed feelings, but he could stop them from growing if he could just bring himself to escape this unrealistic, mundane life they had fallen into.

He couldn’t.

There was just no way he could break her heart another time.

As senseless as it was, Hiei could not bring himself to cause the woman anymore harm. He hurt her so many times already by his callous words and actions. Besides, there really wasn’t anything wrong with this arrangement. Her words regarding the future, a simple, “We’ll figure it out together,” struck him in that moment. And then, the knowing words of one of his comrades flared up in his mind.

“…accept that you don’t have such a bad thing going on.”

It wasn’t the first time Kuwabara’s words had come back to haunt him, and he knew it definitely wouldn’t be the last. For the longest time, Hiei viewed the situation as a horrible mess he caused himself due to juvenile behavior. He gave in to Botan’s taunting, landed them both drunk and in bed together. This whole ordeal was his fault, and yet Botan never once blamed him for her pain or fear. She…loved him.

Though his instincts told him to run from it, Hiei was no coward. It wasn’t the worst thing to have fallen into this rapport with the woman. Hiei would never voice it out loud, but it seemed that their group’s resident oaf had actually been right all along.

And, not for the first time, he thought, I really am becoming too soft…

The week sped by, and Botan still couldn’t get over the changes in her body. Her baby was growing so much, moving around often, and it was just so surreal to feel him. Of course, the side effects were still incredibly troublesome. Her snoring had gotten louder, if that were at all possible, that she was actually starting to keep herself up at night, waking to the loud noise. She felt truly awful for Hiei who had put up with it for so long to begin with. Her tingly wrists persisted, and she would have flare ups of that restless leg syndrome. Along with that, she was craving more red meat as well. Her guide warned that it was believed that RLS was linked to iron-deficiency. Maybe she needed to ask Hanako to test her for anemia on her next visit.

Weirdly enough, she also felt pain in her pelvic region, and that scared her for a while. It wasn’t until she read about symphysis pubis dysfunction that she knew what was happening to her. With that, she learned that the ligaments that normally kept her pelvic joints aligned had become relaxed and stretchy. Her book suggested some exercises that could help alleviate the pain and strengthen those muscles. The pain wasn’t too severe yet, so she didn’t need to consider physical therapy. It was just some more work she added to her yoga routine.

Botan finished brushing her teeth and spit out the toothpaste before she rinsed and headed off to bed. Keeping up good dental hygiene was also important. Apparently, good dental health correlated with longer pregnancies, and gingivitis could lead to a more serious infection that was linked to premature delivery. It may have sounded farfetched, but Botan didn’t want to take any chances.

As she got into her bed, she realized that the windows were all open which caused her to smile. It seemed that Hiei decided he would finally be joining her again. Since the other day when the words ‘I love you’ slipped out, Hiei had gone back and forth between being fine and being antsy, and he decided to stay in his own room those nights. Botan understood, and for that reason she lied to him and said she would sleep fine without him for a couple of days.

She hadn’t, not really.

Botan was becoming more and more upset with how little she was sleeping nowadays. It was driving her crazy. Of course, she didn’t expect pregnancy to be easy, but it was so much harder than she realized. Sleep wasn’t going to get any easier once the baby was born, either. The ferry girl was starting to think she would never sleep again.

Her eyes caught on her guide next to the bed, and her mind mentally pleaded that maybe it would have some type of solution. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

There actually was a whole section filled with tips that would help her sleep better, and she became so engrossed with the contents that she didn’t notice the fire demon enter the room. He crossed the room to his side of the bed, strangely enough, noting the title of the chapter with a furrowed brow. When he asked the woman how she was sleeping, she obviously lied to him if she was reading this now. He opted to sit next to her and startled Botan as he read over her shoulder.

Botan blushed at Hiei’s close proximity as she took in his expression. She was surprised he was reading her guidebook with her, considering she wasn’t reading about the baby. In that thought, Botan gathered that maybe Hiei was starting to care a little more about her. She mentally slapped herself. Of course he did, or he wouldn’t have been spending all of those nights with her. He wouldn’t be there now, preparing to freeze himself out just for her, making sure she was comfortable.

“It can be hard to get a good night’s sleep,” the book read, “when you’re pregnant as it is when you’re a new parent. With all that’s going on in your body—and brain—it’s no wonder that a full night’s rest can be so elusive. There is something you can do about it. Here are a few of the most common sleep-busting conditions, along with advice in overcoming them.”

The first made Botan do a double take. It was hard for her to comprehend that the frequent need to pee was a culprit. This did make sense, though, as she found herself getting up at night to use the bathroom. She thought that was normal, but apparently it hindered her sleep.

Scientific reasoning and advice were given by the book, and mainly it told her to drink less liquids at night. That was the part that baffled her. Didn’t the guide tell her earlier to drink plenty of water? She looked to Hiei who seemed puzzled by her icy glare. “They want me to drink water, but now they said not to…”

Hiei’s expression softened. He shook his head and pointed to another paragraph. “No, they just don’t want you drinking at night. You’ll just have to drink more during the day.” Botan pouted at his logical reply but said nothing. They continued to read.

“General discomfort can also pose a problem for sleep,” the book continued. “Many pregnancy sleep struggles come from just not being able to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Chronic stomach sleepers eventually can’t sleep in this position anymore. Meanwhile, back sleepers also have to search for a new path. You can sleep on your side, your left if possible, which is a safer position for the baby. If you’re not used to the position, it can make falling asleep harder, in which case pillows are great. You can place them between your knees, under your abdomen, and behind your back.”

Hiei snorted, and Botan couldn’t help but agree that the suggestion was ridiculous. She was already sleeping on her left side, and having pillows everywhere wasn’t going to take away her aches and pains. Those weren’t going away, and she couldn’t really get comfortable anymore. She felt terrible for voicing this because the week before she was completely comfortable lying in Hiei’s arms. The fire demon shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he assured her. “We’ll figure something out.”

Another culprit to her ability to sleep was the indigestion she’d been afflicted with so much more often now. The book told them it was worse at night when she was lying down, and it would only get worse the more the baby grew and pushed up on her stomach. She made a mental note to avoid spicy, greasy, and acidic foods and planned to eat smaller meals. “It says I should have dinner two hours before bedtime and prop myself up on some pillows.”

“That’s feasible,” Hiei stated. He looked over to the woman and said, “We can move the nightstand beside your bed to keep some antacids there. The witch said you can take them when you needed.”

Botan giggled at that. “I keep telling you, she’s not a witch.”

A grunt was her answer, and Botan chuckled before she read on. This was it, the mention of the dreaded leg cramps. Well, at least she was being offered more suggestion on how to combat those. She needed to increase her intake of calcium and magnesium, which really shouldn’t be too hard considering the antacids. She really enjoyed the flavors of yogurt and soy which were also high in calcium, though she normally didn’t eat beans. Those were apparently a great source of magnesium. She had no idea how she was going to integrate those into her diet. Maybe Hanako would recommend a great supplement to her instead.

Of course, another way to combat it was to drink more water and the stretch her legs like she was already doing in her yoga routines. That technique Hiei implemented to alleviate the cramps, flexing her foot and ankle towards her without pointing her toes, was listed there. A new thought surfaced when the book said if the pain was severe and persisted, she should check with the doctor because she could have a clot.

“You don’t,” Hiei spoke up immediately when he read that, knowing the thought alone would stress the woman out. She looked to him to explain, and he said, “Cramping like that is highly uncomfortable to begin with. It’s not persistent. It happens to you sporadically, and these techniques work. The doctor would have expressed concern when you told her about the leg cramps last appointment.”

Botan released a sigh of relief before she smiled. “Well, look at you, trying to keep me calm and all.”

“If I were to let you spiral, you’d never get to sleep,” Hiei indicated. He looked to the book and saw that the next passage was all about ‘nasal congestion’ as it read. It was so strange how the female body worked. Higher hormone levels increased blood volume, and it affected all areas of the body, the nose included. The membranes were swollen and produced more mucus, causing a stuffy nose. Postnasal drip was a possible side effect here that could keep the woman up coughing at night. It hadn’t happened yet, but Hiei made a mental note to watch out for if it did. Maybe it was partly to blame for the woman’s snoring, too.

She could alleviate it with saline sprays and nose strips. Hiei had no idea what they were, but he was certain that if neither he nor the woman knew, the others would figure it out. It would help clear up her sinuses and alleviate her snoring, that and popping her head up on a pillow. Some of the tips apparently affected multiple symptoms. “Should we also get a humidifier?”

Hiei shrugged and nodded. It was listed there. They might as well do it, since her guidebook seemed to be making a lot of sense.

Restless leg syndrome was another symptom the book implied could keep Botan awake. They were already working on getting that under control, and once again, one of the other symptom’s tips played a role in this condition. Maybe the issue was that the woman was low on her magnesium. Her vitamin D wasn’t a problem with all of the milk she drank and yogurt she ate.

At least she already had the daily yoga going for her. But they could also apply some hot or cold packs to her legs before bed. Apparently, caffeine and the inability to relax could affect her as well, contributing to her general insomnia.

Botan could admit she was an insomniac. Even before the pregnancy, she would find herself working some late nights, ferrying. Other nights, she’d be restless, feeling confined in her room, so she would roam the halls. There were times she’d even find herself reading books from the Spirit World archives to indulge her curiosities. Still, once she returned to her bed, she could easily drop. Now, it wasn’t so easy.

Hiei required little sleep, but he understood its important for the woman. Even if he stayed awake at night, it was his priority to make sure she was at least resting. As for before sleep, Botan needed to practice good ‘sleep hygiene’ to signal to her body that it was time for bed.

She needed to avoid all forms of caffeine, including chocolate, after noon, and to stay away from sugar at night if she needed a snack. Her evening snacks needed to be more protein based or complex carbs. During the day, she needed to drink her eight glasses of water, and again it reminded her to stop drinking in the evening unless she was thirsty. She would just need to take a few sips instead of a giant glass or a cup of tea before bedtime.

She already had the daily workout routine, but some days she was too exhausted to do it. It wasn’t an intense workout, so she didn’t need to worry about a rush of adrenaline, though if she did work out a bit more actively, she would keep that to the day ours.

Some other tips were self-explanatory. Don’t watch the clock for it would stress her out more. Doing relaxing activities like listening to music, meditating, or reading would help her. Relaxation exercises, visualization, her yoga, and even that chanting and deep breathing she had done a while back were also supposed to be effective. Maybe she should try counting sheep?

Hiei’s eyes roved over the contents of the page, and he realized they were already on the right track. Her guide suggested that they crack a window if she felt hot and stuffy as long as it wasn’t cold outside. Although the weather was definitely getting colder, his body temperature compensated for whatever heat she lost. In addition, there was something he could do. As disturbing as it was that even Botan’s book was encouraging them to have sex, or in her guide’s words, ‘make love’, it made sense. As long as the woman was in the mood for it, it would help her to relax at night. He could also give her massages more often, maybe alleviate those aches while comforting her in the process. Thinking back to the head pets she awarded him, he had to shake himself free of those thoughts.

As for the rest of it, Botan didn’t have a clock in her room to watch, so it wouldn’t stress her out too much. Keeping the woman stress-free was the key priority. There was no sense in worrying about her lack of sleep. It would only make it worse. At least they had a good start to what they could do.

The fire demon tilted his head to look at Botan only for his stern eyes to fill with his confusion at the look of terror on her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked her.

Botan looked so fearful when she read a line suggesting she take a warm bath at night to soothe and relax her. She couldn’t help but remember her last experience with the tub and how trapped she felt. “I-I…” She looked over to her side and met Hiei’s gaze. “I don’t want to get stuck again.”

Hiei’s expression softened only a fraction before he hid his emotions from the woman. “Even if you do, I’ll be there to get you out,” he promised. “We’ll develop this routine together.”

The ferry girl answered with a nod before she smiled at him. Then, an idea hit her, as well as an overwhelming wave of desire. “Does it…do you think it could be a shower instead?” she questioned.

Hiei was about to ask why, but he received his answer almost immediately when Botan crashed her lips to his. He responded to her movements hungrily and enveloped her in his protective hold. The two got up together, not daring to break apart, and Botan’s book fell to the floor, abandoned. The two of them finally separated to silently gaze into each other’s eyes, communicating without words, only to rush to the shower.

By the time bedtime rolled around, the two were thoroughly relaxed.

Chapter Text

As the week passed on, Hiei received more of Botan’s loving sentiments, each time reacting a little less. She hadn’t voiced it often, conveniently choosing her time and place, and most of the time it was at night after some intimate activity, carnal or comforting, and she would place his hand on her abdomen and whisper, “We love you.” The feelings of apprehension were difficult for Hiei to ignore, but he was able to swallow it down now after so many days of receiving her affectionate words and gestures.

It was an unusually hot, fall day, so Botan and Hiei decided to take advantage of the weather. They headed for the park for some fresh air. Hiei occasionally cast wary glances to the ferry girl to make sure she was doing okay. Botan just felt relieved to be out and about, having spent quite a bit of time in the apartment.

The two found a bench deep in a wooded area so she could sit while Hiei trained. Botan even brought her book with her to read about their ever-growing bundle of joy. She was so excited, and every so often she’d sneak glances at Hiei over the pages, her partner through all of this. He really came through for her to make sure to get her on a routine so she could sleep. She knew he didn’t need to rest as much as she did, but he always made sure to stay with her until she woke up before they started their day, even if he was already awake. She never expected this much from him, and she couldn’t help but fall further for him, even if she knew their relationship was more complicated than that.

Now that she was at twenty-six weeks, she only had fourteen more weeks to go. Their son was the size of an eggplant now. Botan couldn’t even imagine how one so small would one day grow into a little person.

His eyelashes were growing, and his fingernails were developing. He could actually open his eyes, now, and he could see what was going on. He was learning to swallow, which would help with his lung development, and weighed about two pounds. It was hard to believe he was only fourteen inches long. Soon, he was going to grow big enough that he wouldn’t be able to move around as much. That was okay, Botan guessed. As much as she loved to feel his movements, she could use a break from all those punches and kicks.

Like father, like son, Botan thought happily as she hummed along.

“What are you doing?”

Botan nearly jumped off the bench in surprise. Hiei appeared behind her and looked over her shoulder as he often did. His hand was on his shoulder to prevent the action as if to keep the woman from accidentally hurting herself. Those eyes of his seemed to hold a silent apology as he gestured his head in the direction of the book and grabbed a drink of water.

Botan looked back down to her book, noting the part where it talked about their baby’s development. “It says his brainwaves are kicking in,” she stated. Hiei snorted at the comment and looked away. Botan was surprised by his dismissal. “What?”

“The brat’s brainwaves have been active from the beginning,” he told her, watching her eyes widen in her shock. “The kid reached out to me multiple times.”

“Really?” Botan asked, completely fascinated, her matching purple pools sparkling with her troublesome curiosity. “About what?”

Hiei swallowed nervously, unsure if he was comfortable divulging how tumultuous his emotions had been since the first jolt. Instead of delving deep into those issues, he simply told her of the time she was sick. “You were upset over my words, back then,” he reminded her reluctantly. “You were upset, and it caused him to react harshly. You weren’t eating and barely sleeping, and you were constantly getting sick, eventually vomiting blood.”

Botan remembered. It had been a horribly scary time for her, and she barely remembered anything but pain and waking up to Hiei in her room. “His energy increased,” Hiei explained, cutting through her memories. “I communicated with him to tell him to cut it the hell out, and he listened. You stopped throwing up after that.”

His story shocked Botan, and he could see it in her eyes. He incorrectly assumed that her astonishment was a product of the knowledge that the baby caused her body so much damage, but the words out of her mouth sent him reeling.

Timidly, she asked, “You…you did that for me?”

Hiei’s expression went grim as he remembered how he treated her in the beginning of this ordeal, and her surprise was warranted. He acted in a way that was unbecoming of him, and he constantly hurt the woman. Still, it twisted at his gut, the bewildered expression on the woman’s face as if she had never expected him to consider her back then. “I gave you my word that I would protect you, did I not?”

Botan didn’t answer, but she smiled and leaned back against the bench, happily humming once again as she continued to turn the pages. Hiei leaned back too and looked up at the sky for a moment before he closed his eyes and let her soothing tune relax him. It amazed him how the voice that once grated on his eardrums could ease him all these years later.

“Hey, this is neat,” she spoke, earning his attention again. “It says since he can see now, if we wanted to get him kicking a bit, we can shine a flashlight at my stomach, and basically he’d be telling us to ‘get the light out of his eyes’.”

“Hn,” Hiei scoffed, crossing his arms. “So, for shits and giggles this book is recommending we torture our son by blinding him. And the humans think we’re depraved.”

It was a joke, Botan could tell, and she couldn’t help but laugh and sweat-drop at the same time. As she turned her attention back to the book, she could have sworn she saw Hiei’s lips curve into a contented grin, but if she were to ever call him out on it, the fire demon would tell her that she was mistaken.

Botan looked herself up and down in the mirror and frowned, sighing as she actively tried to push her insecurities out of her mind. She was getting better at it, but she still couldn’t look passed the chunkiness of her features. Well, some days she could. It was starting to be a weird, emotional roller coaster for her.

It was about to peak upward again.

Hiei entered the room and noticed Botan’s displeased expression. His brow furrowed at her form as the woman eyed herself in the mirror again. Some days, he just wanted to destroy that thing. He didn’t understand why the ferry girl did this to herself. What was she looking for, anyway?

To reassure her of what he knew she was thinking, he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting over her middle. She gasped and shakily called out his name. “H-Hiei?”

“You shouldn’t worry about these superficial things,” he reminded her. “You’re keeping our child safe.”

Botan felt herself relax considerably. It always made Botan’s heart sore when Hiei referred to the baby as theirs. She knew Hiei was right, but she just couldn’t help but feel strange. Her navel was protruding outward, and she just didn’t look right. Still… With what Hiei said, her hands moved to caress her belly. Their child was in there, and she really was keeping him safe and warm. It didn’t matter if her belly button decided to come out. It was yet another thing that would go away. She would just have to deal until then.

She was about to turn around to thank her lover, only for him to appear in front of her, hoisting her up in his arms. The fire demon crashed his lips to hers, hungrily drinking her in as best as he could. He pulled away and looked into Botan’s eyes. The pair exchanged knowing, lustful glances, although Hiei could see pure love in Botan’s eyes. The two resumed their passionate session, and Hiei pressed her against the wall as gently as he could. His hand gently grazed her belly once again, feeling comforted by the presence of both his woman and child.

While Botan was getting ready for another day, Hiei came across her book. She left it lying on the coffee table on a page listing her current symptoms. Hiei scoffed when he scanned the page and saw that insomnia and indigestion were symptoms she’d be feeling that week. Honestly, she hardly ever stopped feeling them, and it had been that way for months, it felt like.

He decided to look at his own guide. It had been quite a bit since he did, focusing on the pages he read with Botan religiously. Truth be told, he quite liked those moments. As bothersome as it was to see all the trouble the woman was enduring, there was something strangely comforting when he sat or stood beside the woman, the two silently reading the contents together, experiencing the same joyous awe when they read about the growth of their son or concerns when they read about a new symptom. It became part of their weekly routine.

With the new habit forged, Hiei neglected his guide. Honestly, he would occasionally glance at it, and the book gave him tips on how to make Botan more comfortable. Her book did a better job. Still, he figured he may as well as he waited for the woman to finish showering.

“Now is the perfect time, and possibly the last time for a while, for a romantic getaway,” the book read, causing one of Hiei’s brows to raise. “Most airlines require a doctor’s note for third-trimester travel, and after thirty-six weeks, some airlines won’t let her fly at all. Twenty-six weeks is the ideal time for moms-to-be to travel and take off for a romantic fling, especially since travel will be even more difficult with a new addition. So, get up and go, with an okay from you doctor of course.”

Dark brows furrowed as he took in the words of the book. He closed it after he read the part to carry the majority of the luggage and bring enough water. He never really considered traveling anywhere with Botan. Honestly, when he showed up to act as her protector, he wanted nothing to do with her. He saw this whole ordeal as an imprisonment, an obligation, and an inconvenience for him. That had long since changed, and he grew to accept that they were together in this. Still, they didn’t leave home very often. Before their argument, he at least tried to get her out as often as he could. It was harder to do now that it was getting cold. Despite the frequent trips to visit Yukina and the random outings with the members of the group, never did Hiei think that Botan might want to go somewhere else, somewhere further away, to avoid focusing solely on her symptoms and worries.

An exasperated sigh stole his attention away, and he quickly shut his book and placed it back on the table. He looked at the woman, and the ferry girl ran her hand through her hair before she awarded him a frustrated, but kind smile. “I should just live in there for the rest of this,” she stated as she pointed to the bathroom. “He’s moving around so much in there that I keep having to go.”

Hiei snorted and shook his head, but he said nothing more as he moved to approach her. Botan beamed at him, took his hands in hers, and added, “I bet he’s practicing for all that training he’s going to be doing.”

“Hn,” the fire demon responded. “Maybe.”

As it to make a point, when Hiei placed his hand on her abdomen and rubbed, the boy sent a couple of well-placed kicks. Botan smiled and, beside himself, Hiei did too, but he jolted out of it when Botan’s hand ran through his hair. He felt that similar sensation, the one that felt like her hands were drugged, for, whenever she scratched his scalp, he felt completely at ease.

Botan noticed this and grinned victoriously. For the longest time, Hiei had been looking out for her, and lately he did so out of want instead of obligation. Even so, he had his own worries, many that he rarely discussed with her, but she knew they were there beneath the surface. Hiei made everything so much easier for her lately, and she kept hoping she could one day return the favor. Finally, she found it.

“I have an idea,” she murmured softly, subtly guiding her demon lover to the couch. He seemed to follow suit despite being out of it. “Why don’t we stay in today and just rest. I’m feeling rather tired.”

“Mm,” Hiei grunted, the sound muffled by his closed lips. As Botan sat, he did too, leaning into her touch as her nails began to gently dig in. He had to clench his teeth to keep a satisfied groan from escaping. His body seemed to move on its own accord as he nestled against the woman. He felt like he was fading and falling fast, and Botan moved so that they were in comfortable positions, curled up together on the couch. Her lips quirked slightly as she observed his tranquil expression, all of Hiei’s features smoothed out. She nuzzled against her lover, cuddled close, and continued to run comforting circles through his hair. The two felt asleep together on the couch with nary a care in the world.

From that day, the peace continued to stick with the unlikely couple. Their child became more active, and they got more rest during the day. It actually helped Botan immensely since this evening insomnia was not going away. As a spirit, Botan was never one to require sleep, but this human body sure did. A full night’s sleep was becoming rarer and rarer for both herself and Hiei, if she was being honest.

But at least their afternoon catnaps became more frequent, and their little unspoken secret.

Her baby kicked, vying for her attention, and Botan giggled as she was pulled from her thoughts. “Hey there,” she spoke lovingly to the bump. Her hand moved to where she felt the tiny pulse. Her son seemed to target her hand, and she grinned. “You’re becoming quite energetic. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”

“Hope not,” Hiei remarked, coming from out of nowhere, startling Botan. She practically stumbled, tripping over her own two feet. Hiei quickly caught her and righted her immediately, and a small wave of dizziness washed over her.

Botan smiled her silent thanks and then said, “Wow, I keep losing my footing there. You know, my book said this could happen. Clumsiness is a symptom to watch out for.”

“We’re doomed,” Hiei jested, although his voice sounded completely serious. Botan eyed him questioningly. “You were already clumsy in the first place.”

The woman’s mouth gaped open like that of a fish before she blinked at him and then grinned. “Hiei, are you teasing me?” she asked, practically in awe.

Her answer was a kiss, Hiei using his strength to trap her. Botan didn’t seem to mind it so much, and she had to admit that she was disappointed when he broke away from her and sat her down on a kitchen stool. Hiei went to grab her a glass of water, which surprised Botan. Hiei noticed, unbeknownst to the ferry girl, her gripping her head after he situated her. She had been getting pesky migraines as of late.

“What else are you feeling aside from being additionally floundering?” He smirked when she slightly puffed her cheeks in irritation, no longer amused by his taunting.

“Well,” Botan murmured. She took a moment to think about it. “I’m kind of feeling bloated and gassy, so much so that I don’t really want to eat anything.” Hiei frowned and shook his head before he went to the fridge, knowing that was her warning that she’d probably forget to eat. “I’ve been having those migraines that Hanako warned me about, and they brought the dizziness back, unfortunately.”

“Mm,” Hiei grunted in displeasure. “What else?”

“Pregnancy brain,” Botan grumbled, earning a confused gaze from Hiei. “What? It’s a thing. The book said so. It’s that fuzziness of the brain, from the lack of sleep and hormones and stuff. My memory is just terrible. I’ve had to make lists for myself all week to make sure I remember to do my exercises.”

So that was what those papers all over the living space were, Hiei mentally pondered as he pulled out some grapes and cheese snackers for the woman.

“Oh, and the round ligament pain,” Botan recalled. “I’m just in a bit of pain today, though. Staying off my feet has helped.”

Hiei paused in his movements and stared into space for a moment before he uttered the word, “Good.”

“In addition to all the other stuff,” Botan continued, “my eyes have been feeling itchy and dry, and my vision has blurred a couple of times. It doesn’t help with the dizziness.”

Hiei grinned forlornly, disheartened by her dilemma. “All of these excuses for the clumsiness, hm?”

Botan laughed a little dismally, understanding why Hiei was attempting another round of the joke. “Well, it’s not all bad. I get to feel this little one move around, and that’s distracting enough. I think he’s ready to get out of there, honestly.”

Hiei shook his head. “Not yet. Hanako said he’s developing as a human child would, so that means there is still quite a bit left in his development.”

Botan nodded before another wave of exhaustion came over her out of nowhere. She was thankful that Hiei brought her the small plate of food. She didn’t think it would be wise to move at the moment.

As Botan took the plate, she decided to make conversation and asked, “Are you planning on going to the park to train today?”

Hiei paused. It was yet another new addition to their routine. Botan was more inquisitive about his day. The fire demon was still getting used to it all. He knew she was asking out of genuine interest and concern, hoping he was having a good day instead of being worried that he’d abandon her. That level of trust was completely foreign to him. It was the same kind of faith the stupid detective placed in him all those years ago at the Gate of Betrayal. Even then, he had done nothing to earn it, and yet he was given it anyway.

It was just as baffling with the woman as it had been back then. Presently, he could just hide his bewilderment better.

“No,” Hiei remarked, surprising the woman. “I made some strides and need a break.”

Botan smiled, clearly pleased with his response, although she didn’t know he was only telling a half-truth. “It’s wonderful that you can see when you need to rest,” she told him encouragingly. “I remember how impulsive you used to be and the type of training you did. You deserve a break.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted. He took a seat across from her. Unbeknownst to Botan, he would not take his eyes off her. Truth be told, he did make strides, but he wasn’t staying in because he needed a break, and he was still far more impulsive with his training than he would ever let her see. There was a reason he felt compelled to stay in. Watching out for the woman had somehow become his first priority, and her accidental moments of stumbling over concerned him. Despite knowing the past would not repeat itself, Hiei still couldn’t get her first fall out of his head. Her motionless body was still fresh in his mind. He could not let that happen again.

“If you aren’t training today, would you want to help me with something?”

Hiei gave a curt nod, assuming she meant something with cleaning or cooking. “What needs to be done?”

“Nothing earth-shattering,” Botan replied. “Honestly, I’m not really sure what it is, but my guidebook said I need to make a ‘registry’ to prepare for the baby.”

“A what?” Hiei questioned, confused.

Botan shrugged and made a sound like ‘I don’t know’. “It’s something on the computer where we can put down stuff the baby needs.”

Hiei looked to their maze of a living room. So many objects lined the walls that they hadn’t touched at all since Kurama and the girls purchased them with the ferry girl. The baby needed more? That seemed kind of outrageous, but Hiei figured it couldn’t hurt.

“We have the majority already,” Botan continued, confirming his unspoken thought. “But there’s some other stuff I want to get for decorating his nursery, like a mobile and stuff like that.”

Hiei had no idea what a mobile was, but if Botan found it necessary, he reasoned there was nothing that needed to be said.

So, after breakfast, Botan took out her laptop and Hiei took a seat next to her at the kitchen table. The two stared blankly at the screen. Botan looked to her guide to get some kind of information on where to apply. The book didn’t give store names, and Botan barely remembered what stores existed.

The woman groaned and leaned her head on the table. “We really are doomed,” she grumbled, twisting Hiei’s earlier joke. “I don’t even know what the stores are that have baby stuff. How am I ever going to take care of a child?”

“Woman,” Hiei growled in warning. “It’s not a big deal. You already said we have most of the necessities. Just ask one of the girls which one of the blasted stores they took you to, and you’ll know.”

Botan perked up as if she didn’t just have an emotional meltdown. Her eyes bright as she said, “Hey, that’s a great idea. Shizuru will know!”

The ferry girl reached for the cell phone Kurama set up for her and dialed Shizuru. The woman picked up immediately, and Botan felt relieved. “Hi, Shizuru, how are you?”

Shizuru gave her a positive response before she asked, “What’s up, Blue?”

At that, Botan pouted. “Well, Hiei and I were going to try to do this registry thing, but we don’t really know what it is. It’s just a function for us to list what we still need, right?”

When Hiei heard that, he looked to the woman, baffled. Couldn’t they just write a list on paper? What did they need some backwards computer program to make a list? He was about to voice his distaste at the logic when he picked up the sound of the elder Kuwabara’s voice. “Yes, you should definitely do the registry,” Shizuru said without giving any indication as to why. “Once you do, text me the registry number, okay?”

Botan seemed just as confused. “Why would I do that? It’s our list…”

“Don’t worry about that,” the psychic replied. “Just send the information. Do you remember the places we went?”

“No,” Botan admitted weakly. “That’s why I was calling.”

“I’ll text you the information,” Shizuru told her. “I’ll get to it after I finish up with this walk-in that just showed up.”

“Okie dokie, then… I’ll send the info after you send me that,” Botan responded before she hung up. She looked to Hiei baffled, and the fire demon just gave a shrug. “Well…that was strange.”

“They’re all strange,” Hiei remarked. He tapped on the keys of the computer before he accidentally stumbled on the Internet search option. “You know how to work this thing. What’s that?”

Hiei pointed to the search bar, and Botan nearly banged her head down on the table again. The fire demon eyed her strangely, not knowing what set her off this time. “I’m a mess,” she murmured. “This pregnancy brain needs to go away.”

“Woman, what nonsense are you rambling about now?”

“Hiei, we could have just searched baby stores and found the information that way!”

The demon would have been annoyed by her whining if it wasn’t for the fact that he was just as irritated. Well, at least they could start somewhere, so they got busy. Hiei decided to have full reign over the computer as Botan tried to choose items that were far from necessities. They already had the car seat, stroller, crib, and mattress, among other things. Now they just needed a changing table, supplies, a highchair, some swing thing to soothe the baby, and something he could use to walk around. Hiei did let Botan choose her little mobile, though. The woman going for colorful dragons that made Hiei roll his eyes. At least that wasn’t the worst thing, although he did feel it a little mocking considering his most deadly attack.

The things he chose to suck up just to appease this woman…

Chapter Text

Botan couldn’t believe it! It was already the last week of October, one of her favorite times. As cliché as it might have seemed, the grim reaper loved Halloween. She wasn’t a horror movie type of gal, having experienced the reality of that hell on more than one occasion, but she loved fall and pumpkins and mysteries and those cute little bedsheet ghosties. Hiei practically rolled his eyes when she said all of this, and Botan just giggled in response and asked to go out for the night.

“Do you want to do that pathetic and childish trick-or-treating thing, too?” Hiei scoffed with derision.

The ferry girl smiled and answered with a shake of her head, though she knew she’d love to do that once her child was born. “No, not that,” Botan answered. “Kurama told me that he and Hanako were going to some fall festival on Halloween. It sounds fun. So, can we go?”

Hiei really didn’t want to be around a large crowd of humans, but honestly he wanted to keep this smile on Botan’s face. They had been stuck in the apartment all week with the cold and rainy weather. The woman deserved and needed a night out, or else it would affect her mood.

That, and that alone, was why Hiei agreed.

Botan found herself relaxing at home one morning, reading her book at the kitchen table while drinking a mango smoothie. She was surprised to learn that her baby boy, who was causing quite a ruckus in her tummy, was only the size of a cucumber. That’s one powerful cucumber, Botan thought to herself as she slurped up the smoothie through a straw.

Hiei came out of the shower, feeling refreshed after an early morning workout. Honestly, Botan had been deep in sleep when he woke, so he chose to take advantage of that fact. Something had been bothering him as of late, but he couldn’t place a finger on it. His instincts were on high alert. The need to keep the woman and his child close was at an all-time high. The fire demon didn’t know what to make of it.

Exiting the bathroom, he found Botan reading again and felt strangely miffed that she didn’t wait for him. She looked up from the book, sensing his eyes on her, and smiled. He noticed her cheeks turning a little red as she eyes him—the fire demon wore a pair of slacks, shirtless with a towel around his neck. “Good morning,” she chimed. “I was waiting for you.”

Hiei’s countenance eased up when she voiced this, and he chose to join her at the table. As she said, she was merely on the first page. She told him the parts she did read already, like the baby’s size and whatnot. They continued to read together and learned that the child could hear them already. Hiei assumed that the baby could hear what was going on in the outside world in detail like Hiei had been able to in utero, but he realized that he only communicated with the child through his mind and more recently by touch. It never occurred to him that that was the only way to communicate.

“Well, no wonder he keeps getting hiccups,” Botan said as she read a line that explained their son’s lungs were still developing. She rested a hand on her tummy and looked down. “You just keep on growing, mister,” she happily encouraged.

“Hn,” Hiei grunted and took the book from her. “It explains his increased activity, too. Seems he needs to kick, roll, and punch so his muscles can develop also.” Hiei looked to Botan and was surprised to find tears in her eyes. Immediately, he raced to her side, incredibly concerned. “Woman, what’s wrong?”

Even more surprising, Botan flashed him this brilliant, breathtaking smile and said, “I’m just so happy feeling him move around in there. He’s a little you.”

When she said this, Hiei felt like he was kicked in the gut. Those remarks twisted his insides, but he was starting to tolerate them. He released a wry chuckle before he set the book aside and pulled the ferry girl close to him. Botan seemed astonished by the unexpected contact, but she wasn’t complaining. She rested her head against his chest and savored the feeling of his warmth.

She really enjoyed these peaceful moments.

Hiei couldn’t believe all he was reading. Sometime after his and Botan’s set reading time, he found himself pilfering Botan’s book and took it to the park to read when he took a break from training. The unsettling feeling that his being harbored did not dissipate despite the calming atmosphere of their apartment. Part of Hiei hadn’t wanted to leave, but he realized he couldn’t become complacent. He knew that Botan was at least taken care of. The oaf and his psychic sister were looking out for her that day.

Their child was growing every day, but was still so small according to the guidebook, only a little over a foot long and weighing a measly two pounds. And this was supposedly double what it was only a month ago.

And Botan was still so sick.

While their child was curled up inside, Botan had been suffering six months’ worth of symptoms, and she still had three left to go. The dizziness and faintness she felt at the beginning was now an everyday thing instead of fleeting. On top of that, this restless leg syndrome was there to stay, and the ferry girl was now dealing with a new symptom of bleeding gums. There was even round ligament pain they’d have to watch out for. Hiei shook his head. She really didn’t need any more pain.

Her belly was itchy, and her nose was always stuffy. The woman was dealing with it all like a champ, but she was still so uncomfortable. Hiei was still certain his body heat wasn’t the best solution on top of all her discomfort, but he dared not make the same suggestion he did back when she first started dealing with itchy palms.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Hiei’s attention snapped away from the book, and he looked down from his perch. The meddlesome fox was standing at the base of the tree, a knowing smile on his face. “What do you want?”

“Nothing,” Kurama assured him. “I was in the park and could feel your presence. I figured you’d be in this area, despite the fact that you are disguising your energy. Trouble?”

Hiei grunted and hopped down from the tree. “No,” he answered curtly, though his bristly demeanor told Kurama that was a lie.

He decided to walk back to the park entrance with Hiei.  “So, I hear you and Botan are joining Hanako and I tonight at the festival,” Kurama stated, changing the topic. “I must admit that I am a bit surprised.”

“The woman wanted to get out,” Hiei indicated. “That’s where she wanted to go.”

“That’s true,” Kurama replied. “What is surprising is that you would be accompanying her. You know she’ll be safe with us. Why put yourself through an ordeal you hate when she’s already in good hands?”

Hiei gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Leave it to the fox to know just exactly what was going on while baiting someone into saying it. Not one for games, Hiei decided to just humor the demon. After all, he already decided to stop lying to himself. He may as well admit it. “You already know the answer, fox.”

“Do I?” Kurama questioned, asking more for confirmation than to keep the act going.

“You do,” Hiei nodded, continuing to walk.

“I must admit that I’m not surprised,” Kurama remarked. “In all our past gatherings, you two always seemed to find your way to each other.”

Hiei tensed, still clenching his fists. “It doesn’t mean anything will come of it,” the fire demon acknowledged. Kurama merely smiled knowingly. “What?”

“Nothing,” the fox responded. “Just focus on the present moment. I have an inkling that everything will work out in both yours and her favor. The baby’s, too.”

The fire demon didn’t respond this time. Honestly, he didn’t know what to think about Kurama’s perceptive words. The fox had an uncanny ability to read situations in a such a way where he could predict all the unlikely outcomes. That’s what Hiei’s situation with Botan was…unlikely to last. Maybe that was why Kurama chose to believe that the situation between him and the ferry girl would work out.

Kurama looked over to his quiet friend, grinning as if he knew some big secret. Truth be told, he always thought that his friends would find their way to one another. He never predicted it being through a drunken one-night stand or for there to be a child on the way, but there was always something between them. That was why Kurama believed the best in the situation. Now that Hiei was in a relationship role with Botan, the hard part was over. As he grew more complacent in her company, Hiei would realize that he didn’t need to look toward a future without her.

Hiei froze for a moment and caused Kurama to stop walking ahead. The fire demon’s eyes were closed, the distinct glow of the Jagan beneath his headband. After a few moments, Hiei opened his eyes and looked far from pleased. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Hiei stated before he began to walk again. This time, though, he knew he was lying. Something felt off in the air, but he couldn’t place the sensation. “Let’s just get this night over with.”

Kurama’s expression was grim. “Very well. I will see you both later.”

Hiei disappeared from view in a flicker.

Botan sighed as she exited the shower, missing the warmth of the water already in her cool apartment. She knew Hiei was only looking out for her when he decided to open all the windows in the place, but Botan didn’t like the cold on these brisk, autumn days. She could sometimes get away with wearing a sweater or blanket, but today she just felt frigid. Well, it didn’t matter. She would just have to dress warmly for the festival that night. She really couldn’t wait!

As she went to choose something to wear, Botan couldn’t help but notice that a lot of her clothes didn’t fit her the way she wanted. She really tried this time not to get frustrated, but she couldn’t help it. Her body and even her extremities were already so swollen. It just felt all wrong!

She was sulking in her room by the time Hiei came home to see that Botan sent Kuwabara and his sister away. Hiei sighed and went to sit beside her on the bed. He knew just from seeing the various clothes strewn around her why she seemed so angry. “Why are you so upset with this weight gain when you know you’re pregnant and carrying the weight of an extra person?” the fire demon asked calmly. He had to keep his voice as level at possible to make sure he didn’t accidentally insult or criticize the woman.

“I can’t explain it,” the ferry girl revealed with a shake her head. “I was never really a vain person. It’s just that, I don’t know… I don’t look or feel like myself. I don’t like it.”

Hiei nodded, understanding her plight. She wasn’t used to all these feelings of pain and the twisting emotions that came with pregnancy. As a spirit, she didn’t have to face this often. The woman wasn’t sure what to do with how she was feeling, something Hiei could relate to. With her mind the muddled miasma it was, it meant he needed to redirect her thoughts for her.

“You don’t look like yourself,” Hiei agreed, and Botan took offense to it. She turned to scold him, but Hiei was already on top of her, pressing her against the soft mattress as he kissed her neck. He murmured against her. “You look better.”

“H-Hi…” Botan barely managed to get out part of his name. She could feel the fire demon’s lips curl into a smirk against her skin. He pulled away and placed butterfly kisses down her body. When he reached her growing swell, he paused, marveled by the fact that as his ear grazed upon the woman’s belly, he could hear the strong beating of the child’s heart.

It reminded him that the baby could hear him, too.

A chuckle escaped him as he thought about what he was about to do. It was completely unlike him to have such a desire, but once the notion struck him, there was no turning back. “You hear that, boy? Your mother is being ridiculous.”

“Heh,” Botan laughed, smiling brightly at her lover as he unknowingly caressed her stomach. “I’m being ridiculous?” She received a few gentle kicks from within, and she saw an amused glint in Hiei’s eyes. “It’s not fair that you’re already ganging up on me.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted before creeping up her body once more. Botan’s eyes widened in surprise by the fire demon’s speed, but her shock soon turned to contentment as Hiei pressed his forehead to hers.

A little while later, Botan finally chose something to wear, and she and Hiei were ready for their outing. Of course, while getting herself together, Botan felt faint and dizzy. As her book suggested, Hiei got her to lie down and elevated her feet, and the dizzy spell dissipated. The fire demon felt that twinge of foreboding, and he thought that maybe this festival would not be a good idea for the woman. “We can back out at any time,” he reminded her. “Are you sure you wish to go out?”

“I’ll be fine,” Botan countered with a weak nod. “I already packed my little satchel of snacks, and there’s a bottle of water in the attached pocket. If I get dizzy, I’ll just sit down and have a snack.”

Hiei still didn’t seem convinced that they should go, but he nodded anyway. “Fine,” he agreed. “Then we should leave now if we’re going to meet up with the fox and witch on time.”

Botan sighed and shook her head, knowing that Hiei would never abandon his nickname for her doctor. “Okie dokey. Let’s head out then.”

Hiei helped Botan to her feet and steadied her so she wouldn’t stumble. After a moment of holding her a bit too long, he released her and the two headed out.

It didn’t take them long to reach the festival grounds, and Botan immediately spotted Kurama’s fiery, red hair. Likewise, Kurama took notice of her and Hiei and waved them over. Botan tried to taper her reaction. All she really wanted to do as she looked around was skip happily, but she knew her joints and body would not approve of such an action.

As everyone settled in, they walked around the different booths and food carts. Botan wondered if they would see Yusuke, but Kurama told the ferry girl that Yusuke had some other matters to attend to tonight with Keiko elsewhere. Botan found it humorous. She wondered what Yusuke was making up for this time. In any case, she was excited to be here. So many delicious smells made her and the baby hungry, so the group stopped to eat.

“It’s good to see that your appetite has improved,” Hanako observed, always the one to pay close attention to her patients, even when she was not on the clock.

Botan flashed her a smile. “It comes and goes, but I guess me being excited brought it back full swing. Honestly, it’s so great to get out. I feel like I’ve become such a hermit. I’m so out of the loop with what is happening in everyone’s life. I mean, I found out the last time we went clothes shopping that Shizuru broke up with that nice waiter. And that was over a month ago!”

Kurama smiled sympathetically. Honestly, he knew how much Botan enjoyed knowing the happenings of her friends’ lives. She wasn’t exactly a gossip, but she had an interest in making sure everyone was happy. Since the start of her pregnancy, Botan had been having a difficult time, and some days she just didn’t feel well. No one wanted to overtax her. They would call or text to check in on the woman, but they all wanted her to rest. Besides, Botan’s focus centered on the baby and her budding relationship with a temperamental fire demon. It was only natural to fall out of the loop.

“Well, on that front,” Kurama started, “I recently set up Shizuru with Kaito.” Both Hiei and Botan looked to the fox demon like he was crazy, and then Kurama realized who they were probably thinking about. “Not that Kaito,” he assured with a smile. “Someone who works at my stepfather’s company. Things seem to be going well for them at the moment.”

Botan seemed appeased by this, but then she noticed Hiei’s dark demeanor, probably from remembering that case from so long ago. She kept her amusement to herself, though. Truthfully, she hadn’t done much better in that challenge.

“Wait, who did they think you were talking about?” Hanako asked.

Hiei looked away; he felt a loathsome feeling akin to embarrassment, and grumbled something under his breath. Botan laughed nervously. “Let’s just say he was an ally during an old case and leave it at that.”

Hanako could sense there was more to it, especially when Botan’s timidity earned an amused chuckle from the redhead. Kurama looked at Hiei, and a growl escaped the fire demon. The doctor figured it was best not to ask any further questions.

Once the meal was finished, Botan went back to exploring the beautifully decorated scene. Everyone was wearing elegant kimonos. She, herself, settled for her pink kimono. No one would think anything of her Spirit World attire, and it fit her comfortably. She looked at Hiei; the fire demon matched her stride as she walked. His mind seemed preoccupied, but Botan didn’t mind. She was thankful he was humoring her, and although he was reluctant to dress up, he still looked very handsome in his black shirt and training slacks.

Out of nowhere, though, Botan felt a shift in the air, and her senses were on high alert. Apparently, Hiei felt the wave, too, for he pulled her to him, and shifted her quickly to Kurama who was also at the ready. It happened so fast that Botan didn’t realize was what was going on until she was with Hanako and Hiei and Kurama were in hot pursuit of what looked like a low-level demon.

“Botan, are you all right?” Hanako asked frantically. The doctor checked the woman over for injuries before her eyes scanned the crowd in the direction where the two demons disappeared.

“I…I,” Botan managed to get out before she felt dizziness overtake her. “I need to sit now.”

“Yes, of course,” Hanako agreed. She led Botan to a bench, and the two sat down. A local vendor came over and handed Botan a bottle of water. No one knew what happened, since everything happened so quickly, but they noticed something strange occurred. After a few moments, the commotion died down, and Botan was trying to catch her breath and make sense of what happened. The obvious fact, though, was that she was attacked by a demon. Why, she had no idea.

Eventually, she calmed enough to laugh weakly. “It’s never a dull moment with us, huh?”

“I guess not,” Hanako replied, smiling sadly. “I wonder why that demon went after you.”

“It’s hard to know,” Botan explained. “It could be because they sensed demon energy from my child like everyone else seems to, or maybe they recognized my Spirit World clothing. I do kind of stand out in a crowd if you know what to look for.”

“Perhaps,” Hanako agreed. “Either way, I’m sure Hiei and Shuichi will handle it, though I have to say I don’t think I’ve ever seen him run that fast.”

“Well, that’s to be expected of Kurama,” Botan chimed. “After all, with his demon energy, he can do quite a bit more than the average human.” When Botan was met with silence, she looked at her obstetrician and noticed her look of surprise. Botan’s mouth gaped open as she realized what she just did. She was certain that Kurama had not yet told the woman of his true identity or even shared his other name. “I mean… Oh poo…”

“Shuichi is a demon too?” Hanako questioned, her brows furrowed. “His energy was always baffling to me, but I never thought…”

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Botan whined as she hid her face. She knew Kurama wouldn’t be as threatening as Hiei had been in the past, but she still felt horrible for spilling his secret.

Hanako smiled empathetically. “Don’t worry, Botan. I won’t say anything, I promise. Besides, it changes nothing between me and him.”

Botan perked up and regarded the woman with her amazement. “Really?”

“Really,” Hanako reassured her with a nod. “It just honestly explains a lot. Truthfully, I’m glad I know now. It’s just another secret I have over him.” She winked at Botan, and the ferry girl laughed.

“You know, you’re both too much alike,” the ferry girl observed. “I think you make a great match.”

Meanwhile, Hiei was still in pursuit of the demon filth that dared to go after the woman and his child. He recognized it immediately as being one of the peons of a group who defected from Mukuro’s territory after the first Demon World Tournament, unhappy with the new laws. The demon fled quickly but rounded back around to somewhere close to the festival. Hiei could care less about other humans being around. He had every intention to make the creature pay.

Eventually, the reckless demon hit a dead end, very close to where he initially attacked. He was obviously hoping to go full circle, maybe get another chance to succeed in his assault. Now, though, he had nowhere to run, and Hiei was very angry. The dragon on his arm stirred to life, fed off his fury as he drew his sword. Kurama was close behind him and called his name, but the fire demon ignored him. He was out for blood, now.

His opponent could see that, and being the weakling and cowardly creature it was, it begged for mercy. “I-I was just following orders,” he protested. “Please, spare me. She was just a job.”

Hiei didn’t care, and his eyes conveyed that. He launched himself at the demon but halted when another voice called for him.

“Hiei!” Botan’s voice reached him. He froze. What the hell was she doing there? It was as if she had sensed his and her attacker’s return. He turned to see the woman and the witch standing with her, both looking at the scene in confusion.

“I swear, please have mercy,” the demon pleaded again. “I…I’ll leave. I won’t come after her again.”

“You’ve been stalking us all week,” Hiei growled. “Don’t think I didn’t sense you.”

“L-like I said, just a job, an assignment, but I don’t have to return,” the demon quickly replied. “I didn’t really want to hurt her.”

Hiei…?

Hiei flinched again from hearing Botan’s voice in his mind. He had observed her through the Jagan for just a few moments at the start of his pursuit, but he didn’t realize that the eye connected them once again. Maybe that was how she found him? Woman, now is not the time for—

Can’t you let him go? Hiei’s attention snapped to her physical form, and his eyes narrowed.

What do you think? Hiei hissed. What do you think will happen if I do? If I let this bastard go, more will show up to harm what’s mine, and I will not allow it.

But —

You have the chance to leave, he informed her, but he is not leaving here alive.

Botan nodded and then looked at Hanako and said something to the woman. The two were about to take their leave when another wave of darkness crossed over them. This time, Kurama was the one to react, and his rose whip captured another demon in its thorns. It was then that Botan seemed to finally understand the position she was in. The blue-haired spirit pushed the startled human away from the scene.

The second they were out of view, Kurama finished the job and cut through the creature. That only left the demon at Hiei’s mercy. Crimson eyes narrowed at the frightened demon who could only offer a nervous laugh. "Now let’s not do anything rash…”

“Rash?” Hiei repeated as he glowered at the demon. “You’ve just signed your death warrant. This is justice.”

After Hiei’s blade slaughtered the creature to shreds, Kurama approached him. Honestly, the fox agreed with his decision, although he was certain that Hiei could have handled this all on his own, even the appearance of the second demon. “I should have stayed with the girls,” he stated. “It seems you didn’t need my help otherwise.”

Hiei merely grunted before he flicked the demon’s blood off of his katana and sheathed it. “I should have remembered weaklings always travel in pairs. I lost track.”

The pair said nothing more before they returned to the girls. They found them by the festival entrance. Botan was pacing, worry in her eyes. Hanako was the one to call the ferry girl’s attention to the demons’ return. Hiei could tell that Botan was very bothered, and he didn’t blame her. When he and Kurama reached them, Hanako tried to diminish the tension and suggested they go to get a snack or to do something else to take Botan’s mind off of what happened. Unlike before, Botan’s excitement was gone, and she was hesitant. Surprisingly to Hiei, she denied Hanako’s offer and expressed her desire to go home.

Kurama accepted this. He hugged the woman goodbye and told her to call if they needed anything. He and Hiei exchanged somewhat secretive glances, understanding the unspoken conversation they held with one another.

Hiei took Botan home, his senses on high alert, just in case, but he was certain he dealt with all of the ferry girl’s attackers for the evening. Once inside, Botan startled Hiei when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She clung to him as if he was her lifeline. His expression softened, the murderous gleam gone as her tear-filled eyes met his. He managed to close and lock the door behind him before he led Botan into their living room.

The two of them cuddled together, more for Botan’s sake than for Hiei. The woman fell asleep after a short while, and Hiei just watched her. His blood still boiled with anger over what happened. He had been feeling off all week, and he knew something was going to happen. He should have trusted his instincts more, or at least been more vigilant. Although he had been on alert, the weak demon still came far too close to the woman for his liking.

Hiei knew those demons, weaklings that joined Demon World’s resistance. They specifically targeted the woman solely because of his service to Mukuro. There was no other explanation. He’d have to contact his mentor and friend to relay what happened.

For now, though, his focus was the woman. He vowed then to never allow anyone to harm Botan. He hoped he sent a clear message that night that no one was to trifle with what was his.

A couple days passed, and Botan’s anxiety from the attack disappeared. She had been so worried when she sensed Hiei with the other demon. Of course, she hadn’t been worried for the demon. Yes, she did try to reason with Hiei, but only because she just wanted to get away and go home. Where the demon was weak, she had an irrational concern for the fire demon, worried the demon would try to harm him.

The morning after, she realized how silly that fear had been.

Waking up in Hiei’s arms reassured her so much. They barely had any desire to leave the house, so they ordered in food and spent most of the day cuddled up on the couch. Botan was sure Hiei would have rather been doing anything else, but she wanted him nearby both for the lingering worry she had for him, however misplaced, and for her own subconscious desiring protection.

The day following, they separated for a time. Botan went to wash up while Hiei contacted Mukuro. Afterward, Botan was still in the shower, taking her time reveling in the relief of the hot water. In the meantime, Hiei decided to look at some of the pamphlets Hanako gave them on their last office visit. They hadn’t touched them since, but Hiei figured at least one of them should know the information.

So, he took out the booklet labeled ‘Braxton Hicks’. Apparently, it was possible that as they came to the last months before the baby’s birth, there was the very real possibility that Botan would experience false labor pains. It would be her body’s practice for labor and delivery, but they were nothing to be concerned about. It would be more prevalent in the third trimester, which they were fast approaching, and they would not be the most comfortable experience for the woman. Of course, they would be sporadic and less frequent than the real thing, and they would diminish as Botan changed her position. Not only that, but Hiei was certain that he’d have some sort of alert from the child or there would be some spark of energy. He tossed the pamphlet aside, not caring to read further.

Had he read further, he would have seen what to do in case the contractions became stronger and more frequent, especially in the terms of early labor.

Later that night, Botan was having a difficult time staying asleep. It wasn’t really for any reason other than the baby just kept hiccupping. The ferry girl knew it would happen eventually. Her guide explained that it was practice for the baby to learn to swallow. Between the lack of sleep, and the recent demon attack, it was getting harder and harder for the woman to relax. As much as she had tried to keep calm, she was still tense and overwhelmed.

Hiei took notice.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” Botan whined as she threw her head back against the pillow. “I can’t sleep, and it’s not fair to always keep you up with me.”

“I’m fine,” Hiei assured her. Honestly, he got more sleep there in that apartment with her than anywhere from days to months in Demon World. “We need to figure out a solution for you.”

Botan nodded, meeting the fire demon’s concerned gaze. He tried to play it off his trepidation, his expression neutral, but the woman learned to read the subtle hue of his eyes. “Well, a while back, I read about meditation to help relax. I thought about maybe going to Genkai for some kind of meditation training, but every time we’re there, I just get so exhausted and I forget to ask.”

Hiei hummed in interest as he pulled Botan close to him. It didn’t sound like the most farfetched idea in the world. Perhaps it would be beneficial. Besides, it was something he needed to do. Mukuro made sure to remind him to meditate when last they spoke, probably sensing his growing agitation. “We can ask the old woman when we go to visit Yukina this weekend. Maybe it will do us both some good.”

Surprised to hear that, Botan grinned and settled in next to Hiei. Of course, she still felt wide awake. Hiei’s gaze seemed to be intently on her; the fire demon had no plans to leave her to her insomnia. “You know, there’s something else we need to prepare for.”

“What is it?” Hiei sighed.

“Well, Hanako told me we should sign up for a birthing class,” Botan explained, earning Hiei’s full attention. “You see, there’s a lot we need to know, me especially. I’ve never… I’m not sure I’ll know what to do. Hanako said it’ll help to deal with whatever uncertainties we have about the hospital and the whole experience.”

“We’ll sign up tomorrow,” Hiei said with finality. He was half expecting Botan to chatter off a list of new and unpleasant symptoms, but a birthing class was far more ideal. The fire demon was even more out of his element than Botan was. At least this way, he would be able to prepare for what would supposedly be one of the most stressful days of both their lives.

True to Hiei’s word, the next day, after a sleepless night for both of them, they headed to the hospital to sign up for the class. Surprisingly, Hiei ran into that annoying human again, the stranger who had given him unwarranted advice a long time back. The man awkwardly waved at Hiei, but the fire demon looked away. Botan, thankfully, did not noticed the exchange.

In fact, the ferry girl was a little overwhelmed as the clerk described the birthing class and many others. There was also an infant CPR case, and the woman paled as she thought of the possibility of her son ever being in that position. Hiei took the lead and signed them up for that one as well. When he saw the beginning of tears form in the ferry girl’s eyes, he stated, “It’s better to be prepared.” Botan sniffled, but nodded, agreeing with the demon. He noticed the glint of surprise in her eyes when he also signed up for an infant care class, more for his benefit than for hers. He wanted to be prepared for anything that could arise.

After they finished up there, Botan was hungry, and they decided to visit Yusuke’s cart. Yusuke was excited to see them, having created a new dish. Thankfully, Botan wasn’t craving anything weird with it. It made her give a more agreeable review this time.

When he asked what they were up to, Botan started chattering on about their day and how they signed up for classes. The fact that Hiei didn’t growl or demand the woman shut up caused Yusuke to pause in his cooking. Actually, as he looked at them, he realized that the two of them were sitting a lot closer than they ever had before. For a while, Botan rambled on about some random topic regarding the baby, more to discuss the child with Hiei. Yusuke watched them, feeling like an outsider, and Hiei hardly looked away from the woman. In fact, his eyes were, dare Yusuke say, soft. He made some cutting remark without any bite, and Botan laughed it off and gently pushed the demon’s shoulder. If all of this wasn’t weird enough, Hiei actually smirked, as if he were amused and was actually playing with the ferry girl.

Yusuke was baffled.

He looked between the two, but did not say anything. The second they left, he called Kuwabara. Everything was just completely strange about what he just witnessed. The last time he spoke to Hiei, he was still planning on walking out on Botan in the end. Today gave Yusuke no sign of that.

“Yeah, hey, we’ve gotta talk,” he said into his phone. “And hey, bring Kurama over too. Later, alright?”

Chapter Text

Being at the temple was so surreal when going to train instead of just hanging out with the group. Genkai had been very kind to Botan, not at all as harsh as she normally was with Yusuke or the others she trained. Hiei helped Botan down to the floor and took a seat beside her. The psychic seemed to be surprised when the usually moody fire demon stuck around, and that bewilderment was most likely part of the cause of her less than biting attitude.

After they were all settled, Genkai explained to Botan that meditation was the art of clearing one’s mind by focusing on her own breath. The psychic even talked the ferry girl through some breathing exercises. Hiei watched Botan, saw her features relax, but there was still the ever-present crease in her brow. She was trying too hard, he knew.

Genkai left the two of them be in the room after wishing Botan luck. Botan hardly reacted; her eyes remained shut. Once alone, Hiei joined her and closed his own eyes. They sat bow-legged, side by side, focusing on their breathing. A wave of calm came over them both. They weren’t even aware of the two women standing by the door.

Yukina smiled and giggled, earning Genkai’s attention. “What has you so happy?”

“They just look so adorable together,” the ice maiden answered with a grin. She looked between her brother and her friend. She was so happy that the two were getting along so well, that her twin went so far as to join Botan in these sorts of things.

Genkai snorted, but otherwise didn’t comment. Even she had to admit that the sight was welcome, more so than the squabbling that ensued around her temple near the beginning of the ferry girl’s pregnancy. It was about time the childish fire demon got a clue, taking part in this challenge instead of leaving the spirit to suffer alone. “We should leave them now. They need to focus.”

“Right,” Yukina agreed. She cast one last glance toward the pair.

The two women left, quietly closing the door, but honestly neither Hiei nor Botan were focused on anything. Their deep breathing changed to soft snores, and their features relaxed, shoulders slightly hunched. They were both exhausted from the sleepless nights, and because of this they fell asleep in the middle of their lesson. Botan was out like a light, and her body doubled over so that she was leaning against Hiei’s shoulder.

Later, Hiei was the first to wake and felt refreshed. He tilted his head to take in the sleeping woman’s features when he felt a pressure on his shoulder. She was still out, clearly needing much more rest than he did. Gently, he moved her, getting a hold on her as he laid her on a soft mat in the room. He took off his cloak to create a makeshift pillow for the woman. He lingered by her side and lifted her head to place the pillow. His hand ran through her long locks after she was comfortable.

While the ferry girl napped some more, Hiei went outside to train. Now that he was refreshed, his focus needed to be on protection. It hadn’t been long since their night out when the ferry girl was attacked, and Hiei had no idea if this would be a recurring issue or not.

He communicated the happenings to Mukuro, and she sent out her spies to gather information. Apparently, no one knew of the woman’s connection to him. Instead, they merely attacked her because of her involvement with Spirit World. From what Mukuro’s sources gathered, rebellious demons scoured the worlds for those carrying half-breed children. One of the demons caught sight of the ferry girl, and they determined that she wasn’t human but of Spirit World. The order was simple, to prevent the spirit/demon child from coming into the world. No one expected, though, that Mukuro’s general would be the one to sire that child. Most likely, now that this information was out in the open, it wouldn’t happen again, according to the former king.

Hiei did not share Mukuro’s optimism.

He heard the voice of his sister. “Hiei.” His eyes shifted to her, his expression its usual stoicism. She beamed brightly at him as she placed a tray on the table outside. “Would you like to join me for lunch?”

The fire demon sheathed his weapon and shrugged before he made his way over to the table. Yukina took a seat beside him. The two sat in silence at first. The maiden watched Hiei carefully as he prepared his cup of tea. She took note they he added quite a bit of sugar to the mix. He then took a sip and looked at his expectant twin. “It’s good,” he complimented simply, causing Yukina to smile.

“Thank you,” she replied. “Botan is still sleeping inside.”

Hiei gave a curt nod. “Good.” Anyone could tell she needed it.

“Have any of her symptoms died down?”

“No.”

Yukina frowned, but then she flashed an empathetic smile. “I think it’s nice that you came here with her to learn the techniques with her. You two seem to be getting closer.”

“Don’t,” Hiei warned, growing a bit tense as his sister voiced this. Despite admitting to himself and even Kurama that his ties to Botan were more than they had been in the past, he couldn’t let his sister believe that he and the woman had a future when he was still uncertain of it himself. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

Hiei met his sister’s concerned gaze. “Don’t make my actions out to be more than they are. This is just duty.”

Yukina flashed him this knowing look before she grinned and shook her head. “I think it stopped being duty a long time ago,” she observed, and Hiei found himself staring at a spot on the table. “If this was just duty to you, you would have left after bringing her here.”

Hiei shook his head. “She was attacked recently. I couldn’t let her go out on her own.”

“You could have sent her with someone else.”

He didn’t give her a response. It seemed Yukina was convinced that he and the ferry girl had something between them, like Kurama and the oaf. It amazed him how perceptive she was. For the longest time, Hiei assumed she knew nothing about relationships between those of the opposite sex. If she saw something, maybe everyone was right.

It made him want to ask. After all, he received plenty of unsolicited advice from his comrades and even strangers at the hospital. They didn’t know his background, not fully, but Yukina did.

“What do you know of it?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

Yukina seemed surprised that Hiei asked her such a question, for any kind of advice, but her surprise quickly disappeared. “More than you think,” she answered, smiling shyly. “I’m not oblivious to affection. I’m sure you’ve realized by now how Kazuma feels about me.” A grimace appeared on the fire demon’s face, but he stayed quiet. After all, he really had no say in what Yukina did after how long he hid their siblingship from her. He noted a sadness in Yukina’s eyes as she admitted, “And honestly, I feel for him too. For the longest time, I really did not understand those emotions, what they were or how much they meant. I feel that is the true curse of our people, to never feel or understand emotions.” Her serious eyes met Hiei’s, and the fire demon could not look away. “That is the legacy they left us.

“Being in this world, however, I learned that I felt differently than them,” Yukina continued. “Their laws and teachings don’t apply to me because I am different, and instead of running away from these feelings, I’ve embraced them.”

“How?” Hiei questioned, his brow furrowed. “You and the oaf aren’t exactly together from what I’ve seen.”

“Not yet,” Yukina agreed with a nod. “But that’s what is so nice about these feelings. You don’t have to rush them. Everything can just occur naturally. Those moments I spend with Kazuma are some of the best moments in my life. Even when I’m uncertain about what our future holds, I know one thing.” Yukina flashed Hiei a brilliant smile as she added, “He isn’t going anywhere, and neither am I.”

Hiei’s eyes widened a fraction, but his sister knew her words had the desired effect. Deep down, the two of them were the same, taught to repress their emotions and to toss them away. Their people were a loveless people, but they came from a woman who exhibited more love than their culture had ever witnessed. Yukina believed that their people were right about something, but not necessarily about Hiei. Being with another was a threat to their culture, and having different ideals made one a threat. Whatever doubts lingered in Hiei’s mind, Yukina hoped that she expelled them. They were not to be held to the same standards, and if that was holding Hiei back then maybe he would finally learn to accept the one simple truth.

He didn’t have to go anywhere, nor did he have to figure out his emotions now. He had time, and even once the baby was born, he didn’t have to disappear from the child’s or Botan’s life. He could adjust slowly.

The fire demon took in his sister’s words and felt a strange calm wash over him. She understood their background the most, and that caused him to put more weight in her words than anyone else’s. Still, he wanted to make one thing clear. She stated that she wasn’t going anywhere, and the oaf wouldn’t either. “I will not always be here,” he reminded her. “I have obligations elsewhere. The ferry girl does as well.”

“That’s why you have to make every moment you’re together count,” Yukina stated, her tone light, but serious.

Hiei pondered this for a moment and then thought back to the conversation the oaf once trapped him in. “I heard you’ve been doing more with Botan lately, so I guess you took my advice. That’s gotta be good for both of you. It’ll make things easier for you in the future. Well, I mean, you’ll probably be coming and going quite a bit, but I figured it would help with yours and Botan’s relationship and friendship when you come to visit the kid.”

Even back then, the human psychic was gearing Hiei for this moment. Even the last time he spoke to Kuwabara, when Hiei actually sought him out for advice, the human spoke candidly about how Botan wouldn’t expect him to always be around and how as long as his son knew he would be there for him, all would be fine. Was he speaking from his own experience and patience with his twin? Mukuro surprised Hiei when she said she expected his return after he and Botan came up with a parenting plan. In a way, was that her permission to give him the chance to be there?

From what Yukina was saying, it seemed the only choice he needed to make was if he wanted to have more moments with Botan in the future. They would come together in the future because of their child. As long as he made the choice to return, this whatever it was didn’t need to end, not until it ran its course or he figured out and understood what he was feeling. That was a choice he did not need to make now. As his sister did with the oaf, he needed to do with Botan. He just needed to focus on the moments, not what they meant, not now.

Hiei answered with a curt nod, but his serious countenance remained. Yukina’s concerned gaze questioned him. “Even if I do that, there is still the concern of what happened the other night.”

“What happened?”

“The woman was attacked,” Hiei explained. “Just because she was carrying the child of a demon.”

Yukina frowned, but she understood. “That’s part of the reason you two came here to relax, isn’t it?” That wasn’t the full reality of it, but Hiei did not interject to tell her differently. “You know, maybe the two of you need to get away from it all for a while.” An excitement surrounded her as a thought struck her. “You know, the two of you can take a trip together. It might be nice to see more of this world.”

Alhough he thought he hid it well, Hiei took note of how his twin was able to detect how stressed and overwhelmed he was. Botan was also. Actually, over the past month he found himself doing such embarrassing things like participating in at-home facials with her. It relaxed her, and honestly with the natural ingredients and such, Hiei secretly felt relaxed and refreshed as well. Since then, Hiei decided they needed a break, and after learning how to use that blasted computer, he found a couple of spa resorts he thought the woman might like.

Of course, this was just a fleeting notion that came out of boredom plus his guide’s suggestion of getting in some last-minute travel. He didn’t really have the resources to implement this unless he used his means of ‘persuasion’ to enact it. Still, the fact that his sister voiced a similar idea was a good sign he was looking in the right direction.

So, he told her, “I’ve been planning to do just that.”

Botan felt nice and refreshed the day after she and Hiei went to Genkai’s. Of course, she slept for a good six hours, long enough for them to stay for dinner and the night. She did the mediation thing again and was still able to fall asleep for the full night. Strangely enough, she woke up in Hiei’s arms, which was funny because he told her he would sleep in another room since he was planning to train late into the night. The ferry girl was actually pleased that Hiei came to her side instead, and part of her wondered what changed his mind.

It didn’t matter, she supposed, as they sat together at the breakfast table with her guidebook. Each week proved to be more exciting than the last. Now, their little cauliflower-sized headed baby was experiencing full-fledged REM sleep and dreams.

Excited at the prospect, Botan looked to Hiei and saw a distant glint in his eyes. It made her concerned for him whenever he had that glossy look to his irises, but she put on a smile and tried to get him talking. “So, what do you think our son dreams about?”

Hiei blinked, freed from his disparaging thoughts on his own past dreams. The fire demon hated every time he dreamt except for the most recent time where their child reached out to the both of them. That was the first ‘dream’ that ever brought Hiei peace. He hadn’t expected to be so disarmed by a word, and if the woman noticed it, she kept silent on the matter. Instead, she asked him a question.

To play off his discomfort, he decided to answer with a ‘joke’, if it could be called that in the stoic-toned manner he answered. “He probably dreams of rainbows and has his head in the clouds like you.”

He hid his amusement when Botan’s cheeks puffed out in irritation and secretly enjoyed the way he could so easily get under her skin. Fairly miffed, Botan replied, “Well, maybe he dreams like you do.”

Hiei paused; that same discomfort crept into him once again. His eyes moved to a spot on the wall before he admitted, “I hope not.”

Botan could see how her remark affected her lover, and she felt slightly guilty for causing this change in disposition. “Hiei?” she called his name questioningly.

His eyes flickered to her purple hues for a moment before he looked away. “I’m not going to talk about it.”

“Maybe it will help,” Botan told him, her voice devoid of judgement or pressure.

The fire demon sighed, knowing the curious woman wouldn’t ever let it go. Besides, she already knew enough about him to understand his vague answers. “I dream of my past. It was more of a nightmare than anything else.”

“I’m sorry,” Botan whispered.

Hiei shook his head and said, “Do not pity me.”

Botan looked surprised over his assessment of her apology. “Oh, Hiei, I could never pity you,” she assured him. “I love you, and it just breaks my heart that you’ve gone through so much.”

Hiei was stunned that Botan voiced her confession again, considering she had been saying things more along the lines of ‘we love you’ since her accidental confession not all that long ago. His crimson gaze met hers once again, this time a slight twinkle of fear in his eyes. “Woman…”

She pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. “I don’t expect you to say it back. This is enough.”

Hiei’s gaze softened; his eyes never left hers as she pulled her fingers away. Her words were simple and candid, but the demon heard her underlying message loud and clear.

“You are enough.”

In response to this, Hiei pulled the woman to him, kissed her, physically conveying just how much her words and actions meant to him. Botan’s mind buzzed warmly, causing a dizzy sensation unlike the spells she felt during the course of her pregnancy. As Hiei’s lips worked hers, she felt like she was being consumed by his warm fire. She struggled to form a coherent thought, her eyes closed.

When Hiei pulled away, Botan withheld a sound of protest that was bubbling up within her. The fire demon took in her dazed expression, his becoming a bit more inquisitive. Botan blushed at his undivided attention, feeling flustered from the intense, passionate emotions she felt for him in that moment. Her eyes shifted to the book, and she stammered as she tried to change the subject. “O-oh look,” she murmured. “It says our baby can blink now.”

Hiei looked to the book, and he saw a section on how the child could now open and shut his eyes as well as make faces. It was more proof that they boy was growing each and every day. It was another milestone, another step towards the baby’s birth. Hiei looked to the woman before he glanced back down at the book. The two then read about how their son’s position was shifting as even he was getting ready for the eventual delivery.

He was in awe that this child seemed more settled and prepared than he did himself.

Botan was relaxing another day during the week while Hiei was out training. He had not gone far, but he felt certain that the ferry girl wasn’t in any danger after whatever happened. At least, that was what he told her. Truthfully, Botan wasn’t worried so much either, but after how watchful Hiei had been, it surprised her that he left her alone for the day.

Being alone, in the silence, left the woman alone with her thoughts. She was seven months into her pregnancy, and so much happened in this time that it felt like a lifetime. Never did she expect Hiei to come so far, but it didn’t fully surprise her. After all, they somehow always found themselves together at gatherings with their friends. The first time it happened, it was completely accidental. Hiei arrived and she was talking to Kurama. Out of nowhere, Kuwabara had a question for the fox, and Kurama excused himself. Botan had been a bit nervous being around Hiei, mainly because he every so often reminded her of his threats when it came to Yukina. At that point, she had no intention of telling Yukina the truth. It was up to Hiei to bridge that gap.

She asked how he’d been, and Hiei scoffed and told her to cut the pleasantries in his cold and callous way. Instead of being offended, she giggled amusedly and told him he hadn’t changed a bit. He looked like he almost took it as an insult until he saw her smiling face. Then, she decided to keep the conversation going since he hadn’t run away. She pointed out that she heard good things from him through the grapevine, that he made quite a name for himself in Mukuro’s army. The ferry girl told him he should be proud. As derisive as his next remarks had been, Hiei softened considerably, and Botan felt a small victory at having engaged him. After that, she decided to seek him out more, and sometimes he stumbled onto her. It was better than leaving him to brood in a corner.

These past seven months had been unplanned, but she was happy. Hiei opened up to her so much. They fought like cats and dogs in the beginning, and Botan would never forget all he said that made her kick him out. Still, as in normal Hiei fashion, he came back and pulled through where it really counted. She didn’t know what the future would hold for them, but she wasn’t terrified over the thought of Hiei leaving their son. Botan believed they were beyond that point now, or at least she hoped so. He seemed just as excited as she was that the baby was becoming a little person inside of her.

She received a bunch of rough kicks, rubbed a hand on her stomach, and laughed. “Hey, settle down now,” she chided, and surprisingly the little one stopped. It seemed he could hear her and, as Hiei said, he was aware of everything going on. What was exciting was that she was entering her third trimester. Only two months left, and Botan would finally get to see her precious child. She couldn’t wait!

Of course, she was also excited that all of this pain would go away. Her sciatica had been killing her, and she had this awful, tingling leg pain. Her feet were swollen no matter how much she put them up. She still didn’t sleep much; her little one sometimes kicked too much or not at all. Botan would have worried in the moments where he completely ceased movement if it wasn’t for Hiei reassuring her that the boy was fine. Now that the baby shifted to get ready for his big day, he was pressed against her spine, and she fell this tingling numbness and sometimes sharp shooting pain. It was intense sometimes, and Botan hoped her son might shift again, but it was possible she was stuck with this pain until the day of his birth.

That’s why Botan was currently lying on a heating pad. She did her stretches to try to alleviate the discomfort, and now she was resting. Her book suggested bedrest, but she knew she’d get stir crazy. She was keeping this pain secret from Hiei, knowing he’d become even more protective. She didn’t mind it, but she didn’t him want to be cooped up either or prevent him from training. It was a part of him, and she didn’t want to come in between all of that.

A knock on the door pulled Botan out of her thoughts. She looked over before she released a deep sigh at the thought of exerting herself to get up. Using the table, she pushed out of her chair. Her mind went back to Hiei’s words before he left, to be cautious and not to let anyone know she was there. Botan stayed quiet and moved to look through the peep hole. When she saw familiar, red hair, she let out a relieved chuckle and opened the door. “Kurama, hey,” she greeted warmly.

The redhead smiled at her and came in. He looked her up and down, his expression soft. “You look well.”

Botan nodded. “I am.”

“I haven’t seen you since the attack,” he reminded her.

“Yes, well…” Botan murmured guiltily. “As you can see, I am right as rain. So, what brings you by?”

“Hiei,” he told her with a grin when he saw her eyes widen. “He wasn’t comfortable leaving you on your own and asked me to come. Besides, I haven’t spoken to you much since the day I brought you to see Yukina. I see things have become much better between you two.”

“Yeah,” Botan remarked, thinking back fondly on all the time she’d spent with the fire demon. Between that and her pregnancy, she had been neglecting her other friends. “Sorry about that. This has all just been a whirlwind.”

Kurama waved her off. “There’s nothing for which you need to apologize, Botan. We all understand. It’s not easy being pregnant, and we all know how temperamental Hiei can be.”

She offered him a shy smile. The way Kurama spoke indicated that he knew something she did not. “Not to pry or break confidences, but has Hiei said anything about me…us?”

Kurama motioned for her to sit, and the two got comfortable on the couch. “Not in so many words,” he admitted, “but the fact that he contacted me today shows that he is thinking about you and the baby. I don’t know what is going on with you both, but I’ll admit to you what I said to him. I’ve always seen a spark between you two, and the fact that you’ve found your way into this ordeal together has only brought you closer.”

Botan nodded, but she couldn’t help but get herself lost into a fleeting feeling of doubt. “In any case,” Kurama interjected, stopping Botan’s thoughts from taking over before they began, “the two of you just need to be patient with yourselves and each other. No decisions on a future need to be made now. All you both need to worry about is the little one you’re brining into the world.”

“You’re right, of course,” Botan replied, feeling a bit lighter. “So, would you like to do something? I don’t really have much for lunch save some of the few things I can stomach, although we did make some steak with strawberry jelly last night. It’s to die for!”

Kurama chuckled but shook his head. “That’s quite all right. You keep that. I was planning to take you to lunch, anyway. I figured we could also stop by the hospital in case you needed to sign up for a childbirth class.”

“Oh, there’s no need to do that,” Botan assured him. “Hiei and I already took care of signing up for classes a little bit ago. We have a bunch scheduled.”

Although Kurama knew Hiei was starting to take his roles more seriously, he hadn’t expected it to extend to all the classes the hospital offered for new parents. If his friend was planning to participate, it meant that he was slowly coming to terms with the future that awaited him. It seemed he was starting to accept that he would be a father, and his child would need him. Kurama wouldn’t mention it to the fire demon, though, knowing that it could backfire. Instead, he’d simply act as support to the both of them.

“Alright then,” he replied warmly. “Then how about I take you to the mall instead?”

“That sounds like a plan,” Botan chimed. “Just let me get changed.”

Botan left Kurama alone for the moment and shut herself into her room. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought that Hiei sent someone to look after her. She was used to the fire demon’s constant training, but since their day at Genkai’s he was starting to train even more. The ferry girl knew it had to do with the attack, and it warmed her heart that he was still thinking of her even when he wasn’t physically there. He wanted her and their son to be safe, but he also wanted to make sure she wasn’t left to deal with her own mind for too long.

“That father of yours…” she said, rubbing the swell of her belly. “He sure is something.”

A fond smile found its way to her lips.

It was another day in Spirit World, Koenma dealing with paperwork upon paperwork. A sigh escaped the prince. Things were usually hectic, but ever since unifying the worlds, it was even more crazed. Thankfully, it was due to all the positive changes and reworking the current system. After all, there was so much Koenma needed to look into from his father’s rule. There were still some disgruntled beings, although none were nearly as extreme as the group Yusuke and the others stopped back when the change first happened. That could have been a real disaster.

Part of the increased workload actually had to do with the ferry girls. Ayame was doing a great job with all of the new recruits in Botan’s stead, but the whole slew of girls were looking forward to when the chief ferry girl would return. Koenma had to admit that he missed her as well. As much as he complained to everyone else, Botan was really the only one patient enough who understood it all. When it came to Yusuke after his transformation, the two of them were on the same page.

It was why Koenma was initially worried about her pregnancy. Yes, her spirit form was troubling, but there was still so much prejudice in all of the worlds regarding demons and Spirit World. In Human World, where no one really knew Botan, she’d be safe, but among her peers it would be difficult. Even the Spirit World doctor started passing judgment on Botan despite not knowing her or the situation all that well. Even if Botan didn’t know who the father was, it didn’t matter. It didn’t erase all the good she did for the world, and it certainly didn’t make her any less of his best friend.

“Hello, Koenma.”

The Spirit World prince froze at the sound of a strong, feminine voice causing the Mafuken to fall gracelessly from his lips. It was familiar, and Koenma knew that something big was going on if the woman came to visit him. “Um…Lady Mukuro,” he greeted awkwardly. “What on Earth brings you here?”

Mukuro merely smirked at the prince, probably amused over the fact that he seemed so intimidated by her mere presence. Truthfully, the woman’s reputation preceded her, and Koenma did not want to make it on any of the kings’ bad side during this transitionary period. “Just that,” she said, baffling the prince further. “It was brought to my attention that one of your ferry girls was attacked in the Human World. She is carrying a half-demon child.”

Koenma didn’t even need to ask. His expression contorted to one of horror, and the blue ogre entering the room was completely unaware of it all.

“Lord Koenma, I brought your lunch!” George declared proudly.

“How can you think about lunch at a time like this?” Koenma practically hissed, leaving Jorge stunned. “Can’t you see I’m in an important meeting? Make yourself useful and guard the door!”

“Right away, Koenma, sir!” Jorge yelled back. He frantically fled the room and slammed the door behind him as Koenma took in a deep breath before he met the demon king’s gaze.

He looked completely displeased.

“Tell me everything. For starters, are Botan and the baby okay?”

A genuine smile appeared on Mukuro’s face, and she helped herself to the seat across from Koenma’s desk. “From what I hear, she’s fine. Hiei is with her.”

It was yet another simple statement, but it caused bewilderment to rise up in the prince. He couldn’t help but wonder how Hiei and Mukuro came to be wrapped up in all of this, but he had to admit it relieved him to know that Botan was protected. Still, one thing didn’t sit well with him.

Why had no one contacted him about the attack?

Lounging on the couch, eating grapes, Botan found herself reading a magazine. She was lying down, thankful for the warm body acting as her pillow. As much as she enjoyed spending the day with Kurama, Botan was elated when she came home to find that Hiei returned. The two had dinner, Botan surprised that Hiei cooked a whole bunch of food while she was out. The smorgasbord consisted of all the iron-rich foods she, and more importantly their baby, needed: chicken, beef, and tofu all mixed together with beans and spinach. It was so surreal, but she caught herself thinking that they almost seemed like an ordinary couple, even as they ate in complete silence.

As the evening passed, the two decided to relax. Botan was reading the fashion magazine she liked while Hiei simply sat and meditated. His arm rested against Botan’s baby bump as she nuzzled her head against his side. His presence was comforting to her as much as hers was to him. This peace helped Botan keep herself from focusing on another body-blemishing, melasma side effect that she noticed early that morning. Nope, she wasn’t going to focus on that one bit.

Botan tossed the magazine aside and tilted her head upward, her eyes on Hiei’s face. His chiseled features and expression of deep concentration just made her love all the more handsome. The ferry girl had to resist the urge to run her hand through his hair and close the wide gap between them.

As if sensing Botan’s attention on him, Hiei’s eyes opened and traveled downward to meet hers. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from being caught ogling him. If Hiei took notice, he didn’t say anything. “Something you need?”

The soft way he asked it caused Botan’s heart to beat rapidly. She was feeling that familiar pull of attraction, but now definitely wasn’t the time where she was going to admit that what she needed was him to take her right there on the couch.

Oh goodness, Botan thought to herself as she became even more tomato-red. She still couldn’t get used to these raging hormones or the uncouth thoughts that came with them.

“Botan?”

“Um…ah…” Botan stammered nervous before she blurted out the most random thing to come to mind. “Do you know what your Rh factor is?”

Crimson saucers blinked once before Hiei’s cringed in confusion. “My what?”

“The, uh Rh thing that the book mentioned,” Botan murmured. “I don’t know mine. Do you think we have to worry?”

Botan felt even more embarrassed the more Hiei looked at her with this perplexed look on his face. She had to admit that this was not the most graceful save she ever made. The way he stared at her was not making any of this any more bearable.

“I don’t think we need to worry about that,” Hiei assured her. “The witch said that condition doesn’t normally affect the first child you have. Don’t you remember she was telling you about getting tested soon, anyway?”

“Pregnancy brain?” Botan tried, but she could tell Hiei didn’t seem convinced. She then had a genuine thought about the baby, one that her guide told her about that she was uncertain of. “Um…what about breastfeeding? Do you think I should do it?”

Hiei finally seemed to relax, and his expression softened. Honestly, his guidebook mentioned something about the concerns women had about this very debate. On the one hand, from a health standpoint it made the most sense. At the same time, other mothers did not breastfeed. Either way, many of these women were shamed, and his guide suggested reassuring the woman and supporting her whichever way she decided to go. “Honestly, I don’t have a say in this,” he replied. “It’s up to you.”

Botan relaxed slightly and shook her head. “I know the health aspect, that I’d be giving him immunities, but I don’t really have any immunities to give. I’ve only ever gotten the flu shot, and I’ve never really gotten much of a cold in this form. I also don’t know what will happen once I transition back to spirit form again…if I’d even been able to... But then I think about what others might think, and I get nervous about my decision.”

“It really is not that big of a deal how you decide to feed the boy,” Hiei remarked, “and if not breastfeeding is the way you want to go to put your mind at ease about everything you just said, then you shouldn’t care what strangers, who you’ve never met, and most likely will never meet, think.”

Botan was about to reply to thank Hiei for his support, but at that moment there was a knock on the door. The two exchanged glances. “Are you expecting someone?” Botan asked lightly. Hiei shook his head. “Hm…that’s odd.”

The ferry girl moved to get up from her spot on the couch, and Hiei quickly grabbed her wrist, his hand shooting towards hers. Botan looked down at their entwined appendages and said to him, “It’s all right. I’ll be fine. I won’t open the door unless I know who it is.”

“Hn,” the fire demon grunted and released his hold.

Cautiously, Botan went to the door and looked out the peephole. Her mouth dropped open in surprise, and Hiei got ready to attack. When a big smile lit up the woman’s face, the demon relaxed and watched as she opened the door, revealing the Spirit World ruler.

“Koenma,” Botan chimed happily. “It’s so wonderful to see you. What are you doing here?”

But then, Botan noticed that Koenma was looking at her with critical features, scanning her body for something. His eyes then landed on her large swell, and his gaze softened. “I’m so glad you and the baby are okay,” he told her, shocking her.

“W-what are you talking about?” Botan asked, letting the man inside. “Why wouldn’t we b—?”

“Lady Mukuro came to see me today,” he explained. Brown eyes cut over to the stoic Hiei. His eyes then returned to Botan’s. He could tell that she was a bit hesitant. “She told me about the attempt on your life. Why didn’t you contact me?” Once again, his attention was on Hiei. “And not that I’m not grateful, but why have you been hanging around Human World? Mukuro implied that you were the one who intercepted the attack, but how did you even get involved?”

Hiei and Botan exchanged glances, Hiei’s more stoic that Botan’s completely concerned expression. The fire demon then met the prince’s gaze, pointedly stating, “I am the baby’s father.”

Koenma appeared completely baffled when he heard the admission. “R-really?” the prince stammered, looking to the ferry girl. “H-how? I though you said…”

Botan smiled, quite happy that Hiei decided to tell her boss the truth. After all, they weren’t really hiding it anymore, and there was really no reason to keep Koenma in the dark. Besides, it would explain quite a bit. “Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll tell you everything.”

So, Koenma did just that, completely curious to how the two completely opposite members of the old team got together. Botan explained her crazy drinking game idea, to which Koenma noticed Hiei grimace. Still, as quiet as Hiei was, he didn’t seem bothered with Botan discussing it. He would not look at them, his gaze firmly off to the side of the couch with one of his legs resting on the other and his arms crossed. He was clearly uncomfortable, but he made no attempt to stop the woman from spilling her guts.

Of course, Koenma wasn’t privy to all the downs they had. Botan made sure to keep them out. What she did voice was her concerns of not having a truly paid job to provide for the child or how she and Hiei were going to handle co-parenting on top of their responsibilities.

“You shouldn’t worry about that,” Koenma told her. Botan grew silent, and Hiei finally shifted his attention to the man. “You know I’ll work with you both. After all, you’ve both done quite a bit for Spirit World and really all the worlds.” Hiei snorted in derision, finding that statement to be a joke. He never did anything for Spirit World by choice, at least not in the beginning. “Look, I agree that we still need you, but we can arrange for you to take time off. You can work a few months, then be off a few months, and switch off if you need. But you never have to worry about what you’ll do. You have my full support.”

“Really?” Botan asked, feeling a huge weight fall off her shoulders. She offered a serene grin. “Honestly, that means a lot. I’ve been really stressed out about it all this time.”

Koenma looked at Hiei who hadn’t taken his gaze off of him. “I’m sure you can work something out, as well, if you need to. As chaotic as everything has been, we’re quite flexible, so if you need more time in Demon World, we can work around it.”

Hiei didn’t respond but gave a curt nod. The fire demon then shifted his attention to Botan and said, “We’ll work it out.”

Botan agreed, “We will.”

And, just like that, one of their biggest concerns had been solved!

“I just have one thing left to say to you, Hiei.”

Hiei gritted his teeth in his irritation. “What?”

Surprisingly, Koenma simply grinned and said, “I just wanted to offer you my sincerest congratulations. I never would have guessed, but I’m really happy for you both.”

The fire demon didn’t know what to do with that, so he graced the prince with another nod as his way to accept the felicitations.

By the end of the week, Hiei had a trip planned. Now that everyone of importance knew, the fire demon swallowed his pride and rallied the guys, including Koenma, to help him with the whole trip thing. Koenma, surprisingly, offered to pay for the trip, pointedly indicating that he didn’t want Hiei to use any ‘alternative means’ for currency. Hiei bit down a retort and just accepted the offer. Besides, it didn’t matter how they were going about this. He just wanted Botan to stay as relaxed as possible.

When he presented the idea to Botan, he worded it as, “I need a few days away.”

In hindsight, he shouldn’t have said it that way for he noted the way Botan’s expression dropped. “Oh,” she sadly murmured. “Well, all right then. Be careful.”

The fire demon’s brow quirked before he thought back over his words and realized how she must have taken it. His expression softened. “You misunderstood. You’re going with me.”

Botan perked up at that, and her mood shifted immediately to that of happiness and excitement. “Where are we going? Is it just a day trip? Are we going camping? To Genkai’s? Oh, what about—?”

“You’ll see when we get there,” Hiei responded, rolling her suitcase over to her. She beamed brightly at him, and Hiei allowed himself to experience the way his insides twisted in response to her joy. Where it was a bit overwhelming, it wasn’t the most unpleasant thing he ever felt.

In just a half hour, Botan and Hiei found themselves at the train station. The ferry girl was surprised to be there considering they were headed to a different train than the one that normally took them to Genkai’s. When Botan asked Hiei, he simply said he didn’t want to fly in a plane. Botan’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. It sounded like Hiei was planning on going somewhere far away, a real trip instead of a mini vacation.

Her heart swelled a little more than it should have from the thought of it.

Everything was business as usual until an overly friendly stranger set his sights on Botan. It was the man checking the cars and tickets. After his rounds, he came back over to them and brought Botan a bottle of water. Hiei eyed him distrustfully, considering that the water could be poisoned or something. Botan didn’t seem to worried, and she thanked the man who only offered his congratulations to the two of them.

Botan opened the water; the cap gave a distinctive snap. Hiei relaxed. The woman noticed Hiei glaring before he averted his eyes. “What is it?” she asked him.

Hiei answered with a shrug and set his gaze out the window. He didn’t know what came over him in that moment. Since the night of the attack, the protectiveness he felt over the woman skyrocketed. He didn’t trust that someone wouldn’t try to harm her or their child. Still, it was just a human. There was no way he would have been able to try anything. Besides, once Hiei heard the snap from the bottle, he relaxed knowing it had not been open prior. The woman was safe.

And yet, Hiei knew that this edginess he felt probably wouldn’t leave him during the entirety of the trip. That hadn’t been something he accounted for when he decided to vacation from the apartment.

Hindsight.

Awe could not even begin to describe the look on Botan’s face as she looked up at the huge resort they stood in front of. They were on the side of a mountain in a remote area of Japan, and the view was beautiful. Even better, it was a spa resort. Botan was completely surprised. When Hiei said he needed time away, she didn’t think they were actually going on a real vacation. Never had she been on one of those, especially in the most recent years.

Hiei didn’t know how he felt about this place. Looking around, he was reminded of the hotel they resided in during the Dark Tournament. There were far less rich bastards like the ones who bet on their lives. Still, Hiei didn’t like the volume of human customers and workers. He had to force down his displeasure. This wasn’t for him. It was for Botan.

It was better to let Botan handle the people, and that’s why he was off waiting for her to check in. Her bubbly nature and disposition were useful in this case. From where he was standing, the woman checking them in seemed to be taken in by Botan’s jovial personality. The woman even gave the ferry girl some gift bag of sorts and waved her off. Botan returned to him with a huge smile on her face.

“Everyone is so nice here,” she chimed. “The check-in lady was such a sweetheart. She gave me a bag of free samples and snacks. When I told her where we were from, she said she knew the trip was long.”

Hiei’s eyes widened before he sneered. “You told her where you live? Are you—?”

“No, not where we live,” Botan assured him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “Just the city. I’m not that much of a blabbermouth.”

Hiei snorted and crossed his arms. “Hn, couldn’t have fooled me.”

Botan was about to counter the fire demon’s claim when a middle-aged woman approached them. “Oh, you must be having a boy,” she declared randomly before she nodded to herself. Botan turned to face her. “Yes, definitely a boy.”

The ferry girl smiled at the woman. “Yes, we are. How could you tell?”

“Well, you’re just so fat, so it must be a boy.”

A gasp escaped Botan as her expression immediately fell. She had done a good job of avoiding those thoughts. Even Hiei’s countenance changed; his arms dropped, and his fists clenched. Just who did this human think she was to say something so demeaning to the woman? His eyes travelled to Botan’s devastated form. His energy rose from seeing Botan so upset.

Hiei turned his attention towards the stranger and glowered menacingly. The look in his eyes seemed to have its desired effect, terrifying the horrid woman. Then, he led Botan away, and once they were out of earshot, he told her quietly, “Don’t even give it any thought.” Botan’s shoulders slumped as she looked over at him. “We’re here to relax. Do not let the words of an ignorant woman offend you.”

“B-but I…”

Hiei stopped her, lightly pressed her to the wall, and kissed her. Botan’s eyes widened in shock. Hiei wasn’t one for public displays of affection to begin with, but he was—

He pulled away after a moment and said in a breathy whisper. “Now, what would you like to do first?”

The rest of the day passed without much more of an incident. They went to an attached restaurant for lunch; Hiei had a couple of drinks to quell his rage from earlier, and Botan ate plenty of food that the baby was craving. There were plenty of places to go, and the spa was well equipped. Botan dragged Hiei along to get a facial. It was a bit irritating for the fire demon. Still, Botan wanted him close by, especially because the words of the woman from earlier still got to her. It was bad enough he indulged at home, but around strangers he already despised, it was more of a challenge.

Hiei tried to ignore the fact that he just thought of anywhere besides Demon World being his home.

Later, the two were scheduled for a couple’s massage. It had been the idiot detective’s idea. The idea of the woman being alone with a stranger didn’t sit well with Hiei anyway. What bothered him more was that when the two of them arrived at their appointment, there was a male masseuse and another woman that entered.

The man was the one who specialized with massages for pregnant women. He was openly flirting with Botan in front of Hiei, causing the fire demon to burn with anger, but Botan was too naïve and innocent. The man was eating it up as he was discussed with her which areas he was to focus on and the type of pressure she wanted. Hiei’s gaze remained on them for the entire conversation, and the demon grew increasingly irritated with the way the man was flirting with his…whatever Botan was to him. He didn’t care when the man started guiding her to the table, hand on the small of her back. Botan flinched when she was touched, and that set Hiei over the edge.

“Switch,” he snapped, causing everyone in the room to look at him.

The woman who entered grew a bit nervous. “I have less experience working with pregnant women,” she hesitated.

“Can you do it?” Hiei asked coldly, again. The woman nodded. “Then switch.”

Botan was perplexed, but she shrugged it off and started chattering with the woman while Hiei and the male masseur exchanged glances, the man startled when Hiei glared at him.

As they were going through the massage, Hiei knew that at least Botan was enjoying herself by her little hums and giggles. He nearly smiled until he realized the other man in the room’s attention was on her. Hiei didn’t have to use the Jagan to know what he was thinking, but he did anyway and immediately regretted it after seeing the depraved ideas the sicko thought about his woman.

In retaliation, Hiei focused his energy to the spots on his body where the man’s fingers met his skin. The man was burned slightly, cried out lowly, but still earned Botan’s and the female masseuse’s attention. Botan used her arms to lift herself up just a bit, concern in her eyes. “Is everything all right?”

Hiei smirked and replied, “It is,” mentally reveling in how good revenge could be. Every so often, he made sure to repeat his actions, giving the man a shock.

After the massage, Botan finally decided to question Hiei on his bizarre behavior in the massage room. “I don’t get it. Why did you snap at them? I didn’t mind the switching, but why…? And what was going on later? Why did he keep yelping?”

Hiei thought it best not to answer Botan’s later wonderings. Instead, he answered the first part of curiosity. Besides, the woman needed to know so she could be more aware in the future. “That man was interested in you.” Botan’s brows furrowed as if she didn’t understand. “Flirting with you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Botan replied. “He was just being friendly is all.”

“You don’t know what he was thinking,” Hiei remarked, adamant that she understand. “Not everyone’s intentions are good, and his thoughts were far from pure.”

Botan threw her hand over her mouth and gasped. She looked at Hiei, horror-stricken and mortified. “Are you sure?” Hiei gave a curt nod. The fire demon was then surprised when Botan took his hand and started leading him in a direction opposite their room.

“Woman, where are you dragging me?” he hissed, not at all amused. He just wanted to go back to their room.

“To report him, of course,” Botan dictated. She looked ahead of her, a determined glint to her eyes. “It’s not a good thing that he was behaving that way. It’s downright dirty. Besides, it’s obvious I’m with you.”

Hiei was stunned by her conviction, but he already realized and started to come to terms with the fact that they had fallen into some sort of relationship. The woman must have felt that way, also, and in a way she was trying to stand up for it. Hiei did so by demanding the switch and then by making the bastard pay for the disgusting thoughts he had about the woman carrying his child. Now, Botan wanted to make sure that the man couldn’t do it again. She wasn’t going to let anyone get away with disrespecting either of them.

With that, Hiei ceased all protests as she pulled him alongside her.

Chapter Text

Hiei woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as he pulled himself out of a nightmare.

It took the fire demon a moment to remember where he was, but less time than usual. Actually, it had been a while since he had any dreams at all. The last was when his and Botan’s child reached out to them. Nightmares took a back seat as of late, but tonight his mind was making a comeback.

In this dream, Botan came to him in Demon World, her eyes full of fear. He could still hear himself ask her what was wrong. “Please, please don’t kill me,” she begged.

“Why would I kill you?”

“B-because,” the ferry girl stammered, “I’m pregnant.”

Even in the dream, Hiei was shocked. He could see himself reaching out to her, attempting to approach her to reassure her. The demon tried to remind her that he already knew she was pregnant and that there was no sense in worrying about it now. Tears welled up in Botan’s eyes; the woman cried and looked at him fearfully. She held her hands out, begged for her life with a simple, “Please!”

Her screams woke him. After a few gasps of air, Hiei threw himself back on the mattress and wiped the sweat from his brow. He glanced over at the sleeping woman beside him, relieved he didn’t wake her. Botan was snoozing peacefully for once, curled up into his side. Her soft smile caught his attention. She looked much different from the image in his nightmare.

Gently, the fire demon caressed her face, entwining his finger around a strand of her hair. Botan sleepily cooed out words, mumbling quietly, “I love you.”

Hiei breathed out a thankful sigh, feeling only a tinge calmer. The woman’s tranquil expression contrasted the horrified manner in which he just saw her in his mind. Unfortunately, Hiei found himself feeding into the nightmare. He wondered if Botan ever thought the way she seemed to in his nightmare, but then he remembered her eagerness to tell him from the very start. He knew that the woman never feared him like her illusionary counterpart, well not about the baby at least. Their past was a different story. This…he was able to chalk this up to just being a nonsensical, bad dream.

Still, it left him feeling unsettled, so he carefully disentangled himself from Botan and left the room. He headed to the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

Everyone had been over for dinner earlier in the week. Yusuke and Keiko prepared the meal at the apartment, and Kuwabara brought a case of that good beer he gave Hiei at their impromptu, unspoken visit.

Hiei took a large gulp and allowed the combination of sweet and heat to wash over his tongue. The effects of downing a bottle on an empty stomach caused the buzz he needed. He grabbed another knowing that no matter how much he drank, he wouldn’t get wasted. It was only human alcohol, after all.

As soon as the thought hit, Hiei remembered that it was Human World alcohol that landed him in his current situation, and his expression soured. Of course, he had long since accepted his new lot in life. He just didn’t know what would happen, and the uncertainty that crept into his core left him as unsettled as the horrid dream he’d just experienced.

Hiei downed the second bottle anyway, hoping to silence any reflective thoughts from taking root in his mind. He couldn’t allow himself to go back. He had come much too far…although deep down he feared regressing in some way, the feeling of running slipping past his guard.

Growling at himself, Hiei went for a third bottle, hoping the third one would silence his treacherous thoughts.

Botan couldn’t hide the grin on her face as she and Hiei read the contents of her book. As it turned out, she had something in common with her baby. “Your baby may begin to smile this week, especially during sleep.”

As if on cue, little taps in a usual rhythm distracted her. As she rubbed her tummy in attempts to settle her baby, Hiei’s brow furrowed. “Hiccups again?” he asked, seemingly perturbed by the notion.

Botan blinked at her demon lover but then smiled, silently wondering if demons even got hiccups. Spirits certainly didn’t, but humans did. The ferry girl still remembered the first time she had hiccups ever, and she could also remember the first time she had them around Hiei. She had been embarrassed, but Hiei had been worried. He thought she was yelping in pain. It was kind of surreal to see how much the normally stoic fire demon seemed to worry for her safety. Botan never felt this safe before in her entire life.

“It’s just a thing,” Botan reminded him. “To be honest, it feels like he’s tapping. He’ll settle down once they stop.”

Hiei’s expression darkened, as his eyes moved down to her large swell. Botan seemed completely oblivious to the slight elevation in energy that accompanied these hiccup spells. He worried the heat would be enough to make the woman sick like in the very beginning, but she was right that the boy normally settled when the weird contractions ended. Hiei tried to do more research on this hiccup thing, getting used to using the infernal, human contraption of a laptop. It seemed that no one knew what caused them or how to stop them. They were supposedly just mild discomforts, but still… Hiei would be angered if there was something that happened to his own body that he didn’t understand.

Dealing with puberty alone had been a bitch.

A light laugh cut through his bitter thoughts of the past. Hiei peered at the woman, eyes settled on the book. His eyes roved the contents, but he did not see anything at all humorous on the page. The book told them that their child was growing, ‘plumping up’ as they called it, and becoming close to what his full size would be when he was born.

“It’s funny that this book just knows,” Botan pondered. “His hard kicks really are starting to feel more like jabs and pokes. I think this little guy will be ready to train before we know it.”

It wasn’t the first time Botan made a comment like that, but Hiei certainly still felt a twang inside of him. His gaze fell on the woman, stoic as ever, but there was a flurry of emotion happening beneath the surface. “And you’d be fine with that,” he stated, though they both knew it was more of a question.

“Of course I would be,” Botan reassured, a bright, yet teasing grin on her face. “It might actually convince you to take more breaks!”

“Hn,” Hiei scoffed, though there was hardly any heat behind his gruffness. He leaned back and looked at the pages, reading all the information about how big the child was getting, the baby fat he was accumulating, the wrinkles lessening, and even how often the boy would be kicking. It was just two months until his birth, and their son was becoming stronger and more active. The book suggested doing a kick count twice a day…just to make sure he was okay. Although the comment was geared towards the ferry girl, Hiei made a mental note of it, but he knew he’d be counting more kicks than ten in an hour. The woman was right. Their son was active, always vying for attention.

Hiei grimaced. Was the boy already trying to take his focus knowing he wouldn’t always have it in the future? Was he already inadequate as a father?

“Mm,” Botan groaned quietly, her eyes clenched shut. Hiei quickly shut down what he was thinking of to help her.

“What’s wrong?”

Botan opened her eyes and weakly smiled. “Nothing exactly,” she tried to appease. “Just in a little bit of pain. I’ve been getting random migraines today.”

Hiei’s expression remained solemn as he took the book and flipped to the ‘Symptoms’ sections. Lo and behold, migraines were something the woman would be experiencing along with constipation, hemorrhoids, heartburn, all partnered with ‘pregnancy brain’, an ongoing side-effect that made it next to impossible to think or remember her train of thought.

He put the book down and moved to take Botan’s hand. She looked at his extended hand questioningly before meeting his eyes with her baffled gaze. “Come on,” he impatiently huffed. “It said you should be lying down in a dark room.”

Botan blushed a rosy shade as she took Hiei’s hand. The fire demon noticed and wondered why the woman was acting so timid out of nowhere. His answer came when Botan pulled him by his hand, towards her, and kissed him. It was a random, sporadic moment that the fire demon had not expected. His widened eyes said as much, but the ferry girl wouldn’t have seen with her eyes closed, putting all of her energy into the kiss.

And then, it ended, and she pulled away, looking fully embarrassed. “Um…I’ll go lie down now.”

Hiei blinked, reluctant to let the woman go as she pulled her hand away from him. “Botan…”

The ferry girl just turned and smiled sheepishly. He saw a glint in her eyes, the one she usually said when she made her declarations of her feelings. This time was no different, her voice filled with conviction. “We love you.”

Then, she disappeared into the hall, leaving Hiei alone with even more strange and overwhelming thoughts. But he couldn’t focus on that now. He knew the day had a different version of hellish events he’d have to endure.

When the woman felt better, that was when it would begin.

“Why did we come all the way out to Genkai’s today?” Botan asked as Hiei helped her up the stairs. The woman was huffing, trying to catch her breath when they reached the top. “Not that I don’t love visiting, but this is starting to become difficult.”

Hiei didn’t respond. There wasn’t much he could say right now. Honestly, he wondered the same thing. “Yukina invited us for lunch,” he settled on for an answer.

Botan’s discomfort seemed completely forgotten as the biggest grin appeared on her face. “Oh, isn’t that sweet of her. When did you talk to her, though? I didn’t think you ever answered the phone when she called.”

Impassivity was a demeanor Hiei was thankful he possessed. If not for that, this endeavor would be fruitless. Still, he didn’t know why he just couldn’t be direct, why the others insisted on secrecy.

The two walked up to the temple together, and Hiei fell back as Botan went inside. As expected, no one was there, and as usual, Botan went out back to see if Yukina was working in the garden. Botan was floored by what she actually saw.

“Surprise!”

Tears immediately filled Botan’s eyes; her hand covered her mouth. Hiei grew alarmed only until the ferry girl laughed and wiped those drops away. “You guys,” she murmured fondly under her breath. She looked at them all, her eyes closed in a smile. “Did you really do all of this for us?”

“You know it, reaper,” Yusuke chimed as he moved to hug his friend first. “We’ve been planning for a while, but the full credit goes to Yukina. She suggested a lot.”

Botan smiled and went to her baby’s aunt to give her a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered to the maiden.

“Of course,” Yukina laughed lightly before she added lowly, “He’s my nephew, after all.” The women exchanged conspiring glances, still keeping the baby’s gender a secret from everyone else.

Kurama walked up and gently tapped Botan on the shoulder, stealing the ferry girl’s attention. He smiled apologetically for distracting her before he handed her a large basket of items for the baby including story books, blankets, and clothes. “This is all from my family and from Hanako as well,” he told her. “Hanako sends her apologies for not being able to attend, but she was needed in delivery.”

“I understand. This is so unbelievably sweet of all of you,” Botan replied and she tried to take the gift, but nearly dropped it, not expecting her baby bump to get in the way. “Goodness.”

Hiei managed to grab onto the basket and nearly slammed it down onto a table beside them. “Hn, fox,” he muttered a greeting.

Kurama looked towards his friend, an amused and knowing glint alighting his eyes as per usual. “Why, hello, Hiei. I’m glad you were able to make an appearance as well.”

“Whatever,” Hiei scoffed with crossed arms. He looked away, though he regarded Botan with an expression Kurama couldn’t quite place. It was full of impatience but seemed like he was silent requesting something.

Botan answered that look, her amethyst eyes filled with gratitude. “I really had no idea,” Botan murmured fondly. “Thank you for the wonderful surprise.”

“I didn’t plan it,” Hiei replied curtly.

“But you went along with it, and I appreciate it,” Botan remarked. “Why don’t you go take some food and relax? You’ve already done plenty.”

Hiei’s eyes widened for a moment before his impassive mask returned. Kurama could tell the fire demon was completely caught off-guard by Botan’s thankfulness and praise. Hiei said nothing when he left the two on the porch. He went to quickly say something to his sister before he flitted away and out of sight for the time being.

Botan’s gaze lingered on Hiei until he disappeared. A contented sigh escaped her before her gaze returned to Kurama. He was seemingly studying her, and Botan nearly stumbled back having momentarily forgotten that he was there. “What?”

“It’s nothing,” Kurama assured her, the warmth in his emerald orbs only growing. “It’s just nice to see the two of you like this.”

Baffled, Botan replied, “Like what?”

Kuwabara stepped up and joined them. He gave the ferry girl a sidelong hug. “Like a couple,” the redhead expressed softly. “We know things have been up in the air with you both, but seeing you guys behaving like that…” He didn’t have to even say that he meant ‘like they were the only two in the world’ for Botan to get the picture. “It’s a good thing.”

Botan turned many shades of red and sputtered to form coherent words at being called out like that. “W-we aren’t,” she stammered. “I-I-I mean h-he’s not. What are you talking about? We aren’t a couple.” Her gaze shifted to Kurama, only feeling slightly betrayed, wondering if he said anything to Kuwabara about their talk a while back.

“Maybe not,” Kuwabara answered, “but we’ve noticed something developing for a while.”

“Y-you…?” Botan looked between the two of them feeling a bit perturbed by the notion that she had been so transparent. There was no way they could have determined what she felt for the fire demon. The woman turned pale, wondering if they mentioned it to Hiei. She doubted it, but maybe that’s why he was acting off recently? Of course, there was no way for her to know that the fire demon had been seeking council from Kuwabara or admitting his draw to her to Kurama. No, to her, this was completely mortifying. She was about to plead with them not to say anything to Hiei, afraid she’d somehow chase him off again when another voice interjected in their conversation.

“Hey, boys, stop hogging her!” Shizuru called out, breaking Botan free from the scrutiny of the over-observant and oversensitive members of their group. “We have a party to get under way.”

“Coming, Shizuru!” Botan chimed, her voice a bit frazzled as she excused herself from the boys.

Kuwabara and Kurama watched as Botan joined the girls, and they exchanged a silent, passing glance. Yusuke joined them, and the three men watched the girls taking out a bunch of sheets they could only guess at.

“Alright, let’s play some games,” Keiko suggested happily. The girls went out into the courtyard to sit at the table while the guys chuckled and surveyed the merriment.

Hiei, though going off on his own, took his place in a tree above. As much as this day was for him, Botan, and the child, it did sound tedious from the detective’s description. He was more comfortable keeping to himself and keeping away from his meddlesome former teammates. It didn’t mean he wasn’t taking part in some way. The whole time, he kept watch over the woman, watched the way her expression lit up even over the most ridiculous and nonsensical things. The games were pointless, and even once she opened the presents for the child she gushed over the unneeded, little, bear stuffed animal. Still, he found peace in her contentment and leaned back against the bark as he occasionally cast his crimson gaze in her direction. At least she was enjoying herself. In the end, that was really all that mattered to him.

Yusuke was surprised that Hiei was actually taking part in all of this. When he brought up the possibility of a surprise baby shower, he offered to pick up Botan so that Hiei could do whatever. Despite explain how boring and frivolous it would most likely seem to the fire demon, Hiei managed to render the detective speechless when he said Yusuke’s offer was unneeded. In fact, Hiei already knew about the shower from Yukina and was planning to take Botan. Hiei left the stupefied detective standing outside the apartment building. That had been just a few days ago.

Now, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke were over on the temple deck looking over the festivities. The girls were handing Botan their gifts while Hiei kept watch in background. His attention would shift to Botan when he thought no one was watching, but he had no inkling that he had the attention of his closest friends on him.

“I believe this is a telling sign as to how our bet will end,” Kurama stated knowingly. He and Kuwabara looked to the detective of their group.

“Alright, Urameshi,” Kuwabara smugly spoke, “do you want to pay up now?”

“Hey, come on. Just because he’s here doesn’t mean they’re official or anything. I’ve still got time.”

Both Kuwabara and Kurama chuckled at the answer because they already knew more than Yusuke did. Of course, Yusuke wasn’t blind. He was just playing off his desire to see his friends happy. Come on, Hiei. Make me eat my words.

Deep down, Yusuke was hoping to lose. If he did, that would mean that two hearts would remain intact, and a little baby would grow up with both of his parents. Still, the former bad boy had an image to keep. No one else needed to know his thoughts or the fact that he was carrying the full amount of cash in his wallet, waiting for the moment to give it up.

The shower really had been a tedious endeavor, and Hiei was thankful that it was all over. Since they had all of the big-ticket items, their friends gifted a whole bunch of clothes that the women gushed over and toys that Hiei found pointless. Still, the woman had a good time. For the second time today, Hiei realized that Botan’s cheerfulness was really all that concerned him. It was always a relief to see her in good spirits after seeing her down so many times during the course of this pregnancy.

Botan was in the shower, and Hiei kept his senses stretched out to make sure she was doing fine and not succumbing to another dizzy spell. That left Hiei alone, again, with his own thoughts, and his mind was racing with plenty of them. Now that the antics of the day were over, Hiei couldn’t help but think back to earlier when Botan crossed some boundary that presently had Hiei overthinking once again.

It’s not like they hadn’t kissed before. They had done far more than that, very often now if Hiei was being honest, and where he fell into a complacent and routine rhythm with the woman, her even more innocent action that morning should have had no effect on him.

Hiei shook his head, trying to rid himself of these thoughts. His eyes wandered around his room and landed on his own guidebook, that annoying garbage that had more recently turned gift given by the fox. Back in the past, Hiei despised these human resources, never believing they could hold any insight. Of course, the guide for expecting fathers was more perverse than Hiei could have ever imagined…until he found himself in the midst of an actual relationship. This wasn’t like his casual encounters in Demon World. As he was learning, he couldn’t simply focus on just his aspirations and plans for the future.

He flipped the through the pages to read his advice for the week. There was really nothing else to do to kill time until the woman finished her ungodly long shower.

“Have you been staying up all night thinking about all the things you and your partner won’t be able to do once the baby arrives (seeing the world, taking up exotic hobbies, or even just going out at night whenever the urge hits)? At twenty-nine weeks pregnant, instead of thinking of what you won’t have in your life anymore, start thinking of what you will have: A very special little person to share it with. Will your life be different (your favorite hobby becoming blowing raspberries on that chubby little belly; your late nights involve rocking instead of dancing)? Absolutely. Will it be better? Immeasurably.”

Hiei contemplated the little blurb, especially the part where it said that he and Botan wouldn’t be able to go out. No…they still would, just with the child, unless only one of them could be with the child at the time. It didn’t matter, even if his stomach curled at the idea that it wouldn’t just be the two of them. It was never just the two of them to start. This child was what brought them together. It was all they had between them.

But that wasn’t true. In the past, he had been around Botan often, and if Hiei could recall, that was what began their unlikely relationship. Having this child forced them together, but it was possible that Hiei would have eventually gotten his head out of his ass and made a move. He doubted it.

Still, wasn’t that exactly how they landed themselves in this situation? She may have imposed the drinking challenge, but he never had to agree. He could remember clearly that he made the first move, choosing Botan to spend the night with. The fire demon could have gone anywhere else—there were plenty of demons to choose from at the detective’s wedding—but he wanted her.

Crimson eyes widened as the truth came crashing down upon him. Did he actually want a relationship with the ferry girl?

The woman entered the room, sighing as she slipped into bed beside him. Hiei started to feel claustrophobic the moment she curled up against him, panicking inside as his thoughts raced quicker than his beating core. All this time, he wanted something with the woman and fought against it, despite normally fighting tooth and nail for whatever it was he wanted. He didn’t even know how to be in a relationship. He was selfish and unfeeling…but he had been going out of his way to care for her, and he proved that he did feel other emotions even if he couldn’t understand them or put a name to them.

Quickly, he turned the pages back, back to the section that he ignored at the very beginning of all of this that gave suggestions on how to nurture their relationship. Mentally, Hiei berated himself for being so pathetic, looking to a useless book for advice. Still, the more he adjusted to the pregnancy and became a part of it, the more useful this guide became.

“You may be thinking ‘We’re not even parents yet, but all we talk about is the baby. This pregnancy has taken over our lives, and I’m afraid it’ll hurt our relationship. How do we keep the romance alive and strengthen our relationship during pregnancy?’ Many couples face this but ponder this. What’s the single, most significant relationship you’ll have in your new life as a parent? It’s not only the one you’ll share with your beautiful baby you’ll be bringing home. It’s the one you share — and will continue to share — with your partner, a fact baby-crazed pregnancy couples can be quick to forget.

“After all, eventually babies grow into older children, who grow up more and move out of the house (it happens a lot faster that you can even imagine). But your partner or spouse is with you into old age, with a little luck and a lot of hard work. So, it’s extra important (and challenging) to keep the love alive and maintain a strong relationship during pregnancy.

“That being said, there are sure to be some changes in the dynamics of your twosome once the baby makes three. These shifts and potential strains on a couple’s relationship during a pregnancy are inevitable — because in spite of how little they are, babies tend to make a huge impact on their parents’ lives! But if you play your cards right from the start, they can actually be changes for the better.”

Hiei’s expression grew grave as he read the last part. He hadn’t been in this from the beginning. Honestly, the fact that the woman had forgiven him for his misdeeds still baffled him. The fire demon never wanted a child, never wanted to give into these pesky feelings he clearly had for the ferry girl. Had he read this from the beginning, maybe things would have been different, but the Hiei who existed now and the Hiei who behave so reprehensibly back then were two different people. Had he read this at the time, he probably would have scoffed and burned the book. Instead, he just avoided it.

Still, all hope wasn’t lost. The book did say it was a challenge, and Hiei was never one to back down from a challenge. He continued reading, hoping for some more insight on how to, as the book put it, keep the ‘romance’ alive.

“The first thing you guys will need to do is start thinking of yourself as a couple again.” Well, that part would be difficult. He and Botan had never actually been a couple. “Of course, you’ll want to focus plenty of attention on your pregnancy and on your baby—and you should, as long as you remember to keep your relationship front-and-center rather than on the back burner. Your baby doesn’t have to come between you (though her growing belly definitely will!).”

Bitterness filled Hiei when he acknowledged that his son never came between them. If anything, Hiei had a sneaking suspicion that the boy was trying to play matchmaker in utero. Not even born and the child was already as meddlesome as his mother. If anything had come between him and the ferry girl, it was his own ego and rage towards the situation. That hadn’t been a factor in a long while.

Hiei flipped through the pages with Botan nestled against him, her eyes closed. For that, he was thankful. Not only was she resting, but she wasn’t privy to his embarrassment, turning to a book to figure out what exactly he wanted and what he needed to do to achieve it.

Of course, there was plenty about sex and positions that Hiei quickly avoided. He’d be damned if he was going to read that again. Besides, he and Botan weren’t having any trouble with that aspect of whatever it was that was going on between them. There was also something about a ‘babymoon’. What the hell did that even mean?

Finally, it started getting into what he needed, and, to his credit, Hiei managed to fight down his disgust and displeasure with what he would have once deemed useless frivolities. Never did Hiei ever think that connections were important. He was always a loner, abandoned, and he could only depend on himself. His crimson eyes glanced towards the blue-haired woman, one who seemed to be a constant in his life. She had always just been there, never someone to be considered in his mind. It wasn’t until the two of them crossed paths after all the trials their group faced that she started to stand out.

Back to the book, the suggestions were simple. Scheduling a weekly ‘date night’ was something that could be done, but Hiei didn’t know the first thing about what to do with the woman. Their days consisted of him training and Botan spending time in his company. Sometimes they’d have a picnic lunch or go out. They only did it out of necessity. There was something in there about having date nights at home once the baby was born. What did people do on date nights anyway?

“Be spontaneous. As often as you can, for absolutely no reason at all, surprise your partner with an affectionate touch or kiss, a flirty compliment, or an impromptu jump into bed. Feel free to get frisky and adventurous. Just make sure you keep pregnancy sex safe and fun.”

Hiei was flabbergasted. Looking past the last part, his mind went to Botan’s behavior as of late, her gentle touches or fleeting, surprising kisses. She, of course, had never seen his book. The ferry girl was just acting on her own accord. This made the fire demon wonder if this notion of spontaneity was the reason for Botan’s innocent gestures, the times she’d run her hands through his hair or the times she’d give him a hug in her excitement. As he thought of the pleasant moments, Hiei found his eyes closing a moment, soaking in them, before he snapped back to reality and the task at hand.

They had already been taking time after baby business chores and appointments to grab dinner together. The book directed that it was important to mix relationship pleasure into their lives, to not forget their importance to each other. At least they were doing okay on that front.

Other suggestions included ‘being naughty’. Hiei closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Botan sighed and nuzzled him, her eyes still closed and the ferry girl still unaware as to what the demon was reading. In this blurb, the advice giver suggested leaving random, suggestive messages to one another.

The demon shook his head. No, this bit would just not happen. He didn’t think Botan would ever be that way. The woman was much too shy. He didn’t even know if he could act this way towards her. She wasn’t just a casual hookup like some of the random demons with whom he’d acquainted himself. This woman, as loathe as Hiei was to admit it, was different. He was too focused on trying to hold himself together and not wreck their already shaky relationship. His usual cocky, taunting nature wouldn’t help him here, least of all in the bedroom.

As always with these two guidebooks, the biggest note was talking. Not necessarily about the baby, but communicating their feelings for each other, how happy they are to see and be with one another. It seemed simple enough, but Hiei had a harder time swallowing that than by the idea of blatantly flirting with the woman.

“Be sure to talk through the changes instead of just letting them happen. And keep the lines of communication open even once the baby’s on the scene, when talking uninterrupted will be more challenging but also more crucial than ever.”

And, lastly, the advice that Hiei would have taken the wrong way if the suggestions beneath weren’t given was to get away while they still could, while he still could. He felt anxiety throughout his body; his form tensed, and the feeling of breathing became much harder. Of course, the guide meant more as in a romantic get away, but the fire demon was thinking he was biting off way more than he could chew. Maybe escape should be an option, but he just couldn’t bring himself to flee…not anymore.

Oblivious to Hiei’s conniption, Botan finally opened her eyes and smiled when she saw Hiei reading ever so diligently from his baby guide. He was so dedicated to this and to their son, and that made her happy, although nothing could compare to the happiness she felt when he actually surprised her by bringing her to the baby shower, something she would have never expected from him, ever. It was an experience Botan never thought she would get, and she was thankful. She was glad that they were both winding down for the night. She was exhausted, and she was sure Hiei was as well.

“So, what did you think about all we got from our friends for the baby?” she asked, not noticing the fire demon tense beneath her. “I think we’re just about set with everything, even clothes now.”

“I don’t want to talk about the baby,” Hiei blurted out, almost a bit too harshly. He noticed his tone, and his lips pursed into a straight line as his expression seemed to remain neutral. Inside, though, he felt nothing but chaos. He silently prayed that Botan wouldn’t get upset by his callousness.

The ferry girl was surprised, but she could tell that something was agitating Hiei. He almost looked like he was about to explode, so she decided to go along with what he wanted without taking offence. “Alright, then,” she murmured kindly, her tone soft and patient. “What do you want to talk about?”

Hiei swallowed, unsure of what topic to even broach. All he knew was that his guidebook was directing him not to talk about the child all the time. If he really wanted a relationship with the ferry girl, then he needed to put in some effort into it. If not, things could go wrong, and Hiei had come too far to let that happen. Something struck him, an idea from his book in the past, one where it instructed to talk about past memories, their memories.

He blurted out, “Memories,” confusing the woman. She merely blinked at him in response, and he again had to swallow down his nerves. “Yours.”

Botan couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips. She had no idea why Hiei was acting so strangely, but then when he finally said what he wanted, Botan realized that he was asking to know more about her. She already knew quite a bit about him, but she had always been curious. The fire demon never once expressed this kind of interest in her, and so a bubbling warmth filled her.

So, she decided to humor him and told Hiei random stories about her past. She told him of her time as a ferry girl and how she became Koenma’s chief ferry girl. While doing so, she told him all about her friends and coworkers, eventually shifting to the part of her past she was most fond of, namely the part where she met Yusuke and, by extension, all of them.

Knowing that Hiei knew the majority of it, she decided to talk about the more lighthearted memories, ones that held special places in her heart. The entire time, Hiei stared at her like she was the most foreign thing in the world, completely baffled and mildly annoyed.

“You’re crazy,” Hiei told her, thinking she had to be if she could find anything positive in those horrible cases. “I was your enemy. I hurt you. You were nearly killed by deranged humans. We had the displeasure of dealing with that bastard, Tarukane, and then Toguro forced us into that hellish tournament. There was nothing even remotely redeemable about the Sensui case. Only death. How could you possibly find peace in any of it?”

The woman flashed him a sad smile, tucking a strand of her blue hair behind her ear. “You’re only looking at one side,” she explained. “You may have been our enemy then, but it was the day we met you and that you unwittingly because a part of the team. You may have hurt me then but look at us now. With the Saint Beasts…it was the first case you boys accomplished together. I know Tarukane was probably our least favorite person, and honestly, he deserved what he got, but we found your sister and got her away from him, together.”

She met his crimson eyes, his expression softer but still guarded. At least the angry look in his eyes was gone, but his gaze was still firm with a hint of bewilderment in those irises. “As many horrible memories we had from the Dark Tournament, there were good ones,” she continued as she took his right hand in hers, and her finger tapped above his wrist. “You mastered the Dragon of Darkness Flame, though that was a little scary.” He grunted, and she giggled. “Kurama got to revert to Youko for a time. Kuwabara finally came into his own, and Yusuke…well, not only did he defeat Toguro, but we can’t ever forget about Puu.”

Hiei released a disparaging chuckle, pitying Yusuke for a moment. “You’re ridiculous.” Still, he cracked half a grin in spite of himself, arms crossed as he started to lean back against the pillows.

This new posture didn’t go unnoticed by Botan, and she once again lied down against her demon lover. She smiled up at him and waited until he looked back at her again. When he did, she added softly, “And where the case against Sensui was the worst of it, it led to so much good. Yusuke found out about Raizen, and his transformation and presence in Demon World led to all the changes now. He wouldn’t have been in the position to make the change if none of that happened. None of you would have…” Botan froze, and her eyes grew saddened as she thought about what could have happened to them, but she managed to keep it buried. “Besides, it was also the time when you proved you’d always be there for us, even if you didn’t necessarily want to be.”

Hiei’s eyes softened completely now as he took in her words. “You really do always see the good in everything…” he marveled, awed.

“I do,” Botan replied, her eyes holding a bit of uncharacteristic seriousness in them, “but it doesn’t mean that I ignore all the other parts. They happened. We can’t change them. All we can do is try to move forward from them.” Her hands moved to her rounded belly, his hand with the most dangerous weapon the Makai possessed placed against it. He felt his son kick and gazed at the spot before he met Botan’s brightened visage. “We have to keep doing our part to make these changes so that this little guy will live in a safer time and won’t have to.”

Although Hiei would never admit it aloud, the woman’s words resonated deeply within him. He agreed with her. In a way, they both played big parts in keeping the three worlds balanced. Where Botan did it out of genuine goodness, Hiei did it out of begrudging loyalty to both Mukuro and the detective. The woman in his arms truly desired to help, and because of it, the worlds were already moving in a more positive direction despite the pests of rebels that were out there on all sides.

Still, now that Hiei thought about it, they were actually doing it for someone. The fact that he sired a child with a ferry girl was unexpected, but now that child would be born into the fray. It made it all the more important, this fight for unity. If they played their cards right, their son would be raised in an incredibly more favorable environment than either of them.

He squeezed Botan’s hand before he splayed his fingers out and gently grazed her stomach. His actions caused the woman to gasp and shudder. His open palm rested against her, and their little boy kicked them both. The parents-to-be couldn’t hide their smiles. Hiei quickly shut the light and allowed the ferry girl to nestle comfortably against him, his hand still in contact with their son. Unbeknownst to Botan, Hiei began a ‘kick count’ to check on their son.

One…two…three…

Chapter Text

Another week came and went, and Botan’s due date was fast approaching. In just about ten weeks, a new, little baby would enter the world. That meant that they only had a little over two months to prepare for their son’s birth.

“You both have that delivery date on your mind (most likely marked in red on your calendar),” Hiei read from his guidebook while he sat in the windowsill as Botan napped. His shoulders were lax, his expression neutral as his eyes roved over each word carefully. “Don’t forget she has a much more daunting experience—actually birthing the baby—in her future than you do. Any time there’s an opportunity, help to take her mind off her worries. Get her talking about how exciting the next months will be. Help her wash and put away all the baby clothes people have been giving you. You can even make a date to put the crib together.

“When all else fails, just help her breathe and relax —you’re in this together.”

Hiei closed the book and set it aside. His mind was less tumultuous ever since the previous week, the night he resolved to focus on the possibility of a relationship with the woman. He started to read his book more regularly, hoping for ideas. The guide suggested spending more time with Botan, ‘dating’ as humans would call it. The fire demon didn’t know the first thing about it, but he knew he needed to focus on nurturing their relationship before the baby came.

So, Hiei decided to avoid the topic his book suggested, regarding the crib, for the week, just for a little while. They still had some time before their son would arrive. He mentally promised to bring it up the following week.

Getting ideas was tough. There was a whole section on date night ideas in Botan’s book, so Hiei would covertly procure it whenever Botan was in the shower or resting. He learned about the act of gift giving, something he had done without that intent back when the girls were clothes shopping. His gesture spoke volumes to Botan. She still wore the sweater, and her mood would always lift when she did just because she knew it was from him. Apparently, it was also a romantic gesture to give chocolates and roses. The demon remembered the ferry girl’s reaction when he bought her favorite chocolate bar.

But even the book told him the most important gift was time.

Quality time together was precious, especially when they would soon share their life with a third person. Not only that, but they would be separated at times, too. Yukina’s words returned to him. She had already been steps ahead, warned her brother to make every minute he and the woman were together count. It was better late than never, Hiei supposed.

So, the book suggested plenty of ideas on what to do together during different stages of the pregnancy.

They were already beyond outdoor activities due to the colder weather, but there were some ideas that Hiei knew Botan would like. Playing board games when a movie was on in the background, going on a ‘soda stroll’, or bringing the movie theater to the bedroom were but a few suggestions. The last one seemed like something more manageable. The woman was exhausted, more so lately than any other time. It was a start at least, and Hiei remembered a DVD Botan pointed out, a movie she wanted to see. He could easily ‘acquire’ it. The movie store was just across the street, so he would not have to go far.

Maybe surprises weren’t completely a waste like he formerly thought.

It was evening when Botan decided to stop resting on the couch. She yawned and stretched. Why did it feel like all she did that day was sleep? As her due date drew near, she became more tired, and the second she was up she felt like she needed to lie down again. Well, it was probably time to call it a night, anyway. She mentally deflated and admitted defeat.

Botan headed to her room to change for bed. For a while, Botan had been sleeping in Hiei’s room with him. Occasionally, they stayed in her room, mainly when Hiei tried to make her comfortable, but that was happening less often as she felt comfortable wherever he was. It didn’t matter to her what room she was in as long as she was with him, and she made that overly clear to the fire demon.

Things with Hiei were complicated, but Botan found herself becoming more relaxed and content with how everything progressed between the two of them. There was still so much uncertainty to come. She had plenty of anxiety for the both of them, but being with Hiei made her feel safe, and she wasn’t going to question it. She still didn’t know exactly what they were, and she dared not question the fire demon about it yet. All she knew was that she loved him, and there was no going back from that.

So, Botan was stunned when she entered her room. Instead of it being empty, Hiei was inside. He placed bowls of popcorn down on each night table and even brought drinks. Blue brows furrowed in confusion. What was he doing?

Hiei noticed Botan right away; the smell of her shower soap and her low energy signal alerted him to her presence. He turned and noticed her dazed expression.

Her curiosity got the best of her. “What’s all this?” she asked him. She eyed Hiei as if he were an anomaly. Truth be told, the woman was right to be surprised.

“Movie night,” Hiei grunted out. He then pointed at the DVD on the bed. “You wanted to see this.”

Botan felt so blown away by this unexpected gesture. Her heart burst, and her feet carried her to her lover. She wrapped her arms around his neck, noticed just a bit of hesitation in Hiei’s eyes before it passed. The fire demon turned into her touch and placed his hands on her hips. His hand rose to her face and cupped her cheek, and his thumb traced her lips before he drew her in for a kiss. The woman responded immediately, her hands laced in his hair. Desire bubbled up within the fire demon, but he needed to push it back down. As great as he knew being physical with her would be, that was not his intention for the night.

After Hiei pulled away, he popped the movie in the player and the two settled in bed. Botan was still amazed that Hiei did all of this for her. She was even more taken aback when Hiei took her hand. Her breath hitched when he entwined their fingers and encased her hand in his strong, warm hold. The ferry girl returned the grip, and Hiei took note of her surprisingly forceful hold. They curled up together in bed; their night was quiet and peaceful. The movie she wanted to see wasn’t half bad, either.

As the week progressed, Hiei was still coming to terms with the fact that he was dating Botan. Still a bit frantic, especially when the ferry girl caught on to what he was doing, the fire demon managed to initiate a few more of the date night ideas. Already they had an indoor picnic and took a walk along the beach near Genkai’s. Hiei was finally taking the time to get to know Botan on a deeper level. It astounded him that he had begrudgingly worked with this woman for years, spent all these months with her, and he still knew so little.

He wrote her off so many times as being insignificant, but she played a huge, integral part in so many of Spirit World’s dealings. In fact, he learned that she even had a little pull with Koenma when the fire demon stood trial. Even back then, she didn’t see a monster, and that surprised Hiei because he caused her physical harm.

Back to the dates, Botan would thank him each time and then shower him with affection. Currently, that was what had the demon’s mind reeling. It was like he had never been with the woman before despite their avid intimacy in the bedroom. Their relationship progressed just as fast as the pregnancy, and it became more real to him—the fact that he wanted to be with her. Oddly enough, regardless of this admission, he was still at war with himself. However, the side that wanted to remain with Botan was winning out, and Hiei refused to stop it. Not this time.

It was a nice day, the fall air crisp and inviting. Botan truly loved the season, and the weather could be really wonderful—not too hot, not too cold. This was the kind of day where running errands would be perfect. There wasn’t much to do other than grocery shopping, anyway. She needed more fruits and vegetables, nuts, seeds, and more of the whole grains and anything else with fiber. She felt like she was starting to eat more like a squirrel, but at least she was eating. Occasionally, she would be ravenous, and those instances she usually craved lots and lots of meat.

The ferry girl stood up from her place on the couch and raised her arms to stretch. She leaned over a bit too far and nearly stumbled, but she caught herself on the sofa. A grimace appeared on her face, and she ran a hand through her blue locks. “You okay?”

At the sound of the voice and door closing, Botan slowly whipped her head around to see her demon lover place his sword against the wall. “I’m fine,” she replied tiredly. “Just a little off balance.”

Hiei answered with a nod before he approached her. It was a part of a new ritual, one that took a few days to get used to. Slowly and tentatively, he wrapped his arms around the woman and simply held her. He made the decision after the night of their first ‘official’ date. It was completely outside of Hiei’s comfort zone to initiate physical contact, but the ferry girl seemed to light up when he took her hand. It was so simple, in theory, to touch her and cause that same joy at other times. The fire demon, however, felt his body’s reluctance. That is why he decided to make this effort, and the woman’s melodious sigh as she returned his embrace was the reward for doing so.

“I need to run to the store,” Botan murmured despite the fact that she sunk into Hiei’s hug. “We need some food.”

“Hn,” Hiei replied. He gently rocked her, and his hand moved to her swell to greet his son. The unborn child’s energy flared slightly and Hiei received a soft jab. Botan laughed lightly and felt overwhelming bliss. “I’ll go with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Botan rejected, although her voice was light and airy. “You just got back.” All of a sudden, Hiei let go of her; she felt a light touch and nearly stumbled over. Then, the fire demon grabbed her hand to stop her from falling and righted her. She flashed him a heatless glare and shouted, “Hey!”

She was met with a stone-cold gaze and stern eyes. “If you nearly fell because of that, you have no business going anywhere alone. I’m going with you.”

Botan heaved a heavy sigh but then offered a shy smile. “Well, alright, then. I would be happy if you came with me, as long as you want to.”

Hiei nodded, and the two left the apartment together.

On the way to the grocery store, however, Hiei took a detour. When Botan asked him where he was going when the place was straight down the street, he didn’t answer. The ferry girl allowed the demon to lure her wherever he wanted, and it turned out his aim was the park.

His grip changed once they were there; he went from cupping her hand and practically dragging her to relaxing his grip as he entwined their fingers and walked slowly so they were side by side. His hold was still firm, but it seemed different, like he didn’t want to let her go. Botan was becoming less and less surprised by Hiei’s attempts to spend time together and returned his grip with as powerful a squeeze as she could muster. It was her silent message to Hiei that she understood and appreciated the sentiment.

Hiei felt warmth fill his entire being when Botan gave him that strong squeeze. He figured she’d catch on pretty quickly. She was brilliant, and he was starting to understand that instead of just seeing her as the ditz of an unwelcome teammate he once did. Her kind, sweet actions started to become more routine and less overwhelming. The book was right, it seemed. The more they did these types of things, the more Hiei felt relaxed to enjoy them, enough to be intimate with Botan on another level.

It seemed that the challenges he put on himself benefited him more than he ever would have thought. Just being with her, like Kuwabara once suggested, really did hold some merit after all.

“Your baby is the size of a bunch of broccoli,” Botan read out loud as Hiei put away the groceries. The fire demon held up a huge stalk of broccoli that was just a small bit larger than the palm of his hand. Crimson eyes narrowed at the stalk as if Hiei couldn’t believe the baby was that small. Botan giggled behind her hand and went back to reading. “…or a cabbage.”

“Hn,” Hiei said practically flinging the plant in the vegetable drawer. “What else?”

“He’s getting smarter, it says,” Botan replied. “But I’d say he’s already pretty smart, reaching out to us like he did.”

She isn’t wrong, Hiei admitted. The child understood quite a bit since he was just a bean, it seemed. Back when he was in denial, back when Botan hadn’t been showing at all except for the fire demon’s energy coursing around her, giving her away, the brat made his presence known to Hiei. He wanted his father’s attention, probably because he knew he’d have to fight for it. Hiei grimaced. The child shouldn’t have to fight for anything, not at this stage of his life.

Botan groaned and placed a hand to her chest. Hiei snapped out of his thoughts and was swiftly at her side. “What’s wrong?”

“Heartburn,” Botan barely managed out as she swallowed a bit of acid reflux and made a face as she did so. “Did you find the antacids in the bag yet? Hanako said I could have them if I felt this way.”

Hiei grunted and rummaged through one of the bags to find the bottle. It didn’t take long, and he tossed the bottle to Botan who was close enough to catch it. She smiled weakly. “Thanks.”

“It’s not an issue,” Hiei returned. He looked away from the woman and went back to putting the fruits and vegetables in the fridge.

After Botan chewed the chalky tablets, she went back to reading the book and hoped her indigestion would settle soon. “So, anyway, if he were a normal, human child, the book says that the surface of the brain is beginning to wrinkle and can hold more brain cells. That’s really amazing.”

Hiei would never admit it out loud, but he actually agreed with her.

“His hands are fully formed, too. He just keeps growing.”

The fire demon nodded and noticed that her statement didn’t leave him feeling as frantic as it had in the past. It seemed his son wasn’t the only one who was growing.

“It’s mentioning kick counts again,” Botan murmured. “I haven’t been doing them. He’s just so active I figured that if he ever stopped, I would notice.”

Hiei finished getting the refrigerator foods put away, the last package of meat placed in the meat drawer. When Botan mentioned the kick counts, he froze. The woman didn’t know it, but he had taken to performing the counts when she was unaware. He already knew the activity level of their son by heart. “The boy is fine,” he assured her before he moved to unpack the non-perishables.

Before Botan could question Hiei’s words, he added, “Go rest for now. You have an appointment with the witch this afternoon.”

The ferry girl laughed. She could hear the uneasiness in Hiei’s voice and knew he was trying to distract her. Carefully, she stood up. As she left the room, she called out, “She’s not a witch,” in a sing-song type of tone. Hiei muttered something under his breath before he resumed his chore.

Later, the couple found themselves in Hanako’s office. Botan was wearing that throwaway robe, and even though she should be used to it by this point she was still very uncomfortable. Hiei remained at her side as he had for all the recent appointments. Hanako set up the ultrasound and rubbed that cold jelly on Botan’s abdomen. The cold metal made Botan flinch, but the ferry girl relaxed quickly and set her eyes on the screen.

“Well, would you look at that,” Hanako said fondly. “Your little one is already grabbing his feet.”

Botan smiled; her amethyst eyes sparkled with love and delight. Her book told her she might see something like that at her next appointment, but she didn’t really expect to see it. Her hand gently rubbed that top of her belly and felt a jab, the boy on the screen lightly kicking her. The two women laughed unaware that the fire demon was mesmerized by the child’s actions. The boy really was responding to his parents. It was as if the boy knew the unspoken desire of his mother—one Hiei picked up on—and was basically saying, “This is for you!”

It amazed Hiei more than he ever thought possible.

After Botan got cleaned up, Hanako went to check her charts. After the doctor read a few lines, she grinned at Botan. “Everything looks good,” she reported, and Botan released an audible sigh of relief. “Your weight is exactly where it should be at this stage, so keep doing what you’re doing. The baby is healthy, too, and he’s at the stage where his brain and fat cells are starting to regulate his body temperature, so any extra hairs will be disappearing soon. His bone marrow, too, is taking over control of red blood cell production, which is important for when the child is born. It means he’ll be able to thrive on his own.”

“Well, that’s good,” Botan laughed, her arms still wrapped around the swell. “Our little one is almost ready to come out.”

Hanako beamed brightly feeling immense pride. She couldn’t believe how far both Botan and Hiei had come since their first appointment, and now there was only two months left. “Now, is there anything you need to ask me? Did any new symptoms arise that you’re struggling with?”

Botan frowned. There really wasn’t much that was new except that nasty, now consistent heartburn, but Hanako already gave her advice on that. “How do we make her more comfortable with the symptoms she already has?”

The ferry girl blinked and then turned her head. She gawped at the fire demon as if he said the most outlandish thing. His expression remained stern and serious, but he seemed…calm. It was as if he was acting as her rock, like a true partner. It shouldn’t have surprised Botan that he was concerned for her wellbeing, but her heart hammered and twisted in ways that she couldn’t describe.

“What symptoms has she been experiencing?” Hanako asked, her countenance all business although she was cheering inside. Hiei had grown a lot during Botan’s pregnancy as much as the child inside of the ferry girl did. When Hanako first met him, she thought he was a detriment to her patient’s mental health. The doctor even told Botan that it might be better not to be around the demon. It had taken a lot of time, but Hiei was now completely invested in all of it. He did the classes, asked the questions Botan couldn’t think of, and he tried everything he could to attempt to ease the burden’s the woman suffered.

“Fatigue, back pain, dizziness,” Hiei listed, “constant urination, tender…in the chest area…” The fire demon blushed, as did Botan, when he said this. “Bloating, gas, constipation, and heartburn.”

“Did you really have to list everything?” Botan complained. She hid herself under her arm; the ferry girl felt embarrassed that the fire demon said all that to her doctor.

Hanako refrained from chuckling at her poor patient and friend. She knew it wasn’t the most comfortable or pleasant to talk to a doctor about it all, especially a friend, but it was important that she know. “It’s all normal,” she promised. “The constant need to pee is most likely because your son’s head is pressing against your bladder. It is a cramped space in there. Tenderness in the breasts is a result of your body preparing for lactation. For the rest of it, just keep managing the symptoms. Sleep when you can; rest often; eat high-fiber foods, take probiotics, and drink plenty of water during the day; massage the pained areas of the back.”

“And the heartburn?” Botan questioned timidly. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but it affected her more than she was letting on. Maybe there was something else she could do.

“Your uterus is expanding which is part of the reason you’re experiencing so many gastrointestinal issues,” the obstetrician explained. “It’s putting pressure on your stomach which is why you feel indigestion. To combat that, you should try to avoid spicy, fatty, and fried dishes. You may also want to avoid chocolate, too, but even I know that’s not always easy. Eat smaller meals and don’t lie down after snacking or eating. When you feel a flare up, that’s what antacids are for, plus they’ll give you and the baby calcium.”

Botan nodded as she took it all in. Her eyes shifted to Hiei. The fire demon mentally banked all the information away in his mind. “Now,” Hanako spoke up cautiously, “I want to discuss something else with you both, but just know it is completely up to you.”

Purple eyes widened as crimson narrowed in suspicion. “What is completely up to us?” Hiei practically hissed. Something about the witch’s wording set him on edge, and he didn’t like it.

“One of the services we offer at this clinic is cord blood banking.” The doctor paused to allow the two to react. She expected them to protest, but they both looked incredibly confused. She elaborated, “That’s where we take the cord blood from the umbilical cord and placenta after birth, and then we donate it for research. There is a lot of research regarding stem cells that treat blood diseases and immune system disorders that can be collected from that blood; however, this clinic is primarily interested in the blood of those with supernatural abilities, like yours. We know enough about human children, but only recently have we been seeing situations like yours.

“I wanted to discuss it with you personally because I know you may feel like it’s a violation of your privacy,” Hanako concluded. “It is a safe and painless procedure and takes about five minutes, and you can either bank it at a public facility or privately here for your family only to protect your privacy.”

Botan looked to Hiei. “What do you think we should do?”

The ferry girl was asking him? Hiei was strangely touched that Botan would take his opinion into consideration on such a big decision. On one hand, Hiei really did feel strange about this facility bleeding his son out to experiment on his blood, but on the other, there was very little information regarding human/demon hybrids, and even less on human/demon/spirit offspring. It was possible that the blood would be very important one day, and the doctor did say it could be handled privately.

“If we choose to allow the information to the public data, will it still be handled here, privately, so that no other facility uses it and decides they want to research the child further,” Hiei questioned. This would be the deciding factor. No matter what, protecting their son was the priority.

“Everything we do here is for others like you,” Hanako assured them. “No other facility will get ahold of our data. It will be very specifically labeled so that the correct lab techs know to study it, and I’ll be sure to keep an eye on everything.”

“Then I say we do it,” Botan chimed. She met Hiei’s gaze and could tell he agreed. “There’s no telling who this will help in addition to our son.” Hiei nodded in acknowledgement and then glared at Hanako.

This time, the woman laughed.

“I promise, nothing will happen,” she attempted to pacify the demon again. “I’ll be right there during the delivery and after. Everything will be fine.”

“He’s been very active in there today,” Botan murmured as she felt her baby shift around and place a few strong punches and kicks. “It’s like he’s a little boxer. My little warrior…”

Hiei halted in stride as they walked home. Whenever the woman said something like that, it always felt like a punch to the gut. Of course, her words meant far more to him than he ever expected. This wonder and acceptance Botan always experienced in regard to their offspring was so completely different than what Hiei had come to know. If it were anyone else, the fire demon didn’t think they’d be as thrilled as she was to sire his child. He still wasn’t thrilled that he, one who lacked any basic parental skills, had done so.

His desire for the woman always seemed to spike when she spoke such honest, kind words. When he heard Botan gasp and then struggle to catch her breath, Hiei had to swallow that wantonness down. His mind went back to the remainder of the doctor’s appointment. Hanako asked Botan a list of symptoms, and the ferry girl grew wide-eyed when the witch asked her if she was feeling breathless. Apparently, that was another symptom the woman was keeping from him, and that frustrated him.

Hiei stopped walking to allow the woman time to catch her breath before they continued down the street to the apartment. They were nearly there and—once behind closed doors—Hiei planned to have a discussion with the woman. He was not going to let her off so easily. She better have a good reason for keeping him in the dark about something regarding her health.

Once home, Botan sat down on the couch and put up her feet. She took some deep breaths to get as much air as possible. Hiei went to grab her a glass of water and then sat beside her. After Botan set the glass down on the end table next to her, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Hiei noticed her hand reach under her shirt to itch her belly. He sighed and picked up a tube of lotion off of the coffee table.

Botan bought the cream the last time they were out. It was supposed to get rid of what the woman called ‘stretch marks’. They were lines on her belly and body that formed because of her stretching skin. Of course, she was told by her book and her obstetrician that the cream probably wouldn’t make them disappear, but it would help with the itchiness.

The woman flinched when she felt the cool cream meet her stomach; her purple eyes peeked through dark lashes as she watched Hiei rub the cream into her skin, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. This was not the first time Hiei had done this; Botan recalled a day where they read in the book that scratching made things worse and to ask her partner to rub moisturizing lotion over her stomach to alleviate discomfort. Hiei simply stated that she ‘didn’t need to ask’, another shocking change in their dynamic, but one that was much appreciated.

The fire demon noticed Botan flexing her toes too. His crimson eyes shifted to the puffy ankles. He met her tired gaze and motioned for her to prop her feet on his lap. Botan’s eyes widened, the woman surprised by the silent demand, but she did what Hiei asked and was rewarded as he began to gently massage her ankles.

“Hiei…” Botan moaned. Her voice sounded breathless, and Hiei paused for just a moment before continuing his ministrations.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your breathing issues?” Botan blinked as Hiei’s gaze cut through her. “How long has it been happening?”

Another soft moan escaped the woman as Hiei reached a small, tender spot on her heel. “I didn’t want to admit it,” she spoke quietly before she complained, “I already felt like I was as useless as the day I tried to go down the stairs.”

Immediately, Hiei let the woman’s foot go. Botan raised her head to look at the fire demon disappointed that he stopped. He glowered at her, heat in his eyes. “Never mention that day,” he snapped with a hiss. “Ever.”

Hiei’s body was shaking, and he stood up abruptly to put distance between himself and the ferry girl. He couldn’t believe she just said that so carelessly. That day still haunted him. It was Hiei’s fault that it happened in the first place, and he knew it. His actions and callous words haunted him each day, reminded him that he put the woman at risk, and to hear her just murmur that memory out casually enraged him.

Baffled, Botan waited for Hiei to calm down. His breathing was heavy, and he was so visibly upset; it took the woman by surprised. “Hiei, what’s wrong?” she whispered. “Why does that upset you so much?”

Hiei swallowed and it felt like he swallowed shards of glass. He couldn’t believe she asked that. Did she really not understand how much it twisted his insides when he thought of her lying at the bottom of the stairs? Was it possible that she never even considered what exactly he felt that day? He had been angry, quiet, and brooding. When they returned, the fire demon yelled out all of his fear and frustration, and the woman hugged him. Had that been her way of apologizing? Crimson eyes widened a fraction before he closed them and shook his head. Hiei barely gave the details of that day a second glance. Was it possible that Botan actually mistook his rage to be directed towards her?

“You were hurt,” Hiei barely made out through gritted teeth. “You were trying to prove a point because you felt useless, and I made you feel that way. My words led you to take a stand to prove yourself. If it weren’t for me, you would have done the safe thing and taken the damn elevator. You shouldn’t have needed to prove yourself to me. You’re carrying my child, our child.”

During Hiei’s tirade, their eyes finally met. Botan’s soft eyes peered into the tumultuous orbs of her lover. Back then, they hadn’t talked about what happened. The ferry girl always believed herself to be at fault. She tried to appear tough in that moment, to prove to herself and everyone else that she was still capable of functioning. When she did, she put the baby at risk. She and Hiei could have lost their son because of her stupidity and carelessness. Even if Hiei had made his remarks, Botan shouldn’t have let that interfere with her good sense. When Hiei yelled at her when they got back, he voiced all of the things that ran through Botan’s head while she was in the hospital.

Her train of thought was interrupted. “I wronged you,” Hiei interjected. “I can never forgive myself for that.”

Botan was so surprised to hear this confession. All this time, she took his actions to mean something else. They both perceived what happened so differently; it amazed her. To reassure her lover, she took his hand in hers. “It’s not your fault,” she murmured. Hiei opened his mouth to contradict her, but Botan admitted, “You only said what I was already feeling.”

“What?” Hiei obtusely replied.

“I…” Botan breathed out, her eyes cast sideward. “I already felt useless before you ever made that comment about listening to the book too much. There were already so many thoughts in my head. I didn’t know what would happen with our baby after the birth. I didn’t feel like I was being a good friend. I couldn’t even enjoy myself when we were out and brought this negative aura with me.”

She met Hiei’s gaze again. “I was a burden to all of you,” the ferry girl continued. “I guess…I just wanted to prove to myself that I could still handle something. I didn’t do it solely because of you. There’s no reason for you to be angry with yourself. You should be angry with me.”

Hiei faced Botan. The woman’s eyes never left his as he walked toward her. He stood in front of her, his eyes unreadable. In the blink of an eye, Botan was pulled flush up against the fire demon’s body. His heat poured into her and warmed her whole body. Gently, his hand ran up her back to cradle her neck. Then he kissed her, short and sweet pecks before he pulled away to say, “You’re never useless. You’re stronger than all of us.”

His words earned a smile from the woman. Botan pushed strands of blue out of her face and fought back the tears that threatened to spill. Their lips met again, and this time Hiei deepened the kiss. He pressed his forehead gently to hers and felt completely connected to the woman. Maybe this talking thing really wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Since the day of that overwhelming discussion, things had been even better between Hiei and Botan. The two worked together to research some ways to help with her breathlessness. It seemed that sleeping in a semi-seated position would help, but Botan didn’t like the feeling of pillows stuck behind her back. Hiei didn’t mind, though. He had slept on worse, so as a compromise, he slept propped up against the headboard and pillows, and Botan slept against him. She was much more comfortable with a fire demon keeping her warm and secure. The days she could sleep, she slept soundly. On the days she couldn’t, well, sometimes they’d just remain in rest position and just be. Other nights, they were a bit more playful and amorous.

Unfortunately, Botan’s center of gravity was changing. She was now so much larger than she had been, and her body seemed to make her use muscles she rarely did. Pain took over her lower back most days, but that wasn’t the only problem. Her joints were loosening, and she was stumbling more and more. Already used to being a klutz, she was able to catch herself most of the times, but it was becoming a problem. There was a chance she’d fall again, and there was no way she wanted a repeat, even if this time it would be accidental. It was a good thing she never wore heels!

Honestly, Botan felt very tired and didn’t want to move around much at all. She wanted to go out less and less, something that Hiei noticed. It, again, affected her mood, but instead of being nonchalant or irritated about it as he would have been in the past, the fire demon was, surprisingly, very reassuring. He reminded her that she just had a few short months to go and that it was okay that she didn’t want to go out.

It was a little suspicious that the next day Yukina, Shizuru, and Keiko all decided on an impromptu visit.

Botan let the girls inside and went to change into more presentable clothes despite the protests of her friends. They claimed not to care what she was wearing, but Botan did care. The girls took time out of their lives to come and visit her. The least she could do was not sit around in her pajamas all day.

When she settled on an outfit and wrapped herself up in her cardigan, she made her way out to the living room. Yukina was already in the kitchen cooking food that Botan was sure was for her whether she wanted to eat or not. The ferry girl smiled awkwardly and bit her lip to stop the nervous chuckle that bubbled in her chest from escaping. She rubbed her belly and mentally reminded herself that she and her baby were lucky to have family to care for them.

The word ‘family’ stuck in Botan’s mind, and a true, genuine, and giddy smile found her. Botan didn’t have any memories of a life before being a ferry girl. She had no idea if she had a family or not or if she just existed. Her friends had become her family, and now she and Hiei had their baby on their way. Hiei became her family truly by accident, and that was a bond more precious to her than anything. Yukina always treated Botan like family, too, but now it was even more real. Her baby hadn’t even been born yet, and he gave Botan something she always craved. Her son connected her to both Hiei and Yukina, and nothing could take that away from any of them. They were a family.

“What’s with that giddy smile?” Keiko teased from the living room. “Thinking about the baby.”

“Yeah, just a little,” Botan replied, a warm smile upon her face. “So, what brings you girls by?”

“We just wanted to check up on our Blue,” Shizuru replied. “It’s been a while since we all got to hang out together.”

Botan felt a jolt. Shizuru wasn’t wrong. She hadn’t seen any of them since the surprise baby shower which had been a little over a week ago, and even then, it had all been about the baby. Botan couldn’t remember the last time she and the girls spent quality time together. Even the times before, Botan vaguely recalled a lot of talk about the baby, and the ferry girl felt awful.

“What’s wrong, Botan?” Keiko questioned as she noticed her friend’s mood shift. “Are you feeling okay?”

“No,” Botan admitted. “I’m horrible…the absolute worst. I’ve been so caught up with everything going on that I forgot to be a good friend. I haven’t even thought to ask what’s been going on, and I feel so disconnected, you know? I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize for that,” Yukina said softly. She joined the group and put a plate full of food down in front of Botan. “You’re having a baby, and honestly, I like to hear about it.”

Botan looked at the ice maiden and saw nothing but sincerity and joy lighting her eyes. Well, Yukina was the baby’s aunt, after all, so it made sense for her to want to talk about him, but what about the others? She looked to Keiko and Shizuru who both nodded in agreement to reassure the woman.

“We’re really excited for you, too,” Keiko told her. “You’re the first one in our group to get pregnant, however accidental it might have been. You’re starting the next generation of our group.”

Botan blushed and put on a smile as she wiped away a few of the forming happy tears. “That’s really sweet of you to say, dear,” the ferry girl murmured, “but I still feel like I’ve been neglectful. I feel like the last time we had a major discussion was when you told us that Yusuke and you were trying. And Shizuru…I heard from Kurama that things didn’t work out with Ethan, and he set you up. I don’t know what happened before and what’s going on now.”

“Tell you what,” Shizuru spoke up. “Let’s do something, just us girls. We’ll all catch up and tell each other about what’s been going on. A little birdie told me you have plenty to tell us.”

The ferry girl had an inkling as to what Shizuru was referring. It seemed like so long ago since they talked about her and Hiei, and there was so much new information to tell. Botan tried to think back, and she could only remember talking about Hiei with Keiko and Shizuru sometime after the baby started kicking. Could it have really been that long since they had true girl talk?

Smiling, Botan answered, “Yeah. I would like that very much.”

As the week came to a close, Botan’s mood improved which indicated that the wave of hormone-induced depression was over. A girls’ day with her friends was welcome and had its benefits. Of course, Botan suspected Hiei of having something to do with the get together. If he did, the fire demon made no move to claim responsibility. That was fine. Botan was perfectly happy to give Hiei some added affection as unspoken thanks throughout the rest of the week.

Hiei expected panic to arise within him when Botan was being overly cuddly and loving, but those nerves seemed to diminish over the course of all this time. In fact, a part of the demon longed for Botan’s gentle touch. It awoke an animalistic urge in him to claim her while it also called upon a warmth he didn’t realize he possessed to protect her.

The two were entwined on the couch; they kissed with such fervor, and Hiei’s hands itched with anticipation. Most of their amorous activities had been put on hold while he attempted to increase their intimacy. He missed it, and so he allowed his hands to explore Botan’s body. Botan murmured Hiei’s name as his lips again met hers. Both closed their eyes, though when Botan peeked through, she could see the Jagan peeked open slightly. Even with his eyes closed, Hiei looked so content and peaceful as he caressed her. His hand traced her spine through her shirt, and Botan threw her head back which gave Hiei the opportunity to lightly nip her neck.

Out of nowhere, Hiei could feel a surge of excited energy and pulled away from the woman. The energy died down a bit, so Hiei resumed his actions as if he never stopped. Once again, as the couple continued their make out session, the raised energy appeared again. Hiei narrowed his eyes at the swell that covered his child. It seemed the baby was eager for his parents to be together, and that alone felt like a bucket of ice water poured over him. He felt incredibly self-conscious with an audience.

Leave us be, Hiei snapped with use of the Jagan. The second he demanded this, the energy completely dissipated which meant the child listened and withdrew. Hiei mentally scoffed. At least the boy obeyed. Still, Hiei was overwhelmed by this development, although it was sort of humorous that the boy wasn’t even born yet and seemed eager for his parents to be together despite the lack of understanding what any of it meant.

Both with irritation and fondness, Hiei considered, Hn. That child is going to be a naïve voyeur just like his mother.

Strangely enough, the thought didn’t bother him as much as it should have.

Anyway, the mood had effectively been ruined, and Hiei halted his ministrations. Breathless, Botan eyed her lover curiously. “What’s up?” she asked, her voice full of concern. The ferry girl wondered if Hiei was back to experiencing second thoughts about them. If he was, she would understand. So much had changed between them so quickly, and then they slowed down for a bit. Perhaps now Hiei was hesitating about pushing forward. If that was what was going on in her lover’s mind, Botan would be willing to keep things slow. She rather liked getting to know the fire demon and sharing moments of fleeting kisses and gentle caresses. They could always work their way back up to being truly intimate.

Of course, that was the complete opposite as to what Hiei thought. In fact, he blurted out the real reason before he could stop himself. “I can’t wait until the kid is out of you so I don’t feel like I have an audience.”

Botan laughed sweetly at first before she noticed Hiei flinch over his own admission. The words played themselves over in Botan’s head, and she stiffened too. Both of them realized the implication of Hiei’s confession loud and clear. It was the first time the fire demon admitted that he intended to keep everything between them the way it was after the baby was born.

Red dusted Hiei’s cheeks, his eyes cast in a downward. Had he really just admitted what he wanted, even indirectly, to the woman after keeping it bottled up for so long? Maybe she missed it, even though she grew silent. But, so what if she understood? Isn’t that what he wanted?

“Oh, Hiei,” Botan cooed before she threw her arms around him and crashed her lips against his. Her fervor caught Hiei by surprise, but he regained control and kissed the woman back more forcefully.

Their foreheads touched, the Jagan closing the same as both their eyes. Hiei and Botan breathed heavily together, warm air mingling as they both allowed themselves to feel the peace of the moment.

“Guess what I realized earlier this week,” Botan whispered affectionately.

Still working on catching his breath, Hiei murmured, “What?”

“Our son joined us together,” she explained. “You, me, him, and Yukina, we’re a family, now. Like really a family.”

Hiei’s eyes shot open, forehead still connected to Botan’s. He had that deer-caught-in-headlights look that Botan had seen more often since the start of her pregnancy. Usually, it meant Hiei would pull back, and Botan bit her lip nervously. Her heart froze up in slight panic. She really hoped she hadn’t scared her lover away again.

“H-Hiei?” she called his name timidly. “D-did I say something wrong?”

Crimson met amethyst, and Hiei’s hand entwined itself in her blue tresses to reassure her. “No,” he said with confidence. His expression remained stoic, their foreheads still pressed together gently as he softly admitted, “I’ve just never had one of those before.”

Botan gasped, the expression on her face full of sorrow and confusion. “But Yukina…”

“Didn’t know who I was in the beginning,” he reminded the woman, “and she kept it from me as I had from her for years after she figured it out. Other than watching her from afar, we did not interact. We were just…related. Only recently…” Hiei stopped himself from voicing the fact that he had more of a relationship with his twin because of Botan and the baby. That was on him and no one else.

“The closest thing I had to a family was the band of thieves that took me in after my…banishment,” he continued. He noticed the ferry girl’s usually cheerful visage darken, most likely at the thought of the horrible women who tried to do away with a child. She made her opinion of them very clear when she spoke with Yukina. “…And really, they only kept me around to get my stone or use me on raids. I was a violent child, Botan. Even they turned their back on me when I became too much to handle. Family…it’s such a foreign concept to me.”

Botan remained silent for a short while in order to soak up and process all of what Hiei just told her. Then, she spoke up, and Hiei was surprised by the words that left her mouth. “I’ve seen other families, but I’ve never been a part of one, truly, either. If I never met Yusuke and all of you, I would have never known what it was like...to be a part of one. I never thought that any of this would be possible for me, never imagined I would have a child of my own or someone I loved so deeply in my life. To be honest, I’m so grateful to you and to our son for giving me a chance at someth-thing…” Botan sniffled and wiped away the forming tears that were about to fall. “Something so beautiful.”

Hiei panicked when Botan started crying which momentarily shorted out his mind from lingering on her words. He quickly pulled his forehead away to instead wrap his arms around the woman and hold her tightly. Botan began to shake, sob, and apologize for her emotional outburst over and over again. Hiei said nothing, only tightened his grip on her and mentally willed her to stop.

It took a while for Botan’s emotions to settle, and soon she and Hiei were rocking slowly. The wind blew outside, the faucet dripped, the clock ticked, and the apartment was so completely silent that Hiei could distinguish each sound. Despite all of that, his mind could only focus on one thing.

She is my family, he repeated his mind a few times; he hoped to wrap his mind around it. And she actually wants to be…

Chapter Text

It was the week of Thanksgiving.

Well, in America it was.

Botan had been flipping through the channels to look for something to catch her interest. Of all things, on the business network, there was a program about how to make American business associates feel like they’re back home for the holiday. It was a cooking program, and Botan rather liked those, so she lingered.

It had been a bad idea. By the end of the program, the pregnant woman craved all the different Thanksgiving foods. Cranberry sauce, yams with marshmallow and caramel, and, above all, the turkey, all looked much too tantalizing. A pout marred her features. Where on Earth was she going to get those types of food? Did they have specialty stores for it, or was it at the local convenience store or market?

Knowing her luck, it was nowhere.

“What has you salivating, woman?”

Botan jumped and quickly touched her mouth and realized she was, in fact, drooling. She quickly cleaned herself off and turned to see Hiei entering the room. He trained early in the morning before her waking, probably on the roof of the apartment building as he took to doing the closer they got to Botan’s due date. When Botan awoke, Hiei was in the shower, so she went to watch TV which now caused her current craving dilemma.

“Nothing,” Botan murmured. “It’s just that…it’s an American holiday today, and I don’t know of any place to get the food here. I just got these intense cravings for pretty much everything. The turkey especially.” Hiei’s expression remained neutral as Botan explained her plight. She expected him to tell her she was being ridiculous, but he simply glanced to her rounded abdomen with a glint of softness. “Hiei?”

“Hn,” his normal grunt came. In a flash, he appeared before her and kissed her, mindful of their child between them. “Don’t worry, woman. Rest. I’ll take care of it.”

Botan’s brow quirked in question. “Take…care of what?”

But Hiei was gone before she even voiced the question.

Hiei, despite what Botan may have thought he’d think of her, understood full well why she was craving the bird. It surprised him that she didn’t remember her intense meat cravings throughout the pregnancy. The baby made his desires known, and Botan’s cravings were just an extension of that. Because of this, Hiei was determined to find this ‘turkey’ and make sure Botan and their child were satisfied.

The ferry girl said something about America. Hiei didn’t really know what that was, but it couldn’t be that difficult to locate with his Jagan. The fire demon had his goal. He would find this giant bird, even if he had to portal jump to get it. Botan and their son would be satisfied.

The Minamino house was lively, more so that either Kurama or his mother were used to. Of course, they had done holidays before with many loved ones. Today, though, the house was full of strangers. It was unsettling for them both, which is why having Hanako there was a blessing to Kurama. The redhead felt worse for his mother.

Shiori had never celebrated or prepared an American Thanksgiving ever in her life, so when her husband sprung it upon her, it was a shock. The woman understood her husband. After all, his business associates visiting from America were away from home and he wanted to make them feel welcome. However, the man was already aware that there would be a long talk tonight between him and his wife. After all, the few days’ notice he gave her was hardly enough given the circumstance.

“Hanako,” Shiori chimed, though her voice sounded tired and worn from the day’s festivities, “would you mind bringing out the bowl of stuffing I left on the counter? I just need to rest for the moment.”

“Of course,” the woman replied with a sincere smile, “it’s no trouble. Is everything else out?”

“Mm,” Shiori hummed as she nodded. “Thank you, dear.”

Hanako’s faint smile never left her face as she backed away from her boyfriend’s incredibly kind mother. The two of them spent the majority of the morning preparing the food for Hatanaka’s guests which gave them a chance to bond. The obstetrician absolutely adored Kurama’s mother, and she believed the feeling was mutual if Shiori’s calm and content aura around her was any indication.

As she was about to turn to leave the kitchen, Hanako let out a shriek, immediately alerting Kurama who stormed into the kitchen ready to attack. When he took in the sight before him, his furious glare turned into an uncharacteristic bewilderment. “H-Hiei?!” the redhead exclaimed. “What are you doing here?!”

Hiei stood in the middle of the kitchen of Kurama’s family home with a turkey, beheaded and bloodied. Without much explanation, the fire demon stated, “I need help cleaning it.”

Horrified at the thought of his mother, stepbrother, stepfather, or his stepfather’s business associates walking in, Kurama rushed Hiei out the back door. That left Hanako alone as she stared at the spot where Hiei had stood in shock. Moments later, Kurama came back to the door smiling his annoyed smile, a drop of nervous sweat appearing. Hanako looked to him, her eyes questioning him.

“This may take a little bit,” he explained, exasperated. “Can you clean up here? We need to head to Kuwabara’s.”

Hanako was baffled and wondered why they needed to go to Kuwabara’s. She simply nodded, and after Kurama left, she worked on cleaning up, and did it quickly before Shiori came back into the kitchen.

A few days later, Hiei found himself on his own. Shizuru, Keiko, and Yukina came to take Botan out for a day of relaxation and pampering. Hiei wanted to go, wanted to be close enough to protect Botan, but he had hovered over her so much lately that even his own sister indicated the couple both needed a break and some time alone. The ice maiden promised to protect Botan, and when Hiei made to protest she asked him, “How do you think I made it across Demon World on my own?”

Between his twin and Kuwabara’s sister, Hiei figured Botan would be fine. The decision was not something he came to on his own but was forced upon him when the two women shoved him back inside the apartment and slammed the door shut. Hiei couldn’t even get a word in edgewise.

Now, he was alone, panicking. He spent the first hour pacing, desperately tried to force himself not to think about anything. He cleaned the apartment, something he neglected to do the past month. The fire demon hadn’t realized just how much energy he’d put into getting to know the ferry girl on a deeper level. He didn’t regret it, though, especially since he felt more comfortable around the woman.

After cleaning, he checked in on the woman using the Jagan. Apparently, the girls took her to the salon before shopping, and Botan seemed completely at ease. With a sigh of resignation, Hiei left the women be. It still didn’t ease the pressure in his chest or the pit in his stomach.

When he sat down on the couch, Hiei noticed that Botan placed his parenting boom beside hers. The fire demon mentally shrugged. He had nothing better to do, so he grabbed his book and turned to the current week. The chapter was titled “Pregnancy Symptoms for Dad”.

You have got to be kidding me, Hiei griped. Still, after all his guide helped with in regard to Botan, Hiei figured he’d give it a fair shot.

Strangely enough, all the chapter indicated was that Hiei could be experiencing some of the same symptoms as the woman—something called couvade syndrome—and anxiety was the first one listed. Hiei now had to wonder if his current anxiety was a product of the pregnancy instead of a legitimate fear. Did that mean the one who normally had completely control of emotions was just a victim to silly symptoms? Possibly…

As much as Hiei wanted to berate himself, he couldn’t. After all, any time Botan felt similarly, he did his best to reassure her. So, if he used that logic, being angry at himself was pointless. It’s not like that would make the anxiety go away.

Thankfully, Hiei did not feel nauseated like the woman, and he definitely hadn’t experienced any weight gain or aches and pains. If he did, he knew it would get in the way of training, and that was something both he and Botan could not afford. Contrastingly, Hiei could conceive the possibility that he experienced mood swings like the woman did. Lately, he felt those ups and downs, and he could actually relate to Botan. Unlike the woman, he didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, so he was able to hide it from her. In those moments, Hiei would simply hold Botan and sense out their child. The two of them kept him centered, a stark contrast from how he felt in the very beginning.

“Changes in sexual appetite are to be expected,” the book stated. “During pregnancy, a woman’s drive can either rev up or shift into neutral, or both within a few short days. Some experience a surge whereas others are too tired or self-conscious about their appearance. It isn’t just the women experiencing these changes. It is just as unpredictable for the men. Some awaiting fathers are turned on by the changes in their pregnant partner’s body, while others may find it overwhelming, and reminded of all the responsibilities. Some men find themselves energized by the thought of having a child, and some are exhausted by the idea.”

Hiei pondered this whole paragraph for a while. Despite how active he and Botan had been, it all made sense and added up. For the longest time just looking at the woman was enough to trigger his anger, anxiety, and frustration. He had been so overwhelmed that he avoided the ferry girl like the plague when he could. Meanwhile, Botan had been so worried about her appearance, her uncertainties, the pain, and actually caring for herself and the child. Hiei’s gaze became pained as he thought it all over. Now, he was excited about the prospect of a child. Now, Botan didn’t seem to be so depressed, sullen, and self-conscious.

She should have never felt that way before. He did that, well that and his neglect. That whole time, he took all of his uncertainties out on her, not even their child. Hiei treated her like the enemy, like an inconvenience he wished to just push behind him. It wasn’t fair to Botan. Even though their dynamic changed, Hiei felt guilt.

By the time Hiei came out of his thoughts, Botan returned home. She entered the apartment and found Hiei sitting on the couch, eyes closed. The woman smiled and waddled her way over to the fire demon. His brow was creased as if he were in deep concentration or thought, such a heavy look for someone who was sound asleep.

Botan leaned down the best she could to kiss Hiei’s forehead. The fire demon practically leapt away from her, his crimson eyes wide as he took in her joyful form. “Sorry,” she softly cooed. “I didn’t mean to wake you or startle you.”

“You didn’t,” Hiei said a bit too hurried. “I wasn’t asleep.”

The woman’s expression dropped. “Oh,” she practically breathed out. Hiei tried to gage her reaction. Maybe she thought he was weak for being startled. He shook his head of that thought. Botan didn’t think like that. She wasn’t a demon, so she wouldn’t mock or berate him for that foolishness. In fact, Botan looked concerned… Hiei didn’t know what to make of it. She must have noticed his distress. Then Botan asked, “Is everything all right?”

Hiei’s expression relaxed, but still held some rigidity and seriousness. It really did bother him how poorly he treated Botan in the beginning, and now that he was getting to know her and understand his own repressed emotions, he couldn’t shake the guilt that came with it.

“I haven’t been fair to you,” he admitted. “In the beginning, when I said all I did…”

“I forgive you,” Botan cut in without giving Hiei the chance to say he was ‘sorry’.

Her easy forgiveness only made Hiei feel worse, and Botan noticed the darkness that surrounded him. She smiled. “I know what you need,” she cooed. Hiei’s brow raised, a silent question in his mind, but Botan merely giggled and held out her hand. “Come on, now.”

Hesitantly, Hiei took her hand, and then Botan led him to his room. After she released his hand, she moved to sit and get comfortable on the bed. Hiei awkwardly stood in the doorway as he watched her with wide and uncertain eyes. When Botan was settled, her eyes met his, and she patted the empty side of the bed to motion the fire demon to join her. Hiei, still apprehensive, slowly made his way across the room and into the bed. Stiffly, he sat, but Botan was undeterred. She wrapped her arm around Hiei, cuddled him close to her, and pet his head lovingly.

Hiei inhaled deeply through his nose, but the air felt like ice and he could hardly breathe at first. His dark thoughts were then chased away as the comfort feeling he always received when the woman did this started to flood him. After that, he was filled with nothing but warmth, and he relaxed against Botan, wondering not for the first time if her hands possessed some kind of drug.

Botan smiled when Hiei’s eyes drifted closed. She was happy that she could bring him some sort of peace. To be honest, she had been waiting for the day Hiei brought up the beginning of her pregnancy. They were both in a different place back then, separated by their worlds and fears. She always wanted to include him, but Hiei struggled to adjust. After Yukina told Botan about their past and people, Botan understood, and any anger she felt towards Hiei and his cruel words towards her and their child were but a distant memory. The man Hiei truly was shone through as of late, so Botan never planned to bring it up.

She hoped her few words would ease Hiei’s conscience. After all, he was her rock, protector, and friend. The two of them were experiencing this whole ordeal together, and Botan just wanted Hiei to focus on the joy of bringing their son into the world.

Hiei was back in his head after he allowed himself to feel some of the peace. Truthfully, the fire demon did not believe he deserved Botan’s immediate acceptance. Even what she was doing now caused Hiei to feel some type of guilt. He finally managed to get ahold of himself and gently grabbed Botan’s wrist to stop her. Surprise alit her amethyst eyes.

“Y-yes?” she stammered.

“You’ve done enough,” Hiei said sternly, but calmly as he removed himself from Botan’s grip. “Let me take care of you.”

Botan was about to protest, about to tell Hiei that he had done that and more the past few months, but he was fast as lightening. She felt him before she saw him. The fire demon sat perched on the edge of his bed and eyed Botan’s swollen foot and ankle in hand. Tentatively, he made a move to rub the aching appendage with his thumb. The ferry girl twitched at the ticklish sensation. Hiei repeated his actions a few more times before he started to gently rub and knead her foot and the joint of her ankle.

The ferry girl closed her eyes and sighed. His ministrations helped relieve the pain that afflicted her all day after being out with the girls. Her friends offered so many times for Botan to rest, but Botan assured them she was fine. It was bad enough she had to use the rest room every five minutes. If she continuously took breaks, they would have never gotten anywhere!

Hiei continued to massage the woman’s feet. He read that it might help. Of course, he would have never considered doing this for anyone before, ever in his life. His pride would have prevented him from doing so; however, he wronged this woman countless times, and she just took it in stride and easily forgave him for his shortcomings. He owed the ferry girl more than anyone ever in his life. This was just a drop in the bucket compared to what he owed the woman.

His eyes trailed up the ferry girl’s body and stopped when he reached her face. The woman’s eyes were closed, and she looked completely relaxed. A moan of relief passed her lips, and Hiei froze in his actions as desire stirred within him. Part of him wanted to force that feeling away. This was about Botan, but he just couldn’t resist. He wanted her…now.

Botan peeked her eyes open when Hiei stopped only to find the fire demon hovering over her. His eyes were filled with so much passion mixed with a glint of something else. Before Botan could question him, Hiei sealed their lips in a searing kiss. The woman melted into it, and her hands wove into Hiei’s hair. Hiei was mindful of the baby in between them and gently coaxed Botan into a seated position. As he slowly moved her, however, her body had other plans.

A pained moan escaped her, and Hiei pulled away abruptly, his brow furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Botan met his worried gaze with a sheepish smile. “It’s nothing really,” she murmured. “It’s just my back. I didn’t want to take too many breaks out and it kind of hurts.”

Though Hiei still felt desire towards the ferry girl, his instinct to protect returned. He had to push down those feelings to take care of the woman. “Turn around,” he ordered. Botan appeared perplexed. “I’ll take care of it.”

Botan’s heart nearly burst; her hand moved to her chest. Hiei had been saying those words a lot more lately, and he always delivered. He was always so serious about making sure she was comfortable, especially when they both knew things would get and feel worse the closer they got to her due date. She offered her lover a smile and cautiously turned so that her feet went over the side of the bed. She sat at the edge and waited patiently.

Hiei kept his eyes on her, but at first he couldn’t move. He knew what he offered, but at the same time he feared he’d do more harm than good and hurt Botan. After a moment of mental deliberation, Hiei placed his hands on her back, and he carefully began to rub her back.

The ferry girl smiled. Hiei’s touch was so soft and gentle, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from giggling. They had been together so many times where Hiei never seemed to hold back, but now it seemed Hiei was afraid to hurt her and the baby in some way. She didn’t know where this timidity came from, but it was incredibly sweet and adorable.

“Hiei,” Botan spoke calmly. Hiei’s hands twitched, as if he flinched at the sound of her voice. “It’s okay. You aren’t going to hurt me. You can use more pressure than that.” She turned to face him, the fire demon bewildered as she smiled. “I could barely feel that.”

Hiei’s expression softened and became more neutral, but the fire demon was still deeply surprised. He had been so worried about hurting Botan, but he didn’t realize he was barely doing anything until the ferry girl spoke up. She turned around again to give Hiei another shot at this. The fire demon used more pressure, and Botan once again sighed in relief. It was in that moment that Hiei realized he could use more of his strength on the woman than he expected. Botan wasn’t brittle.

Botan drank her smoothie; she sucked the delicious combination of strawberries, banana, and chocolate through her paper straw mindlessly. Her eyes roved over the contents of her guidebook. She was deep in thought. She read that her baby was the size of a coconut and that his senses were increasing. As he grew larger, Botan’s breathing room would decrease.

Still, that didn’t bother so much.

Honestly, Botan knew the next few weeks would be tougher on her, so instead of worrying about it, she shifted her focus to what was happening on the inside. Her son’s brain was developing connections fairly quickly. According to the book, he would rest a lot more too. Botan learned this when hours went by without any activity. It was unusual to her, and she nearly panicked. She rushed to Hiei when she felt so scared, but Hiei used the Jagan to check on the boy.

When he breathed out a breath of relief and assured Botan the baby was okay, Botan realized both how important it was to express her fears to Hiei and how worried Hiei seemed to be at the thought that something was wrong. To be safe, Botan called Hanako who assured her it was normal and that if she wanted to wake the baby up from time to time she could eat or drink something sugary. That chocolate Hiei sneaked Botan when she was down would definitely come in handy for that.

Botan also read that their baby could already process and pick up signals related to all five senses. What was really interesting was that even though that was the case, her baby couldn’t smell anything. Not when he was surrounded by liquid. Once he was born and breathing air, though, that would change. The first thing he would smell was her, and the book said it would become his favorite. Botan smiled.

The ferry girl put the book down on the table along with her drink and turned her gaze to the ceiling. She couldn’t believe that in two short months she would be a mother. The thought didn’t scare her as much as it usually did, a sign that she adjusted well to everything. She couldn’t wait to meet her little boy and hold him. She still had no idea how she and Hiei were going to work out the logistics of their situation, but she had faith in him and, surprisingly, considering the immense amount of pregnancy-induced depression, herself.

Hiei entered the apartment and found Botan at the kitchen table. He took in the sight of her before he placed his sword by the front door. The ferry girl was lost in thought once again that she didn’t even notice that the fire demon returned from his rooftop training. Instead of retreating to his room like he usually did in the past, Hiei joined Botan at the table. The sound of the seat rubbing against the floor stole Botan’s attention.

“Oh, Hiei,” she called out in surprise. “Good…good morning.”

Hiei chuckled at her greeting. Honestly, Botan was right to be surprised. The day before he made himself scarce after their emotionally intense night. As much as Hiei tried to adjust, there were still times he needed to be on his own and think. For the ferry girl’s benefit, though, he didn’t keep himself holed up in his room for days and days at a time, and he didn’t ignore her completely. The day before, he simply left the room when he awoke and didn’t return until the evening to make sure Botan ate something and then the two of them went off to bed. Botan must have sensed his mood, for she didn’t attempt to converse with him. Instead, they just enjoyed each other’s presence in silence. Absentmindedly, Hiei stroked her shoulder with his thumb, as a way to comfort and reassure her while also keeping himself distracted.

Botan didn’t know what to say to Hiei. The day before, they didn’t speak at all, which was a huge break in their recent routine. Botan wondered if she did or said something to offend Hiei the night before yesterday. It wasn’t until Hiei returned and made them dinner as if nothing had changed that Botan realized that wasn’t true. Still, Hiei didn’t speak with her at all. After dinner, he cleaned up and then joined Botan on the couch. She put on some program she couldn’t recall. While Hiei remained silent, Botan kept herself quiet, unsure of what to say. That uncertainty still lingered in her heart, even with the calm, casual way Hiei stared at her.

“Is…is everything okay?”

Hiei’s relaxed expression contorted into one of confusion. “Of course.”

“Oh,” Botan replied. “Um, okay then. Let me just get you some breakfast.”

Botan was about to stand when Hiei’s voice stopped her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to trouble yourself. I’m not hungry.”

At that, Botan smiled. She could hear the underlying concern in Hiei’s voice. “Nonsense, silly,” she chimed. “Breakfast is important, and you just got back from training. You need energy too.”

“I don’t,” Hiei countered. Botan was about to comment on him being difficult. “Besides, I wasn’t training.”

Now, Botan was confused. “But…you had your sword. I thought…”

“I always have it on me whenever I’m outside,” he told her. He left the ‘just in case’ unspoken as to not worry her. “I was just thinking.”

Pink eyes blinked, a tick the ferry girl usual had whenever she received news she didn’t understand. Maybe it wasn’t the fact that Hiei was thinking that stunned her, but the fact that he openly admitted it to her. “What about?” she asked curiously before she caught herself. “I mean…you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to pry, just—”

“Botan, it’s fine,” Hiei replied without any kind of bothered tone. “You should know.”

“I…I should?”

Hiei answered with a nod. Botan remained quiet, so he decided to reassure her before he broached the topic which had consumed his thoughts the entire morning. “First of all, yesterday wasn’t about you. I had a lot on my mind and needed time to myself to sort through some things. You needn’t act so wary.”

Botan flinched and eyed him guiltily. “I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t know if I upset you again.”

Hiei shook his head. “Nothing like that. All of this is still new to me, being around someone for so long and…feeling something, let alone two people.” His eyes shifted to the edge of the table that hid Botan’s protruding abdomen. “There will always be instances where I need time away. I don’t want you to worry about whether or not I’ll come back. It’s not good for you or him.”

Botan’s expression calmed, and she nodded in agreement. “Of course, I understand that.” She smiled at him. “We all need that sort of time. I guess I still have some anxiety every so often.”

“You’re pregnant,” Hiei reminded her. “That’s the only reason I’m verbalizing this to you. I don’t want you to get into a bad state again.”

His concern was so sincere and sweet that all of Botan’s worries from the day before just left her. “Is that what you were thinking about?”

Hiei, again, shook his head. “No. I was thinking about the future. Koenma said we’d work something out, and Mukuro told me to agree on a parenting plan with you. We haven’t really talked about it.”

Botan’s eyes lit up in amusement. Hiei didn’t understand what was so amusing about it, but then Botan told him, “I was just thinking about that, too. I still have no idea what to do. I mean…I already know that our child would need to grow up here and not in Spirit World, but I still have duties there. And you still have duties in Demon World. I don’t want to take you away from that.”

“One of us has to be here for him,” Hiei stated. His firm tone and candor startled Botan. He voiced the one thing she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud in fear that it would upset Hiei. “When you can’t be, I will be. The same will be the case when I can’t be.”

In theory, it made the most logical sense, but Botan couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment that welled up in her heart. The woman knew it was a matter of time for Hiei to confirm her fear. This was all about the child, and she accepted that. Still, it hurt that if they went by Hiei’s suggestion, she would most likely never see him again, at least not like the way they had spent time together recently. It would only be in passing, maybe parties, holidays, and events. They wouldn’t be a couple anymore. Botan mentally shook herself from her thoughts. Were they even a couple now?

Botan knew that this would probably be what was decided upon, and she accepted it. She didn’t know why she felt so overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not wanting to alert or upset Hiei, she managed to keep her emotions hidden for once and put on a smile. “Exactly my thoughts. Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

Botan stood up abruptly and went to remove her dishes from the table. She needed to put some distance between herself and Hiei before he realized how much she was bothered by the idea of no longer being with him. Of course, Hiei noticed Botan’s distress and was puzzled by her reaction. It was the most practical solution to their problem. There would be times Hiei would need to be in Demon World, and times Botan would be needed in Spirit World. They could spend months at a time in their respective worlds, and months with their son. Hiei didn’t know why Botan was all of a sudden acting so unbalanced. And then, Hiei realized what the woman thought.

She thought the two of them would no longer be whatever the heck they were now.

It would have been so easy for Hiei to speak up and contradict her thoughts. After all he had tried to do, he had no desire to never see the woman again. He still didn’t know fully what he wanted, what he could be. He could not live this mundane life forever. It was not who he was deep inside. He needed to fight, needed the adrenaline rush. Even his current training had become lackluster, but he endured because of the woman and his son.

Botan’s mood shifted. Hiei could already sense that, and a heavy weight settled in the pit of his stomach. It would be so easy to explain the last part of the plan he concocted, settle her fears and dispel any uncertainty he just created. But he couldn’t.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

Botan froze in her task at the sink, shoulders hunched and body tense. “R-really?” she voiced, uncertain. “I thought…”

Hiei steeled himself and asked, “Thought what?”

“N-never mind,” Botan stammered. “Sure, I could use some time outside, and it’s surprisingly beautiful out today, too. Just let me change—”

As Botan walked away, Hiei could hear her labored breathing and frowned. He knew she’d been combatting another side effect, shortness of breath. A walk would be good for them both, but he would be mindful of how the ferry girl faired. If her breathing became too labored, Hiei would make sure she took as many breaks as necessary whether she wanted to or not.

When she left the room, Hiei slid her book over to his side of the table. He read over the parts where it discussed how much his son was developing and smirked. As he glanced over the side effects, he grimaced. Botan had been dealing with the backaches. The other symptoms—headaches, clumsiness, the frequent urination, pregnancy brain, and sleep problems—were an ongoing battle, but they were managing those symptoms well, although Hiei could argue that Botan would disagree. Hopefully, the walk would help her spend some of that energy that kept her up at night.

Botan really enjoyed the walk with Hiei. It had been a while since they were out and about, just the two of them. With her due date approaching quickly, Botan was exhausted and hadn’t really asked to go out much. The girls kept her active, and it was nice to just curl up and cuddle with Hiei. A somber wave passed over Botan toward the end of their walk. Would this be the last time they were like this together?

Hiei hadn’t spoken much about their conversation that morning, which was probably a good thing. Botan didn’t know if she could handle Hiei directly saying that, after the baby was born, they would hardly see each other. There was really no reason she should be so sad, though. Before all of this, Hiei didn’t even intend to visit the baby let alone stay with him for extended periods of time. At least her son would know and have his father. She couldn’t be greedy and ask for more.

“Hey,” Hiei spoke, causing Botan to snap out of her thoughts. She met Hiei’s gaze; the fire demon stared intensely into her eyes. Her pink pools questioned him, and Hiei gestured to a food cart across the street. “You hungry?”

Botan’s stomach growled which effectively answered the question. She laughed lightly and nodded. “I guess I am.”

Hiei’s lip quirked up slightly; the impish grin did strange things to Botan’s insides. Surprisingly, he took her hand and led her to a yakitori stand. The smell of the meat and sauce caused Botan to crave like she had never craved before. The fire demon must have sensed it because he ordered a lot for the two of them. Botan wasn’t even going to ask where he got the money to pay for all of it. It was probably best she didn’t know.

The two walked further away from the stand and found a park. Hiei found a bench for them to sit and share the snack. They still sat in silence, though it was more comfortable than it had been the past couple of days. Botan figured that instead of sulking, she should just enjoy the few moments she had left with her demon lover.

Hiei’s amused chuckle cut through her mind. She looked over to him, both surprised and perplexed. “You have sauce on your face.”

Botan’s eyes widened, and she reached to a random spot on her face, unable to feel anything. Again, Hiei snickered. “Here, let me.”

What Botan was expecting was for Hiei to wipe the sauce away. Instead, the fire demon gently cupped her cheek and pulled her towards him. Slowly, he licked the sauce from her chin and didn’t stop until he reached her lips. Botan accepted his kiss, surprised by how coy Hiei acted in that moment. His thumb gently stroked her neck, and Botan moaned into the kiss. Her eyes snapped open once she remembered where they were. “W-wait!”

Hiei pulled away abruptly, and his lips hovered over Botan’s. He was teasing her, and Botan seriously just wanted to grab him and pull him back. “And here I thought you were a fan of voyeurism,” he joked, and Botan clenched her eyes shut. “But I’m not. Let’s go home.”

Botan’s eyes shot to Hiei once again, again startled. Did she hear correctly? Did Hiei really call the apartment home? Blue brows furrowed in confusion, and she was about to ask what Hiei meant by that, but he hoisted her up before she could. The two of them walked back home as quickly and safely as they could.

Once home, the door nearly slammed open after Botan unlocked it. Hiei was on her the minute they were inside. He held Botan with one arm, kissed her senseless as he used his other to close and lock the door. The two ended up in his bed, still frantically kissing one another. Hiei felt no conflict at all as they gave into their desires. He actually acted playful and enjoyed himself as Botan mewled with desire. They didn’t need to ask where this lead up was going.

A while later, Botan was asleep at Hiei’s side, completely exhausted from their earlier activities. Hiei also felt satisfied and relaxed, his eyes never leaving Botan’s face. She didn’t look as sad as she had been all day. Hiei hoped that his actions could convey what his words could not. He wanted to tell her desperately that he had no intention of fully leaving her, but something still held him back, some worry or fear that still existed inside of him. Even so, he wasn’t done with her yet, didn’t think he ever could be.

Absentmindedly, Hiei’s fingers glided across her bare shoulder, the repetitive motion lulling him into slumber. At that moment, Hiei realized that there hadn’t been much activity on their son’s part either for the past hour, surprising considering the boy usually made his presence known during these moments.

Hiei recalled one thing from Botan’s guide from that morning, now that he thought about it. Hm, guess the motion really does rock you to sleep. Hiei mentally chuckled. Of course, he knew the baby reacted other ways in the past. If the book was correct, thankfully, their son was not aware of what was going on, just that there was something going on that alerted him.

Hiei’s hand slid down Botan’s body and rested on her abdomen. Mentally, he communicated, Good night, son. Then, he joined the woman and their baby in slumber. It was the most at peace Hiei had felt in a very long time.

Chapter Text

Cold air whirred and blew in from outside. Botan shivered in her sleep, and Hiei’s face scrunched at the feeling of the wind. The chilly sensations immediately woke him up. He raised his temperature slightly when he noticed the discomfort on Botan’s face. Despite the warnings that heat could irritate her, Hiei would rather she be warm than cold, especially when she wasn’t wearing anything underneath the sheet.

Botan relaxed into his body and sighed in relief. Only then did Hiei relax and nuzzle his nose against her bare shoulder. The fire demon had grown to be completely comfortable in the ferry girl’s presence, and he enjoyed these peaceful moments. Watching the woman sleep was becoming one of his favorite pastimes. He needed to take moments like this when he could. After all, she would give birth very soon, in just a little over the month. They would have much less time together afterwards.

Hiei grimaced as he remembered Botan’s reaction to his words the previous week, about their parenting plan. Ever since, she seemed sadder and more withdrawn, but she still tried to spend all her time with Hiei, as much as she could. In fact, she had become clingier. Hiei normally would have dissuaded that reaction. It was not like the woman he’d come to know over the past years. Botan was strong and independent. Calm in a crisis. Jovial and kind. Hiei had grown accustomed to that.

He should have told her all of his thoughts. At least one of them needed to be with their son at all times, but it didn’t mean they’d never see each other, that they’d never be together again. Words both Yukina and Kuwabara spoke stuck with the fire demon when he thought about future plans. His sister said he needed to make every minute count, and Kuwabara suggested nurturing the relationship so that the friendship, the companionship they’d developed, would remain between them when he returned to be with her and the child.

“Mm, Hiei…” Botan murmured in her sleep. The fire demon held her close to him and listened to whatever she had to say, whether awake or not. “Don’t go.”

Normally when Botan spoke this way in her sleep or he felt her emotions, Hiei felt immense guilt. Back then, he truly planned to leave her and the child to fend for themselves. Now, when he heard it, he felt the guilt from not telling her what he wanted, but not because he’d ever truly leave.

“Rest,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m right here.”

Botan yawned from her chair. She was out with the girls to shop for winter clothing now. The weather was becoming so cold, and all of Botan’s clothes from her past visits could not fit over her swollen belly. Some of her fall clothing could be used during the winter, but there were some things she knew she should get.

Her guide recommended shopping for layering tops so that she could remove or add layers whenever her body temperature changed. Lately, she’d been having a difficult time keeping comfortable. She was so cold most of the time, so she’d dress warmly, and then she’d get hot and want to wear summer clothing. It was getting to be too much to get up and get change. The layering tops would help with that. She could wear some short-sleeved tops and use the layering top when she felt cold, and she wouldn’t feel so constricted.

Yukina helped her pick out a few ponchos and sweater dresses that would be good for the cold weather and snow. The ice maiden could easily judge the most comfortable fabrics that would be warm enough. Botan expected no less from a woman who lived her life in the snowiest of places.

Botan picked out a few shirts that could go with the sweater Hiei gave her. It was still one of her favorite things to wear, soft and comforting. It was a neutral, somewhat chocolate color that went with a great deal of colors.

“How about these bottoms?” Keiko suggested as she rummaged through a rack of maternity pants. “I know you’ll have the baby soon, but these look both comfortable and heavy enough for the cold.”

Botan eyed the black pants with the elastic waistband. The fabric used to cover the waistband was soft and stretchy. “These are great,” Botan chimed. “Thanks, Keiko.”

The brunette smiled and started looking through the pants with Botan to find her size. “So, how are things going? I know we hung out a couple weeks ago, but you’ve been oddly quiet today. Did something happen?”

Botan sighed and shook her head. She wasn’t sure if she should tell the girls, especially Yukina, her doubts about hers and Hiei’s future. When last they spoke, everything was fine. Hiei and her spent practically every minute they were alone together, bonding over their child and nurturing intimacy between them. Now, things were still the same, but Botan’s thoughts lingered on the fact that her relationship with the man she loved was on borrowed time.

“I’m fine,” she assured them. “I’m just tired and feeling more drained than usual.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it was all she wanted to discuss at the moment.

The girls could read right through her, though, but they didn’t want to pry too much and risk upsetting Botan. Instead, Shizuru decided to diffuse Botan’s mood. “Well, there’s not much more to look at aside for those maternity swimsuits, which at this point just seem like a waste. I say we get you and the kid something to eat before you keel over on us.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Botan said with a smile. “Just let me grab a few pairs of the warm tights and I’ll be ready to go.”

After the foursome left the shop, they turned a corner and headed to the food court for some quick meals. Botan was relieved no one pressed her in the clothing store about what had her attention. Honestly, she just needed to be with her friends and enjoy their company. She didn’t want to think too seriously.

Instead, she needed to focus on herself and the baby and the fun outing with her friends. A smile found its way to her face as she imagined taking her little one with her on these excursions to find him adorable little clothes and toys. Very soon that dream would be a reality.

Out of nowhere, Botan felt off-balance. She began to fall before she even knew what was happening. Her ankle gave out, and she hit the ground and rolled over. Her friends were all at her side, along with a crowd of people. A good Samaritan called for an ambulance and reported the fall. Botan was just in a daze, in shock over what just happened. She hadn’t fallen since that moment with the stairs, but then it was her own stupidity.

W-what is wrong with me?

A strange sensation washed over Hiei, the swish of his sword the only sound around him. The air was stale for a moment. His eyes narrowed; he sensed danger. His immediate reaction was to grip his sword tighter, and the sound of running footsteps towards him alerted him.

Hiei turned, sword in hand, prepared to kill whatever was headed towards him. At the last second, he noticed his ‘attacker’ and managed to pull back just as a familiar redhead yelped.

“Hey, watch it with that thing!” Kuwabara yelled, breathing heavily, though whether or not it was from the running or the near-death experience was unknown. “I hoped you’d be here.”

Black brows furrowed; the situation seemed strange and unsettling. “Why were you trying to find me?”

“Yukina called me just now,” Kuwabara said, his voice uneasy. “Everything is fine, Hiei.” Heated, crimson eyes met gray. “The girls were out shopping, and Botan fell. They went with her to the hospital.”

Panic flooded Hiei, his eyes wide as saucers as he took in Kuwabara’s words. The image of Botan lying unconscious at the bottom of the stairs struck him. He knew she wouldn’t be foolish enough to try that again, but was she hurt? What about the baby?

The Jagan glowed brightly beneath his bandana, and Hiei breathed a sigh of relief. Botan was awake, talking to the person in the ambulance. Yukina was with her, too, in the ambulance. Hiei remembered the terrible ride to the hospital where Botan was knocked out and he completely ignored the aide trying to get information. He couldn’t hear what the ferry was saying now, but he could sense her worry and fear.

“We should get to the hospital,” Kuwabara stated, snapping Hiei out of watching the woman. “I’ll go with you.”

Hiei wanted to snap at the psychic that he could get there himself and much quicker alone but, for some reason, the fire demon found himself craving the company. Maybe it was his own nerves elevated, his focus solely on getting there and not on his surroundings. Even if Hiei doubted the spirit swordsman’s strength and skills in the past, he knew the human was a good ally to have, though it made him ill to admit it.

“Fine,” Hiei begrudgingly replied.

When the two men arrived at the hospital, they were directed to the cubicle where Botan and Yukina were waiting for information from the emergency room doctor. Yukina saw Hiei and Kuwabara first and went to greet them. She informed them of what they already knew. She, Botan, and their friends went shopping. When they left a store, Botan’s ankle gave out and she fell. A stranger called for help, and they rode to the hospital. Only one of the girls could go with Botan, so Yukina volunteered and sent Shizuru and Keiko home. Then Shizuru called her brother and he got Hiei there.

“We’re just waiting on the x-rays,” Yukina calmly stated, “although I can already tell you nothing is broken. It was just a sprain, and I already healed the injury.”

Hiei approached the ice maiden and said, “Thank you.” He looked at Botan, no anger but concern in his eyes. “You and the baby?”

“W-we’re fine,” Botan answered before she shifted her gaze to Yukina. “Right?”

Yukina gently squeezed her shoulder and smiled. “Right.”

Botan breathed out a sigh of relief, one Hiei probably would have shed if not for an audience. The ferry girl met the fire demon’s eyes. “We’re also waiting for Hanako. She’s delivering a baby right now, but the doctors assured us she’ll be here soon.”

Hiei nodded and then felt like the room was growing a bit stuffy and crowded. Honestly, the fire demon just wanted to be alone with Botan for a moment. As if sensing this, Yukina stood up and walked over to Kuwabara. “We should probably go, Kazuma,” she suggested. “Botan’s in good hands.”

“Yeah,” Kuwabara agreed. He looked between both Hiei and Botan. “If either of you need anything, you can count on me, all of us.”

That made Botan grin. “We know. Thank you, both of you. I’ll call you tomorrow, Yukina.”

Yukina headed to the door but stopped as she reached Hiei. She placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll see you both soon.”

Hiei nodded but remained silent. His gaze never left Botan. Using the Jagan again, he sensed their child’s activity. Everything seemed normal. Their son was unaffected by the fall. Looking into Botan’s eyes, though, told Hiei that she was still overwhelmed and shaken up.

He slowly approached her and stood beside her. Botan looked up, her eyes filled with wariness. He wondered what she was thinking, if she was worried he’d be angry like last time. “How are you feeling?”

“Scared,” Botan admitted. Her body shivered at the admission.

That was not the answer Hiei was expecting. “Why?”

“Because,” she murmured timidly, “I have no idea what happened to me.”

“I can answer that,” a familiar voice spoke.

Botan and Hiei looked to the entrance of the cubicle, and the ferry girl instantly relaxed. “Hanako…I thought you were with someone else. Is everything okay?”

Hanako smiled. Botan was so caring and concerned for others. “Everything is fine, dear. Let’s talk about you. The doctor filled me in. How is your ankle feeling?”

“Better,” Botan replied. “Yukina healed it after they took x-rays, but it wasn’t broken anyway. I really just want to know…she said so, but I just need to know the baby is okay.”

“I’m sure he is,” Hanako assured her, “but let me ask you a few questions first.” Botan nodded. “When you fell, did you land on your stomach?”

Botan thought back and shook her head. She was able to turn her body to land on her rear instead. “No.”

“Do you feel any serious pain in your pelvis, stomach, or uterus?” Hanako put on a pair of gloves and checked the bedding.

“No pain,” Botan replied.

“Good, and you aren’t leaking any fluids onto the bedding. Is the baby still moving around?”

Botan nodded. “I guess the fall riled him up.”

Hanako smiled at Botan and spoke in a calming voice, “Then you have nothing to worry about. Your stomach is strong enough to withstand some toughness to protect your baby, and you didn’t even fall in a way that would hurt him. It would take a severe blow to get through all your body’s protection for the baby. Try not to stress about his safety. However, we do need to discuss the fall.”

“Will it happen again?” Hiei asked, his voice a neutral tone, but inside he felt a little panic over Hanako’s final statement.

“Hopefully not,” Hanako stated, addressing Hiei. “Accidental falls can happen later during pregnancy. Because the belly grows, Botan’s center of gravity is off, and it’s harder to stand upright, especially on uneven surfaces, so be careful on sidewalks and curbs.” She met Botan’s gaze. “Your joints are also loosening up because of a hormone called relaxin.”

“Relaxin?” Botan repeated. “What does that do?”

“When it comes to delivery, it’s a very important hormone,” Hanako explained. “It allows the joints and connective tissue in the pelvis to stretch. It makes it easier to push the baby out, but it’s in your system now so it’s loosening joints, like your ankles for example. It’s definitely possible to stumble and trip, so make sure to avoid slippery areas. That will be a big issue as we approach winter. Wear shoes with a grip that are flat. Hold onto railings on stairs and don’t carry heavy loads so you can see your feet as best you can. Also, try to avoid walking on uneven ground and grassy areas. That’s about all the advice I can give you. Certainly don’t be afraid to go out and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just take things slow. Everything is going to be okay.”

After hearing all of this, Botan felt much more relieved than before. “Thank you, Hanako. I’ll remember that.”

The doctor smiled again and said, “If you need anything, as a doctor or as a friend, please let me know. The ER doctor cleared you to go. Like you said, you didn’t break anything. I’ll get the nurse to get you the discharge paperwork.”

The woman left Hiei and Botan alone. The ferry girl was calm. It rubbed off on Hiei enough, but he was still a bit on edge. He knew for sure that both Yukina and Hanako were right. Their son was fine, and everything would be okay. Still, he didn’t want Botan to endure this ever again. The only way he could personally ensure that was if he was there to protect her.

Hiei’s gaze shifted to Botan, and he was surprised to see tears well up in her eyes. The woman began to cry, and Hiei felt a heaviness inside of him. His stomach dropped and his chest felt tight. He took her hand. “Botan, what’s wrong?” he asked. “The witch said everything was fine. You and the boy are okay.”

“I know that,” Botan breathed out. “It’s just… Oh God, I don’t know why I’m crying.”

The ache in Hiei’s chest began to ebb away with the confession. At least it was mostly the woman’s hormones that had her upset. He ran his hand through her hair. “It’s all right,” he assured her. “You will never have to go through this again.”

Botan sniffled and wiped her eyes. “What? What do you mean?”

“When you go out with the others again, I’ll be with you,” Hiei declared. “I won’t let you fall.”

The ferry girl gawped at him. Hiei was confused by her surprise. “But…what about your training?”

It was Hiei’s turn to stare at the woman in stunned stupor. What?

Seeing Hiei’s confusion, Botan elaborated. “I love going out with the girls. It’s relaxing and helps me unwind. Your training does that for you. I don’t want you giving up what you love, what’s important to you.”

Understanding flooded Hiei; he was touched by Botan’s consideration of his needs and wants. She was the one who was hurt today, the one who felt fear and pain even though she was now healed, and she was concerned over him? This was not the first time the ferry girl’s selfless nature baffled him; he figured that would never stop. Still, if he could be there for her and put her mind at ease, he would.

“I will train,” he assured her, “when you are safe and secure at home and I know I can get to you should something happen.” Pink eyes softened. “When you are out, my place is with you.”

“Hiei…” Botan breathed out, amazed.

Hiei gently pulled Botan forward and captured her lips with his. He handled her tenderly, and Botan felt pure bliss. For a moment, her fears over what would happen after the delivery seemed to fade. It was as if she could feel all the reassurances the fire demon could give her.

“Eh hem.”

Botan and Hiei pulled apart, their eyes glossed over as they turned their heads to see a nurse standing in the doorway holding a clipboard. Hiei moved away from Botan so the nurse could come in and give her the discharge papers. Botan filled out the paperwork and then stood up when she and Hiei were alone again. She smiled at him and took his hand. “Let’s go home.”

After the fall, Hiei kept close to Botan as promised. Whenever she walked anywhere or met up with the girls, he was there. It was as if they became a package deal. Their friends took notice.

To help Botan alleviate the stress of the week, Shizuru and Keiko planned a day for them to visit a new spa together. They were going for facials and hoped it would be refreshing for the ferry girl. Hiei stood by and watched as Botan, his sister, and the two human women conversed and joked around, lifting Botan’s spirits.

Botan was thankful for the facial. Her skin felt incredibly oily from her increased hormones and very dry and dehydrated at the same time. It felt much more sensitive than before the pregnancy. When Shizuru told her they found a place that knew all the off-limit chemicals that could affect her or be too abrasive, Botan was excited. The whole purpose for her was to relax, and she really could feel her energy return and her concerns melt away.

Even though Hiei and Botan had done certain spa activities at home and gone to that spa getaway, this all seemed too foreign to Hiei. During their trip, Hiei still felt nervous and distrustful of any human that came around them, but Botan never seemed to have that reluctance. Hiei didn’t fear humans. They couldn’t do anything to him; he didn’t understand his apprehension around them. If anything, Botan was in a vulnerable state, should have been more alert, but he had to admit it was nice to see the woman relaxing for a change.

Hiei could hear the spa workers explaining the products to the women. Whatever goop was applied to their faces was supposed to renew cells and oxygenize and hydrate the skin. Despite the ferry girl dragging the fire demon into these rituals at home, Hiei still really didn’t see the merit in these methods.

Regardless, Botan enjoyed them. He didn’t know if it was simply the feeling the facials gave her or the fact that it was some bonding activity. Even now, Botan socialized with her friends. As Hiei watched, his lips threatened to twitch upwards as Botan laughed at something Yukina said. The two then jumped into a lively conversation. They spoke about the baby, about Yukina’s uncertain relationship, and then unimportant anecdotes about the human realm and things they both liked about it.

It never failed to amaze Hiei seeing the two most important women in his life getting along so well. It strangely pleased him; unfamiliar emotions flourished and spread throughout Hiei’s entire being.

The next morning, Hiei awoke to the woman cuddled against him. Botan fell asleep in her room the night before while they were watching some pointless movie on the television. Hiei left her for a few hours to train, but when he returned to the apartment, he had no desire to go to his own room. Carefully, he glided into her bed. The woman responded instantly; she wrapped as much of herself as she possibly could around him. At least she was mostly on her side of the bed so Hiei could move without disturbing her.

Hiei sat up and wiped the remainder of sleep from his eyes. He was physically and mentally exhausted. Although he had grown to accept this ordeal, his mind still remained troubled. His eyes lingered on Botan’s sleeping form. Her due date was fast-approaching, her symptoms intolerable most days. The two of them were preparing for an arduous experience. Botan’s attention was on the birthing of their son. Hiei knew it would be up to him to solve the rest, and some days he didn’t know where to start.

While Botan continued to sleep, Hiei took out his guidebook. He’d taken to reading it whenever the bitter doubt began to flood him. In the past, he thought the book would be useless, but he had come to appreciate the advice. It seemed humans actually did have some insight into his situation. He still held his prejudices against the human race, but he was slowly coming to the realization that humans and their world weren’t all that bad.

“Week 32 is here. This week is a reminder to start shopping around for a pediatrician for your child.”

Hiei’s brow raised. What the heck was a pediatrician?

“Chances are you and your partner have spent more time in medical offices over the last eight months than you ever have in your lives,” Hiei read. “Now, it’s time to move on to another set of offices where you’ll spend a lot of time in the years moving forward.

“In looking for a doctor for your child…” Hiei paused in reading. At least the book defined ‘pediatrician’ for him. “…proximity is important. If an emergency arises, you want to be close enough to the pediatrician, especially if the baby has a fever and a storm is raging outside.”

Hiei grimaced. He hated storms, and he really hoped that the child would take on the immune system of a demon. The fire demon didn’t want to admit that he was worried about the baby’s resilience ever since he heard the human heartbeat. He didn’t know what he’d do if the child ever got sick.

“It’s highly important to find one who is a good fit for your family and your baby.”

The book went on to explain how to shop around, who to ask, but truthfully, there was only one person they could ask. The psychic who ensnared Kurama was the only one in the medical profession Hiei knew they could trust. Whether he liked her or not, she was aware of the supernatural, dealt with situations like his and Botan often. Certainly, the witch would know where to go. He made a mental note to broach the topic next time they were to meet with her.

“Mm,” he heard Botan moan as she stretched. Hiei looked down and found Botan smiling up at him with sleepy eyes. “Good morning, Hiei.”

“Hn,” the fire demon replied in acknowledgement. “What do you want for breakfast?”

Botan closed her eyes for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t know. Not really craving anything today. What do you have planned?”

“For breakfast?”

“No, for the day? The girls are planning to take me to a movie.” Hiei hesitated for a moment, but Botan noticed. “Do you not want to go out?”

“It’s not that,” Hiei rejected quickly before Botan had too much time to question his hesitance. He cast his guidebook a wary glance and sighed as he closed it. “I was reading something, and I realized there’s a lot I need to take care of here before the child arrives.”

Botan’s curiosity took over. “Like what?” She looked to Hiei’s book. “And why didn’t my guidebook recommend anything.”

Hiei chuckled wryly. “Because your focus is carrying the child, woman,” he indicated. “I need to take care of setting everything up here. I have to set up his room.”

All of a sudden, curiosity left Botan and panic set in. Hiei wondered why, but Botan’s words quickly explained it. “How did I not think of that before?” she cried frantically, attempting to push herself up but failing. “I told you…I keep not thinking of these things. What if I’m this terrible at parenting?”

“You’re not terrible,” Hiei assuaged. He pulled her close to him to keep her from moving more than she needed to until she was calm. “It’s just the pregnancy brain. Believe me; if your mind wasn’t clouded from all this, you’d be the first one to put together a child’s nursery.”

Botan relaxed in Hiei’s arms, enjoying the peace he brought her. She cuddled as close to him as her body allowed, arms wrapped tightly around him. It was nice, the fact that she could be this close to Hiei without him pushing her away or stiffening up. Although the fire demon still had his moments, Botan knew he felt more comfortable than he ever had before. She also knew deep down that all those moments he came to her was his way of trying to be what she needed him to be. He worked so hard. She only hoped she could return the favor somehow one day.

“I’ll see if the guys can come and help us,” Botan suggested.

“Hn,” Hiei grunted in agreement. “You should still go to the movie.” Botan pulled away from him and looked surprised. “You’ve been very careful, and you haven’t had another incident this week. I’m sure, for a couple hours, you’ll be okay with the others. You’ll be sitting anyway.”

Botan smiled. It sounded like Hiei was encouraging her not to be overly worried. She appreciated it, coming from him especially. “Alright,” she replied. “I’ll go.”

Hiei nodded. “We’ll handle the big stuff like the furniture, and you and I can do the little stuff together.”

“Thank you,” the ferry girl practically sang. “I really appreciate that.”

Botan kissed Hiei’s lips, a lingering peck that lasted more than a minute. Hiei savored it, deciding not to engage physically aside from the kiss. When it ended, he released the woman. He knew she wanted to call the others and get their day started. As for him, it was finally time to clear out the living room. It was beginning to feel overcrowded with all the baby stuff still all over the place.

At least today he’d feel like he was contributing something to his son.

Later on, everyone arrived at the apartment. The girls were ready to take Botan out, and Yukina pulled Hiei aside to assure him she’d keep Botan safe. It was strange to the fire demon that his sister was now becoming the protective one when he had always wanted to watch over her. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to this new dynamic between them, but for right now it was appreciated. At least Hiei knew Botan would be safe if he didn’t join her. Yukina’s word was the only thing keeping him from worrying while she was out.

Hiei looked around the living room. He, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara spent the last hour getting everything for the nursery separated out from the everyday stuff. Eventually, it was time to select a room for the nursery. As much as Hiei had mentally prepared himself to do this physical labor, he never knew how hard it would be. No one asked him yet, but Hiei came to the living room to avoid looking into the rooms. After he brought a furniture box to the hall, he caught sight of them, and then realized he had to make a choice.

“So, which room are we making the baby’s room?” Yusuke finally voiced. His voice was so nonchalant and unassuming, like he didn’t just ask the world’s most loaded question.

What Hiei realized moments ago was that he would be permanently sharing a room with Botan moving forward. He swallowed, feeling a wave of panic consume him. The fire demon didn’t understand why he was freaking out. He and Botan were already in a good, secure place and already sleeping together every night. Whenever he would return from Demon World in the future, Hiei planned to be with her as much time as he could be. Maybe it was because it felt like a dream sometimes, those moments and the fact that he was with her. He just didn’t know which to choose. His room had become comfortable to him, but the woman’s room was hers; it looked and felt like her every inch.

No, he didn’t know what to choose, with any of it.

Kuwabara noticed the shift in Hiei, his brow furrowed for a second before he told Yusuke and Kurama, “Just start figuring out what we’re going to put together first.”

Before anyone could respond, Kuwabara pulled Hiei out of the apartment. Hiei glared at the human who snatched him outside, his crimson eyes strangely filled with distrust. Kuwabara just grinned and suggested, “Why don’t we go for a walk? Let’s get some fresh air.”

“Hn,” Hiei replied as he crossed his arms. “Whatever.”

The fire demon’s dismissive attitude didn’t perturb Kuwabara in the slightest. At first, the redhead kept silent as the twosome walked without some destination. After about twenty minutes of silence, the human finally dove into rough waters. “What’s going on with you?”

“It’s none of your concern,” Hiei monotonously replied. “Nothing is wrong.”

Kuwabara gave the fire demon a knowing look. “Then why did you looked so freaked out when Urameshi asked where to put the crib?” Hiei didn’t respond, but his eyes narrowed slightly. “I thought you were okay about the baby.”

Hiei’s attention snapped to Kuwabara faster than lightning. “It has nothing to do with that!” After the words left Hiei’s mouth, his jaw dropped slightly in surprise over his own outburst. He took such offense to the reminder that there was a time he didn’t think his son should exist, that once he accepted the boy’s existence, he still had wanted to be so far away from him. The guilt and anger towards himself for all the misplaced disgust of the child and Botan… Hiei truly despised himself for all of it.

The almost observant gaze of the redhead irritated Hiei. Surprisingly enough, the once oafish human was becoming more and more like Kurama every day. The difference was Kuwabara’s human empathy, contrasting Kurama’s amusement and condescension.

Still, Hiei chose to insult Kuwabara. “Nothing is wrong. You’re a fool.”

Kuwabara took no offense. He could tell Hiei was just trying to play off his anxiety. “You can call me whatever you want, but I know something is going on with you.” Hiei scoffed derisively. “I could sense your anxiety spike when Urameshi asked you which room would be yours and Botan’s.”

Reluctant to give the psychic anymore to go on, Hiei remained silent. It was becoming much more difficult for anyone in the group to hide anything from the human. Although, truthfully, Kuwabara’s advice had been helpful in the past few months. The fire demon sought him out for guidance at least once, not including the unwarranted yet truthful advice he threw on the unwitting demon.

A sigh of resignation escaped Hiei as he chose to finally confide his issue in Kuwabara. “Sharing a room with the woman,” he began, “it’s happening too fast.”

Kuwabara was surprised by that, especially when Hiei once said he and Botan were sleeping together. “You and Botan have slept in the same room together since Yusuke’s wedding, right?”

Hiei nodded. “We’ve been going between our two rooms.”

“Then what’s the problem?” the human asked. “If you two have been sharing each other’s room and sleeping together, what makes this any different?”

Hiei paused in his stride which caused Kuwabara to follow suit. Crimson and gray met, and Hiei spoke gruffly. “The finality of it all.”

Kuwabara understood and calmly stated, “The fact that the two of you are finally together.” Hiei nodded. “Hey, we can set up the nursery another day if you want…until you have time to adjust. We aren’t going anywhere.”

Hiei glared at him in response. “I’m not a child. Don’t coddle me.”

Kuwabara sighed and shook his head. “Why does someone so stubborn have to be Yukina’s brother?” he huffed.

Hiei’s eyes widened almost comically. Did everyone know that his sister knew about their connection? He glared up at the psychic, but Kuwabara simply glanced ahead as if he didn’t just say something so earth-shattering.

“Don’t give me that look,” Kuwabara remarked without looking at the fire demon. “I’ve known for years.”

That didn’t make Hiei feel any better. “And you felt it right not to accost me and demand I be there for my sister?” The oaf certainly made a stink when Hiei was revealed to be the father of Botan’s baby.

“I thought about it,” Kuwabara admitted, “but I thought against it. Yukina told me that you two were separated, and she told me why. I still don’t know why you kept it a secret, but Yukina wanted to keep it a secret, too, so I stayed quiet. No offense, but I felt you deserved it for telling her the guy was dead.”

“Hn,” Hiei grunted.

“Anyway, I’m not trying to coddle you or tell you how to run your life. You’re my friend, and you’re Yukina’s brother, and both those things mean a great deal to me. I’m offering advice and sympathy, that’s all. I’m just trying to help.”

Hiei was silent for a moment, letting Kuwabara’s words sink in. He never truly considered the psychic a friend. They were begrudging teammates for the longest time, so there was a strange loyalty between them, but Hiei always detested the human. He found him to be an impediment when they competed in the Dark Tournament, though he respected the way he handled himself at the very end. Hiei saw a completely different side of Kuwabara during the Sensui case. When the chips were down, and his world was in danger, Kuwabara truly threw everything he had. When Yusuke died…that battle against Sensui bonded the two demons and the human together in a way that could never fully be understood. The fire demon didn’t see the human much after that, but there would always be that strange bond, the one that brought Hiei to Kuwabara when he didn’t know what to do with himself and his situation with Botan.

“Listen,” Kuwabara gently ordered, “you and I are two totally different people from completely different worlds, so I know my advice might not hold weight, but I do understand what you’re going through. I fell in love with your sister the instant I saw her on that videotape. I know that sounds ridiculous, and I know as a brother it sounds like something someone who was only into your sister’s looks would say, but I don’t know. It just happened. All of a sudden, my psychic abilities connected us. I could hear her, talk to her. I even saw her memories, and it broke my heart to know that she was suffering. All I wanted was to get her out of there and protect her.”

Hiei listened intently with eyes that appeared calm, but inside he could imagine them widening as he heard this tale. Despite all the years he’d known the oaf and despised all the times he flirted and gushed over his sister, the fire demon never realized that the psychic formed a mental connection with Yukina. It always irritated him, the way Kuwabara behaved and how Yukina always reacted completely oblivious.

“Looking back, I can see why it always irritated you when I was around her. You didn’t like me, didn’t know me. I used to think you had a crush on Yukina.” Hiei’s eyes narrowed, and he grimaced. “Urameshi always tried to get me to shut up over it, but it wasn’t until Yukina told me about you being her brother that I realized how awkward that was.”

“Why did she tell you?” Hiei asked. He couldn’t imagine his sister telling just anyone about it.

Kuwabara looked over to Hiei and said, “She told me when she explained why she didn’t understand me.” Hiei faltered slightly. That was exactly how he felt about Botan all the time. “For years, I’d been telling her how I felt. I noticed she would always politely smile, but I hoped eventually one day she’d give me a chance. I realized one day that wasn’t going to happen. I don’t even remember what it was I said, but I was being serious, and she laughed at me. She thought it was the funniest thing, and I was really hurt by that. She caught on to the hurt and we continued on like nothing happened, but both of us were quiet.

“When we were alone, Yukina asked if she offended me,” Kuwabara explained, expression dark as if he hated thinking about that time. “I was honest with her and told her she did. It really upset her, and she begged me to tell her what she did. I refused at first, but I could see she was getting upset so I tried to calm her down. She hugged me so tightly, like she was afraid I was about to walk away and leave her. She wouldn’t let go all night. It was both the best and worst thing that ever happened with us.”

Hiei felt a little awkward, hearing about such a personal matter that belonged to his sister, but he could see a lot of similarities between himself and Kuwabara, surprisingly. “How did you explain how she offended you?”

“It was hard,” Kuwabara revealed. “I kept trying to explain, but Yukina didn’t really understand until I told her that I loved her. That seemed to be the explanation she needed. She looked like death when I told her, and I was afraid she was going to reject me right there. Her gaze softened and she finally explained about herself, your people, what happened with you and your mother. I was in shock, honestly.

“I kept trying to tell her I cared about her and wanted to date her,” Kuwabara laughed, delving deeper into what was said between him and Yukina, “and the words were so foreign to her, but when I said I loved her,” he shook his head, “she told me that scared her. Because love was practically forbidden in her culture so much so that your family was targeted because of it. I thought that was why it scared her, but what had her so worried was that she thought she’d never be able to love me back that way, didn’t know if she could love anyone that way. She said she knew familial love, that we were all her family, and she didn’t want to lose us, and she feared if she couldn’t love me the way I loved her that she’d have nowhere else to turn to, she’d be alone again. After a lot of assurances that that wouldn’t happen, I explained to her I just wanted to spend more time with her, and if she didn’t ever love me in the romantic sense, I’d still always be there because I adored her. Even if she’d rejected me, I didn’t care. As long as she knew I loved her and let me be in her life, I would always be happy.”

Hiei shivered when he thought back to the time he and Botan argued about the fact that she kept Yukina’s knowledge of their relationship from him. The two fell into bed again, for the second time, and when they finally spoke again, Botan expressed similar sentiments that Kuwabara expressed to his sister.

"I just…I want to know if I have to go back to pretending there's nothing there, that I don't have feelings for you, or if we can just simply be together."

"You know my position in life, what I'm capable of and what our people foretold. Are you that daft that you would want that around a child? I'm a felon, a killer and a thief, and nothing more. My only purpose in life is to destroy."

"You done? You and I both know that isn't true. That's just an excuse you're clinging to."

"I can't be what you want. I can't give you a heart I don't have."

"You don't have to give me empty promises of a future. I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me. All I ask is that you be there for the baby. That would be enough for me."

Yukina and Kuwabara really did understand, Hiei concluded, his gaze both soft and a little more accepting. All this time, he thought that the human was just being his pathetic self, but all the advice he’d given him came from a place of understanding Botan’s position while also understanding Hiei’s. Yukina truly knew about the complexities of these foreign feelings and how to manage a relationship, though she fell into it much easier than Hiei did.

As Hiei thought this, he thought back to Kuwabara’s admission of the connection he shared with Yukina from the very beginning. Truthfully, Hiei never thought about whatever connection he had with Botan. The day they met was when Hiei contacted her through the Jagan to warn her of Keiko’s kidnapping. She was hurt in the altercation, but Hiei never paid her much mind other than using her as a taunt against Yusuke. He thought she was stupid for putting herself in harm’s way for another, again and again as time went on. Their interactions were minimal on Hanging Neck Island save her rejected attempt to heal him after his match against Zeru and the times he threatened her. Of course, his Jagan needed to be focused on her to be so attuned to her thoughts, meaning the connection he formed with her that first meeting never severed.

Hiei’s eyes widened as clarity washed over him. Had he always been connected to the woman, always drawn to her, just like Kuwabara had been to Yukina, and never known it?

As if hearing his thoughts, Kuwabara said, “You know, I always kind of had the feeling something would happen with you and Botan. I mean not back when we were working together. The two of you were and probably still are complete opposites. It wasn’t until we all started hanging out at those parties at Genkai’s or other gatherings. The two of you were always together at some point, and you spoke more to her than you did anyone else. Sure, it was usually only a few sentences, but that was more than I ever heard you say even when you weren’t insulting me.” Kuwabara grinned fondly at the memories, though Hiei was uncertain as to why. “I’m just glad you stuck around for her. I know it’s not easy for you.”

A weight seemed to be lifted from Hiei over those words. For all the hell Kuwabara gave him in the beginning, those annoying lectures about how he needed to be there for the woman, never would Hiei have guessed that the psychic understood the challenges he faced.

“I guess you’re not as much of a fool as I previously thought,” Hiei haughtily said. Kuwabara turned to flash a heatless glare and found a smirk on the fire demon’s face. “But then again, I was babysitting.”

Kuwabara relaxed and snickered. “Call it what you will, but I think deep down you secretly respected me.”

“I did,” Hiei replied. Kuwabara perked up. “I respected that you were a complete moron.”

“Hey!”

Hiei chuckled, amused by the human’s reaction. Seriously, he stated, “Like I said, you’re not as much of a fool as I thought.” Now more indignant, Kuwabara was about to retort, but Hiei continued on, and his next words prevented Kuwabara’s from responding with his own insults. “We’ll clear out my room for the baby. I’ll move into hers.”

Kuwabara blinked, dazed, but then he regained his composure and smiled. He simply responded, “Okay.”

With the decision made, there was nothing holding Hiei back from working on the nursery any longer. Still feeling a little unsettled, he stood up from the park bench with new drive and determination to override those uncertain feelings. He and the psychic trekked back to the apartment. They had to finish the nursery before Botan returned home.

Botan returned home to a quiet house. She wasn’t expecting that when the others were there earlier. Truthfully, she thought everyone would still be over, but the apartment seemed completely empty.

The ferry girl knew Hiei must be home, so she waddled across the living room, to the hallway, and down the hall to Hiei’s room. She just knew she’d find him there.

She didn’t find Hiei in his room. In fact, she didn’t find Hiei’s room at all! Instead of the familiar white walls and simple, minimalist décor, the walls were now a comforting blue, and a crib was in the middle of the room. Botan made her way inside, staring at everything in awe. Hiei and the guys did a lot! The dresser was set up as was the changing table. The cute little mobile with stars and dragons that Shizuru gave at the baby shower hung over the crib. The bedding was all set up, and there was a rocking chair by the window. Tears pricked at Botan’s eyes. She knew Hiei was planning to set up the baby’s room, but she assumed he’d practice the same spartan habits he was used to. He made the room simply perfect.

The woman jumped when arms wrapped around her waist but relaxed when Hiei’s hands planted on her stomach. He leaned his head against her shoulder. “Like it?” he tentatively asked, a slight hesitation in his tone.

Botan didn’t understand the hesitation at all. Hiei went completely out of his way to give the baby a little paradise. She figured she’d have to design the room to her liking later on. Honestly, she already knew she needed to get special permission to paint. Hiei had obviously done so, and it meant that he was planning for them to reside in the apartment for a long while.

“Like it?” she repeated. “No, I love it, Hiei.” She placed her hands on top of his and squeezed them. She turned to face him with a bright smile and teary eyes. “Thank you so much!”

At this point Hiei was used to her tears, though it still always left him feeling a bit unsettled. He learned to accept her tears of joy, although he would gently wipe them away. This time was no different, and after he rid her of her tears, he guided her forehead to meet his. They remained like this, enjoying the silence. It was different for him now, especially when he knew the reasons he continuously sought the woman out in the past. Hiei knew what it meant, but the whole concept was still so foreign to him. All he knew was he wanted to be with this woman, and no other would do.

“I still have to read about this week’s milestones,” she whispered, an attempt to keep the warmth and stillness of the moment. “Would you like to join me?”

“Yes,” Hiei answered without hesitation.

They finally broke apart and journeyed to the living room. Hiei helped Botan sit on the couch, and then sat next to her. The two sat close together, cuddled up on the couch. Botan picked her book up from the end table beside her, and then she read aloud the details of their son’s progress. Hiei hoped that the next month would be as peaceful as this.

Chapter Text

As promised, Hiei left quite a bit for him and Botan to do together to get the nursery in working order. All the clothes and toys still needed to be sorted, so he brought everything into the room along with a chair for Botan to sit. The two worked in companionable silence. Botan removed tags from new clothing and folded the outfits and onesies. Hiei took them from her and stocked the dresser drawers.

It was a quiet day; the wind barely blew outside, though it was getting chillier by the day. The weather reports indicated snow would fall, though thankfully not that much. Hiei wasn’t looking forward to the frozen precipitation. Snow always served to remind him of the Glacial Village. Despite completing domestic tasks with Botan to prepare for the arrival of their son, the fire demon felt rather despondent. If the ferry girl picked up on his mood, she thankfully let it be.

A sigh escaped the woman when the two finally unpacked all of the shopping and gift bags. The room looked so much fuller with various toys and playthings. There was a baby swing for when the child got a bit older. For when he was a younger baby, there was a little gym with toys that hung from strings. The child could lie on his back and reach up; the thing would teach him hand eye coordination. Hiei didn’t understand the need for it to be so colorful, but he figured that this toy could serve as a training tool before his son could walk. There was also something the infant could stand in and walk around the apartment while playing with toys. Again, Hiei wasn’t sure all these toys and trinkets were necessary but considering he didn’t have anything like that growing up, a part of his was interested in what it could do for their son. Botan seemed to think it was all needed.

“So, now that we have the nursery set up,” Botan murmured tiredly, “what do you want to do?”

Hiei grimaced. Honestly, despite the snow, the two planned to go out. The fire demon knew the woman was in need of time out in the world. Botan was always so outgoing, and even though she went shopping with the girls from time to time, the closer they got to both winter and birth, Botan remained inside more often than not. It’s why their friends planned an actual night out for the group. Although Hiei was reluctant to go, Botan wanted to. She’d been looking forward to it all week.

If he wanted, Hiei could suggest they do something and not point out her forgetfulness. That would be selfish, he knew. Besides, his guidebook told him to support her and help her cope with her forgetfulness. With the feelings of guilt she had being so out of tune with her friends’ lives… No, Hiei couldn’t do that to her.

“We should get ready to meet the others for dinner,” he suggested. “The detective seems very smug about planning a ‘pregnant friendly’ evening you can enjoy.”

Botan’s expression turned blank before it switched to horror. “Oh, I knew I was forgetting something! I’m the absolute worst!”

Thankfully, Botan wasn’t looking at him during her lamentation as Hiei rolled his eyes over her dramatics. The fire demon approached the woman and placed his hands on her shoulders. She was still sitting in her rocking chair and needed to look up to meet his stern gaze. “You are fine,” he told her. “It’s a pregnancy side effect, remember? You’re getting close to the end of this.”

Immediately, Botan’s expression shifted from guilt to calm as she searched Hiei’s expression for the veracity of his statement. She heaved a huge breath of relief and then put on a smile. “You’re right,” she reminded herself. “Of course you’re right. There’s nothing to be upset about. I have you here to remind me.” Then, her eyes turned wistful. “I’ll miss that.”

Hiei’s brow furrowed as his mind raged its mental battle. This had been going on for a couple of weeks now, and Hiei knew it was his doing. When he expressed the parenting plan once the baby was born, he only addressed what would happen career-wise for them. When Botan was in Spirit World, Hiei would be with the child, and when Hiei was needed in Demon World, Botan would be there. He did not explain where their relationship would go, mainly because he still wasn’t used to the idea that her heart belonged to him. His own attraction and care was a given, or at least he believed he made it as clear as possible by now. He didn’t want to rush into things, which was Yukina’s advice, to just simply be. But these concerns of Botan’s made it harder to let things be.

“It’s not like you won’t see me,” he offered. When Botan looked at him like he had multiple heads, a pang fired off in his chest. That bewilderment over such a simple statement certainly clarified that that was how Botan took it when he broached the subject weeks ago.

“I will?” the ferry girl asked breathlessly. “B-but I thought…”

Hiei schooled his features to hide just how bothered he felt that he caused her such doubt. “This is all still new to me,” he explained. “I…wasn’t clear. I didn’t think I needed to explain myself at this point, but I can see I was wrong.”

Botan perked up. “What do you mean?”

Hiei’s hands slid down her shoulders to rest on her hands. He would not meet her gaze. “When I suggested what I did, I didn’t expect that we would never cross paths. There will be times when I’m needed in Demon World and you’re needed in Spirit World, and so one of us will have to remain with our son.” The ferry girl’s eyes dimmed again, so Hiei swallowed his pride and forced the words out. “But,” he paused, “there will be times where we both are needed here for him, or when our presence won’t be required in either world. During those times…”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence because Botan heard him loud and clear. The way her expression lit up twisted Hiei’s inside in both a pleasant and painful way. He was never one for words, never felt they were needed, but the demon was once again reminded that Botan came from a different world, one more similar to the human realm, and his human fatherhood guidebook kept emphasizing one word: ‘communication’. He should have put Botan’s mind at ease much soon.

“I…” Botan murmured, her voice filled with happiness as she tried to find the words to say. “I thought, when you said that… I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” Tears pricked at her eyes, but Hiei knew she was more emotional than upset. “I tried to tell myself to just enjoy the moment, but thinking that we were on borrowed time…”

“We aren’t on borrowed time,” Hiei assured her. Again, he kicked himself for letting this happen. He knew Botan was struggling, and he had inklings as to why, but he assumed she knew he’d still want to be with her and that she was just sad their time would be more divided. “Besides, once you have your wits about yourself again, I can’t imagine you won’t hunt me down to drag me to those ridiculous gatherings at Genkai’s and everything in between.”

Botan laughed, and then blinked the tears away. A few streamed down her face, but Hiei wiped them away with his thumb. “You would let me drag you away?”

Hiei shrugged, a mask of indifference. “Between you and the kid, I don’t know who will be worse.”

He was caught off-guard as Botan embraced him tightly to her. Her body shook as she held him, the emotional flood she’d buried down inside flowing out freely. A sigh escaped Hiei as he patted her back. As awkward as he felt comforting the woman, he had to admit it felt much better to get his thoughts and feelings out there. Maybe they needed to start doing that again instead of just assuming to know what the other was thinking. Although they knew each other better than most by this point—after going through this ordeal together—they were still estranged when it came to the inner workings of their minds. They had been thrown into this, for lack of a better word, ‘relationship’ instead of working their way up to it. Botan was still as much of an enigma as she was at their friends’ parties, and he was just as guarded.

After about fifteen minutes, Botan calmed and relaxed against Hiei. She pulled away to look into uncomfortable crimson eyes. With a sheepish smile, she pushed her hair off her face and said, “We still have a while before we have to meet up with everyone. Do you want to read the week thirty-three points with me before I start getting ready?”

A nod was her answer, and Botan internally beamed with joy. For the past couple weeks, her moods wavered between highs and lows. The highs would be in response to Hiei’s continued presence and support, and they’d be followed by the lows in regard to Hiei’s plan to leave and never see her again. Now that Hiei’s true intentions were laid before them, Botan felt like everything would be okay.

Hiei didn’t know how he let himself get talked into attending this strange get-together. Yusuke and Kuwabara outdid themselves with their plans, which they happily took credit for. The evening started at a lowkey burger joint, a place Hiei remembered from a past outing of raucous laughter and drinks. Back then, the group was brought to a room in the back, the largest table in the joint. The guys sat on one side of the table across from the girls. Yusuke and Keiko were on the farthest end, and, to Hiei’s irritation, Yukina sat across from Kuwabara. Kurama and Shizuru sat across from each other and chatted while Hiei and Botan sat on the end.

The group was rowdy and needed to yell over each other to be heard with the music and noise from the main room of the restaurant. Hiei remembered how he spent most of the evening glaring at Kuwabara for flirting with his sister. Yukina had a red tint to her cheeks, and Hiei assumed she’d uncharacteristically had a drink, but now knowing what Hiei knew about the psychic’s relationship with his sister, it was possible Yukina smiled and blushed because she enjoyed the attention. The fire demon also tried to tune out the discussion between the fox and the oaf’s sister. Then a voice cut through his thoughts.

“So,” the ferry girl tentatively murmured, “how’s life at Mukuro’s camp treating you?”

Hiei snapped his attention to the woman and glared at her. “What?”

His angry growl didn’t seem to faze the human-disguised spirit. “How is it at Mukuro’s?”

Red eyes narrowed into slits. “Why should I tell you? Planning to report back to Koenma?”

Botan blinked in confusion. “No,” the ferry girl replied. “Honestly, I was just curious and wanted to catch up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

Hiei scoffed derisively. Honestly, he’d hardly noticed how long he’d been away, and he certainly never considered how long it had been since he last spoke with the ferry girl. He couldn’t have cared less even if he tried.

“Ever think that was by design?” Instead of disarming the ferry girl and getting her to leave him be, Botan merely laughed as she nursed her own beer. Maybe that disgusting drink was why she was unusually daring. “Never took you for a beer drinker.”

Amethyst eyes, tinted lavender by the lighting, lit up with mirth. “Well, I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.” Hiei grunted and shrugged. He didn’t give a damn how she took it. “I’m usually not, but it just seemed proper considering where we are. It actually pairs quite nicely with the food.” She looked to his drink and nudged her head in that direction. “Is that any good?”

Again, Hiei shrugged as he picked up the glass holding his cinnamon whiskey. It was one of the few human drinks he found tolerable. “You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

The amusement left the woman as irritation settled in. “I’ll have you know I’ve had plenty of different drinks, and I can so hold my liquor.”

The fire demon smirked. Getting a rise out of the woman had become somewhat of a challenge during their random times together. The hilarity of her ire always seemed to erase Hiei’s boredom at these events. “Care to put your money where your mouth is, woman? I guarantee you couldn’t beat me even if you tried.”

“Hmph,” Botan huffed. Her eyes filled with fire as she crossed her arms and looked away from the demon. The pout on her face rested there for only a few moments before she sighed and looked back to Hiei. “Maybe I’d surprise you.”

Hiei snorted. “Nothing about you is surprising.”

Botan didn’t reply to that, and Hiei already moved to down the rest of his drink. If he’d been looking at the woman, he would have seen the surprised expression on her face. His words stunned her into silence, but he’d no idea why. Eventually, she spoke again, changing the subject. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t take the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

“Can you believe that Yusuke and Keiko are getting married next month?” she asked him, as if he’d have any interest.

Hiei wanted to curse the woman and tell her shut up and leave him be. At least, he thought that was what he wanted. Instead, he engaged with the woman despite what he once thought he wished. “I don’t understand why you’d even think to ask me about that. I don’t give a damn about this long, drawn out ceremony. In Demon World, if two idiots want to be together, they mate, and that’s the end of it.”

Botan’s nose scrunched up. “That doesn’t sound very romantic.” Hiei scoffed again, though this time his tone sounded like more of a laugh. Botan didn’t find what she said funny. “What?”

“Romance,” he spat, “doesn’t exist in my world. It’s kill or be killed, and that’s the only ‘relationship’ needed.”

At that, Botan’s eyes grew sad, but then she put on a smile and the foolish optimism poured off her in waves. “I don’t think that’s true. All the worlds are very similar. Even if things are done a little differently, I’m sure romance and love can be experienced by everyone.”

She was delusional, Hiei believed at the time. Back then, Hiei didn’t know why he humored the woman, and he mentally kicked himself afterwards. At the time, Hiei truly believed he was unsuited for anything remotely romantic, didn’t believe in feeling connected to another. Now, in the present, he realized that was just another moment that bound him to the ferry girl. Their conversation then is most likely what prompted the woman to challenge him to that drinking contest in the first place.

Now, the group sat in the same arrangement at that same table, although this time everyone drank soda instead of alcohol to be ‘fair’ to Botan. The dynamics were similar, although Hiei did not feel animosity towards Kuwabara’s antics and flowery words to his sister. The detective was married. Kurama and Shizuru were comparing notes on their elusive relationships. As for Hiei and Botan…

“Hey, I wanna make a toast, guys,” Yusuke declared before he stood up and held up his coke. He looked to the couple at the other end of the table. “It’s not often we all get together like this, and Hiei, I’m looking at you.”

The fire demon scoffed and looked away, but his expression softened when her heard Botan giggle. He met her warm and loving gaze and took her hand in his. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Yusuke, and he grinned a wide grin. As sappy as it would sound, he was overjoyed to see the gesture.

“But we’re all here now,” he remarked, “and that’s what’s important.” He raised his glass over his head, and everyone clinked their glasses and took their drinks. “And there’s one more thing I’d like to say.”

Everyone paused at the unusually serious tone of the former detective. All eyes landed on the man, and he grinned. His eyes fell on Hiei and Botan, and there was a warmth reflected in his brown orbs. “Cheers to you two…for starting the next generation of our family.”

Botan beamed so brightly with happiness that tears pricked her eyes. She managed to stave off her hormones and laugh instead as everyone agreed and took their drinks. Hiei was practically paralyzed from the sentiment. He ended up in a stare off with Yusuke; the latter grinned widely and nodded at him. The fire demon didn’t know how to react the the former detective’s unexpected words.

Later, the group went to an arcade. Hiei stood off to the side, still contemplating Yusuke’s words from earlier, as he watched his sister and Botan play some ‘ice ball’ game. Kuwabara brought a travel stool for Botan to sit on, to be easier on her feet and back. Botan seemed so carefree at the moment, rolling spheres up some ramp to score points. She gave Yusuke a high five when she won.

Hiei’s expression softened. To be honest, he never thought he’d be in a place like this, both physically and emotionally. The arcade was a given. Hiei avoided all sorts of human venues even during his probation, but lately he’d seen a different side to their world now that he would have a son who would be a part of it. Never had he gone along with the group of his own volition. Either Yukina would have to ask, or Kurama would have to pester him. Hiei always attended, but the detective’s words that night showed him the real reason he went that he never observed before.

Hiei was part of a family. He thought more recently how Botan and the baby gave him a true family, but he never considered that he was already accepted into one. In the past, the closest thing he had to a family were the bandits who abandoned him. When that happened, Hiei felt empty and cold. He never believed he’d be accepted anywhere, that he was alone in the world, but it was not the case. The second he’d been sucked into Spirit World’s orbit, as much as he hated doing its bidding, Hiei reluctantly became part of a team. Years of struggles and trials bonded them all together, so much so that they became a true family.

The fire demon couldn’t quell the sentiments that arose within him as he observed his family. His eyes landed on Botan’s large swell, and he felt something he could not put into words. Although Hiei was cursed by his people, sent to his death, and told he’d bring an end to anything he touched, the reality before him starkly contrasted with those prophecies.

He was a cold and cruel thief but, when it really mattered, he put that all behind him. Instead, he and, by extension, his child would always be surrounded by people who cared, who worried for their wellbeing, and, dare he say, loved them.

As confusing as the emotion was, Hiei found value in it. There was still more he needed to face, his own inner demons that needed to be snuffed out, but at least he didn’t have to face it alone.

Botan hummed happily as she read one of her mystery books. She rested on the couch with her feet propped up on pillows, and that was how Hiei left her when he went to the roof to train. It was nice to have a calm, quiet day, especially after all the fun the previous night. The ferry girl was so happy to have a regular outing for once where everyone could just good off and hang out without a care. The evening had done wonders for her and, honestly, she suspected it was good for Hiei also.

When Yusuke made that toast, Botan could see so much emotion in her lover’s eyes. Hiei seemed so baffled by the notion that Yusuke and the others considered him family. Sure, he was related to Yukina, and she and the baby were a given, but to hear how everyone agreed to those sentiments… Botan was certain that after what she knew of Hiei’s past, Yusuke’s words buried deep into the fire demon’s soul.

“Your daddy is still getting used to the idea,” Botan lovingly murmured. She rubbed her stomach and felt the baby gently kick into her hand. A subtle smiled graced her features and she leaned back against the couch. “We’ll just have to keep showing him he always has a place to go.”

“Talking to yourself, woman?”

Botan’s attention shifted to the door; Hiei returned from training and left his sword by the entrance. He came to her and sat down next to the woman. She noticed that he was sweating and breathing heavily, and she pulled him into her side. The fire demon was too exhausted to fight her on that, leaned his head against her shoulder, and closed his eyes.

“Looks like someone had an intense workout,” Botan chimed cheerily. When Hiei grunted, her smile became more wistful. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Hiei answered. “Just had a lot on my mind. It kind of took a life of its own while I was training.”

Concern flickered through Botan’s eyes, but she quickly snuffed it out in case Hiei looked at her but assumed it was pity. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hiei released a straggled laugh. “Talk,” the fire demon replied. “That’s what my guide keeps saying I need to do, but I keep fighting against it.”

Instead of chiding him, like Hiei expected she’d do, Botan simply said, “Maybe that’s because you haven’t had anyone listen to you for so long, so now that you have friends and family who want to listen, you don’t know what to do about it.”

Hiei’s eyes snapped open, and he met Botan’s gaze. The ferry girl was taken aback by the completely open and vulnerable expression written all over Hiei’s face. That was all the proof Botan needed to know that her words hit the nail right on the head.

“How do you do that?” Hiei questioned her, his voice almost filled with childlike wonder. “Put my emotions into words.”

Botan’s lips quirked upwards, a sad tint to her expression. “That’s literally my job, Hiei,” she explained. “Dying is a very emotional thing, and the spirits don’t understand what’s happening to them. Sometimes everyone, living or dead, needs someone to point out what they’re feeling, especially when the emotion is so intense, they can’t express themselves.”

It made sense, but Hiei wasn’t a fool. He’d been in Spirit World long enough to know that not all the ferry girls were capable at doing this, at seeing right through someone to express their feelings for them. There was something special about Botan. It’s what made her one of the few he could tolerate at those gatherings, the one he took to bed. She was probably the only woman who would want him to father her child and be a part of their lives. It had nothing to do with a lack of self-preservation like Hiei first considered, but because of the overwhelmingly large size of her heart and the kindness buried deep in her soul.

Hiei didn’t know when he pulled the woman toward him, but he registered the instant her lips touched his. In that moment, his insides were set aflame with emotions he could not describe, but he didn’t need the woman to put them into words right now. It didn’t even bother him when her felt little jabs against his ribcage. In fact, his mouth upturned quickly before he let his passion pour out of him. It appeared what they read in Botan’s maternal guide was true. Their son was growing, healthy, and getting more active as they grew closer to the due date. Where they still had a month, give or take, before he’d arrive, the anticipation made it seem all the more exciting.

Oh course, with the increase in sharp kicks and jabs, Botan needed to pull away and catch her breath. There was still that pesky side effect to contend with, but it didn’t upset Botan. Once she was able to breathe normally, she grinned at Hiei.

“Well, it seems like you’re not the only one who likes to train so much,” Botan simpered. “That makes me happy, although it will be nice when his little training bouts happen outside my body.”

An amused chuckle left Hiei’s lips, and his mouth quirked into a half-smirk. “Yes, blame me, but are you sure that the kid is training, or is he just partaking in your usual activity of voyeurism?”

Botan let out an indignant cry, and Hiei snickered at her outburst. She flashed him a look of irritation. “You’re lucky I put up with you, mister.”

Hiei really couldn’t deny that. His expression softened, and Botan’s breath nearly caught in her throat when she recognized the emotion reflected in his eyes. There was a fondness there as well as desire and joy. The ferry girl knew that look. It’s how she’d been looking at Hiei for a long time.

At her surprised glance, Hiei’s expression shifted. “Something wrong?”

Botan shook her head, a smile on her face as she regarded the fire demon. “Nothing’s wrong,” she reassured him. “I just… I’m really happy you’re here.”

Hiei slowly approached the woman again and took her hand in his. She appeared perplexed by Hiei’s actions. “Follow me,” he instructed. Botan nodded and let Hiei lead her to a room—their room.

As hard as it had been to make the decision to finally accept that they were together, Hiei enjoyed the intimacy that came with sharing a room. Although he didn’t have much, he could see traces of the both of them in the shared space. After a few days of getting used to the idea, Hiei surrendered to the feelings of peace Botan brought him. He never felt like that before, always on guard and unable to let himself be fully vulnerable.

The two curled up in their bed. Hiei kissed the ferry girl passionately without restraint. Botan allowed Hiei’s hands to wander as they caressed her body and the swell of her belly. Her eyes were closed, so she didn’t see the slightly devious look Hiei flashed her way. As one hand continued to trail her skin, the other removed the white bandana that covered his Jagan. The third eye opened and glowed as it initiated a connection to communicate with Botan’s body.

Botan felt a jolt in her mind. It startled her, and she gasped which broke their kiss. After the initial ping, Botan felt nothing but pure euphoria. She whimpered a soft, “Hiei,” but he gently shushed her.

In her mind, he asked, Do you trust me?

The woman couldn’t form words or a coherent thought, so she just nodded. Hiei smirked and captured her lips again. He used the Jagan to send gentle jolts through Botan’s human body, both to relax her and excite her. As he did this, Hiei ran his hand through the ferry girl’s hair. The sensations built energy up within Botan, and she gasped at the overwhelming feeling. Hiei swallowed her gasp and gently coaxed her down from her high to rest.

The glow of the Jagan dissipated, and the eye closed once again. Botan peeked her eyes open to meet Hiei’s and a sleepy smile graced her features. “Hiei,” she murmured his name again before he pulled her into his protective hold.

Hiei came down from his own high caused from the elation that he’d been able to provoke such intense feelings in Botan and how he was so attuned to all of them. It was the most intimate he’d ever been with another individual. Even his random trysts in Demon World meant nothing in comparison. The fire demon knew, in this moment, that no other woman would do. His relationship with Botan…it was indescribable.

“All right, Urameshi. Time to pay up,” Kuwabara declared. “At this point, even you have to know they’re staying together.”

“Agreed,” Kurama interjected. “I think it’s time to address reality.”

Yusuke grinned at his two redheaded friends. Honestly, he’d been waiting for this moment. The signs that things changed between Hiei and Botan had been growing increasingly more obvious. The secretive glances, Botan’s smiles, the closeness, Hiei taking her hand. Yusuke was prepared to pay up the day that they set up the nursery and Hiei chose to move into Botan’s room. Neither Kuwabara nor Kurama brought up the bet, then, so Yusuke stayed quiet. Now, though, after seeing how the two interacted in public in front of everyone…there was no question.

Botan and Hiei were a couple.

The whole bet surrounded the time where Hiei told Botan he wouldn’t stick around and Botan threw him out. Kuwabara said these were the stakes: the two would make up, get together, and then raise their baby together. They did make up, they were together, and Yusuke knew that, with how involved Hiei was with the baby shower and setting up the nursery, the fire demon would be raising this child too.

“Here ya go,” Yusuke said as he handed two wads of cash out to his friends. “Gotta say, I was hoping for this outcome, and I’m happy to do it. Best money I ever lost.”

Chapter Text

Gloom settled over Hiei the further they got into winter. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t happy. His relationship with Botan was now in a better place, and it was getting closer and closer to Botan’s due date, although they still had a way to go. Once the weather turned, Hiei’s attitude grew darker than he intended. Even worse, Botan wasn’t acting like her perky self, and Hiei felt like a failure for being unable to reassure her. How could he when all he thought about was his pain and torment? Nightmares plagued him on an almost daily basis. Thankfully, Botan managed to sleep through the night even when the fire demon found himself tossing and turning, a rarity for him.

Hiei was unsettled; that much he knew. It was as if he took a step backwards. He kept his thoughts to himself again, soon after he rationalized to communicate with the ferry girl more. The icy and gray weather was stagnant and unwelcoming. Even the Human World joy for the holidays that were to come did little to help. Botan didn’t even want to decorate, and Hiei was certain that would have been the first thing on her to do list.

They were both depressed. Hiei knew this, yet he just surrendered to it.

Botan sighed as she stirred some sugar in her cup of herbal tea. She felt so tired and listless. The weather was just so dreary this entire week; it snowed at least twice. Normally, Botan liked snowy days, mostly because she could curl up under a warm blanket with some cocoa and just enjoy being inside. Unfortunately for her, Botan couldn’t curl up, and it was hard to enjoy being cooped up inside. The ferry girl could tell that even Hiei was affected, and part of her mood was lowered because of guilt over not knowing how to help the fire demon.

Of course, she kept her feelings to herself. It probably wasn’t wise, especially after the last time Botan let her thoughts consume her. When Hiei assured her that he still intended to be with her, whenever they could, Botan felt so much relief and happiness. It was probably best to communicate her guilt to Hiei, but she didn’t want him to feel bad too.

Hiei came out of their bedroom. He was drying his hair with a towel and wore an olive-green sweater, an early Christmas present from Botan when she realized he didn’t have any winterwear. His gaze fell on Botan, and he grimaced. The woman was leaning against her elbow and staring into her cup of tea as she continuously stirred the spoon. The fire demon wasn’t used to seeing the woman so despondent. It had been a long time since her last significant bout of depression.

Instead of saying anything, Hiei walked over to the table and took a seat beside Botan. Her hand paused in stirring. Hiei took her hand in his and squeezed it. Botan turned to regard Hiei, her lips slanted. They stared at each other for a few moments before Botan sighed and said, “I’m sorry.”

Her unexpected apology bewildered Hiei; his brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”

Botan shook her head and smiled sadly. “I…I’ve been out of sorts lately, and I know you have been too. I just wish I knew what to do to make us both feel better.”

Hiei’s expression dimmed, and he looked rather grave. “It’s not up to you to make me feel better. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”

“On the contrary,” Botan denied, “we’re a couple, and that means equal give and take. Whatever it is either of us face, we’re in it together.”

Hiei averted his gaze, not trusting himself to meet the woman’s gaze. Her words were sincere and more powerful than she probably knew. Never in his life had the fire demon had someone share his burdens. Mukuro did see the trials he went through in his life, but it didn’t mean she helped him with them. She gave him a purpose, yes, but their relationship was mostly professional. They simply encouraged the other to let go.

“If you really mean that…”

“I do,” Botan replied resolutely. Now she squeezed his hand in assurance. “What’s been bothering you?”

Hatred reflected in Hiei’s eyes as he admitted, “This damned weather. It reminds me too much…”

Botan’s shoulders relaxed, and Hiei could see her compassion written all over her face. He didn’t even need to finish his sentence for her to understand, and he was grateful for that because talking about this was something he never did. “Oh, Hiei, I’m sorry,” Botan empathized. “I didn’t even think… Winter is like that here, and a lot of people are affected by the weather. As far as the Glacial Lands, you know we’re not there, right?”

“Of course I know,” Hiei replied curtly. He took his hand away from Botan, leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and averted his eyes. “It’s foolish, I know.”

“It isn’t foolish,” Botan contradicted. “The cold and snow are triggers for you. They remind you of what happened, but the good thing about Human World is the snow melts. Some places don’t even have snow which is why people like to take vacations in the winter.” She smiled at him, this time more genuinely. “Everything is going to be okay. Just know I love you.”

Those words, no matter how often she said them, always took Hiei by surprise. He knew her sentiments, but he still didn’t understand how someone like her, or anyone for that matter, could feel so strongly about him. Although he didn’t self-deprecate often, he knew this woman with all her light deserved better. It was why he tried so hard to change the ways he interacted with her.

“I don’t know why,” he admitted. “You know the type of person I am.”

Botan giggled and shook her head again. “I don’t know what made you decide to stay,” the woman admitted and Hiei uncrossed his arms and leaned forward with a stupefied expression. “I know we’re very different and that you always had your issues with me. But I’m glad you did.”

“I was wrong,” Hiei blurted out, stunning Botan. “To have issues with you, I mean. You have to know… I mean, you…”

Botan leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss to silence him. Hiei struggled with words sometimes, especially when it came to how he felt. She decided to show him some mercy and affection, and it was even more important now after he acknowledged why he felt so down. At least, in her own low mood, she knew how to help her lover. She just needed to treat him with kindness and the love she felt for him.

Hiei watched Botan as she stood up and walked over to the stove. She set the kettle on the gas range and waited there until it boiled. The familiar whistle screeched loudly, and Hiei cringed but said nothing. Botan pulled a box out of the cupboard and dumped some dark powder into two mugs. It was that ‘hot chocolate’ stuff she seemed to like. After she mixed the drinks, she then added some brown powder and brought the drinks back to the table.

“I figured we could use a pick me up,” the ferry girl chimed. “Your favorite flavor and mine.”

A dark brow quirked in perplexity, but Hiei accept the mug and took a sip of the drink. His eyes widened at the velvety taste of chocolate and cinnamon. He looked at the drink as if it were alien; Botan hid her smile behind her own mug. The fire demon couldn’t believe that this drink, a mix of the two of them, could be so comforting and…perfect. His eyes shifted to her abdomen which housed their child, another mixture of the two of them.

After they finished their drinks, Botan led Hiei to their room and turned on some decorative lights and a stereo. The two got into bed and simply held each other. Cuddling seemed to be their go-to when they were both stressed. It helped to alleviate the aches within them. Botan sighed as she nuzzled Hiei’s chest. His arms wrapped around her, and his eyes lidded. When he felt her lips dust his neck, Hiei finally relaxed and let his guard completely down. He closed his eyes and buried his nose in Botan’s hair. This woman was really something else to soothe his soul the way she did.

Botan couldn’t believe it was week thirty-four already, and she knew she still had another month to go. She was so eager to meet her son. Honestly, she was also looking forward to a time where her back wouldn’t ache like crazy and her feet would stop swelling. Although she did her best to keep her feet up and wear comfortable footwear, it was still a challenge. As much as she loved sharing her body with her son, she was ready for him to move out and join the world with them.

The ferry girl squinted her eyes at the book as she read her son’s new milestones, but her vision seemed less sharp and blurry lately. According to the book, this was normal, but it didn’t make Botan feel any better. There wasn’t much to do aside from watch television and read her mysteries or romance novels. Her eyes got tired more quickly, and it was disheartening. Sometimes, though, Hiei would step in and read to her. Of course, he chose to read more of Botan’s detective novels as opposed to the romance—a fact that entertained Botan more than the reading as she rested her eyes.

Hiei entered the room and saw Botan squinting. He sighed and took the book from her hands. His eyes roved over the content before he set the book down and rolled his eyes.

Botan noticed his discomforted demeanor. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Hiei remarked. “Just more human ridiculousness. Apparently, the author’s find it necessary to tell us how our son’s testicles are descending.”

Botan smiled at Hiei and shook her head. “Hiei, it’s just basic anatomy.”

“I know,” Hiei replied. “The humans are just depraved for talking about it in such detail. If you saw my guidebook from the very beginning of this, it was downright pornographic.”

Hiei’s expression softened when the ferry girl laughed out loud. She wiped a tear from her eye and then met Hiei’s gaze, amusement shining in her lavender eyes. “Was it really? I can only imagine how that must have felt reading all that. We…we weren’t even like that at the time.”

“No,” Hiei agreed. “But…I wanted to be, even just a little.”

Botan’s eyes conveyed her surprised shock. “Really? But I thought…”

Hiei sighed as he approached her and sat beside her. “Botan,” he began, voice solemn. “I…pursued you. Yet I didn’t want to admit that. Wanting you the way I did was foreign to me. I was angry more at myself than I was at you. I should have never said the things I did to you, should have never said what I did about our son. Just…”

“I understand.” Botan took his hand in hers, and Hiei couldn’t help but look her in the eye. “I didn’t back then, but I do now. When Yukina told me the truth about your people… What they did was wrong. All you were saying then was what they believed to be true. Our son, he’ll never have to suffer that way. He’ll have both of us to care for him and guide him. He’ll be surrounded by so much love and family.”

Hiei felt his demon heart skip its already irregular beat. Botan’s declaration moved him so greatly, and yet he didn’t know how to truly convey it to her. “That… It will be better for him. I want that for him.”

Botan smiled sadly. “Me too, but I…also want that for you.”

Hiei’s eyes became less hardened, and his tight jaw slackened a bit. “I…I don’t know what to say to that.”

The woman giggled and rubbed his hand with her thumb. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t always have to have the last word, you know.”

Hiei’s jaw ticked, and he couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face. This moment, he was reminded of some of their banter in the past, although now it warmed him more than irritated him. Maybe he always enjoyed Botan’s attention and attempts to get closer to him, even when he continuously pulled away from her. “You’re a menace, woman.”

Botan playfully stuck her tongue out at him and then caressed her large swell. “Oh baby, your daddy can be so mean to Mommy sometimes. Calling me names.”

Hiei rolled his eyes and snickered. “You’ll survive. The brat will too.”

Botan giggled and shook her head. “If you call him that, he might get a complex.”

“He knows I don’t mean it.”

Hiei realized what he said when Botan’s eyes widened, and she blinked a few times. His expression fell, and red dusted his cheeks. “Hiei…what…do you mean by that?”

Throughout the pregnancy, from the very beginning, their son had connected to Hiei several times, and although he and Botan shared that dream, Hiei never told her about any other experience except for the very beginning. “You remember that I told you about the incident when we were back at Genkai’s, where his energy was out of control and harming you.”

Botan nodded mutely. “Yes…you said you told him to stop.”

“That wasn’t the only time he reached out to me,” Hiei confessed. “He’s…reached out several more times since then.”

The ferry girl was amazed by that and said, “Is he really aware of things?”

Hiei shook his head. “No, not truly. He responds to our energy. He knows who I am, who we are. He was the one who initiated those images that we dreamt together. Of us as a family.”

Botan beamed so brightly, and her joy practically drowned him. “That’s amazing! I had no idea. Can you communicate with him? Oh, tell him how much I love him, please.”

Hiei’s cheeks heated, and he shook his head. “He already knows, woman. Trust me. He is inside of you. He can hear and feel you.”

The woman took his hand and squeezed it, and Hiei greedily took in her warmth. “What else did the book say?” she asked, giving him a small reprieve from his emotions. He was thankful for that.

“It said he can now open and close his eyes when he’s awake or asleep to prepare him for settling into a sleep schedule,” Hiei recounted. “His nails are growing too.”

Botan sighed happily and murmured, “Just one more month. Can you believe it?”

Honestly, he really couldn’t, but Hiei was looking forward to where the next chapter of their lives would lead.

It was another cold day, but thankfully not cold enough to keep the snow and ice around. Hiei decided to train up on the roof, but Botan made sure he dressed warmly. Human World may not be as cold as the glacial village, and Hiei was a fire demon, but Botan already felt her maternal habits kicking in. It both amused and confused Hiei to be the target of such things but considering the look Botan gave him when he tried to refuse, he decided to humor her and play along. If motherhood turned Botan into this fierce version of herself, Hiei felt bad for the kid. Both she and him would be an unyielding force for the boy. The fire demon could only hope that wouldn’t lead the child to rebel.

While Hiei trained, Botan read some of her book and the suggestions it had. She really liked this random idea—writing down her hopes and dreams for the baby in a letter or series of letters. It was a silly little exercise that gave Botan to communicate with her baby she had yet to meet. Her mind went back to hers and Hiei’s shared dream and imagined that little boy running and playing happily, being both free-spirited like her and strong and resolute as his father. With those images in mind, she began to write to her child.

Botan jotted down everything she could think of including the ups and downs of her pregnancy. She expressed how she changed during the time, how her optimism gave way to self-doubt that her friends and lover helped her to overcome. She wrote about all of her cravings, both the normal and strange, and how Hiei would go out to the store in the middle of the night and pilfer food items if the places were closed. Then, she wrote about the transformation Hiei made on this ride with her, their dates, his worries, and both their desires for their little one to never suffer the same way. She admitted they couldn’t think of a name yet and he’d probably have to wait until the day he was born. She told him how excited she was that he would soon enter the world and how she hoped that he’d be born with the knowledge that she loved him so deeply. Even if her son never read this letter, it was something Botan would treasure. Maybe she’d share it with her son when he was older. At least he would know for certain that his mother was a sentimental, emotional sap.

Hiei returned from training just as she was about to fold up her letter. “What are you writing?”

Botan blushed, but she smiled at her lover. “Nothing really. Just a letter. How was training?”

“Decent enough,” Hiei huffed. His breath gave way to a sigh. “I can’t stand this weather.”

The woman flashed him an empathetic smile. “It is really cold out, but at least the snow is gone. I was thinking… We’ve been cooped up all week. Would you like to go out to eat with me? There’s a hibachi place that just opened last week about a block away. They put on a cooking show with fire and everything. I thought maybe it would be a good way to warm up.”

Hiei shrugged and nodded. It was rare for Botan to initiate a date. She never wanted to add pressure to the fire demon, and he appreciated that. “That sounds fine.” He took note of the letter as Botan folded it. “Who is that for?”

Botan blushed, but grinned. “You’ll think me silly, but I was writing a letter to our son.”

“That isn’t silly,” Hiei pacified. “What’s it about?”

“Just the pregnancy and my experiences,” Botan explained. “He’ll be able to read it when he’s older. Anyway, just let me use the bathroom and change and I’ll be ready to go.”

After Botan left the room to use the bathroom, Hiei took notice of her letter. It was probably wrong to read her correspondence, but the woman’s curiosity rubbed off on him more often than not now. When he saw the word ‘baby’, his impulse to read only grew.

Hi Baby,

These last eight months have been a ride. I know this may seem silly to you, but my guidebook suggested I write you a letter while I was going through the whole experience. You’ll learn this about me, I’m sure, but that kind of thing is right up my alley.

Hiei snickered and leaned back in the chair. He used the chair across from him to proof up his legs as he continued to read.

It hasn’t always been an easy experience. The way you came into the world was as unexpected as it was wonderful. When you’re older, I might tell you about that, and I’m sure your father won’t want me to tell you everything…

She’s right, Hiei thought to himself.

In the beginning, your daddy and I didn’t really see eye to eye, but that wasn’t either of our faults. He’s suffered a lot in his relatively young life, and yet he still found his way to us. He’s helped me manage all my pesky pregnancy symptoms. Don’t worry; I don’t blame you for those.

Some of my symptoms led me to feel like a completely different person: scared, panicked, and just not myself. I’m usually so optimistic, so it never felt right. I want you to know that because with the help of my friends and your dad, I was able to break free of self-doubt. It creeps in every once and a while, but it serves to me more as a reminder than no one is perfect, not even me and your dad as parents. We’re still figuring much of this out and will learn to live in this world with you.

Hiei was surprised Botan was admitting any of this in a letter to their unborn child, but he knew she was right in her original paragraph. This idea came from her guidebook, and it was exactly the kind of thing his woman would do.

I had such strange cravings during this time, and I’m pretty sure my days of eating steak and strawberry jam are numbered. Your dad told me from the beginning I needed meat to give you lots and lots of iron. Demons need a lot. For a while, I even wanted raw meat. That was certainly interesting. On nights when the stores were closed, your father still managed to get me everything I craved. Uncle Kurama even told me about an incident on Thanksgiving that I’ll have to tell you about one day.

A chuckle escaped Hiei’s lips. He remembered all of Botan’s strange cravings. She even wrote about the bizarre pickles and sweet snow episode. That was probably the one time Hiei was truly disgusted during the whole ordeal, and he used to eat the flesh of his kills back in Demon World when there was nothing else.

As he got to the next paragraph, Hiei’s breath hitched and stopped as he read her sincere declarations.

My favorite part of the pregnancy, aside from getting to know you and feel you growing inside me, was that this journey led me to fall so deeply in love with your father. In the beginning, we knew so little about each other, and there’s still so much I want to know. I saw this whole new side to him, and he worked so hard to be here for you and to be a man you can look up to and depend on. I already know you will adore him, and he will always cherish us both.

Hiei could hardly swallow after reading the rest of Botan’s letter let alone breathe. He heard the sound of her footsteps and folded the letter back up and returned it to where she left it. When he caught sight of her looking comfortable in her beautiful sweater dress, his eyes looked so awed. Botan caught him staring and smiled. “What? What is it?”

Finally, Hiei was able to swallow, and he found his voice. Of course it came out quiet and not as confident as usual. “It’s nothing. You look…”

“Thank you,” she bashfully accepted the unfinished compliment. “Are you ready?”

Hiei didn’t trust his voice at the moment, but he nodded and stood up to join the woman. The two of them left the apartment to go on their date. Hiei took Botan’s hand as he gently led her to the elevator.

Botan frowned when some fluid leaked from her breasts after she just changed after the first time. Hanako warned her that she might leak colostrum, a yellowish, pre-milk fluid. The two women spoke about Botan’s fears of breast-feeding, and Hanako assured Botan that her choice to avoid it was completely fine. After all, it wasn’t right for every woman, let alone a spirit woman whose milk wasn’t guaranteed once she transformed back into a spirit. The obstetrician gave her these special nursing pads to wear so that she’d be more comfortable and she wouldn’t keep messing up her clothing.

The ferry girl looked in the mirror at her incredibly long hair. It became more lustrous during her pregnancy. Of course, it grew in other places too that it normally didn’t. Thankfully, Botan only needed one wax which Hanako assured her was safe during pregnancy. It wasn’t a fun experience, but it wasn’t worse than the leg cramps that got to Botan. Thankfully, those were beginning to die down now that she drank a lot of water. It was funny that things were becoming more manageable during this last month than it was the whole rest of her pregnancy. Hanako even gave her eye drops to help with the eye dryness.

Beside her, Hiei packed up the hospital bag. It surprised Botan when she found him doing so, but he told her it was in his own guidebook that now was the time to do it. The birth of their son would happen in just a few short weeks. The woman decided to join him in packing after she took care of herself. It warmed her heart that Hiei was so on top of things.

Around him, Hiei had several bags, pads and papers for taking notes, stopwatches to time her contractions, comfy pillows, sugarless candies so that her mouth wouldn’t go dry, books and puzzle books to keep her mind busy if the labor was long, and hair ties so she could keep her hair out of her face. When she asked him about all of this, all he offered was that his guidebook was very thorough on suggestions. It even suggested he pack tennis balls to use as a massage tool to help with the aches in her back. He even packed a disposable camera. Botan admired him all the more for packing items that were all for her and less for him. He really cared about her.

Botan didn’t know how everything was going to go. Her own guidebook recommended that she pack different toiletries. Most likely, she’d have to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. Hanako told her it was better in the long run because of her special circumstances. She added disposable toothbrushes and travel toothpaste and mouthwash to the bags as well as her moisturizers and some pads. The book suggested packing shower gel and shampoo also, although Botan was certain she wouldn’t need them. She packed then anyway, just in case. You never knew. She also packed up some snacks and juice for after the delivery if the cafeteria was closed. For her own peace of mind, she packed in each bag a baby book—her friends gave her several options at the shower—to record all of her child’s first moment experiences.

They worked together to pack several pairs of clothing for both her and the baby to come home in and even nightgowns and slippers for if she had to stay overnight. For the baby, they made sure to pack warm, comfortable clothing and booties so that he wouldn’t be cold when they brought him outside into the world. Hiei added diapers to each bag too, in case they were needed or the hospital didn’t provide enough.

Once the packing was complete, Botan realized that they didn’t have a lot of time before the birth. She wondered what Hiei was thinking about everything, especially because it snowed again the previous day. Once again, the city was white, but Hiei put aside his bad mood to make sure Botan would be ready for the challenge of giving birth.

Soon, it wouldn’t be easy to get away or up to Genkai’s often to visit the old woman and Yukina. An idea struck Botan, and she smiled at her lover. “Hey, would you want to go to Genkai’s tomorrow to see Yukina?” Hiei stopped what he was doing and met her gaze. “I just think that with the snow happening more frequently, it might be a good idea to see her. It might be our only chance to visit before the baby is born.”

There was a lot of logic in Botan’s suggestion. Hiei had been thinking about his sister more and more lately, especially when thoughts about their homeland wouldn’t leave him. Winter was definitely his least favorite season in the human realm. It might do him some good to be reminded of the one positive thing that came from their world.

“I agree,” Hiei replied although he was a bit skeptical. “Are you sure you’re up for it? Last time the stairs…your shortness of breath.”

“I’ll be fine,” Botan assured him. “Besides, I think one last get away before he’s born will be good for us.”

“Alright then,” Hiei relented. “I’ll call Yukina.”

Hiei picked up the hospital bag and placed it by their bedroom door. It was the final bag he packed. As his guide suggested, he packed up several bags and conveniently placed them in different locations in case they needed to make a quick getaway. Labor was different for each woman and each pregnancy, and they could have plenty of time or not enough time. Either way, Hiei wanted to be ready.

The familiar trek to Genkai’s was a bit of a challenge with all the snow, but they made it to the temple safely. Yukina was so happy to have her brother and Botan there. She cooked a large smorgasbord of food. Genkai spent some time with the group too, happy for Botan that soon she’d be giving birth and bringing hers and Hiei’s little one into the world. It was a peaceful evening, at least until a snowstorm hit out of nowhere. The wind howled all night, and it was pretty cold in the room. Hiei made sure to keep Botan warm, especially when she hit the time of night she couldn’t drink liquids as much as she wanted, like the herbal tea Yukina made.

The awful storm made it hard for both Hiei and Botan to sleep, but eventually Botan dozed off. She was comforted by Hiei’s presence. Hiei, well, he struggled. Those winds sounded so familiar, even though he knew this blizzard was nothing like that of his homeland. He scoffed at the thought. That place wasn’t his home. He used to think of Demon World as his home, but he never felt like he had a true home until he was with Botan. Homes were supposed to provide security and safety to people, and she was his. Their son, too.

At that thought, Hiei had the abrupt realization that Botan was his mate. The thought took him by surprise, and at the same time it felt like the most natural way to describe her. He didn’t know how it happened. He went over Demon World tradition, the agreements made between two mates and whatnot. No matter how hard he thought, he never heard of a mateship just happening, however gradual. They made no formal agreement, they went through no rituals, but the fact could not be ignored. Botan provided everything a mate would. She was carrying his child and nurtured his carnal desires while they remained solely exclusive to one another.

Usually, that was all a mateship would require in his world, although it went much deeper than that. In Demon World, a mateship was a sharing of power, but Hiei didn’t need anyone else’s power. Honestly, that was part of the reason he avoided relationships. There was nothing anyone else could give him that he didn’t already have. Except Botan.

The strength the woman shared with him was something that Hiei never believed he needed. She gave him a sense of peace that he never experienced before he fully committed to her. She gave him her faith, even when he was less than deserving. She gave him her fragile heart, something that he had thrown back in her face so many times, and yet she offered it to him again and again with the belief that he would be able to put the pieces back together instead of destroying it as he was destined to do. Above all, Botan gave him her love. The woman gave it to him so freely, something he was never supposed to receive. His heart burst as he pulled her closer to him. This woman was more rebellious than he gave her credit for, willing to stomp on the traditions and beliefs of his people to give him a life that he was never supposed to have.

He buried his face against her neck and let her hair act as a shield to hide his emotional display. This woman was really the most amazing thing to have ever happened to him.

The morning gave way to the sun, but powdery white surrounded the temple. Winter, Hiei thought bitterly. As bothered as he was, though, he didn’t seem to care much when his eyes landed on Botan.

The ferry girl was out in the courtyard wearing her boots and winter coat. She carefully took slow steps to hear the crunching of the ground beneath her. Hiei hated the snow, but he found Botan to be an ethereal vision as the sun made the offending white glitter around her. Although he hated the snow, it seemed like the perfect backdrop for his angelic ferry girl.

His musings were short-lived as Botan doubled over in pain. Hiei was on alert and rushed over to her. “What happened?” he asked as he tried to help her stand.

Botan opened her mouth to speak, but she moaned in agony. She wanted to explain the horrible jolt of unexpected pain she felt, but she couldn’t get the words out. Because she didn’t answer him, Hiei used the Jagan to check on what was happening. In that instant, he felt the blinding pain. It wasn’t just that. He felt something that made his blood run cold. One month early, earlier than either were prepared, Botan was having contractions.

At first, Hiei thought the painful contractions had to be that Braxton Hick’s thing because it was too early for their son to be born. He tried to remember what he read about it, but he recalled not expecting it to happen and ignoring it. If he had read the pamphlet, it would have told him the signs.

Yukina heard the commotion and came outside to check on them. She rushed to her brother and Botan as Hiei brought Botan back to the temple. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know,” Hiei admitted as he aided Botan to the couch. Yukina went to get her some water, but Botan yelled out again.

“H-Hiei,” she weakly uttered. “I…I think I’m having contractions. It’s…it’s too early.”

“It could be that Braxton Hicks condition, right?”

Yukina sat beside Botan and her aura outstretched. Her eyes widened instantly as she looked to her brother. “She’s really in labor!”

Botan choked on a sob and shook her head. “I-I can’t. We’re here! We need to get to the hospi—ah!”

Yukina looked to her paralyzed brother. He was trying to keep calm for Botan’s sake, but she was in a lot of pain and the hospital was pretty far away. Still, with an early birth, Hiei’s mind was already calculating the odds that something was wrong. Botan was in far too much pain, but Hiei had no idea what kind of pain she was supposed to feel from this ordeal.

“Call Hanako,” Hiei ordered as he met his sister’s eyes.

Yukina didn’t know if she heard right. She watched as her brother lifted Botan in his arms, carrying her bridal style. Botan clung to Hiei and cried out as another contraction and wave of pain coursed through her. “What? Hiei, it’s too far. I can—”

“No.” Hiei shook his head and cradled Botan as best and gently as he could. “It’s…it is too early. She’s in too much pain. Something is wrong. I need to get her to the witch.” It bothered Hiei more than he cared to admit that Botan was in too much pain to correct him that time.

As worried as Yukina was, her fearful expression matched her brother’s resolution. “Alright, I’ll call. Be careful.”

Without another word, Hiei was out the door, running as fast as he could without hurting Botan. He knew he was fast, but he didn’t know if his speed would be enough to get them to the hospital in time. It didn’t matter. He had to make it, for Botan’s sake and the baby’s. Relief flooded him as the city came into view.

“We’re almost there,” he attempted to reassure both Botan and himself. It was all he could do to try not to let the woman’s agonized screams and tears derail him.

Please be okay…

Chapter Text

When Hiei got to the hospital, he was frantic. The entire run, Botan screamed in agony every time a contraction hit her. Thankfully, Hanako was at the ready when he arrived. The doctor told him she had been there for another birth, but beyond that Hiei barely registered her words. His focus was solely on Botan, and he felt his concern grow when her body felt hot. He didn’t know if it was from the pain or their son. The fire demon attempted to reassure her despite his own fear.

Hanako got Botan into a room right away. She made Hiei wait outside the room, and that bothered the demon. He wanted to fight her on it, but Botan’s condition caused him to take pause and listen to the human doctor. Not knowing what else to do, Hiei looked to a table in the hallway of the maternity ward. There were several pamphlets, so Hiei grabbed on one early labor. He was so nervous, though he’d probably never voice that out loud. Maybe reading about it would help give Hiei a sense of what was happening and hopefully reassure him.

The piece of paper did little to help him. It merely listed the signs of early labor, but it was impossible to know if knowing these things ahead of time would have prepared him or Botan. She had been feeling extra tired lately, but Hiei assumed that it was normal, or at least a part of her depression. There was an urge in the woman to ‘nest’, but that wasn’t really telling. As far as the physical signs, only Botan would have been able to tell him, but she seemed fine overall.

Moments later, Hanako came out of the room. She appeared calm, and so Hiei thought everything must be over. He hadn’t heard Botan’s screams in a while, but he doubted the baby was born yet. He stood up as Hanako approached him.

“Is Botan all right?”

Hanako’s calm façade faltered, and Hiei felt his body seize again. “There are…complications,” Hanako cautiously explained. “The baby’s heartbeat is elevated, and Botan is in a lot of pain. We gave Botan something to help her rest, but the baby’s heart rate is still very high. We believe he is breeched, and we’re going to have to perform an emergency C-section.”

Hiei’s brow furrowed. He had no idea what any of that meant. “I don’t understand. I need to see her.”

Hanako shook her head as her team came out to grab her to discuss the procedure. “Hiei, you need to wait here. We’re taking her to surgery now. Don’t worry; I promise, I’ll take care of them.”

The obstetrician left Hiei alone in the hallway, and moments later the team rushed out of the room with a rolling bed. Botan’s name left Hiei’s lips in a desperate plea before Hanako rushed her to the delivery room. Despite Hanako’s reluctance to let the fire demon see his mate, he rushed after them only to be stopped when he reached the doors to the surgical suite. A nurse tried to calm him, but Hiei was anything but calm.

“You don’t understand,” the demon hissed. “I need to be with her. With them.”

The nurse gazed upon the concerned man with empathy. “I understand you’re scared, and it’s okay to be, but Hanako is the best doctor we have. You can’t be in surgery with them, but stay close, and I promise you’ll be the first to know something.”

Hiei’s rage skyrocketed, so he knew he needed to put distance between himself and the human before he did something he’d regret. Botan needed him here, and not in Spirit World trying to defend himself against the crime of incinerating a human. He headed back to the maternity ward and looked inside the room where Botan had been. Anguish filled him when he thought about how much pain the woman must have been in for Hanako to make the decision to knock her out with drugs. Was Botan as scared as he was before she succumbed to sleep?

News couldn’t come quick enough. What seemed like hours later, Hiei still remained in the hallway. He paced back and forth as he waited for word on Botan and the baby. Surely, they should have been back by now, right? Hiei wanted to go to her, see this damn process through to the end as he promised. He swore he’d be with her, that she wouldn’t be alone, and yet this unforeseeable force prevented him from doing so. If it wasn’t for the human nurse, he would have pushed past those doors that led to the surgical suite.

All the preparation in the world hadn’t prepared him for this. As quick as he was to get Botan to the hospital, it still wasn’t enough to help them. The child came too early, and Hiei knew that had to be dangerous for both the baby and the mother. Kurama’s woman tried to explain to him what was going on in her medical terms, what was going to happen, but she may as well have been speaking Greek. All Hiei gathered was that the child was in distress and Botan was in agony. He could very well lose them both if they didn’t act fast. That terrified Hiei.

Throughout all their time together, the woman and the child became integrated into Hiei’s life. The thought of losing either one or them or both of them paralyzed Hiei. He sat down on one of the chairs outside the room, completely lost. He could hardly fathom when they became so significant. The fire demon could remember that first kick, how he denied feeling anything when he truly felt power and life behind the blow. He thought about the nights he was up with Botan, who dealt with yet another horrific symptom of pregnancy and how happy she was despite it all. Above all, he couldn’t stop picturing the day it was confirmed they were having a son—something his own people would have cursed and reviled—and how Botan held so much love for the child and wept her joy for there were no words to express it. Hiei started to shed his animosity towards her and their situation then.

Hiei tried to convince himself that it was because Botan and the child were now a part of his routine that he was frantic. It was just a front, though, a coward’s way to justify what truly happened. Somewhere down the line, Hiei had acquired ‘the feelings’ the humans were always discussing. It seemed impossible for him, a forbidden child, an imiko, to every experience such an emotion. From birth, it was said Hiei could never love and would never receive love, that he would only destroy. He once agreed with the sentiment. Being with Botan, experiencing their child from her viewpoint, changed everything, so much so that Hiei started to believe he was worthy of her affections. If anything happened to her or their son, Hiei knew he would never recover.

It was then Hiei realized what it was he truly felt. He loved her. Hiei was completely and hopelessly in love with the woman.

Panic filled him as the thought hit him like a ton of bricks, but not because of what he realized. Botan was in surgery, and Hiei didn’t know what would happen. What if he never got to tell her? What if…?

Hiei clenched his eyes shut and shook his head. He couldn’t afford to think like that. But it couldn’t be helped. What he felt for the woman was so obvious now that the thoughts were tangible. Unable to contain himself, Hiei stood up and walked away from the chairs.

You stupid, stupid idiot! Hiei berated himself as he pressed his body against the wall. His fist pounded the wall weakly; he closed his eyes and pressed his head against the cool and unforgiving surface.

“It’s funny. I once had a similar mentality. ‘Once my power returns, I’m gone.’ Something stopped me. I learned then it’s easy to say things when you have no idea what you will feel in the future. I want you to remember this moment, Hiei. I’m willing to wager that your attitude will change somehow, and by then it might be too late to do anything about it.”

As Hiei recalled Kurama’s words to him, from the beginning of the pregnancy, Hiei swallowed the bitterness that bubbled in his chest. Curse the fox and his spot-on predictions. Of course, none of this was Kurama’s doing, but Hiei needed someone to blame.

“You should be in there with her.”

Hiei’s eyes snapped open. Well, speak of the devil, he thought ironically. The fire demon turned and saw Kurama and Kuwabara standing in front of him. They both looked completely shocked, and it was at that moment Hiei realized that tears escaped him. His hand wiped the moisture from his face, his own expression one of shock. He hadn’t even felt it.

The fire demon couldn’t help but glare at his longtime confidant with the bitterness and loathing he felt towards himself. He didn’t need his judgement right now. It wasn’t his fault no one would let him into surgery with the ferry girl. “I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“It’s not an opinion, shorty,” Kuwabara declared, his voice steady but kind. “It’s a fact. We just ran into Hanako. Botan is out of surgery.”

Hiei’s eyes widened. How had he not known this? He looked back to the first room Botan was in but did not see her. Why hadn’t he been alerted? His core froze. Was Botan all right? What about the baby? Maybe he shouldn’t have wandered from the surgery area after all.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Kuwabara clapped a hand on Hiei’s shoulder and grinned. “Congratulations, man. You have a healthy baby boy.”

Hiei started to relax, but he wouldn’t be fully calm until he saw both his woman and his son. “Where is she?”

“Yusuke is with her,” Kurama offered. “Yukina called us to let us know Botan was in labor, and Hanako ran into us when we arrived. Yusuke stayed with her and Botan. We offered to come find and tell you how everything went.”

Hiei wilted a bit, his taught features drooped with exhaustion. “And?”

Kurama offered a compassionate grin. “Botan did well with the procedure. She’s going to make a full recovery.”

Overwhelming relief filled Hiei when Kurama said those words. It then occurred to Hiei that he had no idea what really happened in that operating room or what the surgery entailed. All he remembered was Hanako rushing him out of the room and Botan being in immense pain.

“Procedure…?” the fire demon repeated questioningly.

The fox nodded solemnly. “There were some complications, and Hanako needed to perform a cesarean, or a C-section.” Hiei appeared perplexed. He remembered the witch mentioning that but had no idea what it meant. “That’s where they surgically birth the baby instead of having Botan push the baby out naturally. It was the best course of action for them both. Hanako saved both their lives.”

The fox’s explanation did little to quell Hiei’s anxiety, but the fire demon was mildly comforted. Without a word, Hiei left his friends—yes, his friends—to find the detective and Botan. He needed to see with his own eyes that she was all right and safe.

Hiei tracked Botan down using the Jagan and was relieved to find her resting. The demon seemed to be thinking that word a lot, yet the magnitude of this alleviation couldn’t be described. Even though he could visualize the woman, Hiei wouldn’t fully be calmed until he was in her presence.

Once at the room, Hiei entered. Yusuke sat backwards on a chair next to Botan’s bed. When the detective noticed Hiei, he perked up and shot up off the chair. Although Yusuke’s eyes were filled with worry, he offered Hiei a grin and clapped a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything as he left the room, probably afraid to wake Botan with his boisterous congratulations. To be honest, Hiei was thankful. The fire demon needed time with his ferry girl.

First, though, Hiei needed to speak to Hanako. The woman stood beside Botan, her eyes cast on a machine with many numbers and lines. She wrote something down on a clipboard, but overall, her gaze softened and gave way to her exhaustion. As someone who always took lives, Hiei couldn’t even imagine the emotional toll it took saving lives, the unknown variables and actions that needed to be taken. Hanako surprised him. In time, he’d tell her, but right now he needed to know.

Hiei turned the chair next to Botan’s bed and sat down beside the ferry girl. He reached for and clasped her hand, reassured to feel the warmth emanate from her palm as she breathed softly. She was still unconscious from whatever drugs they pumped her with. The ferry girl’s features contorted a bit, and she hardly looked relaxed. Hiei’s thumb traced circles on her hand. Botan’s expression smoothed, and Hiei relaxed. The monitors continued to blip and beep in rhythm.

Breaking the near silence of the room, Hiei finally asked, “How did this happen?”

Hanako turned to Hiei, slightly startled by the abrupt question. This time, as she gave her explanation, she was calmer, less rushed, and more reassuring than she could be earlier. “Honestly, sometimes babies come earlier than expected. In this case, your baby just developed faster than average. The baby wasn’t in the right position, and his spirit energy went a little crazy. When I saw his heart rate and hers, I knew we had to move fast. Both Botan and the baby are going to be all right.”

Any lingering hardness in Hiei’s features lessened when Hanako confirmed what he already garnered from the others. The demon looked at Botan again as he brushed a strand of her hair from her face. The woman hummed in her sleep and mumbled incoherent syllables. A breath of a chuckle escaped the demon, thankful Botan was still alive and with him.

“You know, I didn’t give you much credit before,” Hiei recalled. “But…you should know…you do good work.” Hanako smiled but didn’t interrupt. “A nurse earlier was singing your praises earlier in attempts to reassure me.”

Hanako managed a soft laugh. “Well, I’m glad she was able to keep you calm.”

Hiei shook his head. “Don’t misunderstand. I still didn’t feel settled or secure in that, but I know now that I seriously underestimated you. That is not a mistake I will make again, doctor.”

At that acknowledgement of her title, Hanako’s expression lit up. She appeared highly amused as she grinned. “Shuichi owes me twenty bucks.” Hiei raised a brow, confused. “I bet him that you’d eventually stop calling me a ‘witch’.”

“I wouldn’t collect just yet,” Hiei snickered. “I have no intention of stopping, witch.”

Hanako was far from insulted. “I guess I tipped my hand too early,” the obstetrician joked. She moved to check Botan’s vitals again, despite knowing they were all good. The doctor looked as visibly relieved as Hiei felt. “To be honest,” she began, “I was scared too. I never expected to ever grow this close to one of my patients. It was sobering to have their lives in my hands. Every moment, I had to repeatedly ask myself if each step was the right course of action or if I was letting my attachment come into play. When I told you what was going on…I’m sorry I didn’t explain it properly. I know I was very…clinical. I am really sorry if I left you with more questions and anxiety.”

Again, Hiei stepped away from Botan and shook his head, to dissuade Hanako’s apologies. “At least one of us was able to remain detached and level-headed. I…never felt that type of thing before, panic over another’s life. Not like this.”

Hanako placed a hand on Hiei’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. Hiei nearly flinched, but the comforting gesture helped him to unwind. “Of course it’s different. I can see in your eyes just how much you care about Botan and your child. Anyone would be terrified, but it takes a strong individual to admit it.”

The demon scoffed a laugh, but otherwise didn’t deign her observation a response. “I’ll leave you with Botan,” Hanako told him. “I’m going to go check on your son. He was the epitome of health when I last saw him, and all his tests came back positive. He seems fully developed, but since he came prematurely, I’d follow up with a pediatrician. Make regular appointments.”

“I want you to do it,” Hiei blurted out.

Hanako was surprised and strangely touched by Hiei’s trust in her abilities. “I appreciate that, but pediatrics is not my field of expertise. I do have people I can recommend who are familiar with your type of situation, and I’ll always be here to offer you and Botan friendly advice.”

Accepting this, Hiei nodded his thanks. Hanako took that as a dismissal and left the two lovers alone. A little while later, the nurses came to see if Botan was awake. They made sure her bedding was still clean and brought the woman some food for when she woke up. Before the nurses left, Botan began to rouse.

The ferry girl stirred and reached in her sleep for something beside her. She tossed and turned a bit, bothered by her inability to find what she was looking for. Hiei heard his name leave her lips, and his crimson eyes widened in disbelief. It amazed him that Botan’s first thought after something so traumatic was for him—him to be there for her, by her side. Hiei quickly crossed the room to return to Botan’s side, ignoring the feeling of the nurses’ eyes on him. He took a seat by the bed and took her hand. The woman relaxed, as if she knew he were there and could feel him. Her hand was cold, so Hiei gave her some of his warmth. Eventually, her eyes scrunched before they blinked open.

Botan smiled sleepily at him. She tried to talk, but no words came out. Because of this, Hiei communicated with her through their minds. Surprise flickered over Botan’s features, but Hiei knew just how to trigger pleasure to alleviate her pain. She hummed in satisfaction and moved her head back to regard her demon lover.

What happened? Botan asked him.

She saw Hiei hesitate, but he filled her in. Other than the obvious part where the baby came early, he wasn’t in the right position. It caused him to panic, and his energy went out of control. That’s probably why you were in so much pain…

Mm, Botan responded tiredly. I feel a lot better now. Achy, but better. Your doing?

Heh, that and the drugs. His gaze softened. Botan…you two almost…

Hiei?

Hiei deflated as he admitted to Botan everything that he was told that day. Hanako needed to perform an emergency C-section. Kurama said that’s where they surgically remove the baby. I’m…sorry you went through that. I couldn’t be with you.

Botan managed to grab Hiei’s hand. She gave one of her brightest smiles, her eyes alit with love. It’s okay, Hiei. I understand. I’m just glad the baby and I are okay. Then, her grip tightened, and her body went rigid. Wait… Did you see him?

Hiei, where he wanted to see their son, he knew the boy was safe. He needed to make sure Botan was okay first. Seeing their child without her wasn’t an option to him. Honestly, Hiei knew that meeting would be overwhelming for him. Botan kept him centered and acted as the stability Hiei didn’t know he needed.

“Not yet,” he admitted aloud.

Botan relaxed a little, the smile still on her face, and closed her eyes. Then we’ll see him together.

Hiei squeezed Botan’s hand as she drifted off. His mind still reeled over all that happened in the past several hours. The experience had been frightening, and all the preparation for this day had not been effective. Nothing could have prepared them for this. Hiei admitted his terror the Hanako, and it was something Hiei never felt even in his toughest battles. He thought he would be ready for his son’s birth, but the complications that arose made the process even more unbearable.

With Botan asleep again, and the nurses gone from the room, Hiei whispered, “I’m glad you’re okay. I couldn’t do this without you.” It was surprisingly cathartic to get that off his chest, even if Botan couldn’t hear him.

When Botan awoke again, about an hour later, Hiei moved her food tray to her. The ferry girl happily munched on the hospital food, thankful to have anything in her stomach after such a crazy day. Hiei barely thought about food, and his hunger made itself known as Botan ate. She offered him half of the food—or more like insisted he eat it—which didn’t seem like the best. Hiei had eaten worse in his life, so he said nothing and just let the food do its job of satiating their hunger.

Hanako came to check on Botan again after a couple other uneventful deliveries, according to her. Strangely enough, Hiei felt the surprise inklings of gladness for the doctor, thankful she didn’t have another case like Botan’s during the day. Empathy was a very foreign concept to Hiei, but he figured it would be good to have it when dealing with a mate and child. As he thought this, he tilted his head to view Botan. She seemed happy, somewhat overly emotional, but free of anxiety and fear. The seasonal depression that afflicted her mere days ago didn’t seem to exist anymore as she conversed with her doctor and friend.

Then, Hanako left the couple alone to get their baby. Now that Botan had eaten and got some water, she could finally talk. For Hiei, that meant it was time to express his regrets.

“I’m sorry I caused this.”

Botan jolted out of her happy thoughts and looked at the fire demon in shock. “Um, what? Hiei, you didn’t cause any of this.”

After spending hours at Botan’s bedside, Hiei remembered a chapter in his guidebook that warned him about sex and the fact that it could lessen the risk of early birth. It was back when Kuwabara first suggested Hiei spend more time with the woman, back when he just started to get involved with the pregnancy and the appointments. He and Botan had a few moments between them back then, but Hiei still pulled away. The guidebook aggravated him when it suggested sex, but if Hiei had been in the place then that he was now, maybe this early birth wouldn’t have happened.

“The book I have. It…suggested, back during the beginnings, that we have sex to not only encourage an emotional connection and make you feel desired, but to reduce the risk of premature labor. I…I planned then that I would leave. I didn’t want to… Botan, I’m sorry.”

Instead of berating him, like Hiei expected, Botan was taken aback, and then she lightly, tiredly giggled. Her giggles turned to full on laughter, and Hiei jolted, uncertain over the woman’s reaction. She reached out for him, and Hiei walked over to her and took her hand. She weakly raised her arm to stroke his cheek.

“Hiei, that is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard,” she told him. Hiei still appeared conflicted. “Like Hanako said to me when I asked, the baby was ready to come. It had nothing to do with either of us. Back then, we were in a different place. You don’t have to feel guilty for that. Just know that our past, it didn’t cause the premature labor. Remember that you are the one who got our baby and me to safety.”

The fire demon leaned down and brushed his lips against Botan’s. The soft, gentle touch of his lips against hers caused pleasant tingles to fill them both. Hiei’s hands sneakily traveled to Botan’s back. He gently kneaded her muscles with his calloused hands. Botan sighed against his mouth.

Just then, Hanako returned with a little medical cart with a padded, plastic crib. The doctor lifted and carefully cradled the bundle against her. “Alright, you two. Are you ready to meet your son?”

Botan nodded vigorously as she tried to keep her tears at bay. She kept her cool as Hanako carefully placed the baby in the ferry girl’s arms. And then she looked at the child’s sleeping face and wept.

Hiei had to squash down the unnecessary and completely inaccurate thought that Botan was crying because she was ashamed. The fire demon knew the woman he chose was an emotional one, and her hormones made that ever clearer. Botan smiled so brightly through her tears, her eyes full of recognition, and her joy infectious. She stroked the baby’s face lovingly, and then looked at Hiei with so much love and adoration, for him and the baby. “He’s so beautiful.”

The fire demon finally shifted his gaze to the child, and his eyes widened as big as saucers when he took in the boy’s appearance. All of his emotions stilled. As impossible as it seemed, the baby looked nearly identical to the child that visited him and Botan in their mutual dream. That same black hair with blue sheen, those same candy-colored eyes, a reflection of both his father and mother. Hiei’s heart clenched in his chest. The boy wore that same smile, and Hiei was certain human babies normally couldn’t smile this early.

“What should we name him?”

The question snapped Hiei out of his reverie. To be honest, he forgot he had put the business of naming their son off for some time now. In the beginning, when he had that nightmare of having a daughter and Botan’s hatred and disgust, he’d been warned by his guidebook to start thinking of names. Because he planned to leave and have nothing to do with his child or Botan, Hiei didn’t have that head start. Again, guilt clawed its way into him, but he remembered Botan’s earlier comfort. They were different people now than they were in the past, him especially. It was time to make a decision.

As Hiei looked at the child, bundled in his mother’s arms with eyes now closed, he realized so much about this child. His smell was human, but Hiei could sense it. The boy contained Hiei’s demon energy. His son was already quite strong, and he would get stronger. Hiei wanted to name him something that reflected that strength. But then the baby opened his amethyst eyes, and all Hiei could see was that this child would grow up to be as pure and good as his mother, and the perfect name came to mind.

“Yoshio.”

It was a name that meant righteous boy. Once the name left Hiei’s lips, he realized that there was no better name suited for his brave little warrior, the one who constantly reached out to him during the pregnancy, who survived a potentially near-death experience on his first day of existence. Hiei met Botan’s gaze, and her happiness still radiated. The expression on her face told Hiei that she liked the name and approved.

“Yoshio,” she repeated adoringly. “Our little Yoshi.”

Hiei’s lips twitched into a sincere smile, but he quickly hid it. Even the boy’s nickname was accurate. He was a quiet child, calm, and full of peace.

Botan then said, “I have to ask, why that name?”

Hiei shrugged. “It just seems to fit our son,” he claimed. And it dawned on him, in that moment and not for the first time, that he claimed this baby, this child, as his own. Botan must have realized it too, for her eyes filled with more happy tears. Hiei’s hand left his side and purchased itself on their baby’s, on Yoshio’s, back. The two proud parents continued to gaze upon their little one with tender amazement. Eventually, Botan broke the silence, her wit returned to her.

“You know, for someone who said that you could only destroy, you helped create the most beautiful and precious little boy in all three worlds.” Her bright eyes met his, and she smiled widely as her gaze softened. “Thank you, Hiei.”

“Tch,” Hiei remarked.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. In his mind, just to himself, he said, No, thank you, woman.

Later, all their friends came together in that small room in the maternity ward. Yusuke and Keiko brought food from the family diner. Everyone hovered over the baby; the boy just smiled and took it in stride. Hiei predicted Yoshio would be a fan of their loud, ridiculous gatherings, just as Botan had a penchant for them. Kuwabara had left the hospital earlier, and he now returned with Yukina. Hiei figured the psychic must have planned to pick up Yukina from Genkai’s and escort her to the hospital safely to meet her nephew.

When Yukina entered the room, she happily greeted Botan, the ice maiden’s relief evident. Botan shifted her gaze to Hiei and nodded at him. The two shared an unspoken understanding. In that moment, Hiei slowly approached a bassinet and gently lifted his son in his arms. Despite taking turns holding the child all day, Hiei was still mesmerized by how fragile the boy seemed to be, yet the child was comfortable in Hiei’s arms despite the fact that he was once a cutthroat killer.

Hiei brought the child to Yukina and silently offered the boy to his aunt. Once in her arms, Hiei said, “Yukina, meet your nephew, Yoshio.”

Yukina smiled and cried a tear of joy as she held the baby close to her. The stone clanged as it hit the hospital floor.

“Oh, Hiei, he’s perfect,” she admired as she carefully hugged the baby. Carefully, with the child balanced in her arm, she reached down and picked up the stone that clattered to the ground. “I know it’s not the same, as our mother’s were for us, but I would like him to have this.”

Hiei nodded. He allowed Yukina to place the stone in his palm, and his hand clasped around hers the moment it touched his skin. “When he’s old enough to know the significance, I’m sure he’ll treasure it.”

Yukina beamed and then nuzzled her nephew, and then the maiden moved towards Botan. She took the ferry girl’s hand and squeezed it. “Thank you for bringing him into our lives.”

Botan grinned and leaned back against her fluffy pillows, courtesy of Kurama. She was exhausted, but so incredibly over the moon. The ferry girl looked around and saw the Kuwabara siblings catching up with Yusuke and Keiko. Kurama was at the door speaking to Hanako, and the two looked rather cozy. She met Hiei’s gaze. He’d hardly taken his off of her save to cast the occasional glance at their son, his overprotective nature kicked into overdrive. Botan closed her eyes to rest for a moment. Soon, she felt another blanket placed over her and a warm body settled beside her as the comforting voices of their family surrounded them.

Chapter Text

Botan was a completely different person after the pregnancy. The ferry girl no longer got anxious or depressed. She was always energetic, curious, and excited, and she always wanted to explore. Their little one inherited the latter trait. Hiei remembered all the times he and the woman crossed paths at the past gatherings he was strong-armed into attending. Her cheerful mood unwittingly drew him in and charmed him. It was the part, he realized, he loved most about her.

The apartment became their home. Hiei started to see the place as theirs, as his home, after he started sharing a room with Botan. He never dubbed it as such until Yoshio was born. It was so surreal to think, that at the beginning of this life changing event, Hiei had no family and no home. How quickly things changed.

Hiei never planned to have a child. He never intended to fall in love with a woman. Sometimes, he still couldn’t fathom how such a bright and caring woman could give her fragile heart to someone as dark and destructive as him. Those sentiments, though, were what filled his life with light. Everything of value he had was because of Botan.

“How was that, Dad?”

Hiei smirked as his son fell out of an offensive form, one of Genkai’s trees burned to a crisp. The fire demon nodded his approval, his arms crossed and posture fairly relaxed, as much as a militant could be. Every so often, Hiei brought Yoshio out to Genkai’s. It was in part to train somewhere where the young and energetic kid could train with abandon and get away with damages while he learned to gain control of his energy, as well as a chance for the boy to visit with his aunt. These trips became a part of Hiei’s routine when he was with his son. Consequently, Hiei grew more comfortable around his sister as the three bonded.

Yoshio ran up to Hiei and smiled brightly. The child was dressed in similar training outfit as Hiei, a light blue, sleeveless undershirt and black pants. A tear gem glistened in the sunlight; the boy’s treasured hiruiseki gifted by his Auntie Yukina. That was where the mirror image ended. Yoshio’s features reminded Hiei more of Botan every day. Instead of mimicking Hiei’s serious mannerisms, his eyes were open and full of emotion. Even now, his unbridled joy over his father’s approval and his excitement and eagerness to train shone through. Hiei never had to worry about his child hiding anything from him because his eyes always revealed everything.

“Your focus has improved,” Hiei praised stoically. “Last time, you wiped out an entire grove.”

Instead of feeling contempt at himself for past mistakes, Yoshio laughed bashfully and rubbed the back of his head. “When you were with Auntie Mukuro, Uncle Kuwa helped me with my meditation.”

The affectionate names jolted Hiei. He was used to hearing them, but even so it surprised him sometimes. It shouldn’t, he knew. After all, Kuwabara and all of Botan’s and Hiei’s companions were family to them and Yoshio. Also, as an idea of Botan’s, Mukuro and Koenma were the child’s ‘godparents’. It was the most logical course for the child who had ties in all three worlds. The protection it would award Yoshio in the future when the boy was strong enough to venture into Makai territory settled Hiei. The fire demon learned the day of his son’s birth that the strength that came with caring for another had the added consequence of fear for their lives. At least with such a powerful group behind him, Yoshio’s safety was assured.

Hiei’s smirk softened into something more affectionate. “Glad you’ve kept up with your training while I was away. Now, it’s time to see how well you hold yourself in a spar.”

If it were possible, Yoshio’s boyish grin grew even wider at the notion. Despite the kid’s inexperience, he was always eager to spar with his father. Of course, Hiei went easy on his son. Training Yoshio wasn’t the same as training Mukuro’s army. In a sense, Hiei grew more nurturing through training his son. Still, it brought Hiei pride that each and every time they sparred, he found he could use more energy. Yoshio was growing stronger by the day, impressive for a human child who resonated demonic aura.

Yoshio’s battle sense was still underdeveloped. He’d never been in a fight that was tilted unfairly or downright deadly. Where Hiei used unexpected moves, he knew he could never pretend to act murderous with his son. He had to teach him the skills he needed without making the boy fear for his life. Yoshio, thankfully, did not have to live in a kill or be killed world. Hiei was thankful for that.

While Yoshio laughed, thrilled that he could spar with his father, Hiei smirked. Seconds later, as Yoshio charged him, Hiei disappeared from sight and Yoshio tripped and fell. He looked up at the father who bested him. Instead of feeling irritation that his father for tripping him, the child looked at the man with warm eyes full of wonder and awe.

“You got me again,” Yoshio marveled. “I don’t know if I can beat your speed.”

Hiei’s eyes narrowed for a second before he released a sigh and held out his hand for his son to take. “Never admit a weakness,” Hiei warned. “Not to an enemy. As for what you said, don’t put limits on yourself. Aim to get stronger. Don’t surrender. Surpass me.”

Yoshio offered a shy smile, probably still doubtful he could reach Hiei’s level, at least for now. The child shook off his disappointment and took Hiei’s hand. “You’re right,” the kid replied. “Mom always says I can do anything if I put my mind to it.”

Hiei thought about Botan, a dull ache in his chest. Throughout the years, their relationship had grown stronger and more solid. There were times in the year they’d spend together, but the times they were apart always hit Hiei hard. He missed her, every day, but his son’s words reminded the fire demon that his ferry girl wasn’t so far away.

“Your mother is a wise woman,” Hiei admitted fondly.

Yoshio hugged his father’s arm after he stood up and smiled. “I love you, Dad.”

Hiei knew his son loved him, was told all the time at the strangest moments, much like now. Usually, he answered with a grunt before he loosely and awkwardly hugged the boy, which thankfully never bothered the child. Today, though, he knelt down, took the boy in his arms, and held him against him tightly. Botan was scheduled to return, and soon Hiei would return to Mukuro’s.

“I love you too, son,” Hiei voiced. I will miss you.

The two slowly walked back to the temple, hand in hand, in silence. Yoshio’s voice broke into that silence when he asked, “What time do you think Mommy will be home from work?”

Hiei’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know what time Botan would be done with her ferrying. This week at home with Yoshio sped by so quickly, and Hiei knew their family evening together would fly even faster. Tomorrow he would be on his way back to duty. He wasn’t ready for it. The fire demon didn’t get a chance to answer his son’s wondering because, not even a second later, Botan flew overhead and noticed them. She smiled and then landed. Yoshio released Hiei’s hand and ran over to embrace his mother.

Botan, as always, was so happy to see their son. The love that shone in the ferry girl’s eyes as her gaze fell on their son always stirred a longing in Hiei he could not explain. The looks she always gave him nearly stole his breath, just like now as she tilted her head up to meet his gaze. Her smile became more muted, but she still looked unbelievably happy to see him. Every time he saw her, his feelings burned deep inside of him. For now, they had their son between them, so Hiei could not act on the desire he had for her.

“Hey, there,” she greeted. Hiei nodded in response, and Botan’s smile grew. “I know I’m early.”

She was, but Hiei didn’t mind. It meant there was time to spend with the woman and their son before he needed to return to Mukuro’s.

“Is everything all right?" Hiei asked as he approached the mother/son pair. His brow furrowed in concern. “You look tired.”

“Yeah, Koenma noticed that too,” the ferry girl admitted. “He…actually gave me some time off.”

“How long?”

“Several months.”

That came as a surprise to Hiei. Normally, their stints away from home weren’t so long so that both would get to spend time with Yoshio and together. Worry filtered in, but he snuffed it down. There was no sense to alert their kid. But there was something he needed to do.

I’m taking off.

Hiei, I’m surprised to hear from you so early, Mukuro’s voice rang in his head, especially to ask for leave. Is everything all right? Is it my godson?

Yoshio is fine, Hiei amended. The ferry girl is back early. She looks unwell, and Koenma gave her time off for it.

Ah, so it’s your mate. It is fine. We can do without you for a while. Enjoy your time with your family.

Hn…

“Anyway, Yoshi,” the ferry girl’s voice chimed, “why don’t you go see if Auntie Yukina needs help with dinner or setting the table. Let her know there’s one more.”

Eager and excited, Yoshio ran for the door. “Kay, Mom!”

Once alone, Hiei slowly approached Botan. It was as if there was electricity between them. When Hiei finally touched the woman, she connected their lips in a kiss. Hiei’s hand wound its way into her hair as he deepened it.

The two broke apart, and Botan rested her forehead gently against his, mindful of the Jagan beneath his bandana. “Hi,” she whispered against his lips.

“Ferry girl,” Hiei greeted fondly.

Botan smiled, unoffended. “How have you been?”

“Fine. What are you doing back so soon?”

Botan looked like she had something important to say, but she hesitated. “I just know that you need to return Mukuro’s.”

“I took leave from Mukuro.”

Botan was surprised. That clearly wasn’t the news she was expecting. She froze and gawped at her lover. “O-oh,” she murmured airily. “Why?”

Hiei glanced over at the temple, and Botan instantly understood that the demon didn’t want to leave his son behind for so long. He actually once expressed wanting to bring Yoshi to Demon World, but not until he was a little older and much stronger so that he could handle himself.

Then he looked at her; his eyes studied her form. He didn’t need to explain, but in addition to not wanting to leave there son, Hiei was worried for her.

“How long did you take off?” Botan asked.

Hiei answered with a shrug. “However long you need me here, until you feel well again. At most, a couple months.”

The ferry girl bit her lip nervously, anticipation building within her as she looked like she wanted to jump. Her arms wrapped around her back, and she leaned into her hip. “Um, would you be able to get off longer?”

It was Hiei’s turn to be perplexed. His brow furrowed, and he leaned in to scrutinize her. Botan smiled sheepishly, but still acted shy and bashful. His mouth dropped open before he cleared his throat. “Why?”

Botan took a breath and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could answer, their son came outside with Yukina.

Yukina walked to Botan and gave the woman a hug, which Botan gladly returned. “Welcome back,” the ice maiden greeted. “I hear you’re going to be with us for a while.”

“We both will be,” Hiei replied. He saw his son light up at that. A big, beaming grin and unbridled enthusiasm were the signs that Yoshio was thrilled. That and his chattering.

“That’s awesome!” the child exclaimed. “We can go on picnics and swimming and to the movies and train and…”

The list continued as Yoshio ran inside the temple. The three adults all exchanged glances with one another, the two women smiling knowingly. The couple followed their son in, ready to eat.

The family spent the whole day together. After dinner, Hiei and Botan took Yoshio to the beach down the hill. It was so surreal to see someone with fire abilities take to the water. The two parents watched from the water’s edge while Yoshi splashed and played, careful not to go too far. Eventually, Botan could not contain her childish antics and joined their son in the water.

Hiei sat down in the sand and watched the two. It always made him feel lighter when he saw Botan and Yoshio together. Where he was stern and strict, Botan was more playful, open, and encouraged the child to talk about everything. It didn’t mean she wasn’t stern about Yoshi’s safety or behavior, but he thankfully listened when he was told ‘no’. Yoshio seemed to adore both his parents despite their gaping differences.

Once Yoshio was sufficiently worn out, the family returned to Genkai’s, determined to spend the night. Hiei stood at the doorway of his son’s guest room, arms crossed and back to the frame. Yoshio was buried under his blankets, his head on the pillow. Botan read him a bedtime story, and by the end, Yoshio was asleep with a joyful smile on his lips.

Quietly, Botan got up from the bed and slowly and silently backed her way to the door. Once in the hall, she closed the door carefully and then found herself pinned to the wall. Strong hands held her wrists as Hiei leaned in and inhaled deeply. He nipped at the skin of Botan’s neck, and the woman had to muffle a soft moan by burying herself against his hair.

“Why are you taking so much time off?” Hiei huskily questioned.

Hiei expected Botan to stammer an answer, but a light laugh escaped her, and her hands found purchase against the heated skin of his face. Her cool fingertips traced unrecognizable patterns. She smiled brightly at her lover, and then moved her hands to take his.

When Botan placed Hiei’s hands on her belly, he immediately understood. His eyes grew wide, his mouth dropped. The fire demon was stunned.

“Hiei, I wanted to tell you earlier, but…” she paused and released a contented sigh. “We’re going to have another baby.”

Hiei was completely surprised by the new, but instead of the panic and anger he felt the first time, this felt right. He leaned in and kissed the ferry girl and traced his hands all over her body. Botan felt warms and pleasant tingles, her body sensitive to her mate’s touch. She smiled into the kiss and knew that this time, she and Hiei would be in this together from the very start, 100%. Likewise, Hiei was prepared to do it right this time. After all, now that he and the ferry girl were together, he knew how to handle even the unexpected.