Chapter Text
Ben feels tiny as she stands in front of the temple.
She is tiny, after all, and standing in front of the giant temple is humbling and would, were she not so familiar with the place, be terrifying. Qui-Gon, who refused to let go of her hand once she accepted, tugs her gently along.
Behind them, trails Xanatos (Ben was immensely pleased by her lack of outward reaction when she first saw him). This Xanatos is broody, independent but not fallen. Ben does not know if she can save him. She does not know if she should try.
She chooses to ignore him for the time being and he seems perfectly happy with that arrangement.
She has other things to do after all - namely taking a shower because the mud is starting to turn sludgy and she does not want to die of mortification for dirtying the Temple. The Intiaties and Padawans have experience mopping blood up but she doesn’t not know if they have ever dealt with mud before.
She is too tired to delve into Obi-Wan’s memories.
Qui-Gon was kind enough to feed her but even Obi-Wan did not always feel safe enough to sleep around him all the time. Aben’yaa did not feel safe around anyone except her fellow Lyr. Ben does not feel safe to sleep around anyone really - except maybe crèchelings but she does not know if the Jedi Council will keep her.
They owe her nothing, she has no real blackmail material and they do not love her. She is completely at their mercy and she does not like it.
She does not want to be at anyone or anything’s mercy ever again. Of course, such a thing is entirely unfeasible for she shall always be at the Force’s mercy and she knows better than to believe she will never have to rely on strangers. Still, she promises herself that she will do her best to avoid such a thing.
Yoda would have said ‘do or do not, there is no try’ but that only really works in the Temple and even then there are exceptions.
A smile, unbidden, creeps across her face at the mention of the old master. From what she- he recalls, Yoda spent quite a lot of time with the younglings. Perhaps if she is admitted, she can teach him some things in turn. He has always been stubborn but not overly so.
It will be nice to see Yoda for the first time or again, whether it be but briefly or for a longer time. Perhaps they will propose a trial period?
Lost in her thoughts as she is, she does not realise where they are until Qui-Gon comes to a stop. She cranes her neck around and surely enough, Xanatos stands behind them. She is relieved to see the mud and grime has not yet started to melt and drip enough to leave a trail.
Qui-Gon seems oblivious, her mud-caked hand still gripped in his. She would let go, should let go but his handling of her is so different to that of her- Aben’yaa’s (not hers, never) master’s or that of Obi-Wan’s enemies that she does not want to extract her hand from his. ‘Touch-starved’ Obi-Wan catalogues. ‘Kind-touch-starved’ Aben’yaa corrects.
Qui-Gon kneels in front of her again so that their eyes are level. “We are going to meet some very important people, will you behave?”
Ben nods decisively.
Qui-Gon smiles tentatively and Obi-Wan aches at the sight. Ben obediently follows Qui-Gon into a chamber. She recognises some of the members but once one meets her eyes, she turns her gaze to the ground. It is pretty ground too, smooth and marble.
The council addresses Qui-Gon and then Xanatos and they give their reports diligently. Ben tries not to fiddle but she really wants to shuffle. Obi-Wan stopped being intimidated by the council a long time ago but Aben’yaa does not welcome any attention from those who are not Lyr.
It is because of this that when Qui-Gon next says ‘Master’, Ben loses control of herself. She is Aben’yaa now, unprepared to acknowledge Obi-Wan’s insistence that it is simply a title of respect. Aben’yaa has no wish to ever face a Master and certainly no wish to face a council full of them.
She flinches next to Qui-Gon and looks out with Obi-Wan’s eyes to extract herself from the room. She does not know if she will make it out of the temple before she is captured but she has to try.
Ben acts quickly, with Aben’yaa’s determination and Obi-Wan’s strategic mind. She slips her hand out of Qui-Gon’s fluidly, wraps the Force around herself tightly, ducks around a stationary Xanatos and flees. She makes it to the other side of the temple before her mind finally catches up.
Obi-Wan sighs unhappily - he will never get to stay here now. Aben’yaa frowns but defends her actions and Ben begins to mourn possible free food and somewhere to rest.
Slowly, she retraces her steps, Obi-Wan guiding her when she falters and begins to leave the temple. The Force thrums silently and Ben laughs bitterly inside her head. Why does the Force always forsake her in moments like this? Typical, just typical.
That is, of course, when Qui-Gon is suddenly in front of her.
She wants to run, Aben’yaa screams to run and Obi-Wan screams to stay and grovel and Ben just needs to get away from it all but he opens his mouth and she owes it to him to listen. He did feed her after all, even if it was to bring her to slavers/people of high standing. Ben speaks before he can, the horror of Aben’yaa spilling into her words. As much as Obi-Wan trusts the Jedi, he does not know how he came to live among them.
”You brought me to slavers!” she hisses, partly because Aben’yaa believes it and partly because Ben needs to see his reaction. Obi-Wan watches silently.
Qui-Gon says nothing.
”Not again!” Aben’yaa hisses, “Not again!”
Qui-Gon does not move and Obi-Wan wilts.
Aben’yaa spits, “Kill me first!” and Qui-Gon steps closer.
Ben closes her eyes.