Archive of Our Own

Luz would be lying if she said that she hadn’t noticed how easily Hunter got frustrated, and how angry it made him. 

It really became apparent to her the night he’d tried to take the palismen to Belos, when the coven guards didn’t take him seriously. When she had quickly hidden his staff. He’d gotten so angry so quickly, and his face was so red, that Luz had actually found it funny at the time (she still kinda did). 

She had eventually come to find that Hunter’s frustration was ignited rather often, which had only become more and more clear once he’d moved into the Owl House. There didn’t always seem to be a rhyme or reason to it, and he didn’t get frustrated about everything (in fact, he was usually rather patient with Lil Rascal). One time, he’d blown up about Luz touching his things (what little he actually had now), even though she had just been trying to help by putting them away. Another time, Eda had given him some clothes from her junk piles and insisted he try on a ridiculous suit covered in sequins. Hunter had actually put it on, albeit with a roll of his eyes (and with some hesitance and a little apprehension. Luz worried that he might have been afraid of what would have happened if he said no). Once he’d put it on, though, he spent the rest of the day snapping at all of them, and eventually, he threw the suit off and loudly declared that he hated it before storming off and hiding in his room for the rest of the day. Then there were all the times Luz was making noise just for the sake of noise, which was a frequent reason for Hunter getting frustrated. He didn’t always yell at her about it, but once she realized what she was doing, she would look at Hunter and see him clearly trying to hold himself back from doing so. 

Sometimes it was hard to deal with, but Luz pretty much chalked it up to a lifetime of living with his crazy, abusive uncle and subsequently running away to live with them (it still surprised her that Amity had gotten through to him). 

But she was starting to think something else might have been going on. 

Hunter had been agitated all day, and she guessed that he hadn’t slept well (when did he ever?). He was pacing and tapping his fingers on the sides of his legs, and whenever anyone tried to talk to him, he would just growl in response. It was safe to say he was grumpy. Everyone thought he just needed some time to calm down, so they left him to his pacing and went on with what they were doing. 

Except he wouldn’t stop pacing, and in fact, he seemed to only get even more agitated. 

It all came to a head when Eda finally decided enough was enough and that Hunter needed to have a chat about whatever it was that was bothering him. As such, Eda tried to get his attention by calling out to him, only to be met with the same growls as before. Repeating this didn’t get her anywhere, so she reached a hand out and put it on his shoulder, trying to get him to stop pacing long enough for them to talk. 

He recoiled instantly, much stronger than either of them had seen from him in a long time now. 

“ Don’t. Touch! ” he shouted, the first time he’d actually spoken to them that day. 

Hearing and seeing how worked up he already was, Eda let go and put her hands up in the air. 

“Got it, no touching. Sorry about that,” she agreed. “But what’s up, kid? Something’s gotten you real bent outta shape today.”

Surprisingly, Hunter didn’t go back to pacing. Instead, he was shuffling his feet around strangely, almost tapping them, and gripping tightly onto his arms. He didn’t answer, either, nor would he look either of them in the eye. His lips moved in a wobbling grimace, as if he wanted to say something, but his lips remained shut. 

“Come on, kid, ya gotta give me something here.”

But the shuffling just escalated, getting faster and louder, and Luz was shocked to see that tears were building up in the corner of Hunter’s eyes. 

Suddenly, Hunter dropped to the ground, and for a terrifying moment, Luz thought he had fainted. Then, she saw that he was sitting down and still conscious. 

He didn’t seem to be doing well, though. 

Now, he was rocking slightly, his eyes screwed shut as he pulled on his hair. He was making some kind of whiny noise, which Luz had never before heard the boy make. 

Eda crouched down in front of him, and Luz followed suit. 

“Hey, hey, don’t do that,” Eda told him, trying to get him to release his hair without touching him. “Tell us what’s wrong, okay? Tell us so we can fix it.”

Luz wasn’t sure if Hunter could hear Eda or not, since he didn’t really reply, but he did seem to make an attempt to loosen his grip. 

“Eda’s right, Hunter,” Luz chimed in. “Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it.”

It took a few more moments of rocking, but Hunter eventually cracked open his eyes and looked at them. That was good. But instead of answering, he let go of his hair and started vaguely gesturing. Luz’s first thought was that he was trying to use some kind of sign language, but it certainly didn’t look like any sign language she’d seen in the human world. A glance toward Eda confirmed that she was just as confused. 

“Use your words, kid,” Eda directed. “We don’t know how to help if you don’t tell us.”

A hurt expression crossed Hunter’s face, but Luz had to force herself to put that on the back burner for now. Right now, they had to deal with whatever was happening with him, and they could deal with the other thing later. 

Hunter’s jaw started moving again, and this time, he opened his mouth. But then he closed it, only to open it up again. What finally came out wasn’t anything recognizable as words. 

“Mmmmm… I. Th-cnt.”

It was punctuated by a frustrated groan and a renewal of the rocking and hair pulling. 

“… Do you think he’s having a panic attack…?” Luz questioned. 

“I dunno, Luz. But could you get some paper and a pen? I don’t think Hunter can talk right now,” Eda requested. 

“Okay!” Luz agreed quickly, glad that there was something she could do to help in this situation.

And with that, Luz hopped up and went to grab the pen and paper. Upon her return, she found Hunter pulling his hair even tighter and Eda gently grabbing his fingers, trying to pull them off. The touching, however, just seemed to be making things worse. Luz didn’t have any better ideas of getting him to stop, though. 

“I got them,” she announced. 

Luz then knelt back down and set the items in front of Hunter, though she knew he probably wouldn’t be using them quite yet. Eda, meanwhile, gave up on prying away Hunter’s fingers from himself and sat back. 

“Maybe we’re gonna just have to ride this out,” Eda decided seriously. 

And Luz didn’t like that. She wanted to help her friend, who was clearly suffering right in front of her. But aside from holding him down, there wasn’t really anything they could do. Hopefully the hair pulling wasn’t causing too much damage. 

And so, ride it out they did. Hunter continued rocking and pulling and crying, and the two of them had to just sit back as silent support. But Hunter did start to stop, eventually. It began with the loosening of his fingers again, and then the rocking slowed, becoming less desperate. After a long while, the rocking stopped entirely, and Hunter finally released his hair, letting his hands fall to his lap. He continued to sit quietly for a few more minutes, and so did they, not wanting to risk sending him back into whatever had happened. 

Finally, Hunter seemed to be a bit more aware of them and the room around them. His ears flushed red, and he was still determinedly avoiding their eyes, but they could tell that the worst of it was done with. 

“Hunter?”

“You okay there, kid?” Eda asked him. “What was that all about?”

Hunter hiked his shoulders up, and then he finally saw the notepad. He reached for it with shaky hands and scratched something down quickly before shoving the notepad back at them. 

‘It hurts.’

And those two little words were enough to send both of them into a panic. 

“What hurts?!” 

“What happened?!”

Hunter let out a short scream as the two of them both exclaimed at once. Then, he looked at them with a pained expression, looking like he was silently begging. 

“… Would it help if we whispered?” Luz asked. 

At this, Hunter gave a nod, and so they both lowered their voices. 

“Okay, Hunter,” Eda spoke quietly. “I know you’re upset, but you really need to tell us what’s wrong. If you’re hurt, you need to let us help.”

Thankfully, Hunter took the notepad back and wrote something else down. Then, he handed the paper to Eda, seemingly trying to keep Luz from looking at it. It was weird, but even still, Luz was glad to see Eda’s shoulders slump a little in relief. 

“Okay. We can do something about that. That’s not a problem,” said Eda. “But that’s not all that’s wrong, is it?”

Hunter considered for a moment before shaking his head. 

“What else is wrong, then?” Eda questioned, her voice gentle yet firm. 

Surprisingly, Hunter didn’t pick up the pen again. Instead, he opened his mouth and suddenly started talking, albeit much less eloquently than he usually would. 

“I. It,” he started. “Nightmare. And so loud . And hurts. Too much.” 

His voice was short and clipped, with a layer of pain. The syllables danced in tone, some coming out normally, while others pitched strangely in a stilted melody. 

Too much . 

And suddenly, something clicked in Luz’s head. 

She was about 90% sure that Hunter was autistic. 

This was probably some kind of sensory overload. 

Oh. 

That’s probably why he was so agitated whenever she got too loud or changed things around, or if he couldn’t stand the texture of his clothes. He wasn’t just frustrated, he was really distressed by it. 

Looking at Eda again, Luz wondered whether or not she knew. Was autism a thing in the Boiling Isles (or, a named thing)? If it was, did Eda know what it was, let alone how to help?

“Alright. Thank you for telling us,” Eda said. “Why don’t the two of you go sit on the couch, and I’ll be right back.”

With that, Eda left, and Luz wasn’t sure if she should try to help Hunter up. He, however, made that decision himself as he shakily got to his feet and stumbled over to the lumpy cushions. He collapsed onto them and curled back up in his ball, his fingers tapping his thumb in one of the patterns she recognized. 

“Hey, Hunter, what can I do to help?” Luz asked softly. 

“Dunno.” 

“Okay, how about…”

She trailed off to think for a moment. What kind of things helped in these kinds of situations. She was sure she’d read something about this at some point… Oh! Weighted blankets! They didn’t have any, but maybe a normal blanket would help, even a little. 

“Do you want me to grab the blanket?”

After a moment, he nodded. 

Luckily, the blanket was nearby, laying on the floor by the couch, so Luz didn’t even need to get up. She scooped up the thick fabric and held it out, but Hunter didn’t take it immediately. 

“Do you want to do it, or do you want me to help wrap you in it?”

Hunter looked down at the floor, his finger tapping going steady, until he eventually spoke. 

“… Help,” he chose, his voice timid with what sounded like shame. 

Of course, there was no shame in needing help or in any of what just happened, but now wasn’t the time for that talk, either. 

“Okay.”

And so, Luz carefully wrapped the blanket around her friend, trying not to touch him. He tensed up while she was doing it, but he visibly relaxed once it was done. And as he pulled the blanket tighter, adjusting it so half of his face was hidden, he seemed relieved. 

It was then that Eda came back. 

“Found em’!” she exclaimed, carrying a white bottle and a glass of water. 

Eda set down both on the coffee table in front of Hunter, and once Eda had flopped down into her own chair, he slowly reached out for them. He opened the bottle and tipped it over into his hand. A pile of while pills poured out, and Hunter returned all but two back to the bottle. 

Luz then recognized what they were: painkillers. 

So Hunter was hurt then? But if he was hurt, wouldn’t Eda have gotten something to help heal it rather than just deal with the pain? It was another thing to put on the back burner, since she trusted Eda to know what to do with what Hunter told her.

Again, they say in silence for a long time, letting Hunter continue to calm down and waiting for him to initiate any further discussion rather than try to force it out of him. When he did speak, both Eda and Luz didn’t like what he said: 

“Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, kid,” Eda reassured him. “We just wanted to help you. We’re not mad.”

“I’m sorry,” Hunter repeated, the tears suddenly springing back into his eyes, those which fell being absorbed into the blanket. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t.”

“We know… We know, really.”

But Hunter didn’t seem to hear her, and he just continued with his apology. 

“I don’t usually get that bad,” he told them, the words now pouring out. “But I had a really bad nightmare last night, and when I woke up, I couldn’t tell if it really happened or not, and I was really confused and I couldn’t go back to sleep, and my cramps were really bad and I felt like I was gonna throw up, and everything was really loud, and people were talking and I didn’t- I didn’t mean to throw a tantrum. I didn’t!”

The desperation in the boy’s tone hurt. They knew that voice. That was the voice he used when he thought they were going to act like Belos- when he thought they were going to hurt him or throw him out. 

“No one’s mad at you, kid.”

But Hunter still continued. 

“It was just too many things. It won’t happen again, I swear! I won’t do it again!”

“Hunter. I need you to try to take a few deep breaths,” Eda cut in. “You need to calm down. No one is angry with you right now. Not me, and not Luz. What just happened was upsetting because we were worried about you. We weren’t mad.”

“You should be,” Hunter cried. “I threw a tantrum like a toddler.”

This was when Luz chimed back in, not wanting Hunter to blame himself for something he couldn’t control.

“No, Hunter, that wasn’t a tantrum,” Luz denied. “It was a symptom.”

When Hunter gave her a confused, watery stare, she realized she had to continue. 

“I’m not really sure since I’m not a doctor or anything, but… Hunter, do you know what autism is?”

He shook his head, quirking a confused eyebrow at her. 

“Well… it’s just something some people are born with, like a different way of seeing the world,” Luz explained. “And it’s not bad or anything, but it can sometimes make things difficult for the people who have it.”

Luz shifted awkwardly. 

“I mean, there’s lots of things I’ve noticed you doing for a while now that make more sense if that’s what’s going on,” she continued. “I didn’t really connect them, or I thought it was just trauma, but today, something clicked.”

Hunter shuffled beneath the blanket.

“… What kind of things?”

Luz tapped her foot. 

“Well… besides what just happened, you get frustrated really easily, especially when things don’t go your way. And you can’t stand certain textures, especially on clothes. You also avoid eye contact a lot, and your social skills are a bit…,” Luz trailed off, not wanting to say anything too rude. “You’re also super interested in learning about wild magic, and you stim a lot. More than before, actually, and I’m pretty sure you not doing it was because of trauma.”

Hunter was quiet for a long time before speaking again. 

“But don’t normal people do that stuff, too…?”

Luz frowned. 

“Okay, first of all, there’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ person, and being autistic doesn’t make you bad or worse than anyone else,” she explained. “And yeah, a lot of people who aren’t autistic do some things that autistic people do. Plus, it’s a spectrum, so the severity of symptoms varies.”

She glanced at Eda to see how she was reacting, but the older woman was keeping her face calmly neutral. 

“But the difference is how many of the symptoms someone has and how much they affect their lives. You can be shy or something and not be autistic. You can hate your clothes and not be autistic,” Luz continued. “But if you really can’t figure out social interactions, or if the feeling of your clothes makes you want to cry and it ruins your day… that’s a sign that it’s impacting your life.”

The boy beside her frowned.

“Oh,” Hunter spoke simply. “What am I supposed to do about it, then?”

“Well, like I said, I’m not a doctor. But…,” she replied. “It’s not something you can ‘fix’, and it doesn’t necessarily need any ‘fixing’. But it might mean that you need extra support. Like a notepad for if you can’t talk. Or getting some fidget toys. Or making a code so we know when you’re overwhelmed.”

Hunter let out a deep sigh before burying his face deep into the blankets.

“… Okay,” he sighed. “Why do you know all this, though?”

“Oh, I got tested for autism when I was younger, and I looked up a bunch of stuff about it later,” said Luz. “Turns out I have ADHD, though.”

“Oh… Okay.”

The three of them continued sitting for a while until Luz announced that she needed to do something else. Eda eventually also left, more because she thought Hunter might want some alone time than because she particularly had any plans. Hunter just continued to sit on the couch wrapped in the blanket. 

Eventually, Eda decided to start dinner, since it was getting pretty late. Surprisingly, she quickly found Hunter joining her. 

“Hey, kid. Feeling any better?”

He nodded, and Eda nodded back at him. 

“Well, that’s good. Glad to hear it.”

She was rummaging in the fridge when she heard the quiet question. 

“… Can I ask you something?”

Taking out the ingredients and setting them down on the counter, she refocused her attention on the boy. 

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Can you not… tell me to ‘use my words’?” Hunter requested. “It’s just… uncle used to say that… whenever I couldn’t talk, and he’d get really angry at me if I couldn’t. I… it doesn’t happen usually, and I can talk fine most of the time, but… when I can’t, I can’t.”

Eda felt her heart break with a stab of guilt. 

“Oh, sorry kid. I didn’t realize that would upset you. I just needed to know what was wrong.”

Hunter looked away.

“… I know. I just… figured you’d listen if I asked you not to say it,” Hunter agreed, running a hand through his own hair. “I don’t like it.”

“Alright, then I won’t say it again. Pinky swear.”

Eda held up a pinky and started to turn back to the ingredients.

“… Thanks.”

“Anytime, kid.”