Chapter Text
Kusatsu Kinshirou sat at one end of the sofa, sipping his tea. Next to him sat a dark-haired boy in a school uniform. Across from them on another sofa sat a boy with a white undercut and a boy with long, blue hair. The latter was also drinking tea.
“I suppose we should introduce ourselves. Then we should discuss our theories for what this place is, as well as why we are here,” Kinshirou stated, placing his cup back on its saucer, in turn placing it on the table in front of him.
“Oh! I’ll go first!” the boy with the undercut exclaimed. “I’m Hatchi Kita. I found the door in the middle of Robby’s ship, and so I decided to go through it. And now I’m here!”
The dark-haired boy tilted his head. “Robby?”
“Mhm! Robby Yarge! We’re on a journey to the matchmaking planet of Izumondar!”
“Interesting…” The blue-haired boy twirled some hair around his finger. “I’m Student Council President Seiren Uruu. I also found a door that was out-of-place—more out-of-place than usual, that is.”
“I am Ibusuki Ata, and I am also the President of my school’s Student Council. Similarly, there was a door that suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of my desk in the council room. It led to a waiting room, and then a door in that room led here.”
“And I am Kusatsu Kinshirou, President of my school’s Student Council, as well. Similarly, the door appeared in the council room, but in front of an already existing door. I thought someone had simply replaced the door, until I opened it.”
“So we all found a mystery door?” Hatchi asked. “How exciting! So where did they come from? Why did they appear for us? And where did you get your tea from?”
“Since this wasn’t the usual out-of-place door in my case,” Uruu replied, “I decided to bring my tea with me.”
“As did I,” Kinshirou replied. “Though I have to ask, why do you keep bringing up doors that are usually out-of-place for you?”
“Unfortunately, I can’t tell you,” Uruu replied through a smirk, stirring his tea.
Kinshirou shifted his gaze to Hatchi. “And as for you, your voice sounds very familiar. Have we met before?”
“What? No, I don’t believe so. But now that you mention it, you do look a bit familiar…though I don’t think I remember meeting you. Maybe I saw a picture of you?”
Kinshirou’s eyes widened, Hatchi’s earlier mention of interplanetary travel coming back to him. He picked up his tea and took a sip, before replying with, “I suppose anything is possible.”
“Shouldn’t we get to the bottom of why we were chosen to be here?” Ata asked. “While it is true that we could be here because we’ve all met previously, it should be easier to determine why we’re here by what we have in common instead of trying to remember possible times and places we could have met.”
“True,” Kinshirou replied. “The three of us are Council Presidents. Hatchi, are you as well?”
“Huh? No, I’m not. In fact, I skipped grades and graduated college a long time ago.”
“In that case, are you currently in any leadership position?” Uruu asked.
“Oh! Yes, I am!”
“And what position would that be?”
“I… None of you recognize me?”
Kinshirou furrowed his brow. “Aside from your voice being familiar, I don’t recognize you.”
Ata and Uruu shook their heads.
“Well, you could say I’m in a leadership position, but I’d rather not specify what it is, exactly.”
“Perhaps that’s why we’re all here, then?” Ata asked. “This is a leadership summit of sorts?”
Uruu clicked his tongue. “I still feel there’s something more…” His eyes lit up. “Ah, it completely slipped my mind!” He placed his cup and saucer down on the table and revealed three pink business cards, passing them out to the three boys.
“‘Bar F’?” Kinshirou read aloud. “We’re in high school, holding positions in our esteemed Councils, and you decide to advertise a den of iniquity to us? You should be ashamed of yourself, Seiren.”
“I’m not in high school, though. So it should be fine for me, right?” Hatchi asked, flipping the card over. “‘We’ll save your heart’? Sounds so cool!”
“It’s not a ‘den of iniquity,’ Kusatsu,” Uruu explained, displeased at the accusation. “It’s a family establishment. Our specialty is curry—”
Kinshirou tore his card in half once, then rotated the strips and tore it once more.
Uruu glared at him. “Now, there was no need for that.”
“My apologies. I suppose it was a bit rash. I just can’t stand the smell or taste of curry. It’s too spicy, and it’s also attached to negative memories.”
“I understand,” Uruu replied. “However, our curry isn’t spicy. In fact, it’s been only recently that I have entertained the idea of things that will make it hot.”
“Spicy or not, I’d love to try some!” Hatchi leaned towards Uruu. “Bar F is on Earth, right? I’ll have to bring Robby once we return!”
“Perfect!” Uruu turned to Ata. “What’s your opinion on the matter, Ibusuki?”
“I’m impartial to curry. Perhaps if it were nagashi somen, I would be more inclined to visit. I’m curious and must ask, what was it that made you interested in ‘hot’ things recently?”
Uruu’s face became beet red. “Well, I—”
“Oh, is it because of someone you like?” Hatchi asked.
“If that’s the case, then perhaps that’s the connection that brought us here,” Ata pondered. “Hatchi, you mentioned you’re going to a planet of matchmaking. Could it be that the four of us are here because we need support or advice for our future relationships?”
Kinshirou narrowed his eyes at Ata. “As Student Council Presidents, we should not be pursuing romance.” He turned to Uruu. “Seiren, have you been interested in spice recently because of someone you like?”
“Yes.” He balled his fists on his knees. “His name is Hoterase Homura, and I have completely fallen for his sweltering emotionality.”
Hatchi rested his chin in his hands, elbows on his knees. “Aw, that’s so sweet! What’s he like?”
“At first, I couldn’t stand him. He was the bane of my existence—a delinquent at school, skipping classes and getting in fights with other students—and I swore to eliminate him. However, we’ve been through a lot together. I saved him from drowning, and he gave me a shoulder to cry on when I felt it was time to open up about a certain event in my past that I had held against him. Finally, I kissed him to show that I forgave him.”
“So you’re dating now?” Ata asked.
Uruu lifted his head. “No, we’re not. Ever since the kiss, he’s been avoiding me.”
“It’s probably for the best,” Kinshirou stated. “Dating a delinquent while you’re the Council President would tarnish not only your reputation, but the school’s.”
“At this point, I don’t care about reputation!” Uruu exclaimed, standing up. “I just want Homura!” After a pause, he slowly sat back down, picking up his tea. “My apologies for that outburst.”
Before Kinshirou or Ata could reprimand Uruu, Hatchi chimed in, “It’s all right! I kind of know how you feel!”
“You do?”
“Mhm! Robby and I didn’t get along at first. I was job hopping and worked as a debt collector, and I came to collect his debt, but ended up tagging along with him to go to Isekandar. At one point, being cooped up in the ship made us go crazy. We built a wall to divide the common area, and I accidentally set it on fire! But we’ve become friends for life.”
“Hatchi,” Kinshirou interjected, “being friends with someone is different than having the desire to date them.”
“I mean, Robby and I did technically get married, although accidentally.”
“What.”
“We rang the Lovely Bell together on Lovely Star Night in the Fairy Tale Lovely Fantasy Castle on Akka Sakka, binding us together forever.”
Uruu tilted his head. “Fascinating. And what does Robby think about that?”
“Oh! Uh…” Hatchi leaned back, sheepishly. “He doesn’t know…”
“You should tell him,” Ata said. “Holding onto that for too long could damage your friendship.”
Kinshirou nodded in agreement.
“I am going to tell him eventually! Once we get to Izumondar, I’ll tell him so we can get everything sorted out.”
“But do you want to break the bond between you that was created from ringing that bell?” Uruu asked. “Or do you want to maintain it?”
Hatchi fidgeted. “I don’t know! I’ve never known anyone like Robby before. He’s helped me take my life off the rails, and everything’s been more interesting and unpredictable when I’m with him!”
Uruu nodded. “Since the two of us have relationship troubles, I’m assuming that the two of you do, as well?”
Kinshirou scoffed. Ata tsked.
“That’s preposterous,” Kinshirou stated. “I have no intention to date anyone until I have finished university.”
“And I as well,” Ata agreed, though with a light blush.
“Hm.” Uruu placed his cup on the table. “I simply noticed a few similarities between Hoterase and how Hatchi described Robby, so it seemed a bit too much for a mere coincidence.”
“What similarities?” Hatchi asked.
“Hoterase breaks school rules, and we used to butt heads. You said you were trying to collect Robby’s debt—which to me seems like he’s also a bit of a delinquent? Hoterase and Robby turned our lives upside-down, and we’ve fallen for them.”
“I haven’t fallen for Robby!” Hatchi blushed, getting lost in thought. “Wait, have I?”
“Ah, the denial and confusion,” Uruu said. “A maelstrom of feelings.” He looked over at Kinshirou and Ata. “Isn’t there anyone who drives you up the wall? Perhaps there is a seed for romance buried in those feelings you have towards that person, and you’re here because you need to find out how to nurture it so it can bloom into something else.”
Ata’s blush increased before he covered his mouth with one hand and turned away from the group. “Shuzenji Kyoutarou,” he muttered.
Kinshirou tilted his head. “What?”
“He was one of my childhood friends. I would always work hard, but Kyoutarou would put in no effort and be better at me at everything. Again and again and again, always and always and always! One day, he left me in the changing room at the bathhouse—I hadn’t been to one before and didn’t know if there were any rules I needed to know about. I left, and was upset that he didn’t realize I was gone. For years, I felt nothing but animosity towards him. I wanted to humiliate him—at one point, I had the idea to sign him up for the swimming competition’s loincloth relay, but that plan ended up getting sabotaged. Now we’re friends again, but there’s a strange feeling that remains left over from when I held that grudge.”
“There is something appealing about loincloths,” Uruu mused to himself.
Everyone looked to Kinshirou, and he blanked.
“So do you have anyone like that?” Hatchi asked, eyes twinkling.
“I could have believed that two out of four was a coincidence,” Ata said, “but three out of four seems like it could be the true reason. Especially if it turns out to be four out of four.”
“Yufuin En.” Kinshirou scowled. “But he is merely an annoyance, nothing more. We weren’t childhood friends—in fact, for the longest time I blamed him for taking away my best friend. In school, he gets top marks in exams, even though he doesn’t study and even naps during class. He wears his school uniform incorrectly, all disheveled, which is bad for the school’s reputation. While I no longer resent him the way I once did, I have no intention of ever pursuing a relationship with him.”
“Oh? But hasn’t there been any moment when you feel a spark?” Uruu asked. “Or you felt your heart skip a beat?”
“N-No!” Kinshirou’s face glowed red from just thinking about the time it did. “That has never happened!”
And it was then that the door to the waiting room clicked open, and a quiet chime rung out like a school bell.
“I suppose we have found why we’re all here,” Uruu said, grabbing his tea and standing up. “Perhaps we’ll meet again?”
Kinshirou leapt to his feet. “No! I refuse to believe we’re here to discuss relationship advice of all things! It’s far more likely that we’re here for some sort of leadership summit as Ibusuki first proposed.”
“I’m sorry, Kusatsu,” Ata said, lowering his head. “But now that I see all of these facts laid out, I truly believe we’re here to discuss relationships.”
“This is so exciting!” Hatchi exclaimed. “Next time I see the mysterious door, I’ll be sure to bring you all some exotic snacks from another planet, okay?”
“Thank you, Hatchi.” Uruu smiled before walking out the door. Hatchi followed. Ata stood and also followed suit, leaving Kinshirou standing in the middle of the room, alone. Waiting a moment to gather himself, he picked up his tea and left both the lounge and the waiting room, finding himself back in the council room, just as he left it.