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river oh river, flow gently for me by luthien_min_doriath
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
26 Aug 2021
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Summary
She was feeling an emotion that was not fear—Gideon’s pride would never recover if she admitted to being scared of a baby, and especially her own infant self. There was nothing the baby could do to her except give her the heebie-jeebies with her tiny fingernails, and surely Gideon couldn’t accidentally do anything too bad to the baby: precedent suggested that Little Gideons survive to adulthood, no matter the odds, and this Little Gideon had already survived much worse than being held. Maybe it was disbelief gnawing at her; it felt wrong that her infancy still existed in some place and time, like maybe she thought that her death had unraveled her whole life, all the way back to the baby called Bomb.
The air held a chill that made her teeth hurt. “That,” she said, shifting Little Gideon sickly to her other shoulder, “was a shitty thing to call a kid.”
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this is my new favourite fic writer and i am so emotional
the implication that young gideons fixation with her mum and that there must be someone out there who loves her and wants her being propelled by a buried memory
because, to a baby, being held by your older self just feels an awful lot like being held by your mum
/ugh/
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Cathartic. Like basically anything else involving baby Gideon, will punch your heart in the dick
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my heart fuxking broke, im crying so hard