Chapter Text
Somewhere in downtown Seattle, October 28th, 2016…
What the fuck just happened? What the hell is going on? Sean Diaz can’t focus, his mind is running wild. One minute, he was defending his little brother from their asshole of a neighbor, because Sean wanted to make up with Daniel. That, and Brett Foster really is an asshole. The next minute, he’s on the ground, a cop pointing a gun at him, and… dad came running. Shit. He shot him. Dad’s dead. Gone. Forever.
Sean can remember his brother screaming, but then, it all goes dark. Until he wakes up. Wakes up, to a neighborhood completely destroyed, a dead cop, the corpse of Brett Foster, and he still doesn’t know what happened. At first, he was in shock. Then, he remembered dad. He saw him, lying on the ground, with a gunshot wound to the heart. Dead. He will never forget that moment. It’s only been a couple of hours since it happened, but he knows he will never be able to erase it from his mind.
At that moment, he saw something blue in the corner of his eye. Daniel. That’s when he knew, that they had to get as fucking far away from here as possible. So he took his younger brother in his arms, and he ran away. Sean didn’t care to keep track of what time it was, or where he was going. He didn’t know. He knew they had to get out of Seattle. Then what? Live in the woods? What the fuck was he doing?
It’s a good thing Daniel was still unconscious. He didn’t have to witness his brother being the complete mess he is right now. It wasn’t until the sun began to set that Sean began to realize that he needs to stop. He’s been running, non-stop for hours, carrying his brother in his arms. Everything in his body hurts. His legs, his arms, his back, his feet… and… his heart. He really has to stop.
Sean’s looking towards a motel at first. Then, he realizes how stupid of an idea that is. He really needs to start using his brain. He needs to find somewhere safe.
“Daniel’s going to wake up soon. He’s… he’s gonna be… needing a quiet place for when he remembers… about dad.” Sean thinks to himself, crying. Again. Daniel being sad, was bad, but Sean had learned over the years how to handle it. And how to not. Same thing if his brother was angry. However, if Daniel was completely heartbroken, things were on an entirely different level. Sean still remembered the first, and only time, he told Daniel about their mother. Karen. The traitor.
Sean had told him, that she left when Daniel was just a baby, which is true. However, the then five-year-old Daniel Diaz didn’t know about that part. He blamed himself. Daniel had cried, and screamed, throwing shit at both Sean and their father. He even said, more than one time, that he wished that they both were dead. Fuck… this is going to break him.
Eventually, Sean finds a place. It’s right under a bridge. Not even the slightest bit comfortable, but it seems safe, quiet. He gently sets his brother down on the ground, only to immediately collapse right next to him. Shit, he really needed a rest. Daniel’s still unconscious. He begins to wonder if anything happened to him. Did he hit his head? No, doesn’t seem like it. Maybe… he’s just… tired? Sean’s not sure about that, but now, he’s pulled back to the real world, his now, very real world, by a sound. Repeating itself. Over and over again. No, not a sound. A voice. Two voices, to be exact.
“Hey Sean, you got a text! Yeah, bro! You got a text! Read it, come on!” God… Lyla and Daniel have messed with his ringtones again. Why today, of all fucking days? He knows it’s a terrible idea to pick up his phone, but hearing Lyla’s voice, again and again, that’s even worse. He picks up his phone, scrolling through dozens of missed calls, and over a hundred text messages, some of them, from people he hasn’t spoken to in years. In all of his despair, he randomly chooses a text with an unknown number.
“Hello, Mr. Diaz. This is Officer-” SHIT! He quickly moves on to the next message. This one is not from an unknown number, but it’s not a number he recognizes either.
“Hello, Sean. I am so sorry about your father. He was a good man, deserved better. Please, take care of Danny. Look after your brother, Sean. He’s going to need you. Be safe. Love you. //K. R.” What the hell? Sean doesn’t know someone called “K. R.” Someone who speaks that way about his father, telling Sean that… whoever it was, loved him? Look after Danny? He’s not sure why, but it feels familiar, for reasons he can’t understand. Danny… no one calls him that, he hates it. Then, why does Sean get this warm feeling inside him, almost… nostalgic? He decides to drop it, and moves on to the next message, only to instantly wish that he hadn’t.
“Your dad had it coming, and your little bro? He’s next…” What the fuck?! Who- why? Not even Brett would write shit like that.
“Go back to Mexico, murderer!” What the fuck is wrong with these people? He wants to stop reading, but can’t. The next message is from Jenn Murphy, saying she can’t be involved in “this”. Whatever the fuck “this” is, Sean still doesn’t know. At least he knows where her loyalties lie. He feels so alone. So very, very alone. He’s got no one. Absolutely no one.
“Uhhh… S- Sean? Is- is that you?” Shit. He had temporarily forgotten about his brother. He quickly puts his phone away, preparing himself for the storm about to come.
“Uhh… my head hurts, Sean. Where- where are we?” Hmm, Daniel still seems a bit out of it. Maybe he did hit his head after all. Sean tries to go forward, but with ease, and great care.
“We’re still in Seattle, Enano. Are you… ok?” Daniel sits up, looking around, taking in the surrounding area. This is it, any second now.
“Why are we under a bridge, Sean?” Ok, not the first question he would have expected. But it might take a while before he…
“Yeah… we’re just…” What the fuck is he going to say? There’s not even a credible lie.
“Sean? Are we camping?” Sean hates himself now. His nine-year-old brother asked a question, only a kid could ask, and Sean was going to take advantage of it. And he hates himself for doing so.
“Uh… yeah. Yeah, we are, Daniel. Our da- we’re going to learn how to survive on our own, for a couple of days.” He couldn’t even say the word “dad” anymore. It was too painful.
“Oh… but aren’t you supposed to camp like, in the forest?” Well, the kid’s got him there.
“Well, where do you think we're going, Enano?” Sean tries his best to smile. He failed miserably. Lucky for him, Daniel was still a bit groggy.
“Uh, I don’t know. Come on, Sean. You know I hate it when you make me guess.” Sean did know that. But right now, he was struggling, so hard, trying to keep a straight face in front of his brother. If Daniel saw him have a complete breakdown, the kid would feel helpless. That’s not an option for…
“We’re going, out into the forest, to live on our own, ok?” He tried to have a more cheerful tone in his voice. Maybe if he could fool Daniel, he could somehow… fool himself? Did that make sense? Whatever. Nothing made sense right now anyway.
“Oh, ok.” Good. The kid’s bought it. Good.
“Hey, Sean? Where’s dad? Why isn’t he with us?” FUCK!
“Daniel… I- I have to tell you-”
“He had to work again, didn’t he?” Daniel says, sounding sad, disappointed, and hurt. Meanwhile, Sean’s left confused. Confused and… relieved. Does it make him a bad person, the fact that he feels relief, knowing his brother is completely unaware of the situation? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, he takes the bait.
“Y- yeah, Daniel. He- he had… too much work. He wanted to come with us. Sorry, Enano.” Daniel felt like his father never had time for him anymore, he always worked. Always. It made him sad, alone.
“Are- are we gonna meet up with him later, Sean?” Daniel asks, trying, and failing to hold back his tears. Sean puts an arm around him.
“Of course, we are, Daniel.” He just couldn’t lie his crying brother to his face, but he couldn’t tell him the truth either. He doesn’t remember. Daniel does not remember. How is that possible? Why?
“Sean? Why can’t I remember us coming out here?” God, so many lies. They just keep growing.
“I think… you fell and… hit your head a little, Enano. You… passed out. Don’t worry, you’re fine. You just need to rest.” Great. Now Daniel probably thinks he’s got a concussion or something.
“Ok, Sean. Thanks for… you know, being here, and for telling me the truth for once.” For fuck’s sake! Did Daniel decide to be the most adorable little brother now when Sean’s the exact opposite of what Daniel just told him? Motherfucker!
“I- uh- thanks, Enano. No- no problem.” He feels like shit.
“I’m tired, Sean. How are we going to sleep?” That was a very good question. Sean just grabbed his backpack and ran. He barely knew what was inside.
“We’re sleeping here tonight, bro.” Keep a good, happy face, maybe things will work out. Maybe.
“Here…? I don’t know…” His brother looked skeptical, it’s not like Sean could blame him. What kid wants to sleep on concrete?
“Yeah, just… trust me, man. I packed everything we need.” Did he? Really? Sean opens his backpack. The blanket was a good choice for the party list (thanks Lyla), unfortunately, he didn’t have any actual food. Just a shitload of cookies. And a couple of soda cans. Eating healthy is probably going to be the least of Daniel’s worries shortly. So he gives his brother a soda and a bag full of cookies.
“Yooo, cookies! Thanks, Sean!” While his brother was eating, Sean tried to make things as comfortable as possible for both of them. Ultimately, he gave up. The blanket’s too small to cover both of them. It was, on the other hand, perfect for Sean. He could lie on top of it, protected from the cold and hard concrete, while his hoodie would keep him warm. It was really tempting. It could, however, perfectly wrap Daniel up, meaning his small brother wouldn’t have to sleep on concrete or freeze to death.
Sean felt like he now had two options. He knew one of them would suffer from his choice, no matter what. Sean also had this feeling, deep inside him, that the choices he makes in the coming days, will have a massive impact on both his and Daniel’s life, along with their relationship. It was starting to get really god-damn cold, Sean wanted that blanket so badly, but… Daniel? He doesn’t have a hoodie. The kid’s just wearing a thin t-shirt, with another shirt on top of it. Plus, it’s all sticky with his corn syrup fake blood. Sean sighs, admitting defeat, knowing he’s about to make the right choice.
“Here, Enano. I… kinda messed up… packing all the stuff. I’m sorry.” He’s sorry about a lot of things right now.
“You suck, Sean. How could you forget to pack sleeping bags? Are you… becoming senile, bro?” Daniel complains, only to then turn it around into a joke. Seeing his brother happy, and joking with him, makes Sean forget about everything. At least for a while. For a couple of minutes, they were just two normal brothers, teasing each other. Daniel eventually began yawning. At this point, Sean lifted him and wrapped him inside the blanket. He looked like he found it to be nice and… cozy. Warm.
For Sean, things were different. He legitimately believed he would freeze to death before sunrise. It was so cold. So very cold. He can’t do this, he just can’t.
“S- S- Sean? Are you awake?” Shit. He thought Daniel was asleep long ago. Sean quickly wipes his face from tears and turns to his brother.
“Yeah, Daniel. Is everything good? Doing ok, buddy?”
“I’m freezing, Sean. It’s so c- c- cold.” Sean, once again, realizes he stands at a crossroads. Should he comfort his little brother, while both of them freeze? Or, should he help his little brother, while Sean himself, really fucking freezes? This decision was much easier than the last one. However, it was a lot more painful.
“It’s ok, Enano. You’re gonna be fine. Here, take this. It’ll keep you warm, alright?” Sean takes off his hoodie, giving it to Daniel, the latter immediately putting it on. Daniel’s like, half his size, it looks like a tent on him. But he already looks warmer.
“Thanks, Sean. I’m- I’m glad you’re here… doing stuff with me. I missed that. I missed that a lot Sean…” Daniel’s so exhausted, that he falls asleep in the middle of a sentence. Sean’s wondering what he meant by that. What he meant by saying that he missed doing stuff with him. Over the next few hours, Sean slowly comes to realize, that he wasn’t always a great brother. Actually, sometimes he was a real asshole to Daniel.
All Daniel could sometimes want, was a pat on the back, along with Sean saying “That’s awesome, Enano!” But Sean couldn’t even give him that, at times. He’s thrown his brother out of his room, physically, more times than he can count, but for what purpose? To prove a point? And yet, the kid still looks up to him. He feels like the worst brother in the entire world. But that’s going to change. He’s going to take care of Daniel, nothing bad will ever happen to him. Ever. Sean swears it. He swears it on his father’s name. Sean Diaz swears it, as he cries himself to sleep, under a bridge, freezing, feeling more alone than ever before.