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“What would you do without me?”
The words rang through his ears on repeat for about twelve hours after she’d uttered them.
The question was simple, at least, to anyone else it would seem that way.
But to him it was loaded.
Because it came from almost twenty years of friendship.
From almost two decades of having each other’s backs, both in the field and out of it.
It came from hours spent side by side trying to solve cases.
Weekends spent in the lab in each other’s company instead of having any kind of social life.
In late night phone calls and early morning breakfasts at his kitchen counter.
There were almost forty birthdays between the two of them, and that wasn’t including the twelve that they had celebrated together for Lindsey.
Nineteen Christmases and Thanksgivings.
More tragedies than either of them could count on all four hands between them.
“What would you do without me?”
“Not exist.” It wasn’t exactly how he had anticipated responding when she opened her front door to him that evening.
And judging by her wide eyes and pursed lips, neither was she.
“Excuse me?” He chuckled softly before pushing himself past her and into her living room, toeing his shoes off like he always did, watching as she shut the door and moved to stand before him. “What are you doing here Gil?”
“You asked me yesterday what I would do without you.” She raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. “So I’m giving you your answer.”
“My answer?” Her confusion was making him lose his train of thought and he moved toward her, watching as she held out a hand.
But he wasn’t deterred, because he knew she meant nothing by it.
“I wouldn’t be able to do my job, or, to maintain the little bit of sanity that I have left.” Yeah, he could admit it, he was probably slowly losing his mind here lately. “You keep me in check. You keep me… balanced.”
“Balanced?” Yes, balanced, and that was exactly the right word for it too.
“We both know my case reports would never get done. And neither would anyone’s evaluations.” She nodded in agreement, because she knew, she had to know. “I would probably forget to eat, and we both know damn good and well I’d never sleep if you didn’t talk me into it.”
“That’s because you’re too stubborn for your own good.” He smiled as he took another step forward, watching as she dropped her hand down to her side, allowing him to enter her space.
“How long have we known each other, Catherine?” He watched as she screwed her face up in confusion, her eyes softening as it started to click.
“Twenty years.” She whispered, her fingers grazing over his as he took another step closer to her.
“Exactly, twenty years, that’s a long time in this city.” They both knew they were beating all the odds, no one stayed in Vegas for that long unless they were rich or homeless. “And I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that over the course of those twenty years you have come to know me better than anyone else. Wouldn’t you say?”
“I guess.” She was whispering now, her body seeming so small when he was so close to her, making her seem like a fragile woman.
But he knew better.
Fragile was the last word he would ever use to describe Catherine Willows.
“I would be nothing without you.” He whispered, his hands finally moving forward to grip at her hips softly, tugging her against him as she let out a soft sigh. “I hope you realize that.”
She nodded her head in agreement, but no words came out when she opened her mouth and he simply smiled.
It wasn’t often that she was left speechless.
So he took advantage of it and leaned down, pressing his lips against hers softly, his hands tightening their grip on her waist when she let out a soft whimper.
That was something new and it was most definitely a sound that he was never going to forget.
Nor was he going to forget the feeling of her lips against hers, the way her hands were pressed against his chest, the way her body leaned into his as he deepened the kiss.
There had always been this thing just below the surface with them, something that was always lurking there but that they never explored.
It had a depth that could reach forever though, full of twenty years of hiding it and pushing it down, attempting to keep it at bay.
Because he had been new and she had been married.
And then came Lindsey and he went back home to California.
Only to return and find her sitting in his office waiting to be interviewed for a job.
They had spent two decades dancing around this, letting their emotions fester and their feelings weigh them down.
He had never been too concerned about himself, because, let’s face it, the ladies weren’t exactly chasing him down.
But Catherine, well Catherine was the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and she was smart and strong and brave and she could have any man that she wanted.
He worried that whatever it was that she felt under the surface for him, would hold her back from pursuing anything else.
He was glad to be wrong for once.
“Gil…” She let out a breathy moan against his lips, breaking him from his thoughts, and he gently pulled back, one hand moving to cup her cheek against his palm.
She leaned into his touch and he couldn’t help but run his thumb over her lips and Jesus Christ he wasn’t exactly the most tactile person and he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but there was something about having Catherine Willows standing in front of him with her eyes closed and her lips freshly kissed that was making every neuron in his brain fire at full speed.
“I couldn’t do any of this without you.” He whispered, his forehead falling to hers as she let out a contented sigh. “And I don’t ever want to have to try to either.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He wasn’t sure when she had moved her arms around his neck, but the feeling of her fingers dragging slowly through his hair sent a shiver down his spine.
“Good.” He leaned forward then, pressing a kiss against her lips once more, smiling softly as she tugged him closer, threading her hands through his hair as she let out a soft moan.
When she pulled back a minute later he was admittedly out of breath, and he smirked down at her when she rolled her eyes as he leaned in for more.
“Gil…” But she held up a hand and pressed it against his chest, just above his heart, holding him in place from getting any closer.
“Yes Catherine?” She had to be able to feel how his heart was racing, hell, he was fairly certain it was about to beat out of his damn chest at any minute now.
“Take me to bed.” He never imagined he would ever hear those words leave her mouth in reference to him, but they were the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.
“Yes ma’am.” Leaning back down he kissed her once more, pouring twenty years of love and hurt and healing and passion and want and need into the simple gesture.
He was almost certain that she hadn’t intended for her question to land them here tonight, but he hoped that she didn’t regret it.
Because he honestly didn’t know what he would do without her.
And he’d be damned if he ever had to find out.