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Roy could recognise those clenched hands anywhere, the way Ted seemed to block out the rest of the world, the way he turned inward as if the rest of it was too much, as if the outside world had turned against him and his interior was trying to fight back and Ted was stuck somewhere between in purgatory, trying to scramble to hold on to something.
When he ran off the field, Roy looked at Nate, who was already barking orders at the players, 'You've got this?'
'Yes.' More definitive than Roy had ever heard him speak before. And then Roy was off, as fast as his bung knee could carry him, trying to ignore the sounds of the crowd like he'd managed his whole career, no use in listening to them now.
Rebecca and Keeley sat in the stands, Rebecca's eyes trained on Ted as he hobbled and ran off-field, immediately knowing something was wrong. 'Keeley-' she said, already standing to leave.
'I'll bring the car around- Roy's gone after him too, now.' Rebecca was already a few steps away, 'Rebecca? He'll be okay.' and she nodded. Not that this happened often, but every time it happened Rebecca became single-minded, her attention only going so far as - Ted. I have to get to Ted.
She walked through all the offices, all the corridors, every time expecting to turn a corner and see Ted's grin as if he'd tell her nothing was wrong, he just needed the loo, since he'd so excitedly told her he'd learned that word earlier in the day. It felt like a century ago.
Instead, she found Ted and Roy sitting on the couch in Sharon's office, Sharon herself standing in front of them, Roy's arm around Ted's shoulders and looking like he was the only thing keeping him upright.
'Ted,' she said, walking into the room and settling on the opposite side of him.
'You look like you're in good hands tonight, Coach Lasso.' Sharon said, 'I'll see you all on Monday. And Ted?' He looked up at her with bleary eyes. 'Congrats on the win tonight.'
Ted wasn't sure whether she was talking about the game or him finally asking for an appointment with her. Maybe both.
Rebecca's hand was in his, her fingers slipping between his and it forced him to stop clenching his hand, the ache started to dissipate.
'Keeley's waiting with the car.' Rebecca said softly, after a few moments. 'There's no rush.'
'Except if we take much longer she'll-'
'There you are,' she walked into the room, quietening down as soon as she saw Ted, saw the way Roy protectively had his arm around him, like he could hide the fact that the outside world existed. Saw the way Rebecca's hand was in his, like he was clinging onto her like she was reality and he was slipping.
She hated the way Ted turned inward again, like he was terrified that so many people had seen him like this. 'Hey, it's just me, Ted,' and she kneeled in front of him, her hands on his knees. 'There's no rush, we can wait 'til everyone's cleared out.'
He nodded, finally meeting her eyes. 'Thank you.' And she did her best to ignore the redness in them, how tired he looked, like he'd just been wrung out to dry.
But eventually, when Keeley's knees had started to ache, she did a trip downstairs to make sure the way was clear, messaging a thumbs up to Rebecca who brought Ted down. He was still slow-moving, wincing at bright lights and sounds, shaking out his hands before jamming them into his pockets, but then he was in the back of Rebecca's car, Roy holding his bag and passing it to him, which he immediately clung to.
'Ted,' Rebecca said quietly, 'How would you feel about coming round to mine, tonight. I don't feel right leaving you alone.' He looked up at her in surprise, eyes wide.
'No, no, boss, I'd appreciate a lift back to my-'
'You're going with her.' Roy said from behind Rebecca. 'Keeley and I will pick up some things and meet you there. Do you need anything from your flat?'
Ted's eyebrows were furrowed, slightly confused about what was happening so quickly around him, but he replied without thinking, 'clothes.' Because he'd sweat through all the ones he had on.
Roy nodded brusquely and walked over to the other car, Keeley following close behind, but she turned and said, 'We'll see you soon, yeah?' before getting into the other car.
Ted and Rebecca were left alone, in the back of her car, Ted still clutching onto the bag like he could hide behind it.
'You don't all have to-'
'I know.'
There were a few more minutes before anyone said anything else. 'Sharon said we won?' and he was coming back to being Ted again, tired, shell shocked, but Ted.
'Yeah, you did.' Rebecca smiled. 'Oh fuck,' she said, 'I think my Mum might be at home.'
And Ted started laughing, maybe slightly manically, until they pulled up at her house and she opened the door yelling out 'Mum' like she was sixteen again and making sure no one was home before she brought the boy she liked in behind her.
Ted followed her in, poking around the place, which looked decidedly less home-y than he'd anticipated. He found her in the kitchen.
'You hungry? She left a shephard's pie. Dad bought her a Tesla.' She said, by way of explanation.
'Environmentally conscious.' Ted said, sitting at one of the stools, his coat still on because he was still shivery.
Rebecca poured him a glass of water before setting out three mugs and brewing tea for them all, and they sat in the relative silence for a few moments before Rebecca walked around the counter, 'Ted, can I just,' and she pulled him into her arms, her head resting in the crook of his neck as he wrapped himself around her.
'Thank you for coming to find me,' he said brokenly, as if there was more to that sentence. As if he'd assumed no one would have looked for him.
'I was so scared,' she admitted in the sanctity of his arms.
'I'm here now.'
It wasn't long before Roy and Keeley knocked on the door, walking in with a bag of clothes for Ted and what looked like a similar bag for themselves.
'It's late, can we take the guest room, after? I swear to god last time I slept there the mattress like, replaced my spine,' Keeley said emphatically, not even really asking, as she immediately went to Ted and hugged him. 'You had me proper scared tonight, Ted.' She pulled back slightly, just enough to kiss his forehead, hugging him again just to make sure he was real, he was in her arms, before she let him go.
'You 'right?' Roy asked, looking almost too nervous to come closer.
'What, you don't wanna join in on the hugs?' Ted started to tease, but sometimes, just sometimes, Roy surprised him. And this was one of those times, because suddenly he was in Roy's arms, and it was more than he thought it was going to be. It wasn't the quick manly back slap hug he thought Roy would give, instead it was Roy's arms tightly wrapped around him, under his jacket, pulling him close and his chin resting on Ted's shoulder as they simply breathed together, as if Roy was checking that he was still breathing properly at all. 'I'm okay, Roy,' Ted promised quietly, watching as Rebecca busied herself with preparing tea, as Keeley came to stand beside her, fitting an arm around her waist easily.
Something about that sight, about Roy in his arms, made something that had been bound tightly in Ted's chest settle and relax.
Roy slowly extricated himself from the hug, looking at Ted's face as if he was trying to find something there. Apparently he was satisfied with whatever he saw because he turned around and took a mug of tea from Keeley, pressed a kiss to the top of her head like he'd had one prepared with nowhere to go.
'Do you mind if I take a shower, while y'all enjoy your pigeon swill?' Ted asked, motioning to the clothes that Roy and Keeley had brought, suddenly blushing about the idea of either of them in his underwear drawer, even in his room, when he wasn't there.
'Of course, top of the stairs, first door on your left.'
'Try out her fancy shampoo while you're there,' Keeley called after him, 'It's fucking expensive and your hair will be soft as a baby's arse for weeks.'
There was something cleansing about a shower, a shower after a panic attack in particular, and Ted was grateful for the moment of privacy, the moment where he could recollect himself, try and start putting together the puzzle of Ted after Roy, Rebecca and Keeley had handed him the pieces that had been missing.
He would've told anyone who said this to him to file it under stinkin' thinkin', but he honestly didn't expect anyone to follow him. Let alone three people. The hot water was stinging as he scrubbed almost too hard, as if trying to get out of his own skin, find a new Ted somewhere beneath his cracked exterior.
'Ted?' he heard a knock on the door. 'Are you okay?' and it was only then that he realised how long he'd been in there.
'I'll be right out.' and there was that cavity in his chest again, the realisation that he couldn't trust himself to do anything on his own anymore, let alone coach a football team. Although he supposed that didn't matter, as he pulled on the sweats and the old t-shirt Roy and Keeley had brought him, because Roy, Beard and Nate were doing just fine without him, he could slip away in the FA Cup and they'd still win the thing without him. Roy had been the coach they'd needed all along, anyway.
He found Keeley waiting for him on the other side of the door, sitting cross-legged on Rebecca's bed. 'Just came to see if you're alright, really.'
Ted didn't quite have the energy to pretend, anymore.
'Not right now, but I will be,' he promised, with a quirk of his lips that he hoped looked like a smile. 'Havin' all you here helps, I don't like to think about what tonight would've looked like if I'd just gone home.'
'Good thing you don't have to, then.' She kissed him lightly on the cheek. 'Come on then, I think Rebecca was going to set up a movie and she's got the most comfortable couch I've ever graced with my arse. You'll be asleep in seconds.' Her hand was in his, leading him down the stairs, back towards everyone. There was time to think about the rest of it tomorrow.
Keeley wasn't wrong, about the couch or about Ted falling asleep. They were watching some cartoon movie that didn't quite seem to have any conflict, that Ted was awake to see anyway, just a few kids running after some floating black specks, he's sure the subtitles would've helped but his head had fallen onto Roy's shoulder almost as soon as he'd sat down.
'Sorry,' Ted had tried to pull away.
'S'okay, stay,' Roy's hand had come up around Ted's shoulders, holding him there. Rebecca leaned back on the armrest, her impossibly long legs over both Ted and Roy's lap, and even in his half asleep state, Ted's hand came to rest on her knee, his thumb rubbing small circles over the soft skin. Keeley was curled up against Roy's side, eyes glued to the screen. 'Oh this is my favourite part-' she said every five minutes.
But eventually, everyone was half asleep, not quite to Ted's level of bone dead tiredness, but it was a close call.
'Here, I'll get him to bed.' Roy offered. 'Yours?' Rebecca nodded.
'Alright, come on Ned Flanders, let's get you to bed.' Ted grumbled unintelligibly in response, and just shifted in his seat. 'Do you really want me to tell you to go to bed like I tell Phoebe?' He asked, when Ted wasn't responding, he's not sure if Ted wrinkling his nose was a yes or a no, so he broke out the voice anyway. 'Alright you little prick, time for bed.' Ted startled awake, looking at him blearily, confused. 'I did ask,' Roy tried to justify.
He hated how cute Ted looked, blinking into the light, but he helped him get to his feet. 'Come on, you've gotta make it up all those fuckin' stairs, nothing like some light cardio before bed,' his tone was softer than the words would imply, his arm wrapped around Ted's waist, not that Ted really needed the help.
Ted unceremoniously flopped onto the bed when he finally arrived, watching curiously as Roy sat on the edge and just looked at him. Roy seemed to make up his mind about something and leaned forward, hand reached out to brush the hair out of Ted's face, tucking it back into place.
There was a seconds pause where Ted floundered for something to say, 'Keeley was right, that shampoo worked wonders.'
'You'll tell us, what's bothering you?'
Ted nodded shakily, 'When I can.' Not tonight.
'I'm sorry I left. Thank you for bringing me back.'
Rebecca walked into the room, followed by Keeley on her heels, who immediately flopped on the edge of the bed. 'Fuck, Rebecca. The mattress in your spare's got nothing on this.'
Ted couldn't help but smile at the easy way Keeley made everything feel comfortable, every situation, every mattress, apparently.
Rebecca sighed, although Ted wondered if it was just for show. 'Go on then, stay if you like. The bed's bloody big enough.'
The truth was, none of them particularly wanted to leave Ted out of their sight, so it barely took Roy any convincing before he was laying between Ted and Keeley, with Rebecca on the other side of Ted, giving Keeley a quick kiss goodnight before settling on his back.
'Where's my kiss goodnight?' Ted joked into the safety of the darkness.
'Oh God,' he heard Rebecca mutter quietly, as if she knew what was coming. And she wasn't wrong, because Keeley's head perked up immediately.
'Come on then,' she said, leaning over Roy and waiting until Ted picked his head up slightly, mostly in surprise, partly because he wanted to, and he pressed his lips to hers. 'Goodnight, Ted,' and she settled back down.
But as he settled back into place he was met with Roy looking at him, with an expression he couldn't quite place, in the low light with barely any space between them and then they were both leaning forward and Ted's excuse was that he was exhausted but his lips pressed against Roy's and it felt so natural that he mumbled, 'goodnight,' against his lips before leaning back.
And then there was Rebecca, whose hand was settled on his chest, who was somehow even more beautiful now than she usually was in her office, in all those incredible outfits that he struggled to take his eyes off of. But now, she had no makeup, no fancy outfit, just some pyjamas with suns on them, and she was radiant. He brought his hand up and stroked his thumb along her cheekbone, kissing her because it felt right, the four of them. Not having to choose, not having to worry. Just basking in all the love in this bed, that they'd looked for him, that they'd stuck around after, that they'd still be there when he woke up tomorrow. That was enough for now. The conversations could come later.