Chapter Text
052221 | Seoul
first entry.
diary,
I have opened my eyes to many kinds of love. Almost 8 years of switching from the single to couple life has made me realize a lot of things. This so-called chemical reaction incited from either one-sided or mutual love and respect has a wide range and variety. And, in this little dot on the map of South Korea, I have come to an understanding that love is different with every person you meet.
Sometimes, Love is sweet and pure. Just like Taehyung, my very first bestfriend. As kids we would gather around sticks and plastic wrapping to build kites. —I'd actually ruin mine so he'll fix it for me with a boxy smile on his face, an image that is forever stuck on my mind. Love is when we shared our dreams and aspirations in the future, when we both gave support and patted each other's backs.
"Hyung, I want to be an artist when I grow up. I'll paint you with a gazillion stars behind your back. And they will be embarrassed, because my Namjoon hyung is the brightest star of them all. The people will look at you in awe. They'll probably wonder; iif there's a star as bright as you, they'll always point at the sky and say 'I love this star'".
Oh, if only I knew that at 5th grade, he had liked me, too. That that conversation on the wide field at nine pm, with the moon looming above us and the sky's lit with millions of bright lanterns that stayed in place forever, was the only time he composed himself to speak about his young love for me.
I left our hometown in Daegu and moved to Ilsan after graduation. It took me miles away from him to realize his feelings, and well, mine too. Maybe, just maybe, it was for the better because we were just kids, diary! There are times where I still feel regret, for I am so dense. We stayed in contact, and right now we're still close friends. I'm so glad.
I'm glad to know that at some point, in many ways, we had managed to show affection even if we had not known that we liked each other at that point. I think that's what made our bond special. The simple acts one makes one feel special, cared for, and validated.
I finally acknowledged that Love— Love doesn't need to be known to be beautiful.
from Namjoon.