Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"When it's dark, quiet, cold and alone" 

Midoriya Izuku. Fourteen years old. Status:

Quirkless

"You may search for memories

That never existed"

Diagnosed as Quirkless for almost 9 years. Treated like a worthless reject for almost 9 years. Lost his best friend the day after he was diagnosed.

"Either for pleasure or for sorrow-" 

'Give up already shitty deku! A weakling like you will never be a hero-'

'I'm sorry darling! I'm so, so sorry-'

'Midoriya-san I'm sorry to tell you but you're son-'

He knows that he's useless. He knows that he can't be a hero. He knows damnit-

But alas. The heart wants what it wants. And Midoriya Izuku's heart had always longed to be a hero.

" -pretending to reach the stars that'll never come close"

The harsh reality of the world came crashing on his fragile shoulder just because of an extra toe joint. Suddenly, he was a burden too society. To them useless and quirkless meant the exact same thing.

In the end, he was just another suicide case waiting to happen. 

"Can you hear that?" 

Sometimes Izuku dreams of a happy place. Another reality. Another life in which Bakugou Katsuki was still his best friend. A life where he had been born with a powerful quirk. A life where he could be a hero. A life that'd finally allow him the normalcy and acceptance he craved.

A life where he could fall asleep at night and still want to wake up the next day.

"Your thoughts are growing restless"

He received his first flower when he was twelve years old.

A single spider lily had been left behind on his desk.

It happened on the second day of middle school, just the day after the teacher announced his Quirkless status to everyone. The news spread like wildfire on a hot summer's day. He became every students' latest gossip material.

Midoriya Izuku, the first year in Aldera Middle School. Midoriya Izuku, the quirkless freak.

"Whispering louder and louder"

Sometimes in the solitude of the night, after his mom had fallen asleep, Izuku prayed to God.

He had never been religious. There had been a time when he had held a small amount of faith in someone being out there, when he had been young and naive and had hopes of a bright future.

He had lost his faith, slowly, after facing the cruel reality of the world.

It had been his own fault for being stupid enough to believe that there was someone else out there who cared for him besides his mom.

Or maybe even the Gods didn't have time for him. He wouldn't be surprised either way.

"You stay awake, praying to Hypnos"

But there were nights when his thoughts were too loud. Nights when his own body felt foreign and unfamiliar. Nights when his room felt too suffocating and claustrophobic.

Those nights, when sleep was too hard to find, he clasped his hands and prayed to any God out there who would listen. He prayed until his pleas turned into insults and accusations. He prayed until sleep gently embraced him.

Not once did he trust the Gods to hear his pleas. But it felt good to pretend that someone cared enough to listen.

"Reaching out for a hand

That never existed"

Sometimes, he tried to ignore the reality that threatened to drown him in despair. It was much easier to be submissive and quiet. Fighting back and drawing attention to himself would only cause more problems for him and his mother. Telling a teacher would end in laughs of disbelief or detentions for "trying to get his classmates into trouble". 

" Persistent in your desires to be loved" 

But of course who was he kidding. The deed was done. Everyone knew about his "condition".

In a society where quirks were everything, where your worth was measured by the presence of your quirk or lack thereof, the quirkless were left behind to die.

It was the simple and irrevocable truth. 

Mother Nature didn't have time for weaklings.

So he could try as hard as he could, he could sacrifice his mind and body to be the perfect student his teachers wanted him to be. He could give away his blood, sweat and tears to be the idle person that society wanted him to be. But it would all be in vain.

They will never bother to give him a second chance. He had failed them before he even realized. 

He was alone in this God forsaken world.

"But the only here with you 

Is you"

                    " Then why do you lie to yourself

                     Trying to deny the truth"

He could learn how to fight. 

He could fight one day.

It felt like breathing air for the first time. He felt free and independent. This was the start to something much greater. He felt as if he was heading in the right direction. 

He wished he had known that even rights have wrongs hidden underneath sometimes.

"Sinners that perish in the depths of hell

Condemned for they were fools"

He was fourteen years old when he realized there wasn't anything in the world that he longed for more than being a hero.

But he couldn't be one. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't be a hero. There wasn't any hero school that accepted quirkless applicants. 

So no, he couldn't be a hero.

Legally that is.

The world wasn't just black and white. He wasn't blind to the crimes committed by some heroes, but they were rare and often covered up. 

He could never legally help people as a hero.

"What is false and what is true?" 

But he could be a vigilante. 

Midoriya Izuku could help people as a vigilante, and if that was the only option left for him then he would fight tooth and nail for it 

He could help people and no one could ever tell him otherwise.

"Tired eyes, blurry lines "

Katsuki could always see through him. No matter how much he tried to escape the blonde, sooner or later he would always end up being cornered by him.

Katsuki knew that he was stubborn. He knew that he had not once given up the dream of being a hero. Nothing could force him to stop dreaming.

He prepared himself for the explosions,the burns and the bruises but they never came. 

Katsuki told him to kill himself.

He wasn't a stranger to suicide baiting. His classmates had made sure to remind him that he was unwanted ever since the second day of middle school. Sometimes his desks would be covered with inky insults. Sometimes his lockers would be filled with razors and spider lilies.

But somehow it hurt much worse when Katsuki told him to dive off a roof. It felt like a sudden punch in the heart and he felt his cheeks dampen against his will.

He was left standing alone in the empty classroom with broken sobs and a broken heart.

He felt tired.

"The realm of Morpheus welcomes you " 

Being a vigilante wasn't going to be easy. But he had never been a stranger to hardship. 

"Your mind tiptoes in the edge of chaos" 

Midoriya Izuku was 14 years old when Pied Piper was born.

"Don't let the Gods mislead you"

He would never be useless again.

Chapter Text

When it's dark, quiet, cold and alone

You may search for memories

That never existed

Either for pleasure or for sorrow

Pretending to reach the stars that'll never come close

Can you hear that?

Your thoughts are growing restless

Whispering louder and louder

You stay awake, praying to hypnos

Reaching out for a hand

That never existed

Persistent in your desires to be loved

But the only one here with you 

Is you

Then why do you lie to yourself

Trying to deny the truth

Sinners that perish in the depths of hell

Condemned for they were fools

What is false and what is true?

Tired eyes, blurry lines

The realm of Morpheus welcomes you

Your mind tiptoes in the edge of chaos

Don't let the Gods mislead you