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“Tell me you’re joking.” Chan’s brows are pulled all the way together, face pinched with stress. “It’s a prank camera, right?” He looks around. “Ha ha, funny, now we need to go or we’re seriously going to be late.”
Changbin takes a deep breath before he starts a fight. “We know where they are. The staff are already working on rescheduling our flight. We should make it in time for the rehearsal tomorrow.”
Next to him, Hyunjin is staring hard at his shoes, shoulders hunched in on themselves.
Chan sighs. “Why were your passports even in the same bag?”
“Hyunjin always gives his to me,” Changbin explains. “This— it’s not a new thing. I take the blame on this one, okay? I left my bag behind at the filming location. But people are already on their way to go pick it up.”
The filming location, as they all remember, is a dreary four hour drive from this hotel, which is a two and a half hour flight from Incheon Airport. They’ll get the passports, but Changbin and Hyunjin won’t be able to leave until morning at the earliest while the others all fly to the dorm to sleep tonight before heading to rehearsals for the first stage of awards season. It’s been a long fucking day. No one is in a good mood. But at least there’s a solution here.
Chan visibly collects himself. He’s barefaced, freshened up and ready to leave. It’s a stark contrast against Hyunjin, who’d been halfway through washing up when Changbin had confirmed that both of their passports were still in that parking lot on the Shima Peninsula.
“Who’s staying with you?” he asks.
“Jihu-hyung, and I think a couple other staff members.”
Chan nods. “And you’re staying here?”
“Yeah. They’re booking my room for another night, Hyunjin will just stay with me.”
“Okay,” says Chan, blowing a long breath out. “Okay. Keep me updated on everything. I’ll check in.”
“Okay, hyung,” Changbin answers.
Chan softens for a moment. “Hyunjin-ah, you okay?”
Hyunjin looks up, and his eyes are rimmed red. “I’m fine. I’m really sorry, hyung.”
“Aigo,” Chan says, weak like he always is when his hyung instincts properly kick in, and he pulls Hyunjin into a quick hug. “It really could be worse. I got sharp because I’m frustrated with the situation, but I’m sure you both are too.” He looks at Changbin, almost a peace offering, almost an apology.
Changbin accepts it for whatever it is. “We’ll let you know how everything goes,” he promises.
Chan extracts a few more promises from them, and the goodbyes stretch on for another couple of minutes before he’s pulled away to leave with the rest of the group.
And then it’s just Hyunjin and Changbin in the hotel hallway, still numb from the surprise of their plans changing so abruptly. All at once, the quiet in the hallway is too oppressive, and Changbin pulls Hyunjin into the room they’ll be sharing. All of Jisung’s stuff is gone. Hyunjin’s is in the lobby where a staff member had brought it before they realized he wouldn’t be able to leave. Changbin’s, well. Changbin’s bag is the whole problem here.
Hyunjin collapses onto the bed with a quiet groan.
Changbin sits next to him and places a hand between his shoulder blades. Hyunjin melts into the touch immediately, and he shifts so his cheek is on the duvet, half of his face looking up at Changbin morosely. “This sucks,” he says.
“I’m really sorry, Hyunjin-ah.”
It doesn’t seem like Hyunjin is going to start crying again, but it’s always a wild card, especially when he’s feeling guilty. Hyunjin just sighs, though. “It was an accident.”
“Yeah, but my mistake shouldn’t have brought you down with me.”
Hyunjin shrugs, jagged. There’s a moment of silence before he asks, “Do you think we’ll miss our performance?”
“No,” Changbin says. “We’ll swim back to Korea if we have to, you can ride on my back.”
That pulls a snort from Hyunjin. Almost a smile. “Okay.”
“Great. Now that that’s settled, will you tell on me if I go get us some snacks from the vending machine down the hall?”
“M’not a snitch,” Hyunjin mumbles.
Changbin laughs, horribly fond. Even like this, splayed out like a starfish and half-asleep and mussed from almost crying, Hyunjin is beautiful. Changbin had been so sure he’d get used to it. After they debuted, he told himself, living with Hyunjin would make it all second nature. He’s seen Hyunjin bawl his eyes out, has seen him running on zero sleep missing his mouth with the straw of his americano. He’s seen Hyunjin grimy after practice, yelling during a petty fight— Changbin thought this feeling would go away, but it’s only gotten worse.
He tears his thoughts back to his plan to get snacks before he can spiral. “I’m going,” he says, gently tapping the back of Hyunjin’s thigh.
Hyunjin waves a hand at him and mumbles something unintelligible.
Changbin resists the urge to keep touching him and walks himself out of the room.
/
He ends up in the hallway for longer than expected. Jihu hadn’t cared about the snacks, thankfully, but he had stopped Changbin on his way back to his room to give some updates. The car retrieving his bag is an hour into their drive and two in the morning is still their ETA to arrive at the peninsula. Six-thirty is their ETA back here. Someone had gone to pick him up things to brush his teeth and some face wash in the meantime, which he’s handed in a plastic bag. Jihu asks how they’re doing, which is kinder than Changbin had been expecting.
“We’re fine,” he says. “Embarrassed, mostly. I need to get some gifts for the noonas that went to drive and get my bag.”
Jihu nods. “We’ll come knock when they’re back and give you your bag. Your flight leaves at nine, so we’re cutting it close.”
“I’ll leave my phone on.”
Jihu looks like he wants to say something else, to ask something, but he ends up staying quiet, just wishing Changbin a good night quietly before retiring to his own room.
Changbin stays in the hallway for another moment before turning back to the room he’s sharing with Hyunjin and swiping himself in, opening the door slowly in case Hyunjin had fallen asleep, which wouldn’t have surprised Changbin with the day they’ve had.
But Hyunjin is awake when Changbin walks in, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed with his hair pulled back in a dorky little ponytail. His face is lit up by the glow from his phone and his posture is horrendous. He looks up when Changbin shakes the chip bags in his hands and smiles, reaching out with grabby hands.
“Say please,” Changbin taunts.
Hyunjin rolls his eyes spectacularly but dutifully replies, “Please share your snacks, hyung.”
And when he’s so polite, how can Changbin deny him anything?
They split the snack haul, passing bags back and forth, feeding each other. It’s easier to pretend when the others aren’t around, Changbin knows. When there aren’t cameras tracking his every facial expression, when Chan and Jisung aren’t kicking his ankles under the table. On a night like this, even in shitty circumstances, Changbin looks at Hyunjin and loves him, and for almost thirty full minutes he doesn’t even feel guilty about it.
They’re laughing by the time they finish the shrimp chips, the rest of the bags littered across the nightstand, and Hyunjin flops back onto the bed. His hair has mostly escaped the ponytail, and it fans around his face in a dark wave. “I wish I was in my own bed, but this isn’t that bad,” he admits, eyes sparkling when he looks up at Changbin. “It was nice to just get to hang out with you.”
Changbin grins at him, heart fluttering in his chest. “All part of my evil plan,” he jokes. It’s easier to make light of it now that the panic of sorting out the situation has faded.
Hyunjin snorts an ungainly laugh. “Sure, hyung.”
“What, you don’t think I’m capable of evil?”
“Not what I said,” Hyunjin replies, dry, but he immediately tries to walk it back when Changbin starts crawling toward him on the bed. “Wait, wait, I don’t mean that you’re evil, hyung—”
His pleas morph into shrieking cackles when Changbin tackles him onto his back, trying to wrestle him into submission by grabbing at his hands, pinching his sides. Hyunjin is squirmy, gives as good as he’s got, but Changbin is stronger and has more leverage. They end up with Hyunjin flat on his back, Changbin peering down at him with his arms caging Hyunjin’s head, legs straddling Hyunjin’s tiny waist.
“Got you,” Changbin says, barely more than a murmur.
Hyunjin’s eyes are wide and blinking in the low light. Changbin is breathless taking him in. “Spare me,” Hyunjin says, laughter still in his voice though the mood has mellowed. “I’ll do anything you want, please, I have a family.”
“Anything?” Changbin can’t stop himself from asking.
Hyunjin giggles. His ears are pink. He looks like every awful embarrassing romantic dream Changbin’s ever had. “Almost anything,” he amends.
“Well that seems like a bad deal.”
“Nooo,” Hyunjin replies, bringing his hands up to encircle Changbin’s wrists where they’re right by Hyunjin’s face. He must be able to feel Changbin’s racing pulse, the way his arms keep threatening to tremble. “Hyung, be nice to me. I had a horrible day. One of my members lost my passport and I have to stay here overnight.”
Changbin hums sympathetically. “That wasn’t very responsible of him, was it?”
Hyunjin shakes his head, face the picture of innocence except for the sneaky little spark in his eyes. It’s the look he gets when he’s having fun. When he’s thrilled that someone is playing along and he doesn’t want it to end. “No, it wasn’t.”
Changbin wants to say something insane like At least I’m here to make it up to you. He wants to see what Hyunjin’s face would do if Changbin pinned him properly. If things were different, if the choice were easy, he’d be nipping at Hyunjin’s neck to find out what sounds he can make.
But the Changbin in this hotel room is flustered, overwhelmed. Is this real? Is it happening? Changbin has played at wrestling with every one of his members at some point or another, but it’s never been like this.
Hyunjin calms down a bit when Changbin doesn’t answer right away. His doe eyes are patient. His cheeks soften from where they’d been bunched in a smile. “Hyung?”
“Sorry,” Changbin says. He starts to sit up.
Hyunjin’s hands tighten around his wrists. “Why are you sorry?” he asks. It sounds like a challenge.
“What, do you want me to kiss you or something?” Changbin asks, confrontational, and feels his own ears immediately burn at his lack of filter.
He’s already trying to take it back when Hyunjin breathes, “Maybe.”
Changbin’s words die in his throat.
Hyunjin looks nervous but he looks sure of himself too, swallowing once before tipping his face up, a dare or a request or something else entirely.
Changbin doesn’t make him ask again.
He’s almost scared to breathe, some distant part of him terrified he’s dreaming and he’ll wake up. Hyunjin’s eyes flutter when Changbin moves one hand to cup his cheek, holding himself up by one arm and resting more weight on his knees, pinning Hyunjin more solidly to the bed. He keeps his touch gentle. Leans down carefully, giving Hyunjin every chance to change his mind.
But Hyunjin doesn’t. He leans up to meet Changbin, and their first kiss is as delicate as spun sugar.
Changbin pulls back, intending to check in, to say something, to consider how bad of a fucking idea this probably is for a multitide of reasons, but Hyunjin makes a needy little sound and Changbin’s brain shorts out. They’re kissing again before he can even catch up with the situation, slow and deep. Hyunjin is clutching at Changbin’s back with one hand, bunching up the fabric of his soft t-shirt. He’s so warm, so sweet. He’s a fucking dream.
They go on like that for a while, learning each other. Every time Changbin shifts, Hyunjin follows him, seeking. The next time he pulls back to breathe, Changbin changes course, pressing gentle kisses to Hyunjin’s cheeks, his nose, his eyelids when his eyes flutter shut under the attention. He drops a kiss on Hyunjin’s forehead, too. Feels his own heart squeeze. He shouldn’t be so obvious, he knows, but Changbin is so bad at being anything other than exactly what he is.
“We should sleep,” he murmurs against Hyunjin’s hairline.
He doesn’t have to look to know that Hyunjin is pouting when he responds, “Wanna make out more.”
“I know—” Changbin has to bite his own tongue before he calls Hyunjin baby— “but we’re performing tomorrow, and my alarm is set for five hours from now.”
Hyunjin goes to protest again, but he’s cut off by a huge, adorable yawn.
Changbin laughs fondly at him, tucking a piece of hair behind Hyunjin’s ear and tweaking his earlobe, gentle. “Are you good?” he asks, instead of what he wants to ask, which is Was I good?
“I’m good,” Hyunjin answers. His smile is soft. “Tired. I’ll be glad when we’re back in Korea.”
Changbin hums in agreement and doesn’t ask the rest of his questions. Nothing good would come of that.
Hyunjin isn’t the only member of the group that seeks out affection like this from the others, but he’s the most regular offender. They’ve all walked in on Felix and Hyunjin giggling and making out before, and Jisung is always thrilled to have someone to kiss. Even Chan will indulge Hyunjin sometimes, let Hyunjin settle on his lap and kiss him nice and slow when Hyunjin is needy and needs to be contained.
Changbin had never kissed Hyunjin before tonight. He’s never kissed any of them. He wonders if Hyunjin knows that. If he cares.
Under the lamplight like this, in the quiet hours of the middle of the night, Changbin can fall so easily into the fantasy that this is something else. Maybe Hyunjin is his boyfriend and they took a trip together during a university break. Maybe they’re husbands. Maybe it’s a honeymoon. It’s such a pretty thing to imagine. If Changbin could be Hyunjin’s person, the one to make him laugh like that, to make his lips get all puffy and well-kissed like that. If Changbin could be the first one Hyunjin turns to, the one he wakes up to every morning because they wanted that. Because they chose it.
Changbin climbs off of Hyunjin before his blush gets worse. He doesn’t know how he’s feeling right now. His heart is throbbing in his chest.
Hyunjin seems fine, if sleepy. Not like he’s questioning his entire existence. He doesn’t say anything when Changbin strips off his shirt to sleep, and he doesn’t go to the other bed. He just lies there, gaze in soft focus where it falls on Changbin.
“Can we cuddle?” Hyunjin asks when Changbin is settled next to him, the duvet pulled up over both of them.
Changbin laughs, low. “You know I can’t say no to you.” He tilts his voice into aegyo when that lands a little too heavily between them. “Ah, our cute Hyunjinnie. So cute!”
Hyunjin smacks him in the chest, arranging himself so he has an arm and a leg slung over Changbin, his face buried in Changbin’s shoulder. His breath puffs out against Changbin’s bare skin when he says, “Sweet dreams, hyung.”
“You too,” Changbin says, and he turns his head to drop a kiss on Hyunjin’s hair, smiling when Hyunjin hums happily and nuzzles closer.
Hyunjin falls asleep right away, breath steadying. He snuffles a little every once in a while. It’s devastatingly cute.
Changbin stays awake for a bit, staring at the ceiling. He feels okay, but it’s hard to trust that—he doesn’t think he knows how not to feel okay when he has Hyunjin resting against him like this. Tonight will catch up to him, he’s sure. Loving Hyunjin has never come consequence-free.
He thinks about texting Minho, the only person in the group who can even vaguely understand his predicament, but he doesn’t even know if Minho is off the plane yet, and it’s a tossup as to whether he gets sympathy or mocking anyway. Though it might be nice to get it off his chest, even if Minho doesn’t respond right away. Minho might be willing to run interference tomorrow if Changbin needs some space backstage, or create a distraction if Changbin starts thinking about things too hard. Ah, but it’s embarrassing, and his phone is so far away, and he doesn’t want to wake Hyunjin, who’s sleeping so peacefully, who needs all the sleep he can get, and it’s nice like this, drowsy, sweet—
Changbin is asleep before he can decide one way or another.
/
They wake up before the sun has finished rising. Hyunjin is half asleep but going through the motions of washing his face, brushing his teeth, picking out clothes. Changbin’s bag is half an hour away, and he steals some of Hyunjin’s moisturizer as they try to get presentable enough to run through an airport upon arriving in Incheon.
Whatever awkwardness Changbin had been worried about has no time to crystallize with how sleepy they both are. Jihu comes by to drop off some breakfast, and they eat it mechanically.
By six fifteen, they’re down in the lobby with Jihu, and the van with Changbin’s bag and both their passports is pulling up to the front to pick them up.
“Thank god,” Hyunjin says when it comes into view and they get a thumbs up from the driver. Changbin grabs Hyunjin’s bag for him, ignoring his ensuing whine, and they end up seated together in the backseat.
Changbin immediately rifles through his bag for the passports, sagging in relief when he finds them both perfectly intact.
They spend the first half hour of the drive profusely thanking and apologizing to the staff, who seem exhausted. They’d switched off driving, catching a bit of sleep, but still. The guilt comes back to sweep Changbin up full force. They’d been working so hard and driving through the night to fix his mistake while Changbin— while he and Hyunjin—
Changbin almost startles when he feels Hyunjin take his hand and start rubbing a thumb across Changbin’s knuckles. “I’m sleepy,” Hyunjin mumbles.
When he shifts, Changbin immediately accommodates him, and he has to admit that having a drowsy Hyunjin pressed up against his side, head on Changbin’s shoulder, helps him feel a little less stuck in his self-flagellating thoughts.
“Will we make the rehearsal?” he asks aloud.
Jihu turns back to look at them in the backseat and keeps his voice low when he answers, “As long as the flight isn’t delayed, yes. You should actually be able to ride with the other members there.”
Hyunjin mumbles something incoherent in response. Changbin deflates, the last bit of awful stress leaving him. “Good. Thank you.”
Jihu nods and turns back around.
Hyunjin has roused himself by the time they get to the airport, and he sits up, extricating himself from Changbin’s side. “Will you judge me if I sleep more on the plane?” he asks.
Changbin laughs. “Of course not, our Hyunjinnie needs his beauty sleep if he wants to compete with my visuals.”
“Right,” agrees Hyunjin readily. For his talk about sleeping, he seems awake and cheerful, even more so when he checks his phone to find that their flight is still on time.
They get out of the van when it rolls up to the curb, grabbing their bags and shivering against the bitter cold. As they’re getting sorted, Hyunjin comes up right in front of Changbin and asks, voice low, “Do you want to tell the others about last night? Like, about what happened?”
“Oh,” Changbin says, surprised. He glances around, but no one is paying them any attention. This early in the morning on a hastily scheduled flight, they could be anyone, and it would be a nice thought if he weren’t so otherwise preoccupied. “Whatever you want. I, um. I don’t really care.”
Something passes over Hyunjin’s face, too fast for Changbin to catch. “Okay. And we’re good?”
“Of course,” Changbin says, because it’s the only answer he’ll entertain.
“Okay,” Hyunjin says, and when he beams it’s a sunrise. “Let’s go catch our flight, then.”
They say their goodbyes to the staff that drove them here, wishing them well, and then they head into the airport together. Changbin keeps twitching to touch Hyunjin. Keeps holding himself back.
He doesn’t care, he said, and they both knew it was a lie. He’s a poor excuse for an actor. But if the knife is in his own chest, Changbin doesn’t have to twist it. He follows Hyunjin through the airport sedately, blinking against the bright fluorescent light.
At passport control, they ask briefly about his time in Japan, and Changbin answers rotely as he hands over the object that caused all of this in the first place. “And Korea is your last stop on this trip?” the woman asks. She doesn’t know who he is. She doesn’t mean the question as anything more than what it is.
Still, Changbin’s gaze darts to the side, where Hyunjin is just finishing up his own encounter, taking his passport back and smiling sweetly, thanking the agent with a little bow.
“Yeah,” Changbin hears himself say, watching Hyunjin walk ahead of him, heart too big for his chest, “yeah, I’m just going home.”