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Loki looked through the window as Alioth roared in the distance. The purple cloud made its way to a spaceship that had just fallen on the ground through a portal and devoured it all, sucking the life out of it and leaving only a carcass.
Loki hadn’t been in the Void for long – actually he didn’t know how long it had been since he was pruned and sent to that place – but he had got used to that sound that seemed so brutal the first time he heard it. As an ancient god, he had seen some terrifying creatures in his lifetime but none had given him goose bumps the way Alioth had.
But he had an army – a very small one – full of Loki’s, gods of mischief like him. They would have found a way to defeat the unbeatable and come out of that place alive. That was what Loki’s did; they survived.
Loki turned around to see the crew sat in a circle. The old version of himself and Sylvie were sipping on a green drink while chatting. She had always been quite hostile but she seemed to get along well with the old guy for some reason; Loki had never seen her so comfortable with someone. Then were Mobius and the kid, holding the alligator on his lap, and they appeared to be discussing the agent’s most interesting missions; the two of them seemed to be getting along as well.
In that moment Loki felt as an outsider. That didn’t bother him much; he was used to it. Even though that had changed slightly ever since he was caught by the TVA, he still wasn’t used to having a team. He was always alone and that had worked out most of the time so that was very new to him. Things changed quite rapidly since he was now in a crew made up of different versions of himself and a very handsome member of an organisation that he despised with every inch of his being.
Without being noticed, Loki went outside to have some time for himself. He needed to be alone for a bit, just him and his confused thoughts. He always considered himself someone who adapted quickly – he was an actual shapeshifter – to the situation he found himself facing but from time to time the god still felt like he needed to recharge.
He sat under a tree not far from the house – if it could be so called – they were staying at. He breathed out and looked at Alioth, appearing like a small and harmless purple cloud from that distance.
Loki flicked his fingers in the air and started playing with the green smoke that appeared on his hand. Then he materialised a dagger in his hand, as well as a small pair on golden horns on his head. He let out a sigh of relief and smiled as he leaned on the tree. During the time he spent at the TVA he hadn’t felt like himself at all. Every pantheon has a trickster and he had that role in the Norse one. Tricksters were chaotic creatures who couldn’t be controlled, who did what they wanted. They faced the consequence but most of the time they could get away from those situations as well. He’d always felt free but that changed when he was introduced to the concept of the Time Keepers. The knowledge that he wasn’t in fact free since everything that was going to happen was already written by those three entities had broken him.
That was why he had understood Sylvie’s intentions. They were alike. They proud themselves on their freedom and independence and when they discovered they never had such things they were shaken to their cores. Loki could feel her anger in her movements and in the way she spoke, her disgust, her determination to find the beings that imprisoned her. He felt as well.
But the two of them were different in one aspect; Sylvie had her whole life to plan her revenge on the TVA and on the Time Keepers while Loki barely had the time to think about it, to register what was happening around him. He still needed to figure out what was the best way to approach the matter. He could have just been selfish – as he always had – and follow the woman’s plan but he wanted to be sure that was the right thing to do for everyone. He didn’t know what could have happened if the Time Keepers seized to exist; the fear of the unknown stopped him from taking a decision. For once it wasn’t only about him. He feared for himself, of course, but that mission was bigger than him; it involved the entire universe. He couldn’t take such a decision considering only his interest.
Loki heard footsteps becoming louder. He made the dagger and his horns disappear quickly then he turned around and saw Mobius coming towards him. When he saw him, the agent gifted him with a small smile.
“Can I sit with you?” he asked.
Loki nodded and scooted to the side to make some room for Mobius beside him.
The two of them sat in silence for a while before Mobius broke the excruciating silence. Finally, thought Loki.
“So,” he said. “What are you doing all alone here? Everyone’s inside having fun.”
“I need some time to think.” Replied honestly Loki. “Besides, I’m not used to having a crew to have fun with before a very important mission. I’m not used to having a crew in general, actually.”
Mobius let out a small laugh. “I noticed that. But there’s always time to change, you know.”
“Maybe next time. Today I need to be alone with my thoughts.”
“Do you want me to go?” he said shyly as he placed his hands on his sides, ready to get up. Loki could feel the tension in his voice.
The god was quick in his reply. “No. Stay. It’s fine.” He then turned to Mobius, who had a small smile on his face; that made the corner of the god’s lips lightly curl upwards.
Another long silence followed that interaction and it was once again interrupted by the grey haired agent.
“How do you do it?” he asked, facing the scenery in front of them. Loki turned to face him, his eyebrows raised in confusion. “How do you continue to work alone? I’ve read about all your missions and you’ve always acted alone. You never sought anyone’s help. Have you ever felt the need for a companion?” he completed the question.
“Why do you care?”
“I want to understand you better, Loki.” Mobius looked at him in the eyes as he said that. He placed his hand on top of the god’s and squeezed it. “We’re on a mission together to destroy a creature that seems undefeatable and this might be the last time we get to talk this way. Believe it or not, I really enjoyed your company.”
“I literally betrayed you.”
“You make a very interesting point there.” They both chuckled. “But we still had fun, didn’t we?”
“We did.” Loki smiled. “And we would have had even more fun if we got to ride a jet ski like you always wanted.”
“I know right?!” the agent’s voice got higher in pitch as he pronounced those words. “Listen,” he then said. “I’m being serious, Loki. Working with people requires getting to know each other, even a little bit.”
“I still don’t think you need to know this stuff.”
“Then I’ll tell you about my experience with team work. Maybe you’ll loosen up or simply, I don’t know, learn something from this.”
He cleared his voice. “As you know, I have worked for the TVA for as long as I can remember. I even thought I was created for the sole purpose of protecting the sacred timeline. And I was surrounded by people who had the same motivations as me. We were programmed to think that way, we had no choice. But I had the opportunity to work with many people, everyone with a different approach to finding the solution to a problem, and that helped me not only with the job but as a person as well. Being offered different prospectives is more useful than you can imagine, Loki.”
The god listened carefully to what the man sitting beside him was saying. He was surprised to hear him open up to him with such ease. Loki had never done that with anyone; he always felt like he couldn’t afford to tear down the walls he had so carefully built over the decades. He couldn’t afford to be seen as weak.
Yet, he felt that with Mobius it was different.
As the agent finished the last sentence, Loki realised Mobius’ hand was still on top of his. He decided not to do anything about it for the time being.
Loki breathed out. “I don’t need anyone’s help.” He started. “That’s why I have never had a team. Having companions would have slowed me down. I’ve seen groups of powerful people achieve great things and I admire their determination and their ability to stay together. But that was never for me. All my ‘missions’, if we want to refer to them that way, stemmed from my personal experience, my unique journey. My actions weren’t guided by a moral that could have been shared by other people. For instance, no one wanted to overthrow the gods of Asgard for the same reasons as me. They couldn’t. I was Loki, the adopted son of Odin who wasn’t treated as an equal. But now…”
“Now you have a crew full of other Loki’s who went through roughly the same things as you. You don’t have to do this alone, Loki.” And as Mobius said that he grabbed the god’s hand and wrapped his around it – or rather Loki’s hand wrapped around his considering the difference in size. “They understand what you’re going through. You can trust them.”
Mobius stopped to face the man sitting next to him, looking at him straight in his light eyes. “You can trust me.”
“I don’t really trust people.” Loki responded while still holding the agent’s hand.
Mobius rested his head on the god’s shoulder and lowered his glaze to meet their hands. “I know.” He began to stroke Loki’s hand with his thumb. “I trusted you. I still do.”
Loki snuggled closer to the agent, carefully placing his head closer to Mobius’. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”
Mobius let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
The two of them sat under the tree for a long time, not saying a word, just enjoying each other’s presence and warmth.
Loki didn’t like to admit it but he grew closer to him as they spent time together. He gave him a sense of security that he found in no one else. It was strange for him to feel like he could just be himself with someone so he repressed it, even though Mobius had seen everything that had happened to him. He felt like the agent could understand him to a certain extent; having Loki never experience that feeling, he forced himself not to show much of himself.
But then, that evening Loki felt safer that he ever had. He had managed to open up to Mobius like he never had in his century long life. And the agent had listened carefully and interested to what he had to say, not taking his experience for granted or as a joke. That was his fear: to be ridiculed. He was a god; he was supposed to be all-powerful and confident. But there he was, having just revealed himself to the man he was now holding in his arms. Maybe he had more in common with humans – with Mobius – than he imagined.
This is ridiculous. He thought as he let out a small laugh.
Mobius lifted up his head, meeting the dark haired god’s eyes. “What?” he asked.
Loki opened his mouth to speak but he found a better way of responding. He placed his index finger under the agent’s chin and brought their faces closer together. He stopped for a brief second, allowing their breaths to bounce off their faces.
And then there was no more distance between them. Mobius’ soft lips felt like silk on his. The god’s heartbeat accelerated, sounding like a galloping horse. He felt his face grow warmer and warmer as he was invaded by the scent of his cologne, though very mild.
The agent broke the kiss right after, leaving in Loki a sense of guilt, the god asking himself if kissing him was the wrong thing to do.
As their eyes briefly met, Loki tried to decipher his expression and his mannerism, in vain. He didn’t have the time to since Mobius gently grabbed his face and brought their lips closer together once again.
Loki could feel he was less tense as the moved his hand towards his dark hair. That was enough for the god’s heartbeat to speed up, as if it wanted to jump out of his body. He began gently caressing Mobius’ cheek, feeling every inch of his soft skin against his fingertips. He then parted his lips, allowing their tongues to meet.
Loki softly placed his hand on his back, reducing the distance between them even more. He felt his chest warm up and his stomach twist as Mobius’ hand made its way from the back of his head to his neck.
They then kissed twice more. Two short and simple kisses that Loki landed on the man’s soft lips. With the taste of his lips and his smell still in mind, the god finally broke the kiss, his eyes glued to Mobius’ mouth as they parted.
He still hadn’t registered what had happened. It all felt so quick yet so right. He would have kissed the man now sitting beside him a thousand times and a thousand more, while his smell invaded his nostrils and inebriated him.
Loki wrapped his arm around Mobius and held him for a while. He didn’t know when he would have the opportunity to feel him that close again – or better if – so he savoured that moment, making sure he had one happy memory before the big day, before the day of their possible deaths.
He felt something new inside, a sensation that at first he couldn’t recognize but in his heart he knew. His stomach twisted in response and he smiled, later landing a kiss on Mobius’ head.
“I trust you.” He said softly. “I trust you, Mobius.”