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As Kurt left with Walter on their double date, Blaine stood frozen in the hallway, unable to believe what had just happened. He had to restrain himself from running after Kurt, embarrassing him with a confession of his love in front of Kurt’s date. He leaned against the wall for a few minutes, concentrating on his breathing. When his head finally stopped spinning he sucked in a few deep breaths and headed back to his car, his footsteps echoing around him.
He drove around Lima aimlessly for a little while, then decided to stop by his parents' house to see if they were home. He didn't want to talk to Dave right now, but a hug from his mom would be nice. Maybe his dad would watch a game with him. Or a movie. Or the rain fall. It didn’t much matter, anything to remind him that life would go on.
The house was empty when he arrived, but it was still early. His parents were probably just out getting dinner. He'd worry that they'd run into Kurt, except there was no way they'd be caught dead at Breadstix. With so many other restaurants to choose from (granted, mostly chains, but some decent one-offs) Blaine couldn't understand why everyone always wanted to go to Breadstix. That last date there with Dave when all of his bearded ex’s had showed up been more than enough to convince Blaine to explore other options for dining out.
Blaine poked around in his bedroom, finding some comfy sweats and an old t-shirt of Kurt's he hadn't brought with him when he moved out. Stupid bow tie, he thought, taking it off and tossing it on his bed, then retrieving it and folding it carefully, as if to apologize. It wasn't the bow tie's fault. Bow ties weren't magic, no matter what Brittany said. Kurt didn't even notice it was the one he wore to the proposal. He remembered putting it on this morning, lost in thoughts of Kurt even as Dave chattered on about their plans for the day. No wonder Dave finally called him on it. He was hopeless.
Blaine headed downstairs and played the piano in the living room for a while, enjoying the feel of the heavy keys under his fingers. His keyboard just wasn't the same. He closed his eyes and tried to lose himself in the piece, a Mozart sonata he had always loved, but it was hard to do.
Today's rollercoaster of emotions was going to take a little time to recover from. He knew the intensity of it would become bearable soon. Blaine thought this was a lesson he had been learning, something to hold on to when life's arrows struck. Just like the spear of agony when a slur was thrown his way, or when he fell hard on the concrete, he could breathe through this and in a little bit, it would fade enough to handle, to examine and deal with productively, to find a way to live with.
He tried not to let himself think too hard about Walter. For god's sake, Kurt had seen him with Dave tons of times, Blaine could survive seeing Kurt with his new beau. The man had seemed friendly enough. Walter did seem older than Blaine had imagined him, but who Kurt dated was his own business. Certainly plenty of people had told Blaine that Dave wasn't right for him. Of course, they had been right in the end.
It did sting a little, Sam and Rachel going on a double date with Kurt and Walter. He could understand why Kurt wouldn’t want to double date with him and Dave (despite Dave’s well meaning suggestion that they all hang out), but Rachel and Sam? Blaine sighed to himself. It didn’t need to mean anything. He could talk to Sam about it later. Of course, there would be no more double dates with him and Dave, but overall that was a good thing.
He gently closed up the piano and went into the kitchen. Looking around at the dearth of sweets, he decided to bake something for his parents. After a quick survey of the contents of the cabinets and the refrigerator, he decided on ginger snap cookies with vanilla frosting. The rhythm of mixing the ingredients was soothing, and by the time they were in the oven, Blaine was feeling considerably better.
Blaine knew he’d have another chance to tell Kurt how he felt. He would finally tell him the truth, and stop hiding behind these weird declarations of friendship that kept spilling out of his mouth. It was no wonder Kurt was seeing someone else.
Blaine didn't believe for a minute that Kurt would choose Walter over him in the end, at least, he really, really hoped he wouldn't. And if he did, well, that would be Kurt's choice. Blaine would be okay. And in the meantime, he wasn't going to make himself crazy worrying about it.
What he and Kurt needed was to talk. No elevators, no duets, no desperate kisses goodbye on the sidewalk. Maybe he'd even do the reasonable thing and call him, set up a time to talk, meet for coffee just the two of them.
Or maybe he'd frost these cookies and leave them on Kurt's porch. He had promised to bake him cookies twice a year, and it was about time for another batch.