Chapter Text
In the Miya household, the twins were always together. They did a lot of things together ever since they were born. Atsumu is older than Osamu by five minutes, by that, Atsumu is and will always be Osamu's older brother.
The two would do things together, they were attached to hip since they were born. They sat in the same class, they played the same games and even have the same ideals.
When they reached high school, they started becoming more and more of theirself. They started having diffences like in personalities, academic performance, social circles and many more.
Osamu and Atsumu are always seen together matter where they go. Of course, they go to the same school, although they were not in the same class, they were in the same club. They go home together and even come to events together. They were always by each others side, even in volleyball, enough that they were often called and known merely as 'The Miya Twins' instead of their individual names.
Atsumu wasn't good at social interaction, he's too loud and too much for anybody. Osamu however is a mild one, he can interact with absolutely anyone he wanted to. Atsumu loves volleyball, Osamu too, but the difference is that Atsumu loves it more than Osamu.
Atsumu would often practice on his own even after the practice ends. He would stay behind and continue to practice until he reached his goals. Osamu would go with him at first, he would accompany his twin but at some point, Osamu stopped coming.
Atsumu didn't mind it, they have their own life to live with so he can't really control his brother. They did fight when Osamu told him that he won't go pro though. Nevertheless, Atsumu still supported his brother even though he really want him to be with him in playing professionally.
Osamu didn't really realized it at first. The changes weren't that obvious, you see. It was just like how Atsumu sometimes overslept and will be late for school, or when Atsumu wants to practice more even after the practice ends. It's like a typical Atsumu, the ever hardworking setter. They appreciate his efforts and love for volleyball, they even admired his obsession towards the sports sometimes.
He didn't noticed it since it was what Atsumu does. He continued to live each day without knowing what's really happening under his nose. Then slowly he realized after a month. A full month of being strange, he didn't really want to admit it but he can't ignore it. Atsumu never walked with him to go to school or to walk home for the past month. Atsumu would give excuses for not being able to walk with him and Osamu would just let him be.
It was strange. It's not that different but something bothers Osamu, he can't pinpoint it but something have changed. He wanted to ask so many times but the question just can't leave his mouth. In the end, he would just let his twin do his own things.
It was just like one of those days where Atsumu would stay behind for extra practice. And because of how often he did it, Kita, their volleyball team captain, even gave him the key to the club room for him to return to the office once he's done.
When Osamu couldn't take it anymore, he decided to stay behind. He's not really worried that much, he just feels too strange. Although it was a small change in their routine, it was unsettling for him. He wants to walk home with Atsumu even if that means he'll stay behind watching him do his extra practice.
"Rin go ahead, I won't walk home with ya. I gotta stay behind with Tsumu" he said to the man in front of him. Suna, their middle blocker in the team and Atsumu's best friend, just nodded his head.
"Talk to him about it okay?" he said then turned around walking away. His tone somewhat concerned as his eyes gave a little frown. It looks really concerning since Suna doesn't even gave out that much of an expression, at most he'd give a deadpan look at anyone. Osamu looked at him confused, he didn't know what he needs to talk to Atsumu before thinking that it was probably because of what he's also thinking.
Atsumu is fairly surprised that he stayed behind, he even teased him saying that he's missing him and the like. Atsumu was smiling the whole time and Osamu just sat there observing his twin do his own thing. Osamu isn't sure if he's glad that Atsumu seems his normal or he's worried because Atsumu didn't bother to reply to his questions.
They stayed with each other for a long three hours but Atsumu didn't even answer any questions he threw or Atsumu just directed the question to another topic. It was suspicious and he can't get his head over it.
- - - - -
Suna Rintarou is a man who hates to waste energy unnecessarily. He prefers doing his thing in average and only do his best when the situation calls for it.
Just like in volleyball, if they had a upper hand, he'd play like normal at lost but when they're at a bad place, he'd pull out all his tricks and do his best. It wasn't a good quality but that's just how Suna is. Kita often scold him for slacking off but they know that Suna is also someone who hates to lose so they really don't have to worry that much.
He's not much of a social person, that's probably why he's always with the twins everyday. People would often have a wrong idea about his expression, the twins weren't bothered by that though. Ever since they met in their first years, the twins latched into him and that grew in him unable to get away. Aran even teased him at first that if he don't want to be the Twin's third person, he need to stay away from early on. Suna would say that Aran is right though.
Now, it wasn't an uncommon sight to see him togetehr with the twins. They even invite each other to their houses to hang out. It wasn't even a surprised when Osamu announced that Suna is his boyfriend. Atsumu was quite funny though, gaping like a fish needing water in shock. Atsumu later attacked Osamu and Suna in tight hugs saying congratulations.
Suna would go home with Atsumu and Osamu, they walk in the same route home except the last interception where Suna's home is headed. They always walk home together except when Atsumu wanted to practice a new move that needs him extra practice. Osamu and Suna wouldn't admit that they knew Atsumu was just letting them have some time on their own sometimes.
Just like Osamu, Suna thought that it was one of those days where Atsumu would just overworked himself. Or when Atsumu was being too considerate of their relationship. It wasn't that though, Suna took a measure to observe Atsumu after not walking home with him for two weeks. He hated doing something he don't want to but his friend is just too suspicious.
Atsumu who would always make remarks or make a funny jokes during lunch became too silent. It wasn't a common sight since Atsumu is the loudest out of the three of them. It's always Osamu who would start a conversation before he talks which is unusual. Atsumu was always the one who starts conversation, giving out lame jokes or telling some stupid stories, it wasn't like him to be quiet.
Atsumu didn't even retort in some of Osamu's teasing words and will just throw him a box of empty juice or something. His actions weren't even that lively, he just do the most minimal action he can. If it's like before, he'd be fighting Osamu in the floor with Suna recording the whole fiasco.
Suna could also see Atsumu in his class sometimes. He never saw Atsumu talk to anyone in his class, he never even saw a single student talk to Atsumu during those times he'd walk passed his room. The twins are too popular to be left alone that much. Atsumu just sat silently in his desk, his head is facing the direction of the window so Suna couldn't actually see his expression.
When Osamu asked to be left behind, Suna thought that they would talk about it. He wished to see the usual Atsumu in the morning so he just let Osamu handle it. He let Osamu handle the thing and only to be greeted with the same thing the next morning.
He furrowed his brows in confusion and concern. Atsumu is just like yesterday, he didn't really shout like usual, he didn't smile like usual, and he didn't even throw a single teasing. He threw a look at Osamu who just shrugged to him and sigh. It was then that he realized what could've happened to their talk. Suna just realized that Atsumu didn't talk about anything.
Osamu and Suna accompanied Atsumu in his late practices. At first, Osamu said that he can just go home but Suna insisted. He too is worried and he won't go home without anybody the twins. For the first few days, Atsumu just let them but after a whole week he began teasing them and it annoyed both Osamu and Suna.
Atsumu is definitely happy with them there. He would wear that huge grin in his face even after he failed to achieve his intention in practice. He would even occasionally invite then to play with him. Suna and Osamu just let him do what he wants because whenever they were doing those extra practice.. Atsumu never erases his smile in his face.
Suna thought that Atsumu would be fine since he's not really doing something stupid. Osamu just threw his brother a glare then left with Suna. Both of them were pissed by his twin's teasing and couldn't take it anymore. They both walk in silence, although they were worried, they have too little evidence to confront him. They just couldn't accuse him of doing anything harmful since he always would end his late practice according to Kita's schedule for him.
- - - - -
Kita is an organized person. He would always plan things ahead and prepare for it. He grew up under his grandmother's care and teachings. He always do things confidently and never falters. However, for the first time, he became uncertain.
At first, Kita was fine with occasional late practice that Atsumu's would do. He would even accompany him sometimes. But when he started doing it regularly, Kita worked on a schedule and gave it to Atsumu. He told Atsumu that if he ever practice later than he scheduled then he would never let him do his late practice anymore. He was quite glad when Atsumu followed his schedule, though he's still not sure if he actually should be less worried.
Atsumu is known to be late for some practice due to oversleeping. Osamu would always arrive first and will inform them that he left his twin just like always.
Kita was prepared for Atsumu to be late, things actually didn't go according to his expectations. Atsumu arrived just in time for morning practice. He raised a brow about it but never said anything.
For the past week, Osamu would always say that Atsumu seems to love oversleeping but Atsumu would always arrive in time for practice. He began worrying if the twins were fighting somehow that they don't want the team to know. He threw that idea out of his mind since the twins aren't really that considerate when it comes to their fight.
"Atsumu" he called out Atsumu once the after school practice ends. Most of the team headed for the locker room and only a few remains catching some rest.
"Yes, Kita-san?" Atsumu replied then Kita gestured him to the corner of the gym. When he's sure that no one would be able to eavesdrop in their conversation he talked to Atsumu.
"Yer not fightin' with Osamu right?" he asked directly. Atsumu look at him in wonder then shakes his head in denial.
"No Kita-san, we're not really" he said then Kita look at him in the eye wanting to see any dishonesty.
"Talk to me if somethin's wrong, alright?" he said and Atsumu flinched at his words. That flinched didn't escape Kita's eyes as he harden his stare.
"..Okay Kita-san" he said and started going back to the court to continue practicing his serves. Kita sigh as Atsumu didn't say a word about what's going on with him.
- - - - -
The rest of the team noticed something changing in Atsumu.
The first years noticed that Atsumu never make any cold and arrogant words directed at them. He instead just ignored them completely. It made the first years happy at first but they started hitting a wall. Atsumu would always say things about their skills whenever he's able to. His words made the first years try it in frustration and they didn't actually noticed that his words were guiding them to be better.
Now that they were ignoring him, they realized what they have lost. They tried talking to him and they receive a calm response about what they need to improve and not the same words they were used to hear. It made the first years confused and scared them for a bit, they actually wanted the previous Atsumu than the calm and silent Atsumu. It was freaking them out.
The second years were closer to Atsumu, they noticed that Atsumu never started a conversation without anyone talking to him. He would never joke like he always does and would only reply to his twin's words when he wants to. His silence worried the team so much.
The third years noticed more than the others. Atsumu would not walk with his brother to school but would arrive just in time in practice. He would not talk unless others talk to him. Atsumu didn't make any jokes or funny remarks now. He started avoiding teams as much as possible preferring to be alone. His tone became more and more lower and the usual liveliness were nowhere to be seen. Lastly, no one saw Atsumu dressed in the locker room. He would come just in time and all of them were already dressed. He would leave the last so no one is with him in that time. That actually made them think that Atsumu is hiding something from them.
They tried talking to Atsumu about it using teasing words or subtle remarks but Atsumu never seems to notice or he just downright ignore it.
Helpless, the team couldn't do anything about it. They just took an effort in looking after him more than others just to be sure that he's not doing something dangerous.
- - - - -
Sakusa met Atsumu in his first year training camp with Inarizaki. Atsumu is loud, obnoxious and have no respect for others. He would always use words that would make others hate him to the core and Sakusa noticed that it was deliberate. Like some kind of play Atsumu was used to perform.
When the opposite side gave him an offended face, Atsumu would then stay away. If the other gave him a look of lost or just understanding, he'd stay for a bit and would be friends with him if he can handle his acts. It was just like testing strangers, Atsumu wanted to know who can be his friends and who can't.
Even though Atsumu is like that, Sakusa look a liking at him. Atsumu, unlike what others thought is hygienic and clean. He respects his boundaries and never crossed it. He would leave him behind if he was uncomfortable and wouldn't talk if he's not in the mood for it.
In just a short two weeks of training together, Sakusa and Atsumu formed a friendship which is rare for Sakusa who never lets other in on his life just like that.
They had practice matches and they just got closer and closer. They even text each other regularly. Their friendship just came so easy on them, it was just like some kind of force that keeps them to be with each other.
Sakusa knew that something is up when Atsumu never texted him in a long week. He, for the first time, texted him first. He's glad that Atsumu replied. They talked for a while and Atsumu mentioned that he got busy in the past week so Sakusa let it go.
Sakusa texts Atsumu first now, he didn't know why but Atsumu didn't initiate contacting him first. At first he thought that Atsumu's finally fed up with him just like his other friends were. However, his replies isn't that much different from how it used to so Sakusa just took it in him to contact him first instead of the other way round.
It's been a month after Atsumu's weird behavior started. Sakusa never let it show how much it affected him but he's getting distracted even in his own practice and that made him frustrated.
After Komori confronted him about his worries, Sakusa began thinking why he's worried so much. Atsumu is constantly in his mind and he never really noticed it until now. Sakusa then thought about what his cousin said before walking away.
"Who are you thinking about so much? That's not like you at all Kiyo , you must really care about that person. Talk to them before it affects even your grades."
He grumbled as he tried to focused on his homework. Why did Atsumu changed anyway? When they were in a call, Atsumu's voice is too soft, his words lack the bite and teasing he usually had. His tone were never that calm and he never heard Atsumu laugh for the past month. He didn't know what's going on and that's making him crazy.
- - - - -
Atsumu is inside his own room. It's a weekend and there's no school. Osamu is hanging out with Suna and he's left behind on his own. Their parents were out working and would be back before the sun sets.
He sat in his bed, his eyes staring at the wall of his room. His gaze blank just like his expression, then a tear slide down his face.
He cupped his face as he started sobbing. His body shakes as he tried stopping it.
"We why me?" he muttered under his breath.
"How.. would I t-tell 'em?" he said as he sob more and more.
"I-I hate this" he said and let himself fall to his bed covering his entire face.
Muffled crying can be heard throughout his room as Atsumu continue to be in despair about something he could never have a courage to tell anyone.