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Zeg never had a definition of what “blue” meant. He would ask his parents and they would give him different meanings and it only confused him even more.
Papa Marty would say, “blue is the color of the sky, the water, and my eyes! Blue’s pretty, amiright?”
Daddy Jake said, “blue is the symbolism of peace, of flow. You have to be blue in order to be anything else.”
Papa Henry clarified, “blue is sadness. If I’m blue, that means I’m sad. If you’re blue, that means you’re sad.”
And then Daddy Kal responded, “ Blue is one of the three primary colors of pigments in painting and traditional color theory, as well as in the RGB color model. It lies between violet and green on the spectrum of visible light. Got that, bud?”
Zeg didn’t know what to think. Blue was in so many places and in so many things that all the things his daddies and papas said confused him. Zeg didn’t know what blue meant and he didn’t like that. Everyone around him seemed to know what blue meant and he felt left out being the only who who didn’t know.
He cried to his mom about how he couldn’t understand what blue is, about how there were so many meanings to blue that he didn’t know which one were true. His mom responded by wiping his tears with her tire and said, “blue can be many things. And blue can be the tears you have now.” She pointed at his chest and smiled, “blue can be what you feel here when your eyes start to tear. It could mean something now, but nothing later.”
“Zeg… Zeg understands… But doesn’t…” Zeg replied as he patted his chest. He started to tear up again and look at his mother. “Is something wrong with Zeg?”
“Oh, baby,” Lily pulled Zeg close to her and hugged him. “There’s nothing wrong with you Zeg. It just means you need time to understand. It’s okay for you to not get it now.” She patted his head and tried to soothe him so they could attend dinner happily.
Zeg’s definition of blue changed from time to time and he didn’t mind. There are times when his definition would be good, like that time when his Daddy Kal and Papa Marty took them ice skating and he wore a blue scarf or that time when Mom planted blue flowers and Papa henry and Zeg would help her.
And there were times when blue would mean bad, like that time when Daddy Kal and Mom would argue and the house would rumble from their stomping and yelling. Daddy Jake would try to calm them down but then he’d get dragged into the argument. Papa Henry and Papa Marty tried calming Zeg when these fights would happen and Zeg would watch as the blue ink fell from Daddy Kal’s desk. And that other time when the sky would rain so hard that their house began to link and Daddy Kal, Daddy Jake, and Papa Henry would try and search for anything to put the rain in. Zeg found a blue bucket and watched as the small drops fill it until the rain stopped.
But there was a time when Zeg hated blue. The sky was clear and beautiful and birds flapped their wings as they watch the dino truck wail. Mom didn’t wake up two weeks ago, and no matter how much Zeg shook and begged her to wake up, she wouldn’t. Papa Marty tried to explain that Mom went to a pretty place where she could jump in clouds forever but Zeg was too young to understand that she can’t come back. That day, blue was the sky that displayed the memories Zeg had made with Mom. Blue was the bird that sung the lullaby his Mom used to sing to him. Blue was the tears that everyone had as they set Mom into the ground and cover her with the blue flowers she planted.
Zeg never had the definition of “blue.” But what he felt that day surely wasn’t it.