Chapter Text
“Akutagawa, you don’t have to do this.”
“You said we wouldn’t talk about it.”
“I said not to bring up the D word in this house to avoid arguments like this, but for fuck sake Ryuu why does he have you following around that tiger boy, and why the fuck are you listening to him?”
“I-I just have to do this, then I’ll finally have Dazai-san’s approval.”
“You know what Ryuu, do whatever the fuck you want I don’t care, I’m leaving.”
That was the last conversation Chuuya Nakahara had with his lover before he was later killed that day. Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, a rank lower than himself in the infamous Port Mafia and his boyfriend of almost 2 years, had his neck sliced by the enemy during a mission gone wrong aboard a ship. Chuuya didn’t know much of the details, Kouyou had come up to his apartment the following morning to break the news, since information between the aligned Detective Agency and Mafia was slow to travel due to the current shitshow, but truth be told he barely remembered a word she told him. There was no body recovered, he remembered that much.
Chuuya sat in silence whilst Kouyou attempted to comfort him, but she was at a loss about what to even say. Of course, it wasn’t the first time Chuuya lost someone close to him, in fact a part of his brain was telling him that he should be used to this by now especially in his line of work, but this was drowned out by the louder side of his brain screaming that it is exactly the reason he has already lost so many people that this is unfair and shouldn’t be happening again.
Later that evening Kouyou left, not before constantly making sure that Chuuya was definitely okay (to which he lied he was) and to call her if he needed anything even if it was stupid (which he wouldn’t). The lock of the front door clicked signalling Kouyou had left, and before Chuuya even gave himself the chance to shed a single tear, he stood up and with a frustrated scream and a kick sent his coffee table flying across the lounge (without even the use of his ability). He collapsed to the floor and lifted his gloved hands up to bury his face in them- letting out an ugly sob but still finding it impossible to physically cry. If anything, he felt angry. He told Akutagawa that day not to listen to Dazai, that he’s just manipulating him into being his puppet and as long as Dazai doesn’t give that ‘approval’, Akutagawa would chase after his every command, like the loyal dog he claims he is. Now Akutagawa’s stubborn nature has led him to his death and- no, Chuuya couldn’t blame his boyfriend, he didn’t have the heart. It was obviously his own fault.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Of course it was Chuuya’s fault. Who, in a workplace as dangerous as theirs, would walk out on their lover during an argument? They always say never to leave your loved ones during a fight because that’s always when something bad will happen- and now it has. Chuuya let Akutagawa leave for his mission that day thinking he didn’t care and now he’s gone, he’ll never get to tell him he loves him again, and in return won’t hear the slightly embarrassed grumble of “love you too” back (only if they were alone of course, Akutagawa had an image to upkeep).
The light seeping through the windows came as a sign that the sun was rising and morning was now here, and Chuuya hadn’t moved an inch from being slumped against the couch with his knees tucked against his chest. His head had been buzzing the full night with countless different questions, memories, what could he have done to prevent this and most importantly, what the fuck was he meant to do now?
“Work…”
“Huh?” Kouyou spoke from the other end of the phone.
“I need to work but uhm, I’m sorry I don’t wanna, I can’t…come in. Can you get someone to send over the paperwork on my desk?” Chuuya replied.
“Of course, is there anything else?” Kouyou asked.
“No.”
“Chuuya-kun?”
“There’s nothing else.” Chuuya hung up the phone.
*A few weeks later*
Chuuya’s method of coping the last few weeks was well- not coping at all. He was determined to get stuck into his work, which he could do from the comfort of his home (or bed to be exact). Normally he wasn’t the biggest fan of checking and writing a mountain of documents, but it helped him focused on not thinking about anything else. He also began to take a few glasses of wine with his paperwork- nothing from his vast collection of expensive fancy wines from his cellar, they were only for celebration, but just the cheap stuff. By the time he forced his way through his work he discovered that when he went to bed, he was drunk enough to pass straight out into a deep slumber, meaning he didn’t have to lay awake and reflect on what was happening.
Kouyou had still been communicating with him, she was the only person Chuuya found he had the mental energy to reply to, and she had been doing as well as she could. Bringing up groceries or just leaving them at his door when he couldn’t face seeing anyone and giving him updates on the current state of the whole disaster that seemed to be happening in Yokohama right now. Chuuya found he barely registered what she was telling him, but one conversation from the beginning of last week stood out to him. Higuchi and Gin, Akutagawa’s work partner and little sister, were both missing. No reports were made of them being harmed in any combat, and when Chuuya asked of the Black Lizard, Kouyou said- and to keep this information on the downlow- that Tachihara had been acting as a double spy this full time. Chuuya hated traitors. He was someone who prided himself on his loyalty, so when anyone betrayed his trust, they were as good as dead to him.
He certainly felt a lump catch in his throat when he heard of Gin and Higuchi’s disappearance. Over the years he had gotten really close to Gin and considered her like a little sister, hell even Higuchi too, the whole Port Mafia really became like a family to him. Higuchi had called Chuuya not long after Akutagawa’s death, and she was in complete hysterics. It was no secret the blonde had a crush on his boyfriend, anyone could see that, but she was still always supportive of them and gave everything to her job, and that’s the kind of person Chuuya really admired. The news that day really struck reality into Chuuya, who hung up the phone with Kouyou, grabbed a bottle of cheap wine chilling in the fridge to take to bed, and for the first time properly cried.
Chuuya was halfway through looking over reports of a shipment when he received a phone call from Mori. The boss had seldom contacted Chuuya over the last few weeks unless it was work related, which Chuuya didn’t mind. He originally gave his condolences of course and praised Akutagawa as a good worker and they had big boots to fill, but didn’t dwell on trying to be overly sympathetic which Chuuya felt kept him grounded. When Chuuya asked if it was okay he was working from home, Mori reassured him it was and to take as much time as he needed. Chuuya felt Mori seemed surprisingly calm considering how much the Mafia had lost recently, but he knew Mori probably had some kind of plan in place to keep everything going, that’s what made him such a good boss after all. Chuuya never questioned Mori, agreeing to whatever role he was assigned and hoping things would turn round soon, the best it could anyway.
Almost an entire month after the death of his lover (although he couldn’t decide if it felt like hours or years), Chuuya caught on the news that the terrorist organisation ‘The Decay of Angels’ had been taken down by the Armed Detective Agency. Chuuya put down his pen to turn up the volume and listen to the news- trying to catch the names of the arrests when he heard his phone ring. He picked up the phone and identified the caller as Kouyou, who was most likely going to inform him of the terrorist group’s defeat. Chuuya pressed answer and held the phone up to his ear: “Ane-san?”
“He’s alive."