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Ages 8 and 10
People teased her a bit. It was elementary school, who wouldn’t?
Kids weren’t kind. It was a fact she dealt with every day. For one reason or another, kids were never kind. And probably never would be.
But this was too much. They had pulled at her hair, her unruly curls becoming too great a hassle and her aunt throwing it in a badly done ponytail. She took it out halfway through the day, and now her mess of dark hair was apparently too much for the others to ignore.
The boys couldn’t be more than fifth grade. Taller, older, and yet still as mean. Pulling at her hair and making tears threaten to fall. She wouldn’t let them, of course, but it didn’t ease the embarrassment.
It was over a moment later. Shouting echoed around her, although she didn’t open her eyes in order to figure out where the noise was coming. She stood still, waiting for the noise to stop. She only opened her eyes when it did. A hand landed on her shoulder. A painstakingly familiar hand, like the boys that had been previously bullying her. It wasn’t the same though; this one was gentle.
“Are you okay?”
His voice was just as familiar, but for different reasons. She remembered it as the boy that had tripped her previously, embarrassing her in doing so, and again when she tried to fight him off (and he won, as should have been expected).
She nodded. “Mhm.” Ahsoka kept walking. But the boy, Rex, she remembered his name was, kept walking, boys she could only assume were brothers trailing ten feet behind. “Stop following me.”
“I just wanted to make sure those bullies don’t come back,” He defended. She gave a small huff, clearly not happy with the decision on the outside, but secretly grateful they wouldn’t be back. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Where?”
“Why would I tell you where I live?” Ahsoka barked. “That’s just stupid. And besides, I’m home alone anyway.”
Rex continued keeping stride with her despite his extra height on her. “Why are you home alone?” She realized her dumb decision to say that the moment Rex opened his mouth.
“Because.”
“But why?”
“‘Cause aunt Kat works on school days.”
Rex looked down at her as if the thought of her having an aunt and not a mom was weird, but she didn’t catch it. “When will she be home?”
For some reason, against anything her aunt had ever told her about strangers, Ahsoka kept talking. Rex sounded like he cared. And not many people cared these days. “Not until late. She works at a hotel and they make her stay really long.”
He paused. Thoughts seemed to swirl in his head as they walked down the street. Ahsoka was unconsciously walking towards home, but he didn’t have to know that. They reached an intersection as he seemed to find the courage to voice his thought, but didn’t. At least not to her. Rex turned towards his brothers who were still following behind, all but two younger than him. The oldest, a boy with a gray hoodie that looked old enough to be in highschool, was who he went to. He spoke quietly.
The older boy nodded and threw a faint smile at Ahsoka. She shrunk in on herself at the affection but moved on anyway. The light was going to turn any minute now, and then they’d have to decide where to go.
“Why don’t you come home with us today? My mom can call your aunt and tell her where you are.”
Ahsoka gazed up at the boy who stood at least six inches taller than her. “Really?”
“Ya, of course.”
“But I was mean,” She countered, shouldering her backpack. The lights still hadn’t turned but she had a feeling it wouldn’t stay that way for long.
He shrugged. “Not really. Besides, what good is going home to an empty house gonna do?”
“Not much I guess.”
“Then it’s settled.” The light turned, and all five brothers started walking across the street. Excitedly, Ahsoka followed.
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“And who’s this?” The woman asked, tall and kind, hair nearly as curly as Ahsoka's. Just the sight of a woman who was happy to see her made her a little less tense.
“This is Ahsoka,” Rex explained. “She was going to have to be home alone, so we said she could come with us. And that you could call her aunt and tell her where she was?” He asked hopefully, looking afraid of overstepping boundaries.
“Do you know your aunt’s phone number?” Mrs. Fett asked Ahsoka. She nodded eagerly.
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Ages 10 and 12
“Are you sure this is how it goes?” Ahsoka asked, laying on the concrete driveway underneath Rex’s bike.
“Positive. Just hold it there.” He fiddled with the chain, popping it back into place (or at least what she hoped was in place), and giving her a triumphant smile. “See? I told you I could do it!”
Ahsoka hopped up from the ground once she was sure he was holding onto his bike and ran to grab her own. Laughing about how Ahsoka dropped a wrench on her head, they rode off. The streetlights were beginning to come on, but Rex didn’t care, only that Ahsoka would get home safely.
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Ages 14 and 16
She felt her heart beating straight through her chest, bike abandoned on the sidewalk, waiting for someone to answer her knocking. If no one answered she wasn’t sure where she’d go. Barriss was too far away, and Kat was sure to be angry that she had run off after the fight, so there was nowhere else to hide.
The outside light flicked on and the door flew open. “Ahsoka, hun, come here,” Mrs. Fett cooed, taking her inside and out of the cold.
“I’m sorry it’s so late, but there was nowhere else to go, and-” She was interrupted by a hiccup as she continued on the everlasting challenge not to cry. The older woman only held her close in a hug, stroking one hand through her messed up hair and the other rubbing her back.
“It’s okay, you can always come here. Always.” Ahsoka spared a glance at the clock in the living room; it read just past midnight. Too late to be awake if she were sane. “You stay here and I’ll grab some blankets, okay?” She nodded and sat on the sofa. Tears made their way down her cheeks against her will, quickly being brushed away, only for more to appear.
She faintly registered footsteps coming towards her. “Hey,” Rex’s soft voice said.
She was wrapped up in a hug as he knelt in front of her. Her arms were wrapped up inside it and only a few moments passed before she was trying not to sob. Breaths caught in her throat, and tears leaked out whether she wanted them to or not.
Ahsoka was guided upwards, Mrs. Fett made a makeshift bed on the couch, and sat back down again. Tears wiped away by Rex’s gentle hands, and she was laid carefully down.
She was asleep before the two could leave the room.
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“I leave for basic in two weeks.”
Her side of the line went quiet. She was in the middle of a Walmart aisle when he’d called her, barely getting a “hello” in before spitting out the news. Someone shoved past her. She didn’t notice.
“Two weeks?” Ahsoka whispered. “You leave in- in two weeks?” He gave an affirmative hum. Neither spoke for a few moments. “I thought they’d give you more notice than that.”
Rex seemed to pale just by the silence on the other line. “I knew a month ago, I just… Didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.” It wasn’t easy an easy thing to hear, he knew that, especially since they were already in the middle of a war. Joining now was basically a death wish. Ahsoka knew that as well as he did.
He heard a sniff from the other side of the line and Ahsoka fumbled to say goodbye. His phone beeped to tell him that she’d hung up, as if he needed the reminder.
On the other end she shoved her phone in her pocket. There, in the middle of the aisle, Ahsoka fell to her knees and sobbed.
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She anxiously watched the news for the first few months. When he called to say he graduated and was being shipped out, no news was good news. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t kill for an update.
But after a few more weeks, a few more months, dare she say she forgot.
It hurt her to think about Rex, and she’d do anything to forget. She kept in contact with his family, but most of them were shipped off anyway. Just a few months after Rex were his younger brothers Fives and Echo, and Tup after that. It was just Mrs Fett, and most days it hurt to think about her too.
So she forgot.
She moved on without them and reminded herself that no news was good news.