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There were three things Nobara knew by heart. One, Itadori Yuji was an idiot who’s only redeemable qualities were that he gave excellent hugs and knew his way around a kitchen. Two, no matter how good the fishnet stockings looked, they would inevitably tear when she was thrown onto the ground during a spar. And three, Maki Zenin knew how to throw someone at least ten feet, and for once Nobara did not feel the urge to yell at someone for ruining her new tights.
Instead, her stomach was putting a washing machine to shame, flipping and fluttering when she felt Maki’s strong arms wrap around her. Her face was burning by the time her feet left the ground, and when gravity finally took its hold she slammed into the pebbly dirt of the sparring grounds. And yet the only thoughts in her head were how she could get Maki’s hands on her again.
She knew she was limping when Megumi called for break, her sides duly throbbing as her sneakers crunched rocks underfoot on her way to the benches. Nobara collapsed on the rough hewn bench, flecks of gray-green paint sticking to her sweaty shirt. The sun was lowering in its arc, beams still beating heavily on Nobara’s head when something freezing touched the side of her head, making her jump. She looked up to get a face full of Maki’s glistening abs, her mouth instantly in the paradoxical state of salivating and going bone dry.
Maki waved the bottle in front of her face, glasses glinting in the light and rendering her expression unreadable. “Thirsty?”
For you, Nobara wanted to say. “Yeah, sure,” was what came out instead.
“Don’t chug it, else you’ll get sick.” Maki warned, taking a gulp of her own water. Nobara’s eyes on her fellow sorcerer’s neck, a trail of water making its way below the collar of Maki’s dull grey workout shirt. “You’ll also get sick if you don’t drink it at all.” The dark-haired girl said dryly, Nobara’s gaze snapping away.
“Right, right.” She unscrewed the cap and sipped, the water soothing her dry throat.
“One of my friends is coming back to Tokyo.” Maki said conversationally, sea green eyes still watching Nobara drink. “Want to come with me to meet him? We can grab lunch together afterward.”
Nobara’s brain finally caught up with what Maki had said and she choked on a mouthful of water. She coughed and heaved, shoulders shaking with the effort, before a solid thump on the back helped clear out her airways.
“Thanks.” Nobara said, still gasping for air. Maki nodded, hand still resting on the red-head’s back, sending sparks up her spine.
“Are the choking noises a yes?” Nobara rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. When she looked up at Maki, she caught a glimpse of a strange look, before it was replaced with a smirk.
”You’re fooling yourself.” Nobara thought. ”You’re being a clown, this isn’t a date, this is just, two friends hanging out.”
And like a clown, Nobara said yes.
- - -
The place where they were meeting was crowded, swarms of people parting around them like waters in a stream. Nobara regretted the outfit she was wearing; a turtleneck and slacks making her body uncomfortably warm in the sun. The look Maki gave her when she came to pick her up made it worth it, though. The ride went by quickly, Nobara only asking a few questions about the person they were going to meet. Apparently he was a rather strong sorcerer, and was considered a special grade. There was a strange lilt to the way Maki spoke about him, a proud, caring warmth that Nobara hadn’t ever heard before. It hurt, the crampedness of Nobara’s chest making it hard to breathe. The car smelled of mint, smelled of sweat and metal. Nobara took a deep breath in to memorize it, because she knew it was Maki’s scent.
The square was crowded, various shops and restaurants lining the walkways and streets. Nobara cast her gaze around, searching for the thin, pale boy Maki had described. Beside her was Maki’s intimidating frame, her sharp stare causing many people to give the pair a wide berth. Nobara appreciated it, the uncomfortable jostling that they had been privy to when they had first arrived had made her feel uncomfortable.
Maki stiffened next to her, the sun’s glare reflecting off her lenses. She took two careful steps forward, three, before enveloping what seemed to be a very lean looking teenager in a tight hug. Something burst to life in Nobara’s chest, envy she knew it wasn’t, because Maki wasn’t hers, wasn’t anybody’s. This was sick jealousy, and it made her legs weak as she left the two of them to their private business, wandering off.
She tried to distract herself, the usual window displays failing to ignite a sense of happiness in her, the want to look nice because she knew she looked nice. She wanted to look nice for Maki, was a flash of a thought that she quickly tamped down. Her eye caught a display, beauty products arranged by color. The faint scent of peach hung around the store when she walked in, a few on sale brands scattered about. Nobara trailed her fingers over the sloping caps, rainbows under her fingertips.
She had dreamed, both awake and asleep, of kissing Maki Zenin. She had seen her chapped lips, the occasional flash of scar under a tank top. There was a want that threaded through her bones like the vines of a rose, prickling her to reach for Maki. The want was still there, the hunger, her roses weren’t wilting, but it was still a bouquet of regret, that Maki Zenin wouldn’t hold her the way she wanted, wouldn’t hold her as if they were more than friends.
It was an impulse, one she acted on for once, grabbing a stick of chapstick after a glance at the label, peach, and chucked it onto the register counter, the cashier flinching at the sudden movement and noise. Nobara snapped her fingers, glancing out the store window. “Make it quick.”
“Do- Do you need a bag-” Nobara didn’t cut him off verbally, a raised eyebrow was enough for him to blanch and quickly ring her up. She exited the store at almost a run, hoping that Maki hadn’t left her. She knew she wouldn’t, but the rasping, sad voice in her head said otherwise.
She found them searching for her, Maki’s expression looking almost panicked until she spotted Nobara coming towards them. Her mouth twitched, face going through a series of emotions before returning to a cool calm.
“Thought you had left,” Maki commented as they walked back, her arm slung around Yuuta’s shoulders. Nobara’s shoulders slumped and saying nothing, pressed the chapstick into Maki’s hand, allowing herself a moment to brush her fingers against a calloused palm before she walked ahead. The glimpse of Maki's confused stare floated in front of her eyes like a burned afterimage. She didn’t look back.
- - -
Maki Zenin knew how to incapacitate a man in three steps, and how to kill them in two more, and yet the steps she needed to take towards Nobara’s retreating back were unknown to her. This was unknown to her, the only sight she usually saw of Nobara were sparkling eyes, bared teeth in an animal-like semblance of a smile; dangerous, warning, alluring.
Lunch was awkward, Nobara not looking at her as she and Yuuta talked, instead picking at her salad. Her silence made Maki’s chest hurt, in a way that she didn’t understand. They drove back in silence, Nobara sitting in the back to let her and Yuuta “talk some more.”
It was late when they came back, the few other students converging on Yuuta to talk about old times, Yuuji tagging along excitedly, like the puppy dog he was. And once again, Maki was made familiar with the sight of Nobara’s back, as the red-head began the trek to the dorms, clothing melding in with the lengthening shadows of the evening.
Maki followed.
Silently, quickly, steps that she now knew how to take because she now knew what the feeling was, the one that ignited in her when Nobara smiled her wolf smile. Her hand, rough with callouses and scars, wrapped gently around Nobara’s wrist, as she pushed her against her dorm door. Her body towered over Nobara’s, trapping her against the door.
“Are you okay?” She asked softly, eyes searching Nobara’s own. The girl gave a non committal hum, face the same color as her hair. Her hand groped for the doorknob, so Maki’s other hand descended down to still it. Her glasses may let her see curses, and yet even when curses were byproducts of emotion she could not see how people were feeling.
“I’m fine.” Nobara insisted, voice quiet for once, and the low tone was like warning bells ringing in Maki’s ears.
“I’m not so sure.” Nobara heaved a sigh, and Maki stepped away, giving her space. She leaned back, sliding down the smooth wood to sit lying against the door. Her head was in her hands, but her shoulders weren’t shaking. Maki knew she wouldn’t show that, her pride lining the inside of her bones like the fine filigree of her dresses.
“And I’m sure you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her retort held no bite, no bark either as Maki sat across from her door, leaning against the opposite wall. This wasn’t Nobara, this was a ghost.
“Well, if I don’t know what I’m talking about, I would like to learn.” She said softly, palms rubbing against the worn denim of her jeans.
There was silence in the hall, wind blowing through tree branches and the starting chorus of crickets the only noises.
“I know you like Yuuta.” Maki started, her fingers stilling in the worrying of her jean’s hem. “And I know that your family are assholes. I want you to be happy, to have something you choose.”
She blinked, surprised, as Nobara hid her head between her knees. Shadows of leaves alighted on her burning hair, a wreath.
“I just want you to be happy.” It came out choked, and Nobara almost bit it off at the sappiness, the cliche energy of the phrase. Maki didn’t want sappy, or cliche, she wanted seriousness, an equal. Yuuta was strong, like her; was all business just like her.
The truth of it all, no matter how sappy it was, was that to Nobara, Maki’s happiness came first.
“Well, I’m not.” Nobara looked up, eyes puffy but no wetness staining her cheeks. The shadows alighted across her forehead, her eyes, dappling them in black and gold. It was a mask that hid nothing. Maki thought she looked beautiful. “I can’t be happy,” Maki continued. “When one of the only people I care about isn’t. Happy, I mean.” She added, cursing herself at the awkwardness of the phrase.
“But- but it’s about what you want, Maki,” Nobara pleaded, with herself or her crush, she didn’t know. “I don’t want to take this from you.” Her hands smoothed out her skirt before gripping it in fists, then smoothed it out again, over and over.
Maki’s expression began to clear, bangs obscuring her face slightly. “And you know what I want?” She said softly. She leaned forward, and the hall faded away.
Nobara froze, a faint breeze carrying the faint scent of peaches. She wondered where it came from. After all it was only her and Maki, her only anchor the strong wood against her back, and even that felt like it would flutter away like butterfly wings if she leaned wrong.
“Do you want to know what I want?” Maki asked again, hand slowly alighting on Nobara’s shoulder. There was practically no space between them, and yet it felt like thousands of feet, a canyon between. Maki’s other hand came up, tracing the edges of leaves and petals that scattered across Nobara’s face. The scent of peaches was stronger now. Maki’s lips looked less chapped, looked shiny in the low light. Nobara wondered if she was using the chapstick she gave her.
Then Maki kissed her, and she didn’t have to wonder anymore.
Nobara thought the creation of the universe wasn’t all that cracked up to be. If you wanted heat, and newness, and possibly multiple things exploding, you could just kiss Maki Zenin for the first time. And every kiss after felt like the first, the breaths they took in between plagued with gasps for air, heated breath melting against each other's lips before they met again. Every time Maki ran her short nails (a sign Nobara should have noticed) up her scalp, a new galaxy burst into being, and maybe the both of them could run away to it.
Nobara’s heart felt three sizes too big, or maybe her ribs were three sizes to small. She felt delirious, Maki’s mouth tasted like peaches, her heart expanding another size when she realized it was the chapstick she had given her. The door behind her opened as Maki fumbled with the knob, Nobara collapsing back. They shuffled in clumsily, closing the door behind them while still on the floor.
Maki held her close, hands light like shadows as they mapped out Nobara’s cheekbones. “Hey.” She licked into Nobara’s mouth, tongue slick and soft. She choked out a little gasp, hands grasping at Maki’s broad shoulders. Nobara felt like she was burning alive with the heat of Maki’s body against her own.
“Hey.” Nobara whispered back. And they didn’t talk much after that.
“You understand now?” Maki muttered into her mouth, hours later, when the two of them were curled up together in Nobara’s cramped single bed.
Nobara hummed an affirmative, craning her head up to kiss Maki again, her burgeoning addiction howling to be sated. When they broke apart, she gave her usual knife smile, bare and open and challenging. Maki felt cut open to the core, body bared to this fellow sorcerer who came in with a hammer and an energy that had long since faded from other sorcerers she had met. The glasses-wearing sorcerer smiled back, canines sharp in the low light, and the utter want Nobara felt to trace her tongue over the points had her trembling.
She could give in to the want now, so she did. Her hand brushed over the baby hairs on Maki’s nape, teeth nibbling on her bottom lip. Broad hands settled on her waist, possessive and firm, and it sent a shiver down Nobara’s spine. Yes she understood, and hunger was something you could never truly understand, but she knew how to feed it now.
Yes, Nobara understood a lot of things now, but she knew three things by heart. One, Itadori Yuji was a fool, but he strangely knew a lot of good places to take someone on a date. Two, Fishnet stockings could be worn when one was not fighting, but at the risk of being torn off by a possessive girlfriend. And three, said possessive girlfriend Maki Zenin’s arms were twined in muscle, and as such her hugs always felt very, very safe.
Nobara’s heart hammered out a steady beat, nestled close to the one person she wanted to know better than herself.