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Azula stood on the deck of her warship, the tension in her shoulders subsiding with each thick lungful of salty ocean air she sucked down, her gaze fixed on the horizon, no point set in her mind. Behind her, she could hear Tala and Jurik teasing each other gently, Mai sparring with Verin, Ty Lee debating the finer points of acrobatics with Kurna.
She watched Mekle follow Kurna's two adopted daughters, Herta and Rin, a tangle of wet seaweed in his fist as he shook it at them, their laughter loud across the ship's deck. She tilted her head back, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin, her mind untangling at the gentle kiss of warmth, as she basked in sunshine, her fear of her father's repercussions finally fading under the watchful eye of the giver of fire.
***
She bit back a curse, as she looked at the house on Fire Island, Zuko's parting words, I might've set parts of it on fire and broken through the roof, ringing about in her head. She looked across the house's courtyard, spying a pile of fur that must've come from the Avatar's bison, and smothered her sudden smirk at the thought of Team Avatar staying in her father's holiday home.
At her side, Ty Lee looked curiously at the random scrolls strewn throughout the hallway, Mai arching a brow and flipping a piece of glass off of the windowsill with her dagger. Azula sighed, hearing the rest of the ship's crew traipsing up to the house, before she turned to look at them.
"It may need some work," she admitted, smiling half-heartedly at the chuckles. "But, we should have it fixed up in no time."
"We?" Mekle called, a frown on his face.
"Of course," Azula said, throwing the words over her shoulder and turning to head into the house, missing the looks exchanged among the group of them. "I'll do my part just as much as you."
***
She worked and helped and sweat, throwing herself into restoring the house, and then, once the roof was fixed, and everyone had a safe and dry space to sleep, she turned her eyes to redoing the house. She began to find solace in the thud of metal on wood, in the satisfaction that came from seeing a project come together. She still slept poorly, her face and body exhausted clearly still for the most part, but was happier, her eyes filled with contentment as she watched her people settle into living together.
***
As her projects began to wane, she would find herself winding her way down to the private beach close to the house, Mai and Ty Lee her quiet followers. She would begin her firebending exercises, determined to regain the joy she once felt in flames, before they had begun to hurt.
She had decided, once she had finally had the time to think, that she needed to disregard anything her father had taught her, instead, seeking out what little she had gleaned from murmured conversations between Zuko and the Avatar, and what small bit she was able to remember from Iroh teaching her once, years ago.
She centered herself on the beath, breathing deeply, and reaching inward, ignoring the rush of hot-angry-furious flame the surged, and reached deeper, seeking the warm-welcoming-hearthfire flame that slumbered below. She would coax it out, burrowing deep into the warmth, gifting the smoldering embers her joy and contentment, her love for her shipmates, her love for her friends, her hope for the future.
She would sit on the beach, the white sands warm under her, and would tilt her head back, letting the sun hit her face, letting her skin soak in the tiny bits of knowledge to be learned, as she sought to re-teach herself fire. She knew that Zuko and the Avatar had found the last of the dragons, knew that if she wanted, she could set out to learn the same, but, in her tiny quiet hearthfire, she knew she would not take the same joy that they had gained.
She wanted to learn how to grow into her power. She wanted to understand what it was to sink deep within herself and only have comfort and warmth. She wanted, most of all, to expel the pain that still surged within her.
***
Azula lifted her head from Mai's shoulder at the sound of footsteps on the house's front steps, the rest of the chatter at the low dining room table coming to a stop at her motion. She furrowed her brow, casting her gaze across the room, and counting, frowning when she reached the expected number. She sighed, pushing herself up slowly and rose, dipping her head in a slight bow to Kurna, as was her new custom, ignoring the way it flustered her, and turned, heading for the door.
Mai followed her, Ty Lee remaining out of sight, the rest of them falling silent in the dining room, their hands on their weapons, in case it was an attack of some sort.
Azula blinked once at the closed door, tensed her shoulders and pulled the sliding screen to the right, lighting a single flame on her finger to see in the rapidly dimming darkness. Behind her, Mai tensed at the sight of the man standing on the porch, a sorrowful look on his face.
Azula paled, the flame sputtering out until the only sign it had been there was a wisp of smoke spiraling up to the sky.
In front of her, Iroh bowed his head, Azula staring at him.
Mai let out a low snarl and stepped forward, a scowl spreading across her face. "What do you want?" She asked, standing slightly in front of Azula as she reached out and gripped Mai's long sleeves as if she were a child.
"Niece," Iroh said, raising his head, the sorrow only growing on his face as he watched her. "I believe we may need to have a talk."
***
The two walked down to the beach, Mai outrightly refusing to leave them alone, Ty Lee having pressed a gentle kiss to Azula's and Mai's cheeks before staying at the house, Mai's quiet footsteps always a step and a half behind.
When they had left the shelter of the trees, when they had reached the sand that was so warm and welcoming in the sun and so bleak and cool at night, Azula swallowed hard and turned to look at Iroh, her eyes searching his face for a hint of something, anything, to reassure her.
Iroh sighed and cast an eye over her shoulder at Mai's scowling face, before sitting, gesturing for her to join him. Azula followed him down to the ground, crossing her legs and sitting with perfect posture, as Iroh watched her continuously.
The two sat in silence for long moments, the moon steadily climbing in the sky, before Iroh sighed and dipped his head again.
"Niece," he said, raising his head to look her in the eyes. "I wish to offer you my sincerest apologies." Azula watched him with steady amber eyes that glinted in the moonlight but didn’t say anything. Iroh sighed again. "I know that now, I cannot make up for the past," he said. "But I would hope that you would let me recompense."
At her back, Mai laughed, the sharp noise cutting through the air. "You would," she said, her eyes narrowed. "You didn't do anything when it mattered - you - you took him away, and you left her." She stared at him, her words hovering in the air between them. "You left her," Mai repeated, anger in every motion she made, every word she spat at him. "You let a child, a child, take up the burden, and you and your twice-forsaken nephew, left her."
Azula reached out, her eyes never leaving Iroh's face as she gripped Mai's ankle, her words quieting as soon as Azula touched her. Iroh observed the interaction with heavy eyes, breathing slowly as he watched his niece.
"Iroh," Azula said, her voice clear and quiet, her face as smooth as she could make it. "I understand why you have come. I know that you wish to relieve yourself of the burden of the knowledge. I know that when I made my decision, when I chose my path, I would not have listened to you." She waited a moment, her eyes devoid of anger or malice, as she looked at him, and found him wanting. "However," she said, her teeth flashing in the moonlight. "I will not relieve you."
She watched him, as his eyes traced over her face, looking for any absolution he could find. She shook her head, her hair loose around her face as she had come to enjoy, the floating tendrils another sign that she was free. "If you had not lost yourself to your grief, if you had not released your hand from the guiding wheel of our family," she swallowed hard, her eyes leaving his for the first time since they had sat down. "The need for those decisions would have been taken from me."
She sighed, looking back at him. "I do not begrudge the choices made," she said, tucking a lock behind her ear with her free hand, her other one still gripping Mai's ankle. "I simply wish they had not been on the table, to begin with." She let go of Mai and rose, her spine straight as she bowed low to her uncle, her eyes on his. "I trust you'll be able to find your way," she said, waiting for his nod before she straightened up. "Farwell, Iroh," she said, leaving the beach, the words lightly floating over to him as she left him, sitting alone in the cold white sand.
***
Azula shivered as they walked up the pathway towards the house, Mai waiting until they had left Iroh's sight to tuck Azula under her arm. They were silent as they meandered up the steps, the two of them relaxing at the sounds of the rest of their household, at the laughter and the joy that was easily heard ringing throughout the house.
Before they entered the house, Mai tugged her to a stop, sidestepping to stand under the shadowed porch awning, Ty Lee slipping out through the door to join them, curving herself against Azula's other side.
Azula sucked in a deep breath, her breath puffing out in a mix of smoke and steam, her gaze fixed on the stars. Mai and Ty Lee exchanged a look before Mai exhaled shakily, and unwrapped her arm from around her shoulder, gently reaching out to cup Azula's chin.
"I could not- I would not be here," she whispered, her eyes latched onto Azula's. "I would not be safe or warm or- or- loved without you," she brushed her thumbs across Azula's cheekbone and bent her head, pressing a faint kiss against her forehead. "I follow you like to moon follows starlight," she whispered.
Ty Lee continued the saying. "Like the ocean follows the moon."
"Like the earth follows the ocean," Azula finished softly. "Always chasing, always wanting, more, more, more." She tilted her head into Mai's gentle hands, taking solace in her light grip, the feeling enough to keep her grounded. The three of them were silent for a long moment as Ty Lee pressed two quick kisses to each of their cheeks, each of them lost in their thoughts.
Azula shifted, stepping back from Mai's hands, a small smile on her face. She cleared her throat, nodded at the two of them, and darted forward, throwing her arms around them, squeezing as tight as she dared, before she released them just as quickly and spun, slipping through the open door without a sound.