Chapter Text
It was 7:45. Just a little over half an hour to go until first period. Arin was sweating already. He stood at his locker and fidgeted with the letter in his grasp. He had torn up what seemed like hundreds of them over the weekend, trying to get all of his feelings out onto this one sheet of paper.
It was so hard to put down everything he felt about the lanky boy that he was forced to see every day at school. That infectious laugh that Arin wished that he could make happen. Those bright, chocolate brown eyes that sparkled with a boundless energy. Just seeing Dan at school everyday made his worst feelings disappear.
He shut his locker and slipped the letter into his bag. Trudging to class, he picked his spot in the back, furthest from the door so he could see everyone coming into class. There was the gaggle of girls who were obsessed with makeup and all of the guys on the football team. There were the geeky guys who shuffled to the back with him and all got top marks. There were the jocks and their cohorts.
And then, like a breath of fresh air, there he was, standing in the doorway, looking for an empty desk. There were only a few left and Dan looked around, pushing that mop of curly hair out of his eyes, those dark brown gems scanning the room. Arin tried not to look. Tried not to get the full brunt of that piercing gaze. Dan shuffled in his sneakers towards the back.
'Please, no. Please. Don't sit next to me...I won't be able to focus. I mean, I can't focus well anyway, but with you next to me...Please...' Arin prayed to whatever was living above them in the clouds. Arin looked down at his textbook, beet red.
"Hey. Is this seat taken?" Dan's voice washed over him like a tidal wave, drenching him in that sweet, slightly shy voice.
"Oh, uh, no." Arin couldn't look up. He had only ever observed the other boy from a safe distance. Now that he was less than two feet away, talking to Arin, he thought that his heartbeat could be heard pounding through his ribs by everyone in the same postal code.
Dan gingerly took the seat next to him. He reached into his bookbag and took out his notebook. Arin was fake-reading about...what was the topic, the French Revolution? He was trying his best not to look at Dan while he took out his notes, a pen, a pencil, an eraser. He stole a glance when Dan took a long swig from the water bottle in his bag.
Arin was transfixed by Dan's throat, that Adam's apple bobbing, as he drank gratefully. Dan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He offered a swig to Arin who declined as un-awkwardly as he could. He still couldn't look Dan in the eye. Dan put the water bottle back and opened his notebook. Arin couldn't help it. He snuck a peek at the other boy's notes.
His handwriting was immaculate, perfectly proportioned, slim delicate letters, just like the boy who wrote them. Arin had to stop thinking like that. But he couldn't help it. He thought Dan was undeniably perfect.
Class ended without incident and Arin was kicking himself for not slipping the note in Dan's bag when he had the chance. But how could he? It was a part of him. Once the deed was done, there was no getting it back. No take-backs. His secret would be out in the open. And if that happened, he thought he might just die.
After first period History, there was English, Math, Lunch, then P.E., Art and finally Science. Arin liked most of his classes, but he was the worst at Science. The only saving grace of that class was that he got to see Dan again before school was over. He had to suck it up and slip him the note in this period or he would regret it for the rest of his life. Or was it that he'd regret it once he had done it. Arin didn't know anymore.
He was sitting in the back of the class again and Dan was one of the last students to make it through the door. There was yet again an open seat next to Arin. He swallowed hard and was half-hoping that Dan would sit anywhere else. He couldn't take the pressure of sitting next to his crush for another agonizing 30 minutes.
But Dan seemed drawn to Arin's sphere of influence just like this morning in History and took the seat next to the gamer. Arin took a deep breath. He fished the note out of his bag and nearly crushed it in nervous fingers. He could feel his heart beating in his chest like a piston. Dan took a moment to lean over to the girl next to him and ask to borrow her notes since he wasn't there yesterday.
Arin bit his lip and leaned over, slipping the note into Dan's bag, hopefully somewhere where he would see it. There was no going back now. For the rest of the period, Arin's mind was eating itself. What if he doesn't notice it? What if he reads it and says no. What if he reads it and gets offended? What if he reads it and says yes!? Arin was fidgeting for the rest of the period.
When the bell rang he was out of his seat in a flash. He thought that he heard Dan say bye to him, but he was too shy to look. Too nervous to even acknowledge the other boy. All he wanted was to go home. To be in his room, with his games and his music. He wanted all of this romance business to be over. The anticipation was making him sick to his stomach.