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You giggled at the sappy and romantic thing Jaskier had just whispered in your ear. He joined your giggling, much to Geralt’s exasperation. Even as the witcher walked ahead and faced his back to you, you could almost see him rolling his eyes.
“Not much further now, love” The bard happily told you as he took your hand in his.
You opened your mouth, about to finally ask where you were going. However, a vexed sound coming from the witcher, a mixture between an exasperated grunt and a sigh, interrupted you.
“Are you fucking serious, Jaskier?” When you both turned to glance at him, Geralt had stopped walking. “This was the emergency?”
“Ssh!!” The bard urged him, not letting go of your hand as he leaned towards his friend. “You’ll ruin the surprise!”
“A surprise?” You repeated, gladly following after him. “For me?”
“Why, of course” Jaskier grinned, softly urging you as he guided you towards his goal.
Excited and impatient, you wondered what the surprise could be. Upon glancing around you, all you could see was nature. At the moment tall green grass and weeds were growing around you, reaching your knees and becoming thicker as you immersed into the field until it reached your hips.
The ground tilted up in a slight slope that blocked the sight before you, only letting you see the distant glow of the bright sun as it slowly sunk on the line of the horizon. As soon as Jaskier pulled at your hand to rush you over the slope, you gasped and stopped at the view before you.
“And here it is!” The bard announced, holding his arms up dramatically even as he clutched your hand in his still. “The most beautiful field for the most beautiful person”
You chuckled in disbelief at the unadulterated beauty in front of you. He was right, you had never seen such a beautiful field. The sun warmly shined down on the hundreds, nearly thousands of flowers, that seemed to showcase a gradient of vibrant colors. Red, blue, purple, yellow, orange… the entire rainbow seemed to have fallen onto the field and seeped into their petals. The sunset and the gentle wind swaying the flowers only added on to the stunning view.
“Do you like it, darling?” Jaskier asked you, intently watching you with a smile on his face.
“I love it” You were so taken aback by it that you barely responded when he kissed you in the cheek.
As you returned to the tavern, the ghost of his lips softly burned on your skin. Just as the excitement died down, and with it the tingling in your stomach at the thoughtful gesture, that same feeling returned when you remember how he had kissed your cheek. So fondly, so lovingly, so calmly.
And so you smiled, appreciating that not only Jaskier reciprocated your romantic feelings, but that he was willing to go the extra mile to save the small distance that your shyness put on the relationship. And so things were absolutely perfect.
_
The tavern was loud and crowded, but Jaskier only saw that as an excuse to sit closer to you when he talked in order to, allegedly, make himself heard over the ruckus.
Geralt, fed up with your blatant and continuous displays of affection, had resolved to completely ignore the two of you. He just pretended you were invisible and idly drank from his ale as he sat across from both, deliberately averting his gaze.
“Enough of me talking, love” Jaskier wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him until your sides were pressed together. “How are you feeling?”
He must have noticed you giggled more than usual, or that your blush was more than just the flush caused by his sweet compliments and flirtatious comments. You did avert your gaze, too overwhelmed at the moment.
“Flustered” You replied, putting your drink down and refusing to take another sip.
“Is it the ale or is it me?”
“Both”
The two of you giggled, snuggling closer. Jaskier kissed your head when you nuzzled his neck, looking for affection and stability. The ale had surely made an effect on you, as it made you slightly dizzy and warm.
“Would you like to go out for a romantic walk under the moonlight?” Jaskier gently pinched your side. “It would clear your head”
“I’m going too” Geralt said, much to your surprise, since it was the first time he showed he could even hear you. “But no romantic shit, you two”
Coyly pushing Jaskier away, you stood up and moved slowly. Your mind felt sluggish as you followed the witcher and the bard through the tavern, reaching the door and walking out into the night.
The cool air immediately refreshed your hot skin and cleared your mind. Your legs felt clumsy and made you wobble, aided by the fuzziness in your brain, but the more steps you took, the better you felt. Besides, Jaskier had taken your hand and put it over his arm to support you. Ever the gentleman, always looking after you.
_
After more than an hour walking, your mind felt much clearer. The effect of the ale had passed and Jaskier seemed too tired and drowsy to fluster you with his usual playfulness.
Geralt walked behind you, moving in a thoughtful manner as he enjoyed the calmness like you two weren’t even there. However, when you looked at him over your shoulder, his amber eyes fell over you and you could have sworn you saw the corner of his lips twitching upwards.
“Ah, what a lovely night” Jaskier groggily said, heaving a sigh. “I could… I could walk around until dawn breaks, but we should return and get some sleep. For… for Y/N, you know”
Geralt hummed in amusement to the bard’s obvious exhaustion. His excuse hadn’t been too convincing, but you were definitely tired too. It had been a wonderful day, although it had a lot of walking and activity.
“Give me one moment” You grinned, pointing up ahead to the small lake up ahead.
“Good idea” Jaskier sleepily followed after you, stifling a yawn. “That’ll give Geralt a chance to sober up too”
You laughed and shook your head, wading into the lake and enjoying the refreshing feeling of the cool water around your ankles. Just when you were leaning down to splash some of it on your face, you could have sworn something moved.
Uneasy, you carefully observed the water, frozen in your leaning down position. The moonlight was reflected in the surface, which still lightly waved with your movement even after you had stilled. Was something lurking there?
“Jask-” Before you could even call him, something clutched your wrist and tugged at it.
Your screamed at the top of your lungs, splashing water everywhere as an unknown force pulled you under. The world became muffled when your ears felt the pressure of the water. Distant voices screamed as you were slowly dragged away, but you didn’t dare to look behind to see what was pulling you.
Then, just when you thought you were a goner, a hand urgently held on to you. Recognizing Jaskier’s touch, you took a deep breath, only being able to swallow water.
As soon as you were pulled back to the surface, you deeply breathed in, this time air instead of water. Your whole body trembled, both from the temperature and the scare, as you scrambled closer to Jaskier and clung on to his shoulders.
“Out of the way!” Geralt’s voice ordered, and you felt Jaskier wrap an arm around you and move you to the side.
It was then when you saw what happened. A grotesque looking creature had emerged from the depths of the water. Its skin was a strange shade of green that shone under the moonlight like fish scales. It was charging back at you, but one of the witcher’s signs pushed it away from you.
“What is that?!” You exclaimed, cowering into Jaskier’s chest.
“A drowner” Geralt absently replied, drawing his sword out and running to it. “Now run!!”
But the drowner was intent on taking you. Running at top speed, it charged against you with so much force that it pulled both you and Jaskier to the water. The bard was already moving to help you, but the creature had tightly grasped you again and kept you under once more.
You fought for your life, thrashing and scratching and screaming and blindly punching. Seeing the water turn crimson. Swallowing water. Feeling your lungs overflow. The life being drained out of you.
Just as you closed your eyes and succumbed to unconsciousness, a sword slashed through the drowner. The creature shrieked and finally let go of you. As it escaped, you stood under the surface until Jaskier hurriedly pulled you out.
“Geralt!” He begged, cradling your unconscious frame. “Help! Y/N... is… is… is Y/N…?”
“Y/N will be fine” The witcher sternly assured, refusing to believe otherwise. Clenching his jaw and willing that thought into existence.
Proving that destiny agreed with Geralt, you stirred and groaned at that very moment. Jaskier attentively observed you with tears in his eyes, lifting his shaky hands to gingerly hold your face in them.
“What did that thing do to you…?” He whispered, fighting the tears as he watched you.
The drenched hair stuck to your skin and covered your face, even as he gingerly brushed it away from your closed eyes. Once the hair was out of the way, the bard saw the bloody marks the drowner had made all over your face. Those deep scratches pouring blood were also all over yours arms and neck, but the worst one was along your cheek. It would leave a mark.
Trembling as he peered up at Geralt, Jaskier gave him a pleading look, silently asking him to say any comforting words, to use any sort of potions or witcher remedies to magically heal you and wake you up. But Geralt only stared at you, brow furrowed in concern as he refused to meet eyes with his friend.
“Let’s take Y/N back” The witcher muttered, saving his sword and carefully scooping you into his arms.
_
The encounter with the drowner left you weak for several days. Feverish from the blood loss and the shock, you were bed-ridden through it all even as you slept through most of it. You were too sluggish to register the rest.
Geralt couldn’t stand still. He paced when the healer arrived, he kept leaning down to your bed to check on you, or exiting and entering the room after he went out for a restless walk or looked for any remedies that might help you in your recovery or heal the scar in your cheek.
Jaskier, on the other hand, hadn’t left your side. He cradled your hand in his and tightly squeezed it in the hopes that it would infuse you with life and make everything better. He blamed himself, for not having seen the drowner before, for suggesting to go for a walk in the middle of the night. He felt guilty of putting you in danger and not being able to help you more. At least, he thanked the heavens for letting Geralt be there with you, because he might have saved your life.
Nonetheless, the bard couldn’t help thinking about the many dangers you were constantly in when traveling with them. You wouldn’t have been attacked by that drowner if you haven’t gone out in the middle of the night like he suggested. Not only that, but witchers faced many perils far worse than drowners. And because of it, you were rendered in that state.
It had been torturous enough having to wait for the healer to arrive and then to treat you, but it was just as awful to sit by your bedside and waiting for you to wake up while he ate his head. Worst of all was, when you sometimes awoke, it was just to mutter some nonsense and go back to sleep while your body fought the wounds, the trauma and the fever.
On the third day, and after you had finally been lucid enough to hold a conversation with them, the witcher and the bard had looked after you. They were quieter than usual, even Geralt, and it felt like they were holding back things that they didn’t want to say in front of you. Like they had talked behind your back in fear of your state.
It wasn’t until you woke up after resting for a few more hours that you caught Jaskier exiting the room for the first time. Taken aback by this, which was the culmination of a strange distant demeanor from him, you called his name.
“Jaskier?” You mumbled, fighting the sleep as you sat up in the bed.
His hand had already settled on the doorknob, but he paused and looked over his shoulder to you. Jaskier sighed. His eyes, ridden with dark circles under them, looked away from you.
“I thought you were asleep” Was all he said, slowly facing you now.
“Where are you going?” You asked him, staring at him in the hopes that he would reciprocate. “And where’s Geralt?”
Jaskier continued to move slowly, approaching you and stopping a few steps away from your bed. Almost like he was scared that he would infect you with some sort of disease. His demeanor made you feel strange. He refused to meet your gaze still, and he absently played with the hem of his doublet.
“Well… we’re leaving” He paused for several seconds, suddenly making you aware of the heavy silence of the room. “Right now”
“I… I don’t feel well enough to travel, can’t we just wait until-?”
“No” Jaskier’s stern tone interrupted you. “Geralt and I”
“What… what about me?”
Jaskier averted his gaze. His jaw clenched as though he was making a great effort to conceal his thoughts.
“You’re leaving me…” A horrible realization fell over you. They were about to abandon you without saying goodbye, hadn’t you caught him. “Why, Jaskier? W-Why are you doing this?”
He didn’t answer. Jaskier’s brow furrowed and his eyes filled with unshed tears. He seemed to be fighting them with all of his might.
“Answer me, Jaskier” You cried out, fighting tears of your own. “I deserve to know!”
“Because you almost died!” He sobbed, making an effort to look into your eyes. “It’s too dangerous to be with us, and we can’t bear that thought of you getting hurt. I… I just can’t take the idea of losing you, of the world losing you, Y/N”
You gaped at him, not knowing what to say. What were you supposed to reply? What could you possibly say to make them stay, since they seemed so convinced? Geralt was already nowhere to be seen, and Jaskier was about to follow on his footsteps.
“But you should stay…”
“We can’t”
“Please, Jaskier…”
“No, Y/N”
“I should be with you… You and Geralt have changed my life”
“Yes, for the worst”
“That’s not true…”
“It is so…” Jaskier sniffed through his nose, fixing his eyes on the wall. “Besides, Geralt has already made up his mind”
“Then stay with me?” You begged, reaching out to hold his hand. He moved it away from your reach. “Just you”
“No…” He shook his head, but paused again to take a deep breath and compose himself. “They know I’m Geralt’s friend, I will still put you in danger”
“They?”
“Drowners aren’t the only thing that could hurt you”
“But…”
“Witchers have enemies, Y/N!”
“Jaskier…”
His desperate tone, raising in volume, made you lose all hope. They had made a decision, and judging by the way he still refused to lock eyes, you knew Jaskier was adamant on going through with it as much as the witcher was.
“Please…” You tried one last time, although a shaking sob broke your voice.
“There is no other way, love...” Jaskier bit his bottom lip, which you realized was trembling. “I’m so sorry”
A weight, cold and heavy like lead, settled in your stomach. You tried to swallow, but a lump had formed in your throat as well. The tears that blurred your vision made that lump hurt as you watched the bard.
Jaskier made to leave, but he stopped walking as thought you two were joined by an invisible thread of destiny and made it impossible to walk away. It connected you in that wonderful way that was the closest you had seen to a magic far beyond that of a witcher or a mage.
“I… I just want you to know…” He began saying, although still facing his back to you. His shoulders were tense, and his hands were shaking.
“What?” You encouraged him, knowing this was your last chance.
“I want you to know” He tried again, turning around to face you. He allowed himself to take your hand one last time as he spoke his farewell. “That it breaks my heart to leave your side, Y/N, it truly does. But now that you’re healthy again, know that I love you enough to be away from you if that means you’ll be safe without us”
“Don’t do this…”
“I hope our paths will cross soon, even if fleetingly”
“Jaskier…”
He meant to continue talking, but a treacherous sob broke his voice. The bard took a deep breath, lifting your hand to his lips and holding it with urgent tenderness. You peered at him in silent plea, even if you knew it was for naught.
Then, taking you by surprise, Jaskier pressed his free hand against your cheek and pecked you on the lips. The kiss was sweet and melancholic, and certainly too short, especially knowing there would be no more.
“You’re my heart, darling” He kissed your knuckles, lingering on the touch and closing his eyes with the utmost adoration as he passionately pressed his lips against your skin. “And as long as you’re safe, it will be okay, even if I’m not by your side”
His words moved you to the core, but as much as they had warmed your heart, it still felt empty. He was your heart too, and he was leaving. Jaskier and Geralt had become so important to you, how were you to live without them now?
The question lingered in the air, sticking with Jaskier as he struggled with leaving the room. With a last sigh of sorrow, he opened the door. When it closed, filling the room with that dreaded and deafening silence, the question continued haunting you. Now there was nowhere with you to answer it. You were alone.