Work Text:
“You know,” Will started, shifting uncomfortably in the chair he was tied to as he cast his gaze around the dank, cavernous room he was being held in, “you really need to stop taking your kidnapping cues from television and movies.”
His kidnapper, who had yet to identify herself in some overly dramatic, exposition-filled monologue, frowned deeply, her hateful green eyes boring right through him. “Oh, and I suppose you’re the expert.” She snapped sarcastically.
“Yes, actually, I am. On both sides of this scenario, so trust me when I tell you, you’re doing this all wrong.”
She paused, taken aback, her gaze morphing from hateful to assessing. She had pegged him as more the type to hire kidnappers, so as not to get his perfectly manicured and moisturized hands dirty. It was certainly what his reputation had led her and the rest of the city to believe. Still, it wasn’t often someone of Will Blackwater’s caliber decided to wax philosophical on the art of criminality, and given their current dynamic, she was somewhat morbidly amused about his take on things. “Okay then, smartass, enlighten me. If you were me and I were you, what would you be doing differently?”
Will managed a shrug, despite the ropes tugging against his suit and limiting his motions. “If I were you, first things first, I wouldn’t have spent my money having Raiden tech grafted to my skeleton. I would have used it to buy a decent meal for once.”
The woman was ghastly tall and thin, her lanky frame only highlighting how frail she looked. Granted, she was nowhere near as tall as he was, but she was still too tall to be walking around looking like a bundle of sticks wrapped in a sallow skin suit. He’d witnessed people in North Korean prison camps that had more meat on their bones than she did. Her red hair was short and stringy, and Will, upon first seeing her, had the impression she’d lost a fight with a garbage disposal posing as a hairdresser. The cut was uneven, patchy in places, as though she had a tendency to rip her hair out in stress or anger.
The angry, still-healing wounds from her Raiden surgery weren't do her any favors, either. Everything about her just reeked of naked desperation. The only thing truly startling about her was her eyes, a brilliant emerald green that he thought might have been pretty, if the only expression he’d seen on her face (up until she’d started giving him a once over) hadn’t been one of pure insanity.
“The second thing I would do,” He continued over her squawk of outrage at being called too skinny, “after having my delicious, well-prepared meal, and of course assuming I still had kidnapping on my mind, would be the exact opposite of what you did.”
Her hand shot out with frightening celerity (so quick Will only saw a blur) and punched the wall just behind his head, cratering the cement. He flinched only because he hadn’t been expecting it, not because he was actually afraid. She was crazy, not lethal, as her idiotic kidnapping scheme had proven.
She tipped her head to the side, face taking on another new expression: sardonic consideration. “All right, let’s hear it. Despite the fact that you’re tied to that chair and I’m not, I wanna hear how badly you think I screwed the pooch.”
Will fixed his gaze on hers, lips turning up in a playful yet dangerous facsimile of smile. He relished any chance he got to extol far and wide his brilliance to others, while at the same time, pontificating about how stupid everyone else was. It was one of his few vices that didn’t involve punishing his liver. “Normally, I have a drink in my hand when I expound on the stunning retardations of those who make the mistake of messing with me and mine, but I don’t suppose that a) you have any alcohol around, or b) you’d free my hand to let me drink.”
“No, and fuck no.” She pulled her hand away from the wall, chunks of cement scattering to the floor. She hovered over him menacingly, crossing her stick-like arms over her nearly concave chest.
If things had played out a little differently, Will might have taken pity on her and offered her a job, something that would pay well enough to allow her to eat and wash her hair more than once in a blue moon. That was Zoey’s influence on him talking. She liked to help people, taking on special cases, like a woman who fed the feral strays in her neighborhood and didn’t mind when they literally bit the hand that fed them.
Dexter Tilley was a prime example.
As things stood, however, this woman was beyond salvation in his book. The best she could hope for now was a quick, semi-painless death.
“Well,” Will said, “it never hurts to ask. So, shall I start at the beginning?”
“By all means.”
Will quickly escorted Zoey out of his house, one hand on her back as he shut the door behind them, the lock engaging loudly. Down the driveway, they could see the large black SUV waiting for them. The windows were tinted, preventing anyone from seeing inside, but they both knew the whole crew was inside, Wu at the wheel, Echo in the passenger seat, Budd and Andre back in the third row, waiting for them to get in.
“They’re going to know.” Zoey murmured, despite the fact that no one in the car would possibly hear her.
“Do you honestly care?” Will asked.
She lifted her shoulders in a casual shrug. “No... kinda. I care if they make fun of us.”
Will smoothed his hand over the small of her back. “They’re our friends, they always make fun of us. How many times have you accused Echo of resembling a burning bag of dog shit someone left on your front stoop?”
“Just today or throughout all time?”
He arched a brow, lips curling upward in a half-smile.
“I dunno, sometimes I don’t mind and other times...”
Fifteen minutes previous, they’d been inside, going at it like dogs in heat. Normally, when they had a prior engagement they needed to be ready for, Will was adamant about keeping to their schedule and refused to let himself be distracted.
If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late, and if you’re late, well...
The saying was especially salient, given how many times this particular meeting had been postponed and rescheduled, but it went out the window when Zoey had dropped down on her knees in front of him, pulling his trousers down to begin sucking him off. With rational thought gone right down the drain, Will had said nothing, choosing instead to bury his hands in her hair, holding her steady as he thrust into her hot, hungry mouth.
It had only devolved from there, from Zoey on the couch with Will’s head between her thighs, to him leaning back against the headboard of their bed, Zoey riding him like he was her prized stallion. Both their phones had dinged with messages, the Suits informing them they were outside waiting, but Zoey stifled Will’s protests by stuffing a boob in his mouth. Properly stifled, he’d still decided it was best to move things along, settling his hands on her hips to guide her motions, faster and harder until she was screaming atop him.
The woman held a hand up to pointedly cut Will off. “When I said start at the beginning, I didn’t mean the beginning of your day. Jesus, how is me hearing about you porking your girlfriend relevant to all this?”
“It’s relevant to the overall story. Trust me, it will all make sense, if you’d allow me to finish.”
“I think you already finished, all over your girlfriend.”
Will shook his head. “No, we haven’t gotten to that part yet. At any rate, as I was saying...”
After that, it had only taken a few moments to roll her over, Will pounding into her wildly as he sought his own release, Zoey moaning curses into his neck, clutching onto him for dear life.
As much as he’d wanted to bask in the afterglow, their phones continued to ding incessantly, the others getting impatient. They’d rushed out of bed, cleaning themselves up as quickly as they could before redressing and hopping out the door.
“You could always remind them that they work for you and any teasing would result in you firing them.” Will offered.
Zoey snorted indelicately. “I tried that, remember? When we caught Andre banging my new horticulturalist in the tool shed, after he made me fire the last one? He showed up the next day like nothing had happened. And he smelled like pesticide for a week afterward.”
“I wouldn’t have fired him for that.” Will said as they approached the SUV. “I would have fired him for insisting we rename the tool shed the Massive Tool Shed.”
“He doesn’t have a massive tool, he is a massive tool.” Zoey said loudly as Will opened the back door, so Andre would hear her.
“Oh shit,” Andre boomed excitedly from the backseat, “are we reconsidering naming that shed after me?”
Zoey climbed inside, throwing him a look over her shoulder as she moved to sit down in the captain’s chair behind the driver’s seat. “No, I’m reconsidering burying you underneath it. If my talking toilet ever breaks, at least I’d have a place to take a dump.”
Echo craned her head around to glance back at them. “Don’t let Zoey fool you, Andre, she’s just trying to distract you from the fact that she and Will are late because they were too busy fucking to be ready on time.”
Zoey sighed and buckled her seatbelt. “That’s it, you’re all fired. If you could go ahead and find and train your replacements before the end of the week, I’d really appreciate it.”
Wu pulled out of the driveway out onto the road, taking them downtown.
Budd sat forward until he was leaning over Zoey’s seat. “You know when you say us all, that means Will, too.” He looked at Will. “When was the last time you were ever unemployed? Do you even know how to go through a job interview anymore?”
Will placed his whole hand over Budd’s face, gently pushing him backward. “I was unemployed over five years ago, we all were, when Zoey fired us the first time around.”
“God, what is it with my firings not sticking?” Zoey asked in a petulant tone. “Can’t you people just take the hint?”
Andre laughed. “If we did, I’m pretty sure Will would be jerking it to old war memories and reminiscing about that one time he met Arthur’s long lost daughter before she was turned into a red smear by Molech, instead of, y’know, giving you the business when we’re supposed to be meeting with some big muckety-mucks.”
“Yeah,” Echo chimed in, “and you’d be dead, not trying to get pregnant.”
Zoey’s eyes went wide, face burning bright red. “Christ, Echo, that was supposed to be a secret!” She explained, absolutely gobsmacked at her betrayal.
Echo blinked and grimaced. “Oh. Was it?”
“Yes! That’s why I specifically said don’t tell anyone!”
Echo flashed her a watery smile. “Oops.”
“So...” Andre started. “You’re saying I’m not supposed to have already bought a onesie that says I Love Titties on it? Cause if not, then I didn’t.”
Mortified, Zoey covered her face with her hands, muttering under her breath about how much she just wanted to curl up and die.
Will reached over across the gap between the second-row captain’s chairs to place a hand on her shoulder, trying to leech some strength into her. He wasn’t too pleased that Echo had spilled the beans on them, nor was he pleased that Zoey had told Echo in the first place. Though the two of them were friends and Echo had become a confidant for her, his main concern was taking care of Zoey. He could take care of Echo later...
He could sense where Zoey’s thoughts were going, probably wishing she could melt into a puddle and disappear forever. Zoey leaned toward total isolation when embarrassed, and he was not about to let her retreat in on herself.
“It’s going to be okay. They were going to find out one way or another.”
Echo nodded her head emphatically. “Exactly. You said don’t tell anyone but we’re not anyone. We have to be prepared for something like a kid, and I thought it was better than having you two drop a bomb on us in the maternity ward or something.” She reached back, stretching her arm out to place her hand on Zoey’s knee. “Honestly, I had the best intentions in mind.”
Zoey uncovered her face to look at Echo. “Yeah, well, you know what they say about intentions and roads to hell.”
“I’m sorry.” Echo said sincerely. “I just... I was excited for you both and... there’s no excuse. If you want to fire me for real, I’ll understand.”
“No, no, it’s fine.” Zoey slumped back in her seat. “If anyone’s getting fired, it’s still Andre, for being a man-whore.”
“Hey!”
Zoey rolled her eyes. “Besides, it’s not like it’s actually gonna happen. We’ve been trying for months and-”
“Goddamn!” Andre barked, forgetting to be upset about being called a whore. “You guys are always screwing and still nothing?!”
Echo flashed Zoey and Will an apologetic look. “I... didn’t mention that part.”
Andre wrapped his hands around the back of Will’s seat to lurch himself forward, their faces almost touching. “Are your swimmers broken, Will?”
Will frowned at the insinuation. “My swimmers, as you say, are just fine.” He replied with a murderous glare. It had been a concern, given that he was in his forties, but the expensive doctors they’d been to see assured them it wasn’t the case, that they’d both been perfectly healthy.
“Are you sure? Cause you’re old as dirt and drink like a suicidal alcoholic.”
He groaned, running his free hand through his hair. “No, I’m fine. Zoey was on birth control shots for years, so we’ve been told it can take time after going off it before we see any results.”
“Oh, yeah,” Zoey said morosely, “blame it all on me.”
Will wanted to kick the back of Echo’s seat so hard that her face smashed against the dashboard for the course of their current conversation and Zoey’s misery, but there was no putting the toothpaste back in the tube, and no point in fruitless, petty revenge. “I’m not blaming you, Zoey, or the fact that you used birth control. Family planning is an important tool in any woman’s arsenal and if you being safe means we have to wait, then I’m glad for it.”
Zoey turned to glare at him. “I’m sure you think you’re being supportive but I’m also sure you just implied you’re glad I didn’t end up shooting out a litter of kids like all the other trailer trash bimbos.”
She was upset, embarrassed, and ashamed, which meant she was lashing out, wanting to be angry at someone other than herself. Will was familiar with this particular self-defense mechanism. He could try to logic his way out of it and risk making her angrier or he could make himself a target, letting Zoey spend her anger against him until she’d worn herself out, allowing her to see the logic on her own once her ire had dissipated.
Will shot Echo a knowing look. Cover me, I’m going in.
“Yes, I’m the inconsiderate asshole for being glad you were intelligent enough not to have four kids with three different fathers. How dare I be so supportive of the fact that you didn’t end up like your mother.”
The woman made a face, features scrunching together in sympathetic anguish. “Ouch. Dude, never ever compare a woman to her mother. That’s like, Boyfriend 101.”
Will stared at her like she was an especially deficient child. “No shit. But as I said, it was a tactical maneuver. I know how Zoey gets, and sometimes it’s better to just have the fight instead of being pragmatic. She comes to the conclusion on her own much better than having me, or anyone else, beat her over the head with it. Besides, the makeup sex is well worth the price of admission for her emotional outbursts.”
She unfolded her bony arms to place her hands on her equally bony hips. “If you don’t mind me asking... if you’re this big, cold calculating bastard and she’s a hormonal time bomb, how the hell are you two an item? I remember all the gossip when you got together, but no way it’s a case of opposites attract.”
Will gave her a deadpan look. “First you tell me you didn’t want me to start at the beginning of my day, but now you want to know the genesis of my relationship? Make up your mind, so I can finish explaining just how badly you suck at the evil mastermind game, because we’re getting to the good part.”
“Okay, just the short version then. How are you and her a thing?”
“Because we do have a lot in common. Harsh upbringings, perseverance through the absolute dumpster fires that were our young lives, and the desire to leave behind a better world than the ones we were brought into. Plus, I find her incredibly attractive.”
The woman laughed at him heartlessly. “Lemme guess, a great personality to make up for all her shortcomings. Get it, cause she’s so short.”
It was Will’s turn to make with the hateful glares. “Neither of us have great personalities, as again, dumpster fire upbringings. Just ask my friends, they would all agree that I am the worst possible result of an orgasm, but we make do with what we’re given. And for your information, bitch, my attraction to Zoey is physical, as well as emotional.”
“Whatever, you said you were getting to the good part, so get to it before I puke listening to your lovesick bullshit.”
Zoey’s face burned hot with rage, livid beyond comprehension, but before she could tear his asshole a new asshole, she was cut off by the blaring of the proximity alert mere seconds before the SUV filled with the scream of metal on metal.
They all shouted in panic when the roof was torn open, as easily as though it were a can of sardines. Sunlight spilled in, blocked only by a thin form.
“Payback time, skank!”
Wu immediately slammed on the brakes, the SUV jerking forward sharply enough to send the form tumbling over the hood onto the street. Traffic around them came to a screeching halt. The hum of emergency drones and chattering voices swelled, everyone climbing out of their cars to see what had happened, Blink cameras at the ready.
“BYSTANDERS IN PROXIMITY- AWAITING COUNTERMEASURE AUTHORIZATION.” The SUV blared.
“Is everyone okay?” Wu asked over the warning, glancing at them all through the rearview mirror.
The form that had been thrown ass over teakettle suddenly leapt up, scratched and bleeding but otherwise no worse for wear. An emaciated woman with madness in her eyes glared back at them.
“Holy shit!” Budd shouted. “Run her crazy ass over!”
Before the words had even left his mouth, the form blurred, too fast for their eyes to track. A fist slammed into the front end, caving in the engine compartment. The passenger door on Will’s side was suddenly ripped open, the woman now grinning insanely at them. It had all happened in less than twenty seconds.
“BYSTANDERS IN PROXIMITY- AWAITING COUNTERMEASURE AUTHORIZATION.”
Will turned, throwing out his arms to brace himself on his and Echo’s seat to block the woman from Zoey.
“You took something from me, little piggy, now it’s time I take something from you!” Her wide eyes went to Will. “And I think your boy toy will do quite nicely.”
A dagger flew at her head, courtesy of Wu, but she deftly caught it, fingers plucking it from the air with ease. There were fresh scars up and down her arms, telltale signs of grafting on her skin. If her strength and speed weren’t the dead giveaway, the scars sealed the deal.
“Now would be a fantastic time to do something about this, Ms. Ashe.” Will said, watching the woman dangle the blade between her fingers like it was a dirty diaper before she returned it to Wu, hurling it back at him with an angry grunt.
The dagger embedded itself in Wu’s arm. He let out a pained yelp of surprise, hand flying up to wrap around the grip. Echo scrambled over the center console to keep him from pulling it out.
“Now, Zoey!”
Not needing to be told a third time, Zoey touched her augmentation-control necklace and issued the command to override the Raiden tech. “Stop!”
The woman’s grin became madder, if that was even possible. “Bzzt, wrong, try again!” She paused with dramatic effect, motioning with her hand for Zoey to try stopping her. “Go on, I’ll wait.”
“Uh... please stop?”
She doubled over, cackling maniacally, grasping the side of the mangled SUV frame to hold herself upright. “Fucking hell, they told me you were stupid but goddamn! Normally, girls have to be a lot prettier to be that dumb!” With her free hand, she pointed at all the Suits. “If you guys take orders from this one, then you’re just as dumb as she is. Which makes me wonder how the shit you all control this damn town. But they don’t pay me to ask questions, they pay me for results, so...”
“SUV, activate-”
The woman’s hand shot into the SUV, grabbing Will by the collar of his shirt to drag him out. His seatbelt prevented him from being taken, however, the woman barely getting him out of his seat. Will groaned as the straps strained against his chest and hips but grit his teeth as he struggled against her hold.
“Aw, c’mon!” She shouted in frustration. She yanked on Will harder, snapping the seatbelt with sheer strength alone. “Hah! Gotcha this time, knuckle fucker!”
For a brief moment, Will felt Zoey’s hands scrabbling for purchase on his back before he was fifty yards away from the SUV. He could see Wu and Echo’s dumbfounded faces through the windshield, dumbfounded by what had just unfolded, at what they were now seeing, the emaciated woman holding him up by his collar in the middle of the street, Will was implacably calm, refusing to fight against her.
The crowd of onlookers ooh’d and aah’d, shuffling around to get the best angle for Blink. With the emergency drones hovering overhead, Will was certain if they’d been closer to downtown Tabula Ra$a, he’d see his own face broadcast on the skyline, the breaking story of the morning.
“When I’m done playing with your toy,” the woman shouted, “I’ll let you know where you can pick up the pieces! I’ll only be a few hours, I swear!”
Will was treated to the singular experience of moving as fast as a souped-up sports car while being dangled precariously by his suit, the wind whipping around his head. Her enhancements had not just been for strength but for speed, beyond anything they had come across before.
It was only ten AM, but it was certainly shaping up to be an interesting day.
“And then you knocked me out cold before bringing me to...” Will glanced around, taking in the size, shape, and composition of the building, as well as the lingering odor of molasses, “the old distillery.” No wonder he’d been itching for a drink. “Shame this place went under, they made excellent whiskey. But unfortunately, the markets being what they are...” He decided not to go into the real reason they’d gone under, as they were having so much fun and he didn’t want to bore the woman with politics.
“Uh-huh, I’m sure that story would get the co-eds in economics classes wet, but let’s move past that. I’m waiting to hear your point-by-point breakdown of my successful kidnapping. Oh, wait!” She darted into the adjoining room and came back a few moments later with a large metal crate. Setting it down in front of Will, she took a seat, crossing her legs with surprising grace. “Okay, go. And please, don’t spare my feelings. It’s not like I couldn’t crush you like a bug if you piss me off.”
“As I said, never take advice from anything from the movies. Sure, the high-speed car chases look cool on screen but as you learned when you ate the pavement, moving vehicles are dangerous. You were obviously tailing us, you should have waited until we hit downtown traffic, when we would have been stopped on the road, boxed in with no way out.”
She shook her head. “You had no way out after I totaled your ride.” She flexed her hand with an air of superiority.
“True, but that was after you’d been thrown from the roof. You lost time and expended energy when you wouldn’t have needed to, if you’d been smart.” Will would have killed to be able to move a hand, even a leg, something to break up the stiffness from being tied in one position for hours. “Wait until your target is stationary and then attack.”
“Still tied to that chair.”
Will hung his head. There was a reason he hated conversations like these, the wasted words and effort of trying to educate someone, only for them to be too thick-headed for the education to stick. “Just because you succeeded doesn’t mean your plan wasn’t poorly executed. Which leads me to my next point: stop watching movies. When the villain makes their entrance, they aren’t supposed to throw out snappy one-liners and waste valuable time trading words with their target. It leaves you open to defensive countermeasures.”
“No, I call bullshit on that one. I saw the Blink of Molech’s crew back in the day, and when Vikerness wanted to hold a dick-measuring contest with the entire city. They were all about the flashy monologues and they wreaked some serious havoc.”
“And they’re both dead. You wanna know how Zoey defeated Molech, Black Scott, and his crew? Because he talked too much.”
The woman arched a brow. “You talk too much.”
“When I talk, it’s because I’m saying something worth listening to. When inbreds like Molech talk, the IQ of anyone within listening distance drops several points. I believe my boss once referred to it as a talking fart cloud or verbal diarrhea or... something along the line that gives the person a visual of shit spewing forth from one’s mouth.”
Her eyebrow stayed arched. “Your boss? You mean your girlfriend and future baby mama?”
“My what?”
She laughed hysterically at him. It wasn’t the insane cackling from her debut into the world of kidnapping. It was genuine. She was genuinely mocking him. The sound of her laughter echoed off the walls of the distillery, amplifying it tenfold in his ears.
Will wasn’t amused.
“For a guy dating a girl half his age, one would think you’d be more up to date on slang.”
“She is not half my age, she’s...” Will paused, numbers racing around in his head. “Huh.” The woman gave him a confused look and he shook the thought off. “She’s not half my age. But there are some... blurred lines when it comes to our definitions. Zoey is both my boss and my partner, and I do my best to keep a clear distinction whenever possible.”
“Yeah, sure, must be a tough life you lead. Either way, a baby mama is... exactly how it sounds, the mother of your kid that you aren’t married to. Dress it up all you want, your boss, your partner or fuck buddy, whatever, once that bun is in the oven, she’s your baby mama.”
Feeling himself getting annoyed, Will groaned. “Can we please get back on topic? You’re the one who said you didn’t want to hear about my lovesick bullshit.”
“Right, yes, you were telling me I talk too much. Please, do elaborate, blabbermouth.”
“You talk too much, and you were too concerned with showmanship. Another mistake that got Molech and Vikerness killed. Molech’s desire for a...” It pained Will to even recall that particular brand of idiocy, “superhero costume is what ultimately allowed for us to get a step ahead of him. Vikerness wanted to make an example of Zoey, to knock her back into a ‘woman’s place’ and instead, he got a pair of scissors kicked into his brain. You had to show off your speed and run your mouth, and if we’d been better prepared and equipped, if we’d had a security detail following us, it would have given them ample time to surround you.”
She held up a finger. “Ah, but you didn’t! It was just another day at the beach for you assholes and you left yourselves wide open to attack, so should you really be throwing stones in that glass house of yours?”
He couldn’t deny that she was right on that point. They’d just been going downtown for a meeting with some schmucks, and after nearly a year of no major disasters, they’d obviously let their guard down. “Fine,” Will conceded, “that’s one point for your column. But that makes it two to one, with my side in the lead, and I’m not even finished yet. Do you want me to go on or are you willing to admit you’re the worst at kidnapping?”
She leaned back on the box, balancing herself with a hand. “I’ve got nothing but time.”
“Well, if you must know, your third mistake is an extension of your second mistake.” This would be the point where he’d hook a leg over his knee, letting the anticipation build while swirling his glass of scotch menacingly, but alas. “While you were too busy flapping your gums, you gave the game away.”
“The game?”
Will rolled his eyes. “Yes, the game. You told us everything we needed to know about why you decided to kidnap me and left behind witnesses to those motivations. My associates now have everything they need to find you and end you.”
The woman stiffened, her posture changing from that of humoring him back to that insane stance she’d had back at the SUV. She stood up, kicking out a leg to push back the metal box she’d been sitting on. “You don’t know shit about me!” She grabbed Will by the throat, lifting him and the chair up with one arm.
Will gasped, struggling for air under the force of her grip. White pinpricks of light danced in his vision.
“Your baby mama ruined my life! Took what little I had and pissed all over it! Now it’s my turn to repay the favor!”
It took all the effort Will could muster to force out the words despite the fact that he could barely breath. “Does... does that mean you’re going to piss on me?” He croaked.
She hesitated, the madness seeping from her gaze for a brief moment. “... no? It was just a metaphor, cock lord! I’m not some dog marking my territory.” She dropped Will, the legs of the chair skittering across the ground. For one terrifying moment, he thought he was going to tip over. He found his balance, however, and managed to remain upright. She seethed down at him, absolutely livid, but as soon as she opened her mouth, her phone rang.
“Ugh.” She pulled out her phone and glanced at Will. “Do you mind if I take this?”
“By all means,” He huffed, trying to regain his bearing, “take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
She dashed off quickly, leaving Will by himself. The silence was a balm on his ragged nerves. He’d guessed right, she wasn’t lethal, but for an instant, while she had her hand wrapped around his throat, squeezing the oxygen from his lungs, he’d been afraid that he had pegged her all wrong. Best not to poke the bear any more than he had to.
He was close, so close, to figuring out what the woman’s deal was, working with the smattering of hints she’d let slip to paint the entire picture, but he would have to tread carefully now, lest he force her hand in killing him.
That wouldn’t do at all. After his last brush with death, Zoey had threatened all sorts of unspeakable things upon his corpse, if he ever actually up and died on her.
Slowing his breathing, Will closed his eyes. Off in the distance, he could hear the woman speaking, pacing around as she did so. Her path must have taken her past an open doorway, half of her words muffled, the others just faintly discernible. It confirmed one of his theories. He held his breath, trying to stay absolutely still as he focused his hearing on her conversation.
There was a sharp exchange, and he heard her stomp toward him.
“Fine, I’m doing it now.”
She came into view as she disconnected the call, the holographic display of the person she was speaking to vanishing before Will could fully make it out.
“It’s showtime, baby. Try to look as pitiful as you can.” The woman came to a stop right in front of him. “It goes without saying, of course, if you try to pull anything, I’ll smash your stupid hair into your throat.”
A hollow threat but all the same, Will nodded. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
She held up her phone, activating the camera to broadcast on Blink, the little blue light indicating she was live. “What’s good, everybody? You may recognize me from my stunning heroics early today and facial recognition probably told you all everything there is to know about me, but if you’ve somehow been living under a rock, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Bridget, the one who plucked the Will Blackwater right from the safety of his car, proving once and for all that he’s nothing more than a big baby bitch who is all bark and no bite. Believe you me, he’s been barking for hours and all he’s done is convince me he loves nothing more than to hear himself speak.”
She spun around to get Will into frame, and he held his head up high, to show off what he was certain was an angry ring of finger marks around his neck. “He’s kinda aggravating and quite honestly, I’m done playing with him. So, I’ll make his friends and his baby mama a deal.”
Will’s eyes went wide at that. Zoey had been pissed that Echo, her friend, had spilled the beans on them. There was no way she was going to let him live after she found out he’d told this psychotic woman everything, in a ploy to outsmart her. He could practically hear Zoey screaming his name, shamefaced and furious at him. Perhaps he should let this woman kill him after all.
“Zoey ‘The Piggy’ Ashe, utterly destroyed my life and if she doesn’t pay me what I’m owed, I’ll destroy her life.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder to indicate Will. “Before, I couldn’t have punched my way out of a damp rag, but now... I could run through this walking sack of assholes so fast I’d leave a cartoon cutout in my wake. Boom, splat, no more Will Blackwater. Now, about a year ago, the Suits put out a fifty-million-dollar bounty for any information that would lead to the person who had supposedly killed him, but we all know how that turned out.
“It was all a fake out, just another one of the bullshit schemes these rich gangsters play in this city, like the rest of us don’t have to scrape together a living in the literal craters of their constant collateral damage, but now, that bounty is for real. Except this time, it’s more like a ransom. I want that money, every last dime, transferred into an account I’ll post the information to by midnight tonight. As long as the money shows up, I’ll let Mr. Blackwater go, not a scratch on him. If it doesn’t, well... like I said, it’ll all be for real, and Will here will be nothing more than a red puddle in his fancy Italian suit.”
Bridget, if that was even her real name, reached back to pat his head condescendingly. Will took in a deep breath, letting his eyes close for a moment before he reopened them, lips curling up in the faintest hint of a smile. That should be all the hint they needed. Assuming that they’d been paying attention and not talking Zoey down from just letting him die for outing her.
“Once the money is mine, I’ll leave him somewhere conspicuous to be found, though it’s probably a good thing I already took his phone and wallet. Wouldn’t want him to get kidnapped and mugged all in the same day! Remember, midnight tonight, which gives you about five hours to comply, or we turn him into purée!”
She ended the feed and glanced back at Will with a satisfied smirk. “Not bad, if I do say so myself.” Will flashed her a look and Bridget’s face fell. “Oh, no, come on! That was concise, to the point, threatening without being overly graphic while still being entertaining for the kids! What could I have possibly done wrong now?”
Will sighed. “What have I been telling you this whole time?”
“I have to talk to tell them what I want!” She shouted. “What, was I just supposed to stare at the camera silently while holding a knife to your neck?”
“Actually, that would have been the smartest thing you’ve done all day. Flash the bank account number on the display with the amount you want, and you would have been home free. No villainous monologuing, no letting anything slip that you don’t want the people you’re ransoming to know about," No getting him in massive amounts of trouble with his girlfriend, he thought, "I would have been thoroughly impressed, but no, you just had to play for mass appeal and once again gave everything up.”
Grabbing Will’s tie, Bridget tugged him forward, lifting the chair onto its two front legs. He felt his stomach drop as he dangled precariously. “I didn’t give up shit. You’re just pulling some mind game bullshit to get into my head.”
“I’m already in your head. I know everything there is to know. You said Zoey took everything, ruined your life, but it’s obvious you have nothing to take. She didn’t recognize you this morning, which means you’re not from Fort Drayton, so you two don’t have a past. Couple that fact with your political commentary about how we run things here, and that means you’re a local, probably came here with your folks as a kid to put up sticks, make a fresh start.
“No offense meant, because I, too, was once a string bean, but going by your ghastly figure and your dirty clothing, it means that fresh start never happened. No money, no access to clean water or a steady diet, you spent your whole life poor. That means the only thing you had that Zoey could have taken was... Squatterville.”
Bridget’s expression did all the talking for her.
After all the drawn-out legal proceedings surrounding the building had been stretched to their limits, they’d finally had to tear it down three years prior, displacing the thousands of people who’d taken up residence in the dilapidated husk. The Livingston Foundation had done the best it could to mitigate the fallout, and under Zoey’s direction, they’d funneled funds and grants to the numerous homeless shelters, women’s shelters, daycares, rehab facilities, and vocational services throughout the city.
She’d even bought out a large plot of land to build mini-houses for a New Squatterville, little one or two bedroom deals made from old cargo containers with dirt cheap rents. Zoey couldn't care less that it was a financial disaster on their end, from the permits to the construction to the upkeep as landlords, even after they ran the whole thing through several shell companies to limit their overall liability. The numbers meant nothing to Zoey, she just wanted them to have someplace to live.
Within six months, however, they’d shown her what they thought of her charity. A large percentage refused the free job training and rehab, instead turning the area into a slum full of drugs and gangs, just another part of the city no one went to after dark. Or even in broad daylight. The meager few who had taken advantage of the educational and job programs had quickly escaped the squalor as fast as they could and never looked back.
Overall, it had been a nightmare on both sides, and a never-ending source of contention between himself and Zoey. Not in a fun way, either, where their arguments ended with them in bed together. Will had wanted to cut their losses, handing off the land and assets to a legitimate housing company, so they could wipe their hands clean of the whole mess. Zoey had refused, claiming the company would just bulldoze the slum, reshuffling the squatters and starting the whole cycle over again.
Will had hated Squatterville when it had been Arthur’s project to handle, and he hated it even more under Zoey’s care, especially when he ended up in bed alone, at his own house, Zoey refusing to answer his calls or respond to his messages. At least now he would have ammunition for their next argument about it, Bridget his new silver bullet for getting out of the doghouse.
“Let me guess.” Will said. “You weren’t one of the success stories, not that there were a lot of them, so you blamed Zoey for trading bad for worse and just waited for the first chance you got to exact some revenge. With the help of some benefactors.”
When Bridget widened her eyes, Will smirked in victory. “I told you, you gave up the game. You kept saying ‘we’. That ‘someone’ paid you for results. I’m assuming that someone paid for your Raiden tech, someone who figured out Zoey had override access and found a way to bypass it. The same someone who you were on the phone with, who has been directing this whole charade. Because that’s what this is, a charade. No torture, no killing, you only hurt Wu after he attacked you first. You’re not even a good kidnapper, let alone a killer, which means they want me alive. You both do.”
The sound of clapping filled the room.
Bridget dropped Will back onto the ground to spin on her heel, her stance defensive. She immediately relaxed when she saw who it was.
A short black man appeared from out of the shadows, dressed in all black tactical gear, surrounded by a cadre of similarly dressed team of agents. They all carried high-powered rifles slung over their shoulders with slings, sidearms clipped to fancy straps around their thighs.
“I have to say, Mr. Blackwater, our reports weren’t wrong. You really are the smartest asshole in all of Utah.”
At last, the brains behind the operation. Will let out a sigh of relief. At least they weren’t the North Koreans.
“Don’t forget the most dangerous, too, as you’re going to find out when my associates storm this hellhole.”
The man approached Will and Bridget, hands clasped behind his back. “Not an issue. I have it on good authority they’re scrambling to put together the ransom. And no, don’t worry, there’s no moles, we’ve had eyes on them since your little... accident this morning.”
“And you are... FBI? DEA?” Will narrowed his eyes. “Please, god, do not tell me you’re from the IRS.”
He laughed, deep and rich, which was surprising for a man of his limited stature. “You can relax, we’re not tax agents. Trust me, your books are far less worrisome than what we’ve got going on. Bridget, can you untie this man?”
She frowned at him. “What? You said to keep him tied up, to make sure he didn’t escape.”
“Yes, and you’ve done a fantastic job so far, but we’re here now and we’ve got...” The man pulled out his phone to check the time. “Three hours and some change before we hit our deadline. I think we can manage to keep him under control until then.”
Bridget looked as though she was unsure of his decision but nonetheless complied. She walked behind Will and snapped the ropes with ease.
Blood rushed to his extremities, almost as satisfying as an orgasm, until the pins and needles started. Will slowly stood up, flexing his hands and arms until it no longer felt he had static bubbling under his skin. “Thank you. I think, Mister...?”
“No names. Mister will work just fine. And don’t thank me, it’s only a professional courtesy.” He said. “Been a while since you were a civilian contractor, but the military has a long memory.”
Will rubbed at his wrist thoughtfully. “You’re military then?”
Mister shook his head. “I didn’t say that. Just that former military personnel work their way through the government branches in all sorts of ways. Stories get told, legends get built.” He leaned in closer, stage whispering conspiratorially. “Just between you and me... is it true about Novgorod?”
Will snorted at the question in amusement. “You’ll need to ask Mr. Knox about that one. He has a... personal interest in keeping the details about Novgorod under wraps.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then you’ll appreciate our interest in keeping this whole affair under wraps as well. You’re only a periphery character in all of this, but we needed you out of the picture while we took care of business. When it’s all said and done, I would hate to have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for yourself or Ms. Ashe. Or any of your associates, really.”
“If you didn’t want that, you shouldn’t have done any of this in the first place.” Will walked around, stretching his legs but was careful about not getting too close to the armed agents who had ringed themselves around the room. To work out his stiff joints, he pulled a coin from his pocket, going through the practiced motions of his coin trick as he talked.
“A phone call would have sufficed, to get me out of the picture for you. I would have quite enjoyed taking a day off.” He could have spent the day finishing up what he and Zoey had started that morning, so far deep inside her that the agents wouldn’t have needed to bother sending a rogue Raiden user to find him.
Mister slowly spun around, tracking Will as he moved about, keeping him within line of sight at all times, eyes trying to suss out the trick. “If I thought that would have solved our problem, I would have. But alas, you don’t strike me as a man who does favors for the government just because they ask nicely. Killing you was off the table, as again, the military has a long memory and you’ve not become so dangerous that you can’t be constrained if need be. As evidenced by today. Win-win for all.”
Will paused in his pacing to peer across the room at Mister. “Apparently not, if our interests are so diametrically opposed. I’m obviously going to be losing out on something.”
“Not your life. And only ten of the fifty million Bridget here asked for, her fee for agreeing to assist us in this matter. She was more than familiar with the area and had some personal matters to settle with Ms. Ashe. And a Raiden user not bent on world domination is an incredibly useful asset to have in our back pocket. Too good a marriage of ideals to pass up.”
If he had found it at all amusing, Will would have laughed. Since he didn’t, he frowned deeply, palming the coin. “I’m sorry, are you suggesting that I will be paying for my own kidnapping? In service to some end that’ll hurt our bottom line somewhere in the future?”
Lifting his hands in a placating gesture, Mister tried to keep him calm, before his men got itchy trigger fingers. “Consider it civil forfeiture, in lieu of over twenty years of taxes I’m sure you, Mr. Livingston, and Ms. Ashe have underpaid on. Unless you want me to call in the tax agents to roto-rooter your girlfriend, the mafia billionaire.”
Will bristled at the threat. “We’re not part of the mafia. Ms. Ashe runs a legitimate business-”
Mister cut him off again. “I’m just stating facts, Mr. Blackwater. She can call herself the CEO and you can call yourself chairman of the board, but you’re both gangsters, criminals parading around in nice suits and luxury cars. All I’m attempting to do is balance the scales a little, do a little right by doing a little wrong.”
“A little right?” Will scoffed, hackles still raised. “You took a woman who obviously needed more than public assistance and charity and some serious psychological intervention,” He motioned at Bridget, “and instead fed into her need for revenge by putting her under the knife to graft the Raiden tech to her skeleton.”
Sensing they were going to be at this a while, Mister sat down on the box Bridget had vacated. He fixed Will with a frank expression. “If we hadn’t stopped you from going to that meeting today, you would have blood on your hands that we couldn’t have afforded for you to spill. We knew it was going to take place and had taken measures to stall it as long as we could, until we could arrange a few pieces on the board. We found Bridget here on the Hub, in a chat room dedicated to Ms. Ashe’s most ardent detractors. Certainly an interesting group of people. I’m sure you’ve seen the memes.”
Oh, he had. They all had. Months ago, when he and Zoey had finally decided to try for a child, she’d had to go off her anti-anxiety medication, to avoid any fetal defects. It had taken some time, at first, to adjust to being off her meds and they’d settled into a comfortable rhythm of infrequent emotional episodes. Then a new round of hate had started on Blink, right around her twenty-ninth birthday, when they’d been planning her party. It had all been political, the proletariat protesting against the celebrations of the rich elite, but Zoey had taken it quite personally. Since pigs had long ago become associated with the ruling class, Blink had become awash with tasteless memes of her being a pig, which had brought up a lot of painful memories of Molech.
He had spent most of her birthday party out in the gazebo consoling her as she clung to Stench Machine like a security blanket, Wu a respectful distance away to keep any guests from wandering over to bother them during a private, emotionally precarious moment.
“While those cretins had been busy crafting some creative visuals of Ms. Ashe, Bridget here didn’t want her dead, she didn’t want any of you dead. She was aware that your deaths wouldn’t fix her problems, or the problems with your city. She just wanted what she thought she was owed from the... well-intentioned missteps of your boss. In our case, that was exactly what we needed, a little pragmatic anger. If we provided her with the means of securing you without sending in an army and blowing our cover, we would ensure she got the payment she wanted.”
“How did you find out about the override?” Will asked, the only nagging question on his mind. They’d worked very hard to keep it a secret, until now.
“Three words.” Mister said. “League of Badass.”
He groaned miserably, knowing they never should have let those shit-for-brains take the credit. “Of course one of those shit for brains ran their fat goddamn mouths.” Will said, vocalizing his thoughts.
Mister chuckled. “Actually, they didn’t know a damn thing. That was our first clue. Those dunces at the White House, soaking up the adulation and accolades, when it was obvious to anyone who met them that they weren’t capable of adding two plus two without outside intervention, let alone taking out Molech. Took a while to figure it out, different agencies all working on different pieces of the puzzle. Singh got away with most of his research, but the military still had a little to go on.
“One interdepartmental Christmas party and too much to drink got us to the realization you’d discovered an override. The incident with Dexter Tilley and the man who robbed that bank while you were ‘deceased’ only confirmed it. Only took a few months to rewire the hardware to ignore the override signal. We were saving it up for a rainy day, then all of this happened. When we decided to implement Raiden into the plan, we figured it was time to unveil the deus ex machina, to ensure Bridget’s safety.”
Will hummed thoughtfully. It wasn’t a bad plan, on its face. Facts applied to known variables, countermeasures planned for and subverted, safety measures put in place. If Mister hadn’t been a federal agent, Will might have congratulated him for his stroke of genius. He looked to Bridget, who had been watching their conversation silently.
“I take it the crazy lady act was just that... an act.”
She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “Depends on your definition. I spend most of my time in the Hub, ranting and raving about getting revenge, and I let the government implant insane ass tech into my body, so... six of one, half dozen of the other.”
“Well, you still probably could have pulled it off better if you hadn’t watched so many damn movies. I had you pegged pretty much from the beginning.”
Bridget laughed at him. “Sure you did. But pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes. I think you’re just upset you didn’t see any of this coming.”
The building shook violently as something thumped against the exterior wall. Dirt and debris rained down from the ceiling when it thumped again. The agents began tapping their earpieces, asking for a situation report, but all the devices in the room ceased working.
Will glanced at Bridget. “Remember when I said it was important to the story for you to understand the... family project Zoey and I are working on?” He asked flatly.
She just stared back at him in wide-eyed confusion.
“It was important because I needed you to understand that you’d kidnapped me from a batshit insane woman who has baby on the brain. She once tried to make bees hate me, if it helps to lend some perspective to what happens to people who piss Zoey off.”
A section of wall caved in, bringing in a gust of cold night air. The agents brought their weapons to bear on the hole that had been created. Instead of a person walking in, however, a small cannon on wheels rolled into the room. Whoever had crafted the cannon had apparently only ever watched cartoons, because the cascabel was nothing but a bulbous orb, the chase unreasonably narrow with the muzzle only half the size of the opposite end.
If Will was a connoisseur of antique weaponry, the person who’d designed this was the exact opposite of him.
Andre. Perhaps with Budd giving him pointers as Echo punched the moronic schematics into Santa’s Workshop.
“PREPARE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BITCH!” Came Zoey’s voice from somewhere just outside the new entrance. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the cannon belched a thick white fog.
It quickly filled the room. Will, Bridget, and the agents immediately covered their faces, thinking it to be toxic, until the temperature in the room instantly dropped several degrees. The agents panicked and began shouting orders, not quite sure what was going on but decided resorting to violence was the best tactic.
The cannon was an ice machine, not a crowd control device.
Over the agents, Will shouted as loud as he could, “Zoey, stop! I’m all right!”
There was a brief pause in the chaotic din.
“Are you only saying that because there’s a gun to your head and you don’t want your brains blown out or are you actually all right?” Zoey’s voice called out.
He would have applauded her forethought for not wanting to walk into a trap, but he had a feeling if he didn’t contain the situation, it would actually devolve into a situation. “No, there’s no gun to my head... although, there are men in here with guns but I’m quite positive we can all walk out of this alive, if we just keep our wits about us.”
“When have you ever known me to do that?”
Will squeezed his eyes together, praying for strength. “There’s a first time for everything.”
“Okay,” Andre piped up, “we’re coming in. If anyone does anything funny, I’ll blow their balls off. Understood?”
“Understood, Mr. Knox.” Mister said, indicating to his men to lower their weapons but keep on their toes.
The cannon stopped emitting a freezing cloud, as a show of good faith. Wu stuck his head in first, scanning the room with a slide of his eyes. They stopped on Bridget for a moment, giving her a once over. Once he was certain no one was threatening Will in any way, he gave the all clear by stepping through the hole.
Andre followed, carrying a huge black grenade launcher. Zoey was right behind him, the controller for the stupidly imagined ice cannon clutched in her hands. Her eyes flashed when she saw him and Will could see the internal struggle going on in her mind, between running over to him to make sure he was okay and playing the calm, cool alpha female in front of so many heavily armed people.
Thankfully, the latter won out.
The three of them stood silently, staring at Will, Mister, and Bridget, waiting to see who would make the first move.
Will made it for them. “The others?” He asked, breaking the stalemate.
“Outside, ready to rain down permanently disfiguring pain and misery to anyone besides us who comes out of this building.” Andre answered, waggling his grenade launcher toward the jagged hole behind them.
With a roll of his eyes, Will shook his head. He appreciated the sentiment but they were a day late and a dollar short with the showmanship and death threats. “That won’t be necessary, my new friends here have agreed to let me go.”
Mister cleared his throat.
“Ah, yes, they’ve agreed to let me go for the one-time, nominal fee of ten million dollars. For services rendered. I suggest you pay it, so we can leave this place. I’m in desperate need of a drink.”
“Services rendered for what?” Zoey asked indignantly, glaring at Will like he'd gone mad.
“Well,” Will replied, trying to keep a grip on his patience, “if I called it a ransom payment, would that make you feel better about it?”
Andre, Zoey, and Wu exchanged glances. “I thought they wanted fifty million in ransom?” Wu said. “What, did you manage to negotiate them down a couple mil?”
“Yes.” Will answered, considering it easier than explaining the truth. “So pay them. I want to leave.” He reiterated.
“Shit,” Andre said, “I knew you were good, Will, but not that good.” He tapped the communicator in his ear. “Echo, transfer ten to that account and we’ll be good to roll.” Andre tilted his head to the side as he listened to her response. “I don’t know, maybe he sucked a lot of dick, just do it, damn.”
Mister held up his phone, tapping his finger to pull up the account. Thirty seconds later, they heard a chime as the funds were added. “Excellent. Bridget, you are now a multimillionaire.” He handed the phone over to her. “The government thanks you for your service and we look forward to working with you again in the future.”
“Wait, wait, hold up!” Zoey shouted. “You’re just gonna let her have that money?! No epic gunfight, no monologuing, just wham, bam, thank you ma’am?”
“That’s exactly what we’re going to do.” He looked at Bridget, who was suddenly no longer a commanding presence, but a lost little girl, staring at the phone in disbelief. “Might I suggest you spend that money wisely. Perhaps invest it in something worthwhile.”
“Like a decent meal and proper kidnapping lessons?” She quipped, shoving the phone in her back pocket.
Will smirked with genuine delight. “It’s so refreshing when someone actually listens.” He spun on his heel. “Mister, my thanks for this refreshing little chat, but if it’s all right with you, I will be leaving.” Will took a careful step toward his friends. When no one said otherwise or raised their weapons, he took another, more confident step and kept going. He reached Zoey, who immediately took his hand, squeezing it possessively. He gave her a reassuring squeeze back.
“Well,” Bridget said, clapping her hands together, “I hope I never have to see any of you fuckers ever again.” Giving the Suits a little salute, she made toward the makeshift door, only glaring a little at Zoey as she passed. “You’re a dirty skank,” Bridget called out, “but at least your soon-to-be baby daddy is okay. Later, hoe!”
Though she could be quite fierce, Will still had all the advantages over Zoey physically, giving him enough leverage to hold her back when she tried to go after Bridget.
“No, dammit, lemme go! I’m gonna rip her tits off!” She shouted, tugging angrily against Will’s grip.
He shushed her gently, pulling at Zoey until she was tucked under his arm. “There’s no need for any of that.” Will said, voice low and soothing. “It’s over now. We’re going to go home and forget any of this happened.” His gaze flicked over to the agents still standing there, watching them. “And the next time any military or civilian contractors needs to operate within city limits, instead of going to ridiculously stupid lengths to get the job done, they will call in advance and work with us, not against us.”
Mister nodded, getting the message loud and clear.
“And just for posterity’s sake, who was this person you thought so needed your protection from me?”
“That I can’t reveal, but... let’s just say the moment you two were together in the same room once again, it would have been a bloodbath. And we needed them alive... for reasons.”
Will arched a brow. There weren’t many people he would kill on sight alone, which made him wonder...
“No need to thank us for preventing what could have been casualties on both sides.” Mister gave the signal to his men and one by one, they left the way they entered, securing their weapons so as not to get blown up by whatever was waiting outside. He stood in place, hesitating on following his men as he stared across the room at Andre.
Shifting uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze, Andre lifted a brow. “What, motherfucker, you wanna date me or something?”
“Novgorod.” Mister said. “Is it true?”
Andre’s demeanor changed immediately, from confusion to fury. “Fuck off!” He exclaimed, the sound echoing off the concrete walls. “All of you can fuck right off!” Clutching at the grenade launcher tightly to his chest, he stormed out the hole like an ill-tempered child throwing a tantrum.
“Wow.” Mister said in awe. “Guess it is true. Wow...” With that, he turned to follow his men, vanishing in the darkness of the tunnel.
Clearing his throat, Wu hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll be out in the car. Take all the time you need.” He shook his head. “And by that, I mean talk it out, not... y’know.”
When Wu was out of earshot, Zoey yanked herself away from Will’s embrace. “What the actual fuck? Why would you do that?”
“Do what?” He asked. “Resolve the situation peacefully, ensure no one was harmed and that all parties involved walked away satisfied? I don’t know, why would I do that?”
“That’s what I’m asking you!” Zoey shouted. “She had Raiden tech that we couldn’t stop! She kidnapped you and gloated about it to the entire city! A bunch of gun-toting fuckwads were here doing... whatever it was they were doing! And you paid them ten million dollars to boot! What happened to the Will Blackwater that squashed anyone who crossed him like bugs?”
Will sighed. “I’m still that same man. If I’d thought there was no other way to make sure our interests were protected, I would have gone along with,” He pointed toward the cannon, “this asinine plan you had put in motion.” He lifted a brow. “Speaking of, what was the impetus behind the plan?”
“Uh, Echo thought freezing the room would gum up the Raiden tech that allowed that scrawny bitch to move as fast as she did. If she couldn’t speed around like a maniacal crackhead, she’d be easier to take down.” Zoey shrugged. “To be honest, there was a lot of technical talk and I zoned out for most of it.”
“Understandable. There was a lot on your mind. As there was on mine. Given everything going on between us, I assumed a peaceable solution was better for everyone, to make sure I walked out of here alive. It was too important to me to get back to you in one piece and once I saw my opportunity to ensure that outcome, I wanted to follow through. Even if it meant not cracking open a single skull or setting someone on fire to get some bloody vengeance.”
Zoey pouted, scuffing the toe of her shoe along the pavement. “I wanted to be the hero.” She muttered petulantly. “Be the one to save you, for once. And you had to go and ruin it by saving yourself.”
He chuckled lowly to himself, opening his arms to pull Zoey to him once more. He enveloped her in a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But you did save me. You picked up on my hint when I dropped it and were able to find me.”
“Pfft. Budd got that one, not me. Said you saved that smile for good whiskey.”
“And you listened to his advice and put the wheels in motion. You were here just in the nick of time and managed to save us forty million dollars by not paying the ransom right away. I’d say you were quite the hero.”
Lifting her head, Zoey peered up at Will, cheeks flushed red. “You’re not just saying that to keep me from blowing my top?”
“You know me better than anyone, do I ever say anything I don’t mean?” Will replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Zoey rolled her eyes. “I didn’t know about the whiskey thing.”
“And Budd doesn’t have the faintest clue what I let you do to me on a regular basis. I’d say you know me a lot better than he does.”
Reassured by the sentiment, Zoey pushed herself up as she pulled Will down by his tie, kissing him fiercely. Will hummed contentedly, smoothing his hands down her back to lift her up by her butt so he could swing her around playfully. He occasionally had moments of self-doubt, as his age crept higher and higher, that Zoey would eventually come to her senses and leave him for someone more deserving, someone more appropriate. The only thing that banished those doubts was Zoey herself, the noises she made when they kissed, the way her body pressed into his as they embraced, how she clung to him, like she was afraid he’d slip through her fingers like a mirage.
That particular train of thought reminded him of something and Will pulled away, carefully letting Zoey drop to the floor. Her brow knitted together. “What, what’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing. I just remembered that something occurred to me while I was trading quips back and forth with Bridget.”
Zoey's expression darkened. “Like what, that you told her you were trying to put a bun in my oven? Thanks for that, by the way, now all of Tabula Rasa knows I’m baby crazy.”
Will pressed a placating kiss to her temple. “No, not that, though I really am sorry. I thought a more personal connection with her captive might stay her hand, before I figured out what was really going on. What I realized was... I’m no longer age inappropriate for you.”
“Uh, you’ve never been age inappropriate for me. Age inappropriate would be me banging Budd.”
Grimacing at the frightful mental image, Will shook his head clear. “Don’t ever say that to me again. Please. There’s not enough alcohol in the world... what I meant was, remember what Wu said to us, to me, that whole ‘half your age plus seven’ business?”
“What about it?”
“It no longer applies. I’m forty-five, you’re twenty-nine. Do the math.”
It took Zoey a moment to count it out on her fingers, a trait Will found tiresome but unerringly adorable, but she got there in the end. “Oh, my god...” Her whole face lit up and just the sight of it warmed Will to his core.
“C’mon,” She crowed, grabbing the lapels of Will’s suit, “let’s go rub it in Wu’s stupid ass face!”