Archive of Our Own ^beta

But Percy knew. Percy believed it had started when Annabeth asked the question. 

"How many times a day do you think an average human smiles?" 

No one knew the answer. Obviously.  Not because they were idiots or uneducated of course (although most were one of them and some were both), but because no one cared enough. Yet. 

"I mean it depends, I guess. The data would come way low if you based it on—" Piper looked some feet ahead at the boy sitting on the Hades table— "you know, people who don't smile a lot." 

Piper hadn't explicitly said the name, but with everyone's glance turning at the same direction, no one denied it. 

And that's how Percy thinks, the idea for the bet started. 

Jason was the only one against it. "No, don't disturb Nico. All you'll do is annoy him."

Leo was quick to convince him. "We're placing bets on who can make him laugh, Superman. Laugh. A positive emotion." Leo waved his hands dramatically to emphasize his point. "Don't you want him to feel a positive emotion, Jason? I thought you were his friend." He topped it off with an innocent stare that looked really out of place on Leo's face. 

Either Leo had gotten Piper's charmspeak powers or he was really good at corrupting Jason, because Jason started hesitating a little. "Yeah but— I mean it's not right to—" 

Piper was next. "Leo's right, Jase. C'mon, we bet on him, Nico laughs, one of us wins. Everyone's happy." 

The cracks of hesitation opened wider on Jason's face at his girlfriend's words. 

Now he needed one last push. 

Annabeth delivered the last blow. She shrugged waving her hands at the group. "Alright fine, if you don't wanna play. We'll bet by ourselves, you can miss out on it and enjoy from a distance." 

"No wait," he said, still torn between the two options. "Fine, I'm in. But we're doing it just to see Nico laugh." 

Yes, of course, everyone agreed. Just to see Nico laugh. Definitely not for their own entertainment. And most definitely not because of their addiction to bets. 

The rules were simple. 

Everyone pitches 5 drachmas into the bet and tries to make Nico laugh. Winner takes all. 

A smile or a smirk or a snort doesn't count as a laugh. 

Everyone gets two minutes to make Nico laugh, and it has to last at least 5 seconds. 

No touching or tickling allowed.  

Although if they knew what's best for them and preferred their limbs attached to their bodies, no one would dare try the last one on Nico. 

Annabeth ran to the kitchen and brought a bowl to place the bet money in. Everyone took 5 drachmas each and dropped it into the bowl, praying to their respective parents to make them win. 

Piper decided to try her luck first. 

The gang watched as she went ahead and sat on the bench next to Nico. They couldn't hear the conversation, but Piper seemed like she was telling a joke. A bad idea, in Percy's opinion. Percy didn't remember Nico being particularly fond of jokes. 

As predicted, Nico was at best uninterested in the conversation and at worst annoyed, but he hadn't looked up from his book for longer than ten seconds. Two minutes ended, and Piper emerged ashamed and alone, the taste of defeat fresh on her tongue. 

"I told him a series of knock knock jokes," Piper sighed as she sat on her earlier place. "Knock knock jokes! Those are the classic stupidly funny ones. How can you not laugh at the Knock knock jokes?" She looked at the ceramic bowl, probably lamenting the loss of her drachmas. Percy didn't like Knock knock jokes either, but he decided to keep it to himself. 

Leo stood up next, bit too excited even by his standards. "You gotta know your audience, Beauty Queen. Knock knock jokes are a classic, but what do you think our Death boy appreciates?" 

Everyone looked at each other. "Uhh, death?" Jason tentatively asked. 

"Good guess, but no. Not in this context anyway. I was thinking along the lines of accidents. He laughed for five minutes straight that one time when I fell head-first from Festus." Leo rubbed his forehead, as if reminiscing the unpleasant memory of the fall. "Anywhoozies, kiss your money goodbye, Mi amigos!" 

Leo practically skipped towards the Hades table and— fell face flat onto the ground. 

So his game had begun. 

The attempt was good. From where the gang was sitting, the fall looked natural and believable, complete with Leo's pained and a bit comical wail. Everyone at the tables laughed at poor hurt Leo, and some Hephaestus campers rushed to help him. But Nico had barely paid attention— at least Piper's attempt had gotten him to look outside his book, but Leo's first attempt had failed so badly it was laughable. 

Well, not exactly laughable. At least not to Nico. 

Leo shrugged his siblings off and walked towards the Hades table again and— this time likely he stubbed his toe. The same cycle repeated. The pained wail. Laughter from all across the tables. Some concerned Hephaestus campers. Nico— nothing. Not even an annoyed glance. 

Even from the distance Percy could sense Leo's desperation as he sat beside Nico and appeared to be making a conversation. Probably making a last minute attempt. 

When that didn't work and two minutes were over, Leo limped towards them. Even though he looked to be in pain, it was impossible not to laugh at his utter failure. 

At least Leo was right on one thing. Falls and accidents did make a great laughter material. 

"You know you can stop acting now, right?" Annabeth addressed his limp. "He ignored you the whole time you were there, what makes you think he's gonna notice now?" 

Leo scowled at her but didn't take a seat. "It's not acting! I actually stubbed my toe. I think I'll have to go to the infirmary." 

And then he was gone.

Jason stood next, ready for action. "Let me show you guys how it's done," he said, kissing Piper on her cheek and sprinting off. 

Jason's strategy seemed to be similar to Piper's, which was luring Nico with more jokes. Unfortunately Nico's reaction also seemed to be similar to before, only annoyance increased by tenfold. Probably because people kept coming up to him and distracted him for two whole minutes each. 

"Dark Jokes. Didn't work. Don't wanna talk about it," Jason said as he slipped next to Piper, who rubbed his back in consolation. 

Annabeth volunteered to go next, which was just as well. His wise girl had a determined look on her face, just like the one she had when working on a drafting table. It made her look really professional, in a hot businesswoman kind of way that made Percy want to— Nope. Not now. Right now she was his enemy. A hot enemy, sure, but an enemy nevertheless. 

She went up to the opposite side of Nico's table and sat down— Sweet Hades, even the way she sat looked so professional and hot— focus, Seaweed brain. 

Maybe Percy was biased, but whatever Annabeth was doing seemed to be working. To some extent, at least. Nico smirked a total of three times during the conversation, and snorted four times. Sadly, that's as close as she got, and rules dictated they didn't count as a win. 

Annabeth returned to them, frustration of losing apparent on her face. His wise girl was ever the sore loser. But in a cute way, of course. Even so, Percy knew it was best not to push her buttons. 

Piper apparently had a different idea. "Wow, you got the closest to making him laugh. What'd you do, Annabeth?" 

Annabeth sat beside Percy, leaning on him a little. Percy instinctively leaned on her and put a hand across her shoulder, even though he knew it was his turn soon. She sighed, and told them of her attempt. "I told him embarrassing stories about Percy." 

"Hey!" Percy was offended. 

Annabeth shrugged and smiled a little. "What? Some of them were really funny. I was so sure he'd crack." 

It wasn't fair that he couldn't stay mad at her. Within seconds the offense dissolved into agreement. Some of his experiences were funny, after all. 

"Did you tell him about the time I said hello to the poodle?" 

Annabeth smiled bigger this time, barely restraining a grin. "I told him about the time you said hello to the poodle." 

Ah. As long as someone got a smile out of it. 

But he had important things to tend to. Percy leaned away from Annabeth and stood up, received a good luck kiss from her, and went on his mission. 

He could do this. Percy had known Nico the longest out of all of them. He knew of the annoying little bratty kid Nico had been, and he knew that Nico existed somewhere deep inside the Leather jacket- wearing, long haired, emo teenager. 

All he had to do was bring out that kid in under two minutes. 

He'd show them how it's done. He'd win the bet and take all the drachmas. Maybe take Annabeth on a date with the money. 

Percy stood directly in front of the Hades table and started his magic. "Hey Nic—" 

"—Don't." 

Wait. That's not how it was supposed to go. 

"What?" 

Nico finally looked away from the book into his eyes and— Percy wished he hadn't. Nico looked annoyed and angry and positively murderous. 

When Nico spoke his voice was low and steady, and somehow scarier than the murderous look. "Don't you dare take a step ahead, Percy! I don't know what you guys are up to, but if you don't stop right this minute, you're gonna be very sorry." 

"But—" 

Nico cut him with a look. 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

Percy sighed. The guarded expression on Nico hadn't gone down. There was no use risking and endangering his life. He mumbled a Sorry for the trouble and walked towards the gang. 

"I think it's impossible to make him laugh," he said as he sat between Annabeth and Piper. Everyone agreed at least, and cast a glance at the bowl. 

"What do we do with the money?" Jason voiced what everyone was thinking. 

"We could take it back between ourselves," Piper suggested, but Percy had a better idea. 

"I mean, Annabeth made the most progress out of all of us. She could have it." Even if Percy didn't get to win, at least Annabeth could. 

Of course, it wasn't easy. His idea was shot down by Piper and Jason and Piper speaking on behalf of Leo, so he was easily outnumbered. While they were arguing, a voice called them from behind. 

"Hey guys." 

It was Will Solace, Nico's boyfriend of some time. Apollo camper, head counsellor, and head medic. Percy was ever so grateful of Will for saving Annabeth's life during the Titan war, and his own life on multiple occasions. Nico seemed to clearly adore him, the two of them spent a lot of time together and always partnered up for any game. Percy liked Will, and he thought they made a good couple. 

Will continued to speak. "Leo told me about the bet. Maybe I could give it a try?" 

As he'd said earlier, Percy liked Will. So he didn't want Will to die an early death at the hands of his boyfriend. "I don't think that's a good idea, Will," Percy started. "I probably pushed Nico to his limits, you'll get the burnt of it if you go there right now." 

But Will wasn't listening. He'd already taken out some drachmas from his pocket, now busy counting them. Will put 5 drachmas into the bowl and the rest back into his pocket, and sprinted towards the Hades table. 

"How long before Nico unleashes his sword at him?" Piper whispered. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Pipes," Annabeth whispered back, "Nico loves Will, he's not gonna kill him." 

"Only maim or seriously injure," Percy snorted. 

Jason shut them off pretty quickly, pointing urgently towards the table. "Guys guys, look." 

And they looked. And hung their mouths open in shock. 

The Hades table was filled with laughter. It wasn't just Will, who had a grin so blinding it could be seen from where they had been sitting, it was also Nico. 

Nico had the loudest laugh Percy had ever seen coming from the boy, and was apparently busy clutching his stomach to contain the laughter. He'd leaned into Will at some point, who was trying his best to handle Nico as much as he could. Everyone around the table stared at them in amazement, too stunned to react. 

The laughter must have lasted more than ten seconds, and Percy had to say it was worth every drachma he'd lost. 

When Will returned to them and took the bowl in his hands, no one uttered a single word. Like Percy, everyone seemed to be processing what had just happened. 

It wasn't until Will left after a declaration of Maybe I'll use the money to take Neeks on a date, that everyone started to react. 

Piper was the first one to speak. "Guys, I know it doesn't make sense, but I think Will's a wizard." 

Annabeth tried to rationalize it the best she could. "No, no that's not right. Maybe Apollo children can curse people into laughing uncontrollably?" Annabeth asked, but Percy could see that she didn't believe it herself. 

"Nah, they can curse people into rhyming couplets, not laughter." 

"Well then how'd he do it?" 

"How should I know?" 

"Having fun, assholes?" 

Nico's voice appeared from the shadows, scaring the shit out of everyone. Except Percy, of course. He wasn't startled at the least. The rapidly increasing heartbeat and the cold feeling on his face were just a coincidence. 

When they settled into it, Jason felt a little brave. "H-Hey Nico. Have you been enjoying the book?" He pointed to the book Nico was now clutching on his chest. The greek cover thankfully went easy on Percy's dyslexia and let him read it with no issues. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 

Nico looked at them and scoffed. The murderous aura was gone from his eyes, something Percy was immensely glad for. Nico looked indifferent, maybe a little amused? 

"Maybe I would have if you idiots hadn't been disturbing me every two seconds." Nico put a hand in front before anyone could respond. "I'm too busy for your apologies right now. I'm going to the infirmary." 

No one asked him if he was hurt somewhere. By now it was general knowledge that he always hung out by the infirmary in free time, helping his boyfriend however he could. 

Percy spoke up before he lost his courage. "Hey Nico?" Nico raised his eyebrows in question. "What did Will tell you that made you laugh so much?" 

Nico looked like he was considering his options. Then slowly, and carefully, he spoke. "You guys really wanna know?" Everyone nodded vigorously. "You'll have to pay your price." 

Annabeth spoke up next. "And what is your price?" 

Piper answered on behalf of Nico. "Let's just pitch in a drachma each." This caused Nico to narrow his eyes in disinterest and he started walking. "Wait wait, ugh. Fine, two drachmas each. We'll give you 8 drachmas. Happy?" 

This seemed to satisfy Nico, and Piper urged everyone to cough up the money. Eh, what the hell, he'd already lost 5 drachmas. Might as well lose two more to a good cause. 

Nico pocketed the money and watched— amused— as the four of them looked at him in anticipation. He seemed to take in a few more time to savour the moment, and finally spoke. 

"Will told me a joke." 

"What kind of joke?" 

"A normal kind." 

"Normal ki— What was the joke, di Angelo?" 

Apparently di Angelo was busy trying not to laugh at their expense. Ironic, since that's what had started the whole issue. 

"He told me," Nico started, "That you guys had a bet going, to see if you can make me laugh. He told me if I pretended to laugh, he'd share the drachmas with me." 

That. Was. 

"That bastard— I'm gonna—" Jason said before anyone could react, but Nico overrode him. 

"You're gonna what, Grace?" Nico's voice was a mixture of threatening and amused. "Please tell me what you're gonna do to my boyfriend." When Jason didn't speak, Nico continued. 

"That's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go claim my share. And tell Will I managed to get get 8 more drachmas from the losers." 

And just as he came, Nico was gone. 

Percy turned to look at the other three. The anger had returned to Jason's face, Annabeth was even more frustrated. Even Piper looked angry. And if someone were to show him a mirror, Percy was sure he would see his red hot rage- filled face right now. 

But Percy knew— with even more anger frustration— that everyone was only angry they hadn't thought of it first. 

And that's how it ended. With them being seven drachmas each short. With Leo and his stubbed toe healing at some corner of the infirmary. With Nico and his head medic boyfriend richer than an hour ago, probably planning a lovely date at the same corner where Leo was currently in. 

But it also ended with Nico's laughter, so it wasn't a total loss. 

It was Piper who spoke again as always. "Guys, I know it doesn't make sense, but I think Will really is a wizard."