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In his defence, Buck had felt fine that morning. Mostly.
He’s not going to lie; he is feeling a bit rundown, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. It’s just— between helping Maddie and Chim with Jee, and helping Eddie now that he’s back at home, he’s been burning the candle at both ends. He wouldn’t have it any other way though. Maddie’s been getting the help she needs, and Buck gets to spend time with his niece. That’s a win-win as far as he’s concerned.
And as for Eddie…
Well, Buck had honestly expected to be sent packing once Eddie was out of hospital. Ana had dropped enough hints at the welcome home party that Buck was no longer needed, which was fair. Ana was Eddie’s girlfriend; it was only right that she be the one to stay with him while he was recovering.
But then Buck had received a weird phone call from Chris, and he’d gone over to find Eddie struggling on his own and Ana nowhere in sight. Apparently, they’d broken up. Buck shelves that information for the time being and splits his time between work, Maddie’s, and Eddie’s places.
So yeah, he’s tired, but he’s got this.
He stops in at Eddie’s on his way to work, letting himself into the house. Eddie hasn’t been cleared to drive yet so Buck has been taking turns with Pepa, alternating between dropping Chris off or picking him up from school depending on his shifts.
“Hey Buck!” Christopher grins up from the table.
“Hey buddy.” Buck ruffles his hair on his way across the kitchen to the coffee maker, pouring himself his second cup for the morning. “You almost ready?”
“Yeah.” Chris pushes up from the table. “I just need to brush my teeth.”
He pushes back his chair to stand and brushes past Eddie who's just making his way to the kitchen, before disappearing down the hallway.
“Hey.” Eddie leans against the bench beside Buck. “Thanks again for this, I know it was Pepa's turn to take him to school today.”
“It’s fine,” Buck says, waving him off. “I’m always happy to get my daily dose of Chris.” He takes a long drink from his mug, downing his coffee. He can feel Eddie’s gaze, burning against the side of his face. “What?”
“Are you okay?” Eddie asks, his voice soft. “You look... exhausted.”
Buck laughs. “You’re one to talk. Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”
The redirect works and Eddie bristles, turning away. It's been a sore point for the last few weeks, and an easy distraction.
“I've done enough resting,” he grumbles, pouring himself a cup of coffee with his left hand — his right arm is still in a sling. “I’m going stir crazy here on my own, Buck, and everyone just keeps telling me I need to take it easy." Putting his mug down, Eddie moves to the fridge to grab Chris’s lunch box, stuffing it into the backpack hanging off the back of one of the chairs. When he looks back up at Buck, his eyes are narrowed. "I know what you're doing."
Okay, so maybe the redirect hadn’t worked that well.
“You’d tell me, right?” Eddie asks, expression softening. “If something was wrong?”
Buck nods, squirming under the heavy scrutiny. “Yeah, of course.” He drains the last of his coffee and stacks his mug away in the dishwasher. He can’t meet Eddie’s gaze or he might find himself crumbling under the weight of Eddie’s concern. “I gotta go. I’ll catch ya later,” he says, still not looking up. He calls out for Chris and makes his escape.
~
By the time Buck pulls into the parking lot at the station, exhaustion has settled deep into his bones and there’s a tickle in his throat that’s hard to ignore. One of the teachers had warned him there was a bug going around when he’d dropped Chris off a few days earlier but Buck hadn’t thought anything of it. He shrugs the feeling off. As a firefighter and a first responder, he came into contact with all sorts of coughs and colds; his immune system could handle just about anything at this stage.
He grabs his bag from the back of the Jeep and heads inside for his shift.
“Hey Buckaroo,” Hen falls into step beside him as he enters the station. “You’re looking a little worse for wear, big night?”
“No point sugarcoating it,” Chimney teases, catching up with them. “You look like shit Buckley.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little early for insults?” Buck asks, pushing open the door to the locker room.
“Never.” Chim grins, dropping his bag onto one of the benches.
“We tease because we care,” Hen says, slinging an arm over Buck’s shoulders. “And you really do look awful.”
“I’m just tired,” Buck tells them, waving off their concern. “It’s been a long week but this is my last shift. After this I have three days off.” He tosses his bag into his locker and pulls out his uniform, buttoning it up over his t-shirt.
“Oh yeah, you got big plans?”
“Not really,” Buck says, kicking off his sneakers. “Chris asked me this morning if we can go to the zoo and I know Eddie’s pretty keen to get out of the house. So, we might do that.”
“Sounds an awful lot like a date there, Buck,” Chim points out. He stops tying his laces to look up at Buck.
“What? No, it’s not like that,” Buck says, his face flushing.
“Of course not.”
“It’s not.” It comes out a lot harsher than Buck means to. “Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean—”
“Hey, it’s fine,” Chim says quickly. “I should have dropped it.” He stands, clapping Buck on the shoulder. “C’mon, if we’re lucky we can probably convince Bobby to make us breakfast.”
~
The headache kicks in after the first call out and lingers through to the third. Buck pushes away his discomfort to carry the kid he’s holding through the blinding smoke and deposit him outside with the rest of his family. His mask makes him feel claustrophobic, and he rips it off, panting to catch his breath through the congestion that’s building in his lungs.
When they get back to the station, Buck skips training in favour of a nap. He knows Bobby’s planning on putting them through a few drills later and if he’s lucky he might be able to catch a few minutes of sleep before he’s put through his paces. He sets the timer on his phone for an hour, though chances are something else will wake him earlier, most likely the station alarm. Buck will take what he can get though, and he’s asleep within moments of his head hitting the pillow.
He blinks awake sixty minutes later, reaching over to silence his phone. The nap hasn’t helped. If anything, Buck feels worse. The headache, which had been annoying but ultimately ignorable, pulses painfully behind his eyes and he can’t decide if he feels too hot or too cold lying there on his bunk. All he knows is that he feels uncomfortable and sweaty and just... bad.
He wants to go home—no, that’s not entirely true. He wants to leave work but he doesn want to go back to his apartment where he’d be alone.
No.
What Buck wants, what he really wants, is to curl up on Eddie’s couch. When it’s cold like this, he sticks his toes under Eddie’s leg to keep them warm. Eddie always complains but never makes him move, just reaches for the blanket to spread across them both.
He wants to watch movies with Chris, swapping amused glances with Eddie because that kid knows all the words to every How to Train Your Dragon movie.
He wants... Eddie.
Buck drags a hand down his face and swings his legs over the side of the bunk. He’s less than halfway through his twenty-four-hour shift. He needs to take some meds, get his headache under control and pull himself together.
He runs his hands through his hair, smoothing down the curls that have gone wild while he was sleeping and stumbles out into the garage.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” Chim calls from the back of the ambulance. “You finally decided to grace us with your presence.”
Buck makes a rude gesture, ignoring Chim’s bark of laughter before the paramedic turns back to his inventory.
He heads upstairs; his nap has left his mouth dry and he’s desperately thirsty. A few of his shift mates are up there; Hen is on the couch with her textbooks spread out on the coffee table, Williams and Ramirez are at the table drinking coffee, and Bobby is in the kitchen by the stove. They all glance up as Buck steps onto the landing and he glances away suddenly self-conscious.
“Hey Buck?” He feels himself shrink under Bobby’s scrutiny. “A word?”
Buck swallows nervously, wincing at the sandpaper feel, and follows Bobby to his office wondering what he’s done wrong. He’s not the first person to catch a quick nap on shift and as long as it doesn’t interfere with their duties, and no one makes a habit of it, Bobby tends to let it slide.
Maybe he’d screwed up on that last call. He doesn’t remember doing anything wrong, but his thoughts are a jumbled mess and all their callouts for the day have blurred together in a haze of smoke and fire and—
“—Buck?"
He's pulled from his spiralling thoughts by a comforting hand on his shoulder. He stares at it, unsure if what to make of the gesture. He'd been expecting a reprimand, but when he looks up at his captain, all Buck sees is gentle concern.
“Are you right to get home on your own?”
“I— what? My shift isn’t over yet?” Buck can feel his face burning under Bobby’s scrutinising gaze, or maybe that’s just the fever, he’s not sure.
“It is now.” Bobby’s voice holds none of the disappointment Buck was expecting. “Go home, get some rest and maybe take some time for yourself.”
Buck frowns. “I don’t—what do you mean?”
Bobby sits on the edge of his desk, his hands clasped loosely in his lap. “I know you’ve been helping out Chim and your sister,” he says. “And you’ve been helping Eddie, and it’s great you want to be there for your friends Buck, but you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too."
“I am,” Buck insists. “I swear.”
“Okay.” Bobby raises his hands, waving off the argument on Buck's lips. “Just— remember you are allowed to say no. You’re allowed to take time for just yourself.” He shoos Buck towards the door. “Now, please go home. I don’t need you making my whole team sick.” There’s no accusation to his words, and Buck nods, backing out of the office.
Relief fills him as he goes to collect his things. The thought of struggling through the rest of his shift had been weighing heavily in the back of his mind.
Reaching his locker, Buck doesn't even bother with changing out of his uniform. He just grabs his bag, tossing it over his shoulder and heading out towards his car.
His phone chirps in his pocket as he's climbing up behind the steering wheel.
Eddie: Bobby said he’s sending you home. Come over?
Bobby’s words are still ringing fresh in his thoughts. Buck could say no. He could go home and get the sleep he desperately needs, but... but it’s Eddie .
He sends back a thumbs up.
~
The drive sucks.
LA traffic sucks— that's a given on any particular day, but today it's especially aggravating. The exhaust fumes of the highway combined with the angry honking of horns exacerbate the pounding of Buck's headache. By the time he pulls into Eddie’s driveway, nausea is curling through his stomach and clawing at his throat.
Eddie must hear the Jeep, because he’s waiting by the open door when Buck stumbles up the front steps, pulling him into the cool house and herding him towards the couch.
"Wait here." Eddie says when Buck's brows knit together in confusion.
Buck doesn't need to be told twice. He sits, sinking gratefully into the cushions, head tipping back. He dozes off, just for a minute or two, waking disoriented to a cool hand on his forehead.
“Hey.” Eddie’s concerned face swims into view above him. “You’re really hot.”
“Thanks,” Buck mumbles, “you too.”
There’s a surprised snort and a quick laugh and the hand disappears. Eddie returns quickly though, with a glass of water in his good hand and a packet of Tylenol tucked into his sling.
“Here.” He hands over the water and medicine. “Take these, then I've got a change of clothes for you.”
“I’m fine like this.”
“You’re still in your uniform, Buck, you can’t be comfortable.”
“I’m good.” Buck carefully pops two tablets out of the packet and swallows them with the water.
“Nope, you need to get up," Eddie tells him. "I promise you’ll feel better in a real bed.”
Buck stares at the hand Eddie holds out to him. “Oh.” He slowly puts the glass down on the coffee table. “Right. Of course.”
He stands, ignoring Eddie’s hand and uses the arms of the couch to steady himself when his vision swims with black spots. He waits for it to clear then turns for the front door, fishing his car keys from his pocket.
“Where are you going?” Eddie asks.
“Home?” Buck is so confused. Isn’t this what Eddie wanted?
“I’m not letting you drive like this,” Eddie says gently. “But I’m also not going to make you sleep on the couch.” He reaches out to grab Buck’s hand and pull him towards the hall.
“Are you sure?”
“Buck, you’ve been taking care of me and Chris for weeks. Let me take care of you now.”
Eddie pulls him towards the main bedroom and points out the clean sweats and t-shirt sitting folded on the bed.
“Put those on. I’m going to get you more water.”
Buck sits on the bed and slowly unlaces his boots. He reaches for the sweatpants, quickly changing before Eddie returns. He feels chilled again, so he climbs in under the covers, pulling them right up and sighing in relief at how good it feels.
He hears Eddie’s footsteps a few minutes later, then the soft click of him setting down the glass. Buck expects Eddie to leave after that, but instead he feels the bed dip.
“What are you doing?” he mumbles sleepily.
“I’m keeping you company.”
“You don’t have to. If you have other things you need to do—”
Eddie gets comfortable, pulling off his sling and setting it down beside the bed. “I’m right where I want to be.”
Buck wants to argue, wants to tell Eddie that he’s being reckless, that he’s going to get sick too but all he can focus on is how warm Eddie is beside him. And maybe this is what Bobby meant, when he said Buck should take things for himself.
He turns, burrowing into the warmth of Eddie’s body. “Me too.”