Chapter Text
Kirk watched in horror as the arrow was released, too slow to stop it from embedding in Spock’s side. He fired his phaser without a second thought his entire being focused on the injured Vulcan. The assailant fell to the ground and Kirk dove to the ground beside him, shaking hands flitting above the wound.
Spock’s eyebrows were pulled together in pain, but his eyes remained firmly on the captain’s face. He was looking at Kirk like it was the last time he would see him, his eyes unguarded.
Kirk pulled out his communicator, “Scotty, beam Spock and I up and have McCoy and an emergency medical team at the ready. Spock may be fatally injured.”
His voice shook but he snapped the device shut clumsily shoving it back onto his belt, “Spock-“
A gentle shimmer enveloped both the men and the cold metal of the transporter platform bit into Kirk’s knees in the next second. In the second delay between he and Spock, McCoy had already taken over. Placing various bandages and devices on the now unconscious Vulcan.
He was whisked away on a gurney before Kirk could even find his voice. His hands were slightly stained green from Spock’s blood, and he could feel the residue that environment left on him like a second skin. He felt like he was suffocating staring down at his hands.
Deep breath in. Out. In. Out. The ship needed him, his crew needed a captain, and McCoy needed the room to work. He wasn’t sure how long he was sat kneeling on the platform, but when he looked up Scotty was stood at the platforms edge his brows pinched. “The locals were hospitable when I made contact, but when Spock returned from retrieving samples they-they-“
Scott crouched down placing his hand on Kirk’s knee, “It’s alright lad. Things will work out, they always do.”
Kirk nodded standing on autopilot his entire body hurt and he could feel a tension headache waiting for his adrenaline to wear off, “Scotty you have the helm for now, head for Starbase 10, tell Starfleet that planet Ironium will not be joining the federation due to xenophobic principles and violence.”
Scotty nodded his brows still pinched, but he said nothing further watching the captain leave the room in a haze.
His room was as he had left it, bed hastily made, data pads scattered across the desk, a half-completed game of 3D chess on the table in the corner. Spock was going to win that game, as well, he could have won three moves ago, but the both of them had begun prolonging their games lately. He slipped the ripped command shirt over his head bits of soil falling loose from his hair.
He dragged a palm over the edge of the chair Spock had occupied only a few hours prior. He slipped into the shared bathroom refusing to look into the mirror he stepped into the sonic shower. He wished for a real water shower to soak the hot water into his tense muscles.
He stepped out of the sonic feeling more like a human being than before, but all the more exhausted. For a moment he just stood staring at the adjoining door to Spock’s suite. He wondered if Spock’s bed was hastily made, but he highly doubted it. Spock was always going on about Vulcan’s needing less sleep than humans.
He slipped into a pair of soft sweatpants and a plain shirt; he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on the bridge until he knew of Spock’s condition. He felt the edges of panic cloud his vision when he remembered the look on Spock’s face just before they beamed up.
He had never seen so much open emotion on his first officer’s face before, he could see the pain, but he also saw so much love and adoration. Spock looked at him in that moment he had seen many a dying lover look. As if he could memorize the lines of his face and take it with him to the afterlife.
The doors to the medical bay were closed, but Kirk could hear voices just beyond. The closer he got he could start to pick out voices; he could hear Nurse Chapel speaking with another yeoman and fainter he could hear the sound of McCoy yelling. He pushed open the door nodding toward the nurse and yeomen before following the sounds of shouting.
McCoy may put up a gruff attitude that he didn’t like Spock, but Kirk knew he would be just as devastated if we were to lose him. That he would fight just as hard as Kirk would to keep him alive. He would save Spock.
McCoy was standing just inside the doorway of one of the private rooms his arms raised along with his voice, “No, Spock, you need rest! I’m sure the crew will manage twelve hours without you. That arrow missed your heart by inches, you need recovery time!”
Hearing Spock’s name he rushed into the room nearly running into the good doctor, “And look Jim got here anyway!”
Kirk didn’t even hear what McCoy said too busy taking in the man on the biobed. His skin was somehow even paler than usual, and his shoulders hunched inwards like he couldn’t muster the strength to have good posture.
There was already a chair pushed up against the bed and Kirk sat down his eyes never leaving the man in front of him. He reached out again his hand hovering over Spock’s arm not quite touching yet, Spock closed the distance clasping Jim’s hand in his own.
It almost felt like an electric shock up Kirk’s arm that also felt a lot like finding the missing piece to a puzzle you’ve had for years. Spock was alright, he was alive and breathing. He knew instinctively that Spock could feel at least some of his emotions through their contact, but it seemed such a small matter right now.
“How are you feeling, Spock?” his voice came out rougher than he intended, and he cleared his throat.
“I fear that I may be slightly indebted to the Doctor now seeing as he did indeed save my life,” his other hand drifted toward the bandage on his side.
“Are you hurting? Is there anything I can do?”
Spock squeezed his hand, “Jim, I assure you you’re helping currently.”
“He kept ranting and raving about how he needed to see you when we were trying to put him under,” Bones stepped up placing his hand on Jim’s shoulder, “damn arrow missed his heart by an inch if he wasn’t so stubborn, we may have lost him.”
“I assure you Doctor I do not ‘rant and rave’ I simply required Jim’s presence,” almost unconsciously he pulled Kirk’s hand closer to his body like McCoy was going to make him leave.
“I don’t care what you say, Spock, you yelled at Christine when she refused to call Jim and then again when Jim didn’t answer,” McCoy waved his hand at the two and left the room sliding the door closed behind him.
“Vulcans do not yell,” he sounded downright pouty, and it made Kirk laugh. He felt relief and joy, but he also felt worries and doubts that didn’t feel like they belonged to Kirk.
He looked down at their clasped hands, pale wrapped around tan, Spock’s hand felt bigger than his own with long thin fingers. They fit together perfectly. “Spock, does Vulcan touch telepathy usually work both ways? I seem to feel your unease and dare I say worry.”
He watched in fascination as a green tint covered Spock’s cheekbones, but he didn’t try to remove his hand, “It seems my mental shielding is just as tired as I am and while an illogical emotion, I am worried.”
Kirk wrapped his other hand atop their connected ones, “The ship is fine, and I already informed the federation that Ironium won’t be joining anytime soon.”
“While that information is useful I find myself worried about you, Captain,”
“Me? I’m fine Spock, you were the one injured.”
“In the moments before transporting you looked troubled and when you feared touching me, I must admit, it made me worry for your mental wellbeing. While we have never spoken on the matter you have always touched me freely,” Kirk felt an unnamed emotion well in his chest his heart beating faster.
He never really thought about how often he touched the Vulcan, but for Spock to have his own recorded data it must be a significant amount. He knew that touching was a very delicate situation for Vulcan’s and he himself was an inherently touchy person. He never thought Spock enjoyed it, certainly not enough to worry when Kirk didn’t.
“I apologize for worrying you Spock I’m okay now that I know you’re alright,” he took a deep breath letting it out through his nose, “I didn’t want to bombard you with my own emotions in that moment. I care for you deeply and I was scared of losing you.”
“It is highly illogical, but there was a moment where I believed I would die and the only thing I desired was for you to hold me as you are now,” Spock looked at their joined hands.
“When I was a child, I asked my father why he married my mother. He told me it was logical, but he also revealed to me that he does indeed love her. I never understood how an emotion could be logical until I met you, Jim.”
Jim sat frozen staring into the eyes of his first officer, his best friend, and without a doubt his soulmate. He couldn’t find the right words to say anything back; I love you too, I’m so glad you’re alive because I know I will die without you here and thank you for everything. He pushed all of those feeling towards Spock hoping he understood through their contact.
Spock’s almost smile turned into an actual smile, soft and gentle and it made Kirk gasp, “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular.”
Kirk wasn’t sure how his mind already knew what that meant. Maybe it had something to do with their contact but another more hopeful part of his brain whispered about bonds.
Kirk stood and leaned over the biobed bringing his forehead to rest against Spock’s the both of them closing their eyes simply enjoying being close to each other. It was Spock who leaned forward bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. The first of forever.