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Alex gets dizzy whenever he looks into Willie’s eyes for too long.
Thankfully, Willie doesn’t give him the chance; eye contact makes him nervous, he’s a chronic giggler, and Willie’s nervous giggles just make Alex’s heart feel like it’s going to explode. It shouldn’t be possible, the effect Willie has on him… but he wouldn’t trade it for a second, when it means getting to love him every day, and getting to lay beside him at night.
Maybe Willie knows when someone’s staring, even in his sleep… because Alex has only been studying him in the darkness for a few minutes before his nose starts to twitch, scrunching up like a rabbit. He sighs and nestles deeper into Alex’s chest; one leg comes up, accidentally kneeing Alex in the shin, and it takes everything in his power not to curl up in pain. Waking Willie right now would be the worst thing in the world. It’s long past midnight, and this moment feels sacred. The very last thing Alex wants is to disturb him.
Willie sighs again, though, and Alex realizes it might not be up to him.
His fingers card through long, silky hair, gentle as a lullaby. This always works in soothing his boyfriend; but tonight, it has the opposite effect. Willie stirs. His eyelids flutter, and he sighs into the fabric of Alex’s t-shirt.
“You’re warm,” he murmurs.
Alex smiles. “You’re beautiful. Guess we’re even.”
“Doesn’t make sense,” Willie points out, clever even halfway lost in dreams. In the dim light, his eyelashes cast long shadows against his cheeks; his hair falls into his face like a veil separating them both from the rest of the world. Willie would be beautiful even if Alex were blind. He just has the pleasure of seeing him, adoring him, every second of the day.
God, how did he get so lucky?
He hums, letting the sound rumble through his chest. Willie’s eyes crack open to look up at him, hazy and unfocused. A clumsy hand drifts up to bop Alex’s chin.
“Y’re not sleepy?”
“Nah. Too busy watching you.” Gently, Alex tucks the stray strands of hair out of Willie’s face. “What woke you up, Dream Boy?”
Willie’s cheek smushes against his chest. “Nicknames’re my thing.”
“They can be both our things.” Alex can’t help the temptation; he gently boops Willie’s nose, just to see it crinkle, just for that sleepy smile to spread across his face.
“What woke you?” he asks again, and Willie exhales long and slow.
“Your heartbeat.”
“My —“ Alex blinks, baffled. It’s not that weird, in context; some days, he has to pause and listen to his own pulse, amazed that it’s actually there. After twenty-five years unbeating… it’s steady. It’s sure. It’s as reliable as if he never died at all.
No one ever said ‘Coming Back To Life Through The Power Of Love’ came with an instruction manual. It doesn’t have to make sense; it doesn’t have to let him rest in peace. (And maybe the reason he’s wide awake in the middle of the night is because he still can’t figure out the hows and whys, and they twist him into knots in the quiet hours.)
Willie’s eyes flutter in the dim light. He smiles, slow and syrupy. For the first time, Alex realizes exactly where he’s laying. Curled up against his side, Willie’s head is positioned directly over his beating heart.
“‘S like a drumbeat in my ears. You’re made of percussion, Alex.” His voice drops with fondness. “Made of music. How’re you such a beautiful song?”
Heat rushes to Alex’s cheeks — another benefit of being newly alive. “You’re sleepy.”
“Mmm. But I’m right.”
Again, Alex can’t help himself. He pulls Willie closer — just enough to press a kiss to his brow. Never one to settle, always eager to push, Willie leans up. Alex ends up with all of him, holding as much as he can handle yet still wanting more. When Willie’s lips press against his, it feels like coming home.
It only beats for you, he thinks, and tries to push the emotion into his kiss. My heart is yours for as long as you want to listen.
Willie’s not quite there yet… but one day he will be. One day, their hearts will beat in tandem, and it’ll all be worth it.
For now, Alex just pulls his boyfriend closer, and lets the gentle rhythm of his heart lull them both to sleep.