Work Text:
“Motherf-”
“Teddy, if you finish that sentence in front of my three-year-old, I will end you,” Arizona sang as she grabbed some grapes and tossed them into the cart. “Sofia, try to not hit Aunt Teddy’s ankles.” Teddy hopped in front of her, trying to rub at her ankles. “I told you to wear boots.”
“I thought that was just you being a mom or whatever. I didn’t realize that your child was going to try and take me out by the ankles,” Teddy groaned, leaning against the cart. “This is like… like aunt abuse or something.”
“Mama, Mama, ‘nanas please?” Sofia asked, precariously balancing on the tiny cart she was pushing.
Arizona sighed, reaching down to pull Sofia off of it. “Both feet on the ground, missy. And yes, we can get some bananas.” Arizona went to grab them, only for Sofia to loudly demand they go in her cart. “What do we say?”
“P’ease?” She blinked up at Arizona with Callie’s wide, dark eyes and Arizona was going to be seriously screwed when Sofia got older. “Fank you, Mama,” Sofia said, patting her newly acquired bananas with glee.
“Of course, your toddler says please and thank you,” Teddy chuckled, still nursing her ankle. “But like, should she be in a car seat or something?”
“It’s good for her motor skills,” Arizona replied as she bagged some bell peppers. “Just mind your ankles, she’s brutal with that thing.”
Teddy eyed Sofia warily as the toddler played with the tiny cart. “I still don’t know if I’ve recovered from the lego last month. I swear, Yang put it there on purpose. Arizona, don’t laugh! My foot still hurts!” Teddy swatted at her, but Arizona sidestepped in favour of the berries.
“Sof, strawberries or raspberries?”
“Raberries,” Sofia said definitively.
“She’s certainly your kid. Very bossy,” Teddy called from a safe distance behind the cart. “What’re we having for dinner? And can you even cook? Doesn’t Callie cook all the time?”
“Callie just likes cooking when we have people over. It’s better for both of us. You make one spreadsheet for Thanksgiving and suddenly you’re being ‘a pill, Arizona’ and ‘ruining Thanksgiving’ and ‘need to calm down before you give me grey hair’.”
“Sorry, I asked,” Teddy snorted, “So you can cook though? Because I can’t.”
“Sof, doesn’t Mama make yummy food?”
“‘uper yummy! Teddy hand please?” Sofia reached up for Teddy’s hand and Arizona had to stifle a laugh as Teddy melted, happily accepting Sofia’s hand.
Sofia chatted to Teddy about the drama between her most favourite bear and her second most favourite bunny rabbit who apparently could no longer be next to each other on her bed. Arizona covered her mouth before she started laughing at the very serious expression on Teddy’s face. Teddy Altman, head of cardiothoracic surgery at one of the top hospitals in the country, Army Major and veteran, and yet, totally engrossed in a serious discussion with a toddler over whether or not she thought that Doc the bunny rabbit had a crush on Pookie the bear. From what Arizona could tell, Teddy came down on the positive that Doc had a crush on Pookie.
Arizona was in the middle of grabbing the bread Callie needed for her french toast when a little hand tugged at her jeans. “Yes, little miss?”
“‘mores, Mama? They’re yummy and chocol-ey.”
“Mores?” Teddy asked.
“Sof, s’mores are something we have with Pops at the cabin, not at home.”
“‘mores, Mama!” Sofia demanded with a pout that tugged at Arizona. It was almost scary sometimes how much Sofia looked like Callie and Arizona just knew that she was gonna be totally screwed if she ever had to really discipline Sofia. “wan’ ‘mores.” Sofia started to push her little cart away, presumably towards wherever she could find the pieces for s’mores.
“Sofia!” Arizona abandoned her cart, jogging to catch Sofia. “You know the rules, you stay right next to me or Aunt Teddy.” Sofia nodded her head, that reluctant, little pout still present.
Sofia huffed out a breath, somehow perfectly mimicking Callie’s annoyed face. After a moment of deliberation, Sofia reached for Teddy’s hand.
The smile that broke out on Teddy’s face was almost picture perfect.
“So… when are you and Henry going to have babies?” Arizona asked as she tossed some pasta in the cart.
Teddy smacked her on the arm. “Have you and Henry been talking? Oh God, are you two going on your weird friend things again? I feel like I never should’ve introduced you.”
“Introduced us? You two come over for dinner like three times a week. I’m pretty sure Henry waters our plants more than we do.”
“So, yes, you and Henry went and watched romcoms at the movie theater again. And apparently talked about babies. You have to be on my side. You’re my best friend. And you were all ambiguous towards motherhood,” Teddy said, “I’m not against having a baby, I’m just wary, that’s all.”
“Pro tip: don’t drive into the back of trucks.” Teddy choked out a laugh. “What? I’m just sayin’. And you and Henry would have cute babies.”
“Fine, when are you and Callie getting around to that second kid?” Teddy shot back, a smug look in her eye. “You’ve been talking about that since Sofia was born.”
“We’re in the middle of picking out a donor.”
“And you didn’t tell me? Some best friend you are. Oh God, imagine if we were pregnant at the same time.”
“Callie and Henry would never forgive us.”
“But our kids could be best friends and we could be miserable and pregnant together. What do you think, Miss Sofia? Do you want a sibling and a cousin?”
“Want ‘mores,” Sofia demanded, her bottom lip jutting out. “Teddy, ‘mores?”
“Sorry, sweets, your Mama said no,” Teddy said with a shrug.
Arizona snorted, “Way to throw me under the bus.”
“She’s your kid.” Teddy shrugged unconvincingly. “Not my monkey, not my circus.”
“Did you just call my daughter a monkey? Sofia, are you a monkey?” Arizona picked Sofia up, propping her on her hip. Sofia gave an enthusiastic impression of a monkey, nearly smacking her mother in the face. “Teddy, can you grab the canned tomatoes?”
“Why don’t you guys just buy pre-made sauce?”
“Callie likes making it. Who am I to deny her that? Especially when it’s so good.” Sofia squirmed in her arms, trying to climb down. “Okay, okay, you can walk.” Arizona set Sofia back on her feet, the little girl rushing to her tiny cart. “Right, let’s see here, we just need… oh, of course, cereal. Can’t forget the Lucky Charms. Teddy, you’re in charge of Sofia. It’ll be good practice for your own little baseball player.”
“That was the straightest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” laughed Teddy as she shepherded Sofia towards the cereal aisle. “Oh, you should buy some Pop Tarts.”
“You’re so smart sometimes.”
Teddy straightened up, narrowing her eyes at Arizona. “Why did that sound like an insult?” Arizona shrugged, stopping the cart in front of the blue boxes. “Oh no, don’t get strawberry, get blueberry or mixed berry. Strawberry’s so gross.”
“You did not just say that.”
“Strawberry’s so gross? Um, yeah, I totally did.”
“And you’re telling me, with a straight face, that you eat blueberry? Are you okay?”
“You’re the one eating strawberry!”
“Because I have taste?”
“Clearly not.”
“Why do you even care, Altman?”
“Because I’m at yours constantly and I feel like I should have a say in the snacks.”
“When you pay rent, you can have a say in the snacks. Here, Sofia can be the tie breaker. Sof- oh my God, Sofia!” Arizona yelped, twisting around, looking desperately for Sofia. But the little girl was gone. “Teddy, where’s Sofia?” Sofia was just gone. Not even waiting for Teddy, Arizona just took off down the aisle, calling for Sofia. Teddy chased after her, nearly falling on her face. “Sofia!”
She could vaguely hear Teddy explaining the situation to an employee, but she wasn’t going to wait around for protocol.
“Sofia!” She rounded another aisle and gasped out, “Oh thank God.”
There was Sofia toddling towards her, a huge bag of marshmallows clutched in her arms.
“Mama, ‘mores!” Sofia grinned up at her as she gripped Arizona’s leg. “See, Mama?”
Arizona scooped her up, cradling her. “I see, Sof. No, no more wandering, okay? You… You’re okay, you’re okay.” She pressed kisses across Sofia’s face in a weak attempt to slow her racing heart.
“Arizona?” Teddy called, “Oh, you found her. Thank God. I nearly had a heart attack. And I doubt I’d be able to help myself.” Teddy let out a nervous chuckle.
Even as Sofia squirmed in her arms, Arizona held her tight. That split second of thinking Sofia was gone was enough to majorly stress Arizona out.
“I love you so much,” she murmured into Sofia’s hair, rocking her slightly. “Teddy, can you-”
“Grab the cart? On it.”
The three of them drifted through the checkout quietly until Arizona burst out into laughter at the sight of Sofia’s marshmallows being put into a bag.
“I guess we’re having s’mores after all, little miss,” she laughed, pressing a kiss to Sofia’s cheek. Sofia giggled as she pulled a bit on Arizona’s hair. “Hey, hey, gentle. Why don’t you go talk to Aunt Teddy?” Sofia happily climbed over to Teddy, who was also looking a little worse for wear.
Soon enough, the three of them were back in the car, Sofia chattering to one of her stuffed animals. Teddy and Arizona shared a glance before breaking down in giggles.
“I can’t believe you eat blueberry Pop Tarts.”
“I can’t believe you eat strawberry Pop Tarts.”
Any further argument was cut off by Arizona’s phone ringing through the car.
“Hey Calliope, we’re just leaving the grocery store now.”
“ Oh, cool, I’m just walking out of work. How’s S- ”
“Arizona lost Sofia-”
“I did not. You were watching her-”
“You lost Sofia? What happened? Is she okay? Arizona?”
“She’s fine, she just wandered. You know how she wanders. Sof, can you say hi to Mommy?” Arizona twisted around to get Sofia’s attention. “Sofia?”
“Hi Mommy! Gonna have ‘mores!”
There was an audible sigh of relief on Callie’s end of the line.
“See? Everyone’s okay and now we have marshmallows. Everything’s fine.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll see you at home then. Love you. ”
“Love you too,” Arizona said back before ending the call. “Teddy, I swear to God I’m gonna kill you,” she hissed under her breath, glaring at Teddy out of the corner of her eye.
“We forgot to get the cereal.”
“Seriously, Teddy?”
“Seriously.”
“Awesome.”