Work Text:
Jisoo just came home to the dorm after a long day of schedule. She had an individual photoshoot for a clothing brand that day. She was just entering the dorm. It was past midnight, so the dorm was already quiet by then.
Js: “Aish, kamcagiya.”
She was shocked seeing someone sitting at the kitchen counter with bare light to lit up the room.
Jn: “Hey Unnie.”
Js: “Jennie?”
She didn’t answer her.
Js: “What the hell are you doing there by yourself?”
Jn: “Oh… uhm, nothing. I couldn’t sleep and you weren’t home yet. So I just came here to get a drink.”
Js: “But you’re gonna have tight schedule tomorrow. The last time you slept late you came late to that meeting, remember? Your solo is just right around the corner, Jennie. You should rest well.”
Jn: “I know, I know.”
Jennie spoke in a low voice, as she continued to stare at the cup of warm tea in front of her which was beginning to get cold.
Js: “Okay, what is it?”
Jn: “What is what?”
Js: “What’s bothering you?”
Jn: “Nothing.”
Js: “Oh come on, Jendeuki. I know something’s bothering you. you’ve been off these past few days. What’s up?”
Jisoo walked over to Jennie and took a seat on the bench next to her while looking into the eyes of her girlfriend who until then was still looking down.
Jn: “I just…. I just don’t know what I did wrong, Unnie.”
Js: “What do you mean?”
Jn: “I don’t know what I did wrong. Is this too fast? Are we on the right track here? Maybe this is all just too fast, you know? The group has been on for only 2 years now, Unnie. Maybe they’re right. Maybe all of this is a bit too soon. Maybe they’re not so crazy for thinking that I may seem selfish for doing this now.”
Jisoo let out a long sigh. She knew that this issue would come on the surface eventually. She had a feeling that Jennie was keeping her feelings repressed since the media started those articles regarding Jennie’s upcoming solo.
Js: “Jendeuki, why are you keeping this to yourself? Why didn’t you talk to me sooner? I know this has been on your mind since a long time. You know I’m always here, right?”
Jn: “I know, Unnie. It’s just that… I don’t know, I feel like maybe I worry too much? That I whine too much? And you always told me to never get tired of pursuing my dream. I just don’t wanna disappoint you. I don’t wanna disappoint all of us.”
Js: “Hey, hey. Jennie, look at me.”
Jisoo took her girlfriend’s hands and held them tight. Her eyes searched for the latter’s. Jennie returned the gaze of the woman in front of her.
Js: “Come on, let’s sit on the couch.”
Jisoo pulled Jennie’s hand and guide her to the sofa in the living room. jisoo took a seat and she opened her right arm so that Jennie could sit and lean on her. jennie sat down next to her and rested her head on the older’s shoulder. Jisoo lifted her right hand up and stroked Jennie’s hair.
Js: “Okay, first of all, baby, I never said that you shouldn’t get tired of what you’re doing. We may feel tired at times and that’s totally okay. But the one thing we shouldn’t do, is give up. We’re human, Jennie. Sometimes we do get tired, even when doing something we really loved. Do we whine sometimes? Yes. Do we get fed up? Absolutely. But do we give up? Absolutely not. It’s totally okay to feel that way. And it’s totally okay to take a break to catch some air for a sec. But we just have to know when we would come back, you know? So don’t ever think that you’ll be disappointing us just because you feel tired, Jendeuki. Just talk to me, okay? Talk to us. We’ll figure things out together. We always got your back, baby.”
Jisoo said those words with the calmest tone, assuring her girlfriend that there is really nothing to worry about.
Jn: “Thank you, Unnie. I know you guys are always here for me. But… urgh, I just can’t get this thing off of my head, you know? Am I crazy for thinking that what they said about me started to make sense?? Do you really think so, Unnie?? Do you think that this is happening way too fast??”
Js: “Okay baby, calm down. But I thought the four of us had made it clear about all this? What’s got in the way now?”
Jn: “I don’t know…..”
Js: “Alright, once again, you know how we don’t always agree on everything that YG has put for us, right? But do we still support whatever it is that each of us is assigned for? Of course. And do we do that as best as we can? Absolutely yes! You know where we all are on this solo thing, Jennie. If we had the power to postpone, we probably would. But unfortunately we….. don’t. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t nail it, baby. If there is anyone who could pull this off, that person is you, Jennie Kim. Do not ever doubt yourself, okay?”
Jn: “But I just can’t get these thoughts off my head, Unnie. I’m so afraid that I might ruin everything! It’s not just about the solo I’m talking about. What if something happened and then it effects the whole group? What if the media interpreted it wrong and thought that the group broke up and it started to become a mess in the news? What if people start dividing us individually? The public hasn’t got enough chance to get to know us, Unnie. They haven’t truly known who we are and how strong our bond is. I don’t want to create any conflict to the public, Unnie, especially to Blinks!”
Js: “Jennie, hey—”
Jisoo turned her body to face the younger, and cupped her face with both hands. Their eyes stared into each other’s deeply.
Js: “Listen to me, okay? All of that, is just random scenarios in your head. We don’t even know if any of that would ever happen. Please, Jennie, please stop beating yourself up with negative thoughts about things that we don’t even have the control over. It’s gonna eat you alive, for heaven’s sake! Okay, let’s be real, here. Even if any of that would ever happen in the future, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. I’m 100% sure we are gonna get through that together. You may be releasing solo music, Jennie, but we are still Blackpink. We are still one. We belong with each other. Anything that may come through one of us, we are going to face it together. You don’t have to worry. You’ve got us, baby. You hear me? You are never alone.”
Jennie wrapped her arms around Jisoo's neck and pulled her into a hug. She buried her face in the crook of Jisoo’s neck.
Jn: “Thank you, Unnie. Thank you so much. I seriously don’t know how I would do all this without you. please don’t ever leave, Unnie. Promise me you’ll always be here with me forever. Promise me, Unnie.”
Tears started coming down Jennie’s face. Jisoo could feel the collar of her shirt started to get wet.
Js: “Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, I promise to always be with you forever. I promise to never ever leave you. I promise to keep loving you no matter what. I promise.”
Jisoo kissed the top of Jennie’s head while tightening her hug, making sure that there is nothing keeping them apart but their clothes.
Jn: “Urgh, this is so lame.”
Jennie was the one who pulled back first. She wiped her excess tears from her cheeks.
Js: “how you could be the great and fierce Jennie Kim on stage, but yet a complete baby mandu at home, I’ll never figure it out.”
Jisoo teased the younger.
Jn: “That means I did a great job building my image, Unnie.”
Js: “You sure did, Jendeuki. You’ll always gonna be my baby mandu.”
Jennie has calmed herself down. They switched to the prior position.
Jn: “Hey, Unnie?”
Js: “Hm?”
Jn: “You know how I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a kid, right?”
Js: “Yeah. You even asked Eomma to sign you up to agencies when you were just 10.”
Jn: “Kekekeke…. Right.”
Js: “Why?”
Jn: “Well, as much as how much I wanted all of this, I never thought I could make it this far.”
Js: “Yeah? Why not?”
Jn: “Hmmm, I don’t know. I just thought I never had that much of a talent, you know? I wasn’t that good of a singer, I wasn’t that good of a rapper, I wasn’t that good of a dancer. When I see all the other trainees, oh my god, I was very intimidated. I saw this bunch of young girls with their extraordinary talents. It was like a dream to even want to debut.”
Js: “Okay, first of all, in case your anxiety attack earlier caused you some memory lost, YOU are our main rapper, remember? A lot of people would kill to have even a slight of your talent, Jennie. And also, when we were trainees, everybody seems intimidating, don’t you think? I felt that too. I’m sure we all did. And in my opinion. Pure talent compares nothing to hard work. It doesn’t matter if you had all the talents there could be, if you don’t work hard on it, that talent will never get you anywhere.”
Jn: “Well, yeah, I agree with you, Unnie. That’s why I am so grateful to have met the three of you. A lot of times back when I was still a trainee, I was this close to giving up. It was so harsh, you know? Being told over and over again that you are still not good enough. But when I met you guys, everything felt a little easier. Like I had shoulders to hang on to. I even loved how that crazy ass maknae always got excited when the monthly exam came. But no wonder though, Lisa always got an A on her exam, hahaha. And how Rosie would just sing her heart out to every possible situation. Good or bad. Sad or happy. Even till now! You know what, I feel like the girl thinks she lives in a freakin musical movie. Seriously. That girl just never stops singing. And with you…. I felt.. calm. I don’t know why. I felt really relaxed. Like I didn’t have to worry anymore. From the moment I met you back then I knew that I would just stick with you everywhere. Like you were the missing puzzle I had been missing. It just clicked for us. I didn’t even care if I annoyed you so much. Ah! And those times the four of us went to Hongdae for no apparent reason?? Oh my god, we were so crazy! Crazily happy. I still don’t know why we came there so often, though. A lot of times we just came, bought some useless crap, got some ice cream, then went back to the dorm.”
Jennie giggled reminiscing their old days as a trainee. Jisoo was just listening intently in silent. She really loves it when jennie starts rambling about every random things that was going on in her head.
Jn: “Hahahaha… I missed us like that. We were so innocent, so clueless back then. All we knew was just work hard, and live one day at a time. We weren’t even sure if we were ever going to debut. But we just…. Kept doing it. But honestly, when it was already the four of us, deep down I had always had this feeling that we were gonna make it, you know? That all of our hard work would turn to something really amazing. I just knew. In my guts.”
Js: “See? That’s why.”
Jn: “What?”
Js: “That’s why I never wanted you to doubt yourself, Jennie.”
Jn: “Why does that have anything to do with that?”
Js: “Because you have a heart of pure gold, Jendeuki.”
Jennie didn’t respond, still waiting for the further explanation.
Js: “You never took anything for granted. Wherever success has brought you to, you always came back and appreciate little things that most people would just forget in a sec. You always value things, Jennie. And I really admire that from you. You always care for the people around you. And you don’t just do that, you do that because you really do care. And that’s pretty awesome. You always want to keep doing as best as you can and work as hard as you can because how much you value those things. That’s why I never had a single doubt in you, Jennie. I just wish you could just appreciate yourself the way I do, baby.”
Jisoo turned her body to face Jennie again, and stare deeply into the younger’s eyes.
Js: “I wish you would just see yourself the way I see you. How beautiful you are, how talented you are, how exceptional you are, Jennie Kim.”
Jennie was left speechless by Jisoo’s words. She was just silent for a few second and just stared into her girl’s eyes. She then pulled Jisoo in and land a kiss on her lips. Jisoo wrapped her hands on jennie’s back, bringing her closer as she deepened the kiss. Jennie brought her arms up to the older’s neck and wrapped them around. It was a passionate, yet tender kiss. They both sank into it, letting out their whole emotions on the surface. Their bodies moved closer, closing the remaining gap between them. Without breaking the kiss that has got more intense, Jisoo slowly pushed Jennie’s body until it lied perfectly down on the couch, making her own body lie on top of her girlfriend.
Jn: “Uh huh, not tonight, Jisoo. I’ve got a full day tomorrow.”
Jisoo loved how Jennie always switches to just calling her by her name whenever they are intimate.
Js: “Urrghh, fine….”
Jn: “Let’s just head to my bedroom and cuddle.”
Jennie gave a little peck on jisoo’s pouting lips.
Js: “Hmm, okay then. I’ll meet you there, okay? I’m gonna take a shower first.”
Jisoo got up from the couch and started to walk to the bathroom.
Jn: “Okay, Unnie. But don’t take too long. I need my big spoon ASAP!”
Js: “Alright, baby. Be there in a sec.”