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Stupid Colors

Summary:

Everyone is born colorblind, and you only get to see vivid colors when you find your soulmate.

Or an AU where Scaramouche is confused and bitter because everyone around him is seeing colors.

Notes:

what's up? it's me ya' boi. this has been stuck in my drafts and, well, yeah. maybe i'll just post it instead of letting it rot.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Have you heard?” Childe says thrice after bursting through the door of Scaramouche’s house.

 

He made a mental note to steal the ginger’s spare key next time. A sigh leaves his lips as he stirs his coffee before bringing it up to his lips. Stupid little shit who can’t shut up even just for a minute.

 

Childe tugs on his friend’s robe, “Have you hea—”

 

“Heard what?!” He snaps, shooting him a glare.

 

“Scaramouche, Scaramouche,” The younger clicks his tongue and shakes his head while sporting a smirk, “Grumpy as ever, eh?”

 

The indigo-haired boy calmly sets his mug down before roughly grabbing the ginger’s collar, “Shut the fuck up, Tartaglia.”

 

The latter’s eyes widen before bursting into laughter. And, oh boy, did it make Scaramouche’s blood boil even more. He shoves him and goes back to the comfort of his warm, colorless, cup of joe. Childe didn’t miss at how his eye twitched in anger and it only made him smirk.

 

“Well,” He shrugs, “I just wanted to inform you that I can see colors now.”

 

What?

 

Childe snickers, “It was so magical—did you know that it just happened all of a sudden? I was only waiting for Zhongli to go out and when he did, colors exploded.  Did you know that Liyue is so colorful? I can’t wait to watch the lantern rite with Zhongli.”

 

That was the last straw. Before Childe knew it, he was pushed out of the older boy’s house and came face to face with a slammed door. He pouts and kicks a few rocks as he walked away. Maybe he’ll go share it with Lumine instead. She’ll understand, right? I mean, why would he even share it with Scaramouche in the first place?

 

Scaramouche who looks like he doesn’t have time for love.

 

“Stupid Archons,” Scaramouche grumbles while fixing his hat, “Stupid Tartaglia.”

 

How come everyone around him has been seeing colors these days? What about him? What kind of stupidity went into the Gods minds that made them go, “Ah, why don’t we make everyone not see colors until they see their other half?”, He could only curse them as he swung the door open, so wide that if somebody got hit, they would probably be knocked out cold for a few hours.

 

A weird sound catches his attention and it makes him turn his head, only to see two Fatui agents giggling at each other while looking all—hold on, are they kissing? The sight made Scaramouche make a weird face. He couldn’t even tell if it was disgust, anger, or envy (Or maybe a little bit of everything, but he would rather commit seppuku than admit it). He wonders if they could see colors. Scaramouche shakes the thought off his head and continues heading off. Maybe he’ll go to Liyue—or maybe Mondstadt?

 

He doesn’t know. He just wants to avoid seeing people be lovey-dovey and disgusting.

 

--

 

Apparently, going to Liyue was a mistake.

 

Now he’s sitting across Childe and Zhongli who can’t seem to keep their hands to themselves. They keep touching each other here and there. His eyebrows were too furrowed that Childe was starting to worry that they might get stuck to each other. Unibrow Scaramouche is funny, but it would haunt him forever.

 

“Can you two stop touching each other even just for a few minutes?” The indigo-haired boy heaves a deep sigh.

 

Zhongli turns to look at him, “Have you not found your soulmate yet?”

 

Childe bursts out laughing and elbows his other half, while Scaramouche felt his blood boil. This retired Archon is getting on his nerves and he will not hesitate to flip the table and throw it at him and his dumb giggly boyfriend any minute. Ah, how he hates the both of them. He looks away and sees Keqing holding hands with Ganyu. He panics and turns his head to the other side and sees the Tianquan Ningguang and Beidou having some sexual tension and it made him want to bleach his eyeballs—

 

Why is everyone around him falling in love?!

 

“Scaramouche,” Childe snaps his fingers in front of his face and it pulls him back to reality, “Are you alright? I know your complexion is normally pale, but, you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

 

Scaramouche found himself running. He just got up and bolted away from everyone. He was sure everyone had their eyes on him because who in their right mind would suddenly get up and run as if they were participating in one of Windblume festival’s games? Anyway, he can worry about the embarrassment next time. For now, he needs to know where he should go.

 

He eventually stopped running because his sides gave up. He reached his limit. He collapses on the grass and lets the wind slap him in the face. Fuck you, Barbatos, the boy grumbles to himself. Where was he anyway? He sits up and looks around. He has no idea, and he doesn’t care. He’s just glad that he and his eyeballs are finally free from watching everyone be lovebirds while here he was; colorblind and numb.

 

His eyes continue to look around as he got up and let his feet take him anywhere. He wonders what color the grass is, the sea, the sky—even those squirrels that ran when they saw him. What do they look like in full color? He heard Childe say how beautiful the sky is, but he wants to see it for himself.

 

The boy found himself in the gates of Mondstadt, face to face with a colorless city that seemed like they were busy with something—who would have thought that today was the Windblume festival? He heaves a sigh and tried his best to ignore the stares that everyone was giving him. Seeing a Fatui Harbinger really strikes fear into them and he can’t blame them.

 

What was he even doing in the city of freedom, of all places?

 

He abruptly comes to a stop when somebody tugged on his robe, making him turn to the culprit with a glare that surely gave shivers to an innocent passerby who immediately ran. Scaramouche was greeted by a blonde with an eyepatch (and a raven). She looks familiar.

 

“Ah, vagrant from Inazuma! It is you!” The girl greets, “It has been a while since I have been able to lay my eyes upon thee. What brings the likes of you here?”

 

What in the Archons’ fuck is she saying?

 

Oh.

 

The raven clears its throat, “What Mein Fräulein means is—”

 

“You’re right,” Scaramouche smiles, “When was the last time I saw you again? Ah, when I was trying to put an end to the Traveler’s journey. It truly is a pleasure to meet you again, your Highness.”

 

Fischl rolls her eyes and grumbles, “Still as mean as ever.”

 

“What do you expect?” He shrugs before ruffling the younger’s hair, “I’m a Harbinger, your Highness.”

 

“Silence!” Fischl smacks his hand away and it makes him chuckle, “I just had to make sure that it is indeed thee. After all, you might pull off another plan on—”

 

“Can you see colors?” Scaramouche suddenly says.

 

The younger girl’s face contorts into confusion before suddenly turning pink, “W-well, yes. Why would thee ask about that matter, vagrant?”

 

“You already found your soulmate?!” Scaramouche looked so defeated and Fischl would be lying if she said that he didn’t look weird.

 

How come everyone’s finding their soulmate and—Scaramouche sighs and uses both of his palms to slap himself. Hard. Fischl flinches at the impact but the older boy lets out a relieved sigh. She was really starting to get worried for this poor man. Oh, and is that Mona? Oh no.

 

“Fischl!”

 

Scaramouche turns around to face the owner of the voice and an audible gasp leaves his mouth as Mona Megistus made her way towards him. All of a sudden, it felt like all the air in his lungs were punched out—his mouth fell open so he could talk, but it seemed like he lost the ability to do so. It felt like everything was in slow motion, and as if his heart was being squeezed while it was beating erratically.

 

Before he could utter a word, Mona grabbed him by his collar, “Don’t you dare lay your hands on Fischl, you good for nothing scumba—”

 

“You have the prettiest eyes.”

 

It was Fischl’s turn to gasp.

Notes:

you made it. comments are highly appreciated!

ps. yeah, scaramouche didn't see colors before because maybe they weren't aligned for each other back then. ;)